InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Resurgence ❯ Chapter 8

Blanket Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of the characters therein. They are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, and she does a beautiful job!

 

Please forgive any spelling and grammatical errors. I try to catch them if I see them, but I could have missed some. So just tell me if you see any, and I will change them!!

 

 

*This chapter contains back flashes about the rape scene in italics, so if you do not want to read it just skip the huge section of italics below*

 

 

 

Chapter 8

 

 

 

 

I felt hands gripping my own, voices, very soft voices pleading with me to wake up.

 

My brow furrowed at that, `wake up…why would I need to wake up?' I thought softly.

 

“Please,” the voice was begging.

 

I tried to urge my eyes open, I longed to set the voice at ease, but no matter how hard I tried, my eyelids stayed in place.

 

The hand brushed over my palm. The hand was familiar some how, like I knew the owner, but the voice… I could not place the voice.

 

“Kagome…I need to see your eyes,” I heard the voice beg me. The pleading was something very real. This voice…whoever it was, really cared a lot for me. I could hear the heartbreak with every word they spoke.

 

“I need you, Kagome.”

 

I knew that voice. That voice belonged to the most important person to me, the voice of my InuYasha…my love.

 

Abruptly my eyes opened, “InuYasha,” I urged his name out.

 

“Oh Kagome,” I heard him reply as he rapped his arms around me as best he could.

 

I felt my lip tremble, “I had the worst dream,” I started brokenly.

 

“Shhs,” he quieted me, “You have plenty of time to tell me.”

 

I let my tears fall freely as he held me. I had missed him. I had missed him so much. That dream had felt so real, but it could not have been. He was here with me. There is no other way to explain that except that it was all a horrible nightmare.

 

“I have been so worried about you.”

 

Confusion took hold of my body. His voice sounded so different all of the sudden, as if he were a different person, as if he were…

 

I pulled back swiftly.

 

My eyes widened in realization.

 

I began to shake convulsively.

 

“What - what are you doing here?” I questioned him loudly.

 

He looked shocked that I was speaking to him in such a way. The bastard actually looked confused.

 

“I am your betrothed, Kagome.”

 

I began to shake my head in denial. “No - no you have to be bearing false witness,” I replied as I placed my hand to my heart. “My father would never force me into anything that I did not want to be a part of.”

 

He lightly shook his head, “Your father had not forced you. You accepted my advances two days ago….”

 

I brought my hand to my head. It was all becoming too much. `Two days ago? How could I not remember what he is claiming to be true?'

 

I looked over at him. His curious blue eyes searching over me, “Who all was a witness to our engagement?”

 

He shrugged slightly, mildly shaking his head as he searched through his memory for the answer, “Your father, your handmaid, my right hand man, and a stable boy.”

 

My eyes widened at this, “Stable boy?”

 

He just shrugged, “I suppose he wanted to see an official proclamation of some sorts. Your father could not deny him his entrance, but the peculiar thing about him…he seemed so torn watching it…as if his heart were breaking.” He let out a little chuckle, “I suppose you have one of your servants in love with you, Kagome.”

 

My heart broke.

 

Everything was coming in clear now. I felt my eyes moisten as I went through that day.

 

- Flashback -

 

Sango was over me when I came to. I brought my hand to my forehead, “What happened?” I questioned groggily. I had images, but they were all blurry nothing really made sense.

 

I saw Sango shaking her head, “I am not precisely sure,” she replied honestly.

 

I started to sit up, “Ugh, I feel like I have been run over by a horse.” Once I sat up fully, I had an immediate urge to hurl. My eyes widened, “Sango….” I motioned to her with my hands to help me up.

 

She hurriedly helped me up, and I ran to a trash bin. I emptied my stomach of what little contents were within to the small basket. As soon as the fluid left my throat, I felt more at ease. The need to hurl - the sickness itself was gone.

