InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Protect Me, Hold Me, Love Me ❯ Protect Me, Hold Me, Love Me ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer:  I don’t own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. I am not making any money from this.

Author's Note August 2011: Yes, I decided to revisit this again. This was my first Inuyasha fic and it was written when I was still new to the series. I was looking it over and I cringed at some of my writing. I would like to think I have improved as a writer since I first wrote this. One of the things that made me cringe was my characterization of Kouga. Now that I know the characters better I know that he wouldn't really act like that. So I sought to fix that and give an explanation for why he goes so out of character. This doesn't really change anything in the story, just helps to explain his out-of-character behavior. The only other real change is that I cleaned up my writing style a bit. I noticed that I was doing too much telling and not showing.

Original Author’s note: This is not for Kouga fans. I have nothing against him and this may seem out of character for him but I needed him to act this way for the story. Warning for attempted rape.

Author's note: Revised on January 17, 2010. Thanks to everyone who pointed out that I was switching between past and present tense. As I had written previously this was my first Inuyasha fanfic and the first one I had worked on in 3 years. I have edited it and hopefully caught all of my previous mistakes. Enjoy.

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It was a beautiful day in the Sengoku Jidai. The sky was clear and the sun was shining warmly on the path. The area would have been peaceful were it not for the two arguing as they walked along the road.

“Keh. I still don’t see why we had to waste our time running errands for Kaede-baba. We could have been out looking for Shikon shards.” The Inu-hanyou groused as he walked along a few steps ahead of his companion.

“Inuyasha, would you please stop complaining. That village really needed the medicine that Kaede-baachan prepared and it was faster for us to bring it then if Kaede had sent one of the villagers. Besides, with Naraku finally dead we didn’t have anything better to do while we waited for Sango-chan and Miroku-sama to return from their trip to the Taijiya village to repair her weapon and armor” Kagome told him exasperatedly. It was an argument that they had repeated several times since Kagome agreed to run the errand for the older miko.

“Oi! What do you mean we don’t have anything better to do?! We could be tracking down the shards that you scattered, again!”

Kagome forced herself to take a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as she felt her anger rising with each word out of his mouth. “Why do you have to keep bringing that up?! You know that it was an accident. Besides, it allowed us to defeat Naraku, didn’t it?”

Inuyasha turned his head away from her. “Keh! You mean I defeated him. You broke the jewel for a second time. Kikyou wouldn’t have shattered the jewel” he mumbled quietly but not quietly enough.

Kagome felt her face heat up, rage and hurt sweeping through her at his comment. “Inuyasha! Osuwari!” She felt a hint of satisfaction as the rosary around his neck glowed and slammed him face down into the ground. Without sparing him another look, she walked past him and continued down the path back to Kaede’s village.

As the effects of the rosary wore off Inuyasha raised himself from the crater he had made in the ground, slowly shaking his head to clear it. ‘Maybe that last comment was too much,’ he thought to himself, his ears drooping. ‘I shouldn’t have brought up Kikyou.’ He sighed but that just drew his attention back to the scent that he was trying to ignore and the reason he had made those comments. ‘Damn it. Why did the baba have to ask us to do this now? And why did that bitch have to agree?’ He growled low in his throat, hands clenching at his sides. For what seemed like the hundredth time he cursed the fact that he was traveling alone with Kagome at this time of the month. ‘Damn bitch doesn’t realize that she’s in heat or what her scent does to me. It’s taking everything I have to resist claiming her when she’s like this. I’ll just have to keep making her use that damn spell when it gets to be too much. The alternative is unthinkable.’

With that thought he started after Kagome, calling out “Oi, wait up.” But to his surprise he found that she hadn’t gone too far. She was standing still looking into the forest on the side of the road when he caught up with her.

She glanced back at him, her earlier anger forgotten. “I sense a Shikon shard this way.” And she pointed between the trees.

A sense of satisfaction and anticipation filled him at this news. “Keh. Maybe this trip will be worth it after all” he said, pulling Kagome onto his back and running in the direction she indicated. He ignored the feelings that stirred inside him from having her so close as he instead focused on the possible upcoming fight. ‘Maybe I’ll have a chance to work off some of this frustration’ he thought as he quickly ran through the trees.

They came to a clearing and quickly spotted the youkai in possession of the shard. Kagome blinked, taking in its odd appearance. It looked like a weird, mutated blue lizard. With large webbed hands and feet, its body was shaped like a frog but the head was more like that of a chameleon. Inuyasha let her slide off of his back and then stepped protectively in front of her, demanding “Oi, ugly. Hand over that Shikon shard and I won’t be forced to hurt you.”

The youkai let out a laughing hiss and said “A hanyou like you hurt me? HA! I tell you what half-breed. Hand over the shards that the girl has and I’ll make your deaths quick.”

Inuyasha growled at the threat, his hand gripping the hilt of Tessaiga in its sheath as he prepared to attack. Kagome called to him from behind. “Inuyasha, the shard is in his forehead.”

Inuyasha acknowledged her with a grunt and a command to stay back, then he charged at the youkai only to stop as it abruptly vanished from sight. “Damn it” he cursed. “He can blend in with his surroundings.” Inuyasha focused his ears and nose on tracking where the youkai had gone to. His head quickly snapped towards Kagome and he rushed toward her, swiping his claws behind her and snarling when he felt them connect with something only a foot away from her back.

The youkai was thrown back and into a tree from the impact, becoming visible once more. “You’ll pay for that hanyou!” it shouted. “I’ll make your death a slow and painful one!”

“I’ve heard that before and from bigger and scarier youkai than you but I’m still here. The only one dying here today is you” Inuyasha responded as he prepared to draw the Tessaiga. However, the lizard youkai puffed up its cheeks and spat something at him before he could unsheathe the sword. Inuyasha quickly dodged, missing most of it but some of it managed to land on the Tessaiga and its sheath, hardening immediately. “What the hell?” Inuyasha swore as he tried to draw the Tessaiga but couldn’t budge it.

Mocking laughter drew his attention back to the youkai. “I’ve heard of you Inuyasha. The hanyou that managed to defeat Naraku. Not so tough without your sword are you? You’ll be dead long before my mucus will dissolve.” And with that he vanished from sight again.

“Shit!” Inuyasha cursed as he again tracked the youkai by scent and sound. “Bastard. I might not be able to use Tessaiga but my claws are more than enough to take care of a weakling like you. Sankon Tessou!” he cried as he launched an attack where he sensed the youkai. It managed to dodge, then lashed out landing a hit of its own. Inuyasha grunted and stumbled a bit, wincing at the blow to his back as he lost track of the youkai.

