InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ One Can Only Wander For So Long ❯ Unwanted Solitude ( Chapter 1 )

Revisions! Details added, wording changed, plot remains the same.

 

Disclaimer - Of course, I don't own Inuyasha.

 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

 

One Can Only Wander for So Long

 

By Alesyira

 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

 

Chapter One - Unwanted Solitude

 

...One can only wander for so long. How long had it been since he had last had a friend?

 

Someone to talk to him...

 

Someone to worry about him...

 

Wandering the woods, living off the land like he had as a hanyou, but... life was so different now. A soft rustle from the bushes sounded as branches were nosed out of the way to provide a clear spot to gaze through.

 

Looking out past the foliage to the empty field beyond, he focused on his keen sense of smell. The sweet aroma of morning dew filled his senses and he padded silently over the soft grass. His excellent hearing could detect the gentle splashes of a creek a bit away, the faint scent of wildflowers and mist drifting across his nose from the northwest.

 

Hunger guided him as he quietly stalked the edge of the clearing, keeping alert to any stirring creatures. Across the field, a lone rabbit, cautiously emerging from its den, caught his attention. It poked its head out from the base of a hollow tree, its little nose wiggling as it sniffed the area around it warily, before scurrying to the edge of the field to nibble on the fresh morning greens.

 

As his eyes followed the rabbit's movements, his lips curled in a half smirk, showing off his sharp canines. It was at least 20 meters away, content in munching peacefully, oblivious to its impending doom. He crouched to spring at his target - amused at the ease in catching this morning's meal - and in one bound leapt across the field to snatch the small gray animal in his jaws. A quick shake killed his prey, and he turned back to the woods to eat under cover.

 

Every time he hunted, it reminded him of his fate. Before his curse so long ago... `How long HAD it been?' He figured it must have been around a few decades. His memories of a normal life, as a hanyou, were fading. He didn't have anyone to yell at... no one to share his pain, to ease his loneliness, or even, to cheer him up and keep him occupied. He would never expect anyone to want to have his company; he was, after all, just a dog now.

 

He could remember the one woman wanting his company a long time ago, but he had always known she was evil and couldn't be trusted. He had tried to avoid her, but when she wouldn't relent, he had to resort to flat-out refusing her attentions. He despised this woman... She was the one to make him like this. A four-legged fur-ball, cursed with some sort of crazy bad luck that seemed to draw youkai to anyone that he enjoyed company with - ending in their untimely and most usually gruesome deaths.

 

He finished his breakfast quickly, and walked towards the creek he had sensed while hunting. He let out a long sigh as he trudged along, bored, with nothing to do but live. He shook his head at the irony of the situation. He was still doing what he had always done as a hanyou, just, no choice to do something... anything... new.

 

He arrived at the spring and flopped down on the bank, poking his nose over the edge of the grass to peer at his reflection in the water. He blinked once, gazing into his own golden eyes, then he glanced up at his ears as they twitched in dismay. He looked back at his face - the bitch left him with a nice fat reminder of where he started.

 

He was the only one able to see his true reflection - that of a hanyou. Dogs couldn't frown, but his reflection could... He closed his eyes, trying to remember what it was like to have hands, to be able to sleep in trees, to be able to destroy his enemies with one blow from his sharp claws... He couldn't even wear his old fire-rat fur anymore.

 

`Stupid fur, I've got my own, attached to me now. But I can't ever take it off and enjoy a swim... The things I took for granted...' He snorted. He looked again at his reflection and sniffed. He lifted his head to open his mouth in a huge yawn. `This is too boring. I need to find something else to do. I bet normal dogs don't contemplate on staying busy in their free time. She just HAD to leave me with my thoughts, didn't she?'

 

The familiar clink of beads brought his daydreams back to the living nightmare at hand. He stared angrily at the rosary that was his only adornment. He couldn't get it off no matter what he had tried over the years - even with his brother's assistance, no one could be found that could lift the curse from him. The necklace had been placed around his neck when the curse was cast upon him, and he had a feeling that the necklace was the key to regaining his ... partial ... humanity.

