InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 2: Defiance ❯ My Father's Son ( Chapter 9 )

~~Chapter 9~~

~My Father's Son~

 

~*~

 

 

Drumming claws on the arm of the sofa, Toga stared at the telephone, trying to make up his mind. He'd been debating for the better part of an hour, whether or not he ought to just do it and get it over with. In the end, it wouldn't matter. Sesshoumaru was nothing if not stubborn to a fault. Even if he did let Toga's whereabouts slip to Fujiko's brothers, there was no way he'd ever admit it. Still, they had to find out from someone, and, in Toga's opinion, that was taking things a little too far.

 

`Damn it, Father . . .'

 

After finding out what Sesshoumaru had done to chase Lily out of his life years ago, Toga couldn't help but wonder if this was another ploy . . . and if it was . . .

 

Still, Toga couldn't quite believe that his father would send anyone after him. It was one thing to pay someone off. It was another thing to send thugs after him . . .

 

With a sigh, he stood and dropped the phone onto the sofa as he retrieved his brief case. After the disaster in the park the night before, Toga hadn't seen Sierra. He'd tried to call her earlier but she didn't answer. He'd even called her cell phone. She hadn't answered that, either.

 

Reminding himself again that he really didn't have any sort of claim on Sierra and that she really didn't have to tell him where she was every single moment of every single day, Toga didn't feel any better about any of it, and he couldn't hold back the small growl that rumbled out of him when he thought too hard about the things she could be out doing.

 

`You're inu-youkai, you know. You could track her if you really wanted to . . .'

 

Toga sighed. Sure, he could do that. Of course, explaining how he just happened to be wherever she was wouldn't be easy and how would it seem if she thought he was checking up on her?

 

He did grin slightly though. Part of his training early on had been instruction on tracking. He'd thought it was all a game at the time. The lessons were normally given by Uncle Yasha and usually involved locating hidden items in InuYasha's Forest. Toga's favorites had been the bags of candies that Aunt Gome had made especially for the hunt.

 

“How am I s'pposed to find this stuff?” eight year-old Toga asked as he stared up at his uncle as the two headed into the forest.

 

InuYasha looked vaguely amused as his eyes shifted over the surrounding forest. “You'll have to use your nose, pup.”

 

Toga frowned. “Papa says I sniff stuff too much already,” he remarked as he shook his head in confusion.

 

Uncle Yasha snorted. “There's a difference between sniffing out something you're tracking and sniffing your sister's hair.”

 

Toga wrinkled his tiny nose and rubbed his fist against it. “I don't sniff Aiko! She smells like a girl!”

 

“Listen. We're hoping you never need to know how to do this, but just in case, we figured you'd best know.”

 

“Uncle Yasha?”

 

“What?”

 

“Have you ever had to sniff anything out?”

 

A wan smile filtered over his uncle's face, an irony in his expression that Toga didn't understand for years to come. “Keh. Of course I have. Where I grew up, it wasn't an option not to. If I hadn't, then I'd have been killed early on.”

 

“Did Papa teach you how to track?”

 

InuYasha shrugged. “No . . . I taught myself.”

 

“Is that why you call Papa a bas—?”

 

“Keh! Go track your candy or we'll be out here all damn day.”

 

Toga chuckled despite himself as he snapped out of his memories. Uncle Yasha had single-handedly taught him more curse words than he'd ever heard come out of anyone else's mouth, ever—a fact that Sesshoumaru had never truly appreciated.

 

The phone rang. Toga snatched it up and grinned at the name on the caller ID. After clicking the `talk' button, he brought the receiver to his ear and greeted his aunt. “Aunt Gome . . . I was just thinking about you and Uncle.”

 

“Uh oh . . . is that good?”

 

“Sure. I was thinking about Uncle teaching me how to track. Is something wrong?”

 

Kagome giggled. “No, nothing's wrong. I was just thinking about you . . . and wondering if you were coming to your sister's wedding?”

 

Toga winced. “Let me guess: Mother though you'd have better luck guilting me into this?”

 

“Not guilting . . . how about persuading?”

 

Rubbing his forehead with a tired hand, Toga sighed. “I'll be there.”

