InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Remnants of the Spider ❯ The Final Moments ( Chapter 18 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Lady Sianna 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 10.19.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.3K | Visits: 306 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama / Adventure / Action | Type: Divergence | Uploaded On: 10.19.2009 | Pages: 2 | Words: 4.3K | Visits: 306 | Status: Work In Progress
Remnants of the Spider
The Final Moments
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Kagome sat in the woods for a long time after Sesshoumaru’s departure. His visit had been only brief, but he’d left her with a lot to think about. The advice he had given her was sound, if not difficult to apply. A sad little smile formed on her lips.
“I’ll try.” she promised the empty clearing. “I’ll try.”
A single tear slipped from her dry, irritated eyes as she stared off into space. She wiped it away with the back of her hand before breathing deeply of the flower scented air. Absently she wondered why Sesshoumaru had been there in the first place. He hadn’t even mentioned Rin. If she didn’t know any better, she might have thought he came for the sole purpose of talking to her. But that didn’t make any sense. Sesshoumaru wouldn’t go out of his way just to talk to her. He had probably just heard her crying and wanted her to shut up. He had seemed a bit agitated. Maybe it was that whole inu thing. The scent of her tears had always affected Inuyasha similarly, only with Sesshoumaru he probably just didn’t like the smell. A half hearted scowl graced her features. ‘Well, if he didn’t like it, he should have just gone somewhere else.’
Placing her hand over her mouth, she yawned tiredly behind it. She was so sleepy. She had barely slept a wink last night. She was so upset, she had spent most of the night propped against the wall staring at Kaede. She had wanted to be the first thing the elder miko saw upon waking, and now she was paying the price for it.
‘Maybe…’ she thought as she lazily brushed her hair away from her face. ‘Maybe Sesshoumaru was just trying to be… nice?’ a small chuckle escaped her lips. Sesshoumaru being nice? It was one thing to think that he might actually possess real feelings, but being nice? To her? She must have been more tired than she realized. Her vision becoming slightly blurry, she looked toward the village. The thought of pulling herself to her feet and dragging her fatigued body back to Kaede’s was draining in and of itself. ‘Maybe I’ll just… I’ll just rest here for a moment.’ she thought as she slumped heavily against the well. There hadn’t been any demon attacks as of late, still, she knew she probably shouldn’t become too relaxed alone in the woods. She was just so tired. She soon felt herself sliding to her right side, but made no move to stop her progressive downward momentum. A short time later, she was lying in the soft grass, a quiet sigh escaping her lips.
She blinked languidly, and splayed her hand in the grass before her. Without thinking about her actions, she began to separate the strands before isolating a single one. Slowly she ran her fingers along its length and found that she was vaguely disappointed with its feel. ‘This isn’t like the other grass.’ she thought as she allowed her eyes to close. The darkness enveloped her for only a moment before a vivid memory flooded her mind. That grass, that soft silky grass. She could picture herself lying there beneath the powder blue sky, running her fingers through the unnaturally soft strands beneath her. The memory should have frightened her, but instead, she was filled with the same sense of peace and tranquility she had experienced when she was actually there.
“Do not mourn for Kaede.” a soft disembodied voice whispered to her. It’s feminine tone was familiar, and the brief moment of fear she had felt at it’s presence dissipated quickly leaving a calm reassurance in its stead.
“Masuyo-sama?”
But there was no answer. Instead, a scene began to play before her. Blurry at first, a figure gradually became more and more clear. It was Kikyou! She was badly injured, and bleeding profusely. She took a few shaky steps forward before collapsing to her knees. Her bow dropped lifelessly from her left hand while her right was curled into a tight fist. She could suddenly see several people surrounding the injured miko attempting to aid her. Most notably among them, a little girl. A little girl who wore a bandage over her right eye.
"Sister!" the girl cried desperately. "Please, we have to get your wounds treated!"
“It is already too late for me.” said Kikyou as she held a tightly clenched hand against her chest. She shut her eyes tightly as she appeared to fight through her pain. When she finally opened her eyes she looked down to the girl who stood at her side. “Kaede, you must see that the jewel is burned with my body. I will take it with me into the afterlife so that it will not fall into the hands of evil again.” With those words, the miko handed the girl what appeared to be a large light pink pearl. The Shikon no Tama!
“Sister!!!” the girl cried, her voice quavering with grief. “SISTER!!!”
She would receive no reply. Kikyou took her final breath before collapsing to the ground. The young girl, Kaede threw her smaller body over that of her sister, uncaring that she was staining her kimono with blood. She held her elder sibling with as much strength as she could muster, cradling her limp upper body against her. She began to sob piteously, and Kagome felt her heart clench with pain and sympathy at what she saw. Before a tear could slip from her eye, the scene faded to black, leaving her to wonder what was to happen next.