Meanwhile, Kagome was watching this from behind a tree. 'Why didn't I bring my bow and arrows?' she berated herself, wishing she had the weapons. Inuyasha had told her time and again not to go unarmed but she never listened. She frowned as she watched the battle, she wasn’t close enough to hear what they were saying and so she wondered why Inuyasha hadn’t tried to use the Tessaiga. She winced when she saw Inuyasha take a hit and realized he was having trouble tracking the youkai. 'He can't tell where he is, at least not fast enough to do any damage.' However, she had an advantage over him because she could sense the jewel the lizard youkai carried. “Inuyasha, he’s behind you, about five feet.”

Inuyasha's ears easily caught her words and he quickly spun around, lunging and swinging his fist. He smirked as his fist connected, managing a glancing blow to the head and causing the youkai to become visible again.

“Fucking Bitch!” it cursed as it tried to stay out of Inuyasha’s range while gathering the energy to hide itself from sight again. “I’m going to make her suffer for that.” He glared in her direction then caught a hint of her scent and his expression changed, leering in her direction. “I think that after I kill you hanyou, I’ll take my time and have some fun with your woman.” And with that he again vanished from sight.

However, he had said the absolute worst thing he could say at that moment. At the threat to Kagome, Inuyasha felt rage surge through him like never before. All of the pent up frustration and suppressed aggression from earlier, the anger, and the buried instincts rose to the surface and he felt his blood boil as something seemed to snap inside. He didn’t notice as his claws and fangs lengthened, his eyes changed to red with blue pupils, and a jagged purple stripe appeared on each of his cheeks. The last thought to go through his mind before it went blank was that this youkai had threatened what was his and now must die. The now full-youkai Inuyasha lunged forward slashing his claws where he sensed his enemy.

Kagome gasped as she saw him transform from where she was standing, a flash of fear snaking through her. ‘Oh, no. He’s transformed into a full youkai. But how, he still has the Tessaiga.’ That was when she finally noticed the coating left from the mucus the youkai had spat at Inuyasha. ‘That must be blocking his connection to Tessaiga. But what could have caused him to transform. It didn’t look like Inuyasha was badly injured or in life-threatening danger.' She fretted, biting her lip as another though occurred to her. 'How am I going to snap him out of his transformation?’ She was pulled from her thoughts as she sensed the approach of another Shikon shard. ‘No, not now’ she thought wishing it would go away. ‘Inuyasha’s in no position to be fighting another youkai. Wait that shard I sense, there’s two of them and they’re coming fast. It’s –‘ and her thoughts broke off as a whirlwind approached and stopped right in front of her, revealing “Kouga-kun!”

He grabbed her hands. “Kagome you look beautiful as ever. I came to see how Inu-kuro has been treating my woman.”

Kagome nervously smiled. Now was not the time to be dealing with an unwanted suitor. She was about to ask if he could come back later but frowned as she realized that there was something different about him. She wasn't sure what it was but she could tell there was something wrong. Her senses tugged at her, drawing her attention to his shards. But before she could look closer a roar from the clearing behind startled her, causing her to whirl around.

Kouga also took the opportunity to glance into the clearing, spotting the transformed hanyou battling what appeared to be thin air. But his nose told him something was there, some sort of lizard youkai. However, at that moment his nose started telling him something much more important and he focused his attention completely on the girl in front of him, making her nervous at the look he gave her.

Kagome's attention was quickly drawn back to the ookami who was eying her like a piece of meat. “Ah, I’m fine Kouga-kun. Um, maybe you could help Inuyasha...” she trailed off, becoming more nervous as he just continued to stare at her. She didn't like the look in his eyes or how his aura seemed to darken suddenly.

“I don’t think so Kagome. I think I’ve let Inu-kuro protect my woman for long enough. Now it is time for you to come back with me.” And with that he grabbed a shocked Kagome, tossed her over his shoulder and ran back the way he came using his shard enhanced speed to cover a fair amount of distance in a short amount of time.

After a few moments, Kagome snapped out of her shock and began to demand that he let her go as she struggled against his hold on her. Her struggles eventually caused him to stop and put her down. “Kouga-kun! What has gotten into you? I am not going anywhere with you, I have to get back to Inuyasha, he needs my help.”

Kouga growled at her, his eyes darkening with anger and something else. “You are not going anywhere near that disgusting half-breed. I already told you, you are my woman and you are coming back to my den with me. I’ve left you with that Inu-kuro long enough and I’ve decided that now it is time for you to come back to where you belong.”

Kagome glared, completely fed up with his attitude. She took a step forward and slapped him. “I’ve told you before, I am not your woman. It is not your decision who I travel with or where I go. And I belong with Inuyasha, not you.” With that she turned to start back the way they came. However, she only managed to get two steps before a clawed hand gripped her shoulder and spun her around, its twin delivering a harsh slap of its own that knocked her to the ground. Kagome raised a hand to her throbbing cheek as she stared with a hint of fear at the scowling wolf youkai standing above her.

“You are to never mention that hanyou’s name again! Forget about him, you will never see him again. You are my woman. I declared it before my whole pack that day back when we met. I professed my love and my intentions before everyone. You are mine and you will obey me!” He snarled down at her.

She slowly rose to her feet, backing up a step. Fear slowly filtered through her body as he followed her, step for step, until she found herself backed against a tree with him leaning over her. “Kouga-kun, I-I’m sorry if I have led you on or given you a reason to think that I feel that way about you but I don’t. I’m sorry but I don’t like you that way. I’m in love with someone else.” She flinched as he slammed a fist into the tree above her head.

“I don’t care how you feel. It doesn’t matter. I already told you, you are mine whether you like it or not.” He breathed deeply and, unknown to her, his blood began to heat as he breathed in her intoxicating scent. Unnoticed, the aura around him darkened even further. “In fact, I don’t think I am going to wait until we are back at the den. I’m going to claim you right now.”

As he reached for her, Kagome panicked and raised her knee to his groin. As he fell from the unexpected impact, she took off running, hoping to get away or hopefully find Inuyasha. Her only thought was that she had get away from him.

But Kouga recovered quickly and launched himself at her with a growl, tackling her to the ground before she had gone more than a few feet. “You’ll pay for that bitch!” he snarled, turning her around and delivering another harsh slap to her face.

Kagome laid there feeling dazed for a moment. She quickly snapped out of it when she felt him shredding her clothes off of her with his claws. “No Kouga, let me go. Get off!” She struggled against him, ineffectively pushing at him and hitting his chest. He was planing to rape her, she realized in horror. Her efforts were useless and he ignored her. However, she couldn't ignore him, crying out in pain as he carelessly continued to tear at her clothes, his sharp claws catching her soft flesh over and over again. “INUYASHA!” She screamed only to be silenced by a harsh backhand to the face.

