InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Revelation, Realization & Redemption ❯ chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters they are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. This story was written for the purposes of entertainment and I by no means will profit from the story other than the satisfaction of exercising my imagination and writing abilities.

 

 

Chapter 9

 

Sango watched Kagome carefully. There was definitely something bothering the younger woman she regarded as a sister. Kagome had been acting strangely since Sesshomaru had shown up almost a week ago. The Demon Lord had not shown up since, so Sango doubted that Kagome's troubles had anything to do with him. The taijiya watched as Kagome again tried some charm that Miroku was trying to teach her. She had never seen the girl so focused before. The warrior's soul in her respected the younger girls' focus, but her woman's heart told her something deeper was behind this sudden change.

 

It's not that Sango believed Kagome to be a flighty young girl with no sense of direction. That was far from it. But this fierce determination, the training until past the point of exhaustion was out of character for Kagome. To Sango's keen mind it could only mean that something was wrong. So the taijiya had begun to watch her friend more closely. Soon she suspected that it had something to do with Inu-baka.

 

Kagome had offered no real proof of this to those that did not know her. But Sango did know her. The clues were subtle, but they were there. The haunted look in her eyes when the girl looked at the baka and thought no one had seen. Once Sango thought she had heard a sad sigh from Kagome after Inuyasha had walked past the young girl. If the Hanyou hadn't stopped for a split second Sango would have thought she had imagined it. But Sango's keen eyes didn't miss a thing.

 

The taijiya had taken to watching Inuyasha closely as well. Soon it was clear that he was avoiding Kagome as much as he could. Any excuse to be away from her or the rest of them for that matter was taken. He scouted the area more than he had been apt to, and he no longer slept in the tree top directly above Kagome, he was now opting for trees within view, but a little farther from the group. He too seemed to have withdrawn from them.

 

Whatever happened between the two of them? They had managed to keep quiet about it, but she did worry about Kagome. The young girl was getting stronger everyday. Yesterday she had managed to summon the shard from a fire demon without fainting afterwards. For a brief moment Kagome seemed to have returned to her old self again as she reveled in her success. But it ended quickly when the girl saw Inuyasha. The hanyou had given her a cursory “good job” before he leapt into a tree, sullen and withdrawn again. Sango saw the look of defeat flicker in Kagome's eyes for a moment or two before she had been able to push it away. Sango resolved that at the next opportunity that she would ask Kagome what was wrong.

 

That evening the opportunity presented itself. The two girls were resting in the hot springs alone. Sango thought this the perfect time to broach the subject with her friend. “Kagome, did something happen between you and Inuyasha?” Sango asked gently as they sat there in the warm water.

 

“Why do you ask?” Kagome asked eyeing her friend warily. Her heart beat faster, she had been found out. She had tried so hard to be herself and she had failed. “Do not give in to this. Don't say anything!” Her mind screamed, reprimanding her heart for its foolish feelings.

 

“Well, the two of you seem to be avoiding each other. At first, I thought it was the miko training that had you so worked up, but now….”

 

“I'll be fine.” Kagome replied quietly, willing herself to be strong.

 

“I know you will. I don't mean to pry. You know I'm here if you need to talk, or smack that baka on the head.” This earned her giggle from her troubled friend.

 

“I know. I just wanted…” Kagome faltered here, she had made the fatal mistake of looking Sango in the eye. The compassion and understanding shining in her friend's eyes was more than her resolve could bear. She did need to talk to someone. A silent tear escaped and slid down her cheek. Her friend's willingness to hear her out was all her heart needed to over ride her earlier decision to keep this to herself. “Oh, Sango…” Kagome began before launching into a retelling of all she had overheard.

 

Sango listened quietly as her friend gave voice to the hurt inside her. Her righteous anger rose as the taijiya witnessed Kagome's tears for that baka. When Kagome had finally finished Sango offered the miko a comforting hug to steady the storm of emotions Kagome was trying so desperately to control. “Kagome, Inuyasha won't be the last man on earth you will ever love. Nor will he be the only one who will hurt you. You have had a crush on him for so long. I know this hurts now, but in time…”

 

“No. It's not that.” Kagome whispered gently as she pulled away from her friends embrace. Her eyes looked into Sango's willing the other girl to understand as she continued “I've known about Kikyo for a long time. Inuyasha has never hidden the fact that he loves her, I've accepted that. There was no hope for anything between Inuyasha and myself, not in this time anyways. My stay here is temporary. Whether we fail or succeed will determine where my future shall lie, but it won't be here. I know when this is over, everything will change. What bothers me is that I had thought he had at least come to terms with the simple fact that I am different from Kikyo. I thought he knew that I was something more than Kikyo's reincarnation. What hurts is that's all he sees when he looks at me. I know it shouldn't hurt me, but it does.”

