InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Punishment ❯ Chapter 6: Emotions ( Chapter 6 )

Chapter 6: Emotions

 

 

Kagome woke early the next morning in her own bed. Inuyasha sat in a corner with his eyes closed and a scowl on his face. He appeared to be sleeping, but one could never know.

 

Kagome trained her sleepy, unfocused eyes on the hanyou. Studying his every curve, every flaw that once made him so attractive to her. Now she felt nothing. An emotional void, part of her was gone, the part that could love and hate, that could feel happiness and cry as well.

 

In spite of the loss, Kagome felt no anger or sadness. She only felt drained and depressed. It was this reason she shunned her friends and family.

 

Kagome got up softly and walked to the door, with one last glance at the sleeping hanyou. He shifted his position and muttered under his breath. It was only one word and barely audible so that Kagome could not have heard it had she not been so close.

 

“…'Gome…”

 

A pang of guilt shot through Kagome, it was Inuyasha, after all, who had been faithful, even after she had tried her best to keep him away.

 

Kagome absentmindedly walked through the village. The people who passed her were of no consequence. That is, until she came upon a young girl wandering aimlessly along the throng of people.

 

At first she paid her no more attention than she had given before to all the other objects which had passed before her eyes. She had grown used, for example, to arriving at her house, as she often did, without having any idea of how she had come there. But there was something so strange and striking, even at first glance, about this women walking along, that little by little her attention became fixed on her, at first unwittingly and with some vexation, and than with more and more concentration.

 

Suddenly she felt a desire to know just what it was that was strange about her. To begin with, she seemed to be no more than a girl, and she was walking through the blazing heat bare footed, waving her arms about strangely.

 

Her dress was of a thin, silken material, but it also looked rather odd; it was not properly fastened, and near the waist at the back, at the top of the skirt, there was a tear, and a great piece of material was hanging loose. A shawl had been flung around her neck and hung crooked and lopsided. To top everything, her gait was unsteady and she stumbled and even staggered from side to side.

 

The encounter had by now fully engaged Kagome's attention. She came up with the girl close to a small, empty hut; she went up to it and let herself fall to the ground beside it, resting her head against the wall and closing her eyes as if overcome with weariness. Looking closely at her, Kagome realized at once that she was quite drunk.

 

It was a strange, sad sight; she even thought she must be mistaken. Before her she saw the face of a very young girl, of sixteen, or perhaps only fifteen or so, small, pretty, fair-haired; but the face looked swollen and inflamed. The girl seemed to have little understanding of her surroundings; she crossed one leg over another, displaying more than was seemly, and to all appearances hardly realized where she was.

 

Kagome did not sit down, but stood irresolutely in front of her, not wanting to go away. This area of the village is usually always deserted, but now in the middle of the afternoon, and in such heat, it was almost empty.

 

Fifteen yards away, however, a gentleman had stopped at the edge of another hut, a little to one side, and it was plain that he was desirous of approaching the girl for some purpose. He too had probably seen her from some distance and followed her, but Kagome's presence hampered him.

 

He cast bad-tempered glances at her, yet tried not to be observed doing so, and impatiently awaited his opportunity when the vexatious intrusion of this poor girl should cease. He was a man of about thirty, thick-set and plump, with a pink and white complexion and red lips. Kagome was seized with a desire to make herself offensive to the fat man. She left the girl for a moment and went up to the gentleman.

 

“Hey, you…what do you want here?” She exclaimed, clenching her fists and grinning with lips that foamed with rage.

 

“What does this mean?” Asked the gentleman sternly, frowning with haughty astonishment.

 

“Clear off! That's what it means.”

 

“How dare you, little girl?”

 

He flourished a walking stick. Kagome threw himself at the man with both fists, without stopping to consider that the stout gentleman was capable of dealing with three of her. But at that moment he was firmly seized from behind; another tall gentleman stood between them.

