InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeking the Hime's Heart ❯ Movement of Life and Time ( Chapter 2 )

Seeking the Hime's Heart

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Disclaimer: The Inuyasha characters were created by Rumiko Takashi, I don't have any claim to them.

Author's note: After nearly two weeks I got a review for this story and so I want to say thank you to Riomi. I don't even know how you found the story because I have it hidden on MediaMiner, but I'm glad that you did. I had just decided to completely give up on this story because I hadn't received any response even though I really like this particular idea. But I felt a lot better when I got your review and decided that even if you're the only one to ever review this story that I would write it anyways, just because I like this idea and you seemed to like it as well. So this chapter is dedicated to you, Riomi! Hope you enjoy it.

Last time: "Aishiteru," he groaned out as his seed began to spurt into her womb, his eyes were closed and he nearly collapsed onto her. He never realized that she had not returned the words.

Chapter 2: Movement of Life and Time

~*~

There was nothing but the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves and the faint cry of a bird somewhere in the distance. With her eyes closed, Kagome tilted her head to the sky so that the suns rays might warm her. She was feeling empty; Hojou had left two days ago with several other samurai to escort the daimyo to a neighboring territory. They were not expected back for another two days.

At a loss as of what to do, Kagome sighed and wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees in a child-like manner. A small pout played upon her lips as she looked back on the last eight months of her life. It had all happened so quickly, one day she was a poor merchant's daughter and the next she was the betrothed of an honorable samurai. Even more surprising had been his confession of love. She had thought that perhaps she could be happy here, and for the most part she was. Hojou was always kind to her, he never spoke a harsh word and when he was home she barely had to lift a finger. But when he was gone it was different. She had no friends and none of the other women would talk to her. The noble women looked down on her and the servants looked upon her with envy, but not friendship.

It was difficult, she had found, to live in a place that you did not belong to. To be caught in between two groups, never quite fitting in with either. But it wasn't something she could not live with. Solitude had been her friend for a very long time, since the day she left her okaasan in that decimated village. After that she had never befriended anyone, in fact, Hojou was the only person besides her father who knew anything about her past. Even at that, she had hesitated in telling him; it was not something she liked to share. But then he had looked at her with such a pleading look upon his face. His eyes had begged her to speak, to break her self-made vow of silence. And she had. It was her duty as his wife to be honest with him, to at least try and make him happy. Besides, he asked for so little of her, just that she listen to him sometimes and speak and smile for him. It was frightening and in some ways she was still wary of his affection.

To her love did not exist and so it did not explain his kindness towards her. But she had nothing to lose, so she went along with it, never questioning or complaining.

The sun was beginning to set and so Kagome stood, stretching her arms in the air. It would be dinnertime soon and she wanted to go to bed early, to avoid the stares and gossip.

~*~

Everything was quiet and still just as Kagome was, she did not want to shatter the placid feeling drifting through the morning air. It was rare for her to leave her room before noon when Hojou was away, no one would miss her presence. They probably wouldn't care if she stayed in the room for days without leaving. Sighing, she began to fiddle with the collar of her yukata. Her stomach stirred and she put a hand against her abdomen to calm it.

Suddenly the quiet was broken, there were voices coming from the courtyard. More butterflies formed in her stomach, fluttering and moving to her chest. She sniffled; not even realizing a few tears had escaped her eyes. His voice could be heard clearly through all the noises and she stood. Not even caring that she wasn't properly dressed, she ran from her room and left the shouji screen open. She felt happy, excited like a child going to his or her first festival. It was impossible to understand why she should feel so emotional, but for the moment it didn't bother her and she hurried out.

When she reached the courtyard he was standing there, grinning at her. More tears fell, streaming down her cheeks and she sniffled. For a moment she just stood at the door watching him. He was the same as he had always been in her eyes, a boyish grin on his face, gentle brown eyes and his arms were outstretched. She hurried into his embrace and he lifted her till her toes were off the ground and he twirled her around. The motion made her feel a bit nauseous and she fought to control her spinning head. After a second it vanished. Burying her face in his shoulder, she heard him whisper.

"Aishiteru, koishii."

