InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Okaeri Nasai, Welcome Home ❯ Flea ( Chapter 7 )

::Kat bounces into room, singing:: I finished CALM!! I SOOOO happy!!

Thanx going out to Akkiko this chapter for her Chapter Three review, which went something like this:

I just realized I haven't reviewed Chapters 3, 4 or 5!! ACK!! MUST SPREAD LOVE OF STORY!!!

LOL. I doesn't matter how depressed/psycho-pissed-off I'm feeling, you can always make me laugh.

This chapter is also dedicated to Meg, who had to move last month. I MISS YOU!!! ::even though I'm coming to harass you on Thursday, and you call almost every day anyway::

Uh . . . can't think of anything else to say, so here we go!!

Okaeri Nasai

Chapter Seven-Flea

Lady Kaede moved slowly around her hut, gathering herbs that had been drying for the past few weeks. She sat down by the fire and began to crush them as Kirara wandered in, looking disappointed.

"What is the matter Kirara?" Kaede asked the neko. "Did they leave you behind?"

Kirara mewed, and lay down, pouting. She did not like being ignored.

"I only hope Inu-yasha hasn't gotten into any trouble as of late," Kaede muttered. "He was in a very bad mood last night."

Then some shouts caught her attention. "Demons! Demons!!"

"Inu-yasha, you jerk!"

There was a yelp and a -boom- as Inu-yasha flew through Kaede's door. He looked behind him; his butt now had a lovely singe mark, thanks to Meg's lightening bolt.

"Freaky wench!" he yelled, balling his fist.

Kaede frowned. "Inu-yasha, do not shout. What has happened?"

"He groped me!!" Meg shrieked, coming through the door.

"It wasn't my fault!!" Inu-yasha yelled back.

"Oh yeah-pervert!!"

"Come on, Meg," Kat said from behind her. "Be fair. It wasn't his fault."

-flashback-

"Miroku," Inu-yasha said, walking up the road, "why must you always try?"

"Pardon?" Miroku turned to his friend, giving Inu-yasha the perfect view of the fresh handprint on the monk's face. (He had tried to -help- a young woman struggling with a basket, but it had ended badly)

"Why do you always grope women? I mean, they always slap you, no matter how good your intentions are."

"Well. . ." Miroku thought for a moment, and then took Inu-yasha's hand. "I'll show you."

He placed Inu-yasha's hand on Meg's behind.

Both Meg and Inu-yasha got little blue lines under their eyes.

Sango, Kagome, Shippo, Kat and Akkiko all looked back with shocked looks on their faces.

"Incoming," Kat and Akkiko said, plugging their ears.

"EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

-End-

"So, in reality, you should be throwing lightening bolts at Miroku, not Inu-yasha," Akkiko said brightly.

Miroku paled. "Hey-aren't you supposed to be defending me?!"

Akkiko crossed her arms. "Not if you're going to put your friends' hands on my friends' butts."

Kaede blinked at the three newcomers. They were dressed strangely, similarly to Kagome, but they looked like demons.

"K-Kagome, who are these girls?" the priestess asked.

"Oh, sorry, Lady Kaede," Kagome said. "This is Kat, Meg and Akkiko . . . um, maybe we should go inside to explain."

:::ten minutes later:::

"So. . . Naraku is planning something new now, is he?" Kaede poked at the fire. "And you have no idea what is coming up?"

Kagome shook her head. "All we know is that this oracle showed up and said that Kat, Meg and Akkiko would help us defeat whatever Naraku is cooking up."

"And she gave us some cool gadgets!" Akkiko said from near the door.

"And you three are . . . the sisters of Miroku, Sango and Shippo?" Kaede blinked.

"Yes, we are," Kat nodded. "From what Kameko Haru said, our souls were to be their siblings, but we died before we could be born. So we were reborn in Kagome's time, and . . . yeah . . . here we are!"

"SPIDER!!!" Meg screamed, and jumped up. Just a note to those who don't know her, Meg has a very sensitive fear to spiders . . . even saying the word `spider' will cause her to jump, shriek, and grab the nearest object in order to bludgeon the poor arachnid to death.

In this case, said object was the Tetsusaiga.

"SPI-DER!!" Meg screamed again, whacking at the miniscule dot with Inu-yasha's sword.

"Hey! Put that down, bitch!!" Inu-yasha yelped, and grabbed it out of her hands.

Meg glared at him, little tears coming from her eyes. "But-SPI-DER!!"

