InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity Redux: Fruition ❯ Understanding ( Chapter 27 )

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, staring up at the empty spot in the sky where the fallen star had been.  The moon had shifted, climbing just a little higher as the chill in the air grew.  Somewhere in the back of her mind, she thought that she ought to go back inside soon.  Still, she didn't move, just hugging her legs a little tighter, letting her chin sink a little lower on her raised knees . . .

The sudden yet gentle tug of her brush through her hair, however, made her sit up straight, and she glanced over her shoulder, her expression awash with a confusion that stemmed from somewhere deep down as Ben knelt behind her, carefully pulling that brush through her locks, and he didn't speak a word.

"B-Ben . . ."

He let out a deep breath, his face a study of highlights and shadows in the darkness.  Lips turning up in the barest hint of a smile, he slowed the drag of the brush just a little.  "Your hair is beautiful, did you know?"

She shook her head, forced herself to look forward once more, as the frown on her face shifted into an expression of profound confusion.

"I didn't want to disturb you," he admitted in the same soft, gentle tone.  "You looked so deep in thought, but I . . . I could feel it, you know?  I could feel you, slipping even farther away from me."

Swallowing hard as she bit down on her lip, she didn't answer, couldn't respond as that pain so far down swelled and blossomed and grew, rising up in her, threatening to choke her.  It was ugly and hurtful . . . So why did she cling to it so desperately . . .?

"Tell me, Charity . . ."

She turned her face slightly, opened her mouth a time or two, before shaking her head sadly, before shifting her gaze back to the sea.

"How do I reach you?" he went on when she didn't answer.  The raspiness in his voice dug deep at her, made her forget to breathe for just a moment.  "How do I bring you back to me?"

"I'm right here," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

He sighed, and the brush hesitated for a second before resuming the rhythmic tug that felt like the waves as they coursed toward the shore once more.  "You aren't," he said, his words sad, a sense of melancholy so deep that Charity could feel it.  "I wish . . . I wish I could explain things—make you understand, and if I were better with words . . ."

"What would you say, then?" she challenged quietly, her back stiffening though she didn't move at all.  "What would you explain?"

He didn't answer right away.  He didn't answer.  The brush stilled, and he set it aside as he scooted around to face her, his back to the ocean, his knees spread: one behind her, one beside her, and he stared at her for a few long heartbeats, his eyes veiled in the night shadows.  Charity wasn't sure what he was thinking, even less sure, just what he was doing, but he grasped her hands in his and leaned down, letting his forehead drop against hers as he closed his eyes, as hers drifted closed, too . . .

'Charity . . .?  Can you . . .?  Can you hear me . . .?'

Her gasp was audible in the quiet of the beach.  'B . . . Ben . . .?  How do I . . .?'

'Not Ben, exactly, no . . . But I'm not not Ben, either . . .'

'But . . . Why can I hear you?'

'Hmm . . . you know, I'm not sure.  You're the first person I've ever been able to talk to this way . . . But it may have something to do with Ben.  I mean, you get stronger as you age, as you learn to harness your youki to your full potential, and, while I'm not so sure that Ben is at the level of full mastery yet, that might be why I can talk to you.  As far as I know, though, you're the only one I can talk to, Ben notwithstanding . . .'

'But why me?'

His youkai-voice sighed.  'Come, now Cherry . . . You must know why.'

'I . . . I don't . . . I mean, it doesn't make sense; not really . . . Ben . . .'

'You're the first person, did you know?  The first person that we've let get this close in a very long time.  It's easy to be friendly and personable.  It allows for a certain level of detachment that no one actually realizes is even there.  Fooled into believing that they're close when, in reality, they aren't.'

'That's not true at all,' she thought with a frown.  'Ben's not—you're not—not like that . . .'

'We're not perfect.  The only way to survive as long as we have is to attain that space, that area no one is able to cross.  Especially when you're alone, you learn over time that everything is transient, that everything changes, and if you want to deal with those changes, you have to take that step back . . . or go crazy.  And Ben?  He's been alone—truly alone—for a very, very long time.'

Ben sighed.  'All right.  That's enough of the 'Let's-Make-Ben-Look-Bad' game, okay?'

His youkai snorted.  'You promised you'd shut up and let me do the talking, didn't you?'

'Then stop making me sound so pathetic, will you?'

'I wasn't, although, for the record?  You don't really need my help to make you look pathetic, Ben. Just sayin' . . . I was just explaining a few things to her, so now that it's all out of the way, I'll continue—if you'll shut up now.'

'By all means.'

'Good.'

Charity giggled despite herself.

Ben sighed again.

'Anyway, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted . . .?  Ah, yes . . . You're the closest person that Ben has, you know?  There isn't anyone else . . . Even Kyouhei, brother or not . . . It doesn't mean very much when he's purposefully been kept out of his brother's life for . . . centuries, really . . .'