“I told you never to say his name again. Besides he’s not going to come.” Kouga sneered as he continued his violent removal of her clothing.

She cried, tears pouring down her face, begging him “Please don’t do this, I don’t want this, please no.” But he ignored her as he straddled her waist and pinned her arms with one hand and slapped her again.

“Shut up! You are mine and I am going to claim you now so that everyone knows it. After this you’ll never be able to leave or disobey me again.” With his free hand he reached down to his fur kilt to remove it then started to position himself between her legs, prying them open despite her best efforts.

'No, not like this! Not with you!' With a scream of “NO!,” Kagome managed a sudden burst of strength, managing to raise her legs and kick him off of her. She scrambled to her feet, quickly running away again. But it was no use; he was too fast for her and quickly knocked her to the ground again. Kouga raised his arm and swung a punch into her side, knocking the breath from her lungs.

“I was going to make it so you would enjoy it too but if you want to play rough, I’ll play rough” he said as he forced her onto her hands and knees. He yanked her hair back, eliciting a pained yelp from her, while using one of his knees to spread her legs wide from behind. He ignored her tears and protests as he positioned himself behind her and prepared to enter her.

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Meanwhile, by this time Inuyasha had managed to kill the lizard youkai. It was no match for the full-youkai version of Inuyasha who had managed to quickly locate his prey despite being unable to see it. He had felt the need to make the creature suffer before he killed it, though he was unsure why. The only difficulty he had had was when it began to regenerate itself but that stopped after he knocked the shard from its forehead. With the creature dead he paused to examine the shard, sniffing it before absently placing it inside his haori to examine in more detail later.

Now that the creature was dead though, he found that he was not satisfied, that his blood was still raging for a fight. He sniffed the air and caught the trail of two scents that led off into the woods. One of the scents made him snarl and caused his blood to rage with anger, while the other caused his blood to heat for a completely different reason. Deciding it was worth investigating, and hoping to find a more satisfying fight, he quickly followed the trail of the scents.

He soon came across a male wolf youkai kneeling behind a naked human female. The female was covered in cuts and bruises, and was struggling against the wolf, tears pouring down her face. It was obvious to Youkai-Inuyasha that the wolf was trying to mate the female against her will. For some reason that sight made his blood boil with rage and he let out a dangerous growl, lunging at the wolf before he had a chance to penetrate her.

Kouga sensed a shift in the wind and pulled back from Kagome, managing to dodge the blow at the last moment. This left Inuyasha standing between Kouga and Kagome, who had immediately curled up into a ball beneath the tree as soon as Kouga released her.

“What’s the matter Inu-kuro?” Kouga taunted. “Can’t stand that Kagome is mine? She is sure as hell never going to be yours. Now should I just put you out of your misery? No I think I’ll just cripple you and let you witness me claim her before I end your pathetic existence.”

Inuyasha could not comprehend everything that the youkai was saying to him but he caught the threat against himself and with a snarl launched himself at the wolf youkai. They fought and Kouga quickly realized that his Shikon enhanced speed was no match for Youkai-Inuyasha, who quickly tore him to shreds. Inuyasha was about to turn his attention to the female human when he noticed that the wolf youkai was beginning to regenerate like that other youkai from earlier. He quickly shredded the remains completely and discovered the two black shards in his legs before removing them. Inuyasha sniffed them warily, not liking the aura they emitted. He realized that they were like the other one he had found, and carefully wrapped them in a scrap of white and green cloth that was lying nearby before placing them in his haori as well. He frowned at the glass bottle lying near the scraps of cloth that held a few more of the shards, grabbing that as well. It wouldn't do to leave them lying around, he decided.

With the threat gone and nothing else left to distract him, he turned his attention to the female still curled up in a ball at the base of a tree. He sniffed and found that she was the source of the scent that made his blood boil in a good way. He quickly approached her, crouching down above her, assessing her for any threat she may pose.

Kagome flinched, trembling as she felt someone approach. She hadn’t moved since Kouga had released her. She knew that she should have run but her whole body ached and she couldn’t bring herself to move. She had heard signs of fighting but had tuned it out. “Inuyasha” she whimpered.

Inuyasha frowned. The human female knew his name? He crouched further, only inches from her now.

Kagome froze as the person moved closer, afraid it was Kouga coming to finish what he had started. Then she sensed a familiar presence above her and her head shot, eyes immediately spotting the familiar red clad form of the hanyou she loves. “Inuyasha!” she cried and launched herself against his chest with a sob, her body trembling, not yet realizing the fact that Inuyasha was still in his full youkai form.

Inuyasha tensed when the female threw herself at him, thinking that she meant to attack but deeming her no threat. He was confused when she merely clung to him and cried. Something in the back of his mind was screaming at him not to hurt her, and to make her stop crying. He sniffed her trying to determine what about her made him feel this way. He detected the scent of the wolf all over her, causing him to wrinkle his nose in disgust and growl dangerously. He sensed that he had interrupted before the wolf managed to take her and part of him felt deep satisfaction and relief at that knowledge. Sniffing deeper he detected his own scent mingled with hers. He was confused; why would this female carry his scent? He could tell that it was from frequent and prolonged contact by how deeply it was mingled with her own scent.

He frowned attempting to think but his mind was muddled, the blood raging in his body demanding his attention. He forced it down, concentrating on the female before him. Mate, he thought. It was the only explanation that fit with the little information he was able to process. He sniffed her again, more carefully to make sure of his theory. His scent was mingled deeply with her own but she was still untouched. His frown deepened before he decided that she must be his mate and he just hadn't finished claiming her yet. 'Why?' he wondered. His thoughts went back to the two youkai he had fought and he decided that they must have been attacked before he could claim her. Remembering the shards he took from both youkai, he decided that they were working together to steal his mate from him. This thought caused him to growl and tighten his grip on the girl.

Meanwhile, Kagome was feeling safe for the first time since Kouga grabbed her. She knew Inuyasha was there with her and that he would protect her. She was just beginning to calm when his sudden growl and tight grip startled her, causing her to still against his chest. “Inu-Inuyasha?” she called but received no response. She slowly raised her head from his chest to look at him and froze when she finally realized that he was still in his transformed state. She tensed as a flash of fear shot through her. She tried calling his name again “Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha smelled the fear as it entered her scent and could hear it in her voice as she called his name. He frowned. 'Why was his mate afraid of him? Did she think he was angry with her, that he blamed her for the wolf’s actions?'

