InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 4: Justification ❯ Warnings ( Chapter 63 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"I know you're in there.  Open the door . . ."

Cain sighed and let his head fall back against the cold metal.  Closing his eyes as he heaved a long sigh, he waited, listened, willed her to answer him.

Over three days, it'd been, since he'd last seen her face.  The morning after Bellaniece's birthday, he'd gotten up and showered then stared at the cake she'd left on his counter.  She must have made it while she made Bellaniece's birthday cake.  Wincing as it struck him, just how entirely thoughtful the young hanyou woman was, he reached for the telephone, dialed her number.  Uttering a frustrated growl when the happy sound of her voice on the answering machine kicked in, Cain didn't bother leaving a message.

He figured he'd be able to talk to her after class, and he would have, if she had been there.  No, Gin wasn't there, and she'd missed classes the rest of the week.  She wouldn't answer her door though he could feel her there, and she refused to answer her phones.  He'd left countless messages on her answering machine and voicemail.  Talking until he'd run out of room and was cut off, he'd call back and talk more, all in the hopes that she'd answer.  He had considered breaking the door down yesterday.  That'd just make it all that much worse, wouldn't it?

He'd been such a fool; such an ass.  Beautiful Gin, with her heart in her eyes whenever she smiled, whenever she laughed . . . He'd taken that away from her, hadn't he?  He'd broken her and belittled her, and maybe he'd deserve it, if she never opened her door to him again . . .

Unable to sleep, unable to eat, unable to do much of anything but think and worry, to wish in vain that he could take back the hurtful things he'd said to her . . . Cain thumped the back of his head against the door as he slouched a little lower, as he squeezed his eyes closed.  "Come on, baby girl . . . Just open the door . . ."

He wanted to fix it.  He needed to tell her.  Driven by the absolute need to explain to her that he really hadn't meant anything he'd said, and yet he couldn't blame her if she didn't believe him.  He'd done the unforgivable.  She wasn't to blame for his anger or upset.  Gin wouldn't hurt him, and he knew it.  No, he'd just been irked by the comments he had heard, outraged that anyone they thought he'd not done the very best he could with Bellaniece; the irrational sense that they should have known that there was a damn good reason why they didn't celebrate his only child's birthday.  It didn't matter, in the end.  The one person he never wanted to hurt was the one person who had suffered the brunt of his tirade.  The guilt inspired by the memory of Gin's expression haunted him, and even if he didn't deserve a chance to tell her how sorry he was, he wanted one, anyway.  He hadn't meant to hurt her . . .

"Gin, I'm sorry—sorrier than you know . . . Will you let me in?  Let me explain?  Please . . ."

Not a sound, not a whisper of movement.  No shift in her youki to let him know that she heard him at all.  He'd been desperate enough last night to fly around the building, to look in her windows.  He'd seen her in the darkness; the tiny form curled up in her bed.  Wincing at the somber hues of her aura, she'd seemed so distant, so untouchable.  He wasn't sure if it had been worse to see her that way or if it had been more painful, that she'd closed all her windows against him.

Worse, too, was that Bellaniece had known.  Remarking that first morning that he didn't look like he'd slept well, he'd ignored her commentary as he tried to pretend that he hadn't heard her at all.  When she hesitantly asked if he had trouble sleeping because of her birthday party, he shook his head, told her not to be ridiculous . . .

The second morning was no better.  Noticing the lack of cake, Bellaniece had asked him if there was something wrong.  He'd denied that, but she hadn't believed him.  He'd managed to escape further questioning by retreating to the bathroom to shower, and by the time she'd reappeared after work long enough to shower and change to go out for the evening, Cain had been ensconced in his studio under the guise of working.

By the third morning, Bellaniece had to have known that something wasn't right.  He must have looked as bad as he felt because she had gone so far as to feel his forehead for signs of fever.  He'd shot her a dark look for that and pushed her hand away.  He'd told her that he simply hadn't been sleeping well.  She looked like she wanted to argue that, but in the end, she'd squeezed his arm and told him to go find Gin.

If it were only that easy . . .

His body ached.  Lack of sleep, surely . . . Hours spent sitting outside her door hadn't helped, either.  He couldn't remember feeling quite this bad before.  Physically drained, emotionally exhausted . . . He couldn't eat or sleep, couldn't concentrate on anything when his mind was right here, with her . . .

Gin had to come out sometime, didn't she?

Cain sighed.  Of course she did.  Resolved to sit and wait for her to do that, resolved to talk to her, to make her listen to him, he'd taken up his post a few hours ago when he'd given up hope of actually being able to sleep.

'You're stalking her.'

