InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Of Strings and Kevlar ❯ In Your Eyes ( Chapter 9 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Inuyasha.

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`Okay…here I go.'

Inuyasha shut his car door and looked up at the apartment building, spotting door number 206 on the second floor. Taking a deep breath to calm his jittery nerves, he forced himself to put one foot in front of the other and make his way to the staircase, his stomach flip-flopping the entire way. His heart was pounding, and his brain was going a mile a minute as he climbed the stairs, but he kept his face as calm as he could. He couldn't remember the last time he was this nervous.

Upon reaching the door, Inuyasha raised his hand with determination he didn't feel and knocked loudly. He heard a slew of curses from beyond the door that sounded like they were coming from Sango, and that was when he remembered how drunk she had been the night before. Smiling to himself, he idly wondered exactly how shitty she was feeling this morning, especially considering it was only about eight-thirty.

After a few thumps and another string of curses, the door flew open to reveal a very irate Sango squinting her eyes as the bright morning sunlight shone upon her sleep-worn face. Inuyasha would have laughed if she hadn't looked so completely terrifying at the moment.

“Why the fuck are you here so fucking early, and what the fuck do you fucking want?!”

“Damn, Sango!” he fired back. “Don't take your hangover out on me!”

“Fuck you, Yash!”

He paused briefly at the shortening of his name, and laughed, holding a hand up in defeat. “All right, I get it. I'm sorry you feel like shit, but I'm not here to see you.” His nerves suddenly kicked into high gear again, and he paused. This was big, and he couldn't help but wonder if he was about to throw himself in front of a truck.

Sango sighed impatiently, sagging against the door frame. “Well? Are you going to stand there all day, or are you going to tell me you're here to talk to Kagome?”

Doing his best to hide the anxiety in his voice, he nonchalantly looked past her into the apartment. “Is… is she here?”

Sango's expression softened in understanding. “Don't worry,” she spoke in a lower voice. “She stayed here last night. Alone.” Looking behind her briefly, she leaned in a little closer. “She never stays at his place overnight, and he has never stayed here.”

Inuyasha frowned. Though he was very happy to hear that Kagome and Koga seemed to have never spent the night together, he couldn't help but hear an unspoken message in Sango's choice of words. `She never stays there overnight, but she does go there sometimes. To do what?' he wondered, unsure if he wanted to know the answer.

Shaking his head to rid himself of such distracting thoughts, he focused on Sango once more. “Can I come in?”

She pursed her lips together and eyed him warily for a moment longer before taking a step back.

He gave her a small smile of gratitude and stepped past her into the apartment that smelled so much of her and Kagome, the latter of the two scents stirring emotions within him that were much too intense to properly analyze at the moment. He heard the sound of running water and took a quick look around to notice Kagome wasn't anywhere in the immediate vicinity. Stopping after reaching just far enough so Sango could shut the door, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, letting the air back out in relief upon the realization that Koga's scent may have been there, but it was old. Very old; almost two months by his estimation.

“I think she's in the shower. I'll go let her know you're here.”

“Uh, thanks.” As Sango shuffled tiredly out of the room, Inuyasha blinked as images of Kagome bathing came unbidden to his mind's eye. Quickly, he took in his surroundings in an attempt to distract himself, as there would be no end to his torment if Kagome came out to see him with a telling swell in his cargo shorts. But such was apparently fated against him, for in that moment, as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and examined some of the pictures of the two girls that adorned the frames in their small apartment, he heard a soft, lustful whimper come from somewhere in the back of the unit. And it sounded like Kagome.

Instinctively and with no slight amount of jealousy, Inuyasha took another lungful of air in through his nose to make sure there was no fresh scent of another male in the apartment, but there was none. Then came the realization that Kagome was not only naked and dripping wet at the moment, but also dripping wet in another fashion. But before he could even attempt to dampen the temptation to find his way back to her and offer to help her with her problem, the sudden tang of her sweet arousal reached him, and he reached out to grip the back of a nearby recliner to keep from losing his balance, not to mention his sanity.

She had just started.

Blowing all of the air out of his lungs in a forceful gust, Inuyasha shivered as he tried to maintain some sense of composure over his body's reaction. The delicious scent washing over him was doing nothing to help, and he struggled for control of his heated blood, desperately willing it to keep from flowing south. This was not good. Quickly assessing the situation, he realized that Sango had probably been unaware of her cousin's current activity, but she no doubt knew of it now; Kagome was being loud enough that even a human could hear her, at least by the time Sango had reached the bathroom door. So, at that point, Sango may decide to come back to the front room and tell him to come back another time in a sad attempt to save her cousin's embarrassment, and then she would notice his own situation. Then the real fireworks would begin.

