InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeking the Hime's Heart ❯ The Wrath of Kami ( Chapter 3 )

Seeking the Hime's Heart

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Author's note: Not much to say. . . I would have updated sooner but I'm in this depressing, "life sucks and I don't want to do anything anymore,"-type mood. Bleh, it happens with me sometimes. Anyways, I did get around to updating and I'm probably just tired what with the projects and exams I'm preparing for. . . Anyways, enjoy the chapter and please review. Thanks. Oh, almost forgot, I'll also be posting on Adultfanfiction.net for those of you who'd rather read there for the future lemons that won't be posted on fanfiction.net.

Last time: "She said everything is fine. There should be no problems."

Hojou nodded, leading her by the hand towards the booth of a cloth merchant.

Chapter 3: The Wrath of Kami

~*~

Kagome sat in the courtyard, watching as the sun rose. It created a beautiful backdrop for the samurai who were sparring in the courtyard. They were training because summer was almost upon them and with it were bound to come battles between the daimyo. The era they lived in was one of great unrest where no one was satisfied with what they had, and desired more of everything. Especially land.

But none of that was on the young woman's mind. She was a merchant's daughter and had never been privy to any knowledge concerning battles and what not. Her entire knowledge of violence came down to one horrid event that had scarred her for life, the death of her mother. Even that, she tried not to think about too much. More so now that she was to be a mother. She would not let her emotions be clouded by her past sorrows, Hojou had given her a new life as the wife of a respectable samurai and she planned to use the chance he had given her.

Hojou waved to her from the other end of the courtyard, his usual grin on his face. A few of the other samurai laughed and teased him for such an affectionate gesture. Samurai are not supposed to show any emotion and yet Hojou couldn't help it. Everything was clear upon his face, his happiness, frustration, and worry all emotions were there to read. Most of all though, was the way his love for her shone in his eyes when he looked at her. It was like a beacon that drew her to him and yet, she could never truly be a part of that light. She existed beyond it, on the outside of that bright flame and for that she was sorry. Hojou had given her so much and yet she had nothing to offer him.

Sighing, Kagome put her hands to her swollen belly, feeling small movements coming from within it.

"Ah, my little Rin, be still. If the midwife is correct you should be born in just over a month."

There was a huff from behind her, and Kagome turned to see a few of the other wives going towards the garden. They were giggling and talking in small groups and Kagome looked away when her eyes met the cold stares of a few of them. While she had grown used to their ways concerning her, it still hurt sometimes. A few tears gathered in her eyes, she had discovered that being pregnant made her highly emotional. But she didn't want them to think they had gotten the best of her, so before anyone could notice she stood and headed towards her room.

It was quiet in her room; no noise came from behind the rice paper walls. All the other occupants were out and about the household. Everyone had a purpose but her. Kagome sniffled, and covered her face with her hands to catch the tears. She sat facing the wall and behind her she heard the shouji screen open and close. A gentle hand began to stroke her hair and she leaned in to bury her face in Hojou's chest.

"Anou. . . Kagome-chan are you alright? Is it the baby? Is something wrong?"

His voice was soft, but held a bit of urgency as if he were afraid. `He's worried about me and the baby,' Kagome realized. Her tears intensified, turning into sobs that made her shake within her husband's embrace. Her arms tightened around him, as if she were clinging to a buoy in a stormy sea. In turn his arms squeezed her firmly, yet with great care.

"What's the matter, koishii?"

The guilt was too much, with every endearment he called her, every time he said `aishiteru' and every kind gesture it grew and grew. She couldn't stand it anymore, not in silence. The truth must be told.

"Hojou, I- You are so kind to me and I don't deserve it. I'm no one, just some peasant's daughter and you're a samurai and you do so much for me. I know that you love me but I have to tell you the truth, I don-,"

She didn't finish her sentence, the most important thing for her to say. His lips had fallen upon hers in a chaste kiss, stealing her words. When he pulled away there was something in his eyes she had not seen before. Kagome recognized it as something that had existed in her own eyes for a very long time; sadness. He had known all along then, but he ignored it. Perhaps he was not as naïve as she thought.

"Yes, Kagome, I love you," his gentle eyes had become intense, deep brown pools and his face was serious. "You mean more to me than anything in this world. But is that enough for you, can you live with me like this? I thought you were happy all this time even if you didn't lo-,"

Putting a finger to his lips, Kagome silenced him. In truth she had no choice but to continue living in this way. There was no one she loved, no one she could go to. In the entire world the only people she really knew were Hojou and her father. Kami only knew where her father had wandered off to so then there was just Hojou; sweet, kind Hojou who loved her. Her hand rested on the bulge of her stomach, she was pregnant with his child and so in a way she was trapped even if she had wanted to leave she couldn't now.

"I am happy," Kagome said truthfully, "you gave me a home and you take care of me. For that I will always be grateful. I would never leave you Hojou, I. . . I do care about you."

