InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 4: Justification ❯ Kichiro's Discoveries ( Chapter 64 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Kichiro slammed his fist against the solid door.  "Gin!  Damn it, open this door or I swear to kami, I'll go get the old man, and you know I will!"

He didn't get an answer.  "Gin!"

Rattling the locked door, Kichiro uttered a frustrated growl.  "I'll give you to the count of three, baby girl!  Get this fucking door open, or I'll break it down!"  He backed up.   He hated having to use brawn, but using brain wasn't working, and there was something entirely weird about Gin's youki . . . "One . . . two . . . three . . ."

The door clicked and opened.  Kichiro shook his head and restrained the desire to smash the door open with his palm since he wasn't sure how close Gin was on the other side.  Striding into her darkened apartment—she'd obviously pulled all the blinds—he stopped short upon seeing the remnants of Bellaniece's birthday party littering the small dwelling.  Gin was a neat freak, much like their mother.  Why hadn't she cleaned up?

He grimaced, as he stared at the upheaval.  There was a strange sort of malignance lingering in the place; as though Gin had just given up.

"What are you doing here?"

Whipping around to gape at his sister, Kichiro couldn't control the string of expletives that shot out of him.  If he didn't know the creature before him was his baby sister, he wouldn't have believed it.  Wrapped in a tattered old blanket—she'd had it for years—she refused to look him in the eye as she slumped against the wall for support.  Hair stringy and dull, skin pale and drawn, she looked like a ghost of herself, and when she pushed a hand out of the blanket to rub her face, he winced.  Cheekbones over deep hollows, eyes bulging and dim, her hand was shaking, and she shivered before clamping her mouth closed to keep her teeth from rattling.

"Gin-chan?"

She refused to meet his gaze.  "It's nothing," she assured him.  "The flu . . ."

"The . . . Gin, you're hanyou.  You don't get the flu."

"It can happen," she argued.  "It's nothing."

Heaving a sigh as he slipped a hand under her elbow and tried not to wince at the sharpness of her bones beneath her skin, he helped her over to the sofa and gently pushed her down.  "You look like shit!"

She managed a rather cold look before she buried her face in the familiar blanket.  "Thanks, nii-chan."

"When's the last time you ate?"

Gin whimpered.  "I don't know . . . I tried, but I kept throwing it up."

"How long have you been . . . sick?"

She seemed to shrink into herself a little.  "Since Belle's party . . ."

". . . Damn it."

"I'm okay."

"The hell you are!"

"Just tired . . ."

"No!" he growled as he shot to his feet and stomped toward the kitchen.  "Don't you do it!  Don't you dare go to sleep!  Do you hear me, Gin?  I'll . . . I'll go get the old man; see if I don't."

She whimpered again but sat up a little.

Kichiro rifled through her cupboards to find something she might be able to hold down.  A few rice crackers and half of a glass of milk seemed safe, and he slammed the refrigerator with a kick of his foot before hurrying back into the living room again.  "Eat," he demanded.

Gin turned a sickly grayish-green shade and swallowed hard before sticking her hand out of the covers for the crackers.

"Gah, not that fast, baka!" he growled as Gin stuffed the handful of crackers into her mouth and hurriedly chewed and swallowed.  "Don't you have any common—?"

Cut off when Gin stumbled off the sofa and ran toward the bathroom, Kichiro sighed and followed, only to find her right where he figured she'd be.  Hunched over the toilet as she expelled the pitiful amount of food along with a good amount of bile, he winced and pulled her hair back away from her face.  "It's that bastard, isn't it?  Zelig . . . What's he done to you?"

Wiping her mouth with the back of her trembling hand, Gin couldn't hold back the soft sob that slipped from her at the mention of Cain's name.  Kichiro grimaced and pulled Gin against his chest, smoothing her hair and muttering whatever came to mind in a vain effort to calm her down.  "It's okay, I promise.  You'll be okay . . . You're tougher than this . . . I'll kill him for hurting you . . ."