 

Sango made it to the bathroom as I began to stand up, “Lady Kagome, I brought the nurse. Is everything…”

 

I looked over at her as she trialed off, “Everything is fine.” I answered truthfully, “I just had that sudden urge, but I feel as if I am perfectly fine now.”

 

Sango and the nurse only looked at me skeptically, “Are you positive,” Sango asked.

 

I lightly nodded my head, “Yes. Now…what were we talking about before I woke up?” I asked when I dried my hands on the bath cloth.

 

I saw Sango confused, she was gripping at the words, “I believe we were discussing how long it's been since…”

 

My eyes widened, “How long has it been again? What was the date?” I rushed out - my trembling feeling coming back.

 

Sango's eyes widened as she looked at me. Her understanding not coming to her, she was just worried for me, “It has been a little over a month. The twenty-second of May. Lady Kagome, what ever is the matter,” she urged me.

 

I only began to shake my head, “No - no this cannot be happening.”

 

“Lady Kagome,” Sango pleaded with me.

 

I locked eyes with my handmaid, my best friend, as tears began to fall down my face, “Oh Sango,” I lunged toward her.

 

She gripped me tighter as my hold on her loosened.

 

My nightmares had come true. I was with child. My purging in the toilet was proof of that. Add to that the measure that my courses missed this month…I was at least a month pregnant.

 

We fell to the ground.

 

I heard Sango mumble to the nurse to let us alone, and not to tell anyone about this. I was so grateful to have her. She always looked out for what was best for me.

 

“Kagome,” I heard the worried tone in her voice. “Please tell me what has been going on…I have been worried about you. We all have. Your father. InuYasha…”

 

My sobs increased as she mentioned his name. Sango was the only person that knew about my relationship with the stable boy.

 

The tears tore from my soul. All my hiding. All my resolve at closing off the others around me began to fall apart. Was it worth it? Could I actually deal with this pain for the rest of my life?

 

My tears began to calm and quiet down. I was able to trust my voice.

 

“How is he?”

 

I did not mention his name. She already knew who I was speaking of.

 

She pulled slightly away from me, but her arms still held me tight. “Aside from worrying about you every two seconds…he is fine,” she let a small laugh escape, but I could still hear the troubles in her voice.

 

“I see.”

 

“Kagome…what really happened? Can you not tell me?” The concern was coursing through her voice.

 

I tightly closed my eyes and turned my head away, “I must never speak of it to anyone. Can you understand that?” I asked her evenly.

 

She hesitated, “but can no one help you? You cannot tell anyone…me, your father, InuYasha?”

 

“Especially none of you,” I replied brokenly. “Please…promise me,” I begged her as I turned my tear streaked face to her.

 

Her mouth was slightly opened as she looked into my eyes. I saw her chocolate orbs begin to tremble as she slightly shook her head, “I promise, my lady.”

 

I gave her a watery nod back. “Well then,” I began to make my way up. “I suppose

nothing more can be done on the matter. You are dismissed Sango,” I replied as evenly as I could.

 

She looked at me incredulously.

 

In all my years I had known her, I had never dismissed her as if she were lower then me, but I needed her to leave the room. This charade I was trying to pull off was failing fast.

 

I saw hurt enter her eyes before she made to get up, “yes, my lady.”

 

She left the room, never turning back.

 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 

As soon as the door closed my trembles began unguarded.

 

Whose child was I carrying?

 

I forced myself to go through my torment - my hell, to search for the answer.

 

Each image was like the scraping of my flesh all over again.

 

I felt myself squirming as I thought of Kouga over me. I flinched as I made it to the next image.

 

Bankotsu held my top down as I looked on in horror as Kouga began to strip himself of his clothes.

 

I heard Kouga mumble something, but I wasn't quite sure what was said. After a moment, Bankotsu straightened himself up, but immediately Kouga got into his place.

 

I felt more tears trickle down my face as I saw him leaning over me, his body free from any clothing that he should have been wearing.

