InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 3: Forever ❯ Absolution ( Chapter 19 )

~~Chapter 19~~

~Absolution~

 

Ryomaru stood just inside the stairwell in the darkened shadows hidden behind the thick door and leaning away from the glass pane as he quirked his ears and sniffed for traces of his mother's scent.

 

`Hiding, Ryo?'

 

`Damn straight, I'm hiding. The old man just yells. Mother can purify my ass . . .'

 

Ears twitching as he heard a door open and close, Ryomaru inched over so he could peer through the window. Kagome shook her head slowly, a distinct scowl on her face, as she strode past the stairwell to the elevator. Moments later, he felt the rumble as the pulley carted the metal box up to the twenty-fifth floor.

 

He heard the heavy metal doors slide open, heard Kagome get into the elevator. The doors closed with a low rumble as Ryomaru pushed open the door and stepped into the hallway. With a sigh, he strode over to Nezumi's apartment and winced. `All right . . . I didn't think . . . she'll listen, right?'

 

He had a feeling that was wishful thinking on his part. Knowing Nezumi, if she was still upset, then she was closing in quickly on `rip him a new one'---if she wasn't already there. If she was already there . . . `Kami help me . . .'

 

Drawing a deep breath, Ryomaru reached for the doorknob and turned. Nezumi hadn't locked it, and it opened without a hitch. She wasn't in the living room. “Nez?”

 

He pushed the door closed and sniffed the air. Following her scent outside onto the balcony, he found her leaning on the railing as she stared around the city. Ears flattening against his head as she shot him a bland glance, he hesitated before daring a step closer. “I, uh, guess I should have warned you.”

 

“Nah, I can see why you didn't. You know, trying to kill each other and all . . . seems normal enough to me.”

 

`Still upset. I can work with that . . .'

 

“I didn't think. The fighting . . . My family always does that. It's just normal for me. I forgot about you. I should have realized it would upset you, and . . . I'm sorry.”

 

Brushing her hair out of her face, Nezumi swallowed hard and bit her bottom lip, as though she were considering something. “It's fine,” she bit out tightly. “Just forget it.”

 

“I would,” he agreed slowly, “if I believed that you really were fine with it.”

 

“That's just it, you know. It doesn't matter if I'm fine with it. You didn't think about it because it is normal to you. Give me some credit, Ryo. I'm not that stupid.”

 

“You ain't stupid at all. So . . . you forgive me?”

 

She turned around and shrugged as she leaned back, resting her forearms on the railing. “Can't really hold your ignorance against you, can I?”

 

He shrugged and wrinkled his nose. “Ain't stopped you before.”

 

“Yeah, I'm growing more tolerant in my old age.”

 

“Old age, huh?”

 

Nezumi finally smiled. It was thin, and it was wan, but it was still a smile. “I think your mother's madder than I am.”

 

Ryomaru winced. “Yeah, I figured that.”

 

“You want to go back over there? I'm . . . I'm okay now.”

 

“We could just . . . stay here . . . I should probably avoid Mother for a day . . . or longer.”

 

“Now who's the coward?”

 

Ryomaru shrugged. “'Coward' ain't got a thing to do with it. The old man always said not to piss her off. It's called `self-preservation'.”

 

“Your mother is the sweetest woman alive!”

 

“Sure, she is. She's also got a temper. I've seen it. She doesn't lose it often, but when she does . . .”

 

Nezumi didn't look like she believed him.

 

Ryomaru sighed. “That kotodama rosary the old man wears?”

 

She nodded slowly, and he could tell from her expression that she had wondered about the old bead necklace InuYasha wore.

 

“It used to have a spell on it. Whenever Mother said a certain word, the old man would end up flat in the dirt, and the madder she was, the harder he hit the ground. They've told me he made more than one crater from the impact.”

 

Nezumi looked skeptical. “What was the word?”

 

Ryomaru tried not to grin since it really wasn't funny. The irony wasn't lost on him, though, and in the end, he cracked a smile. “Osuwari.”

 

Nezumi rolled her eyes. “All right, now I know you're pulling my leg.”

 

“No, really. Ask him. To this day, he cringes when Mother says it. I'm telling you, you don't mess with a miko, especially Mother.”

 

“How'd the curse get removed?” she asked despite the still-doubtful expression on her face.

 

“Mother. Told you she's a powerful miko.”