'I'm not stalking her.'

'You're sitting against her door, Zelig. Sounds like stalking to me.'

'Aren't you the one who said I needed to fix this?'

'Sure, but not by sitting outside her door, waiting to pounce on her, and maybe . . .'

''Maybe', what?'

'Maybe it's better this way, Cain.  Maybe . . . Maybe you should just leave well enough alone.  Aren't you the one who believes that she's better off without you?'

Cain smacked his head back against the door again.  Still no sound from within.  'Better off?  Sure, she is.  Of course she is.'

'Then why are you doing this?'

He smiled sadly, shook his head as he opened his eyes and gazed down the empty hallway.  'Because I . . . I need her.  I need her more than she'll ever need me . . .'


Bellaniece opened her bedroom door, her smile bright as she anticipated spending the entire day with Kichiro.  So far as she knew, he hadn't made any plans, and that was fine with her.  It didn't really matter what they did so long as they were together, right?

'Just try to remember that you're a lady.'

'You think I'd forget?'

'Around him?  Yes.'

Her smile widened.  'Can I help it if he adores me?'

'Adores you?  Way to put a nice face on lust, Bellaniece.'

'Not even you can ruin my mood.'

Turning away, Bellaniece stopped short as a frown surfaced when she spotted Cain, slouching in the window, eyes closed, temple resting on the cool glass pane.  She'd thought he was still in bed. She was going to leave him a note explaining that she had offered to help Kichiro catch up on some of his work.  She'd failed to mention, however, that his work was 'research' . . . She hadn't realized he was already up, or was it that he'd never gone to bed?

'Don't be silly.  If he hadn't gone to bed last night, you wouldn't have been able to sneak out to see Kichiro.'

'That's true . . .'

Cain didn't move and didn't notice when Bellaniece approached and knelt beside him.  Thick stubble covered his jaws.  He looked like he hadn't shaved in days.  She grimaced.  In the last few days, she hadn't really noticed much of anything.  So wrapped up in her own little world of discovery with Kichiro, she hadn't spared her father more than a few moments' thought.

"Daddy?  Are you all right?" she'd asked him yesterday morning before she left for work.

"Fine," he said flatly.  "Never better."

"You're sure?"

"Yep, absolutely."

"No cake?  Come to think of it, there wasn't a cake yesterday, either . . . Is everything okay with you and Gin?"

"Gin?  Sure . . . Gin's great."

"Daddy . . ."

He forced a wan smile.  The darkened circles under his eyes gave him an owlish appearance, a haggard bearing that made her flinch.  "You're going to be late if you don't get moving."

He didn't seem to want to tell her anything more, so she kissed his cheek and left him.

Had it really been less than twenty-four hours ago, that she had that conversation with him?  Cheeks sunken slightly under the sharp bristles of whiskers, skin pale, sallow, he looked a lot less like the man she'd come to know as her father.  Why would he look so bad?  She touched his cheek.

Eyes flashing open, he looked completely disoriented.  Grabbing her wrist, he blinked as he stared at her, and it seemed to take him a moment to recognize her.  "Daddy?  Are you okay?" she asked as he loosened his hold on her wrist.

"What?  Oh, yeah . . . fine."

"Why aren't you in bed?"

"Wha . . .?  I must have fallen asleep out here . . ."

Bellaniece winced at the discernible shaking of Cain's hands.  "Daddy?  What's happening?"

"I'm just tired," he maintained.  "Really, really tired . . ."

"Did you and Gin have a fight?"

Cain sighed and untangled his legs as he stood up and stretched with a marked grimace.  "Fight?  Hardly . . . It takes two people to fight, doesn't it?"

"Daddy?"

He shook his head as he pulled a cigarette out his rumpled pack and dug around for a lighter.  Bellaniece grabbed a pack of matches off the dining table and, ignoring the voice in her head that reprimanded her for encouraging her father's bad habits; she stepped toward him, struck a match, and held it up to light his cigarette.  "Thought you hated my smoking."

"I do," she quipped lightly.  "I also know you hate it when I badger you."

"That's never stopped you before."

"If you two didn't have a fight, will you tell me what did happen?"

Cain took a deep drag off his cigarette; hand shaking as he carefully tapped the ash into the heaping tray.  "It's nothing."

"You don't look so hot."

"I told you: I haven't been sleeping so great."

"You know, I haven't really seen Gin since my . . . birthday . . . party . . ." Bellaniece gasped softly, eyes flaring wide as she shook her head, trying to deny what she was starting to grasp.  "That's what it was, wasn't it?  You . . . Daddy, you didn't . . ."