Inuyasha ceased his growling and lowered his face to her neck, nuzzling it in an effort to comfort her. 'My mate shouldn’t fear.' He allowed a low, rumbling sound to rise out of his chest as he nuzzled and licked the base of her neck, where it connected to her shoulder, hoping to soothe her and show that he was not angry with her. As he felt her relax against him, he shifted his grip on her and stood up, holding her in his arms. He knew he needed to get his mate away from the dead body, not to mention take care of her wounds and get the wolf’s stink off of her. Sniffing a few times, he detected the scent of a small stream nearby and headed in that direction.

Upon reaching the stream Kagome was surprised when Inuyasha gently placed her on the bank and began carefully washing her. She blushed, more than a bit embarrassed that he was touching her so intimately. “That's alright Inuyasha, I can do it myself” she started, pulling away from his touch only to be silenced with a low growl and a small nip to her neck. Feeling she had no other choice, she quieted and allowed his actions. She had to admit that the water felt soothing to her aching body. Before she knew it her eyes were drooping, the soothing effect of the water and Inuyasha's careful and gentle attentions combining to send her into a deep slumber as the events of the day caught up with her exhausted body. The knowledge that she was safe and protected with Inuyasha relaxed her into a much needed slumber.

Once she was clean and he could no longer smell the wolf’s stench on her, Inuyasha turned his attention to the wounds Kouga had inflicted on her when he tore off her clothing. He allowed the water to wash the excess blood away, then lowering his face to the wounds, he carefully licked at the worst cuts, cleaning them and sealing them with his saliva so that they would heal. Once he was finished and satisfied that he could do no more for her wounds he turned to easing her discomfort in other ways. He removed his haori and wrapped it around her to keep her warm and reinforce his own scent on her. With that done he picked her up and searched for a suitable shelter.

He eventually found a cave that he deemed suitable. He could tell that it had been used as a shelter in the past but not any time recently. He gently laid her down, then tested the floor of the cave until he found a spot near the back that was sufficiently soft. He dug a small depression in the ground and then packed the dirt tightly to make a nest for his injured mate. Not seeing anything in the cave that could soften and pad the nest with, he removed the rest of his clothing and laid it over the nest he had created. Deciding that it would have to do, he retrieved his mate and laid her in the nest he had made for her. Inuyasha then proceeded to build a fire with the wood that was stacked against the side of the cave, knowing that the best thing for his mate was to keep her warm and safe.

With his mate now safe in the nest he had created for her, Inuyasha turned to the next thing he needed in order to take care of her. Food. Specifically meat. He knew that she would need to eat something when she woke in order to regain her strength. He exited the cave and went hunting, though he was careful to stay in range of the cave to make sure nothing happened to his mate. Quickly managing to catch and kill a couple of rabbits, he started back to their temporary den, only to pause and consider his catch. While he had no problem eating them raw, a voice in the back of his mind warned him that his mate wouldn't be able to do so. He frowned as he considered that before he quickly skinned and cleaned the rabbits and resumed his journey back to the cave. A quick glance at his mate assured him that she was still asleep. 'Good, mate needs to rest, to heal.' He quickly ate one of the rabbits raw, and then used a couple of sticks to create a spit to cook the other one for his mate.

Soon the delicious aroma of cooked meat filled the cave, reaching Kagome and drawing her back to awareness and the waking world as her stomach gave a low growl. Hands quickly but gently grasped her shoulders as Inuyasha helped her sit up. Before she could say anything or take in her surroundings he retreated to the fire only to quickly return and hand her a piece of the cooked meat, gesturing for her to eat. A deep blush crept across her face as she realized that he was naked. She quickly averted her eyes, berating herself as the urge to look crept in on her. 'Bad Kagome!' she scolded herself. His growl drew her attention back to him and he again gestured at the food in her hands. Her stomach gave another growl and she hesitantly took a bite and soon found herself distracted by eating as she was too hungry to care about anything else at the moment.

Once she had eaten her fill she tried to talk to him. “Inuyasha.” He cocked his head at her, recognizing his name and liking the way it sounded coming from her mouth. “Inuyasha do you recognize me? Do you know who I am?” He just looked at her confused, not understanding her questions. Why wouldn't he know his mate? “I guess not.” She sighed and looked down.

Inuyasha was confused by his mate’s behavior; he didn’t understand why she was sad. He glanced outside, seeing how late it had become. He decided that the best thing for his mate was for her to sleep and recover her strength. He stood and walked towards her, unintentionally reminding her of his state of undress. He frowned at the blush that covered her cheeks as she looked away. 'Was she ill?' He reached a hand out to her face, growling softly in relief when he felt no fever and smelled no sign of sickness.

Kagome couldn't help the blush that had covered her cheeks when she saw him approaching so boldly. His hands on her face surprised her and she turned her face back in time to see what looked like relief present on his face. But when he reached for her, Kagome couldn't help but become a bit nervous, taking a step back. She was stopped by his arms wrapping around her, pulling her to his body. Feeling his naked body pressed so intimately against her own, barely covered body, her mind flashed back to earlier that day with Kouga and she began to struggle against his grip, suddenly terrified and crying.

Inuyasha was confused. 'Why did his mate fight him? Why is she so afraid? She shouldn’t fear him. Never him.' He held her to his chest, repeating the same rumbling sound that had calmed her earlier and nuzzled her neck again. As she calmed down, he turned her face to his and licked her tears away, then rubbed his cheek against hers. Sniffing her he determined what the problem was, why she was so afraid. He easily detected her heat scent, which only made him want to claim her more. But because of the wolf’s earlier actions, she was not ready for them to mate and was scared that he would force her. He forced the urge to mate with her down, knowing that right now she needed him to take care of her. He nuzzled her neck again, lightly nipping her to show he understood her fears, then laid her down on her side in the nest. He removed the haori in the process, ignoring how she stiffened at the move and laid down behind her, pulling the haori over the two of them as a makeshift blanket.

Kagome tensed when she felt him remove the haori and clenched her eyes shut as she felt him lay behind her. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her thoughts repeating through her mind. ‘Not like this. I can’t do this. He’ll never forgive himself. Please no.’ When all he did was pull her against his chest and wrap his arms around her, she began to calm down, hoping that she was mistaken in her earlier assumptions. As time passed and he continued to only hold her, occasionally nuzzling the back of her neck, she slowly relaxed and fell asleep as his rumbling soothed her, making her feel safe and warm. Inuyasha relaxed as the fear left her scent and soon after Kagome fell asleep, he followed her.

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Kagome slowly awoke, feeling safe and warm. Her body was aching and there was an unfamiliar weight pressing against her waist and her legs, and a strange, yet comforting warmth at her back. With a start, the events from the previous day flooded through her mind and she tensed. She relaxed when she felt Inuyasha’s mouth at her neck again, nuzzling and licking it to soothe her. A fang grazed her neck, followed by a warm, wet tongue, and her skin tingled where it touched. She had to admit that it felt good being held like this.

