InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Queer Eye for the Hanyou Guy ❯ The Insanity Continues! ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter Three

"Crap. Putrid. Ugly." Carson was going through Inuyasha's closet. "Good god!" he shrilled. "You've got one outfit, and it's just cloned itself a hundred times."

"And those feet!" Kyan proclaimed. "I mean, your blisters have blisters!"

"Comes of wearing no shoes," Carson agreed.

"Well, the house is pretty nice," Thom said as he entered the room. " I don't think I'll have so much work to do for once."

"This is Kagome's house," Inuyasha informed him. "I, uh, don't actually have one."

The Fab Five face-faulted, even though they weren't all in the room at the time.

"Look, I'm a demon!" Inuyasha explained. "Besides which, I've been pinned to a tree for Kami-only-knows how long! Do you expect me to own two villas in Palm Springs or something?"

"I suppose he has a point," Thom admitted. Ted joined them.

"There's more Ramen in this house than it is humanly possible to eat," he proclaimed.

"Well, I'm only half-human," Inuyasha replied.

"That is no excuse for that much Ramen. If you're going to confess your love, you're going to need to learn how to cook."

"Say WHAT?" Inuyasha snarled. He whipped Tetsusaiga from its sheath and advanced upon Ted…only to be cut off by the click of Carson's tongue.

"Hmm. Massive sword. Obviously compensating for something." Inuyasha faltered, and dropped the sword.

"But…I…uh…what…GAAHHH!" Inuyasha clapped his hands to his head and collapsed to the ground in a fetal position. Ted flicked him on the nose.

"Thanks," he said. "I needed that. Now, would you mind telling me how you know…I mean, where you got that, uh, totally false information about me and Kagome?"

"Kagome and me," Jai corrected as he entered. "Please tell me this are not your CDs," he added, holding up a copy of Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits.

"No, Kagome's." Inuyasha blinked, and his ears went back. "Hey! Quit evading the questions! Who's telling you that I have a thing for Kagome?"

"Honey, even if our sources were not completely anonymous, we would exercise complete confidentiality," Carson said.

At the exact same time, Kyan said, "A couple people named Miroku and Sango,"

Miroku and Sango were playing cards in the kitchen when they heard Inuyasha's feral roar.

"Think we should run?" Miroku asked.

"Definitely."

"Where are they! I'll tear them to pieces! I'll boil them up in a ramen stew, hang, draw and quarter what's left, chop them into little, bitty bits, throw those on the ground, and STOMP ON THEM!" Inuyasha bellowed. His eyes were starting to turn red.

This time it was Carson who flicked him in the nose.

"Calm. Down." Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"That really hurts, you know."

"It calmed you down, didn't it?" Carson asked.

"Fine, fine. Let's get this over with," Inuyasha sighed.

"That's the spirit," Thom said.