Gradually, Kagome's damned whimpers and sexy little moans reached his ears again, growing in intensity along with the pungency of her sex, and all of the reasoning involving Sango's return fled his conscious mind. His breaths involuntarily quickened with hers as his dick stole enough blood from his brain to induce a coma.

It was then that he smelled and heard Kagome orgasm, and once again, all rational thought escaped him. But before he could completely lose his mind, the world stopped turning as suddenly a single word gently whispered from her lips rang loudly through him as if she had screamed it into his ear.

His name.

She said his name. Right after her climax. His name. Not Koga's. His.

Holy shit.

Male pride swelled to astronomical proportions at the realization that Kagome just got off while thinking of him. As it turned out, she was hot for him after all. He smirked. He knew he hadn't been imagining things when she looked into his eyes at Chimes. Unfortunately, his swollen ego soon deflated when he became aware that this had only made his problem that much worse, and discomfort quickly turned to panic after he heard Sango's awkward exchange with Kagome and the shutting of the bathroom door.

Weighing his options, he realized it was too late to leave; Sango was already almost back in the room and would see him making his escape. With no other alternatives available, he vaulted over the recliner and dropped onto the couch, quickly crossing an ankle over the opposite knee to hopefully hide the evidence of his excitement.

Sango returned to the front room then, bright crimson staining her cheeks. Inuyasha's own face felt warm, for both similar and different reasons, but he awkwardly met Sango's curious look nonetheless. He scratched the back of his head nervously. “Heh. I hope you don't mind I made myself comfortable. Your couch just looked so inviting.” He closed his eyes briefly. `Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid.'

Opening his eyes again, he noticed Sango's blush had brightened even more as understanding crossed her features. Still, she showed him mercy and chose not to comment on the obvious. “Uh, okay. That's fine.” She motioned toward the hallway, averting her eyes. “I, uh, told Kagome you were here. She's coming.”

`Actually, she already did.' “Uh, yeah. Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“Sure.” Sango coughed slightly into her hand and winced. “Dammit, this headache.” She rubbed her temples as she looked toward Inuyasha again. “Do you want something to drink while you wait for her?”

Suddenly he remembered why he was even here to begin with, and his throat went dry. Still, he couldn't stand up yet. “Uh, that's okay.”

Her blush returned as she turned away. “I can bring it to you if you want.”

“No!” He cringed, now completely mortified. “I mean, no thanks. I'm good.”

“…Okay,” she said, and disappeared into the kitchen.

He sighed and looked down at his crotch. `Please go down. I'm begging you, please. You want her to see me like this now? She'll freak and throw me out, and then you'll never have a chance with her. I know that isn't what you want, and it definitely isn't what I want. So please, for your sake and mine, just go down. Please.'

A sharp gasp drew his attention upwards, and his eyes shot up to meet the endless pools of rich espresso that had captivated him the very moment he had first seen them two weeks ago. She looked positively shocked, as if she hadn't been expecting him. But hadn't Sango already told her he was here? Then again, his name had never been mentioned in the bathroom…aside from Kagome's orgasm, that is. Maybe she thought Sango was talking about someone else. Maybe she thought Koga was here.

His blood heated again, though this time it was not from lust.

“What are you doing here?” she blurted out.

Inuyasha blinked and stood, his arousal already wilting as a result of the wolf coming to mind. He noticed the flushed color of her cheeks and imagined it probably had something to do with her shower activity. He couldn't help the cocky smirk that tugged at the corners of his lips as he wondered if she had any idea that he heard her, not to mention that he heard whose name she had called immediately afterward. Her eyes widened and looked at the floor as her blush deepened, and he mused that she probably did.

Tamping down on his ego, he cleared his throat, hoping to dissipate the tension without only creating more. “Good morning, Kagome,” he began.

Somehow, his greeting only made her blush fiercer, and she cocked her hip to one side and grabbed her elbow in an obvious sign of embarrassment, still not meeting his eyes. “H-hi. Hi,” she stammered.

“Kags?”

Inuyasha and Kagome both looked up to see Sango watching them intently before shifting her eyes directly to her cousin. Inuyasha watched as a nonverbal conversation seemed to take place between the two girls, and then Sango turned toward him and smiled hesitantly. “It was good seeing you, Yash. If I don't see you later, I guess I'll see you on Monday.” And with that, she grabbed a set of keys and a purse off the dining room table and quickly made her way for the exit.

As the door shut behind her, he turned back to face his remaining hostess, offering a small smile. To his relief, she returned it before turning toward the kitchen. “Something to drink?”

