InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Resurgence ❯ Chapter 5

Blanket Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of the characters therein. They are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, and she does a beautiful job!

 

Chapter 5

 

 

 

 

I awoke later that day startled. My scream filled the air.

 

Silence welcomed me.

 

My hand rushed to my head. `I could have sworn that dream was so real,' I thought as I grabbed at the covers. I pulled them closer to me, the cold night air nipping at my exposed flesh.

 

The sun had made its way down the horizon. The dark blackness covered the earth.

 

I let out a large yawn. I pulled the covers off my body; I had a sudden urge to use the bathroom.

 

I stood up, and I looked down.

 

I was bare.

 

My eyes widened in realization.

 

My body started shaking convulsively.

 

I brought my shaky hands to my face. My mind raced through all the memories I thought were just a horrible dream.

 

Flashes of images, men I could never love were over me, crowding me. My psyche flashed InuYasha, some moments he was there. They were the sweet moments, the tender moments. My mind flashed back, Kouga was in front of me instead of him. The images were racing through that horrible event, and I had no way to stop it.

 

I fell to my knees. My body hunched over as I rocked back and forth, my tears coming out so strong that my voice had no power. I was in a silent struggle with myself, and no one knew the truth of the matter.

 

I rushed to the bathroom. I turned the valve so the water could travel into my basin.

 

As the water poured from the spout I scrubbed ferociously at my fresh.

 

“I need to get it off! It needs to come off!” I repeated over and over again.

 

I could feel their hands over my body, touching me in my private areas. The memories I only wanted to share with the love of my life were now violated, a haunting of the moment in which my rapists took my dream all away.

 

I submerged myself into the tub. I took all the soaps I could get my hands on. I scratch my flesh so much that my nails began to break my skin, the red color bleeding into the white clear surface.

 

It was ironic how much I truly felt like that. I was so pure, so innocent, but blood and lust entered me, and now I was forever tainted.

 

My wounds started hurting from the torture I was inflicting on myself. The salt in the water was burning my flesh as it entered the sores.

 

After about five more minutes of scratching and tearing at my skin my sobs cracked my body.

 

I leaned over the side of the tub and vomited all the materials of my stomach. My head leaned on the cool ceramic surface.

 

I just laid there for a few moments with my head on the side of the basin. I wanted to escape it, but the images just kept coming back to me. My cries never let up.

 

I raised my head as I looked into the tub.

 

The water was tantalizing. I wanted to submerge and never come up. There was no way I could face my father after this, and how could I tell him? How would I be able to tell him that his daughter was violated in the worst ways possible, while he was just a few hundred feet away? He would never be able to forgive himself. He would go mad with that knowledge. I could never do that to him.

 

I once more started what was becoming my ritual of swaying back and forth. It was all too much. The hurt, the pain, the suffering, the physical humiliation, and I had no one to tell.

 

I leaned my head on my raised knees. My strength at fighting this horrible event flew from my body.

 

Could I not just churl up and die?

 

I wanted my life to end. There was nothing to live for…no one…

 

“InuYasha,” I stated his name out loud, reminding myself that even if my life had gone to hell, he would always be there for me.

 

My eyes widened, “InuYasha,” I restated the name.

 

What was I going to do about InuYasha? I…I could never tell him. How would he look at me after this? Would he even want to be with me after I had been defiled by another man? Two other men?

 

My worry escalated. He would never want to touch me again. I reassured myself of that fact.

 

New sobs broke through my throat, but these weren't from the torture that I had been through, the way my body had been handled…these were for my love - my love that I would not ever be able to speak to again.

 

And how could I? I would never be able to face him without falling apart. It would be best to never see him again.

 

Silently swaying back and forth, my legs curled under my body, I vowed to myself right then and there that InuYasha would never have to endure the pain that I was forced to go through.

 

I would let him live his life.

 

He could still be happy.

 

He could still marry and have a wife, but he would just not have me.

 

There would be many women that would love to have his affection, and he deserved it. He deserved that and so much more.

 

I was useless to him now.

 

I had become, in just a few hours, a shell of my former self. I didn't ever think that I would ever be the same.

 

Never.

 

I would always remember that moment of my life. When I closed my eyes, I could see their faces. They would haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.

 

And I would endure it to protect the ones I loved.

 

 

 

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A/N: I have been holding off the rape part and how she deals with it afterwards for sometime now. I have had these chapters for awhile, but I wanted to make sure that they were perfect. I want to convey how she could be feeling, and I know that there is so many ways a person could cope with being through what Kagome went through, but as we go through these next few chapters, I hope that you all will bear with me. I am trying to make this as realistic as possible.

 

Hope you all like it so far! Please review!