"He didn't, I sw-swear," she sniffled.  "I d-d-did it . . . I hurt him . . . stupid, st-stupid . . ."

"Damn it, Gin . . . You answer me this: did you choose him?"

She sniffled and hiccupped and shook her head.  "I . . . No.  Of course not.  I couldn't do that, you know?  He's . . . That'd be really, really dumb . . ."

"Gin . . ."

"I'm just . . . sick . . ."

He sighed and hugged her.  "You know, you're a fucking horrible liar, baby girl."

She whined.  "Please don't tell Papa.  He'd just get mad, a-a-and he'd kill Cain, and . . . It's not his fault; really, it's not—"

"Shh," Kichiro soothed, rocking Gin as he stroked her hair.  "I . . . I won't tell him . . ." He could feel her rising panic, and with that came the escalated beating of her heart.  Considering how weak her system already was from the days of not being able to eat, the last thing she needed was more upset on top of all that she'd already endured.  'Just what the fuck did that bastard say to her?'  He stood up and set Gin on the closed toilet before dampening a washcloth and wiping her face.  "Feeling any better?"

She nodded, lower lip quivering precariously.  Kichiro smeared toothpaste onto her toothbrush and carefully put it in her hand.  "Okay, can you do this?"

"Yes."

"Then you brush your teeth, then go lie down on the sofa.  I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

He forced a smile.  "It's not important.  Just sip your milk and lie down, okay?"

She nodded as she stuck the toothbrush into her mouth.

Satisfied that she'd be all right, at least for a few minutes, Kichiro strode out of her apartment and didn't stop until he was pounding on Cain's door.

The longer it took him to answer, the angrier Kichiro grew.  A collage of memories—Gin's tears when she fell and scraped her knee . . . protecting Gin from a bully at school . . . running through the forest as she tried to chase him down . . . the little, pesky sister that he never could seem to shake off . . . Gin, hunkered over the toilet as she cried, as she shook . . .

Cain barely got the door open when Kichiro threw his fist straight into the youkai's chin.  He stumbled back but didn't lose his balance.  Kichiro shoved the door open and strode inside.  It smacked into the wall and bounced closed.  "You selfish bastard!" Kichiro snarled, careful to keep his voice lowered in case Gin could hear him.  Eyes reddened, dull, expression haggard and drawn, somewhere in the back of his mind, the idea that Cain didn't look completely unaffected registered to him, but he brushed that aside.  He didn't care if the tai-youkai was suffering, too.  Gin was important, and Cain . . . He was going to fix it or else . . .

Cain clutched his jaw and moved it gingerly but didn't speak as he shot Kichiro a rather bored look.  That was invitation enough, as far as Kichiro was concerned.  Swinging his fist again and catching Cain's cheek, he watched in grim satisfaction as Cain's head snapped to the side.  When he swung his face around to glower at the hanyou, wiping the trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth, the tai-youkai finally looked irritated.  Kichiro cracked his knuckles."I guess I'll assume I deserved those," Cain remarked mildly.  "Like to tell me why?"

"What the hell did you do to my sister?"

Cain blinked.  "Gin?"

"Do I have another sister?  What did you do to her?"

"It's none of your business."

Kichiro growled as he shot forward, shoving Cain back against the wall.  "The hell it isn't!  It is my fucking business, damn it!  Now tell me what you did to her!"

Cain stared pointedly at Kichiro's hands, still tangled in his shirt, but didn't push him back.

"Let me guess: you got all shitty because Gin dared to have a birthday party for your daughter?  Was that it?  So you . . . what?  Yelled at her?  Screamed at her?  I don't give a fuck what you did, but you know, you've convinced her that whatever it was, it's entirely her fault."

A flicker of guilt registered on Cain's face before he managed to blank his expression.  Kichiro shoved the tai-youkai back and let go.  "It's not enough that your daughter walks on eggshells around you—afraid of upsetting the fucking master, is it?  What you've done to Gin . . . Damn it!"

"Gin's fine.  She's home, isn't she?"

