InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ On the Road to Dealing ❯ Two Paths Converge ( Chapter 3 )

Two Paths Converge

 

Disclaimer: The characters of InuYasha are not mine; they are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. The following story is for entertainment and not profit.

 

 

“He did love you, you know.” The aged priestess whispered to the grieving woman beside her.

“He did,” she answered after a pause, “but he was `in love' with her.”

The two women stood in silence for a time listening to the funeral fire crackling as it consumed the peaceful bodies within it. Kagome was oblivious to the warmth that surrounded her; she just felt numb. The pain of being in love with someone who would never return the feeling was being replaced by a greater pain. He had told her that he had finally made a decision, but something inevitably interrupted them before he could reveal it; and then, she had found them together under `their' tree. Nobody knew how it had happened, only that they had died together.

“Please make sure that the others know that…I'll never forget them.” Kagome ended the silence. Without waiting for a response, she left for the well, leaving Kaede to oversee the remainder of the burial plans. She felt like running from the crushing weight of memories that seemed to come from everywhere. She knew home wouldn't be much better, but at least she would have the comfort of her mother.

****

Kagome clenched her jaw as she fought back the tears that threatened to come. It had been a long time since she had dreamed of Inu Yasha's death. She didn't like to think about it, or the dark, numbing place it always seemed to bring her.

Blinking her eyes open, she felt a pleasing warmth flood her. She found herself relaxing as a sudden smile overtook her. He really was here, five hundred years later, but then she should have known. He had always been timeless; flawless; pristine. He had always seemed untouchable to her because of his perfection, but now, in the light of morning, with his hair strewn across the pillows and his long limbs tangled in the sheets, the Great Lord Sesshomaru seemed almost human. `No, not human,' she corrected herself, `vulnerable, fragile, or even unguarded, but not human; never human.'

****

“Your father was weak!” The words were spat at him with venom. “'She' made him that way; that human whore he dared to bed. They both got what they deserved.”

His mother's new lover had offered to complete his training, something Sesshomaru knew he should have been thankful for, but ever lesson began with a degradation of his father's memory. At first he had lashed out without thinking, the pain of his father's death still too fresh, but his mother had berated him for his rash actions claiming that no son of hers would dare to be so disrespectful as to attack the one person that had been willing to overlook the taint that the birth of a hanyou had brought to their family and take them in. No one ever seemed to take into account that `she' had been a princess of nearly equal station. She was human and that made her less suitable than even the lowest ranked demon.

“Your father was weak and it appears he has passed that on to his offspring, but I will soon fix that!”

His mother seemed to surround herself with those that detested her late husband. It wasn't long before the constant verbal barrage against the great demon he had admired took its toll. He couldn't say exactly when his feelings had changed, it had happened so gradually, but the effect had not been subtle; Sesshomaru hated his father for what he had done, he hated the half-breed that had ruined his perfect life, and most of all he hated human females and the weakness their existence seemed to cause.

****

He felt shaken as he always did when he remembered how easily his emotions had been manipulated then. It had weighed heavily on him when he had realized it, but the hatred had become so ingrained that he could no longer find the love he had once felt for his father. It created a dissonance in him that he could not resolve until he had vowed never to feel anything again.

It had worked with only moderate success, his loathing for his father's bastard had become too great to be buried and ignored. His hatred of human females eventually became something more akin to apathy, until he had met `her.' She had opened a door that he had never been able to close.

Sesshomaru felt someone brushing the loose strands of hair from his face and let his eyes flutter open. The smile that greeted him was still sad, the eyes still haunted. He found himself entranced by the melancholy stare that searched him for something.

“How long have you been awake?” He asked reaching forward to return the favour and brush a dark tress from her cheek.

Kagome shrugged as she watched his hand retreat to where it had been resting. She suddenly remembered how he had touched her the night before and found herself overcome by a rush of heat. Sesshomaru's eyes widened as his nostrils filled with the scent that had attracted him so strongly at the bar.

“How long are you going to grieve for him?” His question caught her off guard.

“It's not him that I grieve for,” she answered after a heavy pause, “it's for the person I thought I was.” He saw the pain in her eyes grow as she spoke and when she looked away he knew that she was hiding something. He waited silently for her to become uncomfortable under his stare and continue.

“I was the one who found them, wrapped in each other's arms, beneath our tree...” her jaw clenched as she remembered the sight, “...their tree.” She felt a tear slip down her cheek, the same as it had done when she had overheard Inu Yasha's decision to leave her for Kikyo. She still wasn't sure where the bow had come from or how it had gotten into her hands, but she would never forget the sight of the glowing arrow as it flew towards its mark.

“I killed them, you know.” Her heart skipped as she realized the horrible secret she had let escape. Kagome searched the man laying in front of her for any sign of hatred of rejection at her confession.

Sesshomaru had always wondered how the hanyou had met his end, but he would never have guessed that she answer would be so surprising. He watched the woman that he had dismissed so many times before for any hint of pride or joy at what she had done, but found only pain; the same pain that had been haunting her all along. Now he was beginning to understand.

He had tried for years to kill his brother, the child that had caused his father to die a disgrace, and blamed his failures on an inherited weakness for humans. It had caused him to fight harder to prove his strength, only to continue to fall short. Sorting through everything he knew of her, he found the major difference that had given her strength where his consistently failed; she was not afraid to fell!

“You loved him.” He hadn't meant it as an accusation, but he watched the long buried pain threaten to consume her.

“I killed them because I was jealous.”

“No.” He stated strongly taking her head in his hand. “You could see what they could not. There was no place for them in that world. They would never be able to find happiness, especially if they were together.” It took a few long moments, but he eventually saw his words break through the self-hatred she had been fostering in secret. “You loved him. You wanted him to be happy and dying together, by an outside hand, was the only way either of them was going to find peace. You did what no one else could do; you made them happy because you loved him. It gave you strength.”

She fell into his arms, recognizing the truth in his words. She had loved Inu Yasha and knew that he would never be able to escape the discrimination that had followed him since his birth. Sesshomaru held her carefully, as if she would break, as her body shook with sobs of relief. She clung to him in desperate need of something he wasn't sure he had.

“Thank you,” she mumbled into his chest as the sobs subsided, “how can I ever repay you?”

Gripping her shoulders firmly, he lifted the woman who thought she needed him, “Help me to be as strong as you.” She stared at him in shock. She had always thought of him as the strong one, but at that moment she saw what she had only glimpsed while he had slept; he was vulnerable.

“Teach me to love.”