InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Paradox: The Power of Letting Go ❯ Return to the Shrine ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: InuYasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and Viz Media.

Story and all original characters created are owned by me.

Return to the Shrine

-x-x-x-x-

Kagome looked at Kazuki, a smile lighting up her face. “That would be nice. Mama would love to meet you. I've told her so much about you and our work over the years.”

The elevator opened then and the pair stepped out in search of breakfast.

-x-x-x-x-

Kagome stood at the top of the shrine steps, frozen in place. She was fine until she reached the top, then all of the years seemed to melt away, and she was twenty years old again, standing there feeling so young and uncertain.

Shrugging off these feelings, Kagome shook her head to clear away the cobwebs. Looking beside her, she felt a wave of relief that Kazuki was too busy perusing the shrine activities to have noticed her moment of indecision.

“Kagome!”

“Mama!” Kagome cried as she rushed to hug the older woman who appeared out of the side building.

“Oh, darling, welcome home. It's been too long,” admonished Nori Higurashi lightly as she looked her daughter over. “You look wonderful, Kagome.”

“So do you, Mama.”

Mama looked over Kagome's shoulder at the young man standing slightly behind her daughter. She raised a questioning look at Kagome who quickly made the introductions.

“Mama, this is Kazuki Matsumoto, my co-worker and very good friend that I've told you about. Kaz, this is my mama, Nori Higurashi.”

Nori smiled brightly and held out her hands. “It's so nice to finally meet you, Kazuki. Kagome's told me so much about you.”

Kazuki winked as he took Nori's hands and kissed one lightly while bowing. “Nice things I hope, Mrs. Higurashi.”

Blushing slightly, Nori smiled. “Of course, and please call me Nori.”

Kazuki grinned at her, showing off his pearly white teeth. “Then please call me Kaz, as I'm known to my family and closest friends.”

“Oh, Kaz, cut it out. Stop flirting with my mama,” Kagome teased.

“Kagome!”

Kagome laughed as she tucked her mother's hand into the crook of her arm and led her towards the house. “Oh, Mama, I'm just teasing.”

Looking around, Kagome noticed quite a few people walking around the shrine and remarked upon it.

“We've never been busier. It seems like more and more people are interested in historical sites and facts. We've gotten quite the following from the younger generation. It's just too bad that Jii-Chan is not around to see this. He would have loved it.” Nori sighed.

Kagome stopped and with downcast eyes exhaled softly, “I'm sorry I'm not around more, Mama.”

Nori squeezed Kagome's hand. “You have a job, a very important job, darling. Don't be sorry about that. Besides, with the increased funding we've received from our corporate sponsors, we have enough money to hire additional help. We've even added some storytelling programs over the weekends.” Nori gestured towards a group of children sitting under the Goshinboku tree listening intently to a young woman dressed in white and red miko clothing.

Kagome stopped at the site of the miko outfit, so reminiscent of the outfit that Kikyo used to wear.

“Mama, do you mind if I go and listen?”

“No, of course not, darling. I have to go up and put some things away at the house. Come in when you're ready. I'll make us a nice pot of tea and then you can tell me what you've been up to. And you are staying for dinner. Both of you.” Smiling, Nori patted Kagome's hand before moving away.

Once she was out of earshot, Kazuki leaned over and whispered in Kagome's ear, “Wow, your mom is cute. Now I know where you get it from.”

Laughing, Kagome swatted at Kazuki's arm. “You are really a lecher, you know that, Kaz?”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

Kagome gave an unladylike snort and headed towards the Goshinboku. She stopped behind the group of children and sat down on the grass, tucking her legs underneath her. Turning to her friend she whispered, “Now behave yourself and listen to the story.”

Kazuki gave a mock salute before he sprawled down beside her, crossed his ankles and leaned back to listen.

“Everyone knows about the Shikon no Tama, but does anyone want to hear the real story?”

As the group collectively raised their hands, the young interpreter smiled and leaned in conspiratorially. “Once upon a time, there was a young girl who lived in a shrine. On her fifteenth birthday, she fell down a well and found herself 500 years earlier in the Feudal era.”

What the… Kagome gave a jerk and leaned in intently, focusing on the girl.

“She was tied up and questioned for her strange clothing and behaviour in the village she stumbled upon. A centipede youkai entered the village seeking the Shikon no Tama. You see, the strange, foreign, time traveling girl was the keeper of the sacred jewel. Do you know where it was hidden?” The interpreter looked around the group and smiling at the wide-eyed children shaking their heads, she continued. “It was in her body.”

A collective gasp went through the crowd.