The young samurai sighed in relief, his features softening as she spoke. It was enough then, that they live like this. They could create their own happiness, in fact they already had. If both of them could not have the same feelings for each other, at least their love would meet within the child that they had created together. For Kagome, that was enough and she didn't feel so bad anymore now that they had an understanding. She would always stay with Hojou, because she knew that he was one of the kindest men in the world and he loved her and she could not hurt him.

"Why were you crying?" he whispered, holding her gently against his chest. She sniffled, remembering the initial reason for her outburst.

"The other women. . . they don't like me and it's just-," she blushed, "anou. . . my pregnancy, it just makes me more emotional I guess."

He chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest and against Kagome's cheek.

"Don't worry about them, I promise, I will always take care of you. For as long as I live."

"You don't have to, you know. I can take care of myself." Kagome pouted, her big, child-like eyes gazing up at him. He smiled.

"I know, but it's okay to let people care for you. It makes me feel better, knowing that I can serve you."

"You weren't meant to be a samurai, Hojou. You're too nice."

Kagome bolted up, gasping and covering her mouth. That was possible the worst thing you could say to a samurai. It struck at the one thing that samurai cherished above all else, their honor. But Hojou, he didn't look angry although she had spoken against the very thing that in the eyes of society made him an honorable man. All he did was nod solemnly.

"You're right, Kagome. I would have made a better farmer or an inn keep. But I was born a samurai, and so that is what I have to be. It's not something I enjoy; it is a lot of responsibility and is dangerous. But I don't mind anymore, now that I have you. I'm happier then I've ever been."

It felt good to know that she could speak the truth without being reprimanded. For once she did not feel guilty. But everything she said was the truth.

"Me too," she replied.

~*~

Kagome sat alone eating her dinner, a few seats away from the group of women chatting at the other end of the table. It had been about a week since the daimyo had left with his congregation of samurai. One of the daimyo's allies had called to him for help, having been plagued by raids so early into the summer season. So Hojou had left, although Kagome begged him not to. A sense of foreboding had rested upon her heart since the moment she heard of the situation. It was still their, graying every second of her life while her husband was away.

There was a shout from the courtyard, and the whinnying of horses. Kagome stood, along with the other women in the dining room and headed towards the door. They all walked past her as she stood just at the door leading out to the courtyard. She stood within its frame, watching the events unfold beneath the evening sky. There were two samurai who dismounted from their horses, their faces stern and eyes fierce. Between them was a simple wagon drawn by a single horse. The contents could not be seen from the angle at which Kagome was standing.

The other women gathered around the cart, they gasped, and covered their mouths with soft, dainty hands. Everyone's eyes turned towards her, they were watching every breath she took. The seconds passed by slowly. One woman, with her long dark hair in a simple bun atop her head approached her. The woman wore a simple pastel yellow kimono and her eyes were sad as her hand clasped around Kagome's wrist. She tugged at the girls arm, but Kagome refused to move from her spot.

Lanterns were being lit in the courtyard, as the sky grew steadily darker. Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest as Kagome allowed herself to be led forward. The stench of blood reached her nose and she almost threw up. Tears had already begun to roll down her cheeks, heavy drops falling onto her kimono. The kimono was made of light blue cotton with butterflies adorning the sleeves, one of the many kimono's Hojou had bought for her the first day they had gone to see the midwife.

In a matter of seconds she was beside the wagon. For a full minute she was silent, tears continued to fall but she made no movements or sounds. Then it all came crashing down; Hojou was there on the cart, his eyes wide and lifeless. His skin pale and blood soaking his clothing, he was dead. A keening sob escaped her throat as Kagome turned away from the sight and was violently sick. She gagged and coughed as her stomach was emptied and her body shook.

Then there was a pain in her stomach; she clutched the swollen flesh where her baby resided. `No, something is wrong!' her mind screamed. Then warm wet, liquid gushed from between her legs, soaking her kimono and pooling around her where she was kneeling. All at once there was noise, women chatting and gasping. Kagome just sat there, curling around herself in pain, both physical and emotional.

One of the samurai picked her up, carrying her to her room. The women followed, entering into her room and talking. Beads of perspiration rolled down her face and her eyes became glazed as she struggled to understand everything that was happening. Distantly, she heard the voices of women around her.

"What should we do?" one asked nervously.

"Call the midwife."

"I say we throw her out, it's a bad omen!"

"She has angered Kami! That is why he has punished her."

"Throw her out lest she bring the wrath of Kami upon us all!"

"Don't be ridiculous! Someone go and call the midwife."

Her pain, which had been easing as the minutes passed, flared once again. Gasping, she clutched the sheets, her knuckles white with the exerted pressure. She could take it no more, her head was spinning, her heart in as much pain as her body and all that yelling!

"DAMARE!" she screamed from her position on the futon, Kagome's eyes were blazing as she looked at every woman in the room. (A/N: `Damare' is like `shut up')

"Get out, all of you, now! Leave me or I swear on my okaasan's grave the wrath of Kami will be the least of your worries!"

