InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Peace Treaty ❯ The Longest Night ( Chapter 39 )

Winter had come to the stronghold, gripped her bony fingers tightly, and did not let go. Daylight hours, noticeably shortened, could do little against the bitter cold that settled each night, and the inhabitants of the manor did their necessary work quickly and efficiently, trying to make the most of natural light before darkness descended.

 

Three friends, two Inuyoukai and one Ningen, were engaged in an ancient practice, one that females through the ages often employed to hold the numbing boredom of the coldest months of winter at bay—they took tea together and gossiped.

 

Their servants, seated unobtrusively nearby, were likewise occupied, but in addition to quietly chatting, they eavesdropped, eager to absorb any bits and pieces that may be of import. Amongst the currency of hearsay in which the manor servants traded, the value of information gleaned from a primary source was beyond price.

 

Kagome's maid listened intently for her own name. She and Lord Akeno had been meeting in secret and for the past several days had been intimate, and she wanted reassurance that nothing was suspected. Kagome had warned her that she should be careful because of the differences in their social positions, but she, believing Akeno when he told her that they could be together in the open once she had been at the manor longer and became firmly established in the household, let herself be seduced. Until then, they had to be careful. He even instructed her to bathe thoroughly after their meetings before returning to Sesshoumaru and Kagome's quarters. Yukika hated the subterfuge. Kagome had been only kind and generous to her, and she disliked going behind her back, though she understood the necessity.

 

“So Kagome…tell us something we don't know,” Gina said deviously. “Sumiko once told me that when Sesshoumaru was a child he talked in his sleep. Does he still?”

 

Kagome froze, mid-sip of tea, and turned every shade of red imaginable. “I…uh…no actually. Sometimes I don't even think he sleeps.” She blushed deeper, shy about giving details. “I mean I know he does. Sleep that is. But sometimes I wake and…touch him.” She paused, mortified that she was still speaking. “On his face,” she said quickly. “I trace his markings. On his face. And he opens his eyes and gives me this look that tells me he's been awake the whole time and merely tolerating my…explorations.” She buried her face in her hands while Gina and Azami stifled laughter, trying not to make Kagome's sharing more painful.

 

“Don't be embarrassed.” Azami lowered one of Kagome's hands and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I only wish I end up with a portion of the happiness you have.”

 

Kagome squeezed back, grateful. “And has your father given you any indication of the families he is considering for your match?”

 

“There's a lengthy list. I've consulted with Lady Seiobo about it. All the families he named are highly respected…with males either a great deal older or a great deal younger than I. Not even sure right now which would be better.” She shook her head. “I was foolish to think he would take my preferences into consideration.” Azami swiped at her eyes before the tears could slip out. “I just want someone who will be kind. I've had enough with cruelty.”

 

Kagome and Gina exchanged concerned glances.

 

“Darling,” Gina said, “we all have been used as pawns at times, but we've survived, and you will continue to do so. I'm thankful I'm no longer being put up as a prize to win loyalty to the General, and I know he will not agree to give you to someone you find disagreeable.”

 

“I respect the General as much as you do,” she said patiently. “But I also know he wouldn't hesitate to use me for political gain. I've grown up with it. I expect it.” She forced a smile. “We've become too serious. I, for one, would like to hear more of your…explorations, Kagome.”

 

Kagome was saved further humiliation by Lady Seiobo breezing into Gina's sitting room with the force of a silk-clad tsunami. “I'm so sorry to intrude, but I've just been told that Lord Okuri's party has been spotted by the sentries and is expected to arrive soon. Azami, I know you would like to look your best. You may go to your quarters and freshen up. I'll have your father sent there first, so you two may greet each other privately. Then we will gather in the main meeting hall. The General wishes to receive Lord Okuri's vows of loyalty this afternoon, and he wants the entire manor to witness it.” She looked at Gina and Kagome, appraising their appearance. “Darlings, go change into more suitable attire. This is a matter of state, and we need to treat it as such.”

 

As they walked out of Gina's sitting room, Kagome and Lady Seiobo fell into step beside one another. Kagome knew she had been consumed with balancing security and protocol, an unenviable task in itself, in addition to making preparations for the upcoming holiday. The Lady of the West, who normally was the essence of elegance and poise, looked exhausted.