“The youkai sensed its presence and chased the girl into the forest. There, she stumbled upon a half dog demon that had been spiritually pinned against the Goshinboku for fifty years.”

Leaning back, the girl tapped the tree behind her. “This very tree behind me. See? You can still see where the arrow struck.” She pointed to a dark spot on the tree trunk.

“Does anyone know who this hanyou was?”

“The great inu-hanyou, Inuyasha,” cried a little girl.

Kagome sat frozen. She was in shock at hearing her story being told, yet she was too fascinated to move. Even though she lived it, she wanted to hear how this story would end.

“InuYasha,” Kazuki mumbled under his breath.

Kagome looked sharply at her companion. “You know the story?”

“Well, yes. It's legend. My parents told me how the great hanyou defeated the dark evil named Naraku and in the process took back the sacred jewel,” whispered Kazuki.

“Ahem.” The interpreter glared at them. “Do you two want to hear the story?”

Blushing furiously, Kagome nodded and mumbled, “Sorry.” Kazuki simply gave the girl his fifty watt, bright white smile.

Flustered by the handsome grinning male, the girl smiled brightly and continued, “As he said,” she gestured towards Kazuki, “InuYasha saved the villagers from the evil hanyou, Naraku, but before that, the girl, in her naivety, broke the sacred jewel into a hundred pieces. The shards flew across the land causing destruction and fear. She was guilty of causing pain and suffering by her own stupidity…”

Kagome flinched at the insult to her integrity and steeled herself for the rest of the story.

“It was her responsibility to make things right, so she set out on a journey to repair the damage that she caused. She searched the land for the jewel shards with the hanyou that she had freed. She could sense the shards, and he could fight and protect her. They started out as traveling companions, and they ended up as friends. They met up with a monk, a demon slayer and a kitsune, and together they had many great adventures…”

Kagome closed her eyes as her throat constricted. The interpreter's voice flowed over her as she remembered. She was standing by the Goshinboku, but it was a different time; she was a different girl…

-x-x-x-x-

8 years earlier

“Kagome…” InuYasha held out a hand helplessly.

Kagome looked away, not knowing how to say good-bye. After two years, Naraku was finally defeated. The Shikon no Tama was completed and a wish was made to send Midoriko and the jewel to eternal rest.

She gave InuYasha a bright smile, belying the inner turmoil she was feeling. “InuYasha, thank you for helping me complete the Shikon No Tama and for protecting me all of these years. I… I couldn't have done it without you.”

Kagome bowed formally and gave a gasp as two strong arms engulfed her in a hug. Pressing her check against his red haori, Kagome closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Holding her firmly with one hand pressed against the small of her back, InuYasha stroked her hair with the other. “Keh, stupid wench. Of course, you couldn't have done it without me.” He pulled back slightly as he felt the girl stiffen in his arm. “And I couldn't have done it without you, Kagome.”

The sharp retort died on her lips as she stared at the golden orbs looking deep into her eyes. Instead of the normal sarcastic look she got from the hanyou, he was smiling gently at her, his eyes warm and soft.

Time seemed to stand still as InuYasha slowly lowered his head and caught Kagome's lips in a soft, sweet kiss.

-x-x-x-x-

“In the end they completed the jewel, defeated Naraku and the great hanyou, InuYasha, went down in history.” The miko interpreter finished up the story as the children burst into applause.

“Just like Rudolph,” whispered Kazuki. He grinned as he looked over at Kagome, but the smile quickly vanished when he noticed her ashen face. “Kagome?”

Kagome took a deep breath and looked over at Kazuki, smiling reassuringly before she turned back to the story.

“What happened to the girl?” asked a little boy.

“All those years the hanyou was her protector, her friend, and one day she fell in love with him.”

“What happened then?”

“Well, she let him go.”

“Why?” asked several of the children.

The interpreter shrugged. “You know the saying? If you love someone then you set them free. If they come back then they're yours, and if they don't…”

“Did he come back?” questioned the same little boy.

Kagome paled as the dam broke and tears streamed down her face. “No…”

-x-x-x-x-

Kazuki looked at his friend in concern as he dragged her away from the group after the story was completed. “Kagome, are you all right?”

Kagome sighed and looked out across the shrine. “Yes, I'll be all right…”

Kazuki lifted a finger and gently touched the dried tear tracks on Kagome's cheeks. “All right, hmmm? Well, then what was that all about?”

“It's nothing. I'll be okay.”

“Kagome,” Kazuki scoffed lightly, “it's not nothing. Something's obviously bothering you. You have something bottled up inside of you and it needs to come out.”

