InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Reality ❯ Her Reality ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha.

 

A taboo subject extremely close to my heart.

 

 

The putrid smell of chemicals and cleaners permeated the air. To say she was not frightened would be a blatant lie… she was atrociously aghast. She clutched herself in a mock attempt at self comfort… for she was alone in her endeavors at self preservation. Of course the others didn't know she was there or what she was about to do… she had snuck out like a thief rendered helpless by the seemingly perverse circumstance she had placed herself in, which for others would have seemed natural and a sheer blessing. No! But not for her.

It was all planned… true to her nature, everything was precisely scheduled out. She had phoned the clinic, organized the procedure and found a way to and from her destination, all under the cover of night. For no woman ever wanted to be caught disposing of her own blunder.

It had all started off innocently enough; she had been accosted by his charms and boyish good looks. Not evaluating the severity of the situation she had yet to deem a relationship with the boy, she had naïvely fallen for his advances. Lulled by his vantage maturity she was swayed by his mantras of sweet nothings and simplictic romances. She would always remember that night as one of pure joy and grounding breaking ecstasy but also one of pain and severe stupidity.

The first sign, although rather unusual was the spotting. Exactly 10 days after the ponderous event with her panties down around her ankles, she observed with a curious bewilderment, discolored patches staining the pure white cotton. The predicament was a peculiarity as the girl had completed her monthly 2 weeks prior, far from any scheduled repercussion. Laughing it off as another flaw that accompanied the curse of the woman, she dismissed it completely and continued on in her blasé state of a new blissful love.

One week later, as she found herself empting out the contents of her stomach, her mind rolled back to that not so unusual event. Shaking her head in a comical denial she patted her stomach in a deplorable way of self soothing

Another week passed, a week of constant bouts of nausea and vile passing's of fatigue… anxiety hardened in her gut as the one week mark beckoned her late period.

Her internal ravings of dismissal had ended with the impenetrable truth

 

No... She riled over and over again in her mind. It couldn't be possible.

 

They had been safe.

 

No… it couldn't be

In a state of frenzied panic she had plundered through the streets of her neighbor searching for the community convenience store. Acquiring “the test” she crumbled behind the door of her apartment while absent-mindedly staring at the pink box which would verily determine her fate.

First Response- Over 99 % Accurate

Tells you first… 6 days early

Numbly opening the package, she observed the two plastic sticks, another bout of nausea washed over her. One she had become accustomed too. Anxiety.

8 Minutes later… two plastic sticks each with identical twin pink strips pointed accusingly at the girl, who was huddled in a mass heap behind her bathroom door.

Positive…

I'm pregnant…

 

Frail from her recent findings she found herself calling the only person capable of coherent thought at that time

 

“Sango, its Kagome… I'm pregnant,”

 

The OB/GYN' s office was formulaic and sterile… landscape portraits of stunning flora and fauna gave no amount of solace to the petrified girl.

“Congratulation, Ms. Higurashi, the test results came back positive, you are 4 weeks pregnant,”

Turning to her friend in pale contemplation, she shook her head.

“What can I do?”

“I am only 19. Sango, Please tell me what to do?”

Her gaze settled on the obstetrician whose mock sympathy was not well hidden by his uncaring eyes.

“Ms. Higurashi have you considered some of the options surrounding unwanted pregnancies?” shocked by his blunt comment, her non-satirical friend vouched for her friends plea.

“I think she is well aware of the options,” grasping her friends hand she motioned her towards the door.

“We will be in touch,”

After weeks of musing over the situation, the young girl had found confidence in the simple encouragements of her rowdy friend.

Standing before her mother was the most daunting experience of her life.

Her aged eyes stared wearily at her outstanding child. Not only had she gained numerous accreditations in her high school years but she had also received a formidable scholarship to the infamous Harvard College to study pre- law. Her child was smart and she had a world of hope resting on her future success. However in the next hour she learnt that her child may have been head smart but definitely not world smart.

She had never been so disappointed.

“Is InuYasha the father?”

“Yes, mother!” “He is the only person I have ever been with,”

“Have you told him?”

“Not yet,”

“Kagome, I think he deserves to know you are carrying his child,”

“I realize that mother,”

“Kagome, I really thought you were smarter than this, I am very disappointed in you. If your father was alive I am sure he would be too,” “But I still love you, none the less and I will support you in raising this child,” mortification rendered her speechless

“Raise the child,” she repeated numbly

Amidst the painful blur of her circumstance she found ample support in her small group of friends and family… each spewing their own form of comfort. However she had yet to face the father, who she had been childishly shunning for the past two weeks.

“Kagome, what's wrong love?”