 

“Lady Seiobo, do you think Lord Okuri is serious in his declaration of allegiance?” That question had been foremost in everyone's mind since word came of Okuri's proposed overture.

 

Seiobo sighed, thoughtful. “My dear, we can only hope. My mate's cousin is calculating to the extreme. We all know it. But for him to swear an oath so near our most sacred night…it shows something. To violate a vow, especially one made now, would be an unforgiveable act of sacrilege. He's either in earnest or insane. Still…we tread carefully.” She put a reassuring arm around Kagome. “I promise, dear child, nothing like that unfortunate occurrence when he last visited will be allowed to happen again. I doubt Sesshoumaru will let you out of his sight, certainly not without a trusted escort.”

 

“I'll be fine,” she smiled. “I can use my powers now. And I know I've proven I can take care of myself…though you are probably right about a certain someone being overprotective.” Truthfully she didn't mind. Sesshoumaru had been so busy with increased drills and inspections that they only saw each other during the day at meals, training in the arena, and when they were briefed on spies' reports. When they were finally alone together at night, they secluded themselves, shutting out the politics and intrigue, letting the rest of the stronghold vanish, if only for a few hours. The prospect of being with him more often, accepting the safety of his strength and presence, frankly thrilled her. As she walked with her mother-in-law toward the section of the manor that housed the most important Youkai, Kagome asked, “What exactly is the Longest Night to Youkai? Among Ningen it simply marks an astronomical occurrence. Please, if you will, explain the significance.”

 

“As you know, Youkai were the Earth's gift to his first wife, the Sun. We are her children. As winter proceeds, the Sun shows herself less and less, until the balance is tilted too far. The Longest Night is a turning point, after which harmony begins to be restored. We believe that the Sun is hiding in a cave, and we hold a feast to lure her out, so that the days will lengthen, marking her return to supremacy. The day after Longest Night, to celebrate we have a hunt, a large one, meant to provide sufficient food through the rest of the winter. It is a time of hope and giving and recognition that in dark, light will come.”

 

“The symbolism is beautiful.”

 

“Yes, it is. And now I must leave you.” She kissed Kagome's cheek. “I have a thousand things I to do before the drama begins.”

 

Kagome continued on her way to the quarters she shared with Sesshoumaru, followed close behind by Yukika.

 

XXXXX

 

Sesshoumaru took his place next to his father and surveyed the hall, which was rapidly filling up with military officers, advisors, and the rest of the nobility. They were all to witness what many thought would be the final burial of decades of turmoil in the House of the West. Among the assembled throng, only the oldest Youkai could remember the details of the beginning of the strife, a son's failed attempt to wrest power from his father, but all were aware of the product—betrayal, murder, years of mistrust. Sesshoumaru was as hopeful as any of them that this was the beginning of the end, that the perpetually reopened wound would at long last be allowed to heal, but he doubted. From childhood, his father's cousin's name was equated with poison. Tales of thwarted coups and successful assassinations coupled with the very real attack on Gina, though part of the past, would never be far from his mind.

 

His mood was set somewhat at ease when Kagome entered and joined him and his parents; so long as Okuri was at the stronghold, he would only be reassured of her safety while she was within arms' reach. She looked up at him and a soft smile flickered, then her face mirrored his solemnity, and Sesshoumaru realized, with a curious pride, that her lessons on protocol and seemly behavior with his mother had not been a waste. In fact, she, with her hair up and in formal dress, completely looked the part of an heir's mate, though he readily admitted his fondness for her everyday, unconventional appearance. He nodded his approval briefly and watched her blush and squirm under the weight of his unwavering stare, the reserved noblewoman instantly transformed back into the Kagome he knew.

 

Seiobo, who noticed everything, was not ignorant of the two standing on the other side of her mate. Part of her new daughter's charm was her inability to conceal her emotions, and Seiobo loved Kagome even more for it, but wished her son showed his usual good sense and kept his gaze straight ahead. She was spared from fearing any breach in etiquette; the drums began to sound, ponderously signaling the need for silence.

 

Lord Okuri and his armed escort entered the hall, and a hushed quiet followed. They removed chest armor and swords and laid them ceremoniously on the floor near the door. It was a gesture of trust and deference, in consideration of General Inutaisho and Sesshoumaru, who were clad in formal battle regalia. Azami stepped from the crowd and took her place behind her father, and they walked up the center of the cavernous room, stopping in front of the Lord of the West and his family.