All to soon, another scene began to take place.
“I am not sure I fully understand, but I shall honor your last wish my dearest sister.” said the girl as she carefully placed the jewel into the cold hands of her dead sister. She then stroked her pale cheek lovingly as silent tears slipped from her single eye. A short time later, a man placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, gently coaxing her to move away. The robes he wore identified him as the village’s high priest.
A quiet gasp escaped Kagome’s lips as she realized just who the man must have been. “Their father!” she breathed quietly. Her heart ached that much more as the painful understanding of what he was about to do dawned in her mind. She listened as the priest began to speak. Though she could not make out what he was saying, she understood that he was offering a prayer. When he was finished, he looked down upon his daughter with solemn brown eyes. The shallow lines of his aging face deepened slightly with his apparent grief, though he did not shed a tear. After a long moment, he reached into his robes and withdrew a small glass bottle.
Reverently, he began to sprinkle the contents of the bottle over his daughter’s body. Once it was empty one of the male bystanders, a younger priest, collected the bottle, and handed him a long torch. A short discussion passed between them, and though once again Kagome could not make it out, she was fairly certain the man was offering to cremate Kikyou’s remains in his stead. The elder priest shook his head to indicate a negative response and gently patted the other man on the shoulder. The young male nodded hesitantly before bowing low and slowly backing away.
With many spectators, and mourners surrounding him, the priest slowly began to lower the torch. A high pitched wail gave him pause, and he lowered his gaze to the child by his side. Kaede was clutching tenaciously to his robes, her small form trembling violently as torrents of tears slipped down one side of her face. The priest clenched his jaw tightly, and seemed to take a few deep breaths to steady himself. Though his eyes were hard with resolve, his lower lip quavered just a little bit. He cupped Kaede’s small head in his free hand, turning her away from her sister’s remains. He gently buried her face against his robes, so that she would not have to witness what he was about to do.
He quietly mouthed a few more words, but Kagome could not tell if they were to himself, the gods, or the people surrounding him. Then, he began to lower the torch again. Kagome’s eyes widened, and her heart began to race. She did not want to see this, but somehow, she could not force herself to look away. The sting of unshed tears burned her eyes once more as her heart swelled with pain. Her breath caught, and her fingers curled into a tight fist as the golden orange flames drew dangerously close to the oil soaked material of Kikyou’s haori.
Mercifully, Kagome was spared from witnessing its ignition as the scene began to fade from her sight. Suddenly, the air around her changed and an unnatural wind swept around her like a miniature vortex. She felt like the world had been swept from beneath her, and the young miko shut her eyes tightly, as she grew fearful of falling.
The next thing she knew, the young miko was sitting in the shade beneath a large cherry tree. She looked up to its boughs just as a gentle breeze liberated several of its pink blossoms. They sprinkled down on her like a delicate shower, a single rosy petal brushing against her cheek as it fell. Raising a hand to brush away the light tickling sensation it left in its path, she noticed the trail of moisture that had apparently escaped her eyes. She quickly wiped her face with the sleeves of her haori, before raising her head to looked around. She gasped quietly when her eyes met with the hauntingly familiar meadow she had seen only one other time.
“Forgive me Kagome…”
The miko gasped again as Masuyo’s reassuring form gradually appeared before her. “Masuyo-sama!”
The spirit priestess smiled gently. “Forgive me,” she began again. “I did not wish to expose you to such a disheartening scene, but it was necessary. Now you will more readily understand.”
“Understand what?” Kagome asked guardedly.
Masuyo’s smile widened slightly. “Do you recall what we discussed the last time we met?”
Thinking over the question for a moment, Kagome answered, “We discussed many things.”
The elder priestess nodded. “Indeed we did. Now however, I am speaking of what I disclosed to you regarding the Shikon mikos.”
“Shikon mikos?” she asked, her brows drawing together in a thoughtful frown. And then it suddenly made sense. ‘I created this shrine as a resting place for the mikos who spent any portion of their lives protecting the jewel.’ The memory of Masuyo’s words echoed through her mind, immediately followed by the vision of a young Kaede placing the Shikon jewel in the hands of her deceased sister.
As if she had seen and heard the same thing Kagome had, Masuyo continued, “That single act assured Kaede a place in my shrine.”
Looking behind her in the direction where she had seen the shrine before, Kagome’s eyes widened as the expansive staircase appeared once again. At the summit, sat the Torii gates which lead to the shrine. After a moment, she turned back to Masuyo to see a reassuring smile on the miko’s lips. Considering her words carefully, the young miko spoke again. “I’m sorry, Masuyo-sama, I know it’s selfish of me, but… I don’t want Kaede to… to leave me. I want her to live”
Surprising her, Masuyo laughed; a small womanly chortle that managed to lift Kagome’s spirit just a little bit. “Do not chide yourself needlessly, Kagome. Your desire to keep her with you is not selfish, it is simply human. I well know that you care a great deal for her, as she does for you.” She paused briefly before continuing. “But now, it is time that you let her go.”