 

“I'm glad to hear that. Your mother will be so relieved.”

 

He heard the reluctant preoccupation in her tone and braced himself for whatever it was that Kagome was trying to find a way to ask him. He had a decent guess . . . `I may need to sharpen my claws at that wedding . . .' he thought as two identical twin hanyou faces flashed through his mind.

 

“The boys told me that you have a new friend,” she finally ventured.

 

“Did they? Remind me to thank them.”

 

“You want to tell me about her?”

 

Honestly, he'd love to. He'd love to shout Sierra's praises from the highest mountain peaks. He also didn't want to put Kagome in the situation where she would have to keep secrets from his mother and father, either. “I'd rather not.”

 

Kagome sighed. “Toga . . . you know InuYasha and I . . . and your parents . . . we just want you to be happy. I realize you don't believe that about your father, and, well, I have to admit, he's being a bit of a baka about the whole thing. He really does want what's best for you, but it's up to you to show him who or what that might be.”

 

“It's not that simple. Did Father tell you what he did? That he flew over here just to deal me a ration of shit?”

 

“No . . . your mother did, though. For what it's worth, InuYasha gave him an earful for that.”

 

“Good ol' Uncle Yasha.”

 

“Yeah, well, he threatened a little Tetsusaiga shoving . . .”

 

Toga laughed. “Did he? Remind me to send him something nice for Christmas.”

 

“Remember, it doesn't take that much provocation for InuYasha to try to pick a fight with your father.”

 

Toga laughed louder. “I have to admit, I really do wish I'd witnessed some of the better ones I've heard about.”

 

“Ugh . . . what is it with you inu-youkai? You're all so bloodthirsty.”

 

“Must be the dog part . . .”

 

“Speaking of dogs . . . did you really run this girl's dog over?”

 

Toga winced. “Uh, yeah.”

 

Kagome moaned. “Oh, Toga . . . InuYasha wasn't impressed.”

 

“I didn't do it on purpose.”

 

“I know, but you know InuYasha . . . I thought he was going to stay depressed forever when Dammit died.”

 

Toga made a face. He remembered that, too. Dammit the dog had died when he was fifteen, and InuYasha really had been upset over it for a few months. Toga supposed it was just because InuYasha, himself, had trouble opening up to many people, and when he finally did, then he considered them family unconditionally. It wasn't any different with the dog. Add to that the fact that inu-youkai could understand dogs' abbreviated speech patterns, and, well, InuYasha hadn't lost a pet. He'd lost a family member. InuYasha might only be half inu-youkai but in the end, it didn't matter. The only thing InuYasha couldn't do was transform into the larger dog form or the lesser ability of dissolving into the youkai energy form, and those were things that no youkai did anymore.

 

“Is she pretty?”

 

Snapped out of his musings by Kagome's casual question, Toga couldn't help but smile. “She's beautiful.”

 

“I don't even know why I asked that. She'd have to be, to have made such an impression on you.”

 

A soft knock on the door interrupted Toga's chuckles. “Just a second,” he called as he got up. “I hate to cut you short, Aunt Gome, but—”

 

“That's fine . . . Toga? Just one last thing?”

 

“All right.”

 

“If this girl makes you happy, if she's the one you want? Don't let your father interfere.”

 

Toga grinned. “Thanks.”

 

“Love you.”

 

“You, too. Tell Uncle Yasha I said hi.”

 

“I will. Bye.”

 

Toga hung up the phone and dashed over to the door, but he didn't reach it before two things registered in his mind as he wrestled with the deadbolt lock: Sierra was on the other side of that door, and she was crying.

 

Yanking the door open wide, he didn't get the chance to say hello or to invite her in. Throwing herself against his chest, she sobbed, clutching his shirt as he helplessly wrapped his arms around her and clumsily tried to comfort her.

 

He heard footsteps on the stairwell and grimaced. Not wanting any of his neighbors to see her like this, Toga picked her up and brought her inside, kicking the door closed with his foot as he strode around the sofa to sit down with her in his lap. “Is it so bad?” he asked gently pushing her back to smooth her hair out of her face.

 

She shook her head then nodded then shrugged before letting her head fall against his chest again.

 

“All right,” he told her.