 

A strange glint entered Nezumi's gaze. Ryomaru wasn't sure if he trusted it. “So tell me . . . any chance I could get one of those?”

 

Ryomaru snorted. “Feh! Not hardly, Nez! And don't you dare ask her, either.”

 

Nezumi's laughter was full of unspoken menace as she sauntered past him into the apartment.

 

Ears flattening despite his best efforts to prevent it, he slowly followed her back inside. Somehow, he didn't feel like she really had forgiven him . . . not at all . . .

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

Nezumi sat back with the bowl of rice crackers and carefully took aim. “All right, Ryo,” she warned as he shook his head and waved his hands to stop her.

 

“Wwrr!” he mumbled.

 

“Oh, come on! You've only got ten in there,” she goaded as she held up a bite-sized, star-shaped cracker. “You know you can fit more than that in there.”

 

“Eth!”

 

She tossed a cracker at him. He caught it in his mouth despite the almost irritated look on his face. Nezumi laughed. “You didn't have to catch that,” she remarked as he chewed up the crackers and swallowed.

 

“I did, too,” he grumbled as he caught another flying cracker. “Inthinkt.”

 

She blinked in surprise. “Instinct? What do you mean?”

 

He blushed as he made a face. “Dog, Nez,” he reminded her after he'd swallowed that cracker, too. “I can't help it. You throw it, I'll catch it . . . food, that is.”

 

She laughed, tossing another cracker at him for good measure. Come to think of it, he really did always try to catch whatever food she chucked at him. In fact, she couldn't remember a time when he didn't try. It had started innocently enough. She'd been eating grapes one afternoon, and Ryo, who had been trying to put the chain back on his bicycle, told her to throw one to him since his hands were covered in grease.

 

Nezumi giggled at the memory. In the end, she'd been the one to put the chain back on the bike. She supposed some things never changed.

 

Throwing another cracker at Ryomaru and laughing when he caught it despite the comical glare on his features, Nezumi set the bowl aside and popped a cracker into her mouth.

 

“That's just mean,” he grumbled as he twitched his ears and sat back, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“Forget it, Ryo. Pouting doesn't work on me,” she taunted.

 

“Really mean.”

 

Rolling her eyes, Nezumi brushed her hands off and grabbed for the remote control. Ryomaru was faster, and he grinned smugly as he held the remote out of her reach. “Oi! Give it!”

 

“Come get it,” he teased.

 

“You don't think I will?”

 

“Just bring it, wench.”

 

Lunging toward him, she braced herself against his chest as she struggled to grab the remote. He draped his free arm around her and laughed as she bit her bottom lip and scowled in concentration. “I'm not fighting over the remote for my television!”

 

“Wanna bet?”

 

“Ryo!”

 

“Nez!”

 

He pulled the remote away from her wiggling fingers. Grabbing his wrist in one hand, she pulled as she leaned against him and managed to stretch up enough to grasp the remote control.

 

“Uh, Nez?”

 

“What?” she asked, ignoring the slight hint of near-panic that gave his voice a slightly rasping quality.

 

“Damn.”

 

“Huh?” Leaning back as far as his arm would allow her, Nezumi frowned as she peeked over her arm to glance at his face. Eyes squeezed closed as a deep scowl darkened his expression, he looked like he was fighting something inside himself, and Nezumi slowly shook her head. “Ryo? Is something the matter?”

 

Ryomaru sighed. “Nope.”

 

She frowned at his choked tone. “Are you sure? Do you need to lie down? You look a little . . . weird.”

 

Cautiously, he cracked his eyes open, raising his gaze to lock with hers. Eyes glowing with an independent light, he didn't hide the intensity behind his expression as the seconds ticked away. “R-Ryo?”

 

“Kiss me, Nez.”

 

His quiet entreaty shot through her like a hurricane wind, upsetting her equilibrium as she forgot to breathe. `Get a hold of yourself, Nez! You know him---what he is, what he does . . . Are you really going to fall for that?' She swallowed hard, tried to look away but couldn't. “Don't ask me to do that,” she whispered.

 

“Why not?”

 

“You know why not.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“. . . Yes.”

 

“Never took you for a---”

 

“Don't say it!”

 

“---Coward.”