Glancing down she blushed at the way they are positioned. She was using one of his upper arms as a pillow, but his hand was cupping one of her breasts. She felt embarrassed to realize that her own arms were holding it there, hugging his forearm against herself. His other arm was the weight she felt on her waist, and that hand was flat on her stomach, though the fingers were very close to her nether regions and she felt her face heat even more. Glancing further down her body, she could see that the weight on her legs was where he had thrown one of his over hers. Though she was embarrassed by the compromising position they were laying in, she couldn’t help but feel slightly aroused.

Inuyasha suddenly shifted slightly against her back, bringing something else to her attention. She felt a long, hard object settle between her butt cheeks and she froze. Her mind flashed back to Kouga forcing himself between her legs from behind and she let out a small whimper.

Inuyasha tightened his grip on her in his sleep as he felt her tense against him. Again he nuzzled her neck and let that rumbling noise vibrate out of his chest to soothe her. When he felt her relax against him, he began to wake up himself.

The first thing he noticed was that he felt warm and content. He was reluctant to wake up, and feeling the warm body he was wrapped around, he breathed deeply, instantly recognizing Kagome’s intoxicating scent. ‘Fuck, this is the best dream ever. I can actually feel her and smell her as if she’s really here in my arms.’ He tightened his grip and buried his nose in her hair not wanting this vivid dream to end yet. Unconsciously, his tongue darted out to lick her neck, and he jolted completely awake when she moved in his arms, realizing it was no dream. His eyes snapped open and he gaped down at the naked girl in his arms as he stuttered “K-Kagome?!”

She turned her head to look at him, and with a start he snapped out of his shock enough to realize that they were both naked. He quickly released her and turned his head away with a bright blush as he waited for her to sit him. “Inuyasha?” she asked, turning her head away as well with a blush. She was relieved to see that he was back to normal.

Meanwhile, Inuyasha was desperately trying to remember how they ended up this way but the last thing that he could remember was fighting that youkai and being unable to use the Tessaiga. With a sinking sensation, realization set in. ‘I must have transformed when I couldn’t use the Tessaiga. Oh no, Kagome. What if she’s hurt?’ He quickly turned back to face Kagome to check her over for injuries only to freeze when he saw the massive bruises as well as the cuts that covered her body. He choked, staring in horror at the claw marks and hand shaped bruises that littered her body, scrambling away from her as he jumped to the wrong conclusion. ‘At least I didn’t rape her’ was his bitter consolation after a quick sniff told him that she was still pure. However, it also told him that she was still in heat and he huddled in a corner as far away from her as he could, afraid that he would transform and finish what he believed he started.

Kagome was startled by Inuyasha’s sudden departure and immediately missed his warmth. She picked up his haori and wrapped it around herself, and then picked up his hakama as well, thinking that Inuyasha might want to get dressed. She started to approach him to hand them to him but was startled when he growled at her “Stay back.” Kagome saw a pained expression cross his face and, believing that something was wrong, ignored the command and continued toward him. She was shocked when he made a sudden outburst.

“Damn it Bitch! What part of stay away from me don’t you understand?!” She was startled and felt tears prickle in her eyes. “Just stay back. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Now Kagome was really confused. ‘Why does he think he hurt me?’ “But Inuyasha, you haven’t hurt me, ever.”

Inuyasha let out a bitter laugh and gestured at her. “Oh, really. Then what do you call those? I really am just a worthless half-breed. I am a monster.”

‘He thinks he is the one that attacked me?’ Kagome finally realized at his words. However, that thought was quickly pushed out of her mind by the anger that she felt when he referred to himself as worthless and a monster.

“Shut up!” she yelled at him. He flinched at her tone, but believing that he deserved her anger he remained silent. He tensed in preparation for the expected words of hate and never wanting to see him again. What he heard was not what he expected. “I never want to hear you refer to yourself that way again. You are not worthless, and you are definitely not a monster.” He raised his head to look at her in shock. Where were the words of hate, telling him to stay away from her? Why was she telling him he’s not a monster when he can clearly see the evidence that he is?

Kagome saw the look of confusion and denial on his face and sighed. She grabbed a lock of his hair and tugged, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “You are not a monster Inuyasha. You are strong and brave. You don’t hurt those who can’t defend themselves, you protect them. You would never hurt me. You protect me. You are my best friend, I care about you. Please don’t think of yourself like that, it hurts me to see you in pain. You are a good person Inuyasha, the best whether you want to see it or not. You are a better person than most people I have met, whether they are human, hanyou or youkai.”

Inuyasha was staring at her in shock. ‘H-how can she still care for me after what I obviously did? How can she not see me as a monster?’ Kagome handed him his hakama, and he reflexively took them and put them on. Still staring at her, he shook his head. ‘Her heart is too big for her own good. She should be telling me to leave but instead she is telling me she cares for me.’ He opened his mouth to deny her words but was silenced by the glare she leveled at him.

Kagome had sat and watched as the emotions flit across his face and knew he was about to try to deny her words. She cut him off before he could start. “I mean it Inuyasha. You are a good person. And I don’t care about which form you are in, you can’t hide your true nature. No matter what form you are in, whether you are human, hanyou or youkai, you always protect me. You would not hurt me no matter what form you are in.”

Inuyasha sat there stunned and deeply touched by her words. He desperately wanted to believe them but as he glanced back at her he spotted the large bruise in the shape of a clawed hand covering the side of her face and he felt his hopes crushed. He reached out and gently traced it before quietly asking “Then how do you explain this, if you think that I could never hurt you.” He clenched his hands in his lap and stared at them. “You can’t even try to say it was that lizard youkai. His hands were the entirely wrong size and shape to make these wounds. On the other hand, my hands are the perfect size and shape to have caused them.”

Kagome shook her head, wondering what it will take to get through to the stubborn fool. She reached out and gently cupped his face between her hands, holding it so that he had to look her in the eye as she said “I explain it by the simple fact that you were not the one to cause them.”

Inuyasha stared deeply into her eyes, his every sense tuned into her body to determine if she spoke the truth. He desperately needed to believe that she was but he had to be sure. Seeing no sign of a lie in her expressive face, nor hearing it in her heart rate or breathing, nor smelling it in her scent, he finally began to believe her. He could detect absolutely no sign that she was lying, nor could he detect any revulsion on her part for him. Feeling relief flood through him at the knowledge that he had not been the one to hurt her, he grabbed her, pulling her into his lap and holding her close as he allowed tears of relief to slip down his face. As Kagome rubbed her hands up and down his arms, murmuring nonsense to soothe him, he buried his face in her hair and reveled in her scent and the knowledge that even as a mindless full youkai he had not been the one to hurt her.

