InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Paradox: The Power of Letting Go ❯ Feudal Memories ( Chapter 8 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

�Do you love the man he has become or are you still in love with the memory of the boy he was?�

Kagome contemplates her feelings about InuYasha, and she finds out about old friends.

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.28.2008 | Updated On: 12.23.2008 | Pages: 10 | Words: 14.1K | Visits: 1.7K | Status: Completed

Disclaimer: InuYasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan Inc. and Viz Media.

Story and all original characters created are owned by me.

Feudal Memories

-x-x-x-x-

The real reason Sesshomaru wanted to see Kagome was to make sure that she was all right. He breathed a sigh of relief as she left the meeting. She didn't seem at all tense. She was quick to laugh and was relatively at ease. He knew that she had gone to seen Yash earlier. At least the baka did something right, he thought as he watched the young woman enter the elevator.

-x-x-x-x-

Sesshomaru knew that the allotted two months he gave them to compete this project was unreasonable. He knew that, but it didn't mean that he still didn't expect results, fast. He realized that he put Kagome and Kazuki at a disadvantage by taking away their own science team from Canada, people they had closely worked with for years. However, he also knew that with everything else, a fresh, new, objective viewpoint was needed. He was hoping that Sakura and Fuji could provide that.

He wanted his newest team to mesh as soon as possible. Therefore, he ordered them all to move into close proximity to one another. Kagome and Sakura received a corner apartment overlooking the river, with Kazuki and Fuji moving in next door. Yes, Sesshomaru was hoping this would help congeal the team, and get them to work and function as a well-oiled machine. The fact that they got penthouse suites helped assuage his guilty conscious. Not that he had one, a guilty conscious, that is. No, Sesshomaru never had to feel guilty about anything, at least not to the point of admitting it to anyone.

-x-x-x-x-

The next few days passed by in a flurry as Kagome and Kazuki settled in. They moved into their apartments on Tuesday evening, and Thursday saw the arrival of their clothes and personal items from Canada. Kagome silently thanked her friends for packing most of her things. The rest she would have to get later, but, for now, she was grateful for the extra clothing. It was getting tiresome having to wear the same thing over and over again.

Their project files had also been uploaded into the system, and they spent the next couple of days bringing Sakura and Fuji up to speed on their research.

Kagome rarely caught glimpses of InuYasha. He seemed to spend most of his days in his office or in meetings. I wonder if he ever comes down here? She would fleetingly think during the course of her work. It was really quite hard to concentrate when she knew he was in the complex somewhere. She thanked the kami that she didn't officially start her job until Monday. Her head and her heart just weren't in her work right now. No, it was off to dreamland with a certain silver-haired Adonis. Just knowing he was here made her feel so giddy and alive. She couldn't help the bubbling happiness erupting in her as she thought about him.

After a few subtle inquiries about her boss, she discovered that he was not married, which never even crossed her relieved mind. She found out that he didn't have a girlfriend nor was he ever serious with anyone. Yes, he dated, which made Kagome's jealousy flare when she heard that, but she calmed down when she was told that nothing was ever serious. While Sesshomaru could put fear into the hearts of his employees with only one glance, it was Yash — with his infamous temper and explosive behaviour — that the staff steered away from. The fact was that Yash never got close to anyone.

Kagome was sad to hear this last part. She knew how lonely InuYasha was growing up and how hard it was for him to open up to people. She was glad to hear that he didn't have a serious girlfriend, for her heart's sake. She couldn't help it, but if that meant that he was unhappy… Well, she felt so torn up inside. If he didn't let anyone get close, he must have been lonely indeed, and that broke Kagome's heart.

-x-x-x-x-

Saturday went by in a rush as Kagome finished unpacking, thankful that Sesshomaru allowed them to take the day off. It gave her the opportunity to get to know Sakura better. Laughing and talking with the inu-youkai, Kagome discovered she really liked her new teammate. We're going to be great friends crossed Kagome's mind more than once.