 

“I, Okuri Inutaisho,” he began, “recognize you, Isamu Inutaisho, as rightful leader of the West and renounce all claims to the title for myself and on behalf of all my retainers and descendents. I pledge to support you as leader of the West and your heir and his progeny.” He sank to his knees, palms laid flat, and lowered until his forehead rested on the floor.

 

Though the assembly, familiar with the General's desire to see the troubles over and done, knew the predictable response, the tension was thick and suffocating. There was a time, not that long ago, when the traitorous supplicant would have been beheaded instantly and family members imprisoned.

 

“I accept your renunciation and your pledge,” General Inutaisho said and paused, allowing the witnesses a collective sigh. “I, as now-unrivaled Lord of the West, offer to you and your daughter my support and protection.”

 

Okuri sat up, and the General offered his hand. He took it and stood. The two cousins, bitter enemies for most of their lives, embraced.

 

They drew back, and Okuri said, “A new era in so many ways. If Youkai and Ningen can lay to rest millennia of War, so can I give up a century and more of family squabbles. I look forward to working for peace with you.”

 

All present were warily relieved, except for Gina, who refused to assign her assault and near-death to the realm of family squabbles, and Sesshoumaru, who thought the pretty words reeked of deceit.

 

XXXXX

 

Lord Okuri stood in the training arena with a handful of General Inutaisho's advisors and officers and watched Kagome spar with the members of his personal guard. As she easily defeated them one by one, he found it increasingly difficult to hide his satisfaction. He had been at the manor for five days. Five days of acting dutiful and repentant. Five days of watching and waiting. Akeno Sato had kept him well informed on the activities of the manor, but seeing Kagome's ability to fight and her desire to prove herself to those watching her had him convinced his plan would succeed. Akeno was confident in his forgeries, and now Okuri had only one task—to sow the seeds of doubt.

 

“She's a remarkable fighter,” he said to Commander Endo. “Atypical behavior in a female, of course, but then..the whole situation, a Ningen woman living with Taiyoukai, is without precedent.”

 

“Lady Kagome has fit into life here better than any would have imagined,” Commander Nakamura said. “Not only has she charmed the soldiers, nobility, and servants alike, she also assists in the infirmary and has taken on the training of the younger archers.”

 

Okuri nodded slowly. “Amazing to think that a Ningen could assimilate into Youkai society so well. And a miko no less. As usual, Lady Seiobo takes a chance we all thought foolhardy and scores a victory.” He paused as Kagome and a new challenger bowed to one another. “I'm curious though. How is my cousin planning to hide the events of Fukuoka from her?”

 

The others glanced at each other. “She already knows,” Lord Sato said.

 

“Really?” Okuri sounded shocked. “And what happened when she learned this? I assumed Isamu would prefer her to remain ignorant that he killed her father. At least until she provided Sesshoumaru with an heir.”

 

Lord Sato stiffened. “I am unaware of the circumstances, but as far as I know, there were no negative consequences. They seem quite fond of each other.”

 

“Actually, when she first found out, she drew a knife on him,” Commander Nakamura blurted, without thinking.

 

“What? She threatened him?”

 

Nakamura could feel the heat of the angry glares the others focused on him. General Inutaisho had wanted to contain the news of Kagome's reaction to discovering the truth about her father's demise to those who were there at the time and not let it become common knowledge; he certainly wouldn't want his cousin to learn anything about that night. “They must have reached an understanding,” Nakamura said quickly, trying to mitigate the damage. “No blood was drawn, and it hasn't been brought up again. The General has complete trust in her.”

 

“Hasn't he been criticized in the past for being a bit too trusting?” Okuri asked silkily.

 

He let the question hang like an accusation. The other Youkai looked at him sharply. It was Okuri who had betrayed his cousin's trust countless time. He was certain however that his gamble would pay off. True, he put attention on his treasonous past, but soon it would be Kagome shadowed by a cloud of suspicion.

 

XXXXX

 

A lone sentry stood at the gate of the stronghold and faced west, eyes fixed on the sun as it dipped beneath the horizon. When the last remnant of the glowing celestial body disappeared from sight, a loud horn sounded, and the guard sparked a fire and lit the beacon atop the wall, signaling the beginning of the Longest Night. The entire stronghold came to life with evidence of celebration—lively music played, happy greetings exchanged, copious libations poured. Most servants, save those required to prepare and wait in attendance on the feast, were given leave to enjoy themselves with their families.