They all stood silent, stunned at her sudden outburst. Never before had she spoken so loudly or so much or so disrespectfully to any of them. She had always kept silently to herself; ignoring their snide comments, her screams had been surprising. It took them all a moment for the words to sink in, and then all at once they headed for the door. The look in her eyes, it had scared them. It was a look of desperation, of a cornered animal and everyone knew that nothing was more fierce and protective than an animal that has been cornered.

When they were gone and the room was silent save for her labored breathing, she let out a sob that was half a moan. Kagome didn't understand, could it be that Kami really was punishing her? Her baby was early, that was dangerous, wasn't it? She didn't know; she had never spoken to anyone about pregnancies or birthing. There were two fears within her heart, one was natural; the fear of bringing a child into this world. The other was much worse and would linger even after her child arrive. It was her fear of the future; she had no husband now, no place where she would belong. Not anymore, she would have no one now but her child.

Outside the door she heard a knock, she could see the outline of a person. Short and a round, it was the midwife who entered. Throughout that night and into the morning there could be heard loud sobbing and occasionally screaming. Just after the sun had risen, came the sound of crying. In fact, there was the sound of two beings crying. One was a greeting of life, the other was a sob mixed with grief and triumph.

~*~

Her entire body felt numb as she kneeled before the lord of her deceased husband. Kagome took deep, steadying breaths to fight away tears. She didn't even know why they still came sometimes, when she least expected or did not want them. It wasn't even for Hojou anymore because she had not loved him the grief was not an overwhelming one. It hadn't taken her long to overcome that particular sorrow, now what she shed tears for was the rough road ahead. The uncertainty that was her future and that would make caring for her daughter even more difficult.

She had been right, the child had been a girl and so it came to be that Kagome kneeled before the daimyo. At his mercy, clutching the infant to her breast and using much of her control to hold back her tears and to keep her fear from making her hold on the child too harsh.

He spoke.

"In situations such as this it is customary for a woman to be sent back to one of her male relatives if her husband dies. I know that your father is a traveling merchant and so it is unlikely we would be able to find or contact him, do you have any other male relatives?"

Silently, Kagome shook her head in a negative answer. She had been an only child, her only family before Hojou had been her father and in truth, she did not want to go back to him. He was a burden upon her soul, with the half-life that he lived.

"I see," replied the daimyo, his voice was strong and firm. "Well, in that case I think it best to send you and your husbands possessions to his last remaining male relative. I believe Hojou-san has a cousin who is also a samurai for the daimyo whose lands border mine."

The lord turned to his records keeper who nodded in affirmation.

"That is correct, Takashi-sama."

Some more words were said, but Kagome ignored them. So that was her fate now, to go to Hojou's cousin. She had never met any relatives of her late husband, and she wondered what kind of man he was. What would happen to her there? The child in her arms began to wail and she politely excused herself from the room.

Stroking the dark, feathery hair of her month-old child, Kagome hummed a soothing tune. All the pain and uncertainty forgotten in the glow of the life she had taken part in created.

"Hush now, Rin." She gently admonished, placing a kiss upon the infants brow. For a long time she sat silently in her room, watching Rin sleep. But then there was a knock on the door, a messenger. They were to leave in the morning but Kagome didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore but her child. As long as she could take Rin with her and raise her daughter then that was enough.

Life had been much more cruel then she had expected. She was fifteen years old, a mother and a widow. But she would carry on; it was all she could do. To follow the path life lay before her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

First of all, thank you everyone who reviewed! Now one with the

Reviewer responses:

Calendar: I'm glad you like the fic. Yeah. . . I'm not a Kagome/Hojou fan myself, he's too. . . dense for my liking. But he is always sweet and caring, worrying about Kagome's health in the anime so I put them together, even if it was only for a few chapters.

Miss_Marilyn69: ^_^ Sorry to keep you waiting for the update. Me, poetic? Wow, I'm flattered, never really considered myself to be much of a poet. Thanks for putting me on your favorites list.

Corruptvisions: I did take a while to think about what kind of person Kagome would start out as * blushes * I'm glad you liked how it turned out. As for Hojou, that part was easy writing him sweet and caring was pretty simple.

Riomi: ^_^ I'm glad you liked it. Really, I loved the idea for this story and was really down when I got no reviews for it. But when I saw that you had reviewed I was so happy because it meant I could write the story that I wanted to and at least someone would be reading it. So thank you for giving me that extra nudge.

Kawool: I'm taking your suggestion to heart, I will be posting on adultfanfiction.net as well. I'm already getting all these thoughts for the future chapters and I haven't even begun thinking about how to build up to those yet! It's just because I'm looking forward to writing the Rin/Sesshoumaru part. It'll be my first time writing them as a couple!

Sprout: ^_^ I'm glad all the work and thought I put into making the time and emotions fit into the story paid off. Thanks for noticing! It is rather strange, that you did not see my story. But that happens sometimes I suppose. I check ff.net almost everyday and sometimes I miss updates and stuff too so I don't know what happened with that. Anyways, I'm glad you found my story.

New Fan: Glad you like the story. The reason I like the idea for this story so much is because I really haven't read any fics with a plot like the one I have in mind. Well, thanks for reading.