InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Outtakes ❯ Dream a Little Dream ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I make any money off of these characters. Something, I'm sure, after reading what follows they are all grateful for. They do belong, however, to Rumiko Takahashi, a condition for which they all rejoice because she? Would never do this to them.

 

A/N: This was originally intended to be part of a longer piece. Parts of it may still be, with a little tweaking. It started out as a serious conversation and then the dog-eared muse decided I was too serious and took it in a direction I would never have expected. It's pretty obvious where it turns.

This is crack!fic and a parody. As such, I feel obligated to give a few warnings. If any of these things squick you in any way, I suggest finding another 'fic to read.

Warning:  Beyond this point is utter crack complete with rampant OOCness, implied yaoi, maybe a little implied yuri, complete disregard for canon, defiance of Earth logic, and mention of a threesome.  Yeah, there's also inucest and mentions of a mangina. Tread carefully. You have been warned.

 

Outtakes: Dream a Little Dream

 

Kagome watched as Sango made her way up the path back toward camp and settled back against a handy rock. She sighed contentedly as the warm water relaxed her completely. Closing her eyes, the image of Inuyasha standing beside her with his head cocked to one side and tongue hanging out sprang to mind, causing her to laugh out loud. A growl from across the spring cut her off abruptly.

Kagome looked around wildly, trying to both find what was stalking her and search for the tell-tale red of her protector. Drawing breath to scream his name, she stopped and let it out in an exasperated "whoosh" when her eyes landed on the source of the terrible noise. Standing at the edge of the spring was Inuyasha, his head lowered slightly and his eyes hidden by his bangs. He looked very tense and Kagome couldn't begin to figure out what his problem was now.

"Inuyasha," she said, annoyed. "What are you doing? I'm trying to bathe." When her comment brought no response from the growling hanyou, she tried a different tack. "I hadn't realized that you shared Miroku's hobbies, Inuyasha," she joked. The growling increased a little in volume. "Will you please stop making that noise?" she asked with an irritated sigh.

The growling stopped, only to be replaced by Inuyasha's angry words. "Why?" he snarled. "Does it remind you of how much of a dog I am? Can't have your little pet threatening you, now can you?"

Kagome blinked at him in confusion. What was this all about? Why would he think something so stupid? "What are you talking about, Inuyasha?"

"I'm talking," he growled, walking slowly to the water's edge, "about you and your stupid dreams and your damned books and the fact that you have lied to me for who knows how long and I. Have. Had. It! All that talk about me being fine just the way I am and you not caring about," his voice turned mocking, "what form I'm in -- It was all a bunch of shit, wasn't it? All I am to you is a pet, an animal that's there for your protection, one that you can punish whenever you like just by saying a word -- this damn -- leash you have around my neck. Does it make you feel good that you can do that, Kagome? Does it?"

Kagome just stood there, her hand to her mouth, through his rant and didn't say a word. She couldn't. She had no idea what was going on or what had set him off like this; and anyway, it didn't seem like he really wanted answers, just to make her hurt.

"I bet you get a big kick out of seeing me eat dirt, don't you?" His voice became higher pitched, a mocking parody of her own, "Let's put the puppy in his place. He deserves it!"

Kagome flinched and blinked back tears. How could he think that?

"I bet you want to do it now, don't you? You want to say that damn word and run away like you always do. Well, why don't you? Go ahead," he roared. "Say it! I know you want to! Slam me into the ground and watch me grovel like the dog you think I am! Put this leash you have to good use! Go on, bitch! Say it!"

She shook her head as tears streamed down her face. Her inaction seemed to deflate his anger a little, and she watched as conflicting emotions chased themselves across his face. His eyes held so much hurt. "All this time -- But you -- And I thought --"

Her hand rose involuntarily, as though to grab hold of his hoari, when he turned away from her. His next words almost broke her heart.

"It doesn't matter anyway. I don't care how you feel about me or even what you think. I'm leaving. My brother and I have discovered a love like no other. He doesn't even care that I may be pregnant with the wolf's pup."

Kagome stared at him, completely flummoxed. Something just didn't make sense here, and the dreamy look that had entered Inuyasha's eyes was really weirding her out. "Wait. I thought your brother hated you. I mean, he does try to kill you on a pretty regular basis."

"Foreplay," he answered matter-of-factly. "It was just his way of showing he cared." He sighed like a schoolgirl finally acknowledged by her crush. "I tell ya, the sex was always absolutely amazing after a good tussle, and the things he can do with that mouth --"

"Okay," Kagome interrupted, desperate to get him to stop before she had mental images that she couldn't bleach out. Then she realized what Inuyasha had said about Kouga. "Hold on a minute. All those times you fought with Kouga?" He looked at her and waited, watching her like a teacher whose student is finally getting it. "All those times -- you weren't fighting because you were afraid he would take me away from you; were you?"

Inuyasha's face turned slightly red, and he looked sheepishly at her. "Well, no. I was just mad that he would sleep with me one minute and then turn and declare his love for you the next. Stupid wolf," he grumbled. He smiled brightly at her. "But he always made it up to me." His face fell and he admitted sadly, "Well, he did -- until he decided that his tribe was more important than me and went off with that Ayame bitch." He sighed despondently and ran a tender hand over his belly. "At least he left me something to remember him by." His expression cleared and he finished firmly, "But none of that matters now. I have found the love of my life, and he doesn't care if the pup's not his! He's willing to raise it like his own!"

Kagome put her hand to her head and tried vainly to sort out how all of this had happened. Nothing was going according to plan; and now, there were glaring problems with the hanyou's reasoning. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Inuyasha was supposed to come here and confront her about her dream, they would fight, the air would be clear, and then they were supposed to shag like bunnies until the sun came up.

Well, the fight went off like it was supposed to -- sort of, but now Inuyasha was declaring his undying love for Sesshomaru and claiming he was pregnant by Kouga! Something just wasn't adding up, and she was going to get to the bottom of it right now. "Inuyasha? How could you possibly be pregnant with Kouga's kid? You're a guy!"

Inuyasha turned and looked at her as though she had just sprouted a pair of dog ears of her own. "Mangina," was all he said.

"Come again. What?" Now Kagome was really confused. What in hell was a 'mangina?'

"I said," he responded calmly, "'mangina'. Don't you know anything, Kagome?" As she continued to stare at him like he had lost his ever loving mind, he sighed and explained, speaking slowly, as if to a young child. "Youkai are magical. Surely you've figured that out by now. Well, when two male youkai come together, the stronger can force the weaker's body to change so that it can accept the stronger youkai's seed and create a pup. We like to call it a mangina. It goes away after the pup's born and doesn't come back until the youkai makes it."

"Oh," Kagome said faintly.

"Yeah," Inuyasha said. "Well, anyway, I should get going. You know how Sesshy gets if things don't go like he wants. Lord of the West and all that. So, I'll see ya around." He walked away, turning once to wave at her just before he disappeared into the forest.

Kagome waved back, her mind in a daze. Shaking her head sharply to clear it, she sighed and went to where she had left her clothes, putting them back on. Setting off back to camp, which was in the opposite direction from the hanyou, she mused, "I wonder if Miroku's still interested in that threesome. I'm pretty sure Sango still has that strap-on somewhere."