 

It took several minutes before Sierra managed to stop crying. Reduced to sniffles and hiccups, she wiped her eyes with a crumpled tissue and tried to draw a deep breath. “I'm s-s-sorry,” she mumbled.

 

“You want to tell me about it?”

 

She shrugged and hiccupped again. “It's stupid,” she assured him, frowning at her own upset state. “I'm such a girl.”

 

Toga chuckled despite himself and was rewarded with a small, watery smile. “I can't argue with that.”

 

She sniffled and shook her head miserably. “I got a call yesterday . . . from my father.”

 

Toga frowned. In one of their many discussions, he knew she'd said that her father had died a few years ago. “Your father?”

 

Swatting at her misting eyes with a completely irritated scowl on her features, Sierra shrugged almost belligerently moments before her bottom lip trembled precariously. “My biological father, I guess . . . He said he wants to come see me, and I . . . Toga, I can't . . . I don't want to, but then I feel guilty, and . . .” More tears rose in her eyes, and Toga winced. “What do I do?” she squeaked in a tiny voice that turned his wince into a near-whine.

 

“You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, right?”

 

“That's just it,” she half-sobbed. “I don't know what I want . . . I don't want to see him. I don't want to meet him . . .” Grimacing, she squeezed her eyes closed and made a token attempt to beat a balled-up fist against his chest. He barely felt it. “I don't want to, and yet I do, because I want to know why, you know? Why wasn't I . . . good enough? Why didn't they want me . . .?”

 

“I can't imagine anyone not wanting you,” he murmured, loathing the feeling of utter helplessness that he couldn't ignore—despising himself for the blatant feeling of inadequacy that he couldn't tolerate.

 

“Why . . .? Then my mom . . . oh, it'd kill her . . .” She shook her head miserably. “I didn't know where else to go . . . and . . . oh, I'm sorry . . . I shouldn't have unloaded on you, but—”

 

“Don't be sorry,” Toga told her, smoothing her hair back off her face, wiping her tears with the pads of his thumbs. The absolute pain in her eyes dug at him, and in that moment, in that instant, he knew that there was nothing that he wouldn't do to shelter her from anything—that he . . . that he would protect her, even if it cost him everything he had . . . “I can't tell you what to do, but I'll . . . I'll protect you, if you'll let me.”

 

She suddenly choked out a weak laugh. “Protect me? From what?”

 

Toga smoothed her hair back, wiped her tears away with gentle fingers. “Anything that would hurt you.”

 

She managed a tumultuous smile at his words, and he could feel the absolute sorrow that had held onto her so very tightly start to loosen its grip. Settling against him, she sighed quietly, her body jerking now and again as she wound down to sniffles and hiccups. Tucking her head under his chin, she relaxed slowly, and for a moment, Toga wondered if she were going to go to sleep.

 

“Toga?” she whispered, as though she feared the sound of her voice in the quiet.

 

“Hmm?” he murmured, burying his lips in her hair as he gently smoothed it.

 

She sighed, cuddling just a little closer though he wasn't at all certain that she'd even realized what she'd done. “I'm . . . I'm sorry . . .”

 

“Don't be,” he said in a quiet yet firm tone. “Sierra . . . if you need me . . . I want to be here for you . . . with you . . .”

 

“Do you?” she asked, her voice almost bemused. He nodded, tightening his arms around her. “For now?”

 

“For as long as you'll have me,” he replied. He just hoped that she would have him for a very long time.

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

Toga stared down at the sleeping girl. So exhausted from her upset that she'd fallen asleep against his chest, he smiled as he ran his finger along her jaw-line. She sighed but didn't stir. She felt so very perfect, snuggled against him, and that thought was enough to both thrill him and scare the life out of him, too.

 

He'd made her the promise.

 

With a sad little smile, Toga rubbed his cheek against her hair. Did she understand the significance of his promise? Would she ever realize what it meant? Raised as he had been with his father as well as Uncle Yasha, Toga had learned early on that to the inu-youkai, the most significant promise one could make to another was the promise of protection. Sesshoumaru had made it to Kagura. InuYasha had done the same with Kagome. Now Toga had done it, too, and once given, it was a promise that could not be taken back.

