InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Pirates and Demons and RUM? Oh MY! ❯ CHRISTMAS!!! PRESENTS!!! MORE RUM!!! ( Chapter 2 )

Pirates and Demons and RUM?! CHRISTMAS!!! PRESENTS!!! MORE RUM!!!

 

~Disclaimer: blah blah...don't own nothing! >.<; Except the rum...and the lawyer...well maybe not the lawyer...but I own the law suit...hehehe...oh yea, I know this is late for Christmas! I was away! Sowwy! lol Happy Christmas and Merry Reading! O.o;~

 

"Where's me RUM?!" Captain Jack Sparrow yelled. Will jumped up and yelled,"How many times do I have to tell you, Jack?! It's in the hot cider; THAT YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING FOR THE LAST FIVE HOURS!!!" Jack scratched his head (awww...stupid drunken Jack! ^.^) and took a deep breath,"Oh yah!!! Well I want s'more!" he said finally. Kagome and Sango sighed and threw a snow covered coconuts at Jack...which he dodged! (O.O; GASP!) "Oi! What's this white shtuff?!" Jack said, licking it. O.o;;; "That's snow, old man!" InuYasha said, which made Jack yell,"I'm NOT A OLD MAN!!!"

"Are to," InuYasha said.

"Are not!"

"Are to!"

"Are not!"

"To!"

"Not!"

1 hour and five rum spiked ciders later...

"ARE NOT!"
"Are to!

"ARE NOT!!!"
"YES YOU ARE...OLD MAN!!!"

Miroku threw a coconut at them both before Sango or Kagome could...and before anyone went completely mad. "Miroku...I'm...shocked!" Sango said approvingly. Miroku shrugged at smirked,"So does this mean you'll bear my children?"

~SmAcK!~

A red outline of a hand formed on the monk's face,"Alas Miroku," Will said,"I think you're going to be an old lonely man..." Miroku death glared Will and shouted,"Shut up!" Will just shrugged,"Hey...I'm only speaking the truth, mate." Miroku's face spelled murder. Kagome gasped,"Miroku don't give the RED RUM face!" Jack suddenly woke up,"RUM WHERE?!" Sango, Kagome, Will and Miroku all turned and threw a coconut. O.O

A couple hours later...

Jack and InuYasha had woken up...and gotten a hold of more ciders spiked with MORE RUM! "Ohmigosh!" Kagome said suddenly. "What?" Everyone said. "It's CHRISTMAS EVE!" she yelled. "So...what are ye saying lass?" Jack asked. "We need to hang stockings! Make Christmas lists! Bake cookies! Pour out milk! Go to bed and wait for Santa Claus!" She replied, in a 'duh how could you not know this?' tone. "Ahem...um who's Santi Closet?" InuYasha said in a 'duh how are we supposed to know this?' tone. "It's Santa Claus! He comes down chimneys and gives everyone presents!" Awkward silence...

"Why?" Will and Miroku asked. "Well...um...because he can!" Kagome said, smiling.

A bit later and a couple more bottles of rum...

"W00t! We're done decorating!" Kagome shouted, dancing around InuYasha. "Okay...what nowJ?" he asked, while Jack tried to eat some mistletoe. "Wellllll..." Kagome said, snatching the mistletoe away and hanging it in the doorway,"We go to sleep and wait til' morning!" She smiled as Jack walked over to the doorway and looked up at the mistletoe,"So erm...lass what is this?" he asked. "It's mistletoe! You have to kiss the person standing underneath..." Kagome replied, stepping away as Miroku joined them. Jack smirked, closed his eyes and leaned forward to kiss Miroku, who he thought was Kagome; which made Miroku think Jack had Cabin Fever or was just...ahem...which made everyone break out into song. O.O;;;

THE NEXT MORNING! AND MORE RUM! W00T!