Kagome’s lower lip began to tremble perilously. “But I don’t… I don’t want to let her go!”
Masuyo moved to her side, before gathering the girl into her arms. “I know that this is difficult for you. You have such a caring heart.” She stroked her hair gently. “Therefore, you must understand that the longer Kaede stays in the land of the living, the longer she will continue to suffer. Her pain is greater than you realize. She hides it well so as not to disturb yourself and the others she holds dear.”
Kagome pulled back slightly to look at her. “I-I didn’t know.” she confessed almost guiltily as she wiped away a stray tear.
“That is because she wishes it so.”
After a moment, Kagome nodded her understanding, and Masuyo smiled softly. The elder priestess then gestured for her to turn around so that she was again facing the shrine. “Kaede has spent the vast majority of her life seeing to the health and wellbeing of others.” She pointed toward the shrine and said, “In this place, she can have the peace and happiness she was denied in life.”
The younger miko looked at her. “But what about Toshiro? That’s what she wanted, she wanted to live together with him; to be his wife. How can she have that now?”
“Like Kaede, many other Shikon mikos have made tremendous sacrifices for the good of others. This shrine is many things to many women. Once she enters the building, everything she sacrificed will be returned to her. Her youth, her beauty, even… her lost love. The only difference will be that she will never have to fear loosing any of it. In this place, her happiness will be eternal. Do you not want that for her?”
“Of course I do!” Kagome answered more harshly than she had intended. She took a deep breath, and looked toward the shrine again. Her shoulders slumping, she continued, “It’s just… I’m going to miss her so much.”
Masuyo stroked her hair again, regaining her attention. “Then enjoy the time she still has. It draws short even as we speak. Make the best of what remains.” Kagome looked at her, and the elder priestess’ intense gaze prevented her from looking away. “And remember, Kagome… do not dwell on that which you cannot change.”
Kagome gasped at the familiar words, but added to her surprise was an unexpected jolt which shook her whole body. Her eyes opened wide, and the first thing she saw were a pair of golden irises staring down on her. “Sesshou--?” she began. ‘No.’ she realized after a moment. ‘Not Sesshoumaru.’ The eyes were larger, more expressive and missing the crimson markings on the lids. There were no magenta striped cheeks, and instead of elfin ears, there were dog ears protruding from a thick main of silver hair. “Inuyasha?” she said as she sat up and looked around. She was back in the clearing near the well. She must have been dreaming just now. She began rubbing her eyes to rid them of the last vestiges of sleep. In her mild disorientation, Kagome did not notice the hard glare being leveled on her.
‘She almost called me Sesshoumaru.’ the hanyou thought resentfully. How in the hell could she possibly mistake him for that jerk?
“What are you doing here?” she asked, drawing his attention.
“I should be asking you the questions around here. Why are you sleeping this time of day? Not to mention that you’re alone in the woods. You know, you really outta quit being so careless all the time! It‘s a good thing I found you rather than some stray demon, or even a human with bad intentions. You could have gotten hurt!”
By sheer force of will, Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She knew he was right, but she really wasn’t in the mood for a lecture right now. “Yeah well, I’m awake now so…” she trailed off as she noticed the strange look he was giving her. “What??!!” she asked defensively.
“Why is Sesshoumaru’s scent on you?”
Initially, Kagome frowned at the mild accusation lining his tone. But then she took a moment to actually consider his question. That’s right, Sesshoumaru had touched her. It had been only brief, but he had touched her chin. The reminder made her feel a little odd. Though she knew it was completely meaningless, it seemed slightly… intimate. Resisting the urge to blush, she put the thought aside, to focus her attention on the hanyou again. No doubt Inuyasha wouldn’t like hearing about it, even though it was really no big deal. As she wasn’t in the mood to argue with him she simply stated, “I saw him this morning.”
The hanyou frowned. “Yeah, what did the bastard want?”
This time Kagome frowned as well. “You know you really shouldn’t call him things like that. He is your brother after all.”
“Why are you defending him?!”
“I’m not! I’m just saying it’s not nice to call people names.” At his dubious expression, Kagome moved away from him and stood up. “Look, I don’t have time for this right now. I have a lot on my mind, and I need to get back to Kaede.”
“Humph. You still didn’t answer my question.” he pointed out just as she brushed passed him. She turned slightly to look at him. “Why was Sesshoumaru even around here? The girl is with Kaede isn’t she?”
