InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeking the Hime's Heart ❯ Acceptance ( Chapter 5 )

Seeking the Hime's Heart

Part 1: Quest for the Beginning

(A/N: I know, after the first chapter I forgot to note that this is the first part of the story. I just remembered. . .)

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Author's note: Here's the next chapter and it does contain a lemon so you people at Fanfiction.net need to go to mediaminer.org, adultfanfiction.net or my homepage to read that. It's at the end of the chapter and I'll mark where it would start. Also, since it has been requested, if anyone would like to be notified of when this story is updated than e-mail me at EvilNekoEatsYourSoul @ hawaii.rr.com and as the subject put: Hime. My memory isn't all that great, but I'll try to remember to do that hehehe. . . Read, enjoy and review!

Last time: Kouga was thoughtful and he continued to watch her from the corner of his eyes. All the while he thought himself foolish, never in his life had he been jealous of anyone. But suddenly, he found he envied the infant Kagome held tenderly to her chest.

Chapter 5: Acceptance

~*~

Her scent, sweet and clear wafted through the small field. The youkai inched closer to the tree's bordering the clearing. Watching his unsuspecting prey, he grinned. Though her gaze was not directed at him he could see her eyes that shone with the color of the deep ocean. As always, her emotions were clearly written in those orbs. There was weariness about her it showed in the set of her shoulders and in the slight drooping in her eyes. It was not the exhaustion of hard labor. The truth was she didn't do much. Somehow, she had never made it to the kitchens, he had lied; there was no need for help in his household, he had just wanted to keep her near for reasons he barely understood.

Since her arrival, Kagome had become somewhat of an obsession for him. His thoughts seemed to constantly drift towards her. It wasn't because she was an enchanting beauty; because in truth he had seen women far more desirable. Rather it was her nature, caring and cold all at once, both joy and sadness showed in her features. She was pure and yet she wasn't. All that he knew was that she was a mystery to him and he desperately needed to solve her.

Then, there were the feelings, new longings that had arisen within him. Suddenly he craved to have offspring, to see his features set into a young face. But he wanted those children to have HER blue eyes. He wanted Kagome as the mother to those children. Never had he wanted to be a father until she came along, but the way she held her child it was calming, soothing to watch her it made him desire a bond with her in which they could have something so precious as that.

Kouga watched as the young woman who had unknowingly found her way into his heart talked to her infant. Her voice, sweet and melodious traveled to his ears and his grin softened into a gentler smile. He began to approach her, all the while thinking of his empty bed. During the weeks she had resided in his household his concubines found their nights unoccupied and their beds lonely. There was a flaming desire in him that he knew only she could douse; Kagome, the one woman who had denied him.

~*~

"It's so nice to be outside today, ne Rin-chan?"

The child made no indication of having understood her mother, but that was to be expected since she was just barely three months old. Her eyes were bright and they followed whatever movement she could see. Instinctively her eyes went to the young woman sitting beside her resting spot, she watched as her mother stretched out beside her, basking in the warm glow of the sun.

"If you're really that lonely, you could always come and talk to me, you know," a somewhat gruff voice said from above them.

Shielding her eyes with one hand, Kagome squinted to see who had disturbed her peaceful pondering. It was Kouga, of course. The daimyo had taken to following her around as of late. Feeling childish, lying around in the grass, Kagome sat up and the youkai took a seat beside her.

"I'm not lonely," she said softly, "because I have Rin."

"Hontou? She doesn't seem like much of a talker to me," Kouga said, leaning over to look at the wide-eyed baby. He made a silly face, crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Kagome laughed and Rin began clapping her hands and reaching out to grab a stray lock of obsidian hair that had fallen over his shoulder.

She seemed to pout when he sat up straight, pulling her target out of reach.

"Well, right now she is quiet, but any day now she will talk to me, right Rin?" Kagome turned her head to look down at the quiet baby, as if expecting her to answer. The young woman sighed as she was hit with a sudden deep weariness. Caring for a child was a thousand times more difficult than she had imagined. But that was not the only thing tiring her, there was also the loneliness.

Before, she had thought that being a mother would be enough for her that her love for her child would wipe out everything else. She had been wrong. There was no one to talk to, no one to care for her, no one to support or help her in raising her child. That's not to say that she didn't absolutely adore Rin, but she yearned for another type of companionship, she missed Hojou.

His face had begun to fade from her memory but sometimes she could still hear his gentle voice, feel his fleeting touch, in her dreams his presence sometimes felt real even though she never directly saw him. When they were married she had often taken his presence for granted, she had always believed him when he said he would take care of her forever and now she was alone. She was alone and raising a child.

