InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Purity ❯ Ultimatum ( Chapter 37 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Kagome sighed and rested her cheek on InuYasha's shoulder. He grinned, arms tightening as he held her before launching himself and her off the ground and into the trees. Dammit barked as she ran along on the ground. Kagome giggled. "Don't drop me," she remarked.

InuYasha snorted. "Keh! I thought you trusted me?"

"I do," she answered lightly, hugging him just a little tighter. "But the ground is a long way down."

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to take offense to that or not," he commented. She didn't miss his smile despite the disgruntled tone in his voice.

She leaned in closer, shifting her head so that her chin rested on his shoulder. "I'll just have to hang on tighter, then, won't I?"

"Oh, no, I think I'm going to drop—" InuYasha loosened his grip on her for a split second. Kagome didn't even blink. They'd played this game a few times too many in the past. InuYasha's smiled faltered. She never had fallen for the trick.

`You've got to tell her. She has a right to know what last night was about,' his conscience chided. InuYasha sighed. How was he supposed to explain to Kagome something that he wasn't fully able to explain to himself? He'd been awake the better part of the night trying to work all of it out in his head. It still didn't make any sense to him. With an inward snort, he wondered if it ever really would.

He lit on the ground on the edge of a clearing, and she slid off his back as she slowly turned her head, surveying the small meadow with an appreciative smile. He took Kagome's backpack before she was able to rummage around in it to see what he had packed.

She stepped over to him, reaching for the edge of the blanket that he'd pulled from the bag. He jerked it out of her reach and frowned. "Go pick flowers or whatever it is you girls do," he remarked in a purposefully gruff tone.

Kagome giggled, as though the idea that he'd presented hadn't occurred to her. "I haven't picked flowers since I was little."

InuYasha shook out the blanket and shrugged. "Take Dammit for a walk, then. You two need to spend more time together, anyway."

He didn't see the reluctant look Kagome shot him as he flicked the blanket again. It floated slowly to the ground. When he glanced over where Kagome had been, he saw her walking away. Dammit was staring at him in a decidedly irritated manner. "You need to make friends with her," he told the dog. "Don't look at me like that."

The dog stared at him another long moment then heaved a snort meant to show her dissatisfaction before turning and stalking off after Kagome.

He gazed at them, his eyes tinged with a hint of sadness as he watched Kagome sit down on a rock. The edges of her blue skirt caught the breeze, lilting like a flag. With every movement she made, her scent shifted, teased him. Everything about her called to him, the invisible hands of a very real muse.

`How can I tell her?' he asked himself yet again. He'd been asking himself that for the last four days. That he'd already been thinking about it had been bad enough. But to have it all so eloquently stated for his benefit by Sesshoumaru, of all people . . .

InuYasha sat down on the edge of the blanket and started to pull more items out of the backpack. The trouble was that it wasn't an easy to understand as Sesshoumaru had made it out to be. Last night had proved that to InuYasha, hands down. He hadn't been able to control himself. There was something about Kagome, about himself—about them—that had clouded over his better judgment, had precluded his reservations. He'd reacted to her on a purely primal level, and it had taken everything within him to leave her alone in the night. Thinking back on how he had behaved . . . He scowled as heat filtered to the surface of his skin. He'd acted like . . . well, like a dog. Kagome hadn't remarked on it. But surely she'd noticed his strange behavior, too.

If he had any idea where to begin forming a reason, it would be a lot easier. Unfortunately, he didn't have a clue. One explanation hinged on the other, and it was all jumbled in his head. `New moon . . . full moon . . . and those nights between . . .'

Sesshoumaru's words came back, as fresh in his mind as though he'd just heard them, "Youkai choose, InuYasha. Hanyou cannot, not really."

His eyes closed against the words that echoed in his mind. `Sesshoumaru is wrong,' he thought defiantly. `This hanyou . . . I'll choose.' The scent as soft as a gentle spring rain assailed him. He knew that scent as well as he knew his own, perhaps better. `Kagome . . .' InuYasha's eyes snapped open, his stare immediately lighting on the woman invading his thoughts. He deliberately pushed aside the guilty pang at his own selfishness. Surely Kagome would understand. She always understood.

`How many more sacrifices are you going to ask of her, InuYasha?' another voice spoke to him. `How many more times are you going to ask her to give up something she desires in hopes that you'll be happy, for a time? Can you not see what you'll be asking of her?'

