InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 3: Forever ❯ Negotiations ( Chapter 29 )

~~Chapter 29~~

~Negotiations~

 

Nezumi sat on the edge of her bed with a hand covering her mouth as she willed away the vivid memory of the angry slashes that tore the flesh of Ryomaru's back. The vision made her stomach turn over as a wave of nausea rolled through her. Swallowing the bile that rose in her throat, Nezumi slowly shook her head. `I should have known he'd get hurt, right? I mean, if he . . . hunts youkai . . . He'd have to get hurt sometime.'

 

Sure. Right. Of course. She just hadn't realized it. She hadn't really wanted to realize it. It made it all a little too real, a little too close.

 

`But you're going to have to deal with that, Nez. You're going to have to because it isn't going to change.'

 

No, it wouldn't.

 

`And the next time? If he comes home torn up and bloody? How am I supposed to deal with that? How am I going to pretend it doesn't bother me? I know he's tough but . . . How tough is he really? If I lost him . . .'

 

She grimaced. That was unfair. She knew it was. She knew how selfish and stupid her thoughts were and yet the fear wouldn't let go. Rising to choke her, closing in on her like a stifling mist, the terror that welled up inside her wasn't rational, couldn't be driven away with positive thinking or blind belief. Ryomaru was the one true constant in her life. If she lost him . . .

 

`If I lose him, I lose everything . . .'

 

The lacerations on his skin were deep enough that she wondered if he didn't need stitches, and though they weren't bleeding, they looked like they could use a thorough cleaning.

 

“Nez, my folks are coming over.”

 

She looked up at him, tried to read his expression. Clouded by a cautious sense of sadness, he was staring past her at the window as he idly toyed with the nipple stud. Nezumi shook her head and tried not to smile. “Will you stop that?”

 

“Stop what?” he asked, gaze finally meeting hers.

 

She rolled her eyes and fluttered a hand toward his pinching fingers. “That.”

 

He glanced down and jerked his hand away from the barbell stud, snorting loudly as he started buttoning his shirt instead. “Oh. Sorry.”

 

Nezumi sighed. “Ryo?”

 

“Hmm?” he muttered as he concentrated on the buttons.

 

“Do you . . . do you get hurt a lot?”

 

He looked like he was going to start bragging then seemed to realize that would be a bad thing to do. In the end, he shrugged, ears twitching almost nervously as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Sometimes. Not too bad though. There were three cats this time. Damn cowards . . .”

 

“I see.” Nezumi nodded slowly as she watched Yukitora rub against Ryomaru's leg.

 

He ignored the kitten, eyes intent and focused on Nezumi instead. “They ambushed me.”

 

“So . . . when your uncle calls you and you leave . . . do I have to worry about you?”

 

Ryomaru sighed, ears flattening as he tried to find a way to reassure her. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head. “I've been trained, Nez. Worry a little, maybe, but I . . . I'll always come home, okay?”

 

Nezumi didn't get a chance to respond when the chime of the doorbell rattled through the house. Ryomaru made a face as he shot her a hopeless glance and strode out of the room. She watched him go and swallowed hard. `So what he's saying . . . There's a lot more to it than you realized, isn't there? Can you deal with it?'

 

Good question. Could she?

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

“. . . Probably the stupidest thing you've ever done, and considering the massive amount of stupidity you've instigated in your lifetime, that's saying a hella lot, don't you think?”

 

Ryomaru flattened his ears as he ground his teeth together and concentrated on not snapping back at his father.

 

InuYasha wasn't finished, not even close. “What the fuck were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? You make one idiotic decision after another! Do you know what would have happened if they had tried to test your DNA?”

 

“Yes, Father, I do,” Ryomaru ground out.

 

InuYasha snorted as he prowled the living room. “Feh! And don't `Father', me, damn it!”

 

“InuYasha . . .” Kagome cut in softly. Sitting on the sofa with Nezumi while the kitten played at their feet, she was calm, ever the voice of reason.

 

InuYasha spared her a scathing glance but snorted again. “Just don't do it again, baka.”

 

“Since when have you agreed with Uncle Sesshoumaru?” Ryomaru couldn't help but ask.