Kagome closed her eyes. It pained her to rehash old memories, but she also didn't like to see the glint of worry in her friend's eyes or hear the concern evident in his voice. “It's just being here… It brings back so many memories…”

“Is that why you ran away?”

Kagome glanced sharply at her friend. “I didn't run away,” she stated indignantly. “I got a job offer that I couldn't refuse.”

“And it just so happens that the job offer was half a world away,” Kazuki pointed out.

Kagome tried to lighten the mood. “Hey, I met you, didn't I?”

“Don't try to change the subject, Kags.”

“It's not like that. I didn't run away.”

Kazuki gently tipped Kagome's chin towards him and looked into her eyes. “It's me, remember? I'm your friend — talk to me. Let me in. You've never told me why you disliked coming home so much.” He held up a palm to forestall the defensive response he knew was coming. “Admit it, Kags, you might not have been running away at first, but you sure as hell are running now.”

Kagome didn't answer. A lump welled up in her throat as tears threatened to flow again.

“Kagome?”

“I was in love once…” whispered Kagome.

“And?” prompted Kazuki.

“There once was a girl, just like in that story.” Kagome tried to smile brightly. “She met a boy and she fell in love. She thought he could do anything. He was her world, and she would have done anything for him. She did do everything for him. He... he trusted her, protected her and thought she wouldn't ever break his heart. But they were both so young, so inexperienced, so naïve. They both needed to grow up, and, in the end, she let the boy go…”

“Did he come back?”

Kagome sighed deeply, her voice soft with emotion. “No… no, he didn't.”

“What happened to the girl, Kagome?”

Kagome looked at him brightly, masking her pain behind a fake smile. “She came back, got a job, went to school, and made something of herself. She accepted her fate, and she made a life she could live with.”

“But she never forgot him…”

“No,” she admitted softly, “she never forgot.”

-x-x-x-x-

Five Years Earlier

“What the hell do you mean you're moving away?!” bellowed a very furious and irate hanyou.

“InuYasha, I just explained. I have to go.”

InuYasha clutched Kagome's arms and loosened his grip when he felt her flinch. “Like hell you do! You can't just leave, Kagome!”

“Please stop yelling, InuYasha,” the girl pleaded with tears in her eyes.

“Don't you dare cry on me, wench! You're the one who wants to leave!”

“InuYasha, that's not how it is. I don't want to move…”

“Then don't! Why the hell do you want to go to this Can-a-da for anyways?”

“I told you, InuYasha, they offered me a job. Who else would hire a twenty year old who hasn't finished secondary school yet to work in a research lab with some of the top scientists in the field? I can't turn this down. It's an opportunity of a lifetime.”

InuYasha let go of Kagome and hung his head, his ears pressed down to his skull. His painful expression was partially hidden behind the fall of silver bangs. “Is your job more important than staying here… than me?”

“Kami, no! Of course not! I'm doing this for you…for us. Can't you understand?”

Kagome reached up, brushed back his bangs with one hand and caressed his cheek lovingly with the other. “This will ensure our future, InuYasha. Please understand.”

InuYasha rested his forehead against Kagome's, his breath tickling her face. “Then why can't I go with you?”

“Because… because you just can't…” Kagome swallowed, not daring to meet his eyes.She was scared that he would convince her otherwise and she couldn't take him with her. “What they've asked me to do, it's highly secretive and…and,it's only for two years.You have to stay here.I'll visit as much as I can.” Kagome looked up hopefully.

InuYasha dropped his arms, folded his hands up his sleeves and backed away towards the well house. “It's been three years, Kagome. What happened to our plans? You were going to finish school and then…” InuYasha choked off his words.

Kagome looked at him helplessly. “Plans change, InuYasha.”

“I'm asking one last time, Kagome. Stay… stay here with me,” pleaded the crestfallen hanyou.

“I can't…”

“You won't stay and you won't let me go with you. You expect me to just stay here and wait for you to return, like a dog waiting for scraps?” InuYasha replied hotly. “Well, I can't do it. I can't just stay here and wait for you.”InuYasha turned his back to her and faced the well, his spine iron rod straight.

Without turning around, he tried one last time. “You won't change your mind?”

Kagome looked at him beseechedly. “InuYasha, please don't do this…”

“You give me no choice, Kagome…good-bye…” InuYasha hopped up onto the well and paused for a moment, hoping against all hope that Kagome would plead for him to stay.

Kagome groaned wretchedly as she sank down to her knees. “InuYasha, please…”

InuYasha closed his eyes. He didn't mean to give her an ultimatum, but once the words were out of his mouth, he couldn't take it back. When she picked her new job over him, he felt like a hot, sharp sword pierced his heart. He had to leave before tears threatened to engulf him and he would break down. If he stayed much longer, he would end up on his hands and knees, begging her to stay. He felt his pride well up inside of him. He would not beg her to stay. She had made her choice. He jumped.