 

He was so gentle with the way his hand ran over my body. I was almost certain he had a mild shaking, from nervousness or what…I did not know, but I was most certain that he felt uneasy about something.

 

His hand slid down my forearm as he kissed me, his tongue running shakily around my mouth, I wanted to bite him, making him move his tongue, but I had this feeling that I would undergo guilt about it afterwards, or that I might be struck. The latter made me allow his advances.

 

I felt him using his knees to spread my legs. I tried to push him off of me, but my efforts were in vain. He was twice my size in muscle and weight. It would have never worked.

 

He started kissing the side of my neck. His wet mouth leaving his saliva traces as he moved across my pulse. I felt his hand cup my womanhood. I tried to hold back my sob, but a small cry emerged from my lips.

 

His lips covered mine as well, and then his finger plunged into me.

 

He was smart enough not to try and put his tongue in my mouth. I knew I would bite him. I would have left guilt and fear in the dust.

 

He started spreading my legs wider. I tried and tried to move out of his way. Forcing him to stumble in his actions was my hope, but the hard work failed every time.

 

He would just move me back right where he wanted me, not letting up in my endless torture.

 

He started grunting in approval as new wetness met him. I felt him adjusting himself.

 

I felt tears running down the side of my face as I stopped thinking about the fateful day over a month ago.

 

I could live life without knowing who had impregnated me…couldn't I?

 

I thought about my father. I would ruin his whole life if he knew that I was deflowered. He would loose everything because of me. I could never do that to him, so with one final resolve…I pushed through the final moments before I blacked out.

 

Kouga was first to probe me. With my delusional fantasy about my love, he was able to slip inside of me without much effort at all.

 

Abruptly my eyes opened, “Kouga.” I stated his name in horror.

 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 

There was no reason to debate who the father was. I knew. Bankotsu would never spill his seed in me. He never wanted anything to do with me. Kouga was the father of my child, Kouga…my obsessed lover.

 

I would never be able to escape this man ever again.

 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 

I had made my mind up to finally do what I vowed I would never do. Something that would put my mother to shame, but I no longer had a choice.

 

I lost my life.

 

The life I was living was borrowed now. I lived only for the child inside of me.

 

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

 

Later that day, to my amazement and horror, Kouga had come to see me.

 

He acted as if everything was fine. Maybe the Gods were laughing at me. Mocking me from where ever they resided, but I no longer cared.

 

He came to me and asked me what he would always ask when he got the chance. He bent down, pulled my hand into his palm and looked me deeply in my azure orbs, “Lady Kagome, I would be honored if you would do me the honor of becoming my wife.”

 

I felt my insides break. More of my sanity flew apart as I stared at the man in front of me. I could never love him.

 

Never.

 

My shell I felt starting to form when I vowed to myself what I would have to do to keep my loved ones from harm was coming in place. The outer shell was not hard, but more like an extra layer of skin, “I would be pleased to honor your request.”

 

The shell doubled in size.

 

Kouga's blue eyes locked on mine - amazed. He swiftly came to his feet and rapped his arms around me, twirling me in a huge circle. “You will not regret this,” he promised me as he leaned down to kiss me.

 

I was no longer present in my body.

 

This drone that I had began to be great friends with was now in charge of my movements.

 

He pulled away from me and held my face in his palms, “We must tell your father.”

 

I was briefly aware of my head shaking in a positive manner, and then we were swept into the hall to announce our engagement.

 

I looked up and there across the hall…was InuYasha. He looked so torn - so heartbroken, but this was my fate. I could not turn back the hands of time.

 

End Flashback -

 

I stared into his cobalt eyes as he waited for me to admit what he already knew.

 

The last of my resolve broke.

 

The shell was complete.

 

“I am to be your wife,” I replied without emotion.

 

*

*

*

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Dumdum dum!!! Yes, I know I am horrible, but it has to be done. The story must go on! Please remember to leave a review. I really appreciate it when I got an opinion about this story, and once again thanks for reading!