"Fine?" he echoed incredulously.  "Fine?  There's nothing 'fine' about her, you bastard!"  Anger at the seeming nonchalance Cain displayed, Kichiro swung his fist again.

Cain caught it and pushed it aside.  "I let you vent your frustration.  Now I suggest you tell me what you're accusing me of having done."

Rounding on him in a blur of motion, Kichiro grabbed Cain's shoulder and shoved him toward the door.  "Fucking move."

"And where do you think I'm going?" Cain asked acerbically.

"Not that far, I promise."

Cain shot him a glower but kept moving.

Stopping outside Gin's door, Kichiro caught Cain's arm before he could go in.  "Upset her again, and I'll kill you.  I won't go after my old man or my brother.  I'll do it myself, and I won't give a fucking rat's ass, whether or not Gin and Belle will like it.  Now fix it before it's too late."

Cain glared at him for a long moment before cautiously pushing the door open.  Stopping abruptly at the sight of the disheveled apartment, he shook his head, staring around in much the same way that Kichiro had done earlier.

Kichiro pushed past him and stalked over to the sofa, kneeling down to feel Gin's forehead with the palm of his hand.  Grimacing, he sighed inwardly.  It was exactly what he'd feared.  Gin wasn't sick, not at all.  No fever, no nothing . . . Just a heartache so deep that he winced as it enveloped him, too.

Cain started to walk past him, obviously heading back to Gin's room.  Kichiro's growl stopped him.  Brushing aside the absolute feeling that he must protect his sister, Kichiro slowly rose to his feet and stepped back.  "Where the hell are you going?"

The tai-youkai stopped and swung around.  He was going to tell Kichiro to back off.  His eyes lit on Gin, and he stopped cold.  In a single instant, Kichiro saw everything.  Eyes flaring wide as a low groan slipped out of him, Kichiro didn't miss the grimace, the sharply indrawn breath as Cain staggered toward Gin, dropped to his knees beside her.  If the youkai knew how he looked as he knelt beside the girl, if he had any idea at all, just how much of his heart he wore in his expression . . . He looked absolutely broken, as though the image of her was enough to hurt him, Cain blinked quickly, cleared his throat to dispel the rising hysteria that flowed like water just under the calm façade he presented . . . There was an uncanny brightness in his gaze as he reached out with a quivering hand, he touched her cheek, winced at the pronounced hollows, the shadows under her eyes, the erratic flutter of her heart.  "G. . . G-God, Gin . . ."

She stirred, brow furrowing as she whimpered softly.  She didn't want to open her eyes, and yet she seemed to understand on some level that Cain was there beside her.  Kichiro stalked back to the kitchen, grabbed a small handful of rice crackers and turned around.  Cain was picking her up.  She looked like a child in his arms.  Restraining the desire to demand that Cain put her down, Kichiro strode back and grunted, holding his hand out as Cain settled her against his chest.  Shooting Kichiro a questioning glance, he slowly held out his hand.  Kichiro dropped the crackers and nodded at the untouched milk.  "She hasn't kept anything down since you did . . . whatever the hell you did to her.  You make sure she eats.  Make sure she drinks.  Don't let her do it too fast, or she'll throw it all back up again."

". . . All right," Cain agreed, glaring at Kichiro for another minute before gently jiggling his shoulder in an effort to rouse Gin.

She whined and turned her face to nuzzle against Cain's chest.  He winced and shook her again.  "Wake up, baby girl."

"C-Cain?" she murmured.

Kichiro leaned back against the wall, arms crossed over his chest as he watched in silence.  On the one hand, he wished that Cain would say or do something stupid.  He'd love to have a good reason to tear the youkai apart.  On the other, Gin was more important.  She had to be more important.

"W-What are you doing here?" she asked weakly.

Cain closed his eyes as he hugged her, his relief obvious.  The sound of her voice soothed him, and Kichiro didn't miss the stuttered breath he released.  "I came to check on you.  I've . . . missed you . . ."

"I'm sorry; so sorry . . ."

"Don't be sorry, Gin.  You don't have a reason to be."