As Kagome watched, InuYasha disappeared down the well. It felt like her heart was brokeninto splinters and scattered to the winds. Giving into her emotions, she buried her face into her hands and cried.

-x-x-x-x-

It was late afternoon when Kagome and Kazuki went into the house. After their talk, Kagome gave Kazuki a tour of the shrine, giving him bits of history that she remembered from Jii-Chan's stories. She avoided the well house and if Kazuki noticed the omission, he didn't say anything. Nori was in the kitchen preparing dinner and just waved Kagome off when she started to put on an apron and stepped in to help.

The phone rang just then and Kagome spent the next twenty minutes talking to her little brother. Sota had called apologizing profusely that he was not there to see his sister. He had been invited out with his girlfriend's family for the weekend and would not be back until Monday. Kagome simply laughed off his apologies and teased him about not being high on his priority list. Before she hung up, she promised Sota that she would stop by the shrine again, before she went back to Canada, so that they could visit.

Kazuki smiled as he heard the loving tone in Kagome's voice as she spoke with her little brother. A soft expression came over her face as she hung up the phone and turned towards her friend. “They grow up so fast. It seems like yesterday that Sota was eleven years old and following me around everywhere. Now, he's a young man with a girlfriend. Where did the years go?”

“Damn, Kagome, you sound like an old maid. You're only twenty-five, you know,” Kazuki teased.

“But sometimes I feel older.” A pained expression crossed Kagome's face.

“Hey, no more bad memories, okay?” Kazuki steered Kagome into the kitchen as smells of cooking wafted into the living room. “I'm starving and what your mother is cooking smells absolutely delicious!”

Dinner was uneventful as the trio talked and laughed. Nori regaled stories of Kagome when she was younger, making Kagome blush at her childhood antics. Kazuki noticed that while most of the stories were when Kagome was quite young, the years between when she was fifteen and seventeen were noticeably absent. He made a mental note to ask Kagome about that later. Perhaps, like all teenagers, she went through a phase that they didn't like to talk about. Kagome and Kazuki filled Nori in about their research, leaving out the more secretive components.

During the course of dinner, Kagome kept giving her mother glances as if she wanted to ask her something. Nori finally had enough and put down her chopsticks. “Kagome, just ask me.”

“What, Mama?” Kagome asked innocently.

Kazuki figured he had enough too and put in his two cents worth. “Just spit it out, Kags. You've been dying to say something all night. Obviously I'm not the only one who noticed. Out with it.”

Kagome fidgeted with her napkin. “I was wondering if you've seen him lately.”

Nori sighed as she looked at her daughter. “Kagome, in all the years you've never asked about him. Why now?”

“I don't know. I just…”

“She can't let go,” Kazuki chimed in. “She needs to face her past before she can get on with her future.”

Kagome glared at her friend “Thanks for the advice, doctor, but this doesn't concern you.”

Nori put her hand on top of Kagome's. “Darling, I haven't seen him for over three years. I'm not even sure if he can come through anymore.”

“Oh…” Kagome never considered that the well may have sealed, and the thought made her panic. She pushed her chair back abruptly and started out of the room.

“Where are you going, Kagome?”

“I need to check it, to make sure.”

“Kagome…”

“Kags, where are you going?”

Kagome stopped. Even after confiding in Kazuki over the years, she had never told him about the well and her time travels. There were just some things that she couldn't re-live with anyone and this was one of them. She sat back at the table. “Do you think that's why he's never…” Kagome looked forlornly at her mother, looking for reassurance.

“Kagome,” Nori said gently, “I thought… Oh dear, I thought you were the one who ended things. Didn't you?”

Kagome laid her head down on her arms and mumbled a reply, “Oh, Mama, I'm just the one who messed things up.”

She kept her head down as she heard Kazuki thank her mama for dinner and quietly left the kitchen, leaving the two women alone.

“Kagome, do you want to talk about it?”

Black tresses hid her face as Kagome wailed, “It's been over five years! Why can't I just let the past go? I don't date, and when I meet a man all I can do is compare him to him. He was rude, uncouth and rough around the edges. So, why can't any man I meet measure up to him? Look at Kaz! He's great looking, smart, has a great career, loyal, dedicated, ready to settle down, but…”

“But you don't love him. You love InuYasha. That's why you can't let go, darling,” Nori said gently. “We don't pick who we love, dear, our heart does.”