He was going to lie to her.  She could see it in his eyes as he flinched and started to open his mouth to refute her assumptions.

"You got angry at Gin?  Because of me?"

Cain snapped his mouth closed and grimaced.  "What?  No!  Of course not!  Not really, anyway . . ."

"Can you talk to her?  It's been, what?  Three days?"

"Almost four," he grumbled, smashing his cigarette out in the ashtray.

"But why didn't you say something to her after class?"

Casting Bellaniece a look of sheer chagrin, Cain snorted.  "Pfft!  And you don't think that I would have if I could?"

"Then why didn't you?"

He sighed, throwing his hands up in a defeated gesture as he flopped onto the sofa.  "Because she wasn't . . . She wasn't there."

"Did you try to call her?'

That earned her a glower.

"Okay, you tried to call her . . . Did you knock on her door?"

"Bellaniece—"

"Did she know it was you?"

He sighed again.  "Yes, she knew it was me.  She had to.  She doesn't want to see me, and I can't really blame her for that."

"Are you giving up?"

Cain winced and dragged his hands over his face, shoulders slumping, a sadness in his gaze when he finally glanced up at her.  "She's better off without me," he said quietly.

"You don't believe that," Bellaniece chided, sinking onto the sofa beside him.  "Daddy . . . she's your cake fairy."

Cain seemed startled by Bellaniece's statement, but he nodded slowly.  "You're right."

She patted his hand and quickly kissed his cheek.  "Some advice?"

He looked up at her but didn't speak as he waited to hear her pearls of wisdom.  "Okay, I'll bite."

She giggled.  "Try to take a nap.  Those circles under your eyes look bad.  Oh, and another thing?  You might want to shower and shave.  Making up is the best part, isn't it?"

"I'll pretend you didn't just say that," Cain grumbled, cheeks pinking as he stood up and shook his head.

Bellaniece giggled and hugged him.  "I'd stay here and make sure you were presentable, but I promised Dr. Izayoi I'd help him with some stuff."

"Stuff?  What kind of stuff?  And just why have you been spending so much time with Dr. Dog, anyway?"

"We're friends," she assured him.  "He is a really interesting person.  Anyway, there were a few things that he needs to catch up on since we were in Maine for so long," she lied, hoping her father didn't notice.

His preoccupation was evident, and for once, he didn't question Bellaniece further.  "All right.  Just don't stay out too late."

"Of course not, Daddy."  She wiggled her fingers at him as she hurried toward the door.  Outside in the hallway, she stopped and sighed, her smile fading away as she pondered her father's words.  "Yes, she knew it was me.  She had to.  She doesn't want to see me, and I can't really blame her for that."

Gin was home; Bellaniece could feel her aura.  Sadness, loneliness . . . She could sense these things in Gin's youki but couldn't quite discern the underlying emotion.  Before she could talk herself out of it, Bellaniece rapped on the door.  "Gin?  Gin, it's me: Belle . . ."

Pressing her ear against the door didn't help.  Bellaniece scowled and rattled the door knob.  It was locked.  "Gin, Daddy's really worried . . ."

Still no answer.  Bellaniece sighed as she stepped back.  'Daddy'll get her to open the door, right?'

'Of course he will.  Your father will make her listen.'

Bellaniece nodded.  'It's nothing . . . I'm just being paranoid.'

'. . . Sure, you are.'

But she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something that she didn't quite understand.  Bellaniece ran down the stairs and hurried outside into the early morning sunshine that was trying to burn off the perpetual haze that settled over the city.  Hailing a taxi, she asked the driver to take her to InuYasha's Forest—to Kichiro's house.

Staring at the passing buildings as the vehicle crept through the streets, Bellaniece gnawed on her bottom lip.  'Gin's sad and lonely without Daddy . . . but what was that other feeling?'

Try as she might, she couldn't quite place it.  Digging her cell phone out of her purse, Bellaniece dialed Gin's cell phone number.  The voicemail greeted her after the fourth ring, and Bellaniece waited impatiently until Gin's cheerful greeting gave way to the perfunctory beep.  "Gin, this is Belle again.  I was just calling to see what you were doing . . . I'll be over at your brother's house if you need me.  Bye."

Her father's face and cryptic statements filtered through her head again.  He'd looked sad, sure, but there was something else there, too.  He'd seemed like he'd given up hope.  "She's better off without me . . ."

Bellaniece dialed Gin's home phone number and waited as the taxi turned into the narrow path that led into the forest.  The answering machine clicked on, but instead of getting the beep, Bellaniece heard a strange mechanical voice, instead.  "Message center full.  Please try back later."