 

The Youkai nobles and officers gathered in the main hall, which was now filled with torches and dining tables. As huge trays, piled high with the choicest bounty from harvest and hunt, were carried out and placed on the tables, General Inutaisho and Lady Seiobo welcomed their guests.

 

“Seiobo, relax,” he chided gently, nuzzling her neck when no one was looking. “You've outdone yourself, as you do each year. It is time for you to enjoy the festivities, along with everyone else.”

 

She smiled and playfully tried to swat him away. “Between planning this night and preparing for our visitor, I have been running without stop for two weeks straight. I confess it's a little difficult to allow myself the luxury of taking it slow.”

 

“I'll take you slow tonight,” he whispered, amused at her efforts to look imperturbable.

 

“Isamu, stop,” she hissed, but couldn't help the flush that bloomed on her cheeks. “You're making me feel like Kagome.”

 

He straightened and laughed. “No one will begrudge us a moment of public affection.”

 

Lord Okuri and Azami approached them, and greetings were given. He looked around with marked interest. “I don't see your son and his mate here, Isamu. Is something wrong? And why is the feast not commencing? The sun has set.”

 

General Inutaisho shook his head, already anticipating the potential commotion his trouble-making cousin could cause. “They will be here soon,” he said brusquely.

 

Seiobo, who knew Okuri would dig for the reason if it was not given freely, sought to hold a degree of control on the information. “This Longest Night coincides with a full moon. A provision of the peace treaty guarantees Lady Kagome an opportunity to observe her full moon ritual. Sesshoumaru is waiting for her, and they will join at us any time,” she said evenly.

 

Okuri's laugh was choked with derision. “You mean to tell me, we are delaying the start of our most sacred holiday to accommodate a Ningen?”

 

“Lady Kagome,” the General growled, “agreed to compromise and cut her observance short and come quickly. I'd rather start a few minutes late than without my son and his mate.”

 

Okuri inclined his head, ever diplomatic. “And what is the nature of this…ritual?” he asked, loudly enough for the Youkai in the immediate vicinity to hear clearly.

 

The General and Lady Seiobo looked at each other. “It has something to do with her miko powers,” Seiobo stated simply.

 

Okuri didn't let the satisfied smirk cross his lips. “You allow her to continue with her activities as a miko? Is that wise? Such a powerful weapon in the midst of her natural enemies.” He glanced around to be sure others were listening.

 

“Lady Kagome has proven nothing but a most loyal member of our household,” General Inutaisho said, voice heavy with warning. “More loyal than certain blood-pure relations.”

 

“It's true, father,” Azami broke in, hating the negative tone her father was casting on such a festive occasion. “Kagome wouldn't hurt anyone.”

 

Seiobo saw the hard anger Okuri directed at his daughter and sought to keep the air calm. “Dear Okuri,” she purred, “you have not had the benefit of getting to know Lady Kagome as we have. I assure you, she would not use her powers for harm. In fact, if not for her abilities, the heir to the House of the East would be dead.”

 

“Ah yes…I heard about that unfortunate incident.” Okuri knew when to push and when to give way. “Seiobo, if you trust the girl that is enough for me. I have always held your judgment in the highest regard.”

 

The tension eased slowly, a cautious chatter flitting through the room, which grew into a hum of noise when Sesshoumaru and Kagome arrived, looking hurried and apologetic. General Inutaisho, eager to begin the feast, stood at the head of the largest table and raised a cup. The Youkai took their respective spots at the numerous tables and quieted, waiting for the announcement that would officially begin the merriment.

 

“The Longest Night,” he began, “always most sacred, is this year especially significant. We are, for the first time in recorded history, facing the best prospect for peace in the West we have ever seen. Not only peace now, but for our children and children's children. The idea that the next generation can be raised untouched by destruction and hatred is one that few dared entertain until now, but this year we realized that not only could that vision be a possibility, we made it a reality. The peace treaty has given new life to the hope and belief that Youkai and Ningen need not simply coexist, we can forge bonds, we can be one. It is a turning of the tide, and now our efforts, previously used to continue a tireless, consuming fight, will be combined in a shared strengthening of our peoples.”