Kouga interrupted her thoughts with his usual banter.

"So Kagome, why don't you become one of my wo-,"

She cut him off before he could finish, "No, Kouga. Taking such a position would not only dishonor myself but also my daughter and the memory of my husband. If you have any other place for me in your household than let me know."

He fell silent and as if sensing the tension, Rin began to whine. Her hands batted at the air and wrinkles lined her face as she frowned and began to cry. Kagome picked her up and began to rock her gently in her arms, speaking in soothing tones.

"What's wrong Rin-chan? Will you tell your okaasan?"

The child quieted when her mother placed a soft kiss upon her brow. The tiny hands were patting Kagome's cheek as if Rin was now trying to sooth her. She smiled at the though.

"When will you say your first words, Rin? Maybe tomorrow? Will you say `okaasan' for me?" Smiling warmly, Kagome placed a kiss on the child's forehead. The smooth baby skin was warm against her lips and she hoped that things would remain like that for a long time. But as it often does, time moved quickly and soon evening was approaching and they headed back towards home.

~*~

The days passed by slow and uneventful. Kagome noticed that Kouga's appearances became more frequent and he seemed oddly on edge when in her company. She ignored it.

Rin was nearing the four-month marker and she still made no sounds other then her crying. Not having any previous experiences with children before, Kagome didn't know whether or not that was normal and so she didn't worry about it. But save for her silence Rin seemed perfect to her mother. The girl had bright emotional eyes like Kagome's, although their coloring was brown after her father. Her face and body were plump with generous amounts of baby fat and Kagome experienced no problems with her health.

Still, there was that lingering loneliness. It seemed like she could never make friends, something always set her apart from everyone else. With Hojou it had been because she was a commoner among those of more noble blood. In Kouga's household there was animosity between her and the servants because she was allowed to stay there without having to work. It wasn't that she did not want to work, she was more than willing to help with chores in return for the cozy little room she shared with Rin and the food that was provided, but Kouga always told her there was nothing she could really do. Discontent seemed to follow her wherever she went.

At night, when the other people within the servants' quarters gathered together to speak with one another of friendly, trivial things, she was left out. But she made no complaints, bore no ill will towards them, she could understand their resentment of her. It was still saddening, but as before she did not let it bother her much.

"Have I ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?"

Kagome didn't need to see the person to recognize the voice. It was one that she had become familiar with.

"Hai, Kouga. That's the second time today."

He came to stand beside her. She was holding Rin, and swaying gently from side to side as the infant slept. They spoke softly, as if the sky with its full moon and multitude of stars would shatter if their voices became too loud.

"What are you doing out here by yourself?" he asked.

"Showing Rin the stars."

"She's sleeping."

Kagome had no answer to that, so she just nodded her head. Of course she didn't come out here to show Rin the stars, the child had fallen asleep a few hours ago. She had seen the sky from within her room and the moon had reminded her of her childhood. The moon had been full on the night her mother had died. It had shone upon her face, white with fear, as she fled from her village with her father. That terrible night would forever be etched in her memory.

For some reason she felt especially nostalgic and lonely. She recalled the night that Rin had been born, how the women had said she was cursed by Kami-sama himself. Perhaps it was true because she could never find happiness for more than a few moments. A stray breeze ruffled her hair and she shivered, pulling her precious bundle closer to share the warmth of her body. An arm came around her waist and she leaned into Kouga's shoulder. Suddenly, she felt very tired and the world seemed impossible big and cold. But beside her, where Kouga stood, there was warmth.

In a way she longed for companionship, in her heart she was in many ways still a child that craved attention. Things had been much easier when Hojou was there to care and provide for her. As it was now she had no one but Rin who was not yet old enough to bear the burden of grief. If Kagome had her way the child would never know grief or want. That is what she vowed to herself, it is what kept her sane throughout the dizzying spin of time and the lonely hours.

"You know. . ." the youkai said, his voice sounding a bit unsteady "I think I might have found a job for you in my household after all."

Her voice was a whisper because part of her was afraid, "What would that be?"

"As my wife."

There was a heavy silence in the air. Kagome felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest, at the moment she didn't have the will to be strong and tell him no. Besides, at that moment, `no' seemed like the wrong answer anyways because she was tired of being shunned and kept out of the group. At Kouga's side she would never have to worry about people excluding her. He would offer her support and the means to give Rin the things she desired. Kouga had always been kind to her, he didn't seem to care that she did not have noble blood, he seemed to understand how important her child was to her and was willing to accept that. It really was a good offer, to be the lady of a noble household and not just another one of the women on the side.