Kazuki and Fuji hung around after they unloaded their stuff, making Kagome think that they must have just dumped their belongings anywhere there was space available. Typical men, Kagome thought as she went over to their apartment later. Walking into Kaz's room, she shook her head at the site of boxes piled in the corner and clothes recklessly hung up in the closet.

After spending all day Saturday settling into her new apartment, she spent Sunday helping Kazuki settle into his. During this time, she and Kazuki came to an unspoken agreement. He stopped making snide remarks about InuYasha, and Kagome, on her part, stopped giving him dirty looks every time he did.

As soon as Kagome found out that she would be staying in Japan, she had called her mother with the news. Nori was ecstatic that Kagome was back home for two months. For good, thought Kagome, but she didn't want to voice these thoughts to her mom. Not until she got a few things straightened out.

Her mom had insisted that she bring her friends over for Sunday dinner. Thus, the four of them found themselves laughing and joking at her mother's table with her family. Sota had invited his girlfriend, Aimi, along as well. Kagome was enthused at Sota's choice of a companion. The girl was a bit on the shy side, but her quick wit and her sincerity shone through. And the way she looked at her brother, with soft, lovesick eyes! Well, Kagome was happy for both of them.

A feeling welled up in her that had been missing in her life for so long — a feeling of contentment. She could almost be happy, looking around the table at her mother, her brother, and her friends. Only one thing was missing… InuYasha … Just the thought of him made her heart flutter. The evening at her mother's would have been perfect if that particular hanyou had been there beside her. Nevertheless, it was good to be surrounded by family and friends. It was good to be home.

-x-x-x-x-

Kagome paused in the doorway, peeking back at the laughter floating out from the kitchen. Dinner was finished and the table was cleared. Sota had engaged Kazuki and Fuji in a game of Guitar Hero. Kagome smiled and shook her head; boys will be boys.

Sakura and Aimi discovered a mutual love of decorating and had engrossed Nori in a discussion on how to refurbish her living room.

Kagome walked leisurely out into the night air. She loved the fragrance of the lavender that grew in her mother's courtyard. Inhaling deeply, she sat down on the oak garden bench, leaned back, and enjoyed the solitude. In the silence of the night, alone with her thoughts, she felt a bit melancholy. The sound of echoing footsteps on the cobblestone brought a small smile to her face. Mama.

Without opening her eyes, she said, “He's here.”

Nori nodded as she sat down beside her daughter. Folding her hands demurely on her lap, she considered her daughter's aura. “I thought as much.”

Opening her eyes, Kagome regarded her mother thoughtfully. “How did you know?”

“The way you smiled all night. You're radiating joy that I haven't seen in a long time. Five years to be exact.”

Kagome smiled. Her mother was perceptive. She knew things on such a primitive level that Kagome often wondered who she inherited her miko powers from.

“He's my boss, you know. Ironic, isn't it?” Kagome paused. “He's changed.”

“I would think so. 500 years would do that to a person.”

Kagome laughed lightly. “Yes, it would.”

Remembering their last conversation, Nori casually remarked, “It's funny the way things work out. Did you talk to him?”

“I tried to explain things to him, but he didn't want to hear my reasons.”

Nori nodded. “Perhaps you should give him time. He must have been just as shocked as you about the whole situation.”

“He was so angry with me, Mama. He couldn't forgive me for leaving him. He acted like he hated me.”

“And how does he feel now?”

“I talked to him afterwards. He apologized.”

“See there. Things will work out.”

“How can you say that, Mama?”

Nori didn't bother to answer Kagome and countered with her own question. “Do you still love him?”

“Of course, I do.”

“I mean, do you love the man he has become or are you still in love with the memory of the boy he was?”

Kagome opened her mouth to automatically say, `Of course, I love him', but stopped. Instead, she silently contemplated the question in her mind. Turning confused eyes to her mother, she said, “I-I do. I do still love him, but, I'm not sure if I know him anymore. I still see glimpses of the InuYasha that I knew, but he's different now. He's grown up.”