 

“That's because he's a baka.” Sango replied, her righteous anger glimmering in her eyes.

 

“No, it's because I possess her soul. Well part of it anyway. How could he not? I look like her. Apparently he thinks I have the best of her.”

 

“You can't let that get to you. That stupid hanyou would say anything to try and get through to her. Besides, you know it's not true. You know you're more than that.”

“I know. I`ve always known that I was different than her. His brother confirmed it the other day. Sesshomaru told me that I have the power of another priestess, that I have her soul as well. I'm beginning to wonder if I could ever be my own person.”

 

“Did Sesshomaru say whose soul you possess?”

 

“No. He just said that she had more power than any miko he had ever met until now. I guess I shouldn't be so upset, its' just that I'm tired of reminding everyone of someone else.” She ended with a sigh.

 

“Well, if it's any consolation to you, you don't remind me of anyone I have ever met before. Remember Inuyasha and Sesshomaru have been alive for who knows how long, you're bound to be similar to someone. Who knows how many people have come and gone from their lives? Just be flattered that you are able to remind them of someone who was memorable to them.”

 

Kagome smiled. She hadn't looked at it that way. In fact the thought had never occurred to her before. Inuyasha's words still tugged at her heart. She wasn't about to admit that to Sango. However, Sango's words were a balm to her bruised self esteem. Kagome had begun to feel that she had lost her identity. Sango had made her realize that wasn't true. She remembered then that Sesshomaru had mentioned a new energy that he had never felt before. Yet another unanswered question that she had no answer for. Kagome resolved to ask him at her next available opportunity.

 

“Thanks for listening.” Kagome said as the other girl got out of the water.

 

“Anytime.” Was Sango's reply as she left Kagome in the springs alone.

 

Kagome sighed to herself. She pulled her knees to her chest. She hadn't told her friend everything. There was no way she could tell her about the dreams she had been having. For some reason they were more intense now than before, and when she woke up she had always felt guilty. How could she dream of someone like that? Wasn't she suppose to care for Inuyasha? Maybe she was just more homesick than she let on. That had to be the reason she was having those dreams about Hojo. She'd had them from time to time during her stay in the area. Lately however they were getting more and more vivid.

 

Hojo was very cute and very sweet. He was her support. Being with him while she was home always seemed to find focus before she came back to this time. She knew he had romantic feelings for her. A deep part of her heart knew what he felt for her was deeper than just a passing interest. Yeah, he would ask her out on dates and spend time with her. Hojo had even gone so far as to tell her not to be jealous of other girls, even when there were rumors flying all around about Kagome's `bad boy boyfriend'. Hojo was unshakable in his belief in her. He wasn't arrogant, nor was he conceited, there was this indefinable quality about him that made him special and she knew when this was over that he would be in her future. Kagome wondered at the feelings that she harbored for Inuyasha and Hojo, they were different but they were just as strong. She couldn't choose, and that is why she was able to accept Inuyasha's inability to choose.

 

Feeling even more confused and guilty she got dressed and went to find somewhere peaceful where she could be alone with these thoughts.

 

Shippo and Rin had run down to the hot springs excited about their new discovery, but stopped quickly at the edge of the water as they overheard Kagome crying. The listened as Kagome told Sango about Inuyasha and Kikyo. The wind deflated from their sails, their Kagome was sad and Inuyasha had made her cry. How dare he? Silently they turned from the scene, in silent agreement they went to find the hanyou and let him know how upset they were.

 

Finding Inuyasha was no difficult task as he had come back to have some Ramen from Kagome's sack. He and Miroku sat in silence eating and staring into the flames; one carefully avoiding conversation, the other silently regarding his sullen companion.

 

“Inuyasha you're a jerk!” Shippo's angry voice cried interrupting their silence. Both turned their attention to the young fox, one to groaning in frustration, and providing insight for the other.

 

“You made Kagome cry. I will tell my Sesshomaru what you did. He will not like that.” Rin's little voice cried also as she stood in front of Inuyasha in what she must have thought an imposing stance.

 

Miroku smiled to himself. Having Sesshomaru around was definitely going to be interesting. The taiyoukai's interest in Kagome's welfare would prove a dynamic addition to this little group they had. Miroku doubted very much he would appreciate Kagome's heart being toyed with as it might adversely affect her ability to concentrate and use her powers. Miroku was well aware that Kagome's capacity for love was what would be her strength and they couldn't afford to jeopardize her heart in any way.

 

“Tell my brother. I don't care what he thinks.” Inuyasha spat back at the little girl. He didn't want to think about Sesshomaru right now, “it's none of his business anyway.”

 

“It is. Sesshomaru is responsible for everyone, especially the ones he loves best like Jaken and me. He loves Kagome too. I know.” The little girl said proudly, her voice full of conviction and righteous indignation that this stupid man didn't know anything.