She said nothing, there was no way she could ever lie to him. Not about something like that. He didn't seem to mind or even notice, he never did. Those words left his lips two or three times a day when he was with her and yet she had never returned them. Her chest tightened with guilt and her eyes fixed upon her bare feet. Not noticing her discomfort he took her hand and in it he placed a box that was a little bigger then her palm.

"A gift for you," he said, smiling.

It was always like this when he left, he came back with a gift; some small trinket or a few yards of some pretty fabric. It was something she was still unused to since no one had bought her gifts before. Her fingers played over the boxes simple cover and she could feel his eyes watching her, waiting for her to open it.

Her cheeks were red when her eyes met his and he nodded, silently telling her to open it now. After gently lifting the cover and unwrapping it from a small silk cloth a small gasp escaped her throat.

"It's. . .beautiful."

It was a comb, made of some type of green stone that was dark as an emerald. It reminded her of the lush trees in a forest. At the center there was a sakura blossom, all of it carved from the same stone.

"It's called jade. . .," Hojou offered, putting a nervous hand behind his head. "The merchant at the village said it is a precious stone in China."

Her arms wrapped around his waist and her cheek was resting against his chest as she gave him a hug.

"Arigato, it's wonderful."

His hands began to smooth back her long ebony hair and he placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. It had just occurred to him that she was dressed in nothing but her thin yukata and that they were still in the courtyard. A few people were looking at them curiously but he ignored them. Nothing mattered but the beautiful girl wrapped around him. He could feel her unbound breasts pressing against his chest and desire filled him. Gently pushing her away, he took her hand gently; yes, always gently because she was so small, fragile, he was afraid handling her the wrong way might hurt her. He led her to their room and they didn't emerge until the evening.

~*~

"You came back early." She said, for once feeling uncomfortable in the silence.

Her head was resting against his bare chest and both their bodies were covered with a thin layer of perspiration. Although she wasn't looking at his face, she could sense his smile as he spoke.

"Hai, Takashi-sama's business with the next region's daimyo took less time then he expected."

His fingers danced along the flesh of her lower back and she shivered. It was a nice sensation, knowing someone cared for you. `But you don't love him.' Her mind scolded. Her stomach did a flip-flop as if it were also trying to reprimand her heartless ways.

"It can't be helped," she sighed to herself.

"Hmmm? What was that, koishii?" his voice was sleepy and she shook her head, making her hair brush against his skin.

"Nothing, Hojou. You should sleep now, it's been a long day."

"Hai," he said, yawning and within a minute he was asleep. She could hear his shallow, even breaths and the steady beat of his heart. Removing herself from his arms, she stood and put her yukata back on before lying back down on the futon.

~*~

So life carried on in that slow, gentle way that made time irrelevant, flowing over them like a gentle breeze. For the first time she was content, having a real home and a gentle-hearted husband who actually loved her. She asked for nothing more, willing to continue life that way until the end of her days. Spending her days cleaning their humble dwellings and other small chores, her nights were occupied by her husband. She owed him that at least, since she did not believe in love and therefore could never give him her heart. Often times they would sit together, speaking of the days insignificant events and he would smile at her so tenderly that guilt would build within her chest and almost suffocate her.

Kagome had grown a few inches taller and her figure had filled out more, but other then that she was basically the same person. Quiet, unobtrusive and sad, but she had found peace in the life of a married woman. She found that being Kagome Junsei was comfortable if not a bit lacking in excitement

Never a day went by that he did not tell her she was beautiful, never a night passed that he did not say 'aishiteru' before kissing her sweetly on the forehead and drifting off to sleep. Not a moment passed that she felt inclined to return those words.

One year of marriage brought her to where she was now.

~*~

"Anou. . . Hojou."

"Hai, koishii?" He glances at me nervously, it has been happening a lot lately. Sometimes when we are lying in our futon at night, I wake up to find him staring at me, a look of fear on his face.

"If I get any bigger none of my kimonos will fit!"

He smiles at me and I return the gesture. It still amazes me that a smile can come so easily when there is someone to take care of you, when you don't have to worry. I rarely ever smiled when I had been with my father.