Nori's soft chuckle filled the air. “Is that a bad thing?”

Kagome looked chagrined. “No, of course not. You should see him, Mama. He's gorgeous. I mean, he's always been beautiful.” Kagome's eyes gleamed as InuYasha's image filled her thoughts, and her voice became animated. “He wears suits now. He looks so good. And shoes! Can you believe he wears shoes now?”

As Kagome spoke of InuYasha, Nori noticed the brightening of her eyes and the flush of her cheeks. “His hair is still long and heavenly. It looks like he takes really good care of it now. He looks older and h-he's, he's so cultured!” Kagome gushed.

Nori smiled to herself as Kagome went on and on about the hanyou. Not sure if she loves the modern version, huh? She sighed. Sometimes one can't see the most obvious thing.

Kagome continued on, oblivious to her mother's bemused grin. “And he runs a company with Sesshomaru. They own the Takahashi Group. Well, they are the Takahashi Group.”

Nori gave a start. “Well, he sure has done well for himself.”

“Oh, he has. He's smart, he's rich, and he's so handsome!”

“Is that all you see, Kagome?”

Kagome stopped. Sucking in her breath, she took in her mother's shrewd gaze. “No,” she replied softly, “I don't see that at all when I look at him.”

“What do you see?”

Kagome looked away, her heart fluttering like a butterfly's wing. “All I see is InuYasha, plain and simple — just InuYasha.”

-x-x-x-x-

The foursome trudged off to start their first official day as a team on Monday morning. Their empty cupboards, bare of any groceries, made them go out and seek breakfast beforehand.

“Hey, stop the car!” Kazuki bellowed as Fuji slammed on the brakes.

“What the —”

Kazuki pointed delightedly at the big sign. “It's Starbucks! Let's go get coffee.”

Kagome laughed. “Kaz, we just had breakfast. Don't you remember the three cups of coffee you just had?”

“Yeah, but it's Starbucks!”

Kagome couldn't help but snicker at the enthusiasm of her friend. The way he was bouncing around, you'd think it was Christmas morning and he was the kid with the biggest stack of presents.

Sakura and Fuji gave Kazuki strange looks.

“We have lots of Starbucks here,” Sakura explained. “The coffee chain is so popular in Japan, you'd be able to find one on every street corner.”

Kazuki punched a fist into the air. “Yesss!”

Kagome burst into giggles at the shocked expressions on their friends' faces. They just couldn't understand Kazuki's enthusiasm over a coffee shop.

“He just likes his caffeine,” Kagome explained between giggles.

She relented when Kazuki turned puppy dog eyes at her. “Okay, let's stop and get a mocha.”

Fuji pulled into the parking lot. To both Kagome's and Kazuki's delight, a Mister Donut shop was right next door.

Sakura and Fuji simply could not understand their project chairs' enthusiasm for sugar, and Sakura hesitantly asked them about it.

Kazuki smirked over at Kagome. “They just don't get it yet, eh, Kags?”

Kagome simply grinned at her friend and slightly shook her head. No, their new team members didn't realize what they were in for: all the late nights, the stress, and the lack of sleep. They would need all the help they could get, and coffee and donuts was one way to fuel a scientist's hectic day: caffeine, lots and lots of caffeine.

-x-x-x-x-

Since they had to report to Yash's office to brief him on their research, Kagome decided to pick up donuts for their meeting.

After contemplating at the Starbucks counter, she also got a hot chocolate for him. She didn't know if he drank coffee, she thought wistfully. She didn't know what he drank. She didn't know what he liked anymore, and that little thought depressed her, but she remembered that he had once liked hot chocolate, so she got him one.

-x-x-x-x-

They arrived back at the complex at 9:30 and since their meeting with Yash wasn't until 10:30, they had an hour to kill.

