InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Secrets Beneath the Surface ❯ We All Make Mistakes ( Chapter 3 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: Inuyasha still isn't mine…but I do own…hmmm, what do I own? Well, while I fish through my pockets why don't we continue on with the story…

Secrets Beneath the Surface

We All Make Mistakes

Kagome pulled herself from the rumpled cotton sheets that adorned her bed, the rings below her eyes prominently showing how much sleep she had received as of late. Not in any hurry, she focused on the day ahead. Mentally, she ran through all that had to get done today. Let's see, work at nine. Grocery shopping afterwards, and I should visit mom…it's been far too long. She thought, guilt gnawing on her insides. She hadn't visited her mother in ages. Well, actually a week, but that seemed like ages when it was your own mother.

Stooping down, she grasped her phone, which she had seemingly dropped on the floor last night. Her body stiffened, and she sat, stunned, on the edge of the bed. She had called Sesshoumaru and told him of her plans to end it all. Everything in her body had told her what they were doing behind everyone's back was wrong, and her realization that she was indeed pregnant was enough for her to end it all. If Sesshoumaru found out, it would ruin his life. It would ruin Rin's life, and after all she had gone through for the child, could she really do that? She knew the answer plain and simple, no. No, she couldn't.

Slowly, she got to her feet, instantly grasping her stomach as well as placing a hand over her mouth as nausea overcame her. Rushing to the bathroom, she released all of the contents formerly in her stomach into the swirling vortex below. The bouts of morning sickness were getting tiring, draining the last of Kagome's energy, and there was nothing she could do about it. It seemed that she was affected by the effects of pregnancy nonstop. It was as if anything she ate would come back up. She couldn't glimpse at food without her stomach starting to revolt. Sure she was done for the moment, Kagome got to her feet and began preparing a shower, hoping it would ease away the aches her body was laden with. Stepping behind the curtain, she released a content sigh. The steaming water felt so good as it rippled across the span of her body, only to land in a pool at the base of her feet where it slowly meandered down the drain in a voracious swirl. The small tear-sized pellets of water pelting her felt like a massage, and she closed her eyes as sleep tugged at her senses. It was as if she was always tired, but unable to sleep anymore. In fact, the last time she had slept properly was the last night she had shared with…

Her eyes snapped open as she envisioned her last encounter with Sesshoumaru. It felt…normal to be at his side, yet how could something that felt so right be so horribly wrong and immoral?

Realizing how long she had been standing there, Kagome turned the water off and reached a tentative hand out in search of her towel. Wrapping the fluffy peach cloth around her waist she stepped out of the shower, shivering as the cold air hit her exposed skin, still tinged red from the warmth of her shower.

Glancing at her clock, she hastened her pace. She had to be at work in less than half an hour, and if she was late her boss would have a fit. Quickly, she donned her black slacks and a white peasant blouse before rushing into a pair of black stilettos. She only took a moment to grab her car keys off the chest near the door and snatch her purse off the chair before taking the elevator to the parking garage and squealing out into the busy street, intent on making it to work on time.

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Sesshoumaru's morning wasn't much less hectic, though morning sickness was not something he had to worry about, he had a certain six year old that was less than willing to get out of bed, and a wife with much of the same problem. Finally, able to get the child into a decent outfit, said child was now sitting at the table munching on a pop tart while a disgruntled youkai focused on his second cup of coffee.

“Okay Rin, hurry up. We have to leave for school soon; we wouldn't want you to be late again.” Sesshoumaru's voice reached Rin's ears, and she suddenly perked up. “Guess what daddy!?” she squealed in obvious delight. Sesshoumaru turned from his paper and took a sip from his cup before indulging in his daughter's question, his full attention on her. “Hmmm?”

My teacher said we would be making green eggs and ham today! Isn't that exciting?” Sesshoumaru gave a slight inclination of his head before turning back to an article on pollution. Rin turned back to her pop tart, a small pile of crusts heaped in the corner of her napkin. Popping the last remaining bite into her tiny mouth, she crumpled the napkin into a ball and tossed it in the trashcan. “Okay Daddy, I'm done.”

Sesshoumaru placed the paper on the table and got to his feet with a sigh. Last night had proven to be a hard night. After Kagome's confession, he had been unable to fall asleep for hours, and even when he found sleep, it had been somewhat of a half sleep that left him still tired in the morning. His thoughts wondered to Kagome as he remembered what they had discussed last night. He felt worry root itself in the pit of his stomach, something he couldn't honestly say he was used to. His mind was made up as he grabbed the keys from the table, and handed Rin her backpack, leading them to the car waiting outside. After dropping Rin off, he would go and talk to Kagome.

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Kagome made it to work with more than a little time to spare. Walking to her office, a cup of steaming tea in her hand, the only thing able to calm her stomach, she unlocked the door. Placing all of the day's necessary materials on and around her crowded desk, she made her way to the windows, opening the blinds so the sun could shine through.

Sighing tiredly, she began unloading her bags, placing the papers on her desk in a stack on the only bare portion of the surface. Today's gonna be a long day. She thought ominously as she stared the clock, ready for the day to begin.

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Sesshoumaru dropped Rin off in the bustling auditorium, filled with kids of all ages and grades ready for the day to begin. He stayed long enough to watch his daughter skip over to her usual group of friends and plop down in the midst of them, already talking faster than he could understand.