 

“That's enough, gentleman! Oh, I'm sorry ma'am…what do you want? Who are you?” He turned to Kagome, sternly surveying her odd clothes.

 

Kagome looked at him attentively. He had a manly, soldier's face, with a graying moustache and a sensible expression.

 

“What do I want? I want you!” She exclaimed, seizing his arm. “My name is Kagome…You may as well know, too,” he added turning to the gentleman. “But come along here, I have something to show you.”

 

And she pulled the man by the arm towards where the girl was sitting against the hut.

 

“There, look, she's quite drunk; she has just come along that way there; Heaven knows who she is, but she can hardly be a professional. More like somebody made her drunk and abused her…do you understand me?...for the first time…and than turned her out onto the streets like this. Look, her dress is torn; look how it is put on; clearly she didn't dress herself, she was dressed by somebody else, and dressed by somebody else, unskillful hands, masculine hands. That is plain. And now look over here; that overdressed scoundrel that I was trying to fight is a stranger to me, this is the first time I have seen him, but he saw her as well, just now, this drunken girl, in no condition to take care of herself, and now he is aching to come and get hold of her…since she is in such a state…and take her off somewhere. It really is so; believe me, I am not mistaken. I saw him watching her and following her, but I was in his way, and now he is simply waiting for me to go. Look, now he's moved a bit farther away, and stopped as if he wanted to spy on our movements…how are we to keep her out of his hands? How can we get her home? Try to think!”

 

The man had understood at once, and now he was considering. The stout gentleman's position was, of course, clear; there remained the girl. He stooped down to look at her more closely, and sincere compassion showed in his face.

 

“Ah, it's a great pity!” He said, shaking his head, “She's no more than a child. She's been led astray, that's true enough. Listen, miss,” he went on to her, “Where do you live?” The girl opened her tired, bleary eyes, looked dully at her questioners, and waved them away with her hands.

 

“Listen,” said Kagome, “you must take her home. Only we must get to know the address.”

 

“Young lady, young lady!” Began the man again, “I'll take you home myself. But where to, eh? Where do you live?”

 

“Pshaw! ...Pestering me…” muttered the girl with another wave of the hand.

 

“It's a bad business! Oh, how shameful this is, young lady, what a disgrace!” he began to shake his head with a mixture of pity and indignation. “You know, this is a bit of a problem,” he added, turning to Kagome and again enveloping her with a quick glance. Probably she seemed more than a little strange too, a girl willing to help this stranger and with her dirty, worn clothes.

 

“Was she far from here when you found her?” asked the man.

 

“I tell you she was reeling along past the hut just here in front of me. When she came to the hut she just slumped down against it.”

 

“Oh, what shameful things there are in the world now. Such a simple young thing, and drunk already! She's been betrayed, that's what it is; look how her kimono is torn…what wickedness there is nowadays! …Maybe she belonged to decent people once, poor ones perhaps…lots of things like this happen nowadays. She looks as if she had been quite nicely brought up, almost like a real nice young lady.” And he stooped over her again.

 

Perhaps he had daughters like her himself, who were `nicely brought up, like young lady's', had good manners and copied all the new fashions.

 

“The main thing,” said Kagome anxiously, “is to keep her out of that scoundrel's hand. He would only dishonor her again. It's quite plain what he wants; look, he's not going away, the wretch.”

 

Kagome spoke loudly and pointed straight at him. The man heard him and seemed on the point of loosing his temper again, but thought better of it and contented himself with a scornful glance. Than he slowly moved away ten yards and stopped again.

 

“Well, that can be managed.” Answered the man, but with some hesitancy. “If she would only tell us where to take her—otherwise…young lady, young lady!” And he stooped down to her again.

 

Suddenly the girl opened her eyes wide, with an attentive expression, as though she had just grasped something. She got up from the floor and started back in the direction they had come from. “Pah! They have no shame, they keep on pestering me,” she said, with another wave of her hand.

 

She walked quickly, staggering as she had before. Keeping his eyes fixed on her, the stalking gentleman followed, but at a distance.

