InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity 9: Subterfuge ❯ Doomsday ( Chapter 205 )
~Doomsday~
-OoOoOoOoOo OoOoOoOoO-
'But only love can break your heart ...
'Try to be sure right from the start…
'Yes, only love can break your heart …
'What if your world should fall apart …?'
-'Only Love Can Break Your Heart' by Neil Young.
-Evan-
He lounged in the doorway, casually sipping a cup of coffee, frowning slightly as he watched Valerie, fast asleep in the middle of the bed. It had only been a couple hours since she'd fallen into a deep sleep. How much of it was caused by the booze and how much was a direct result of the hours they'd spent in each other's arms, he wasn't sure, and it really didn't matter. He himself couldn't sleep; there was just no way possible, not after everything that had happened, and, while the cautious sense of hope still lingered, so did the irksome doubt that persisted just around the edges.
Still, the sun was spilling through the windows, bathing the entire room in a brightness that only added to the surreal feeling that had yet to relinquish its hold on him. On the one hand, she'd said it already, hadn't she? It was over between her and Marvin. Evan had won—well, if he wanted to think of it in terms of some kind of epic battle. Somehow, that seemed a little more impersonal than he liked.
She'd chosen him.
Hadn't she?
Letting out a deep breath, he shifted his jaw to the side, sucked in one cheek. If he had understood her correctly, that's exactly what she was saying.
So why did he hesitate now? Why couldn't he shake the dreadful feeling that when she woke up, she'd realize what had happened, that his cautious hope would come crashing down around him . . .?
'Don't be so negative, lover-boy. She was as horny as you were. Remember, if you will, the entire thing was all her idea,' his youkai piped up. 'Damn, what a night . . .'
'Way to put it, pervert,' Evan grumbled. 'Just because we made love—'
His youkai interrupted with a loud snort. 'You didn't make love. Guys like your dad or your brother—now those saps 'make love'—and probably sob like damn babies about it afterward. You fucked: mind-blowing, ass-kicking, howl-at-the-moon fuckin'-fucking. That's what it was.'
Rolling his eyes as the vaguest hint of a smile quirked his lips, Evan shook his head and lifted the mug of fragrant coffee once more. 'Yeah! It totally was!'
'Too bad she fell asleep . . .'
He sighed a little wistfully. 'Tell me about it . . .'
'Oh, and before I forget, just why the hell did you use condoms last night? She's our mate, right? What was the point of that?' his youkai-voice griped.
Evan snorted and made a face. 'Because she was drunk,' he grumbled since he wasn't too happy about the whole thing, either. That was neither here nor there. The point of it all was quite simple. 'Besides, I haven't told her anything yet, if you'll remember.'
'So wake her up, tell her, and let's claim our mate.'
Shaking his head, Evan sighed again. It wasn't exactly that easy. Well, maybe it could be, but if he were to be completely honest with himself, he'd have to admit that there was actually another very different reason: one he hadn't really stopped to think about until this morning, and when he had, he'd realized that it was the truest reason of all. The truest reason of all had very little to do with whether or not she was drunk, nor did it really have much to do with the idea of telling her about what he was.
But he'd gotten up to get her a bottle of water, and when he'd returned not even five minutes later, she was completely and utterly passed out and snoring lightly, not that he'd ever tell her that. Besides, he'd noticed that before, too. She only snored when she was drunk, anyway. He'd slipped back into bed with her, and she had instantly curled herself around him, likely seeking his warmth, and it was nice—too nice, actually, which was another reason why he'd gotten up. If he stayed in bed any longer, he would have been all about waking her up, and if she wasn't going to rake him over the coals about last night, she very likely would if he had given in to that urge . . .
Even so, there was something to be said for being able to just stand there, watching her sleep. Still very naked, covered by just a sheet that she'd tugged over her hips, her breasts carefully tucked under the arm she had slipped up under her pillow as she curled up on her side, her hair spilling out around her in waves of gorgeous blonde ripples, matted slightly from their night's activities, but that didn't detract from her overall radiance, even as she slept.