“First of all, her name is Rin. Secondly, I don’t know why Sesshoumaru was here. You‘ll have to ask him that yourself.” she told him, her tone lacking slightly in patience. She had briefly considered that same question herself, but had not come up with any real answers. It didn’t matter. Right now she just needed to be careful what she said to Inuyasha. The only reason she had been out here in the first place was because she had been so upset about Kaede and she knew she couldn’t tell him about that. The elder miko was not ready to have her illness known to the others just yet. She had learned her lesson, and would do her best to respect her mentor’s wishes.
Inuyasha just stared at her. He felt like she wasn’t telling him something; something important. The idea bothered him. A lot. Kagome never kept secrets from him, not to mention the fact that Sesshoumaru’s scent was on her. He well knew that simply sharing space could cause an exchange of scents, but his gut was telling him that it was more than that. He didn’t like it, but really, what could he say?
“Well, if we’re done here, I really need to be getting back.” said Kagome, bringing his train of thought to an end. They stared at one another for a long moment, Kagome waiting to see if he would say anything more, and Inuyasha overcome by indecision over what to do next. The last time he had offered to walk her back to the village, she had refused him. It bothered him more than he was willing to admit, and right now, he really didn‘t want to go through that again. Still, he didn’t want to let her go alone.
“Well?” the miko asked impatiently.
“Fine, whatever.” he finally said. “I got stuff to do anyway.” And with that, he leaped away from her. Kagome watched him go before she began the short trek back to the village. Honestly, who did he think he was fooling? She could sense him in the trees above her. Would he ever grow up?
___________________________________________________________________ _____
In a way, things were easier after that. Kagome understood now, and while she still was not looking forward to her mentor‘s passing, she understood what it would mean. Kaede would finally be happy. Truly happy.
She also took the advice that Sesshoumaru had given her. Sometimes it was harder than others, but from that day on, she made it a point not to dwell on the things she could not change. Instead, she focused on the here and now; taking each day as it came.
For nearly two weeks after the day she’d awakened in the clearing, things were relatively good. She went home that day and stocked up on medications for pain and nausea. Although Kaede’s appetite remained scant, Kagome prepared her meals and insured she ate as much as she could. She cleaned and washed her clothing each day to keep the smell of her sickness to a minimum. She ensured that the priestess took her medicines daily so that her pain and nausea were kept at bay. She took pictures, shared stories from her time and graced the elder miko with many hugs and gestures of affection. When the elder miko was up to it, both women and the children would go for short walks through the village, or simply sit outside in the sun to take their meals. It wasn’t much, but served to lift their spirits, if only for as short time. Her miko duties suffered greatly for her diligence, but Kagome didn’t care. All that mattered was that she make the best of the time her friend had left in this world.
Toward the end of the two weeks however, Kagome began to notice an unwanted change. The medications’ affect was beginning to wane. More and more was required until the maximum amount that could safely be given was no longer effective. After that, things went downhill pretty fast. Over the next week, Kaede’s health began to crash, and soon she was no longer able to hide the state of the miko’s health from Rin and Shippou. Initially when they’d ask, why she was always sleeping she would simply tell them that she was tired, but as her symptoms worsened, and her skin became increasingly discolored, the simple explanation could no longer suffice.
Finally, she broke down and told them the truth. So as not to disturb Kaede, Kagome made sure to tell them far away from the elder miko’s ears, even though she had been sleeping at the time. She told them of her dream and explained that as long as Kaede continued to live she would only suffer. It had been three days ago, and even though they knew Kaede‘s soul would find happiness and peace, they did not take the news well. She, Shippou and Rin had sat together under the stars and cried for hours together.
Afterwards, she wiped their tears away, and told them that they needed to be strong. “Do not let Kaede see you crying.” she had told them; and they had obeyed. She knew it wasn’t easy for them, but she also thanked Kami for the strength they displayed in her presence.
Sitting with her back against the wall, Kagome gently placed a hand on the crown of Kaede’s head. Out of habit, she looked over to watch the rise and fall of her chest to ensure that she was still breathing. She had not been sleeping well these past few nights. She was afraid to. She couldn’t take the chance that Kaede would die during the night, and she would not know until the following morning. The thought was deeply disturbing to her. She knew it would be hard, but oddly, she wanted to be there when it happened. She wanted Kaede to know that she was by her side when she took her final breath.
“Kagome?”
Startled, Kagome snatched her hand from Kaede’s head. “I’m sorry!” she apologized in a hushed voice so as not to wake the children. “I-I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Ye… did not, child.” she wheezed, her voice slightly hoarse from sleep. Kagome quickly grabbed a bottle of water that she had brought from her time. Unscrewing the cap, she carefully helped the elder miko take a few sips. “Thank ye, child.” she said after she was finished. For a long time after that, the two women were silent, and Kagome assumed that the miko had gone back to sleep.