“But if he loved me, he wouldn't have left me!” wailed Kagome.

“I thought you left him?”

“No, I mean, I did.” Kagome grabbed her head. “Oh, it's all so confusing. I left but that's because I had to accept this job, Mama. It would have secured our future together. I was working towards that happening, and then we could have been together without worry.”

“Did you ever explain that to him?”

Kagome looked up, her face earnest. “I tried Mama, but you know how he is. He was so stubborn. He wouldn't listen to anything I said. He just left. He wouldn't give us a chance!” Kagome was starting to get mad. “He's so stubborn and pigheaded!”

“Kagome, there's something you should know.”

At the questioning look from her daughter, Nori explained, “About a week after you moved, InuYasha came by — ”

“What! He came back? What did he want? Did you talk to him? Why didn't you tell me!” Kagome rushed out in one breath.

“Whoa,” laughed Nori. “One question at a time. Yes, he came by looking for you. When I told him you had already moved, he panicked, but I told him you were okay and managed to calm him down. He asked me about your new job. I told him what I knew which wasn't much. Before he left he asked me not to mention his visit to you.”

“Did he say why he came?”

“I asked but he just said that he wanted make sure you were okay. He came back every now and then, always asking about you.”

“Oh, why didn't you tell me!” cried Kagome, thinking of all the years lost.

“I didn't say anything because InuYasha asked me not to. I wanted to tell you, but Jii-Chan told me to respect InuYasha's wishes and not to interfere. And, ” Nori looked lovingly at her daughter, “it was something Jii-Chan had said. He said that there was a reason that you were born with the Shikon no Tama in you — that you had a destiny to fulfill. He said that it was up to you to make your own choices, to carve your own path, and it was not up to us to interfere with fate.”

Kagome sat in silence, digesting what her mama said.

“I was just really angry then,” Kagome said in a small voice. “He wanted to come with me, and I said no. He begged me to stay, and I said no. Then he got mad and left, and I got mad and moved.”

“Sometimes the worst arguments are a case of miscommunication, and we let our pride get in the way.”

“You said you haven't seen him in over three years. Maybe he forgot about me,” Kagome said dejectedly.

“I'm sure he didn't forget you, Kagome.” Nori looked away thoughtfully. “The last time he came by was after…” Her eyes widened and she gave a gasp.

“What is it, Mama?”

“You had just called. You were telling me about Kazuki, raving about some project succeeding that you two had just completed.” Nori remembered and sighed. “You had just extended your work contract too. When I told InuYasha that you were staying in Canada, he got really upset.”

“Oh…”

“There's something else. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but he asked about your friends and co-workers in Canada. He was particularly interested in Kazuki. He must have heard me talking to Jii-Chan about him. He seemed unhappy about how close you were getting to him.”

“You told him that he was just my friend right, Mama?” Kagome asked worriedly.

“Yes, of course, but since that time, I haven't seen him around, but,” Nori noticed the distressed look on Kagome's face, “that doesn't mean he didn't come by. Perhaps Sota has seen him. You should ask your brother.”

“It doesn't matter.” Kagome buried her face in her hands again. “I know why he was so upset. The last time I talked to him I had said that my job contract was for only two years and then I would be home, but I didn't come back. He must think that I abandoned him. He must hate me!”

“Do you hate him?”

“Of course not!”

“Then I'm sure he doesn't hate you either,” soothed Nori.

“It's been five years, and he hasn't been back… It's too late now...”

“Kagome, it's never too late.”

“But —”

“Do you still love him, Kagome?”

“I've never stopped.”

“Then it's never too late.”

“Do you really think we can still work things out?” Kagome looked up hopefully.

“I'm sure you can, dear.”

“Oh, Mama, thank you!” Kagome jumped up and hugged her mother. “I can go through the well tonight. He'll…”

“Um, Kagome, what about Kazuki? Wouldn't he notice if you suddenly disappeared?”

“Oh, right…” Kagome's enthusiasm deflated. “I also have to be at the Takahashi building tomorrow for a meeting. Damn.”

“Kagome!” exclaimed Nori, shocked at her daughter's language.

“Sorry, Mama. Blame Kazuki for that one.” Kagome smiled, feeling much better now that she knew what she had to do. “Speaking of which, I should go see where he is.”

Kagome helped her mother clean up the dishes before hugging her and leaving the kitchen. After checking to make sure Kazuki wasn't in the house, she went outside to find him.

“Kaz!” Kagome called. When he didn't answer, she frowned and headed towards the Goshinboku.

As she approached the tree, she saw a flash of silver and her heart froze. “InuYasha,” she whispered.