 

He gestured with his raised cup at Kagome and waited while the other Youkai did the same. She handled the acknowledgement gracefully, eyes downcast, her secret smile, not quite secret.

 

“Also, for the first time in over one hundred years, the scions of Hisashi sit together, no longer as rivals, but as friends, celebrating this Longest Night as a complete clan, never to be rent again.”

 

The assembly raised their cups to Okuri and drank as one.

 

The feast had begun.

 

XXXXX

 

The meal, excellent and surpassing Seiobo's high standards, was enjoyed by all. After spending the evening and part of the night dining and drinking, plates and trays were cleared, and, gradually, couples began to exit, holding hands and giggling with one another, the effects of the fine food and wine overcoming usual reserve and formality.

 

Okuri had been surreptitiously watching Kagome the entire evening, waiting for an opportunity to catch her alone, but she was constantly with Sesshoumaru, Gina, or his daughter. Azami, he had hoped, when he left her as surety in his cousin's household, would act as his eyes and report to him. Unfortunately she had somehow found backbone and stubbornly ignored his requests for information. It was of no matter; Akeno Sato had been sufficiently ambitious to meet his needs for a spy.

 

Finally his cousin pulled Sesshoumaru aside to confer with Kouga and Commander Endo. Gina, he saw, was cooing over the Inoue infant with his daughter. Not wanting to pass on what could be his best chance, Okuri grabbed a glass from a servant's tray and crossed the hall to Kagome.

 

“Lady Kagome,” he said, offering her the wine, “I've been meaning to speak with you.”

 

Kagome covered her shock at finding herself alone with him quickly, with the reminder that they were no longer enemies. She took the glass and smiled her thanks. “You've saved me from being left to fend for myself.”

 

“And how are you finding this Longest Night? I am told Ningen do not celebrate in this way.”

 

Kagome shook her head politely, though stayed on guard. He may not be an enemy, but he was certainly not a friend, and she doubted he had sought her out to make small talk. “I've had a lovely evening. The food, the music, the acceptance into the family…I feel truly honored to be a part of it.”

 

“Yes, family. Lady Kagome, my daughter has told me you have made her feel most welcome here. I must thank you for treating Azami as a friend. There are many here who would be justified for hating her based on her parenthood, you among them. Your kindness to her is most appreciated.” He bowed to her.

 

“I love Azami and our friendship,” Kagome said honestly. “I have spent the last decade living with primarily girls and women. Considering I am frequently around the soldiers, time spent in her and Gina's company has been priceless to me.”

 

“Another matter for which I need to give you thanks…the glory you have earned for the House of the West in the tournament last month. These competitions among all four Houses happen rarely and carry significant bragging rights. You have increased the prestige of our family and Inuyoukai.” He paused while she blushed from the flattery. “And I've been told you are of great help in training the next generation of archers. A pity that you cannot take place in the hunt tomorrow; your contribution would have been invaluable.”

 

“Oh?” Kagome asked, confused.

 

And now to bait the hook, he thought. “It is a traditionally male activity. Females are not involved.”

 

Kagome saw Sesshoumaru and the General walking toward them. She straightened with determination and a fierce look in her eyes. “We'll see about that.”

 

Okuri bowed to hide the clever smirk that could not be contained. His game piece had been put into position. He needed only to wait as fate played out.

 

XXXXX

 

Akeno Sato stood in a darkened room in the quarters he shared with his parents, trying to control the shaking of his hands. A single candle cast enough light for him to read, but the words Okuri had written were frightening. Tie your topknot with a red string so they know whom not to kill. I have ordered that the one so-adorned should not receive a life-threatening injury—we will need you alive to give witness.

 

He looked out the window and forced himself not to lose spine. For two months he had been passing information to Okuri for the promise of great personal gain, and at great personal risk. He couldn't balk now. Since Okuri's arrival at the manor, they had only been in casual contact, judging that being seen together too often could imperil their plan, but his instructions had been clear—read Kagome's correspondence, study her handwriting, and work on crafting fake letters to implicate her in the General's death. Okuri would handle the rest. Yukika had been easy enough to seduce and manipulate, though she was far too loyal to Sesshoumaru and, especially, Kagome to be anything other than an unwitting accomplice. A good thing, he thought, as the fewer who were aware of the deceit, the better. And an abandoned lover would be too unpredictable a variable.