No doubt about it, he couldn't think of anything better than waking up next to that particular woman for the rest of his life . . .
The vibration of his cell phone on the nightstand galvanized him into action. It wasn't loud enough to wake her, he didn't think, but he also didn't want to chance it. Hurrying over, he set the coffee mugs on the nightstand and grabbed the device to turn it off, but the name that registered on the caller ID drew a thoughtful frown, and, with one last glance at Valerie, he ran lightly out of the room to answer the call.
"Hey, what's up?" he said, skipping any kind of proper greeting.
"Morning, Evvie," Jillian replied, the ebullience in her tone coming across loud and clear. "I just wondered what you were doing next weekend?"
"Next weekend? Not sure . . . I think I have a couple interviews and such, but nothing too demanding. Something up?"
"Oh, well, Gavvie and I were going to be in Maine, and I was kind of hoping to throw Mama a surprise baby shower—short notice, I know, bu-u-u-ut . . ."
Evan grinned. "I'll check my schedule and get back to you. I know there's nothing major, so I'm pretty sure that I can just reschedule, if I have to."
"You're sure?" Jillian pressed. "If not, I can always try for a different weekend."
"Yeah, I'm sure," Evan told her. "Just let me know the details, but . . . Should we have her shower already? I mean, she isn't due for a while."
"I know," Jillian said. "But you know how that goes. I'm sure that other people will want to throw her a shower, too, and this one is just small—you know, just immediate family and really close friends that are already in the area."
"Oh, so you're going to invite Bubby."
Though he couldn't see her face, he had a fair feeling that Jillian was rolling her eyes, and she did giggle. "Of course I am! Besides, I want to have a baby derby!"
"What's that?"
Heaving a sigh since she thought that he obviously should know as much already, Jillian clucked her tongue. "It's where we all place bets on whether she's having a boy or a girl!"
"Placing bets on Mama? Cain'll love that."
Jillian giggled again. "It's all in fun, Evvie!"
"All right; all right."
"Oh, and make sure you ask V to come with you, of course. I mean, she's practically family already, right?"
And that statement was enough to bring a ridiculously cheesy smile to his face. "Yeah, I guess she is," he allowed.
"Okay, then I'll let you go. Gavvie's awake, and he's got a really big 'morning glory' going on!"
"Jilli!" Gavvie complained in the background. "Don't tell anyone that!"
Evan laughed and raised his voice to be heard over Jillian's insistence that Evan was a guy so he ought to know about that without her having to say it. "All right, Jilli. Call me later."
Jillian twittered in laughter. "Bye, Evvie!"
"Aw, Evan? Now, that's even worse!" Gavin complained.
Still chuckling, Evan hung up the phone and wandered back down the hallway to the bedroom, resuming his stance, leaning against the doorframe. Valerie hadn't even stirred, which was just as well. He was a little busy at the moment, convincing himself that he didn't need to stride right in there and show her his morning glory, damn it . . .
Evan smiled just a little, loving the way that the sunlight played in her hair, how it kissed her skin with a tawny sort of glow. As though she could sense his perusal, she uttered a soft sigh and snuggled down into her pillow, lips parting as her breathing deepened.
Well, she had been sleeping for almost three hours . . .
Pushing himself away from the door frame with his shoulder, Evan took his time, crossing the floor and set the phone on the nightstand. Then he carefully slipped back onto the bed. He didn't know if she'd felt the motion or had just realized that he was there. In any case, she snuggled close to him, wrapping her scent all around him as he slipped his arms around her and closed his eyes, willing his body to understand that he wasn't in a hurry to wake her up, that she, unlike he, really did need to sleep.
It didn't work nearly as well as he might have liked. In fact, it didn't work at all.
Damn it.