Inuyasha suddenly froze as a thought occurred to him. ‘If it wasn’t me who hurt her then who did? Why wasn’t I there to protect her?’ He tightened his arms around her as his eyes flashed red at the thought of someone hurting his Kagome and he issued a low growl. He managed to force the anger down when he felt Kagome tense in his arms. He sniffed carefully but the only scent he could detect remaining on her was his own. Shifting her in his lap so that he could look at her face while still holding her against his chest, he reached out a hand and tilted her face up to look at him, carefully avoiding the deep bruises.

Kagome had tensed when she heard him growl. She had a feeling about what was coming and wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk about it yet. When he shifted her and tilted her face up to look at him she felt nervous and a little afraid. “Inuyasha? What’s wrong?” she asked hoping he wouldn’t ask her any questions yet.

Inuyasha could smell the fear as it worked its way into her scent and reflexively tightened his grip to let her know she was safe. “Kagome, if I wasn’t the one that hurt you, and it couldn’t be that lizard youkai, then who was it?”

Kagome turned her face away. She was right, that was what he was going to ask her. She didn’t know what to say. How was she supposed to tell him what happened when it was her fault that it occurred? Tears began to slip down her face as she wondered what she was supposed to say.

Inuyasha felt first confusion, and then panic as he detected shame enter her scent followed by the salty scent of her tears. He clutched her to his chest, pleading “Oi, don’t cry, please don’t cry.” But that only caused more tears to fall as she turned in his embrace and sobbed against his chest, saying “I’m sorry, it was my fault, I’m sorry” over and over again.

Now Inuyasha was really worried. He didn’t know what could have caused a reaction like that from the girl in his arms and that frightened him. He tried everything he could think of, anything he had ever seen women do with upset children, to try to comfort her. He held her, nervously rubbed his hands up and down her back, he even told her she could sit him all she wants and he wouldn’t complain, promised her anything she wanted if she would just please stop crying. Nothing worked. Out of ideas and feeling panicked he allowed his youkai instincts to take control.

He grasped her head, moving it away from his chest before he tilted his head down and began to gently lick her tears away, and then nuzzled her cheek. He then buried his face in the juncture of her neck and shoulder, gently nipping and licking, while a low rumbling sound vibrated out of his chest. This seemed to be the right thing to do as Kagome began to calm down.

Once she had calmed down enough, though the occasional tear still fell, Inuyasha pulled her back to lean against his chest once more and asked her again. As he felt her tense again he pleaded with her “Kagome, I know that it’s painful and you probably don’t want to talk about it, but please, I need to know what happened. I can’t protect you if I don’t know what I’m supposed to protect you from. Please.”

Kagome stayed quiet for a long moment, stunned by the emotion in his voice and the fact that he was practically begging her to tell him what happened. She stared into his eyes and realized that he really did need to know what happened, if only for his own peace of mind. She dropped her gaze from his face, not wanting to see what his reaction would be when she told him. “It-it was K-Kouga.” She then buried her face against his chest again.

Inuyasha saw red. Intense rage flowed through his veins like never before. ‘Kouga. That bastard wolf had the nerve to lay a hand on my Kagome. I’ll fucking kill him. That mangy wolf is dead as soon as I find him.’ Unconsciously, his arms had wrapped around Kagome, holding her protectively against his chest while a low dangerous growl filled the air. Suddenly, he heard Kagome whimper against his chest. He immediately cut off the growl and began to force his rage down. ‘Later, deal with that later. Right now Kagome needs me.’ He again allowed that rumble that soothed her so well to vibrate out of his chest as he worked to calm her down.

However, once the rage was buried and the need to comfort Kagome lessened as she calmed, Inuyasha was left with a feeling of confusion. ‘What could have caused that mangy wolf to attack her? He’s always professing his love for her, so why would he hurt her like this?’ Inuyasha was having a hard time reconciling what he knew, and decided he had to find out more information from Kagome. He hated to do this to her but he needed know. “Kagome” he called and she turned her head to look at him. “Can you please tell me everything that happened from when I transformed?” Seeing her reluctant look he continued “I really do need to know.”

She sighed and then nodded. She told him about how he transformed after the lizard youkai spat that stuff onto the Tessaiga. She told him about how she was nervous, not knowing what had caused him to transform and unsure about how she would be able to change him back. “That’s when Kouga showed up. At first he acted the same as he always does, grabbing my hands and asking me how I was, and calling me his woman. I didn't want to deal with him and was thinking of a way to get rid of him...” She trailed off, frowning. “There was something strange about him. I think it had to do with his shards.” She bit her lip then shook her head. “Before I could determine what it was I was distracted and we both turned to look at where you were fighting the lizard. I, er, asked him if he could help you but that’s when things changed. He just stared at me, like he was seeing me for the first time. But not. It was like I was a piece of meat.” She shuddered, remembering the feeling of his eyes on her. Inuyasha growled again and she hurried to continue. “Then he said something about letting you protect his woman for long enough and grabbed me, taking off through the forest. I was startled at first but after a moment or two I began to struggle and demand that he put me down. He stopped and put me down but got angry when I demanded he bring me back to where you were.”

Kagome paused, taking a deep breath. “He told me I was never going to see you again, that he wouldn’t allow it. He told me I had to obey him, that I was his woman. I got angry and slapped him, I told him that I wasn’t his woman and that he couldn’t order me around, and then I turned to walk back to where you were. That’s when he grabbed me and slapped me hard enough to knock me to the ground.” Inuyasha growled low at hearing that. Kagome ignored him, continuing on. “There was really something wrong with him at that point. His aura was so dark” she shuddered again.

Kagome continued to tell Inuyasha what had happened. About how she told Kouga that she didn’t like him like that, that she was in love with someone else. She blushed and looked away when she said that, and Inuyasha felt a pang of sadness and hurt as he wondered who she could be in love with. “But Kouga said that it didn’t matter, that he didn’t care, and that I would be his whether I wanted to or not. He had me backed against a tree at this point and then he said he was going to claim me right then and there. I panicked and kneed him where it hurts, and then I tried to run.” Inuyasha felt a flash of satisfaction and pride at the thought of her kneeing the wolf.