'Because I'm here,' she replied quietly, sadly.  'Because . . . Because of the babies . . .'

'No, not because of the babies.  It's because of you.  I hated all those years that we waited, being patient, being noble . . . But Ben thought you needed that time, and maybe you did, but that didn't make it any easier . . .'

'But . . . But Ben . . .' She grimaced.  The words, even in thought . . . They hurt.  'I . . . I don't understand . . .'

'I'm sorry, Cherry.  I really cannot explain any of that.  That's Ben's part to get right or to screw up.  I just wanted you to know . . . It's you—only you . . . and it will only ever be you, too . . .'

Ben sighed as he pulled away from her, just enough to end the mental connection.  The breeze lifted his hair, blew it against her face, and she opened her eyes slowly, almost cautiously, only to find him staring at her.  He let go of her hands, only to brush the back of his knuckles against her cheek.  "I'm not asking you to forgive me, Charity," he said, his voice little more than a whisper.  "All I'm asking is that you don't shut me out."

She stared at him for a long moment.  Could she do that?  Did she dare?  To let him in without question, without reservation?  The uncertainties still whispered in the back of her mind, and yet, all he really was asking for was a chance, wasn't he?  A chance to prove to her that maybe, just maybe, she was wrong . . .

If she closed him out, she'd end up with nothing.  If she didn't, she still ran that risk, but what if . . .?

Heaving a tumultuous breath, she pursed her lips, shook her head just a little.  "Okay," she whispered, unable to trust her voice not to break.  "O-Okay . . ."

"There has been a rash of killings in and around the Fukuoka area," Sesshoumaru said via video feed, his expression giving away nothing of his thoughts on the matter.

Toga frowned.  "Fukuoka," he repeated.  "Right in the midst of Tetsuo's stronghold."

"And just north of Muira's."

"Anything you know about them?" Cain asked.

Sesshoumaru's gaze narrowed just the tiniest bit.  "The perpetrator did very little to hide his identity.  In fact, he barely wore a concealment at all.  Wakashi Eikishi: komodo-dragon-youkai.  Four dead so far, no real reason behind the acts, all seemingly at random."

"So, it's a trap," Toga concluded.  "They want me to send Ryomaru in, just like Kyouhei-san said."

"That is the assumption," Sesshoumaru said.  "Too bad the damned baka overheard a discussion I was having with your mother about it all.  He's not very pleased with the order to stand down."

Toga grunted.  Nope, considering how reactive Ryomaru tended to be, that wasn't really surprising in the least . . . He sighed, slouching to the side as he propped his elbow on the arm of the chair and rubbed at his temple.  "I'll talk to him," he promised.

"I already did," Sesshoumaru replied.  "He will stay put until told otherwise."

"But how long can we let it slide?" Toga countered quietly.

Cain nodded slowly, knocking the ash off his cigarette in the crystal ashtray on his desk.  "If they're trying to lure out Ryomaru, they're going to keep on killing until he steps in," he stated.

InuYasha snorted.  "Keh!  I'll take care of it when I get back," he growled.

"And they would be even more pleased to kill you, baka," Sesshoumaru pointed out.  "They hate hanyou—you especially—almost as much as I do."

"Kiss my ass, you old bastard!  That old Tetsuo don't even have to do a damn thing.  I'll be more than happy to wipe you off the face of the earth!"

"If you think you can, InuYasha."

"I fucking know I can!"

Cain sighed and rolled his eyes.  Toga nodded at the North American tai-youkai in complete agreement.  "In any case," he said, raising his voice to be heard over the petty quibbling of the Brothers of the Fang, "I think it might be time to ask Kyouhei to join us . . . See if he knows anything else."

Sesshoumaru nodded.  "Contact me when you've made arrangements."

"I will," Toga said.

The video link ended, and InuYasha snorted indelicately as he headed for the door.

"Where are you going, Yasha-oji-chan?" Toga called after him.

"Keh!  Where do you think?  Gonna go get packing and call the airlines—see how hard it's gonna be to get Captain back to Japan . . ."

Toga heaved a sigh as InuYasha strode out of the office.  "He cannot just go charging in there, swinging Tetsusaiga, and blowing stuff to Kingdom Come."

Cain nodded, staring at the door thoughtfully, as though he expected the volatile hanyou to storm back into the room again.  "Sesshoumaru can talk him out of doing anything rash—I hope."

Toga made a face, mostly because Cain really didn't sound at all confident in his prediction.  "We need to devise another plan," he said.  "Something they won't expect."

"I'll call Ben," Cain said.  "He'll have Kyouhei's number."

"I don't like that suit."

Ben blinked and glanced down at himself for a moment before cocking an eyebrow at Charity and the very pronounced scowl on her pretty features.  "But you picked it out," he reminded her.

Waving a hand in blatant dismissal as she nodded quickly, she wrinkled her nose.  "I know," she said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.  "That was before I realized that you're way overdressed.  That's all."

