InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Punishment ❯ Chapter 5: Failing ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5: Failing

 

 

Kagome teased and tormented herself with her problems, and even found a kind of pleasure in doing so. The problems were new, however, and carried with them an unexpectedness that swept her breath away.

 

It seemed so long ago that her present anguish first stirred within her, it had since than grown and accumulated until of late it had come to a head and concentrated itself in the form of a wild and fantastic question. This question tortured his emotions and his reason with its irresistible demands to be answered.

 

Inuyasha's argument struck her like a thunderbolt. It was clear now that the time had come, not to languish in passive suffering, arguing that her problems were insolvable, but to act, act at once and with speed. She must decide on something, come what will, or…

 

“Or renounce life altogether!” she exclaimed suddenly, as if inspired, “submit obediently, once and for all, to destiny, as it is, and stifle everything within oneself, renouncing every right to act, to live or to love!”

 

Suddenly Mamoru's question of the previous day came back to him: `Do you understand, my dear lady, what it is to have nowhere to turn to? For every person must have somewhere to turn to…'

 

Suddenly she gave a shudder; another thought, also from yesterday, had come into his head again. But the shudder was not because the thought had returned. Indeed, she had known, she had foreseen that it would return, and it had been expecting it; but this thought was not quite the same as yesterday's.

 

The difference was that, a month earlier, and even yesterday, it had been no more than a bad dream, but now…it was revealed as no dream, but in a new, unfamiliar, and terrible form; and she had suddenly become conscious of this fact…her head throbbed and things went dark before her eyes.

 

She glanced hastily around, looking for something. She needed to sit down and was looking for a pleasant enough spot. She was walking along the edge of the woods when she spotted a grassy area. Kagome never reached the spot of grass; she collapsed a few feet away and lay there for the better part of a couple hours after.

 

Now, it so happens that before Inuyasha had woke Kagome with his promises of food, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Souta and Kaede had taken Inuyasha aside to have a discussion on the topic of Kagome's health. This is what transpired:

 

“Inuyasha, surely you, of all people, have noticed the change in Kagome's behavior?” Miroku inquired.

 

Miroku had just brought Inuyasha into Kaede's hut with an offer of conversation. Sango and the others were seated in the far end of the hut discussing among themselves. All conversation stopped when the monk and the hanyou entered the door.

 

“What the hell is going on here?” Inuyasha demanded.

 

“Inuyasha, please calm down, we only want to talk.” Sango assured him.

 

Inuyasha walked over to Sango and scooped Shippo out of her arms, since Kagome had abandoned her surrogate mother position, Inuyasha had been the primary caretaker for the child.

 

“Inuyasha?” Shippo spoke up when at last Inuyasha had settled down.

 

“Keh, I suppose you're going to tell me you think I should talk to her too?”

 

“You're the only one that ever gets her to feel better; she won't listen to any of us.” Shippo reasoned.

 

“And you think I haven't tried? I just don't know what's wrong; she refuses to talk to me even…”

 

“We have seen Kagome take a loss before, but none of us has ever seen something affect her…this bad.” Miroku kept an eye on Souta in the corner as he spoke.

 

Souta had constantly believed that it was his fault, he had deprived Kagome of her family, and though he had lost them as well, Kagome had seemed to be affected the most. Souta stared at the wall the entire time Miroku spoke, believing what he said to be true.

 

“Lad, ye mustn't be hard on yourself, ye did not know the consequences of your actions.” Kaede's kind words had no affect on Souta.

 

“Than why is she still mad at me?” Souta's voice cracked more than once and he just barely chocked out the last bit of the sentence.

 

Sango saw that he was on the verge of tears, “I don't think…I know that Kagome could never be mad at you, Souta. She's just upset; she knows it wasn't your fault…”

 

“Than whose fault was it if not mine?” Souta's question silenced the group, none had a satisfactory answer.

 

“Souta…” Miroku began

 

“No! She's barely talked to me for over a month! If it isn't my fault, than whose?” Souta half ran, half tripped out of the hut into the daylight where he ran to the room that had been built for him after Kagome had refused him access to hers, claiming it was too small.

 

“Perhaps the child has a point, what else, if not the loss of her family, could be affecting Kagome so?” Kaede said.

 

“What else could it be, besides that damn kid's mistake?” Inuyasha said bitterly.

 

Though he and Souta had always been on rather good terms, Inuyasha also blamed Souta for Kagome's condition.

 

“Inuyasha, we must not treat Souta as such. He made a mistake but has repented and begged forgiveness many times, as you well know. He cannot be blamed anymore.” Miroku defended Souta on many such occasions, seeing the pains the child had gone through to cleanse himself of his mistake.

 

“But nothing else happened to her to have this kind of an effect.” Shippo stirred in Inuyasha's arms, Inuyasha looked down to readjust the kit to a more comfortable position, seeing as he had fallen asleep during the conversation.

 

It was a known fact that Shippo tended not to sleep or eat when he was worried, so the past few weeks had been exceptionally hard on him.

 

“Can you think of nothing, Inuyasha?” Miroku asked.

 

“Why me?” Inuyasha looked bewildered, “You all are with her all the time too!”

 

“True, but we do not have the kind of relationship you two have, Inuyasha.”

 

“And just what the hell kind of relationship would that be, monk?” Inuyasha dared Miroku to make any kind of joke about Kagome and him.

 

“Just talk to the girl, Inuyasha. She still feels love for you.” Kaede saw that the opposite was also true by the rising color in Inuyasha's cheeks.

 

“Keh, don't know what the hell you're talking about.” Inuyasha turned his gaze away.

 

“So what should I say to her this time that will make it so different than all the others?” Inuyasha asked, trying to avoid the subject of Souta, inside, he felt the boy had repaid his debt many times over, but could not rid himself of the revulsion he felt for Souta as long as Kagome was sick.

 

“Just try to reason with her, Inuyasha. Kagome is a smart girl; she will see what she is doing to her family and friends. I'm afraid of putting more blame on her but; it may be the only way to shock her out of whatever she is going through.” Sango said nervously, as if what she was doing was pushing the line slightly.

 

“Keh,” Inuyasha stood and walked out of the tent.

 

“Where are you going, Inuyasha?” Sango asked.

 

“He's asleep.” Inuyasha explained, motioning to the sleeping child in his arms. Inuyasha headed toward another of the new installments to the village where he and Shippo slept. It was right next to the smaller one Kagome occupied.

 

Miroku noticed that Inuyasha had grabbed the food they had saved for Kagome when she had come back late the following night, and saw him enter Kagome's hut with much hesitation. Miroku and Sango smiled at each other, perhaps this day wouldn't bring disaster as had all the other days before.

 

 

A/N

Just to clarify to some of my readers,

If you notice two distinct and different writing styles in this story,

It is because my friend and I are cooperating on it.

Most of the actual story line is written by him and the parts with a lot of angst and drama are me.

Example: the first part of this chapter is my doing and the second half is my friends.

Thank you for reading it this far.

I hope you will like the rest.