 

“Be easy, I will not let him!” said the man resolutely, turning to follow them. “Eh, what wickedness there is nowadays!” he repeated aloud with a sigh.

 

At this moment an instantaneous revulsion of feeling seemed as it were to sting Kagome.

 

“No, listen!” She cried after the mustached man.

 

He turned around.

 

“Stop! What is it to you? Drop it! Let him amuse himself!” (She pointed at the gentleman) “What business is it of yours?”

 

The man stared uncomprehendingly. Kagome laughed.

 

“Eh!” said the man, and with a gesture of his hand followed the girl and the man, evidently taking Kagome for a lunatic, or worse.

 

“He's gone off,” said Kagome bitterly, when he was alone, “Now he can take something from the other as well, and let the girl go with him, and that will be the end of it…why did I take it on myself to interfere? Was it right for me to try and help? Let them eat one another alive, what is it to me? And how dared I give away my time, was it mine to give?”

 

In spite of these words, she felt depressed. She sat down in the now vacant alleyway. Her thoughts were still disconnected, and indeed, he felt too weary at that moment to think at all, on whatever subject. She would have liked to forget herself, to forget everything in sleep, and than to wake up and make a fresh start.

 

“Poor girl!” she said, looking at the place where the girl sat just minutes ago. “When she comes to herself there will be tears, and than her mother will get to know…First she will get a thrashing, than she will be beaten, painfully and shamefully, and perhaps she will even be driven out…And even if she isn't, more dishonorable men will find her and she will be hunted this way and that…Than will come the hospital (that's always the way with these girls when they live with very respectable mothers and have to take their fun on the side), well, and than…and the hospital again…and more drunkenness…the hospital once more…a wreck in two or three years, her life finished at no more than eighteen or nineteen years old…haven't I seen others like her on the news in my own time? And what became of them? That's what became of them…Pah! Let it go! They say it must be so. Such a percentage, I learned, must go every year… somewhere or other…to the devil, I suppose, so that the rest may be left in peace and quiet. A percentage! Once you've said “a percentage” there is no need to worry anymore. If you used a different word, why than perhaps…it might be disturbing…and what if one of my friends is included in the percentage? …If not in one, than in another? …”

 

`But where am I going' she thought suddenly, `it's strange, I must have come for some reason. I came right after I thought of…I was going to the slayers village, to Midoriko's cave, I remember now. But why? How did the idea of going to see Midoriko come to enter my head just at this moment? It's very odd!'

 

He wondered at himself.

 

`Yes, I did think not so long ago of going to see Midoriko again.' Kagome began to remember.

 

The question of why she had began to go see Midoriko troubled her more than she herself recognized; she looked uneasily for some meaning in this, it would seem, quite natural step.

 

`Why did I think I could solve everything with a simple trip to Midoriko. Did I think I had found a way out of all my difficulties?' she asked herself in some astonishment.

 

She went on thinking and rubbing her forehead and than, after a long time, unexpectedly and almost of its own accord, an extremely strange idea came into her head.

 

“Hm…I will go,” She said suddenly and composedly, as if she had reached a definite decision, “I will go to see Midoriko, of course…but, not now. I will go to see her, the day after, when that is over and done with and everything is different…”

 

Than she realized what she had just said.

 

“After?” She cried, jumping up from the ground, “But, when…if it ever happens…Can it really be going to happen? If it ever happens…I won't even be around anymore…”

 

 

 

 

A/N

I know, this doesn't really seem like Kagome,

But has anyone ever thought what her life would belike if the jewel was gone?

The well closing is a given, but no one has ever addressed the fact that she would be losing a presence that she has had ever since she was born.

Kagome has always had at least a shard of the jewel around, and thus the presence of Midoriko has always been there to comfort her.

She may not have realized the presence was there, but if it was gone she sure would notice it.

Now try and tell me that wouldn't have an effect on Kagome.

That's about it.

Later.