“But he was too fast for me. He tackled me to the ground and hit me again” Inuyasha was having a hard time controlling his rage at hearing how Kouga had hit her, “and told me I would pay for that. H-he started to tear off my clothes, not caring when his claws tore my skin as well.” At this point Kagome was crying again as she tried to continue the story. Inuyasha tightened his grip on her to let her know that he was there and she was safe, while repeating in his head ‘He’s dead. As soon as I find him I’ll rip him apart. He’s fucking dead.’ “I was begging him to stop, to not do this but he ignored me. I remember calling for you at one point” Inuyasha flinched at this, feeling guilty for not being there to protect her, “and he really didn’t like that. He hit me again and told me never to say your name again, that you weren’t coming. That’s when I felt him reaching down and removing that fur kilt he wears while positioning himself between my l-legs. I managed to knock him off me and again I tried to run. He forced me to the ground, and punched me in my side. H-he told m-me that if I w-wanted to play r-rough, then t-that’s the way it would b-b-be. He f-forced me onto my hands and kn-knees a-and…”

Kagome broke off crying too hard to continue. She buried her face against Inuyasha’s chest, sobbing and saying “I’m sorry” over and over again. She kept apologizing, saying she tried to fight him but he was too strong. Inuyasha was enraged at the thought that she had gone through all of this because he wasn’t there to protect her. He tried to soothe her but even the rumbling from his chest failed to calm her this time. So he held her and repeated over her mantra of apologies that “It’s not your fault, you did nothing wrong, it’s not your fault.”

They stayed like that for several long minutes with Kagome repeatedly apologizing while Inuyasha repeatedly told her she had nothing to be sorry for. This cycle was only broken when Kagome felt several warm, wet drops hit the top of her head. Startled, she went silent as she quickly looked up at Inuyasha’s face, and was shocked to see tears rolling out of his eyes. She slowly raised a hand to the tear tracks staining his cheeks and looked at him in shocked wonder. “Inu-Inuyasha?” she asked him shakily.

In response, he lowered his forehead down to rest against hers, staring her straight in the eyes. “It is not your fault Kagome” he told her firmly. “You did nothing wrong and have nothing to be sorry for. It was Kouga’s fault and the blame lies squarely with him for doing this in the first place.” Then he sighed and closed his eyes in pain. “And the blame also lies with me for not being there to protect you.”

Kagome was shocked by this statement and began shaking her head in denial. “No Inuyasha, none of this was your fault. You can’t be with me every second of every day. You had no idea that this was going to happen. And besides, you did protect me.”

With that Kagome took a deep breath and began to continue telling the events of the previous day. “Kouga was about to r-rape me, and then suddenly, he was no longer behind me. I know that I should have run but my whole body was aching and I couldn’t bring myself to move, so I just lay there for I’m not sure how long. I could hear what sounded like fighting but couldn’t bring myself to care. The next thing that I am really aware of is looking up and seeing you crouched above me.” She blushed as she told him the next part. “I threw myself into your arms, relieved to see you. I didn’t even realize that you were still a full youkai until I looked at your face when I heard you growl.”

She looked down at the rosary around his neck and began to play with it as she continued, not wanting to see his face as she told the next part. “I was nervous and a little bit afraid when I realized that but it quickly passed when you didn’t do anything to hurt me. Instead, it seemed like you were trying to comfort me. You kept nuzzling and licking my neck, and you made that noise in your chest, the same one you made earlier, to calm me down. After a few minutes, you picked me up and carried me to a stream where you washed me and took care of my wounds.” Her face was bright red as she remembered exactly how he had taken care of them.

“I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I remember is waking up in this cave on a pile of your clothes. You were leaning over me and offering me food. I tried to talk to you but you didn’t seem to understand. You brought me back over to where I had been sleeping before, laying down behind me and holding me. When I got nervous you again tried to comfort me until I fell asleep. I guess you fell asleep as well, and when you did you changed back.” Kagome quieted down and looked away now that her story was complete. She was unsure about how he would react to hearing about how he had acted while in his transformed state.

Meanwhile, it was an understatement to say that Inuyasha was surprised by how he had acted in his transformed state. ‘Some part of me must have recognized her. I didn’t threaten her once, and I tried to comfort and take care of her.’ He was definitely surprised to hear how gently his youkai form had treated her. ‘Maybe I don’t have to worry about hurting her if I ever lose control.’

He buried his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent to help him relax. Only then did it occur to him that she was still in heat. ‘I-I didn’t force myself on her, even transformed into a full youkai.  My instincts must have been driving me wild, but even as a full youkai I cared enough about her to not act on them.’ He gave a start at this realization.

Kagome's sudden gasp startled him out of his thoughts. “Oh no! The shards!” She cringed, thinking about how angry Inuyasha was going to be with her.

Inuyasha bit back a curse of frustration. All that work down the drain. But he wasn't going to blame Kagome. “It's alright, it wasn't your fault. We'll just have to track them down again.”

Kagome could only gape at him. “Y-you're not mad that I lost them?” He shook his head. “Alright, who are you and what have you done with the real Inuyasha?” she joked weakly.

“Baka” he snorted. “I'm not going to blame you for that. Just something else to blame on Kouga.”

She sighed, then frowned. “Wait, I can sense the shards nearby.” She looked around and spotted his kosode on their 'nest'. “There” she pointed.

Inuyasha reached out without disturbing Kagome on his lap and snagged his kosode, dragging it over to where they were seated. He soon fished a bundle out of it.

Kagome sighed in relief when she saw the bottle of shards. “Good there all still here. What?” she questioned when she spotted another shard and a small scrap of her uniform as well. Frowning she picked up the shard watching as the slight taint dissipated. “I guess you must have picked it up after defeating the youkai. And if you smelled my scent on the bottle, it's possible you grabbed it as well.” She shrugged, having no other explanation. “But what's that?” she asked pointing at he scrap of cloth.

Inuyasha frowned as he held the cloth. He didn't like the aura emanating from it. Carefully unfolding it he saw two more shards. But unlike the other shards which had no taint, or the lone shard from the lizard youkai that had a slight taint, these were pitch black.

Kagome gasped in shock. She reached out a hand to take the shards but Inuyasha snatched them away. “Inuyasha! I have to purify them.”

Reluctantly, for he didn't want her anywhere near them in that state, he handed them over, sighing in relief when she easily purified them with a touch. That didn't stop him from checking her over for any ill consequences.

Kagome fingered the shards thoughtfully. “These must have been Kouga's. But for them to be so tainted” she shuddered. “No wonder he acted the way he did. I should never have let him hold onto them for so long.” She frowned. “But I know they weren't that tainted when he first came up to me. I mean, now I know it was the taint that I was sensing. But I didn't know what it was at first and if they had been that tainted then I definitely would have realized.”

Inuyasha thought about it. “His actions made the taint worse.”
“What?”

“We've seen in the past how bad acts worsen the taint in the jewel. When he attacked you like that it made the taint worse, which made his actions worse, and so the cycle repeated.”

Kagome thought it over and nodded. Now she felt even worse. This whole thing really was her fault. If she hadn't led Kouga on, if she hadn't let him keep the shards, none of this would have happened.

Inuyasha frowned when he noticed the change in her scent. ‘Why am I still detecting shame in her scent? Doesn’t she realize that none of this is her fault?’