 

“You're going to be in big trouble. If I were Kagome I would give you a big sit. I wouldn't let you make me cry.” Shippo said folding his arms as he sat in the safety of the monks lap.

 

“I suppose you think I deserve this abuse.” Inuyasha said to the monk who had sat there silently through this whole exchange with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

 

“Yes I do.” Was the monk's simple reply; Inuyasha sat there stunned. He had not expected such a simple straightforward answer, and when he sat there looking at the monk in confusion Miroku took pity on him and said, “It's your choice to make after all. If you prefer Kikyo, then it would be cruel to string Kagome along. You must tell her. You must be a man about it.”

 

“How could you love Kikyo more than Kagome?” Shippo cried indignantly.

 

“How could you choose anyone over Kagome?” Rin added, “She is the most beautiful, the prettiest, the nicest…”

 

“The best cook, the best healer...”

 

“Hush, you two” Miroku said gently, “We can't all be as smart as you two.” He added causing the two little ones to smile happily and Inuyasha to glare at him and a low angry growl escaped his throat. “Oh, calm down.” Miroku added impatiently, he had no intention of this escalating into a physical battle. “You know I'm right, it's only fair that you speak to Kagome about this.”

 

“If I tell her she'll hate me.”

 

“From what it sounds like she already knows part of it anyways. Don't you think it would be fair to her … to both of you … to clear the air about this, to explain everything, to understand each other's feelings?”

 

“Like you know anything about feelings other than touching someone with your lecherous hands,” was Inuyasha's sullen reply to the monk's unsolicited advice.

 

Miroku took that opportunity to put his staff to good use, and smack Inuyasha soundly over the head with it, sending the two little ones into a fit of stifled giggles as he continued; “maybe now you'll understand. If I have to beat it into your brain I will. It's not healthy for Kagome for you to keep putting this off. Talk to her about your decision so her heart can be at peace. If her heart is in turmoil she might not be able to access her full miko powers. She may be the one to pay the ultimate price for loving you. Would you like the death of yet another maiden to be on your conscience?” Miroku knew that this was playing dirty, but the thick-headed sap wasn't listening to any other reason, and so Miroku decided to play his trump card.

 

The two young ones watched in silent fascination as the half demon began to turn a rather unbecoming shade of angry red before exploding, “How dare you! Do not bring Kikyo into this!”

 

Miroku was undaunted and continued to press his point, “You do it all the time. Like it or not Inuyasha you have created this triangle, and only you can fix this.”

 

“I'm tired of everyone wanting me to fix everything. Inuyasha help those people, save that dog, don't kill that demon, kill that one. Inuyasha choose who you want Kagome or Kikyo. I still don't see why I have to choose.” Inuyasha said petulantly, at that moment Miroku realized he was dealing with nothing more than a disobedient child in a man's, well grown hanyou's body.

 

“I understood that you did. That you chose Kikyo.”

 

“I did. But I don't want Kagome to leave either, I need her.” He cried in frustration.

 

“For what, what do you need her for?” Miroku pushed. But before Inuyasha could reply the rustling of trees signaled the approach of Sango; who emerged from the woods glaring at Inuyasha. She had heard enough to become angry with the demon again and was thinking seriously at how best to end his pathetic existence.

 

“I don't need this. I'm going for a walk.” Inuyasha huffed as he stormed off into the woods. Sango watched him go with satisfaction before she turned her angry gaze at Miroku.

 

Inuyasha wandered into the woods. He needed to think away from all of them. They didn't understand. No one could possibly comprehend what he was feeling. Mostly because he had yet to untangle all these emotions that engulfed him. Quiet and solitude that is what he needed. He didn't need a sanctimonious hypocrite of a lecherous monk telling him how he should be treating women, as if Miroku had even the slightest idea of how to interact rationally with one of them to begin with. Nor did he need an angry taijiya trying to kill him.

 

The woods were quiet. And here he would face the truth. Kagome simply confused him at every turn. One moment she says she understands that both she and Kikyo want to be with him. She says that she isn't going to make him choose. Then the next minute she's crying and sullen over the same thing. It wasn't him that was mixed up, it was Kagome who was. He knew what he wanted, he wanted both of them. There was no choice to be made.

 

But you made a choice. The small voice that was his conscience said into the silence. He knew he had. He had chosen Kikyo. Just the other night he had promised to accompany her to hell. Could he tell Kagome? Could he bear to see her tears? Tears she would shed for him. Had he not caused her enough heartache?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note: Just wanted to say thanks to those of you that reviewed the story, I `m glad you're enjoying it so far. It's a little slow, I know. You should see the notebook it took to outline the thing. There are a couple of twists and turns along the way, but in the end I hope it will all make sense.