 

He wanted to grumble, but all he was allowed was a whine that ended up sounding pretty pitiful. `All this time to reflect is getting old. I can't even remember most of my old life...' His thoughts wandered for a while before he stood, stretched, and then leapt into the creek.

 

The cold of night still clung to the water, but Inuyasha used the chill to take his mind off his musings. He paddled around for a while, then climbed out to shake out his fur from head to toe. He climbed onto a sun-baked stone nearby to warm himself, and he found his thoughts centering on the last human he had met.

 

It had already been two years since the man's death. He had lived nearby in the forest, retired for some time, comfortably settled in a nice cabin away from the bustle of the city. A dirt road connected his home with the rarely traveled highway a few miles away, allowing the man access to modern conveniences he might have desired. The guy was really roughing it most of the time, though; he would hunt for his meat, chop the wood that heated his home, and live in complete solitude with only thoughts of peace and relaxation. He whiled away his years doing things only retired men find the time to do, reading, writing, and carving wood on his front porch.

 

The man had lived there less than a month before Inuyasha wandered into the territory. Because of his curse, he traveled to a new place every few years, usually because youkai seemed to be drawn to his presence - killing anyone who came close to him. He figured out after a while that it was another frustrating part of his curse - to be responsible (through his obvious years of bad luck) for the deaths of innocents that he befriended or cared about.

 

It was by accident that Inuyasha stumbled upon the old man, but thinking better of it, he turned away and leapt out of sight, deciding to not bother with human contact again. He found a comfortable den across the forest though, and figured this would be a nice place to relax for a while.

 

His curiosity got the better of him eventually, though, and he ended up sneaking quick peeks at what the old guy was up to. It wasn't long before the smaller youkai - it always started small - began causing the old man troubles. But this guy - Jiji, as Inuyasha began to `call' him - could hold his own rather well. Inuyasha occasionally would prey upon the weak youkai that he could catch before they got to Jiji - using them to amuse himself with the occasional bloodshed.

 

Jiji proved to be a tough opponent for a long time, and managed to do quite well fending for himself with just his rifle and his wits. Inuyasha figured the curse was toying with both of them - taking its time to send a strong-enough youkai to take the human out.

 

He protected his home like any demon Inuyasha had known. He was quite impressed with the human's fervor, and Inuyasha would occasionally sneak around in the woods, keeping an eye on the old man to see what would happen next. Inuyasha had begun to find amusement in watching the feeble-looking old man take down any youkai that crossed him. With several well-aimed shots, they would never even get the chance to attack. It was a dangerous game of cat and mouse, but the hunter always ended up being the hunted when it came to Jiji.

 

One autumn afternoon, the air thick with the chill of approaching winter, Jiji had prepared to go out and hunt for deer in the woods. Wrapping in a camouflaged thermal coat and a mountaineer's hat, he left his cabin, rifle in hand. Inuyasha had been lounging on the man's roof, monitoring the sounds of a feline youkai prowling the woods nearby. She had picked up the scent of the old man, and seemed to be waiting for him to leave his home before she attacked.

 

Inuyasha watched as she leapt high into a tree to stalk her prey. He rolled his eyes at her actions - she was far too obvious for Jiji, for he seemed to know when the demons were out to play. Jiji walked out of Inuyasha's line of sight, and he sighed as he leapt from the rooftop to follow Jiji from a distance.

 

Jiji caught sight of a deer, and he moved into a shooter's stance, keeping his eyes on the target. The feline youkai watched Jiji focusing on his target and waited until he had fired at the deer before springing at him. The man was caught a bit unawares, but quickly recovered from her pounce by deftly rolling with it and kicking her off. His rifle swung around and took off the youkai's head before she had a chance to strike again. The old man shot the youkai once more for good measure, then went on to collect his deer like nothing had happened.