“Kagome.” the miko called again, and the younger priestess looked at her. “My time… is running out, Kagome. I think… I think it is time to tell the others.”
________________________________________________________ ________________
The Final Moments
_______________________________________________________________ _________
Kagome sat in the woods for a long time after Sesshoumaru’s departure. His visit had been only brief, but he’d left her with a lot to think about. The advice he had given her was sound, if not difficult to apply. A sad little smile formed on her lips.
“I’ll try.” she promised the empty clearing. “I’ll try.”
A single tear slipped from her dry, irritated eyes as she stared off into space. She wiped it away with the back of her hand before breathing deeply of the flower scented air. Absently she wondered why Sesshoumaru had been there in the first place. He hadn’t even mentioned Rin. If she didn’t know any better, she might have thought he came for the sole purpose of talking to her. But that didn’t make any sense. Sesshoumaru wouldn’t go out of his way just to talk to her. He had probably just heard her crying and wanted her to shut up. He had seemed a bit agitated. Maybe it was that whole inu thing. The scent of her tears had always affected Inuyasha similarly, only with Sesshoumaru he probably just didn’t like the smell. A half hearted scowl graced her features. ‘Well, if he didn’t like it, he should have just gone somewhere else.’
Placing her hand over her mouth, she yawned tiredly behind it. She was so sleepy. She had barely slept a wink last night. She was so upset, she had spent most of the night propped against the wall staring at Kaede. She had wanted to be the first thing the elder miko saw upon waking, and now she was paying the price for it.
‘Maybe…’ she thought as she lazily brushed her hair away from her face. ‘Maybe Sesshoumaru was just trying to be… nice?’ a small chuckle escaped her lips. Sesshoumaru being nice? It was one thing to think that he might actually possess real feelings, but being nice? To her? She must have been more tired than she realized. Her vision becoming slightly blurry, she looked toward the village. The thought of pulling herself to her feet and dragging her fatigued body back to Kaede’s was draining in and of itself. ‘Maybe I’ll just… I’ll just rest here for a moment.’ she thought as she slumped heavily against the well. There hadn’t been any demon attacks as of late, still, she knew she probably shouldn’t become too relaxed alone in the woods. She was just so tired. She soon felt herself sliding to her right side, but made no move to stop her progressive downward momentum. A short time later, she was lying in the soft grass, a quiet sigh escaping her lips.
She blinked languidly, and splayed her hand in the grass before her. Without thinking about her actions, she began to separate the strands before isolating a single one. Slowly she ran her fingers along its length and found that she was vaguely disappointed with its feel. ‘This isn’t like the other grass.’ she thought as she allowed her eyes to close. The darkness enveloped her for only a moment before a vivid memory flooded her mind. That grass, that soft silky grass. She could picture herself lying there beneath the powder blue sky, running her fingers through the unnaturally soft strands beneath her. The memory should have frightened her, but instead, she was filled with the same sense of peace and tranquility she had experienced when she was actually there.
“Do not mourn for Kaede.” a soft disembodied voice whispered to her. It’s feminine tone was familiar, and the brief moment of fear she had felt at it’s presence dissipated quickly leaving a calm reassurance in its stead.
“Masuyo-sama?”
But there was no answer. Instead, a scene began to play before her. Blurry at first, a figure gradually became more and more clear. It was Kikyou! She was badly injured, and bleeding profusely. She took a few shaky steps forward before collapsing to her knees. Her bow dropped lifelessly from her left hand while her right was curled into a tight fist. She could suddenly see several people surrounding the injured miko attempting to aid her. Most notably among them, a little girl. A little girl who wore a bandage over her right eye.
"Sister!" the girl cried desperately. "Please, we have to get your wounds treated!"
“It is already too late for me.” said Kikyou as she held a tightly clenched hand against her chest. She shut her eyes tightly as she appeared to fight through her pain. When she finally opened her eyes she looked down to the girl who stood at her side. “Kaede, you must see that the jewel is burned with my body. I will take it with me into the afterlife so that it will not fall into the hands of evil again.” With those words, the miko handed the girl what appeared to be a large light pink pearl. The Shikon no Tama!
“Sister!!!” the girl cried, her voice quavering with grief. “SISTER!!!”
She would receive no reply. Kikyou took her final breath before collapsing to the ground. The young girl, Kaede threw her smaller body over that of her sister, uncaring that she was staining her kimono with blood. She held her elder sibling with as much strength as she could muster, cradling her limp upper body against her. She began to sob piteously, and Kagome felt her heart clench with pain and sympathy at what she saw. Before a tear could slip from her eye, the scene faded to black, leaving her to wonder what was to happen next.
All to soon, another scene began to take place.
