InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeing Through My Eyes ❯ Brief Confrontations ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter Four:

 

 

I open my eyes slowly. Surprise washes over me as I look around and find that I'm not dead. I pick myself up off of the ground and dust myself off. I'm grateful to find that Tetsusaiga is still in it's sheath and that I am unharmed. Though I'm never going to say it aloud, I do thank my brother for having enough decency no to kill me when I was in a state of...weakness? I am ashamed to even think that. I push everything else out of my mind and try to focus on the more important matter: Kagome.

 

 

For once, my head is hanging low as I halfheartedly search the air for Sango and the others' scents. It's nearby, probably at Kaede's village. I can smell rain as I trudge to the old hag's village. Looking up, I see the large, ominous gray clouds hovering above. Maybe the rain will wash away my feelings at the moment. Maybe the water will just come crashing down and pull me out of the hole I've gotten myself stuck in. I sigh and suddenly wish that Sesshomaru had killed me. But, I remind myself, running away only makes a problem worse. But, on the other hand, if I was gone, there would be no problem.

 

 

I sigh in frustration as I enter the village. At least I can rest knowing that I can't possibly hurt Kagome any more, since she's back in her time, I think to myself. But no, the world is against me. I am approached by a very annoyed looking Sango, followed by a weary looking Miroku. Suddenly, a wave of surprise crashes down on me as Sango grabs the front of my haori and glares into my eyes.

 

 

"What did you have to go off and do that for!" she yells in my face.

 

 

"Get off my back," I reply and push her away from me.

 

 

"Really Inuyasha, was it necessary to hurt her so?" Miroku puts in.

 

 

"I said, get off my back," I growl and turn around, heading out of the village.

 

 

I really want to cut them to bits right now, but I decide to vent my anger out on the trees. For one thing, it's safer and requires a lot less effort. I use my claws over and over until I have cleared out most of "my" forest. The sun is sinking slowly, as am I to the ground. I lean against the remainder of a tree trunk and close my eyes. I can feel the wind blow around me and I can smell the smell of death.

 

I open my eyes slowly, only to see Miss Death herself. She's the whole reason I'm in this mess, and yet, I can't stay mad at her. But, if she hadn't kissed me, I wouldn't feel so bad right now. I wouldn't be waiting for Kagome to return.

 

 

She stoops to my level suddenly, and places her hand on my cheek. I turn my head, away from her, and stare at the ground.

 

 

"Inuyasha," she says in that monotone voice of hers. "Why did you do this?" she asks, motioning to all the trees.

 

 

Because I felt like it, I think to myself. I don't respond and she frowns. Right now I don't want her, I want Kagome.

 

 

"How can you be so attached to her? She will never be as I was."

 

 

"I know," I say finally. "She is Kagome."

 

 

Kikyo's face changes in disgust. I smile inwardly, knowing that's what Kagome would have wanted me to say. I never did understand why Kikyo spoke badly of her. Kagome never said anything badly of Kikyo...at least, not to me. But, Kagome is too honest of a person to even speak of her behind my back.

 

 

Kikyo looks at me one last moment, shaking her head, and then, she leaves. I close my eyes again and feel even more like a screw up than I ever have. My ear twitches as I can here a sound, the sound of moving grass. I open my eyes and look up, to be staring in the face of my brother. My hand clutches Tetsusaiga, but even my brother can see I am in no condition to fight. He looks down at me, a look of pity. I really hate that look but if he chooses to look at me rather than attack, I'm all for it.

 

 

He stands there for a moment and I begin to wonder if he is planning to attack me. But, to my surprise, he doesn't move.

 

 

"What do you want?" I ask finally.

 

 

"This Sesshomaru would like to tell you that there is a difference between loving someone...and being in love," he says and I stare up at him with a puzzled expression.

 

 

"What?" I ask, but he turns his back and begins walking away. "Wait a minute, what does that mean?" I ask him, scrambling up off of the ground.

 

 

He doesn't answer me, only continues walking. I try to go after him, but in an instant, he is gone. I don't understand. What in the world is that supposed to mean?

 

 

There is a difference between loving someone...and being in love. I still don't get it. Is he trying to apply that to my situation? What does "This Sesshomaru" know about love? Maybe Sesshomaru was referring to himself as loving Rin and myself as being in love with...Kikyo?

 

 

"Argh, I don't know," I mutter aloud.

 

 

It's too much for me to think about tonight. I sigh and crawl on all fours to the Sacred Tree, where I climb to my usual perch, and fall asleep.