“Kagome?” he called to get her attention. When she looked at him he continued. “You know that none of this is your fault, right? The blame lies completely with Kouga.”

Kagome couldn’t help it. Just when she thought she had no more tears left in her, she began to cry again. “It is my fault. Maybe if I hadn’t been leading Kouga on this wouldn’t have happened. I should have told him off a long time ago but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, I thought he was my friend. And I should have definitely taken the shards from him.”

Inuyasha soothed her with that rumble again. “Shh. It's not your fault. There is nothing you could have done different. You were just trying to be nice, to spare his feelings. You wouldn’t be you if you had acted differently. As for the shards, you know he wouldn't have just handed them over. Not without a fight. And that is one thing you always tried to prevent. And it wouldn’t have changed anything anyway. That wolf is stubborn and would have kept trying to claim you anyway. It is not your fault.”

She cried against him, getting it all out of her system as she finally began to accept his words and release the feelings of guilt and shame. But a question burned through her mind and she voiced it, needing to know the answer. “Why, Inuyasha, why? Why did he do this to me? What made him change? Even if the shards were tainted, why would he suddenly attack me like that? How could he do this when he claimed to love me?”

Inuyasha continued to hold her, letting her pour out all of her feelings to him, knowing that she needed to get it out of her system in order to start to heal. He felt his heart breaking at the pain and misery in her voice as she asked him why over and over again. Sighing, he tucked her head under his chin and began to explain as best as he could.

“He didn’t love you. He might have thought he did but he couldn’t have or he wouldn’t have tried to force himself on you after you told him no. If he really loved you, he would not have wanted to hurt you like that. I think he liked the idea of loving you, and what you could bring to his pack to make him stronger. I know that he didn’t love you, because if he did he would have been able to fight down his instincts and control himself. Even the taint of the shards wouldn't have been enough to make him attack the one he loved.”

“What do you mean Inuyasha? Why would he have to fight his instincts?” Kagome asked.

Inuyasha sighed. He hadn’t wanted to admit this to her. “You are in heat, Kagome. When you are like this you give off the most wonderfully intoxicating scent. Any demon that gets close will be able to smell it and feel the instinct to take you. Usually it’s not a problem, you are either in your own time or we have the others with us and other demons are reluctant to approach close enough to catch your scent. That’s why I was so against going on this errand for the baba. It is a constant struggle to control myself when you smell like this and are so close. But I care about you too much to hurt you like that, to taint you with my worthless self. So I force my instincts down, bury them deep.”

Kagome sat there in shock. She had never guessed that her scent could affect him like he said it does. ‘He said he cares for me, and that he is able to control himself because he cares for me and doesn’t want to hurt me.’ She felt warm inside at this knowledge. But something else he said caught her attention and she glared at him.

Inuyasha saw her glare and misinterpreted it. ‘Now I’ve done it. I practically told her that I love her and have been lusting after her. Now she’s going to hate me.’ His ears drooped on top of his head.

“Inuyasha” she said with anger, tugging on his hair to make him look at her. “What did I tell you about calling yourself worthless?!” He looked at her in surprise. “For the last time don’t let me ever hear you refer to yourself that way again.” She took a deep breath and summoned her courage. “If you were worthless like you say, would I do this?” And with that she tugged his face down so that his lips met hers, and she poured all of her feelings into the kiss.

Inuyasha’s mind went blank as soon as her lips touched his. He couldn’t think, couldn’t move. His whole being was focused on the warm lips pressing against his almost desperately. He felt his instincts rise to the surface and he let them, arms tightening around the girl in his lap as he began to return the kiss. It was better than he had ever imagined but he needed more. His blood began to heat as he opened his lips to taste more of her. He gave a start when he felt her lips part against his, but used it to his advantage to slip his tongue into her mouth, tasting and exploring. He moaned against her mouth and felt an answering moan from her. His hands moved of their own volition, one hand clutching the back of her head, holding it to his, while the other slid down to cup her backside, pressing her more deeply against him. He felt her hands wrap around his neck as the kiss deepened, becoming more passionate. He breathed her scent in deeply, feeling his loins throb almost painfully, and he knew it would be so easy to take her now, with only his hakama and haori separating them from each other-

He broke the kiss suddenly, hands lifting to her shoulders to push her away. They sat there panting for a moment before he spoke up “K-Kagome, we can’t.”

Tears prickled in her eyes as she scooted away from him. “I-I’m sorry Inuyasha. I shouldn’t have done that. I-I know that I’m n-not the one you w-want.” She mentally cursed herself for being so weak. ‘Stupid. I know he’s in love with Kikyou. Why did I do that?’

Inuyasha was still reeling from the kiss, and trying to force himself under control. ‘That was too close. Any longer and I would not have been able to stop. But that kiss, she is the one who started it. Does that mean that she-‘ His internal musings were interrupted as her words penetrated and he looked at her, startled. ‘How can she think I don’t want her after that?’

“Kagome” he called but she refused to look at him. He sighed and reached for her, dragging her back against his chest. “Baka, how can you think I don’t want you after a kiss like that? But you are still in heat, and if we didn’t stop right then, I wouldn’t have been able to stop at all.” He shifted her against him so that she could feel his erection press against the side of her leg. He watched as her eyes widened with realization. “And you are not ready for that yet, especially after yesterday.”

Kagome’s heart was racing as she felt the evidence of his excitement. ‘He- Is that- for me? I made him feel that way?’ She felt aroused at the thought but it was quickly followed by flashes of fear, and she had to concede that he was right, she isn’t ready for that. But she was confused and so questioned him. “But- I thought you loved Kikyou?”

Inuyasha held her against his chest and buried his face in her hair. ‘She doesn’t get it. I’ll have to explain it. Please don’t let me mess this up.’ He raised his head and then tilted her face to look at his. “I care about Kikyou and I owe it to her to make sure she finds her peace. With Naraku dead, all that is left is to restore the jewel and purify it, and then she will be able to rest in peace. But I am not going to hell with her. I have others I care about and have to live for.” His eyes pleaded with her to understand.

Kagome’s heart skipped a beat as she caught his meaning. ‘Does he-?’ She stared into his eyes, seeing all of the emotions he kept buried expressed in those golden globes, and she gasped. “Inu-Inuyasha” she said before throwing her arms around him and holding him tightly, and feeling his arms wrap around her in return. “I l-love you” she managed against his chest.

Inuyasha just held her against him. He felt his heart expand with warmth as he heard her words and he tightened his grip. “I love you too” he whispered into her hair. He continued to hold for a long while. Things might not be perfect between them but everything was going to work out fine as long as they were together. He would protect her, and sometime in the future when she is ready they will move forward together.
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