He sighed and scowled at his bleak thoughts. He was fully aware of what he'd be asking of her. Wasn't that the real reason he was so reluctant to bring it up?

The sound of Kagome's laughter brought him back to his senses. She dropped onto the blanket beside him and held out a bouquet of flowers. InuYasha could feel his face redden as he slowly took the offering. "Why are you giving me flowers?"

"You said to pick them," she pointed out reasonably, leaning over him to retrieve her bag. "So I did. Besides, I've always wondered what you'd look like, with flowers in that hair of yours."

"What am I supposed to do with these?"

She ignored his surly tone as she pulled out their lunch. "Put them in your hair?"

"Keh!"

Dammit loped up to InuYasha and laid her head on his shoulder. She leaned in closer to the flowers, sniffing them gingerly. InuYasha held them up more so that Dammit could better smell them. The dog growled and snatched the blooms, yanking them out of InuYasha's hand and shredding them before he could even think to stop her.

Kagome's soft gasp drew his gaze, and slowly, hesitantly, he shifted his eyes to look at her.

She wasn't crying but she looked like it was a close thing. Quickly she blinked, her shock rapidly giving way to indignation. InuYasha braced himself for whatever was coming next. "I didn't mean for that to—"

As fast as the emotion had come, Kagome blanked her expression. "Forget it. It was stupid, anyway." She hurriedly thrust a container of food at him. "Here. You're probably hungry."

She was putting on a happy face, just for him, and he knew it. Why did it always make him feel like such a fool when she did that? He watched in silence as she opened her container and stared at it for a moment before she got up and offered the food to Dammit. "Kagome . . ."

Dammit's lips curled back and she snarled at Kagome just before snapping her jaws viciously. Kagome yelped and jumped back, stumbling over the edge of the blanket. InuYasha barely had time to toss his food aside as he shot to his feet. Dammit lunged. InuYasha caught her as Kagome covered her head and shrieked.

"Dammit!" he hollered, reigning in the desire to heave the animal. `Forget that,' he thought as he ground his teeth together so tightly his jaws ached. It took another minute for him to realize that the visceral growl that filled his ears was coming from himself. `I'm going to rip her fucking head off . . .' After shooting Kagome a quick glance to make sure she really was all right, he dragged the dog away, only dropping her once they were reasonably far from Kagome. "What the hell?"

Dammit wouldn't meet his glower. He cracked his knuckles in warning. The dog shot him a scared glance and whimpered.

"Talk fast, Dammit, before I break your fucking neck," he growled.

Dammit whined again and shook pathetically. `Her-r hur-rt Lor-rd Dog mor-re, always mor-re.'

"Have you been threatening her all along, even when I told you not to?" InuYasha demanded, his voice low, rumbling, intimidating.

She dared another look at him but dropped her gaze immediately when she saw InuYasha flexing his claws again. `No mor-re,' Dammit promised with a soft whine. She hadn't missed the tell-tale flash of red in his eyes. `Mer-rcy, Lor-rd Dog."

InuYasha shook his head. "I've told you. That's not Kagome. She's not to blame for anything. She didn't do a thing. What is your problem?"

Dammit just whimpered.

His anger waned just a little, enough that the desire to kill the dog had diminished. "If you so much as growl at her, ever again, I swear I'll fucking kill you, myself," he warned. "I won't choose between you and her, Dammit. There's not a choice. It's always been Kagome. She's my mate."

The dog's head shot up to stare at him before dropping quickly once more. InuYasha didn't realize exactly what he'd said for a moment. When it hit him, his eyes rounded, and he glanced over at Kagome to make sure she hadn't heard his words.

She sat huddled on the blanket in the same place where he'd left her with her arms wrapped protectively around her legs and her face buried in her raised knees. Without a second thought of the dog, InuYasha broke into a run, stopping only when he'd reached Kagome's side. He dropped to his knees beside her, touching her shoulder, smoothing the hair away from her face. The sight of the tears he had smelled nearly undid him. "Kagome? Why didn't you tell me?"

She didn't answer. A choked sob escaped her and InuYasha caught her as she threw herself against him. Smoothing her hair, murmuring in her ear that she was safe, that he'd never let anything hurt her like that again, InuYasha felt a merciless stab in his heart. He'd protect her, even if it cost him everything he had. But could he protect her from himself?