"YAY PRESENTS!" Kagome screamed, waking everyone. "Bloody 'ell luv!" Jack shouted, "You're going to wake the British army and let Norrington find us!" Will jumped up and looked around,"Norrington! WHERE?! I'll throw him in the brig if he steals me Elizabeth!" O.o;;; "Erm...Will mate...he's not here," Jack said. Will scowled and gasped fakely, pointing behind Jack,"It's...BARBOSSA!!!" Jack jumped sky high, got twisted in his hammock while pulling his sword and screamed bloody murder,"WHERE! BARBOSSA! NOOOO! NOT ME RUM!" o.O;;;

Will fell on the floor laughing while InuYasha and Miroku un-twisted Jack. "You tricksied me Will!" Jack yelled. "You tricked me first!" Will shouted back.

"Did not!" Jack said.

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"SHUT UP!" Kagome and Sango yelled. Kagome exhaled slowly,"Now...let's open our presents...hehehehe that SANTA LEFT US!!!" 'Santa' left Kagome some 'Elizabeth things' as Jack called them much to Will's dismay. InuYasha got a dog grooming kit,"I'm not a pet!!!" he yelled at this. Sango got...a Shippou! (Audience: WTF...? Me:...Er...It's Shippou! THERE HE IS!) Will got a book called, 'Winning Women For Dummies'. Miroku got a lump of coal with a note attached,'Stop being a perverted old monk or ELSE! -Santa Claus'. AND JACK GOT...dun dun dun...MORE RUM! "YESSS RUM!!! ME RUM! ME RUM ME RUM ME RUMMM!!!" O.O; "Wait a minute...how'd Santa get in Kagome?" Sango said...poking her Shippou. "Um...I dunno..." Kagome replied, sratching her head,"Breaking and entering?" Jack gasped,"WE SHOULD FILE A LAWSUIT!!!" and strangely enough...EVERYONE AGREED! OFF TO PORT ROYALE! W00Terz!

Sooo...after a long sail, which involved Will throwing the rum overboard, Jack jumping in after it, InuYasha trying to take over as Captain, Sango and Kagome throwing more coconuts, Shippou saving Jack (?) and Jack pounding InuYasha anddrinking Will ANDDD more rum; they arrived in Port Royale and found a lawyer. "Well...if I'm your lawyer, you can win my money and a free package of Clear Eyes (COMMERCIAL BREAK! Ben Stine dude from Clear Eyes eye drops commerical: Clear Eyes...wow...it's awesome... Audience: WTF?! Me: Mwaha...yah...you better think this is uber, SAVVY?! Audience: O.O;;;; yes ma'am!), the lawyer said,"Yes Clear Eyes...it's awesome..." SOOOO...THEY SUED THE PANTS OFF SANTA!! (Me; *singing* Grandma's gonna sue the pants off Santa...Audience: O.o;;;) And...THEY WON! w00t lawsuits! *ahem*

All of them moved to the North Pole and Jack was Santa Claus! And the elves started a mutiny! And all the rum in the world was GONE! And Will was head elf! And Miroku had elf children! And Sango and Kagome threw coconuts! And Shippou...was cute?!

*tape rewinds* Um I mean...that never happened...they just sued Santa and got...candy canes? AND MORE RUM! Yea >.> <.<

So they all lived happily with rum and candy canes...and Ben Stine's money and Clear Eyes (it's awesome...)!

DUN DUN DUN...THE END...WITH MORE RUM!

 

~Mwahahahaha that was...stupid! YAY! anways...dedicated to the crazy Pirate Rose and the crazier Minoko...I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU'RE BETTEREST THAN...MORE RUM!!! ^.^

REMEMBER TO REVEIW AUDIENCE! I LOVE YOU! BECAUSE YOU'RE APPARENTLY CRAZY ENOUGH TO READ MY FAN FICS! w00t! mwaha...you must admit...THEY ARE UBER FAN FICS! SAVVY?! mmmkay...byeeee and reveiwww!!!~