Silently, left hand tucked into the pants pocket of his crisp, blue business suit, he slowly made his way around the school, reading the name tags silently to himself as he went. Mr. Sajoya, Ms. Rubyio, Ms. Takaya. He stopped at the next door; whispering to himself it's occupying teacher as he reached for the door handle. “Ms. Higurashi.”

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Kagome tediously watched the clock tick away. So… she had fifteen minutes before the children came in and all hell broke loose. Her head swimming, she took a deep breath, pausing momentarily before letting it back out again. The nausea sitting in the pit of her stomach eased slightly and she laid her head on the desk as she closed her eyes. Only for a minute… she promised herself before falling into an uneasy sleep.

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Sesshoumaru stood dumbfounded at the door, worry clenching his stomach in knots as he stared the picture before him. Kagome, her full head of raven black hair fanned around her in a messy array, had her head presses against the compressed wooden surface of the desk, and she was asleep. As long as Sesshoumaru had known her, and as long as she had been teaching, he had never known Kagome to do anything but greet all who entered her room. In fact, when they had still been together, considered a couple, she had always been nothing but perky in the morning. As far as Sesshoumaru knew, she had never slept in a day in her life, yet here she was.

Sesshoumaru released the brass handle of the door and took tentative step over to the sleeping woman. Her face seemed troubled, and discomfort marred her beautiful face with wrinkles.

“I'm tired, Sesshoumaru. This secret is too big, and could hurt too many. We need to talk. Tell me, aren't you tired of whispering?” The words of the night before fettered in the back of the man's mind, and he took a step backwards. Realization hit him, no matter how much he wished to talk to Kagome right then and there, he was uncertain of how she would react to his presence after last night. Tightly grasping the door handle, Sesshoumaru did something he never thought he would have to do. He retreated.

So, as the bell signaling the beginning of the day rang throughout the halls, and children raced to their assigned classrooms, Kagome, jolted mercilessly from her slumber, greeted her students, dismissing altogether the familiar scent of cologne that lingered faintly in the air.

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Kagome took a deep, cleansing breath as she eased her tired body into her office chair, fighting the part of her that just wished to lay her head on the desk and sleep. She looked over the children, watching as they kept themselves busy with crayons, toys, games, and other various attention-grabbing activities.

I wonder what my child will be like. She thought with a slight smile, her hand brushing over her flat stomach. So deep in thought, Kagome never noticed the child that made its way up to her. Tugging persistently on Kagome's pants, Rin spoke up. “Ms. H., Rin has a question.” Kagome focused on the small child before her, giving her the whole of her attention. “Yes, Rin, what is it? Is something wrong?” Kagome asked as she rested her hand on the child's shoulder, concern clouding her usually clear, blue eyes.

Rin tucked her hands behind her back and shook her head. “Then what is it?” Kagome asked, sitting back in her seat to get a better view of the girl. “Ummm, Rin was just wondering why Ms. H. smells kinda like my daddy.”

Suddenly, it felt like Kagome could not breathe. Of course Rin would pick up on her distinct change in scent now that she carried Sesshoumaru's child! Why hadn't she thought of it? Kagome fought to even out her breathing and ease the tremors in her hands.

“Oh, that's right! I talked to your father today before class. You must smell his residual scent!” Kagome said, congratulating herself on the quick save.

Rin didn't ask anymore questions, instead opting to play with a bright red fire truck another student had abandoned, but something in her mind told her that her teacher's answer wasn't enough, and as soon as her mind thought of it again, she planned on asking her daddy.

Kagome's mind was still reeling a mile a minute, and she knew at that point she would be unable to focus on the kids before her. She was physically and mentally ill. Gathering her things, she knew there was little she could do. If Rin could sense the child within her, Sesshoumaru would be able to sense it at even a further distance. She couldn't shackle him down like this. He had a life already without her…he had a family.

Without a word, she turned to the office, pausing only momentarily to turn in her resignation slip. Forgoing any sort of explanation, she stepped back into her classroom and took one last, long look around, knowing she would never get the chance to see it again.

She clambered into her car, wiping away the trail of tears that was now streaming down her face. She had so much to do in so little amount of time, but number one on her list was visiting her mother.

Silence filled the car except for the occasional sniff from its sole occupant. Eyesight blurred from crying, and hands trembling with the knowledge of what must be done, Kagome parked her car, taking her sweet time as she extracted her bone-weary body from the driver's seat.

She slowly walked through the well-worn path, stopping before a well-kempt stone. Kneeling before the rectangular slab, Kagome brushed away a few stray leaves that had accumulated atop the tombstone. She had not cried for her mother's death in so long, but as she mouthed the words carved so carefully in the polished marble she felt more tears bubble to the surface.

Hitomi Ryu Higurashi

Loving Daughter, Mother, Sister,

& Friend

1967-2004

May you always walk where the sun is brightest.

Find peace where the path is longest.

And love where the heart is strongest…

Tenderly, Kagome ran her fingers across the cold, smooth stone. Unable to put a cap on the tears she knew were coming, she began to openly sob, finding herself lost in her sorrow. “Mama…I messed up. I need you Mama. I need you…”

Author's Note: Yay! Another chapter up and ready!It's a very long chapter, so be happy cuz I was going to cut it short, but I didn't. Please tell me what you thought of this chapter! I worked really hard on it, and I'm not sure of what I think about it. I have some really stunning news coming up in the next chapter, possibly the chapter after that if I play it out differently. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do with this story for the most part, so updates should be pretty often. I do have some summer courses and work, but both should be over by like 4:00p.m. (central)and I get Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays off! Yay! Please leave a review, they really are what motivate me to keep going, so the more the merrier!