"I do," she argued.  "You were right.  I didn't think, and I hurt you.  I'm so sorry, Cain . . ."

He swallowed hard.  "No, I shouldn't have taken it out on you.  I wasn't even mad at you . . . I was just mad at . . . I don't know, everything . . . Gin?  Will you do something for me?"

She sniffled and nodded.  If she realized Kichiro was there, she didn't show it.  "Okay."

"I want you to eat some crackers for me."

Gin whimpered.  "I can't . . . I—"

"You can," he argued gently, holding out a cracker and trying to pry her lips apart.  She moaned and turned her face deeper into his shoulder.  "You've got to eat . . . for me?"

She sniffled and grimaced but unburied her face long enough for him to feed her the cracker.  "Take it easy on that, okay?  I want you to keep it down."

Chewing slowly, Gin sighed and snuggled deeper into her blanket.

"I came by," he told her as he fed her another cracker.  "I called . . ."

"I thought you were mad at me," she admitted.  "I thought you—y-you—hated me."

"Not possible.  Me hate you?  No . . . I was an ass, and I'm sorry."

"I should have realized that Isabelle died then.  I should have asked or something."

He hugged her closer, rested his cheek on her head as he closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to take comfort in her proximity.  "You didn't know.  You couldn't have known.  It's okay, Gin.  Don't apologize anymore.  You didn't do a damn thing.  It was . . . It was me . . . J-Just me."

Kichiro grimaced and heaved a sigh.  Even if he hadn't promised that he wouldn't tell his father, what good could come of that?  It was obvious to him that Gin was already in way too deep, and as much as InuYasha loved his daughter, his blustering and threats wouldn't help.  Watching Cain feeding Gin the tiny crackers . . . He shook his head.  Gin was one of the most stubborn people he knew.  That she was allowing Cain to do that for her . . . It spoke volumes.

'Kami, this is bad, Kich.  Your father will kill us when he finds out.'

'Yeah,' Kichiro agreed.  'He will.'

'If you were smart, you'd march right over there and tell your father what's going on.  I'm willing to bet that he has a few choice things to say to Zelig-sensei . . .'

Kichiro winced inwardly.  'Oh, I'm sure he would . . .'  

"Please don't tell Papa.  He'd just get mad, a-a-and he'd kill Cain, and . . . It's not his fault; really, it's not—"

The stricken, panicked look on her face had given him pause—the main reason he couldn't tell InuYasha, after all.  Foolish or not, he'd given his word, and Gin believed him, didn't she?

Stifling another sigh as he caught Cain's stare and jerked his head toward the untouched glass of milk, Cain seemed to get the message.  Leaning over to retrieve the glass, he nudged his shoulder again to make Gin open her eyes.  "No," she whimpered, squeezing her eyes closed, as though the simple gesture would make the drink disappear.

"Please, Gin.  It'll help you."

"But—"

"Come on . . . for me?"

". . . Okay."

Cain carefully slipped the glass into her shaking hand and closed his hand over hers to steady it.  She let him help her take a sip before grimacing at the tepid liquid but managing to swallow it.  "See?  It's not so bad, is it?"

She groaned quietly.

Cain uttered a wan chuckle.  "I missed you, baby girl."

"I missed you, too.  Cain?  Will you stay here?  Just for awhile?"

Cain's brow furrowed as he held her, gently rocking from side to side to soothe her.  "Yeah," he rasped out.  "Yeah, I will."

Kichiro pushed himself away from the wall, pacified in the knowledge that Cain would help Gin finish the food he'd gotten out for her.  "Just the crackers and milk for now, then let her rest.  I'll be by later to check on her again.  If she wakes up before then, just a few crackers and more milk, but warm the milk so it doesn't upset her stomach."

Cain nodded, his arms tightening around Gin as though he were afraid that Kichiro would snatch her away from him.  "All right."

Kichiro ruffled Gin's hair and narrowed his gaze on the tai-youkai.  "I meant what I said.  You hurt her again, and I'll fucking kill you.  I'll hunt you down, and I'll kill you."