Dropping a handful of bills over the seat as she snapped her phone closed and stumbled out of the taxi, Bellaniece ran up to the door as she fumbled for the key Kichiro had given her.  The feeling that something was wrong was getting worse by the second.  She only wished she knew why.

Kichiro looked up from the newspaper, pausing with his coffee mug poised at his mouth.  "Something wrong?" he asked before tipping the cup.

Bellaniece dropped her purse on the table and grimaced.  "I hope not."

That got his attention.  Setting the cup aside and folding the paper, he sat back and held out his hands.  "Okay, I'm not getting what you mean, but I'm sure you'll explain."

"First . . . Promise me you let me explain everything before you say anything."

He sighed.  "All right; I promise."

"And you won't get mad till after I'm done."

He crossed his arms over his chest.  "I'm going to be mad about this?"

Bellaniece wrung her hands.  "Maybe . . . Probably . . ."

". . . Okay . . ."

"Coffee!" Bellaniece blurted quickly, hurrying over to grab the coffee carafe and refill his cup.  Kichiro reached over, plucking the carafe from her and set it on the table beside him.  She sighed.  "Do you need anything?  Toast?  Grilled cheese?"

"Belle . . ."

"Sorry," she said as she pulled out a chair to sit down but thought better of it and started pacing the floor instead.  "Do you remember the night I called you?"

"I remember lots of nights when you call me," he remarked with a raised eyebrow.

She completely missed the double-entendre, which should have tipped him off to the severity of her thoughts.  "Remember?  The night you left me at the restaurant?"

He snorted.  "Keh!  I said I was sorry for that, and—"

She waved her hands to shut him up.  "It's not about that," she assured him.  "Just . . . Do you remember why I was so happy?"

He nodded slowly.  "You said your father was on a date with someone . . ."

Bellaniece sucked in her bottom lip before blowing it back out with a gust of air.  "Yeah."

"Are you going to make me drag this out of you?"

"What?  No . . . I just . . . Well, you see, Daddy's been seeing this girl a lot.  A lot: a lot."

"Mhmm."

"But, see, they sort of had a . . . fight . . . Maybe not a fight; more of a disagreement . . ."

"You're really not making much sense."

"I know."

"Why are you telling me about all this?"

"Daddy hasn't seen her in a few days—since the night of my birthday party, I think . . ."

Kichiro shook his head.  "What does that have to do with anything?  Your birthday, I mean."

Bellaniece winced and stopped, leveling a look at Kichiro as she tapped her fingertips together.  "She . . . Well, she sort of . . ."

"Spit it out, princess."

"You promised . . ."

He sighed and held up his hands to show her that he was going to comply with his vow.  Suddenly, he sat up, gaze darkening as he narrowed his eyes on Bellaniece.  "Wait . . . She lives in your building, and she knew about your birthday party?  Oh, kami . . ."

"I-I didn't . . ."

"Damn . . . Your father's been seeing my sister?"

"Well . . ." Bellaniece sighed.  "Yeah."

"Oh, fuck."

"Anyway, no one's seen her in nearly four days, and she won't answer her door, her answering machine is full, and she hasn't been in classes since then, either . . . Kichiro . . ." Bellaniece hurried around the table and sat down, grasping his hand in both of hers.  "I thought maybe . . . I thought you could get her to answer the door."

He didn't respond for a moment.  Staring at her with an incredulous expression, he reached for his cell phone without taking his eyes off Bellaniece.  He didn't look away as he hit Gin's number, programmed into the speed dial, and he heaved a heavy sigh when he obviously got the same message Bellaniece had.  "Holy damn," he muttered as he shot to his feet and strode toward the door.

"Kichiro?"

He stopped and glanced back at her, his expression unreadable as he draped his hands on his hips and scowled around the room.  "Stay here, Belle.  Don't leave."

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?"

She winced but stood up.  "I want to come with you."

He shook his head.  "Stay.  Here."

"But—"

"I'm going to go see what that bastard of a father of yours has done to my sister, Bellaniece.  Stay the fuck here."

". . . Okay . . ."

Grimacing when the door slammed closed moments later, Bellaniece hurried to the window and gasped.  She'd seen Kichiro run before, certainly.  She'd never seen him run so fast, though.

'He's going to hate me,' she thought as she bit her bottom lip and pressed her fingertips against the window pane.  'He's going to hate me, and I . . . I deserve that . . . Keeping something from someone is as bad as lying, isn't it?  I should have told him about Daddy and Gin a long time ago . . .'

'What's does is done, Belle.  Maybe Kichiro won't be too mad.'

Bellaniece wrapped her arms over her stomach and swallowed hard.  Her normally confident youkai . . .

It was worried, too.