 

`As binding as mating, Toga. Be careful to whom you make this vow.'

 

His father's words echoed through his head. His smile was bittersweet, sad. `Father . . . why can't you just be happy that I found someone who makes me feel . . . everything?'

 

That was it, wasn't it? Sierra with her shy smiles and generous laughter . . . she'd somehow insinuated herself into the very air he breathed. He'd wondered so many times how it would feel, to fall in love with someone so utterly, so completely, that everything about them became a part of him—the things he'd been able to sense in his aunt and uncle from the very start.

 

His parents had it, too: this elusive thing. A bond that was thicker, stronger than any words could ever create, the merging of their lives had created a world where they were one in heart, in soul . . .

 

But if that really were the case, how could his father expect Toga to want any less from a mate? How could he think, even for a moment, that Toga could settle when he'd always known, and what he'd learned was done by example? Seeing his aunt and uncle—even seeing his mother and father . . . and maybe that was the real reason that the idea of mating someone just because she was full-youkai had been so unacceptable.

 

The glint of resolve lit in Toga's gaze. Steely, unwavering . . . `Father will have to accept it. I've made my choice.'

 

Carefully maneuvering Sierra so that she was curled up on the sofa, Toga headed back to his bedroom to grab a blanket for her. Cocking his head to the side as he stared at his bed, he considered Sierra. So forlorn, so sad . . . He'd had moments when he had felt like she did now. Though they were few and far between, he'd had them, certainly. Looking back now, those insular moments seemed a bit silly. When his uncle had married his aunt, he'd been inconsolable, hadn't he? It was impossible not to be drawn to Kagome. Warm, vibrant, caring . . . she was his first true crush . . .

 

He'd gotten into a fight in primary school . . . dragged into it because he was trying to protect his baka cousins, Toga had been the one to draw the ire of his formidable father. “It's entirely unacceptable,” Sesshoumaru had lectured as Toga stared at his feet, as a bitter surge of anger seethed and roiled deep inside. Outraged that he was the one in trouble when he'd only been doing what he'd been told—protect those who are weaker because they cannot—he hadn't understood Sesshoumaru's true motives; the real reason why he'd lectured Toga that day. As the next tai-youkai—as the next Inu no Taisho—Toga was stronger than any other child his age, and it was for that very reason that he'd been punished for fighting.

 

And there were other moments, too . . . scraped knees, bruised egos . . . and all those times, there was one constant, wasn't there? The thing that had always seemed to offer him the most comfort back then . . .

 

Pulling his Mokomoko-sama out of the closet, he chuckled softly as he remembered the time he'd offered it to another who had needed the same sort of solace . . .

 

At five years old, Toga hadn't realized that some things couldn't be fixed by seeking the comfort of the black fur cape. Uncle Yasha had seemed so sad that day, high in the boughs of the tree. He'd taken Toga with him into that tree, and unable to understand his uncle's upset, Toga had offered the only thing he'd had.

 

“When I'm sad, I snuggle this. Do you want it?” Toga asked, pushing Mokomoko-sama into his uncle's face.

 

Leaning to the side to stare in wonder at him, Uncle Yasha slowly smiled. “Thanks, pup. This is yours, though. You'd better keep it.”

 

Toga chuckled again as the reverie faded away. Taking the soft fur cape, he strode back into the living room and carefully spread it over Sierra's sleeping form. Hunkering down beside her, staring at her relaxed expression, he savored the sense of absolute peace that she brought to him.

 

Sesshoumaru's favorite phrase whispered in his mind. `Toga . . . you are your father's son.'

 

How often had he heard that over the years? The highest of praise, Toga supposed, to be acknowledged as such, not only by Sesshoumaru, his father, but also by Sesshoumaru, the Inu no Taisho.

 

The trouble was, Toga wasn't sorry in the least. He couldn't tell himself how to feel any better than Sesshoumaru could dictate the same to him. Some things were beyond the decrees of Inutaisho Sesshoumaru, and this was one of those things.

 

Stubborn, proud, unwavering in his beliefs, strong in the face of adversity . . . Toga's grin turned sardonic. “Perhaps, in this . . . I am my father's son . . .'