Slowly, she quieted. He shifted and pulled her closer. He couldn't see her eyes since she sat with her head against his chest. But her nose was red, and every now and again, she'd shiver when she tried to draw a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. She won't do it again."

Kagome gasped and sat up quickly. "You didn't . . . InuYasha . . . Tell me you didn't hurt her."

He couldn't help the incredulity in his expression as he gaped at Kagome. Had she lost her mind? Dammit had tried to attack her! Or did she really not understand? Either way, she'd been sobbing so hard, she had to have known something . . . but what? "I didn't hurt her," he began slowly, unable to keep the trace of irritation out of his tone. "But she tried to . . . Don't you realize what she was going to do?"

Kagome's gaze fell to her hands, clenched in her lap and she scrunched up her shoulders. "But she didn't, InuYasha . . . and I think . . . she was trying to protect you, is all."

His anger dissolved but left behind frustration that Kagome would still protect the dog. "I don't need protecting, especially from you."

The tears still standing on her spiky eyelashes glistened like diamonds in the sun. The salt in the moisture tickled InuYasha's nose. As he leaned down, Kagome's eyes fluttered closed. He slowly kissed away the dampness, feeling the traces of salt on his lips. She sighed against him, relaxed into him, asked him to shelter her without speaking a word.

One claw idly traced her jaw line as his lips rained down over her face. She shivered in his arms. He pulled her closer. Her mouth sought out his. The connection forged between them shot through his body and into hers. The temperature of her body was rising. Her flesh burned under his fingers, even through the layer of her clothes. He could hear her heart beating in an unpredictable pattern that tightened around his stomach like a fist, a pressure that was both wonderful and terrifying at the same time. The fragrance of her—of her tears, of her body—wrapped around his very soul.

He lowered her gently, leaned over her, kissed away her sighs, her moans. She tasted like everything pure, everything fresh, the morning dew on his tongue. His palm flat against the burning flesh of her belly, the material of her shirt teased the back of his hand. Sucking on her lower lip, grazing his teeth and fangs against the tender skin, he heard himself growl softly. It was a sound he'd never made before, an intonation that was foreign to him. He flexed his claws against her. She shivered again.

Her arms wrapped around him, held him close, as though she needed to be as near to him as she could be, she held him. She clung to him, her actions telling him how much she trusted him, needed him. Everything about her was paradox in motion. Soft and gentle, teasing and kind, she yielded to him with an underlying demanding, a silent hunger that drove him onward.

An odd sound penetrated his mind, a vague recollection of a shadow of a noise. It reminded him of something he didn't have the concentration to place, the whisper of a breeze, the flutter of a feather . . . something soft, something warm . . . something . . . that was Kagome. The sound came from her, a gentle whine, imploring him to give her something that he didn't understand any more than she did.

With the last traces of his sanity, InuYasha leaned away, gasping for air, eyes closed. There were things she didn't know, things that he had to tell her . . . Kagome whimpered softly, her hand idly toying with the hair that had fallen over his shoulder. When he finally trusted himself to look back down at her, he regretted it almost immediately. Her eyes burned into his, half closed, she stared up at him through her eyelashes. The way she looked at him made him want to forget the things that needed to be said. She swallowed hard, and her face flushed as she cleared her throat to say, "Why did you stop?"

With a sigh, InuYasha sat up and looked away. "We need to talk."

He felt her sigh more than he heard it. She sat up, too, her hands folded together in her lap. "All right."

"If we . . . What we were . . ." Dragging a hand over his face in exasperation, he berated himself, `Spit it out, will you? You've got to say it. Just say it.' He shot her a quick look. She was staring down at her hands. He couldn't see her eyes. "I want this, Kagome. I want us. But you've got to be sure you want it, too, because . . ." he trailed off, unable to finish his thoughts when he didn't have a clue what she was thinking.

She finally turned her head and stared at him. Her expression was solemn but not unhappy. He took courage from that, drawing a deep breath before plunging on. "Because once we're together . . . I'm half-human, it's true. But I'm also half-youkai, and when youkai mate, it's for life . . . and because, for me it's got to be forever with you. If you choose to be with me, Kagome . . . I wanted you to know."