Kagome kept glancing at the clock waiting anxiously for the meeting to roll around. Was it only just 9:40? An inspiration struck her as she picked up the hot chocolate.

“Umm, Mr. Takahashi's hot chocolate will be cold before the meeting, so… um… I'm…um… going to go deliver this now. I… um… I might as well take the donuts too…” Kagome thought she would just die and go through the floor with the way Kazuki was staring knowingly at her. Luckily, Sakura and Fuji were too wrapped up looking over files that they just gave her a non-committal wave.

“Okay, see you at the meeting,” Sakura murmured as she perused a file sheet.

Kazuki gave her a half smile. “Yeah, see you at the meeting, Kags.”

Kagome grabbed the hot chocolate and donuts and sped out the room, her face flaming.

-x-x-x-x-

Yash sat there staring at his clock. He had been sitting there for over fifteen minutes, waiting anxiously for his 10:30 meeting to start. Shit, I should have scheduled the meeting for 8:00, he though wryly. Was it only 9:40? What the hell was he going to do for the next fifty minutes?

A tentative knock brought him out of his brooding. “Come in,” he called out, glad for the distraction.

Her scent reached him before the door opened to reveal Kagome hesitantly standing at the threshold.

Yash jumped out of his seat and hurried over to stand in front of the girl. “Kagome!”

Kagome smiled tentatively. “Good Morning, InuYasha.”

Yash drank in the sight of her standing before him. She looked so good in her casual grey pants and blue sweater. I wish she would leave her hair down, Yash thought wistfully as he looked at her ebony tresses pulled up into a high ponytail.

Kagome drank in the sight of the hanyou standing before her. He looked so good in his red shirt and black suit. I wish he would leave his hair down, Kagome thought wistfully as she looked at his silvery locks tied back at the nap of his neck.

Mrs. Morito, Yash's secretary, shook her head and grinned at the couple staring at each other. If only those two could see what I can see, even from here, she thought.

“I… um… I'm glad you could meet with me this morning.” Yash cleared his throat, not bothering to mention that Kagome was fifty minutes early or the fact that they were missing the other three team members.

Kagome smiled brightly up at the hanyou and held out her hands. “I brought you hot chocolate and donuts.”

“Donuts?”

“They're round sugary batter that's deep fried.”

Yash smiled indulgently her, a twinkle in his eye. “I know what donuts are, Kagome. I think I was around when they were first invented.” He laughed out loud as the girl in front of him blushed bright red.

Kagome could have kicked herself. Ever since she returned to Japan, she's been acting like a blithering fool.

As Yash continued to laugh at the chagrin look on her face, the tension broke. InuYasha's laugh was deep and infectious, and Kagome couldn't help but to join in.

“Sor-sorry…” she giggled. It was wonderful to hear him laugh so spontaneously, something she didn't remember him doing a lot of. Little did she know he never did it at all, judging by the shocked expression on his secretary's face.

Yash stepped back and allowed Kagome in.

Kagome held out the hot chocolate. “I… um… I didn't know if you drank coffee, so I got you hot chocolate. I remember how much you liked my mama's…” Kagome trailed off. She didn't mean to tread on the past, but it was so hard not to with the hanyou.

Yash took the drink gratefully and grinned down at her. “Hot chocolate is fine. So, what kind of donuts did you get?”

He moved towards the box that Kagome had set down on the round meeting table. Opening up the lid, he peered down at the selection.

Kagome slapped his hand away. “You have to wait for the meeting.”

“Hey!” Yash protested. “I didn't have breakfast. You're the one who brought the donuts up and besides,” he smirked at her, “I'm the boss.”

Kagome playfully rolled her eyes and conceded as Yash looked down and concentrated on his selection. He gleefully picked up a sprinkled one and took a huge bite.

So he likes the sprinkled ones, huh? Kagome filed that thought into her mind.