At this point, his mouth felt like the Mojave. “Sure.” He watched the slight sway of her hips as she walked away from him before shaking his head. `Must concentrate. Can't lose focus, or I'll end up jumping her on her kitchen counter.'

Kagome opened the refrigerator. “Orange juice, soda, water, fruit punch….”

“Water is fine.” He accepted the offered bottle, choosing at the last minute to forego letting his fingers linger on hers before she could let go. “Thanks,” he mumbled, unscrewing the top and downing almost half the bottle in three gulps. `Shit. I've gotta calm down!'

Kagome seemed to notice his nervousness but thankfully didn't comment on it. After taking a sip of her own water, she motioned toward the dining room. “Do… do you want to sit down?”

“Yeah,” he replied, growing increasingly frustrated with his short answers. Damn, this was awkward. He followed her back to the table and sat adjacent to her, noticing the blush had returned to her cheeks. Did she know why he was here? Was that a good sign or a bad one?

They sat quietly for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts and the stifling silence of the apartment. Inuyasha, for his part, couldn't decide whether she was happy to see him or just being polite. Then again, she didn't seem like the type of person who was nice for no reason, if her behavior in the Music Building two weeks ago was any indication. He smirked slightly at the memory of her wild eyes trained on him as she lit him up for “staring inside her practice room like a deranged lunatic.”

“What's so funny?”

He looked up to see her watching him, seemingly genuinely curious about his demeanor. Deciding that at this point, a little truth couldn't hurt—and may break the ice, as well—he shrugged and winked at her playfully. “Oh, I was just remembering how we first met.”

Kagome's eyes widened in surprise, her own lips quivering in a suppressed grin. “Oh, well…. You know, I'm not really as bitchy as everyone says I am.”

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. Was she self-conscious about what people thought about her? He shook his head. “I never said you were. And I don't think people think you're `bitchy,' so to speak.”

“That's what you said,” she pinned him with another glare, though he could see the humor in her eyes. “Let's see, I believe your words were, `Bitch, nobody told you it was okay to call me by my name.'” She grinned. “Does that sound about right?”

Chuckling, he leaned forward slightly to give her a mischievous glare of his own. “You were being pretty nasty to me for no reason.”

“No reason? You interrupted my practice!” She leaned forward as well, unknowingly giving him a birds' eye view of her cleavage. “How would you have felt if I had done the same to you?”

Licking his lips, he dropped his voice to a noticeably husky decibel and leaned in a little closer. “Oh, I don't think I would mind too much, as long as it was you.”

The girl's smug smile disappeared in an instant upon hearing the hunger in his tone, and she leaned back in her seat to take another sip from her water bottle, breaking eye contact.

`Dammit!' He sat back, immediately realizing his mistake. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to -”

“It's okay, really,” she supplied quickly, waving her hand. Inuyasha saw through her act, but he accepted it for now to avoid any more tension.

“So,” she continued. “Is there a reason you came over?”

He looked down at his water bottle and stared at it as if it held the secrets of life. Could he do it? Could he tell her everything that had been going on in his brain, in his heart, since meeting her?

“Inuyasha?”

As he looked back up into her eyes, he nearly lost his nerve. Those eyes… those fucking eyes! Why was it that every time he gazed into those eyes, his entire thought process skidded to a screeching halt? Why did it seem she held his very soul in those eyes, leaving him helpless but to simply stare into them as if doing so would warrant the offering of her heart? As if it would grant him her favor? Was he really so desperate? Did she really have him so twisted? Was he actually willing to beg for her affections?

“…Inuyasha?”

`Yes.'

“Kagome,” he began, finishing up his mental prep talk. It was now or never. “I want to talk to you about something.”

She bit her lip in a way that almost had him falling to his knees already. “O-okay.”

Holding up his hands, he tried to ease her nervousness. “Please, don't be… don't be scared. I just….” He paused, taking a deep breath. “I just want to tell you… something.” Dammit, why did he feel so awkward?

Kagome nodded slowly, still a little wary, but listening.

Inuyasha swallowed thickly. Could his heart beat any faster? “Kagome, I -”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

He frowned. “Saying what?”

Her head dropped slightly, but she kept eye contact with him. “My name. You keep calling me by my name.”

`What?' His frown deepened as he became utterly confused. “What else would I call you?”

This time she did look away, to her hands folded on the table top. “You usually call me `wench,' or -”

“Don't finish that,” Inuyasha implored, putting his large hand on both of hers. She blushed at the sudden contact, but he held firm. “Please. I'm sorry for ever calling you a bitch. You're not….”