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

Sierra awoke slowly. Something tickled her chin. She didn't remember falling asleep. Come to think of it, she didn't remember much of anything in the last couple days. It all seemed a little blurry, especially after that phone call . . . But something definitely tickled . . . something soft and warm and . . . nice . . . She yawned and slowly opened her eyes.

 

Wrapped in a glossy black furry blanket of sorts, Sierra couldn't help her smile as she snuggled the fur-like covering against her cheek. She'd never seen a blanket quite like that before. It almost reminded her of some sort of animal pelt. Possessing a certain comforting quality, for a minute she almost believed that nothing could hurt her if she didn't let go of the fur.

 

Shaking her head at the capriciousness of her own thoughts, she couldn't quite credit the inner sense of contentment that cosseted her. Shifting her gaze around the cozy living room, Sierra frowned when her eyes lit on Toga. Sitting up with his back against the wall, arms folded together over on his raised knees, she uttered a soft sound of dismay as she grabbed the blanket and unwrapped herself off the sofa.

 

Sinking down next to him and spreading the blanket over the both of them, Sierra carefully tugged on his shoulders to settle him more comfortably against her. He uttered a soft whining noise at the forced change but didn't wake right away.

 

Gently running her fingers through his bangs, Sierra smiled. There was something altogether calming about Toga, himself, she decided. As if just being with him made everything better, like his strength somehow managed to bolster her own. Enigmatic and complex, hidden behind a shy smile and beautiful eyes, she felt as though his heart spoke to hers.

 

She sighed as her smile faded. Why had she felt the need to come here? Saturday, after the phone call, she had locked herself into her room, scared to even touch the phone when it rang. When the evening shadows had fallen, though, she'd been overcome with the need to see Toga. Why had she felt so pathetic as she stood outside his door? Pathetic enough to break down in tears all over again . . .

 

Did she want to meet her biological father? Why? It certainly wouldn't change anything. He'd never be her daddy, and she'd end up hurting her family: the only family she'd ever known. Her gaze dropped back to Toga's face. Relaxed in sleep, he seemed younger, more vulnerable.

 

Shifting a little to make him more comfortable, Sierra's smile resurfaced.

 

“If you're uncomfortable, I can move.”

 

Sierra gasped. He still hadn't opened his eyes. She had no idea that he was awake. “Did I wake you up?” she asked, trying not to feel so guilty.

 

He rolled over onto his back and chuckled as his eyes slowly fluttered open. “It's all right. Did you sleep well?”

 

She nodded. “This blanket is amazing. What is it made of?”

 

A mysterious look passed over his features, almost a worried expression. “I don't know . . . I've always had it . . .”

 

“Very nice,” she stated. “I think it helped me sleep.”

 

Toga looked surprised. “Really?”

 

“It's comfortable . . . reminds me of Dennis . . . It doesn't feel the same . . . I think I just felt better, when he was there . . .” He stiffened at the mention of the deceased dog. Sierra winced. “I'm sorry . . . I wasn't trying to make you feel bad . . .”

 

“Uh . . . that's all right . . .”

 

She made a face and sighed. “I'm sorry about last night, too . . . I don't know why I came over like that . . .”

 

“Keh!” he snorted, his eyes brightening as though he were troubled. “No, I'm glad you did. Do you want to talk about it?”

 

She shrugged. “I don't know.” Staring at her hands with a frown, Sierra sighed again and shook her head slowly. “If I . . . if I do go . . . you wouldn't . . . go with me, would you?”

 

Toga blinked as though her question caught him off guard, and when he spoke, there was a quiet since of wonder in his voice. “If you want me to.”

 

The calm that she'd felt since she woke up swelled and grew around her, as Toga's words suddenly infiltrated her mind. “I can't tell you what to do, but I'll . . . I'll protect you, if you'll let me . . . from anything that would hurt you.”

 

He would, wouldn't he? She could see it in his eyes. A vicious surge shot through her, rattled her. What would she do if he weren't there? The unsettling cold that sent a chill down her spine was enough to make her want to grab him, to hold onto him, to make him promise that he'd never, ever leave her alone.

 

But just as quickly as the concern had come, it dissipated. Almost as though some unseen force had brushed all of her worries aside, the naïve belief that Toga really could protect her was enough, wasn't it?