He frowned.  "But the girls are wearing velvet, and that's pretty fancy," he pointed out.

She nodded, shifting Emmeline to her other side as she stepped over to the closet once more to rifle through the selection of clothes he'd brought along for the trip.  "Yeah, but I'm not," she murmured, concentrating on his shirts.  "Besides, that looks too stuffy for Christmas."

Ben chuckled, stripping off the jacket and carefully dropping it over the back of a chair.  "Stuffy . . . Okay."

"Perfect!" she exclaimed, yanking an off-white ribbed turtleneck from the back of the closet with the rest of the things that he kept here but never actually wore.  Reigning in the desire to make a face at the garment, he started unbuttoning his shirt.  If it made her happy, he'd wear it, he supposed.  With any luck, it wouldn't take long to get the pictures she wanted since he was pretty sure that he was going to be ridiculously warm in that . . .

'Think of the benefits here, Ben.'

'And what would those benefits be?'

'Charity wants family pictures, stupid: family pictures with you . . .'

He supposed that it was a good enough reason to wear the turtleneck, and he tugged it over his head without complaint.  At least it was a thinner knit, though he really couldn’t remember where he'd gotten it, in the first place.  "Better?" he asked as he pulled his hair out of the ridiculous neckline.

"Ye—No," she said, pointing down at his slacks.  "Those really don't go . . ."

"I could put my towel on," he suggested.

She wrinkled her nose, but giggled.  "Do you have any jeans?"

Ben heaved a sigh and stepped over to the closet to retrieve a pair of jeans—actually, the only pair of jeans in there.  He hadn't worn those in a very long time, either . . . "Are my pants going to show in the picture?" he couldn't help asking.

"They might," she said.

"Okay," he replied, heading toward the bathroom to change.

It really didn't matter, what she suggested that they do.  He'd go along with it as long as it made her happy.  After the breakthrough he'd had with her last night, she could suggest that he dance naked on the beach with the entire populace of Mexico watching from the mainland with binoculars, and he'd do that, too—happily so.

'Face it, Ben. You're kind of pathetic.'

'Call it what you want.  Besides, aren't I supposed to go out of my way to make sure she's happy?'

'Ben . . . You're wearing . . . a fucking . . . turtleneck . . .'

Ben made a face.  'It's just for the pictures . . . and then I'll conveniently lose it.'

'. . . Good plan.  Oh!  Give it to the babies and accidentally on purpose lose the claw covers!'

'Are you suggesting that I use my daughters for nefarious deeds?'

'Nope, I'm suggesting that you let them tear that damn turtleneck to shreds because Cherry won't get mad at them for it.'

'No . . . I mean, if they were older so that I could tell them to do it, that'd be one thing, but with my luck, they'd just snuggle under it and go to sleep . . .'

His youkai-voice sighed as Ben fastened the jeans and grabbed the door handle.

"Great!" Charity exclaimed as he stepped out of the bathroom.  She handed Emmeline to him and picked up Nadia off the bed before grabbing his hand and pretty much dragging him toward the door.  Staring down at her hand in his, he couldn't help the smile that surfaced.

She led the way to the living room, where she'd already set up the new camera she'd purchased, hooking it into the television.  He started to reach for the remote-control trigger, but she was faster, snatching it up and nodding toward the overstuffed tan sofa.

He obediently sat down, settling Emmeline on his lap and fussing with the full skirt of her green velvet Christmas dress and finger-combing her now-shoulder-length hair.  The baby, however, wasn't even slightly interested in having her picture taken as she latched onto Ben's hand and bit down on the length of his index finger, instead.

Charity giggled as she sat down beside him.  Nadia spotted the remote in her hand and squealed loudly as she tried to get to it.  "Smile, Ben," she said, moments before she snapped the first picture.  "That's not a smile!  You look like you're going to eat Em!" she complained.

"No, but she seems to be trying to eat me," he pointed out.

She rolled her eyes, despite the smile on her face, and she snapped a few more pictures.  Just before she took another, he reached over and tickled her side.  She yelped and laughed, and in her reaction, she also managed to press the trigger button.  Ben chuckled at the image that popped up on the television for ten seconds.

"That's terrible!" she complained despite the giggles that were still slipping from her.

"I think I like that one best," he countered.

She tried to look stern.  It didn't work.  The babies, however, upon hearing the laughter surrounding them, giggled and screeched in excitement.  They were still smiling, too, when Charity snapped another picture.

Ben's laughter died down as he stared at the shot on the television, but his smile lingered.  "That's the one," he said.  No one was looking at the camera, but they didn't have to be.  They were all looking at one another, and the joy on their faces was unmistakable.

Charity uttered a happy little sigh as she hit the pause button and set the remote on the table.  "Yeah," she agreed as she stared at the image.  "Yeah . . ."