Walking to my side, he rests his hand on the bulge of my belly where our child awaits its arrival into the world.

"Aa," he replies, a silly boy-ish grin on his face, "don't worry, I will buy you as many kimonos as you like. We should go and see the midwife today and then we will see to your kimonos. Are you hungry?"

I level a playful glare at him. Ever since I told him that we were to have a child he's asked me that every five minutes, if not more. So far I have endured four months of 'Are you hungry?' Not waiting for my answer, he hands me an apple.

"Mou, if you keep feeding me all the time like this I'll be fat long after our daughter is born."

"I don't care, you're beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful and nothing can change the fact that I love you."

He doesn't seem to notice when I turn my eyes away from him guiltily; he's never noticed. It's not that there is anyone else; I just gave up on the fairy tale that is love a long time ago. I forgot it in that room where I left the body of my okaasan all those years ago.

"Daughter?" he asks, interrupting my thoughts, "How can you be so sure Kagome?"

I can't help but smile at the wonder that is apparent in his voice as he talks about our child.

"I just know. Our child's spirit is too gentle to be anything but a girl." I rest a hand on my swollen stomach. He shakes his head and grins in mild disbelief.

"What will you name her then?"

The thought hadn't crossed my mind. I was so caught up in the miracle that I was to be a mother that I had forgotten to think of a name.

"I don't know yet," is my reply.

He takes my hand and we begin to walk towards the village, to see the midwife.

"That's all right, you still have a lot of time to think about it."

I'll be a mother, memories of my own okaasan flitter through my mind. Her smile, her eyes, the gentle touch of her hand, the memories of my okaasan stir within me. I want to be like her when my child is born. I want to be able to look a certain way at my daughter and have her automatically understand that I love her more then anything. When I hold her I want her to know that I will do everything in my power to protect her from harm. I want to have the power that my okaasan had, that twinkle in her eyes that happened every time she looked at me, those eyes that made me feel so special, so loved and so precious. I want to be all of that and I am determined that she will never become the person I am right now. She will not become the confused unloving woman I have grown into.

"I will name her Rin, after my okaasan."

He gives me that adoring smile and nods. All I can do is wonder why he looks at me that way sometimes. Why does he love me? I don't think I will ever know the answer, I don't think I ever really want to know.

~*~

"How old are you?" the midwife asks, placing a firm hand onto Kagome's stomach.

A blush covered the girl's cheeks as the wizened old women started to rub her belly. `I feel absolutely ridiculous,' she thinks.

"Fifteen winters old."

Silence filled the room and Kagome fidgeted a bit nervously. Hojou was waiting outside of the small hut. The bitter smell of herbs permeated throughout the room and the young woman scrunched her nose in distaste.

"Is this your first child?"

"Hai."

A frown added to the wrinkles already lining the midwife's face. She did not seem at all pleased.

"It could be difficult," she announces, "you're so small."

The weathered hands were resting on Kagome's hips. Her innocent blue eyes widened and she began to chew worriedly at her bottom lip.

"Anou. . . what does that mean? Will my baby be okay?"

The old woman frowns, but turns quickly away. ". . .Perhaps I shouldn't have worried you so much. You seem healthy enough, have you been eating?"

Kagome nodded eagerly, her dark tresses swinging back and forth behind her. Tugging nervously at the sleeves of her kimono, she awaited the midwife's words.

"Don't worry over it so much, you seem to be coming along nicely. Let me worry about it when the time comes. Until then, eat and stay healthy." Her voice didn't sound as reassuring as her words and she would not look into Kagome's eyes.

The old woman turned her back to Kagome and began mixing a pot that was filled with some herbs and other things.

"Sumimasen. . ."

"You can go now."

Quickly, Kagome exited the hut and Hojou took her hand as they began walking through the village.

"What did she say?" he asked. Out of the corner of her eyes, Kagome glanced at him. He had been so worried about her lately, insisting she not do too much work (not that she had much to do during the day), forcing food upon her all the time, staying up late to watch over her. . .

"She said everything is fine. There should be no problems."

Hojou nodded, leading her by the hand towards the booth of a cloth merchant.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~