“I am not sure I fully understand, but I shall honor your last wish my dearest sister.” said the girl as she carefully placed the jewel into the cold hands of her dead sister. She then stroked her pale cheek lovingly as silent tears slipped from her single eye. A short time later, a man placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, gently coaxing her to move away. The robes he wore identified him as the village’s high priest.
A quiet gasp escaped Kagome’s lips as she realized just who the man must have been. “Their father!” she breathed quietly. Her heart ached that much more as the painful understanding of what he was about to do dawned in her mind. She listened as the priest began to speak. Though she could not make out what he was saying, she understood that he was offering a prayer. When he was finished, he looked down upon his daughter with solemn brown eyes. The shallow lines of his aging face deepened slightly with his apparent grief, though he did not shed a tear. After a long moment, he reached into his robes and withdrew a small glass bottle.
Reverently, he began to sprinkle the contents of the bottle over his daughter’s body. Once it was empty one of the male bystanders, a younger priest, collected the bottle, and handed him a long torch. A short discussion passed between them, and though once again Kagome could not make it out, she was fairly certain the man was offering to cremate Kikyou’s remains in his stead. The elder priest shook his head to indicate a negative response and gently patted the other man on the shoulder. The young male nodded hesitantly before bowing low and slowly backing away.
With many spectators, and mourners surrounding him, the priest slowly began to lower the torch. A high pitched wail gave him pause, and he lowered his gaze to the child by his side. Kaede was clutching tenaciously to his robes, her small form trembling violently as torrents of tears slipped down one side of her face. The priest clenched his jaw tightly, and seemed to take a few deep breaths to steady himself. Though his eyes were hard with resolve, his lower lip quavered just a little bit. He cupped Kaede’s small head in his free hand, turning her away from her sister’s remains. He gently buried her face against his robes, so that she would not have to witness what he was about to do.
He quietly mouthed a few more words, but Kagome could not tell if they were to himself, the gods, or the people surrounding him. Then, he began to lower the torch again. Kagome’s eyes widened, and her heart began to race. She did not want to see this, but somehow, she could not force herself to look away. The sting of unshed tears burned her eyes once more as her heart swelled with pain. Her breath caught, and her fingers curled into a tight fist as the golden orange flames drew dangerously close to the oil soaked material of Kikyou’s haori.
Mercifully, Kagome was spared from witnessing its ignition as the scene began to fade from her sight. Suddenly, the air around her changed and an unnatural wind swept around her like a miniature vortex. She felt like the world had been swept from beneath her, and the young miko shut her eyes tightly, as she grew fearful of falling.
The next thing she knew, the young miko was sitting in the shade beneath a large cherry tree. She looked up to its boughs just as a gentle breeze liberated several of its pink blossoms. They sprinkled down on her like a delicate shower, a single rosy petal brushing against her cheek as it fell. Raising a hand to brush away the light tickling sensation it left in its path, she noticed the trail of moisture that had apparently escaped her eyes. She quickly wiped her face with the sleeves of her haori, before raising her head to looked around. She gasped quietly when her eyes met with the hauntingly familiar meadow she had seen only one other time.
“Forgive me Kagome…”
The miko gasped again as Masuyo’s reassuring form gradually appeared before her. “Masuyo-sama!”
The spirit priestess smiled gently. “Forgive me,” she began again. “I did not wish to expose you to such a disheartening scene, but it was necessary. Now you will more readily understand.”
“Understand what?” Kagome asked guardedly.
Masuyo’s smile widened slightly. “Do you recall what we discussed the last time we met?”
Thinking over the question for a moment, Kagome answered, “We discussed many things.”
The elder priestess nodded. “Indeed we did. Now however, I am speaking of what I disclosed to you regarding the Shikon mikos.”
“Shikon mikos?” she asked, her brows drawing together in a thoughtful frown. And then it suddenly made sense. ‘I created this shrine as a resting place for the mikos who spent any portion of their lives protecting the jewel.’ The memory of Masuyo’s words echoed through her mind, immediately followed by the vision of a young Kaede placing the Shikon jewel in the hands of her deceased sister.
As if she had seen and heard the same thing Kagome had, Masuyo continued, “That single act assured Kaede a place in my shrine.”
Looking behind her in the direction where she had seen the shrine before, Kagome’s eyes widened as the expansive staircase appeared once again. At the summit, sat the Torii gates which lead to the shrine. After a moment, she turned back to Masuyo to see a reassuring smile on the miko’s lips. Considering her words carefully, the young miko spoke again. “I’m sorry, Masuyo-sama, I know it’s selfish of me, but… I don’t want Kaede to… to leave me. I want her to live”
Surprising her, Masuyo laughed; a small womanly chortle that managed to lift Kagome’s spirit just a little bit. “Do not chide yourself needlessly, Kagome. Your desire to keep her with you is not selfish, it is simply human. I well know that you care a great deal for her, as she does for you.” She paused briefly before continuing. “But now, it is time that you let her go.”