A warm sensation swirled in the pit of her stomach as she watched InuYasha. Great, now I'm getting turned on just watching him eat a donut. Get a hold of yourself, Kagome!

Pulling her gaze away as Yash downed his sweet treat, Kagome looked around his office. When she was here the first time, she missed the row of pictures that lined the cabinet along the wall. She raised a questioning brow at InuYasha, and he nodded slightly giving her permission to look at the photos. Striding over, she looked at the images. There were quite a few pictures of two younger inu-youkai who looked like Sesshomaru.

Yash quietly walked over and stood behind her. “Those are Sesshomaru's children, Daichi and Chouko.”

Kagome nodded. “Who did he marry?”

“An inu-youkai from the western lands. It was an arranged agreement between the two families.” InuYasha shrugged. “It worked out okay. They don't seem to be that badly matched.”

Yash watched intently as Kagome perused the row of photos, his hand itching to loosen her ponytail and free her tousled locks.

Kagome scanned the pictures until she stopped at one displaying a young, red-headed man. Picking up the frame, she peered closely at it. She was oblivious to the scrutinizing stare of the hanyou.

When Kagome raised questioning, hopeful eyes up to him, he gave her a half smile and confirmed her suspicions. “That's Shippo.”

“Shippo…” Kagome whispered. She traced the sharp contours of the kitsune's face through the frame. A young man with bright red hair and emerald green eyes joyfully stared back at her through the glass. Kagome was so happy and relived to know that the kitsune was alive that tears came to her eyes.

The last time she had stood in his office, she had wanted so badly to ask InuYasha about their feudal friends, but she was afraid to bring anything up about the past. She hadn't wanted to jeopardize the fragile bond that they now shared.

“Kagome, don't… don't cry,” InuYasha said softly.

Kagome hastily wiped away her tears and gave him a watery smile. “I'm just so happy that he's still alive.”

“Keh, of course, he is. He turned out to a be a pretty strong kitsune.”

Kagome couldn't miss the pride she heard in InuYasha's voice.

“Where is he now? Can I see him?”

“He's in China.”

“China?”

InuYasha nodded. “Our Shippo became a Kitsune Master.”

Our Shippo. Kagome smiled nostalgically at the reference. “Oh, I thought… Well, I saw all these paintings.” she gestured at the artwork lining his office walls. “I thought they were Shippo's. It looked like his style.”

InuYasha gave her a lopsided grin. “You're right, those are Shippo's. He took up painting as a hobby. He never lost his love for drawing.”

Looking over at the paintings, InuYasha continued, “The kit still loves to draw and paint in his spare time. He's good too. He could have made a fortune selling his paintings, but he decided to continue the tradition of kitsune magic. He wanted to make sure the ancient kitsune arts weren't lost, so he opened up temples all around the world to ensure that his heritage survives.”

To know that Shippo grew up with such strong values made Kagome swell up with pride.

She could tell that InuYasha was equally as proud of the little kitsune they had both rescued and loved.

“Even Sesshomaru appreciates his talents. He commissioned Shippo to paint all of the art for this place. Normally, the kit wouldn't have taken on such a job, but,” he shrugged, “he did it as a favour to me.”

S. Takahashi. All the paintings she noticed around the buildings. Ah, now it made sense. “I noticed all the paintings on my tour. They're beautiful.”

InuYasha nodded and smiled down at Kagome. “Who would have thought the kit had talent, huh? Must have been all those crayons you used to bring him.”

Kagome's eyes misted as she recalled the endless hours she watched Shippo immersed in his drawings, or the way his face lit up when she brought him art supplies.

Kagome returned the smile. “He always loved drawing. Does he go by Takahashi too? When I saw the name on one of the paintings, I thought it might have been him.”

“I adopted Shippo,” Yash suddenly admitted softly. He looked up and paused at what he saw in Kagome's gaze. Her eyes were filled with tenderness and gratitude and …. love? He blinked a couple of times and subconsciously moved closer to the girl.