 

Make certain you finish the last forgery and slip the lot amongst the miko's letters before we leave to the hunt in the morning. I don't need to tell you that it is imperative you are not seen. As far as what to put in the letter, imagine what they, new lovers, are saying to each other this first Longest Night together. She needs to seem cunning and vengeful, but give her a conscience, not too far removed from her character. She is loved by many, and no one may suspect it a fake.

 

He touched the paper to the flame and watched as evidence burned and disappeared, transformed into a delicate, black ash. The time for guilt was long past. He had a final letter to write.

 

XXXXX

 

Sesshoumaru found Kagome as he expected—on the balcony, watching the snow that had just begun to fall. The undertones of her scent were changing again, coinciding with the full moon, and her ripeness drew him, unresisting. “You're wet,” he said and brushed the melting flakes from her dark hair.

 

She leaned against him and sighed. “Isn't it tranquil?” she asked as if in a dream. “You could tell me right now there's no such thing as suffering or evil, and I'd believe you.”

 

He tilted her chin up and stroked along the angle of her jaw, skin radiant in the blurred moonlight. “Come inside. I have something to give you.”

 

He sat on the bed, pulling her into his lap, and smoothed damp hair from her face. “It is customary for Youkai to give gifts to their mates on the Longest Night.” He took one of her small hands and pressed something into it. “I originally commissioned a comb, but changed my mind recently,” he said.

 

Kagome opened her hand and gasped a smile. It was a bracelet, a twisting filigree of tiny amber and lapis lazuli beads that reflected the light of the candles like fire. “I made you a bracelet of our hair, and you gave me our eyes. It's beautiful.” She kissed his mouth, but then shot him a half-stern, half-hurt look. “Why didn't you tell me? I don't have anything to give you.”

 

“You already gave me something.”

 

“That was weeks ago.” Then she had a flash of inspiration. She kissed him again and flew to the nearby chest.

 

Sesshoumaru watched her, amused and curious, as she rummaged through the interior, mildly cursing with frustration at not immediately finding the object of her search. Finally she stood again, triumphant, and returned to him.

 

Sesshoumaru pulled her to him once more and began undoing the ties that bound her clothes.

 

Kagome giggled and slapped at his hands. Catching one, she placed a ring in his palm. “It was my father's…the only thing I have left of him.”

 

He held the signet up in the dim light to see. It was a thick, heavy band with a tree, branches spread wide, carved into the cold metal.

 

“The Higurashi family crest,” she explained. “There's a sacred tree on our estate property. Of course it has a legend attached to it…many trees do…something about a wild hanyou who lived in the forest. He and the miko who served there fell in love.”

 

He slid it on his little finger and held his hand up to look at it. “How does the story end?”

 

“I think tragically, though my father always told me a sanitized version. He knew of my childhood need for happy endings.” She lightly traced the bones in his hand. “Well, I want you to have it. You can give it to our son one day.”

 

He nodded and took the ring off.

 

She searched his face, calm and serious. “Will you tell our children about me? When they are grown, I'll be long gone.”

 

The future loss of her hit him like a blow, and he felt powerless, something entirely unfamiliar. He had always been conscious of the fact that he would outlive her by centuries, but it was just then that he got a taste of what it would feel like to be alone, to be without her. “Kagome…” His voice broke.

 

In the dark she could only barely make out his expression, but it was enough to see his sudden realization and grief. She laid her hands to the sides of his beloved face and rested her forehead against his. “It's okay,” she whispered. “The only thing that matters is we are together now.”

 

His strong arms encircled her and held tightly, and he was soothed by the steady beating of her heart against his chest, proof that she was alive.

 

Reverently they rose and undressed each other, the chill air then driving them to seek refugee under blankets more quickly than either would have liked.

 

Kagome lay back and let him take comfort in her body with kisses and caresses, sometimes slow, sometimes frantic, as though he were trying to both savor every moment and desperately cheat time. She had already reconciled with the weight and pain of their inevitable separation, already made peace with nature—beautiful and cruel and unchangeable. He sank into her and stopped, and the wetness on the side of her neck and on her shoulder told Kagome he was discovering the sweet sharpness of their reality for himself.

 

Afterward, he kept her close as she drifted into sleep. He had known he loved her; now he knew what it meant.