 

Back and forth, for almost two years, the old man would live his life, not a care in the world, and about every week he'd have to shoot another youkai. After all this time - Inuyasha was seriously getting bored, the routine never really changed. He wasn't hoping the old man would die, he was just looking for something more interesting. Every once in a while he had the desire to go meet the man in person, but he thought the better of it, not wanting to be the reason that an unbeatable youkai took the old guy's life. He wasn't sure how the curse worked, for sure, but it seemed that anyone he got close to, personally, would no doubt die within a few weeks of their acquaintance. Inuyasha figured the fact that this guy was still breathing was because they weren't friends.

 

But, one night, late in winter, the old man had decided to go out for a few extra pieces of firewood from his lean-to and neglected to bring his rifle along. Inuyasha wasn't around watching that evening; he had gone back to his den to take a nap while it snowed. As interesting as the old man was, he wasn't about to sit around freezing in the snow waiting for something new to happen.

 

The next morning, when Inuyasha went to see what Jiji was up to, he discovered Jiji had vanished, leaving behind a small frozen blood stain and a bunch of disturbed snow near the wood pile. Inuyasha's spirits fell - it seemed perhaps he had assumed wrong about the curse.

 

Perhaps it didn't matter whether he was friends with someone or just watching them - anyone he got close to died. Even if he was just a bored dog finding entertainment in the `adventures of humans'... He nosed around in now-empty cabin for a while out of curiosity. The old man didn't have much for possessions, but the few things around the home were interesting and new to Inuyasha, for he had been cursed as an animal so long. Technology was advancing, and he was being left behind.

 

Before he left, he managed to pull the door shut behind him to keep out the animals of the forest and hopped off the porch. Taking one last look back at the quiet scene, he grumbled and loped away, deciding to go back to his den for some more sleep.

 

The mid-morning sunshine was bright as Inuyasha cracked open an eye. He cleared his mind of the old memories and stretched again on the warm rock. The breeze ruffled the fur on his back, and he rolled onto his side to let his underside dry as well. A sigh left him as he settled more comfortably in his position, his eyes slipping shut in boredom.

 

All he had to do nowadays was sleep and eat... and it was getting boring. `Maybe I should go find someplace new to live - I've been here long enough...' It was depressing to know that he didn't, and wouldn't, have anyone to keep him company. He longed for it - and his will to live was diminishing as his decades of loneliness consumed him.

 

Inuyasha knew he would have a long life ahead of him, for the youkai blood that flowed through his veins kept him healthy and young. Half of his years had been spent as in this cursed dog form, and at his age his instincts were screaming to settle down and start a family. His claws dug into the rock surface as his angry thoughts swirled in his head - he refused to act like a dog and take a canine as a partner.

 

His older brother held the title of lord in the west, and being of such lineage as he was, he could not - would not - lower himself to taking an animal as mate. He had no illusions of ever finding someone that would accept his canine form... He shuddered at the thought of what that would be like.

 

He had started needing to avoid female contact, youkai or human, for the last decade or so, for their presence was tempting to him, even stuck in his dog form. His kind, the inu-youkai, took one partner for life - and he couldn't risk slipping up and doing something stupid like screwing a like-bodied animal just because of his hormones going out of control.

 

The woman who cursed him had tried many ways to break his control over his instincts, but his physical immaturity, as much as he had despised it at that age, had surely saved him from a lifetime of being bound to an evil creature. But her anger at the failed attempts left him cursed in this form... He grumbled. He was pretty sure that being mated to an innocent dog would inherently be a hell of a lot better than being partner to a very creepy woman for the rest of his life...

 

He would just fated to be forever alone. It didn't seem to matter anymore; a partner would be killed by his bad luck, even if it temporarily sated his loneliness. And plus, there was more to a partner than procreation... If he ever found the right one, she'd have to be worth dying for. Maybe then, just maybe, he wouldn't have to fear being lonely ever again.

 

With that last, lonesome thought, he drifted into an uneasy sleep.