 

“Keep it up, Ryo,” InuYasha warned. “This ain't about me. It's about you and the stupid things you do.”

 

“Are you telling me you'd have left her there? Alone? She was dying, and you'd have left her?”

 

InuYasha grimaced and shook his head. “If I was covered in blood and guts? Damn straight I would have.”

 

Ryomaru glanced at Nezumi, wincing as her body stiffened, as he face paled. She didn't comment, but Ryomaru didn't miss the slight tick in her jaw. `Way to go, old man . . . damn it . . .'

 

“What your father is trying to say,” Kagome interrupted again, pinning InuYasha with a pointed look, “is that you need to be more careful in the future. You're good at your job, and that's wonderful, but you were careless, even if it was for an admirable reason.”

 

“Feh!”

 

“I know,” Ryomaru forced himself to say. “I wasn't thinking.”

 

“I'll say.”

 

“InuYasha . . .”

 

Apparently satisfied that he'd made his point, InuYasha glowered at the kitten rubbing up against his legs. He slowly, deliberately lifted his questioning gaze to his son who shrugged offhandedly and wrinkled his nose. “She's kind of stupid,” he explained.

 

“She isn't!” Nezumi argued as she stood up, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“She is. She's the only one that didn't have the sense to run away when I growled at her.”

 

Nezumi rolled her eyes, her commentary stalled when InuYasha hunkered down and grabbed Yukitora's tail. Slowly dragging the kitten in circles as he erupted in a low growling noise, the kitten seemed happy enough to let InuYasha bedevil her. The tiny rumble of the kitten's purring registered in Ryomaru's ears, and he shook his head. “See? Stupid.”

 

“Don't be surprised when that kitten takes a swipe at you,” Kagome remarked casually. “Buyo always did when he got sick of you.”

 

“Nah . . . Ryo's right. This one's stupid,” InuYasha agreed as he grabbed the kitten's tummy and shook her back and forth on the floor. Yukitora purred louder, thus reinforcing Ryomaru's theory that the kitten really was stupid.

 

“InuYasha, you're going to make her mean,” Kagome pointed out reasonably.

 

“I doubt it.”

 

“Well, don't come crying to me if she swats you and you need a bandage.”

 

“Feh! As if!”

 

Kagome rolled her eyes as she stood up. “Come on, InuYasha. Let's give them the housewarming present, and leave that poor kitten alone!”

 

InuYasha snorted but stood back up and followed Kagome into the foyer. The kitten didn't move, and when she saw Ryomaru staring at her, she mewled and waved her paws at him.

 

Nezumi heaved a sigh as Ryomaru dropped to the floor and picked up where his father had left off, rolling the kitten around in a large circle as her hair twisted and bunched against the wood floor. “Yup, you're really stupid,” he grumbled as the kitten's purring grew louder.

 

“She's tolerant,” Nezumi pointed out. “Huge difference.”

 

Ryomaru ducked his head, twitching his ears intentionally as the kitten scampered to her feet and leapt at his head. He laughed when she missed.

 

“I'm not going to feel sorry for you at all if she catches your ears,” Nezumi pointed out.

 

“Feh! I'm too fast for her,” he proclaimed arrogantly as the kitten lunged again. He moved just in time to avoid claws.

 

“We'll see . . . then you'll be the stupid one.”

 

“Ain't gonna happen, wench.”

 

She stood up and wandered off toward the kitchen. “I'm getting a soda, Ryo. Do you want one?”

 

He narrowed his eyes since she knew well enough that he never, ever touched the stuff. “No, thanks.”

 

“Oi, Ryo, help me with this damn thing, will you?”

 

Ryomaru hopped up and hurried over to help InuYasha with the huge flat package. More awkward than heavy, he took one side as they moved it over to the sofa and set it down. “What's this?”

 

“Ask your mother.”

 

Nezumi reemerged from the kitchen with a soda in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. Peering cautiously at the nondescript brown paper wrapped package, she slowly stepped around the sofa to stand beside Ryomaru. “That's . . . big.”

 

“Your father and I had it done for your new house. We hope you like it.”

 

Nezumi glanced at Ryomaru. Ryomaru shrugged. “Go ahead.”