Her dark eyes lifted to meet his, a slight smile on her pouty lips. If there was ever a moment he had to summon all of his willpower to keep from kissing her, it was now.

“I'm sorry. Go ahead,” she smiled a little more.

“Oh… right.” Realizing his hand was still on hers, he savored the contact and allowed it to bolster his courage. “Kagome,” he began again. “I….”

“Yes?”

He sighed and wiped the sweat off his brow with his free hand. Why was it so fucking hot in here all of a sudden? “I wanted to tell you that….” Another deep breath. “I wanted to tell you that… that….”

“What is it, Inuyasha?”

Upon hearing her say his name, he found the courage to hastily blurt out his confession. “IthinkI'mstartingtohavefeelingsforyou.”

“What?” she giggled a little. “I didn't understand a word of that! What did you just say?”

He relaxed a little at the light sound of her laugh. “Kagome, I'm starting to have feelings for you.”

Her smile faded somewhat, and again Inuyasha picked up that blasted scent of sadness coming from her.

“Before you say anything,” he hurriedly continued, “just hear me out. I know you're seeing someone.” He did his best to keep the growl out of his voice as he pointedly avoided mentioning Wolf Shit. “But I saw the way you acted with him last night. And I noticed your hesitation when he picked you up on the first day of camp.”

She gasped. “Wh-what do you mean? You saw that? I didn't hesitate!”

He shook his head. Maybe he was going too far with that. “Okay, look, forget I said that. What I meant to say was, maybe…. Well, I guess what I wanted to ask you…. Are you happy with him?”

The girl's despair spiked tenfold as she yanked her hands from his grasp. He let her go, but held her stare until she finally looked away. “Kagome, look at me, please.”

She refused, but he could smell the tears in her eyes, and he immediately regretted putting her in this position, but he couldn't stop now. “Please, just answer me. Does he make you happy?”

Her lower lip trembled, and Inuyasha's fingers ached to touch her, to reassure her. Instead, he clenched his hands on the table. “Does he?”

“Please,” she whispered, her voice low and broken.

He leaned forward slightly. “Please what?”

“Please don't make me answer.”

That was enough. Now he knew. “Kagome, listen to me. I know you don't know me very well, and that I don't know you, either, but….” He paused, knowing he could not reveal that Miroku had told him some things he knew he should't have. “But what I do know about you is that you deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who will make you happy.” One final deep breath before he took the plunge. “And I know I can be the one to make you happy.”

Kagome fixed him with a hard glare even as her lip trembled more violently. “Oh, yeah? And how would you know that? If you know so little about me, how do you know you could be the one to….” She stopped herself and stared at him, tightlipped.

His fists tightened. Damn that Hojo for doing this to her! “I know, I don't know you as well as I would like. But I want to know you. I want to know you better than anyone else does. I want… I want you, Kagome. I want to be with you.”

Her glassy eyes widened, her mouth slightly open. She brought shaky fingers to her mouth before dropping it on the table and speaking softly. “I can't.”

`Shit!' “You can, Kagome. You're not married to him. And it's not like I'm not asking you to marry me, either. All I want….” He paused when she looked down at her hands again, and he reached out to softly grasp her chin and raise it to face him. “All I want is a chance.”

She turned her head out of his grasp and stood, still facing him. “I can't, Inuyasha. I'm dating Koga. I need to give him a chance.”

“And two years isn't a chance?” he asked, rising to his own feet, unable to stop the low growl that rose in his chest at the mention of that piece of shit.

She narrowed her eyes and took a small step back from him. “How do you know we've been dating two years?”

He faltered a little, but figured this was safe territory. “Miroku told me,” he said, waving offhandedly. “Why, is that a matter of national security?”

Her face froze, and he made a mental note to warn Miroku later that he might have gotten him in trouble. “Look, it doesn't matter who told me,” he said, taking another step toward her. “If you've been dating for two years and you still feel like you haven't given him a chance yet, then maybe it's because you really don't want to.”

She frowned, her jaw tight, but he could see the insecurity in her eyes and knew he had touched on something. “You're overstepping your bounds, Taisho,” she warned.

But he pressed on. “Kagome, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You know that, right?”

She hesitated to answer, giving him an opportunity to pursue that line of thought. “Kagome, why did you act that way last night?”

Scrunching her eyebrows together, she cocked her head to the side. “What way?”

Inuyasha swallowed as he took another step toward her, now only a few feet away. “When you got to Chimes last night, you were comfortable around me all of a sudden. Same with today, as if you suddenly don't mind being around me.” Deep breath. “Was it because… of what happened in the Annex yesterday afternoon?”