Cain didn't blink as he nodded once, adjusting Gin to make her more comfortable.  "If I upset her again, I'll let you kill me."

Satisfied that he'd made his point, Kichiro stuffed his hands into his pockets and strode toward the door.  Pausing in the open doorway, he glanced back one last time.  Cain kissed Gin's forehead and gently shook her, mumbling something before feeding her another cracker and coaxing her into drinking another swallow of the milk.

"Please don't tell Papa . . ."

Kichiro sighed.  'Does she even have a clue, just what she's asking of me?'

He'd figure that out later, he supposed as he pulled the door closed behind him.  Checking his watch, he grimaced.  He'd been gone well over an hour, and he'd left Bellaniece alone.  More concerned with finding Gin, he hadn't taken the time to talk to Bellaniece before he'd left.  She probably thought that he hadn't brought her along because he was angry with her.  That wasn't true at all.  He hadn't known what he'd find, and when the memory of Gin's drawn expression, the empty sorrow in her eyes . . . the hopelessness that had engulfed her came into focus, he grimaced.

There were some things in life that Bellaniece didn't need to see, and he didn't have to be brilliant to know that she blamed herself for the fight between her father and Gin, even if she really didn't have a damn thing to do with it.

Of course, knowing that his sister had been naïve enough to fall in love with a man who had promised his life to another . . .

Kichiro believed in Gin's ability to make people adore her, and he knew—he had seen—that Zelig Cain wasn't able to resist her, either.  .  He'd seen it in the tai-youkai's gaze: he adored Gin, absolutely.  He'd taken her pain into himself, had sought to shelter her against the anguish that he had caused her.  Everyone's darling baby girl . . . She belonged to him now, and as much as Kichiro wanted to fight the knowledge, he really, really couldn't do that.  Gin needed Cain, and Cain . . . He needed her, too.

Kichiro stuffed his hands into his pockets as he trudged down the stairs.

'Tell your father, damn it.  Stop trying to be Gin's hero.  She don't need a hero right now; she needs a brother.  She's in over her head, and you know it.  Stupid girl . . . She's far too trusting.  She handed him her heart, didn't she?  She did that, and now she's the one who's going to pay for it . . .'

But it wasn't about being a hero, was it?  Far too trusting, far too naïve . . . and maybe that was all their faults.  Too quick to shelter Gin, too fast to chase away anyone and anything that threatened her perfect little existence . . . Were those the things that had lured Cain to her?  The innocence in her smiles, the genuine warmth in her eyes . . . The self-loathing in Cain's gaze as he stared at her; the tears in his eyes that the tai-youkai hadn't shed . . . Kichiro had seen it.  He'd seen all of it, and in the end, he'd known.  Only one person could save Gin now, and as much as he might like to be the one to help her, Kichiro knew deep down that it wasn't something that InuYasha or Ryomaru or even he could fix.  Would there be any point to telling their father?

He sighed and dragged a tired hand over his face, trying not to think about what the future would bring.

His sister had blindly chosen her mate, and he had apparently chosen Gin, too.  He could only hope that the two of them would realize what was going on before it was too late.  It was all up to Gin now, wasn't it?


Cain leaned his cheek against Gin's forehead as she slept soundly.  Wincing at her depleted youki, unable to ignore the stringy, dull hair that hung in limp tendrils around her ashen face, he couldn't stand to see the pronounced hollows in her cheeks, to feel the bones in her slender hands.  True enough, she'd eaten the handful of rice crackers that Kichiro had rationed out for her, and yes, she drank the rest of the milk without complaint.  His instincts demanded that he wake her up, that he make her eat something more substantial.

He sighed.  Kichiro was a doctor, and while Cain didn't like him, he had to allow that. as a doctor and more importantly, as Gin's brother, there was no way that he'd give advice if it weren't warranted.  He hadn't noticed when Kichiro left.  Actually, he hadn't noticed much of anything after he'd seen Gin, after he'd stared in shock at the vibrant girl who looked more like a shadow of herself than the real woman he knew.