Kagome’s lower lip began to tremble perilously. “But I don’t… I don’t want to let her go!”
Masuyo moved to her side, before gathering the girl into her arms. “I know that this is difficult for you. You have such a caring heart.” She stroked her hair gently. “Therefore, you must understand that the longer Kaede stays in the land of the living, the longer she will continue to suffer. Her pain is greater than you realize. She hides it well so as not to disturb yourself and the others she holds dear.”
Kagome pulled back slightly to look at her. “I-I didn’t know.” she confessed almost guiltily as she wiped away a stray tear.
“That is because she wishes it so.”
After a moment, Kagome nodded her understanding, and Masuyo smiled softly. The elder priestess then gestured for her to turn around so that she was again facing the shrine. “Kaede has spent the vast majority of her life seeing to the health and wellbeing of others.” She pointed toward the shrine and said, “In this place, she can have the peace and happiness she was denied in life.”
The younger miko looked at her. “But what about Toshiro? That’s what she wanted, she wanted to live together with him; to be his wife. How can she have that now?”
“Like Kaede, many other Shikon mikos have made tremendous sacrifices for the good of others. This shrine is many things to many women. Once she enters the building, everything she sacrificed will be returned to her. Her youth, her beauty, even… her lost love. The only difference will be that she will never have to fear loosing any of it. In this place, her happiness will be eternal. Do you not want that for her?”
“Of course I do!” Kagome answered more harshly than she had intended. She took a deep breath, and looked toward the shrine again. Her shoulders slumping, she continued, “It’s just… I’m going to miss her so much.”
Masuyo stroked her hair again, regaining her attention. “Then enjoy the time she still has. It draws short even as we speak. Make the best of what remains.” Kagome looked at her, and the elder priestess’ intense gaze prevented her from looking away. “And remember, Kagome… do not dwell on that which you cannot change.”
Kagome gasped at the familiar words, but added to her surprise was an unexpected jolt which shook her whole body. Her eyes opened wide, and the first thing she saw were a pair of golden irises staring down on her. “Sesshou--?” she began. ‘No.’ she realized after a moment. ‘Not Sesshoumaru.’ The eyes were larger, more expressive and missing the crimson markings on the lids. There were no magenta striped cheeks, and instead of elfin ears, there were dog ears protruding from a thick main of silver hair. “Inuyasha?” she said as she sat up and looked around. She was back in the clearing near the well. She must have been dreaming just now. She began rubbing her eyes to rid them of the last vestiges of sleep. In her mild disorientation, Kagome did not notice the hard glare being leveled on her.
‘She almost called me Sesshoumaru.’ the hanyou thought resentfully. How in the hell could she possibly mistake him for that jerk?
“What are you doing here?” she asked, drawing his attention.
“I should be asking you the questions around here. Why are you sleeping this time of day? Not to mention that you’re alone in the woods. You know, you really outta quit being so careless all the time! It‘s a good thing I found you rather than some stray demon, or even a human with bad intentions. You could have gotten hurt!”
By sheer force of will, Kagome resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She knew he was right, but she really wasn’t in the mood for a lecture right now. “Yeah well, I’m awake now so…” she trailed off as she noticed the strange look he was giving her. “What??!!” she asked defensively.
“Why is Sesshoumaru’s scent on you?”
Initially, Kagome frowned at the mild accusation lining his tone. But then she took a moment to actually consider his question. That’s right, Sesshoumaru had touched her. It had been only brief, but he had touched her chin. The reminder made her feel a little odd. Though she knew it was completely meaningless, it seemed slightly… intimate. Resisting the urge to blush, she put the thought aside, to focus her attention on the hanyou again. No doubt Inuyasha wouldn’t like hearing about it, even though it was really no big deal. As she wasn’t in the mood to argue with him she simply stated, “I saw him this morning.”
The hanyou frowned. “Yeah, what did the bastard want?”
This time Kagome frowned as well. “You know you really shouldn’t call him things like that. He is your brother after all.”
“Why are you defending him?!”
“I’m not! I’m just saying it’s not nice to call people names.” At his dubious expression, Kagome moved away from him and stood up. “Look, I don’t have time for this right now. I have a lot on my mind, and I need to get back to Kaede.”
“Humph. You still didn’t answer my question.” he pointed out just as she brushed passed him. She turned slightly to look at him. “Why was Sesshoumaru even around here? The girl is with Kaede isn’t she?”