Crimson brushed across her cheeks and nose, and Inuyasha knew he hit the nail on the head. “Because I think I know why you bolted. I think you felt guilty because you're dating that piece of - because you're dating Koga,” he quickly corrected, grousing inwardly at the name. “And then, if what he said last night is true, you probably feel like you betrayed him again by not telling him about the party. Is that true?”

She frowned, and he took her silence as admission. “So now, you feel guilty, and you think you can make it up to him by trying to work things out. Am I right?” he asked.

She simply stared at him, her mouth slightly open, frozen in her spot.

He clenched his fists, wishing that dickwad were here so he would have something to hit. “You don't fucking owe him anything! If you're not happy, you don't have to be with him! Why don't you give yourself a chance?”

Her eyes flashed angrily. “You don't know anything about me! You don't know how I feel! You can't tell me what to do with my relationship!”

“That isn't a relationship!” he roared back. “That is a guy liking a girl who doesn't like him back!”

“That's not true! Koga loves me!”

He would have smirked if he were more of an asshole. “But you don't like him. You didn't correct that part.”

“I -I -” she stuttered before promptly shutting her mouth and turning away from him with her arms crossed defensively.

Inuyasha sighed and took the final step to be right behind her, his ear twitching anxiously. The top of her head was just below his chin, and he longed to tilt his head just slightly and bury his nose into her still wet hair. “Kagome, I'm sorry if you think I'm being hard on you, but I meant what I said. I really like you.” He raised his hands and rested them on her shoulders, shuddering at the warmth of her skin beneath the thin fabric.

She tensed under his intimate touch. “Inuyasha, I can't give you what you want. I'm sorry,” she said, her voice cold despite her apology.

He cringed and slowly lifted his hands from her body, suspending them above her as if hoping to be welcomed back at any moment. “What about what you want?”

Her head bowed. “I already told you what I want,” she mumbled unconvincingly.

Inuyasha growled and whirled her around to face him, grasping her shoulders as gently as he could. “I don't believe you! I think you want me!”

Her frightened features did nothing to calm him, but he noticed no fear in her scent; only shame. “Answer me, Kagome! Tell me you don't feel the same for me, and I'll walk out this door and never bother you again! Just tell me the truth, please!”

“I….” Tears formed in her eyes once more, and Inuyasha cursed himself for being the cause of them. “I… I can't tell you that.”

“So why can't you be with me? I know I'm not imagining things when I look into those eyes, Kagome.” He brushed the back of his knuckles across the top of her cheekbone, eliciting a soft whimper from her. He softened his voice a little. “I know what I see. I know you feel for me the same way I feel for you. Please, just give me a chance. I swear I'll never hurt you.”

Her eyes snapped open as she pushed him away, sending him staggering with her surprising strength. “You can't say that! How can you make such a promise? You can never swear something like that!”

Inuyasha seethed, though he knew she was right. “Kagome,” his tone spoke of his frustration. “Won't you allow me to even try?”

“Listen to what you're asking of me!” She threw her hands up. “You're asking me to break up with my boyfriend to take a chance on someone I've only known for two weeks! How can you honestly expect me to react?”

“Don't bullshit me!” he bellowed. “You can't tell me I'm wrong! I know what I saw -”

“Stop saying that!” she cried, tears now flowing freely. “Yes, I feel something for you, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm in no position to do anything about it! I am Koga's girlfriend, and I need to start acting like it!” She paused to wipe her cheeks, unaware of the blade that had just been stabbed into the hanyou's chest. “I can't see you, not like that. I'm sorry, Inuyasha. Now please, you have to leave.” She turned her back once more, the scent of salt and misery heavy in the air around her.

His chest constricted in excruciating pain at her rejection as well as her obvious aversion to her own words. He bared his teeth as his anguish made its way through his body. “Wench, do you have any idea what it took for me to come here and do this?!”

He didn't receive a reply, nor did he expect one. Clenching his jaw, Inuyasha took a few purposeful steps toward the door, then stopped. Turning back to see her once more, he made his vow. “You're going to see how wrong this is. Even if you don't want me, you'll see how bad it is to force yourself to be with someone who isn't right for you.” Words of wisdom declared, he pulled the door open and made his exit, slamming the door behind him with enough force to rattle the floorboards under her feet.

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A/N: Just want to thank those who have reviewed this little work of fiction so far. Your kind words brighten my day. :) Sorry for ending a chapter like this, but Kagome's too stubborn to bend to my will. Let's see if we can't turn up the pressure a little more. *wink*