'God, Gin . . . What did you do?'

Grimacing as the memory of hearing her retching so pathetically the night he'd been so ugly to her . . . Nerves could do that, couldn't they?  An upset so powerful that Gin . . . He'd forced her to that.  With his thoughtless anger, and his consuming rage, his need to lash out . . . He'd done this, and Gin was the one who suffered.  She was always hungry.  He liked to tease her about that, didn't he?  She'd made herself sick because of him; because of his misplaced sense of righteous indignation.

'Nearly four days,' he thought as he tightened his hold on her.  'I left her alone that long, and the entire time, she . . . She needed me, didn't she?'

'Just fix it, Cain.  Don't worry about that; you can't change the past.  You know that better than anyone, right?  Just make sure she eats . . . and maybe . . . Maybe it's time.'

'Time?'

'She's close, and you trust her, and maybe you owe her.  She doesn't think you're a monster.  She's never believed that, has she?  Maybe, if you told her, maybe she'd understand . . .'

Cain closed his eyes, kissed Gin's forehead as he sighed softly.  He'd never told anyone, ever.  He'd never told a single soul.  Afraid of the truth, ashamed of his actions, he'd locked it away and refused to speak of it.  Maybe Gin would listen, and maybe she would understand, and even if she didn't understand, Gin would try because she didn't know how not to try . . .

She stirred slightly, her brow furrowing as she moaned.  She was too tiny, too perfect, too fragile . . . The delicate beauty of the sakura blossoms that perfumed the air in the springtime, the unattainable fragrance of the whispering breeze . . . Held so close to his heart, she calmed him, soothed him, offered him a solace that he hadn't realized existed anymore.

'Gin, I'm sorry . . .'

If he lost her . . .

'Selfish bastard . . . What the hell are you thinking?'

Cain grimaced.  'She needs me . . .'

'Damn, Zelig, you've really done it.  She needs you?  She needs you because you made her need you.  You should have walked away.  You should have turned around; gotten back on that plane . . . Do you have any idea what you've done?'

'. . . She was sick . . .'

'And you believe that?'

He didn't know what to believe.  Regret, recrimination . . . the things he knew best, only this time, it was Gin, and Gin . . . Gin was precious to him.  'I'll make it right, somehow . . . Gin deserves that much.'

'How will you do that?  How can you do that?'

He shook his head and kissed her forehead again.  'I'll find a way.  I . . . I owe her.'

'You owe her?  You owe Isabelle?  You owe Bellaniece?  Cain . . . You've only got one life.  You want to live, but you promised . . . and Gin doesn't know that, does she?  Don't you think she deserves to know?'

Cain sighed.  'As long as I don't dishonor her . . . as long as I don't take her as my mate . . . She'll be fine, right?  In the end?  That's how it works, isn't it?'

'Do you think so?  Do you think you can walk away in the end, that Gin will go unscathed?'

'She has to.  She's stronger than anyone thinks.'

'Cain, look at her . . .'

'I know, but . . . if it came to that . . . I wouldn't yell at her, and she . . . She'd have no reason to be upset.'

'Do you believe that?'

He smiled sadly.  'I want to believe that.'

'You know, they say the biggest fool of all is the one who convinces himself that his delusions are real.'

'A fool or a monster?  What a choice . . .'

His youkai sighed.  'Worry about that later, Cain. Right now, Gin needs you, and she doesn't need to see you fall apart.'

'Tired,' Cain thought as he blinked.  'So damn tired . . .'

Yawning wide as he scooted down on the sofa, Cain closed his eyes for a moment.  He hadn't lied when he'd told her before that he couldn't sleep without her.  The last few nights had been fitful.  Everlasting darkness that pressed in on him, that made him want to scream, offered nothing in the way of solitude.  Having her near, feeling her heart beat . . . Devastating and tempering, he couldn't help himself as sleep beckoned him.  Gin was safe.  Gin was close, and Cain . . .

Cain was right where he needed to be.