“Y-you adopted him?”

Yash cleared his throat and nodded. “After Sango and Miroku died, Shippo came with me, and we stuck it out together.”

“I'm so glad,” Kagome said softly, trying to hold back the choking emotions. She missed her friends, and yet she never went back to see them. Shame filled her heart. What kind of friend was she? Funny, how when your life gets so busy, you tend to let the days run into each other without a thought to anyone else. Until it was too late. “S-Sango… M-Miroku, were they h-happy?”

InuYasha wanted to ease the pain he saw etched on Kagome's face. “I'm sorry, Kagome. I didn't mean to tell you like that. Sango and Miroku had good lives. They re-built their slayer village and continued the taijiya tradition. They had many children and grandchildren. They were happy together, and they had fulfilling lives.”

Yash tried to lighten up the mood. “Kagome, don't be sad. They wouldn't want you to be.”

Kagome gave a brief nod, the lump in her throat making it hard for her to reply.

Her eyes rested on a rectangular box displayed among the photos. With tentative hands, Kagome grasped the wooden box. No, not wood, bone. She ran her fingers over the smooth intricate design on the lid. It was beautifully hand crafted and ivory-like in appearance.

Giving InuYasha a questioning look, she turned the box over in her hands. There was an unbroken seal running around the edges.

“It's from Miroku,” InuYasha said quietly.

Miroku. Kagome caressed the box as if she could erase time and feel the presence of her friend once again. “It's made from demon bone, isn't it?”

“Yes.”

Sango. Only her dear friend could have created such an exquisite object.

“Sango made the box and Miroku carved the design.”

“What's in it?”

“I don't know.”

Kagome looked up startled. “You don't know?”

InuYasha looked abashed. “I was told that I couldn't open it yet. Before Miroku passed away, he entrusted that box to Shippo with explicit instructions to keep it safe for me.”

“Why didn't he just give it to you?”

InuYasha looked sheepishly at her and gave her a half grin.

Kagome laughed. “Ah… I get it. You would have been too tempted to open this up.”

At InuYasha's blush, Kagome laughed harder. “I'm surprised it's not open now that you have it.”

“Well… It's was Miroku's wish that I didn't open it yet.”

“When can you open it? It's been 500 years. What are you waiting for?”

“I-I can't open it yet, that's all.” InuYasha held out his hand for the small chest, refusing to further the discussion.

Kagome complied and handed the delicate bone box back, feeling a slight pang in her heart as the case left her hands. Her dear friends had lovingly made that box for InuYasha. She was so thankful that they loved him enough to make him a keepsake.

She watched as InuYasha carefully slid the box back onto the table, his hand resting momentarily on it.

“I'm surprised you keep that here. In the office, I mean, instead of your house.”

Yash snorted. “Well, I tend to spend more time in the office than anywhere else and,” he gave her a self-deprecating smile, “sometimes it's nice to have old friends close.”

Kagome felt her heart twist at that admission. Oh, InuYasha. She looked up, her heart filled with love and pride for her hanyou. “I'm glad you weren't alone, InuYasha. T-that you had Shippo. Thank you for raising him.” Kagome looked at him, tenderness infused in her eyes. “From the sounds of it, you've raised a fine kitsune.”

InuYasha looked away, embarrassed. “Keh —”

Kagome reached out, touched InuYasha's shoulder, and was shocked. An infusion of warmth swept through her system as tingles of electrifying energy burst from his shoulder up to her arms and chest. The two stood, immobilized, as the feeling coursed between them.

Raising her gaze up, Kagome stared into the glowing depths of amber coals. She licked her lips and slowly leaned in. She couldn't breathe as a shudder of need coursed through her body, her breath coming out in little hitches. His breath was warm and silky as it caressed her cheeks and skimmed over her lips like a butterfly's kiss. His mouth was a whisper away. Kagome parted her lips ready to receive him …