 

Sierra smoothed his hair back off his face and smiled. Shaky and weak but genuine and heartfelt, she smiled. “Toga . . . Thank you.”

 

 

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A/N:

Mokomoko-sama… The FLUFF!!

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Reviewers

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chichiwvu (MMorg) :

 

I wanted to point out here, that chichiwvu is the writer of the Toga oneshot `Crushed'that first introduces Lily… so… Lily is her creation, and you really ought to read it if you can. Itis housed either on MMorg authorname chichiwvu or on FFnet in my Toga oneshot collection, with full author credit, of course!

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RadiosNmyHead (MMorg):
I do love our dear Toga, and of course his lovely creator, the talented Ms Sueric. Now I can't see Toga finding a way to get Sierra to Japan without outrage... but I can't see him leaving her here without doubts arising on her part. And you do love to instill doubt. Anyway, I'm so glad that he finally got to show his true face! Those markings are so adorable. Now, I haven't read The Lucky Ones, but comparing work is not a very good idea because nobody likes to hear it be implied that they stole their style of writing from somebody, even if that was not what the person was intending to say. How much has Rin aged? I can't really remember from Purity. Is she going to show up along with Shippou? I suppose she's going to the wedding. Who is she marrying by the way?

 

Yes, I'm sure that Shippou and Rin will be at the wedding . . . along with EVERYONE else . . . As for Sierra . . . hrmmmmm…..It wasn't really implied that I'd `stolen'anything from TLO…just weird constant comparisons that do tend to get a bit bothersome. Terri Botta is a very talented writer. However to compare fics is like comparing apples and oranges. You can't really do it without making it seem a little weird . . . Thanks for the lovely review, Radio! BTW.. patiently::cough cough:: awaiting another update to Drifting …

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renatanocis (MMorg) :
I. Love. Toga. That being said--is Toga going to bring Sierra to his sister's wedding? Or is he going to “spare her”, and not let his father meet her just yet? It doesn't seem like Sesshoumaru could make Sierra go away like he did Lily. Rrrrr... Sesshoumaru is being such a hypocrite! I also really like your OTHER original character, Sierra. I hope Toga can tell her soon--she seems like the kind of person who would be really upset to have something like that kept from them for a long time.

 

I am still not positive about this . . . He may ask her to go, even if she can't . . . It depends on how much trouble it would cause at the time … LOL!

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Realangel (FFnet) :

I don't really know why I was so hesitant to read this story because I love all your stories is this is turning out to be no exception! I am completely drawn in by Toga's character. I love how the twins completely lose their minds when their parents aren't looking...Shame...shame..(poor Gin...she really is NEVER gonna have a date.) But, anyway enough with my rantings...back to the chapter...when is Toga gonna kiss Sierra?...I think it would be so cute!!...But, what's probably more important is when is he gonna tell her about his *um* canine traits?!?...lol... When Toga took off his concealment, could anyone see his ears?...I don't know they weren't mentioned...and isn't it true that anyone that sees Toga without his concealment, will see him in his true form from now on?...I wonder how Sierra will handle that one...

 

Gin… yes… poor girl… lol…. Toga will eventually get around to kissin' lol…. Ears… Toga's ears don't show. His ears are covered by his hair… there's a picture linked to the mediaminer version of this story… if you want to know what he looks like… LoL!! No, she didn't know that was his true form, so she can't see it…BUT… things are starting to happen, and I think she may see through his disguise . . . sooner or later . . .

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MMorg

cj flutterbye (Sierra at the wedding? Hmmm… Seriously … no sure yet… ) ------ DarklessVasion ------ Kadaede ------ jennifer_luvs_fluffy

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FFnet

Flames101 ------ BloodyKitsune ------ kestral-tudorica ------ Rinicat ------ Hitomeshy ------ grand admiral chelli

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AFFnet ------ AScom

Sess_2005 ------ Teresa ------ Crazy Fan S.S. ------ akdreamer ----- Midnight_Sparrow ------ Hikaru

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Final Thought from Sierra:

Hmm… They should market those blankets …

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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Defiance): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

 

~Sue~