Nibble fingers ran over her gaunt cheeks as she flushed with the impending truth.

“Why haven't you been answering my calls?”

“I've been busy. Please, will you sit down for a moment?” gulled at her complacency he obeyed her requested.

“InuYasha… this is hard for me to say so please just hear me out,” “that night we… ma… made love well, I got pregnant,”

Watching his face pale and transition threw numerous shades of red brought the daunting feeling of dread, once more to her gut.

“Pregnant” he rehearsed dumbly

“Yes,” she barked back

“You're keeping it right,” his amber eyes hardened as his gaze danced over her face.

“Well, My Mom and Sango want me to keep it, but …,”

“BUT, WHAT?” he replied in a reviled horror

“But I'm not sure if it's the best thing for me right now,”

“Best thing. What, don't I have a say in this?”

“Of course you do, but to be completely honest I thought you would want the same thing too,” she mused

“No chance in hell would I want to murder my own child. You know how I feel about family,” she nodded as her reverie brought to mind his close nit family.

“Marry me?”

“What?” she paused “No… no I am definitely not marrying you, just because I am pregnant?”

“Fine then move in with me. Please Kagome. Let me take care of you and the baby?”Cradling her head in his palm he ran his thumb along her cheek bone

“Why didn't you tell me earlier?”

“I was scared… I,”

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yes…” she faired in sheer agitation.

A few months passed and her life, much to her surprising displeasure, had made a turn for the unusual. Her mother was doting, her best friend solely supporting and her boyfriend whimsical in childish fantasies of a happy life with her and the child.

She rubbed her taunt stomach that now held a slight firm roundness to it.

She of course to the wishes of his and her own family, had decided to post-pone her journey to college for one year, so she could raise the child in its most impressionable year.

“One year off will do you no harm,” they retorted.

However, she was left detrimentally fazed by this change in freedom. No longer was she solely responsible for her own self but she was now in guardianship of a child she had yet to meet. She was left abounded in the pleas of those around her. She observed her dream as a blemish of her past naivety and her future responsibility. She was miserable. She was selfish.

He was ecstatic. Lovingly. Everything she would want in the right circumstance.

But she had had enough… this was not about them…it was about her.

Her body

Her future

Her…

And that is how she found herself 16 weeks pregnant… alone

Passing off her responsibility to youthful disclaimers

She was consenting to this with no prior acknowledgements from the founding members of her family and life. Who, if given the chance would be traumatized by her chose to abort her child.

He would be devastated

He didn't understand.

 

Abortion

 

What a simple word ridden with such a horrific connotation.

 

She observed the young women around her ... what shocked her most was the numerous 30-somethings that sat with such ease as they awaited their trial ending.

She rubbed her bully

I'm sorry baby; I'm just not ready for you

 

Briefly mourning she attempted to lull the fetus she had readily convinced herself was just a clump of nerves and cells…

Not a baby yet she repeated

The haunting clock read 12.45 am; no soul conspired their almost paganistic meeting.

That was until the door of the clinical riled in protest to a new visitor.

She was a tall slender female of an elegant stature; her features radiated a haunting beauty, as dark tresses framed her unrealistically flawless face. Her figure was wrapped in black sheer. Rubbing her arms in a futile attempt at warmth her eyes locked with Kagome's. Quickly averting her gaze the girl blushed as she had been caught staring. Shaking her head in amused response to the 19 year olds mistake, she turned to the receptionist.

Fiddling nervously with the pages of the Vanity Fair in her hand, Kagome gasped as the young female, who she assumed to be around the age of eighteen, took a seat besides her.

“Hello!”

“Hi,” Kagome breathed. It had occurred to her in the first half hour of her time at the clinic that it was an unwritten rule that no women were to converse. Ever.

Not at all

“I'm Erika or Eri… my dad calls me that,” she smiled

Looking at the offered hand as an almost offence, Kagome took it with a hesitant shake

“Kagome,” she bemused coyly

“So, how old are you?” the girl continued against her better judgment

“19,”

“Oh!” the awkward silence drifted painfully between the two. Through her peripheral vision, Kagome once again was flawed by the girl's undeniable beauty.

Before she could stop herself she continued

“How old are you?”

“18 in the summer,”

“Wow, are you thinking about University?” she nervously twitched at the uncomfortable question

She laughed “I'm already there; I'm studying law at Brown,”

“Seriously, that's amazing, you're so young?”

“Yeh I know but I really love it. I want to make a difference if you know what I mean. Change the world. But really I want to make my mom happy” nodding her head. Kagome found herself resenting the girl's successes.