Cracking an eye open to gaze at her, her head resting on his shoulder, the coolness of her exposed skin a stark contrast from the absolute warmth where their bodies touched. Idly rubbing her shoulder with the pad of his thumb, he smiled when a pretty pinkness suffused her skin where he touched her, when an isolated patch of gooseflesh rose to meet him.
She really was everything in the world to him, and still . . .
Still, he couldn't quite shake that hint of doubt, that slight worry that she really would wake up and decide that everything was just a mistake, that he was just a mistake . . .
That wouldn't happen, would it? She would never think that; never in a million years. She'd said it herself, and he knew he hadn't imagined it. She'd told him that it was over with Marvin.
He was just being stupid. It was simply hard to shake the worry that had plagued him for so long, the times when he'd felt as though he'd made a breakthrough with her, only to realize that he hadn't. Well, that wasn't entirely true. He had made breakthroughs with her. She simply hadn't known how to deal with them, so she'd retreated to the familiar, and as much as he hated it, he also understood it, too, but even if he hadn't, what did that matter when he loved her, would always love her? All he had to do now was to have a little faith.
She stirred slightly, her eyes fluttering but not quite ready to open, and she half-breathed, half-sighed his name. Kissing her forehead gently, he didn't really mean to wake her, but she slowly opened her eyes and smiled at him: that drowsy kind of half-drunken kind of smile, even though she should be sober enough now.
"Smell coffee," she murmured, her eyes drifting closed again, snuggling closer against Evan's chest.
"I brought you some," he told her though he made no move to let her go, either. "You want it? Sit up."
"Okay," she agreed in a still-groggy tone.
Evan chuckled and kissed her forehead again. "Damn, you feel nice."
"Mmm," she intoned. "Warm . . ."
He had a feeling that she wasn't even slightly awake, not really. That was all right. He could deal with that. After all, she wasn't freaking out, and that was a good sign, even if she wasn't completely coherent. "You want to sleep a little more?"
"Hmm . . . cuddle."
His cautious smile widened just a little. "I can do that."
It was just too nice, feeling her body so close to his, close enough that his heartbeat seemed to resonate with hers. Or maybe his was just so attuned to hers that it made the whole thing easy . . .
Somehow, he liked that idea—liked it a lot. They belonged together; he knew it. She knew it, too, didn't she? She fit too perfectly in his arms, too warm, too vibrant, too everything.
Gently tilting her chin with a crooked finger, he kissed her softly without actually intending to wake her. No, it was more that he simply wanted to, maybe needed to. She sighed against his lips, kissed him back almost clumsily, reaching up, stroking his cheek. When he stopped, she did manage to open her eyes a little bit, smiling almost bemusedly. "Are you going back to sleep?" he teased, catching her fingers in his hand, bringing them to his lips to brush over her knuckles.
"Thinking about it," she admitted, wiggling around just enough to make herself more comfortable as her eyes drifted closed once more.
"Keep that up, and there won't be any more sleeping for you this morning," he warned her, only half-joking.
"Last night was amazing," she murmured without opening her eyes again.
"Oh, so you do remember it."
"I wasn't that drunk."
He snorted despite the smile still on his face. "Drunk enough."
Pulling her hand away, she slapped it over his mouth. "Can't sleep when you're yappin', Roka."
That did make him laugh as he kissed her palm. "Guess I'll be nice and let you sleep a while longer," he said, pulling her hand down and pressing it against his chest. "You'll have to pay for it later, of course."
"You should be nice to be nice," she pointed out with a slight pout.
"I should," he quipped, "but I'm not."
"Jerk," she breathed then moaned as she snuggled against him some more.
"I'll take what I can get, V," he said. "Why you so tired, anyway?"
"Hmm, I wonder," she retorted dryly.
Evan grinned. "Want that coffee now?"
With a groan, Valerie leaned up on her elbow and reached out her other hand, swinging it around slightly, as though the movement was going to somehow draw her coffee into her hand. Evan chuckled but leaned to the side to snag it for her. "Here you go. Don't spill it."