"It's a perfectly respectable position," he said, his breath warm upon her ear.

"Hai," she said. Whether she was agreeing to be his wife or agreeing that it was an honorable position, she wasn't sure. But Kouga took it as her consent and his arm tightened around her waist as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Her eyes watered, she wanted to cry and to smile, to scream and to be silent and so all she did was nod her head in acknowledgement of his affection. Taking one deep steadying breath, she looked up into Kouga's face and when he smiled down at her, she was able to truly smile as well. `Perhaps things will work out for me this time,' she thought.

~*~

The wedding ceremony was much more elaborate this time. There were many people present at the celebratory feast that night, even the king and his two sons had been invited although their status kept them busy and they did not attend. Kouga said he knew them well.

A nurse had been found and was assigned the sole duty of caring for Rin. Kagome did not like that idea at all. During the busy hectic day of the ceremony she was constantly worried about her daughter. She felt uncomfortable having someone else take part in the raising of her child. Kouga had insisted that as a noble woman it was only proper to have someone to help mind the child. Kagome had argued. In the end and agreement was made. Kagome could keep Rin with her throughout the day but at night, the child would stay with her nurse in a separate room. Although Kagome was not completely comfortable with it, she understood the reasoning and reluctantly complied with his wishes.

As they sat amongst their guests eating the feast that had been prepared for the occasion, Kouga sat very close to her. His leg was pressed against hers, one of his hands rested on her thigh beneath the table. Often, his eyes would drift to her and he seemed impatient for the evening to hurry along so that they could retire to their chambers. Kagome blushed at some of the heated looks he was gave her.

Now that the day had arrived, Kagome was suddenly afraid of the wolf youkai. Though it was true that she was no longer a virgin, it would be her first time with anyone other than her late husband, it would also be her first experience with a youkai. She didn't know what to expect, were their habits in some way different from ningens? Would he be gentle, as Hojou had always been with her or would he be forceful?

Before she was really ready, the feasting came to an end and Kouga stood, offering her his hand. She took it and he helped her to her feet and led her to the room they would be sharing.

~*~

Once the shouji screen had closed, he was upon her. His hands, firm and sure began to untie the complicated knot of her obi, his mouth was insistent as he kissed her. Not knowing how to react, Kagome remained still under his touch. Then his tongue ran across her lips and she parted them and allowed him to deepen the kiss.

When their lips parted, Kagome took deep steadying breaths as the obi fell to the floor. Not wasting anytime, Kouga slid the silk from her shoulders and it fell to the floor to pool around her feet. Light, tender kisses trailed from her jaw line, across her collarbone, down between her breasts and across the plain of her stomach where they stopped. He was kneeling before her, his forehead resting against her abdomen.

For a minute it was silent and everything was still. But in a flash of movement, Kagome was swept off her feet and before she could comprehend what was happening she found herself lying atop the futon with Kouga's weight pressing down on her.

Some how her hair had come free of its elaborate bun and was now around her shoulders. Kouga's hands cupped her breasts and she shyly reached up to unbind his long ebony hair. It fell, framing his face as his eyes, dark with lust looked into her uncertain gaze.

He smiled reassuringly and shifted above her, placing his arousal at her already moist entrance. A sigh escaped her when he plunged into her, his hands held firmly onto her hips as he thrust into her.

The experience as a whole was different than what she was used to. With Hojou it had all been feather-light touches and sweet kisses. At times it had been like he thought she was delicate crystal that would shatter at any moment. With Kouga there was power and energy behind his movements that she had never known.

Above her, he grunted and groaned as he slid in and out of her sheath. The force of his thrusts caused her body to move beneath him, her breasts bouncing lightly in an erotic display that brought him closer to the edge. Her inner walls contracted around him, once, twice and a third time that sent him into orgasm. She watched as his eyes closed and his jaw clenched as he came inside of her.

Still above her, he smiled down and Kagome reached up to wipe the perspiration from his brow. He began to rain light kisses over her face and throat as he pulled out of her.

That night seemed to go on forever, the wolf youkai seemed tireless and by morning Kagome felt too exhausted to move and Kouga, finally sated fell into a deep sleep at her side. For a few minutes, she watched him. The feeling in her was neither good nor bad, it was neutral. A calm acceptance of the way things were and the way her life would be. She didn't care for Kouga any more than she had cared for Hojou. Love was still a distant imaginary place to her. But that was all right so long as she could raise her child and live in contentment.