"Meg-it's okay-it's dead!" Akkiko said, face to the floor, observing the squished-but still twitching-mass of "spider". "Oh, wait-no it's not. And it's not a spider, either."

"What?" Kagome kneeled next to her. Her face turned to shock. "Oh no-it's Myoga!!"

:::five minutes later:::

"Sorry about that," Kat said, sweatdropping at the little flea that was now drinking tea from an impossibly tiny teacup in front of Kaede's fire. "Meg really, uh, really doesn't like spiders."

"I can see that," the flea said, glaring.

Miroku coughed to hide a laugh. "If this is how Meg reacts to a flea she mistook to be a spider, I will hate to see how she reacts to Naraku."

"Naraku?" chorused Kat and Akkiko.

"That demon-person-thing who's given you all the grief?" Akkiko asked.

"What's that got to do with Meg's fear of spiders?" Kat blinked.

"Normally Naraku looks like a normal man, but sometimes he becomes a huge spider." Miroku sipped his tea calmly. Meg went pale.

Inu-yasha grinned. "Oh, yes. A very big, very hairy, very disgusting spider."

Akkiko and Kat looked at each other as Meg began to shake. "Well, when we run into him, Meg'll probably just squish him with her frying pan," Kat laughed.

"Or attempt to do so," Akkiko said, sipping her tea.

"What frying pan?" Kagome, Miroku and Sango said in unison.

Meg suddenly stood up, reached behind her, and brought a frying pan seemingly out of no-where. She brought it down on Inu-yasha's head.

"That frying pan," Akkiko and Kat said in unison.

Meg put the frying pan away. "That's for scaring me, stupid hanyou."

Inu-yasha glared, rubbing the goose-egg on his head. "Bloody wench. I wasn't lying."

Meg's face went pale. She opened her mouth.

"Incoming," Kat and Akkiko said. In practiced movements, everyone except Kaede, Myoga and Kirara put their fingers in their ears.

"EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"

:::five minutes later:::

Kaede was still nursing her hurt ear.

"Testing, Kaede, testing. Can you hear me?"

"Eh? Are ye saying something, Kat child?"

Kat sighed. "Kaede's still deaf. What about Myoga?"

Meg was crouched down beside the flea. "Mister Flea-Person? Can you hear me? Hello?"

Myoga squinted at her. "Meg, your mouth is moving, but I can't hear anything coming from it. AUGH!! I can't even hear my own voice!! Oh my Gods, there's a silencing charm on this place!!" He started running around in circles.

Inu-yasha sighed, and walked up to the distraught insect. -Squish-

---

"You didn't have to squish him, Inu-yasha," Kagome scolded as she helped Kaede and the girls prepare dinner.

"You know some other way to shut him up?" Inu-yasha was laid out on the ground.

"Master Inu-yasha, that is so rude! Have I not loyally served you?" Myoga cried.

"Oh, yeah, Myoga, you've been really helpful-turning tail at the first sign of danger!" Inu-yasha snapped.

"And what, you turn tail at the first sign of work?" Meg said sarcastically. "You could help, ya know!"

Inu-yasha stuck his tongue out at her. "That's woman's work."

"Inu-yasha . . ." Kagome said slowly. Inu-yasha paled. He knew that voice; it was Kagome's `Be-nice-or-you've-got-an-OSUWARI-coming-your-way-buster' voice.

"Sorry, Meg," he said quickly.

"Whatever."

---

Later that evening, after dinner had been finished and cleaned up, Kat had a sudden realization.

"AUGH!! We have school tomorrow!!"

Meg yawned. "Kat. It's only Saturday night."

Kat relaxed. "Oh. Never mind." She sat back down and opened her book.

Everyone blinked. Akkiko shrugged.

"Kat's obsessed with school."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!

"Are too!"

"Am not!

"Am not!

"Are too!"

"See, I told you."

". . . . . . . . . . . ARGH!!"

(A/N: Something along those lines actually happened -.-;;)

---

:::next day, Sunday:::

The next morning passed without incident, but everyone should have known the peace wouldn't last. Sure enough, by lunchtime . . .

"Get back here you little brat!"

"I got it first!"

"I dibbsed that fish!"

"Meg! He's being mean to me!"

Lunch consisted of fish from the river. Inu-yasha and Shippo both wanted the last one. They had reached for it at the same time, Shippo getting it first, and Inu-yasha falling face-first into the dirt, hand clasping around fish-less air.