"Thank you," she said, her voice already muffled by the mug as she slurped it down hastily. "Mmm . . ."
"That's sexy," he remarked as a little coffee dripped down her chin. She ignored it as she continued to drink.
"How much begging would it take to get you to refill that for me?" she asked, plunking the now-empty mug smack in the center of his chest and using the back of her hand to wipe her chin in an entirely un-graceful kind of way.
"What kind of begging?" he countered.
She rolled her eyes and flopped back down, resuming her place, nestled against his shoulder. "Oh, I'm so sore . . . Muscles are hurting that I didn't know I had," she groaned. "Did you try to bend me around like a pretzel or something?"
"Hell, yeah," he replied then uttered a long, drawn out moan of his own. "Aww, I'm getting a boner just remembering it all . . ."
"You always have one of those," she reminded him, leaning up long enough to kiss the tip of his nose before snuggling back down again.
"It's just because I'm the fuck-master," he said.
"The—? Really."
He chuckled. "That's right. "You can call me Lord Fuckity Fuck, if you want."
"No," she said flatly.
"Why not?"
"Don't make me beat on you today, Roka," she warned.
He chuckled again. "I'd probably like that."
She sighed. "You probably would."
"But you loved it."
She blushed and turned her head to hide her face against him for a moment. "I . . . I did," she admitted.
"Yeah, and you could have been loving it a lot longer if you had just listened to me about ol' Marzipan earlier."
She lay still for all of ten seconds, and then, with a very loud gasp, she sat bolt-upright, eyes flaring wide as she shot him a completely shocked look. "Oh, my God! Marvin!"
"Wh-What?"
Covering her face with her hands for a moment, she groaned. "Damn it! I forgot all about—What time is it?" she suddenly demanded, head snapping up as she tossed the blankets aside and scrambled out of bed.
"Time?" he echoed almost stupidly as his brain slowed to an absolute crawl. "Almost nine, but—"
"Nine?" She heaved a disgusted sort of sigh, yanking her jeans on with one hand as she groped around for her sweater with the other. "Oh, no!"
"W-Wait a minute!" he blurted, sitting up, trying to reach her, but she was too quick, or maybe she simply didn't notice his efforts. "What are you—?"
A very loud, very irritated growl cut him off abruptly as she raked her hands through her hair and then grabbed his jeans to rifle through the pockets. "It wasn't supposed to be like this! I'm so sorry!" she went on, and Evan had to wonder if she realized she was even speaking out loud. "I should have . . . Oh, God! What was I thinking?" She dropped his jeans after locating her keys. "Evan, I've got to go!"
"Go? Go where?"
She drew a deep breath and glanced at him, making a face as she scooped up her bra and panties that she hadn't bothered to pull back on. "I've got to call him," she hurried on to say. "I've got to call Marvin!"
Evan blinked. "Mar . . .?"
Valerie darted over to kiss the air near his cheek. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she blurted as she hurried toward the door. "I'm sorry, Evan! I'll . . . I'll come by later!"
Evan did move for several minutes, long after he'd heard her run down the steps, long after he'd heard the door in the distance open and close. Long after he'd heard the squeal of her tires in his driveway.
As his frozen mind began to thaw, as Valerie's words resounded in his head, Evan reached up, raked his hands through his hair, rubbed his face over and over again, and it felt as though his entire world had just come crashing down upon him.
All of the things that he'd thought, all of those things that he'd feared, and . . .
And he was right, wasn't he? Valerie . . .
Valerie had still chosen Marvin.
A/N:
'Only Love Can Break Your Heart' by Neil Young originally appeared on the 1970 release, After the Gold Rush. Copyrighted to Neil Young.
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Final Thought from Evan:
What the hell was that …?
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Blanket disclaimer for this fanfic (will apply to this and all other chapters in Subterfuge): I do not claim any rights to InuYasha or the characters associated with the anime/manga. Those rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi, et al. I do offer my thanks to her for creating such vivid characters for me to terrorize.
~Sue~