InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Queer Eye for the Hanyou Guy ❯ The beginning of the beginning... ( Prologue )

Queer Eye for the Hanyou Guy

Disclaimer: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is the property of NBC/Bravo. The Fab Five are the property of themselves. The manga Inuyasha is written by R. Takahasi, and the anime ain't mine either. Any questions?

Chapter One

A/N: This story is set after Miroku proposes to Sango.

The shard search was going slowly. It had been a full three weeks since the Inu-tachi had last collected a Shikon Shard. With each passing day, Inuyasha grew surlier and surlier. And surlier and surlier and surlier and surlier. And even surlier than that. In short: not only was life in the Sengoku Jidai getting boring, it was getting downright unpleasant. Then, Kagome had an idea…

"A vacation?" repeated Inuyasha incredulously. "To the future? Are you mad, woman?"

"Look, whatever or whoever has the rest of the Shikon Shards seems perfectly content to bide his/her/its time," Kagome reasoned. "We are not going to find any shards anytime soon, so we might as well take a break. There's a carnival on the other side of the well today, so…" She trailed off, letting her friends make the connection. After much bluster and obstinacy, Inuyasha finally acquiesced.

An entire book could be written on the events of the carnival, but for the purposes of the story to be told here, I must summarize them. Inuyasha and Kagome went into the haunted house…and were promptly kicked out when Inuyasha attacked a skeleton he thought was threatening Kagome. This led to a tender moment that was interrupted by Shippou demanding cotton candy. In a scene remarkably sinister to the opening of the Teen Titans episode, `Sisters,' Miroku won a giant, stuffed chicken for Sango at a carnival game. The happy couple took a ride together down the Tunnel of Love…after Kagome convinced them that the swan boats were not Youkai. After they finished their ride, they tricked Inuyasha and Kagome into the same boat. The plan backfired; the two were so embarrassed that they didn't speak for the remainder of the carnival. And so it went…

Later that evening, the Inu-tachi was hanging out at Kagome's house, where they would be spending the night. There were two guest bedrooms: Inuyasha had one all to himself, and Sango and Miroku shared the other. Shippou spent the night playing with Kirara. ((A/N: Not that way, you pervs! Get your minds out of the gutter! That includes me!)) Only one event of the evening was at all relevant to our story. But it was relevant in a big way. This was the evening Miroku chose to discover television.

"What is this device?" Miroku asked, wide eyes fixed on the wooden box with the black glass. It was like nothing he had ever seen before.

"It's called a television, Miroku," Kagome said with a sigh of exasperation.

"And what does this `veletision' do?"

"Television, Miroku. Television." She tried to think of how to explain television to a houshi who had no concept of electricity. Finally, she settled on a very simple plan. "Here, just watch." She picked up the remote and turned on the TV. Immediately, Miroku was glued to the screen. (Typical guy.)

"Messages from the spirit world!" the monk exclaimed.

"Something like that," Kagome said. She decided to leave Miroku alone with his new toy. This is what is known as the point of no return. As Miroku watched, he got a wonderful, awful, and surprisingly non-hentai idea.

When a commercial break came, Miroku leaped to his feet and went looking for Sango. He found her reading a book in their bedroom."

"Darling," he said, "there's something on Kagome's magic spirit box that you should see."

"Magic spirit box?" Sango said, slowly enunciating each syllable. "This had better be good."

"She calls it a veletision. It's a magic box which shows moving pictures. Come on, These Messages are almost over."

With a sigh, Sango followed him into the living room…just as the announcer welcomed them back to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

"Miroku dear, what's a `queer eye?'" Sango asked.

"You'll see Sango. Believe me, you'll see…"

On the TV, Kyan (Grooming) took the straight guy to a barber and then to the spa. After he was cleaned up (And quite nicely too) they brought him back to his house, which Thom (Interior Decoration) had just finished remodeling. Carson (Fashion) had the straight guy show off his new wardrobe. Ted (Cooking) showed him how to cook his girlfriend's favorite dish, and Jai (Culture) gave him two prime-seat tickets to a romantic movie.

Sango sat in stunned silence as the TV cut to another commercial. Miroku grinned at her.

"Sango, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so, Miroku, but how are we going to get Sesshomaru to take off his boa?" (A/N: Don't own Pinky and the Brain.)

For the first and only time in his life, Miroku got to slap Sango. "No silly, this is about Inuyasha and Kagome."

Sango gasped. "You don't mean…"

Miroku grinned lecherously. "Oh, but I do, dearest. I most certainly do."

They sat down and composed a quick letter to the Fab Five.