InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeing Through My Eyes ❯ Realization ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter Five:

 

 

 

I'm still pondering over what my brother meant as I pick at my bowl of stew Kaede has given me. Sango and Miroku keep shooting me questioning looks but I don't acknowledge them. At the moment, I'm in no mood to discuss my life.

 

 

 

I'm waiting for Kagome to come back, that is, if she comes back. I hope she does, and soon. I don't like sitting here, not knowing where she's at or what she's doing, or worse, how she feels. I'm and idiot, and I know it. I also know I wouldn't be going through this if I had just kept my jealousy in check. But no...I always have to get revenge.

 

 

 

But I guess sitting here isn't going to help things either. Maybe I should go back through the well and see how she's doing. I want to apologize to her...That's not something that happens every day. I'm just afraid that she'll turn away from me, that she won't listen. I don't want her to run from me like she did the other day. Right now, I just want someone to understand. Why can't they understand? They don't know what it's like to be "killed" by someone who loved and trusted you, even if hadn't really been Kikyo at the time. They don't know what it's like for me at all.

 

 

 

I remember the day Kikyo was brought back, I was shocked to see her. All the feelings I had for her had been released at that moment. and then, she turned on me. She turned on me and I was mere putty in her hands. I had no desire to stop her. No, this was Kikyo. My Kikyo. I would have done anything for her. I remember at one point, I was even going to turn human for her. Human! The one thing I detest the most! And I was willing to do it all, for love. But is it really like that now?

 

 

 

It's really hard for me to say what I feel now. I mean, I'm still carrying around those feelings for her, but I can't say that I'd turn human for her. It's different now. Mostly because someone else has come in to the picture. Yet another issue in my life. I've loved Kikyo for a long time now, but suddenly, all at once, I have feelings for Kagome too. It doesn't make any sense, really. How can I love two people at the same time? But...Sesshomaru. There is a difference between loving someone...and being in love. It's still a bit puzzling. But, I think I'm starting to make sense of it. My feelings for one are stronger than my feelings for the other. The only problem is figuring out which one of the two it is.

 

 

 

My mind drifts back to the day before, to when Kikyo saw me.

 

 

 

"How can you be so attached to her? She will never be as I was."

 

 

 

Kikyo is really no help in this matter. For when she speaks, thinks, or acts, it's always about her. Herself. It's always about Kikyo. Wait...that's it!

 

 

 

I jump up from my spot on the floor and everyone's head turns in my direction.

 

 

 

"Inuyasha?" Miroku asks.

 

 

 

I ignore him and run out of the hut, out of the village. As fast as my legs can carry me, I'm off to the well.