“I understand what you mean,” pausing she twiddled her thumbs over her slightly swollen stomach “Does your mom know you're here?”

Smiling the girl shook her head “No,” “But she will soon enough,”

Staring at the girl strangely, she hesitantly observed her eyes. She found herself reflected in pure topaz…How she had not noticed perplexed her. They were gorgeous…almost like liquid gold.

“My goodness, you have amazing eyes,” the girl blushed at her compliment

“Thanks… they're from my dad,”

Lost in her translucent reflection, she misplaced her former question.

“You must have a wonderful father?”

She laughed in a deeper almost melodic voice “Yes, I definitely can't complain,”

“Kagome Higurashi. Could you please make your way to the front desk?”

Stifling the hardy breath she had taken over a subtle sob, she turned to the girl who soon enough would be facing the some atrocious predicament as herself.

Reaching to her she drew the slightly taller girl in to her arms. Erika pulled back; staring into her eyes she placed a feathery touch to her stomach.

“My mother once told me, a child does not stop life… it begins a new and amazing one.” A knowing smile graced her lips as her brows laced playfully above her eyes.

“Kagome Higurashi,” the speakers boomed as she released the girl.

“Thanks,” she murmured

The next fifteen minutes meshed into a disheveled blur of large medical words, frozen figures and horrific images. However time abruptly came to a stand still as a faint thump evoked an array of unhinged emotions she did not realize she possessed.

“What is that?”

The nurse soothingly stroked her palm

“That's the fetus's heartbeat. It's a girl,”

Frozen in place the reality of her current situation came down on her like a wall of cindered flames. No longer could she consider the child a lump of nerves that she had so readily condescended to be a problem. It was now a living, breathing entity. It was a girl

A baby girl.

Whose mother, the person it was reliant on to love and cherish, was about to dispose of her.

She was appalled… horrified… disgusted.

She clutched her stomach in an immediate panic.

“I can't do this!” she screamed

The nurse coercively placed her back down

“You're not thinking straight, consider the benefits. You will be free to pursue your dreams,”

“But at what cost?” she screeched back. Wrenching her hands from the nurses, she peeled herself off the surgical bed.

“I am sorry but I can not continue with this,”

Retreating the nurse nodded with a string of traumatic utterances. Bursting though the doors of the waiting room, she scanned threw the stunned faces of the begrudging women. She slightly panicked as the one face she sought did not appear. Turning to the receptionist who once cocked from her reverie stared in partial boredom

“What love?”

“Has Erika gone in yet?”

“Who?” she groaned in a bewildered distain

“Erika, the tall brunette, 18 years old. She arrived about half an hour after me,” frowning she pushed her glasses closer to her face.

“I'm sorry love but I don't remember an Erika and she definitely is not in the paperwork,” leaving the receptionist to sift through a large assortment of documents she eyed a curious red head.

“Sorry to disturb you but do you remember the young girl who sat next to me,” shaking her head she replied in a brandish whisper

“No you were by yourself the entire time,”

“That can't be possible. She was there; I remember her face as clear as anything,”

“May be it was just your mind playing tricks on you. Its not unusual for things like that to happen in a place like this,” the red head countered.

“No… I am positive she was here,”

She never did find the girl who had changed her perception of life so readily in that clinic…

For Kagome she would eternally be a name and a striking face. As time rolled on her due day paced closer. She never did tell her family about the almost barbaric nature of that horrific night.

She, however would always be left with the guilt; the cost she amused that would always stain her blemished reality of life.

As her baby grew, the love it evoked rendered her incapable of distain; it was so impenetrable it had become contagiously unhealthy.

Her relationship with the father. InuYasha Atsui also changed dramatically.

Her idealistic worship of him grew to a profound love. Pinned behind his roguish exterior was a loving father and husband awaiting release. She devoted her love to him emplace for his lone commitment.

Her family was nothing less of wonderful

As for her dream… she realized with a purposed smiled, had not died but had rather changed and formed into a new more superb being. She could study. She could be whoever she wanted to be.

However she had a companion. One solely capable of love and devotion. Someone she could never image living without.

And on the 12th of January she gave life to that person. Enwrapped in a bundled of silken pink her husband handed her, her daughter.

“Well hello Erika, I didn't think I'd ever see you again,” smiling, she stroked her indefinably beautiful daughters face.

“I love you with everything that I am and I am so sorry I ever contemplated hurting you. I will make it up to you every, single day of your life,”

 

Fin…

Consider the cost, way them up; delve into the realm of impossibility. A child has a soul the moment it is conceived. Please, please I beg you; consider the cost before you take a child's life.

My deepest love and wishes

Ezaangel….