 

She could see in his eyes, in his expression, that he knew he wasn't being fair, that he was counting on her inability to ignore the blatant barb. She just couldn't do it, damn it, and he knew it. “Fine,” she bit out, trying to repress the all-too-nice trembling that erupted in her belly at the idea of being goaded into kissing the hanyou. `Fast, Nez . . . he didn't say you have to kiss him long . . .'

 

`Right. Fast. Piece of cake. Fast.'

 

She leaned down, brushed her lips against his in what was supposed to be little more than a quick peck. She should have known better. She should have known that the instant her lips touched his, Ryomaru's arms would suddenly wrap around her, hold her still, hold her tight, and he refused to let the kiss fade.

 

The remote control dug into her back. She didn't care. The feel of his mouth on hers had a bemusing affect. Her hands gripped his shoulders as he pulled her closer. Capturing her bottom lip between his teeth, he uttered a low growl, almost a groan---a possessive sound that made Nezumi feel as though she were melting.

 

Tongue flicking against her, Ryomaru didn't give her a chance to think as he grazed his teeth, his fangs over her. She shivered at the contact, mind skittering away as he relinquished his claim before recapturing her lips in a scorch of heat and light. An ache spiraled through her body, reverberating out in vicious waves only to return again, stronger and more insistent, to the part of her that needed, demanded, pulsed.

 

Nudging her lips apart, he tasted her, another growl rumbling through him as he gently pushed her back. She had a feeling that she should stop him. A whispery voice was telling her to push him away. `Why? Why would I want to do that?' she wondered absently, her mind too befuddled to think straight. Ryomaru's lips trailed along her chin, down her throat as he nudged her head aside. All Nezumi could do was cling to him, hold onto him, giving herself up to the fire that raged through her, the consuming combination of sensation and emotion.

 

The tumult of feeling was overwhelming. The scrape of his fangs over her skin evoked a twinge, a shiver, a thousand bolts of desire so strong that she whimpered softly, whispered his name. His answer was a hiss of breath, the brush of air both hot and cool. He was paradox in motion. The contradiction of will and want collided in her if she could dare to accept him on his terms.

 

He leaned away, stared down at her, a solemn expression warring with the light of passion that flowed through him. Nezumi tried to steady her breathing, resisting the desire to touch him, to smooth the lines that formed between his eyebrows as he frowned. “Nez . . . You aren't ready, are you?”

 

She didn't know how to answer him. Learning way too quickly that something as powerful as desire couldn't be put away as quickly as it had been ignited, she tried to ignore Ryomaru's proximity, tried to tell herself that it was better, that she should be thankful. It was impossible, however, to ignore the sudden irritation, the rush of disappointment that she told herself she had no business feeling. “Get off me, Ryo,” she growled, unable to contain the frustration that settled over her.

 

His ears flattened, and he winced as he sat up quickly, retreating to the other side of the sofa. Nezumi pushed herself up and straightened her rumpled black sweatshirt with a trembling hand.

 

With a sigh, he stood up, grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair and headed for the door. “I'll be back,” he called over his shoulder, voice still strangled, harsh. “I'll get dinner.”

 

She stared at the door after he left as she tried to brush aside the feeling that she had done something very wrong. The look in his eyes wouldn't go away. He hadn't wanted to stop. He'd stopped for her, and as thankful as she ought to be, she just . . . wasn't.

 

`Because you didn't really want him to stop. You know you didn't.'

 

So maybe she didn't want him to stop. It didn't mean she wanted to do that, either. `I could have let him,' she reasoned with a slight shake of her head as she drew her legs up and rested her chin on her raised knees. `I could have given him that, but . . . What about when he gets tired of me? He'll move on, and I . . . I can't do that, can I?'

 

How many times had she wished that she could change the way she felt about him? How many nights had she stared at the ceiling long after Ryomaru had gone home, wishing that she didn't . . . that she didn't love him?

 

`I can't remember a time when he wasn't there . . . I can't remember not loving him . . . I can't remember when it didn't hurt . . .'

 

And it would be so simple, wouldn't it? If she gave in, it'd be so easy to do. In her heart, she had to admit that it wouldn't be such a terrible thing, to be with him. She wanted it. It was a matter of what she could stand to give up in the process because this time the stakes were higher than she wanted to imagine.

 

This time, Ryomaru was at stake, and she wasn't sure if she could take that risk at all.

 

 

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A/N:

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Final Thought from Ryomaru:

Daaaaaaaaamn …

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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Forever): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

 

~Sue~