Her current social status surpassed anything she would have dreamed. She was now the lady of a noble household, the wife of a daimyo. Nearing her sixteenth year, she now had a child and had entered into her second marriage; before sleep overtook her Kagome wondered what else life would send her way.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reviewer responses:

Miss_Marilyn69: ^_^ Thanks for your continued reading and reviews.

Riomi: Don't worry, I said it'll be a Inuyasha/Kagome fic and so they'll end up together eventually. I'm eager to get them together but I don't want to rush the fic so I have to keep reminding myself to keep it a bit slow so it doesn't seem like Kagome is just hopping from one guy to the next. Oh, I have so many plans for Sesshoumaru and Rin! But I'm getting ahead of myself, so I better settle down and write all the in-between first.

LottaLuvGurl: Thank you for the review and I'm glad you like my fic. ^_~

DBZ Lover: Don't worry, I have plans for Inuyasha and Kagome, but there'll be more angst. LOL I can't just hand her over to him, that would be way too easy. Hey. . . I wasn't the one who killed Hojou. . . he was a samurai, it's their job to fight and face death. . . But Kouga is relatively safe, I don't think I'll kill him off. . . Thanks for the review!

Moonqueen: Arigato for the review and the compliment! I'm flattered that you think so highly of my story.

RavenShadow: Thanks for the review! Hope you enjoyed this update.

Li-Chan15: Thank you ^_^ I did have fun on my birthday and I'm happy to receive your review/birthday greeting. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for the review.

Leelee189: Thanks for your review. I think probably the best comments I get are the one's that say `this is such an original story' so thanks for that too. ^_^

New Fan: Sorry that I didn't get Inuyasha and Kagome together yet. I hate to keep you waiting but I have other plans for her at the moment. But I promise they'll get together eventually! Thanks for your review. Almost forgot, to answer your previous question Inuyasha will be hanyou and Sesshoumaru will be youkai so characters will continue to be what they are in the anime.

Kenji: I'm glad you like my fic. Yeah, not many people like Hojou lol But just hang in there because I promise Inu and Kag will be together! As for your guess, you've already found out that Inuyasha isn't Hojou's cousin, I'm not sure whether or not Kikyou will be in this fic (I seem to cut her out of my fics for some reason, not that I have anything against her she just never fits in) Shippou will enter later but not as Inuyasha's son. Guess you'll just have to wait and see what happense hehehe ^_^ Thanks for the review.

Kawool: Lol, I'll tell Kagome to feed Rin lots of ramen to help her grow quickly, but she seems to be really protective over the kid so I don't know how she'll take the advice. Thank you for wishing me a happy birthday and of course thanks for the review.

Nena: Thanks for the review and for liking my story ^_^ I can hardly wait to get to the Inu/Kag and the grown up Rin parts myself.

Eikofangirl: Thank you for the review and for the compliment. I will definitely keep writing, I'm really in love with this plotline myself.

RavenShadow: I can't wait to write what happens to Kagome and Rin in the future!!! But I promised myself I would take my time with this fic to make sure that it turns out the way I want it to. Thanks for the review.

The Dragon: I'm glad you like the story and thank you for reviewing. Hehe, I think Hojou is such a funny character in the anime. So clueless and yet all the girls at the school fawn over him. . . weird. I have nothing against him, and after all he was the first to marry Kagome in the fic. . . Heh, but anyways, thanks again and hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Ayama: Thank you for the review. I'm sure your story is good too ^_^ Just as long as you enjoy writing it, it's worthwhile. I'll try and remember to e-mail you whenever I update but I have a pretty bad memory so forgive me if you don't always get it. Hehe Ja ne.

Panthera: Thanks for the review and the encouragement. ^_^ I'll keep writing as long as I keep getting reviews!!!! Lol, yeah I know. . . I'm so pathetic but every writer loves reviews, they're addicting!

Sara: Sorry to keep you waiting ^_^ Hope you liked this chapter, and well, we still have yet to see what else happens in Kouga's household but Inuyasha and Kagome should have their next encounter soon or so I think. . . Thanks for the review.

Klep: Lol @ "I'm the lord. . . of pervertedness!" ^_^ Kouga's going to hate me, first he was abused by a reviewer from my other fic and now you're bonking him on the head. Oh well, I'm sure his hard head can handle it though. Don't worry there will be Inu/Kag parts coming up. . . at some point, I don't know exactly when though. But thanks for the review!