Utter chaos.

"Inu-yasha, leave my little brother alone!"

"Back off bitch!"

That was when the frying pan came out . . .

"Meg! Put the frying pan away!!"

"Akkiko! Go for the legs!!"

"Let go of me!!"

Kagome thought it was definitely time to go home.

"Hey, guys, it's getting kinda late . . ."

"Inu-yasha, don't think you can escape by climbing that tree!"

"Get it away from me!"

"You little jerk! I am not an `it'!!"

"Meg, chill out!"

"Get the frying pan!!"

Yep, definitely time to go home.

---

"Meg, I'm going to hurt you . . ."

"Sorry, Akkiko."

"`Sorry'?! You poked me in the eye with your frying pan handle and all you can say is `sorry'?!"

They were emerging from the well, having left behind: a certain hanyou in a tree; a demon exterminator, fox demon and monk trying to coax him down; a priestess and flea demon shaking their heads at the nonsense; and several disturbed villagers.

"Well, I think you guys have had your fill of Feudal-Era Japan for the week," Kagome said, sweatdropping as Akkiko continued to grouse.

Kat sighed. "And to think we can't go back until next Saturday."

"Well," Meg said, rolling her eyes. "We could go back earlier, if some people in our group weren't obsessed with going to school and being model students."

"Shut up."

"I don't want to."

"Spider."

"ACK!!"

Suddenly Akkiko's cell phone rang. Kagome sweatdropped.

"Why do you have a `James Bond' theme song ring?" she asked.

"Leave me alone!" Akkiko said and yanked her cell phone from her pocket. Meg and Kat groaned.

"What is it?" Kagome asked.

"You'll see," was all they said.

"Hello? Drakie!! How are you, koi?" Akkiko asked, grinning and acting bubbly (scary random character change). "I'm doing fine . . . Oops, other line going, call you back hon!" she said and clicked a button. Meg slapped her forehead. "Hello? Oh hey! How's it going Riku? That's good-Oh, other line going, call you back love!" she said again and clicked another button.

"Akkiko! For godssake you're on the other side of the world!! Can't these guys live without you for a few months?!" Kat demanded.

Akkiko winced. "Er, actually, this one's for you. It's Dain."

Kat blinked, took the phone, and said slowly, "Dain?"

"HEY KATHY! How's life going for you? Listen, I have some bad news, those three girls you switched with-"

"THEY'RE DRIVING US INSANE IS WHAT!!" another voice shrieked. Kat had to hold the phone a meter away from her ear.

"Ouch, they're what Rita?" she asked Akkiko's sister.

"DRIVING US MAD IS WHAT!!" yet another voice shrieked.

"Ow, Jesus!" Kat muttered rubbing her ear. Meg grabbed the phone.

"How bad can it be bro?" she asked the owner of the third voice, her brother Koubuku.

He sighed. "Bad."

"Oh, by the way, they're coming back," Dain said, coming back on.

Silence.

"WHAT?????"

# # #

Dun dun DUNNN!!! Okee, next chapter: Eri, Yuka and Arimi return!! The horror!!

Akkiko: Aaaand . . . what's going to happen to us? We can't leave yet!

Kat: That . . . is a secret. BWAHAHAHA!!

Meg: No it isn't. You told us weeks ago.

Kat: Then it's a secret for them! ::points at readers::

Akkiko: Oh . . . so you don't want it getting out that Eri, Arimi and Yuka are coming back, and we're going to-mff!!!

Kat: ::hand over Akkiko's mouth:: Don't give it away!!

---

Anyways, Kiki here again! Sorry it's been so long . . . but these two have been threatening me to update-

Meg: Hiya!

Akkiko: Evil child . . .

-So I am forced to write humorous, albeit slightly short chapters. So, next chapter the girls return, and maybe I'll introduce the bad guy!

Naraku: Heh-heh.

Sesshomaru: When do I come in?

Kouga: Hey, don't forget about me!!

Houjo: Why was I just in one scene?

Myouga: You'd better let me have more appearances!!

Joey: Yeah, me too!

Kiki: Joey? You're not in Inu-yasha, dumb-ass!!

Joey: Oops.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu-yasha, dammit. If I did Kikyo wouldn't exist!

Kikyo: And when am I coming in?

Kiki: You aren't, dammit!! Oh, wait ::checks script:: Yes you are . . . dang.