“First of all, her name is Rin. Secondly, I don’t know why Sesshoumaru was here. You‘ll have to ask him that yourself.” she told him, her tone lacking slightly in patience. She had briefly considered that same question herself, but had not come up with any real answers. It didn’t matter. Right now she just needed to be careful what she said to Inuyasha. The only reason she had been out here in the first place was because she had been so upset about Kaede and she knew she couldn’t tell him about that. The elder miko was not ready to have her illness known to the others just yet. She had learned her lesson, and would do her best to respect her mentor’s wishes.
Inuyasha just stared at her. He felt like she wasn’t telling him something; something important. The idea bothered him. A lot. Kagome never kept secrets from him, not to mention the fact that Sesshoumaru’s scent was on her. He well knew that simply sharing space could cause an exchange of scents, but his gut was telling him that it was more than that. He didn’t like it, but really, what could he say?
“Well, if we’re done here, I really need to be getting back.” said Kagome, bringing his train of thought to an end. They stared at one another for a long moment, Kagome waiting to see if he would say anything more, and Inuyasha overcome by indecision over what to do next. The last time he had offered to walk her back to the village, she had refused him. It bothered him more than he was willing to admit, and right now, he really didn‘t want to go through that again. Still, he didn’t want to let her go alone.
“Well?” the miko asked impatiently.
“Fine, whatever.” he finally said. “I got stuff to do anyway.” And with that, he leaped away from her. Kagome watched him go before she began the short trek back to the village. Honestly, who did he think he was fooling? She could sense him in the trees above her. Would he ever grow up?
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In a way, things were easier after that. Kagome understood now, and while she still was not looking forward to her mentor‘s passing, she understood what it would mean. Kaede would finally be happy. Truly happy.
She also took the advice that Sesshoumaru had given her. Sometimes it was harder than others, but from that day on, she made it a point not to dwell on the things she could not change. Instead, she focused on the here and now; taking each day as it came.
For nearly two weeks after the day she’d awakened in the clearing, things were relatively good. She went home that day and stocked up on medications for pain and nausea. Although Kaede’s appetite remained scant, Kagome prepared her meals and insured she ate as much as she could. She cleaned and washed her clothing each day to keep the smell of her sickness to a minimum. She ensured that the priestess took her medicines daily so that her pain and nausea were kept at bay. She took pictures, shared stories from her time and graced the elder miko with many hugs and gestures of affection. When the elder miko was up to it, both women and the children would go for short walks through the village, or simply sit outside in the sun to take their meals. It wasn’t much, but served to lift their spirits, if only for as short time. Her miko duties suffered greatly for her diligence, but Kagome didn’t care. All that mattered was that she make the best of the time her friend had left in this world.
Toward the end of the two weeks however, Kagome began to notice an unwanted change. The medications’ affect was beginning to wane. More and more was required until the maximum amount that could safely be given was no longer effective. After that, things went downhill pretty fast. Over the next week, Kaede’s health began to crash, and soon she was no longer able to hide the state of the miko’s health from Rin and Shippou. Initially when they’d ask, why she was always sleeping she would simply tell them that she was tired, but as her symptoms worsened, and her skin became increasingly discolored, the simple explanation could no longer suffice.
Finally, she broke down and told them the truth. So as not to disturb Kaede, Kagome made sure to tell them far away from the elder miko’s ears, even though she had been sleeping at the time. She told them of her dream and explained that as long as Kaede continued to live she would only suffer. It had been three days ago, and even though they knew Kaede‘s soul would find happiness and peace, they did not take the news well. She, Shippou and Rin had sat together under the stars and cried for hours together.
Afterwards, she wiped their tears away, and told them that they needed to be strong. “Do not let Kaede see you crying.” she had told them; and they had obeyed. She knew it wasn’t easy for them, but she also thanked Kami for the strength they displayed in her presence.
Sitting with her back against the wall, Kagome gently placed a hand on the crown of Kaede’s head. Out of habit, she looked over to watch the rise and fall of her chest to ensure that she was still breathing. She had not been sleeping well these past few nights. She was afraid to. She couldn’t take the chance that Kaede would die during the night, and she would not know until the following morning. The thought was deeply disturbing to her. She knew it would be hard, but oddly, she wanted to be there when it happened. She wanted Kaede to know that she was by her side when she took her final breath.
“Kagome?”
Startled, Kagome snatched her hand from Kaede’s head. “I’m sorry!” she apologized in a hushed voice so as not to wake the children. “I-I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Ye… did not, child.” she wheezed, her voice slightly hoarse from sleep. Kagome quickly grabbed a bottle of water that she had brought from her time. Unscrewing the cap, she carefully helped the elder miko take a few sips. “Thank ye, child.” she said after she was finished. For a long time after that, the two women were silent, and Kagome assumed that the miko had gone back to sleep.
“Kagome.” the miko called again, and the younger priestess looked at her. “My time… is running out, Kagome. I think… I think it is time to tell the others.”
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