InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Rin's Smile and Sesshomaru's Decision ❯ The Void ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter Three: The Void

Jaken didn't understand Sesshomaru's decision, nor could he even begin to fathom why Sesshomaru did it, but like with all his other decisions, Jaken accepted it as a fact of life.

It was lonelier without Rin—and a hell of a lot quieter to be sure—and Jaken was surprised to find himself miss that silly human girl whom he had long considered a nuisance.

How Sesshomaru dealt with Rin's absence, he never knew for sure. Sesshomaru never talked about her, and Jaken didn't dare bring the topic up.

But something almost inconceivable about Sesshomaru's proud appearance changed. Jaken couldn't put his finger on it, but something was different about him. It wasn't that Sesshomaru was quieter—he had always been a quiet man. It wasn't that Sesshomaru was more solemn—he had never been one to show much emotion. And yet, Jaken sensed that the loss of Rin had left a hole in Sesshomaru that could not be filled.

The first few months without Rin were painfully awkward. Little things that Jaken had taken for granted changed. The first time after Rin left that Jaken saw a field perfect for raiding, he almost spoke up. He stifled himself at the last moment when he realized that there was no need.

“No,” he thought, “We'll never have to raid a field again.”

Sesshomaru was such a powerful demon that he wasn't often hurt in battle, but eventually there came a time when he needed a wound dressed, and Rin wasn't there to take care of him.

“Too tight, Jaken,” Sesshomaru grunted, annoyed, when Jaken tried to do it.

“I'm sorry, Lord Sesshomaru,” Jaken said apologetically, “It's been such a long time since I've done this. If only Rin were here.”

Jaken regretted it as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth. He froze, horrified, waiting for Sesshomaru to react.

But Sesshomaru didn't even blink. It was as though he were trying to pretend that Rin had never existed.

The next day, as Sesshomaru and Jaken were traveling, they passed through a field of wildflowers. As Sesshomaru walked, a striking white flower just like the one he had picked for Rin once loomed up in front of him. He stood before it, contemplating it for a few moments while Jaken looked on. Then Sesshomaru proceeded to crush the flower beneath his foot, and walk away.

That night, Sesshomaru was haunted by terrible nightmares. He had thought that once Rin was gone they would cease, but they had only become more frequent and more gruesome. He no longer saw his father's burning corpse: it was always his own body that was aflame. Worse, it didn't just burn; it was severely mangled, too. There was a horrible wound in his chest as though someone had torn his heart out and eaten it.
Sesshomaru tossed and turned in his sleep as he dreamed. It was the same dream as usual—except, wait—something was different this time!

As Sesshomaru lay helpless in the pyre, he saw a figure in the distance. It was a woman—Sesshomaru couldn't make out her face—and he could hear her crying. As her sobs grew louder and louder, her tears grew larger and larger until they were the size of boulders. Soon they formed a river that washed over Sesshomaru. He was bathed in brilliant cool blueness. The flames went out, but he still couldn't move.

The waters receded and the woman began to walk toward him. Her face was covered in shadow, and she carried something small in her hands.

As she got closer, Sesshomaru could make out what she held—his heart! He knew that if only he could get back his heart, he would be able to move again.

“Please!” he begged silently. He couldn't speak. He was mute.

The woman continued to walk toward him. When she reached his side, she knelt down next to him and presented his heart.

With every fiber of his being Sesshomaru wanted to take it from her, but he had no control over his body. He watched in horror as his arm reached out of its own accord . . . and knocked his heart out of the woman's hands to the ground!

The woman sighed dejectedly and turned to go. Her face was still mysteriously blacked out.

Sesshomaru fought desperately for control over his voice.

“Wait!” he managed to cry out. “What happened to your face?”

The woman turned slowly back toward him. A light came over her face.

It was Rin, and she was smiling.

Sesshomaru woke up.