 

She gingerly tugged the paper away from the painting and stepped back to look at it. “Wow . . . we were really little then.”

 

Ryomaru shook his head. “I remember that day,” he said slowly. “That was---”

 

“My birthday.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

She smiled almost sadly. “I still have that car.”

 

“I've never seen this before,” Ryomaru confessed.

 

Kagome laughed. “I got the picture. Your father and I thought it would make a nice painting.”

 

InuYasha snorted as he resumed his bedevilment of the cat. “Meaning that your mother thought it'd be nice and made me pay for it.”

 

Nezumi leaned her head to the side as she continued to stare at the painting. Just for a moment, she turned and smiled at him. Ryomaru felt like someone had yanked the floor out from under him. The plunging sensation in his belly made him cover his stomach with his hand as he took a step back. He wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but he had a feeling it was good.

 

 

-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-0-=-

 

 

It was late.

 

Staring out at the darkness of the night, Ryomaru watched as clouds ebbed over the moon, obscuring the stars and dancing over the sky.

 

`What does it mean? To love her?'

 

He'd been asking himself the same question for hours. It didn't feel that much different. Maybe that was why he hadn't realized it sooner. Maybe he'd always felt the same way about her. It seemed a little stupid, really. How could he not have known?

 

`That's easy, Ryo. It means you do whatever it takes to make her happy.'

 

He scowled. `I . . . I don't know what she wants.'

 

`Ask her. This ain't a game of hide and seek, baka. This is too important, and you aren't gonna get a second chance.'

 

Nezumi had been his world for so long, hadn't she? She was a part of himself, an extension of light in the darkness of the world. He hadn't known a time when she wasn't by his side, and the idea of her worrying about him, about her waiting for him to come home . . .

 

She'd lost so much over time: first her mother, her father's indifference . . . Mitako Yoshi might have done the best he could, but more of Ryomaru's memories were about Nezumi hanging around the Izayoi house. She hated to go home. She hated to be alone. She never said as much. He'd always just known. It was in her eyes when she said goodbye. It was in the slumping of her shoulders as she walked away from the house. It was in the relief in her voice when she answered the phone only to hear his greeting.

 

And hadn't he tried to protect her from that for years? Hadn't he invented reasons for her to come over, jumped at the chance to invite Nezumi along on insignificant family outings?

 

`How long have I felt this way and just didn't know it?'

 

Another thought occurred to him, made him groan as he shook his head and sighed. The parade of women's faces---faces that meant nothing to him now, if they ever had. Nezumi had seen them all.

 

`How do I tell her I'm sorry? Would `sorry' even be enough?'

 

“Ryo? You're still up?”

 

Ryomaru turned at the sound of her voice; soft, whispering. Lost in the tent of an oversized t-shirt and shapeless pajama pants, she shuffled into the room and sat on the window seat next to him.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah . . . fine,” he answered, careful to keep his tone neutral.

 

“Good . . . how's your back?”

 

Caught off guard by her quiet question, Ryomaru glanced at her. Captured by the mellow light in the depths of her darkened gaze, he stared for a moment, unable to find his voice as that strange sense of falling wrapped around his belly once more. “It's fine.”

 

“It looked . . . bad,” she muttered with a soft sigh. “I could . . . I could look at them . . .”

 

“What would make you happy, Nez?”

 

She seemed to be taken aback, and it took a few moments for her to answer his question. “Make me happy?” she echoed with a slight shake of her head. “I don't know what you mean.”

 

He shrugged. “I mean, if there was one thing I could do to make you happy---to make you smile---what would it be?”

 

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and frowned. “What makes you think I'm not happy?”

 

`It means you do whatever it takes to make her happy.'

 

“How often do you have to go on those hunts?” she asked, her tone casual---too casual. Tracing the pattern of the moonlight on the window sill, she carefully avoided his gaze as she waited for his answer.

 

“Whenever they need me.”

 

“I see.”

 

He winced. “Nez . . . I'll quit, if that'll make you happy. If it keeps you from worrying . . . I can do that, for you.”

 

 

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A/N:

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Final Thought from InuYasha:

Yep, that kitten is stupid …

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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Forever): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.

 

~Sue~