InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Resurgence ❯ Chapter 7

Blanket Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of the characters therein. They are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, and she does a beautiful job!

 

Please forgive any spelling and grammatical errors. I try to catch them if I see them, but I could have missed some. So just tell me if you see any, and I will change them!!

 

Chapter 7

 

 

 

I really did not know how long I stayed in my room. Time after time Sango or my father would walk in only to turn and go back through the door when they saw me staring lifelessly through the windowpane.

 

I could not help my reaction to the situation. It was almost involuntary. I shut myself out from the world, my family, my friends…my love. All of it needed to be removed.

 

Not that I wanted it to happen that way, but that is how it did. I found myself not being able to listen to the chatter, worrying next to my ear. When the calls for our meals came, I could no longer bring myself to leave the comfort of my room.

 

I never wanted to leave this area again. I could not face the world.

 

I could not say that it was only because of the situation either. I was in mourning. How can one get over the love they had for another? Was it ever really possible?

 

My lips began to quiver as I went over the same conversation I had been having with myself and every time I did…I would get the same results.

 

“No,” I stated to no one in particular, a light trail of a tear escaping my eye, traveling softly down my face.

 

I swiftly tried to wipe at it. I hated to cry for that reason. After all I had been through, all I dreamed about in my worst nightmares; the things that made me cry were my desires of him.

 

I shook my head at how hopeless that was. I could no longer have that desire. I had to lock it away.

 

I tightly closed my eyes, feeling the tears tremble in my frame. The loneliness I kept feeling was coming.

 

I wanted him here to hold me. I wanted him here to shush away my fears. I wanted him here to dry away my tears. I wanted him here for everything, but he could be here for nothing.

 

That is when my abandonment started to set in. I hated that I felt that way towards him, but when I knew how much I needed him - how much I wanted him, and then I knew that he would never come…I felt deserted.

 

A light knock sounded at the door.

 

I immediately tried to straighten myself. I would rather look like a lifeless zombie than a woman on the edge of insanity.

 

The door cracked a smidgen, “Kagome.”

 

I inwardly trembled, my father was here again. Of all my guest that tried to talk to me, I felt the worst with my father. `We would never be able to go on that walk again,' I thought sadly.

 

I would never be the same spunky, little, naive girl that had walked with him some odd days ago. I could never be that hopeful. I could never think that I had it all in front of me when my life was over.

 

“Kagome,” he said lightly.

 

He was in the room now. I was unnerved by the fact that I had been missing so much with just the activity going on in my own quarters.

 

“I,” he began.

 

He was right behind me now.

 

He sounded so shaken and helpless. My lips trembled. I hated doing this to him, but this was what was best for him, right?

 

I heard him sigh. He took a couple of steps forward. He was directly behind me now.

 

“Kagome,” he said my name again.

 

He placed his hand on my shoulder. I automatically twitched. His touch was so cold. It reminded me so much of their touch.

 

Reluctantly he moved his hand away, “Kagome, please look at me,” he begged softly. “At least let me look at you - let me know that you are okay. That you hear me,” his voice started to trail off.

 

I did not really know what to do. I was at a point in the road of sorts. Do I let him look at me? Do I let him see the torment in my gaze? Do I let him see how lifeless I had become in just a short amount of time?

 

“Please Kagome, it's been over a fortnight,” he tried again.

 

That news took me off guard, `Fourteen days…it has been over fourteen days.'

 

What I had thought was only a couple of days were weeks. I must look so lifeless. Everyone must think I went crazy.

 

I slowly began to face him. I could not hide in the shadow forever. I still had a duty, didn't I?

 

I reached were my fathers voice had been. Expecting a gasp of surprise by how torn his daughter looked, or horrible silence as he shook his head back and forth seeing into my soul. Seeing everything I never wanted him to see, but when I turned around and opened my eyes…he was gone.

 

I smiled sadly. It was for the best, I had to reassure myself of that. He truly did not want to see my demons.

 

The door was still slightly opened, the crack allowing all the business from the estate to enter my room, the servants rushing to and fro, making the rooms, and straightening the estate.

 

I heard footsteps hover by my door, the shadow from the owner casting slightly into my room.

 

A light knock sounded.

 

I took in a deep breath, `today must be the day for visitors.'

 

I did not trust my voice to answer. It had been so long since I said one word to anyone.

 

I straightened myself as I waited for the person on the other side of the door to step through.

 

Hesitantly the wooden door opened. I saw Sango standing on the other side. Her brown locks disarrayed, little wisps of hair falling out of her jumbled bun.

 

She stopped in the doorway. Her hand going to her face as she let out a little gasp, “I apologize, my lady.”

 

I managed a small upturn of my lips, “Do I appear that hideous?” I began to shake my head. `Of course you do,' my mind reminded me.

 

I inwardly cringed. I now wished I had never turned to face the door. Every member of the household would know from just looking at me how impure I was.

 

Sango recovered quickly, “No - no it's not that,” she reassured me. “It's just,” she began hesitantly, “I have not seen your face in so long,” she replied a bit broken.

 

I had to turn away from her then. I could not bear to think that she was sad because I had been neglecting her. “I'm sorry.”

 

She rushed toward my side. I felt her hand resting on my shoulder, where my fathers had been just minutes ago, “My lady…” her speech faltered.

 

“Please,” I begged quietly.

 

I assume she understood my request; her hand began dropping off my shoulder. She held her hands in her lap, “We miss you,” she replied instead.

 

I let out a little chuckle, “You sound as if I have been anywhere but here.” I could not help the slightly bitter edge to my voice.

 

I saw her body twitch out of the corner of my eye, “but you have.”

 

I could tell that she did not wish to discuss this matter with me, and I felt the same. I never wanted to speak about it. I just wished that I would be let well enough alone, but that hope was too good to be true.

 

“What is the date today?” I asked when the tension began building. The last day I remember was the 18th of April, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was already May with the way my father had been talking.

 

“It's the twenty-second of May.”

 

My eyes widened. `The twenty-second of May,' my brain screamed at me. There was only one thought that smashed into me. One realization that I needed to deem, “Did I have my course?” I mumbled to myself.

 

I could no longer remember. I had my courses every month on the twenty first of each month, but that means that I was late…late by more than a month.

 

But why would I be late? I had never been late before. Maybe it was because I was so stressed, or maybe it was because I had not been eating like I usually did. Or maybe it was because…

 

I could not finish the thought

 

Could I truly be? No. It was absurd. But when I kept calculating the days, adding the numbers in my head the answer kept screaming itself at me. The answer was so obvious that I began to feel light headed and sick.

 

`I'm with child.'

 

And then my sight went black.

 

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A/N: I know it's crazy!! I bet no one was expecting that! Haha.. I hope everyone is still interested in this thing. Please remember to leave a review! I really appreciate the feedback!

 

Sorry about the delay. My computer charger died so I had to wait for my insurance people to send me a new one, but good news while I have been away, my boyfriend proposed to me!! Yes, it was amazing, but now, there is planning and planning and planning, and then, school starts on my birthday (jan. 14th) so that's not fun, but oh well…I am trying to make the best of it

 

Hope everyone is doing well, and had a great holiday! Please remember to review!