InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeking the Hime's Heart ❯ Green as Envy ( Chapter 6 )

Seeking the Hime's Heart

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Part 1: Quest for the Beginning

Author's note: My reasons for not updating in a while are as follows: stress, writer's block, Vegas and illness. (I'm still actually kinda sick but at least my mind seems to be clearer) But here I am, still alive and finally able to get the next chapter out. Very sorry about the huge delay and this isn't even one of the better chapters of the story either, but just so you don't abandon the story I'll tell you this: Inuyasha and Kagome are going to meet in the next chapter.

Last time: No excerpt since it was a lemon and the file has mysteriously disappeared off of my computer. But Kouga and Kagome are now husband and wife.

Chapter 6: Green as Envy

~*~

Mornings were always the most peaceful part of Kagome's day. The air

Was always so cool on her skin when she awoke to the light of the rising sun. Every morning, for a few minutes, she would sit next to the futon and watch her sleeping husband.

His long dark hair would be splayed messily around his head, framing his strong masculine features. Once in a while his pointy ears would twitch, he would mumble incoherently or shift in his sleep. Those were all small insignificant things that she noticed. She could never really get herself to think seriously about Kouga. He was a mystery that she didn't want to solve because seeking a solution to the puzzle meant having to care and she still was incapable of caring for any human being that was not Rin. So, in her morning routine she would study the minute things he did, the way he wrinkled his nose just before waking up, how he never covered his mouth when he yawned or the way he held his chopsticks in his left hand when he was actually right-handed. Those were the things she knew about her husband, and she never sought to gain more knowledge of him.

As Kouga began to wake, she would dress herself before a maid could come to help her. Secretly, she hated being dressed by others and the only thing she would occasionally allow them to help her with was the tying of the intricate knot of her obi. Used to doing things on her own, being waited on hand and foot did not sit well with Kagome and so she did as much as possible for herself.

After having dressed, Kagome would then leave the confines of the room she shared with her youkai husband and made her way to Rin's room. Usually she would find the maid already awake and tending to the child, who seemed to like the woman assigned to help care for her, much to Kagome's chagrin. Watching Rin interact with others sometimes made Kagome oddly jealous. When Rin would smile at someone or laugh when she wasn't there an ache formed in her heart and she decided that she wanted to be the only one to receive Rin's love and attention. No matter how childish she knew it was, Kagome couldn't help but covet Rin and try to hide her away from the world.

Having retrieved her child, the young woman would then head to the dining room where both girls sat for a few minutes until Kouga's arrival. Once the lord of the house was present breakfast would be served.

On one particularly memorable morning, just after the breakfast dishes were being cleared from the table and as Kagome was standing to take her usual walk through the gardens, there was the sound of much shouting coming from the courtyard. Kouga had frowned and headed directly to the source of all the noise. Kagome, curious and with nothing else to do, had followed. Later in life, Kagome would look back and wonder what her life would have been like had that morning never happened.

But as fate would have it that morning did exist and so Kagome wandered out into the courtyard to find a group of perhaps six or seven youkai. They were being held back by a few of Kouga's guards. At the front of the group was a young female, her hair was colored red and her eyes were greener then envy. The shouting, for the most part, was coming from the fiery-haired female.

When Kouga appeared in the courtyard, with Kagome a few feet behind him, the noise died down and the young woman fell silent with a smirk forming on her lips. While Kouga approached the group, Kagome stood in the doorway, quietly watching the scene with Rin held tightly in her arms.

"Kouga!" the voice that called out to him was joyful and melodic and from her spot behind him, Kagome saw her husband's footsteps falter. It had been barely noticeable, but she had seen it. She had been watching carefully because in the air hung a feeling of importance for that moment and change was in the air. It had been one of those scenes that seem to happen dramatically slow.

With a single word from Kouga, the guards let the young female pass by them and the rest of her group waited behind. Smiling brightly and giggling, she had rushed towards the daimyo and threw her arms around him. The girl, her green eyes dancing, momentarily caught sight of Kagome before Kouga pried her arms off of him. Although she felt stupid for it later, Kagome had been jealous, perhaps slightly angry at the way the girl touched Kouga so familiarly.

Frowning, Kouga held the girl at arms length, "Who are you?"

The girl, yet to be named, pouted for two seconds before she resumed her shouting from earlier.

"What do you mean `who are you?' I'm Ayame! How could you forget who I am? You are supposed to marry me!"

His frown deepening, Kouga released the girl's shoulders and took a step back.

"Woman, be quiet!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Kagome gasped at the girl's bold statement, she would never dare to speak to a man like that. But instead of reprimanding her, Kouga smiled and his eyes widened.

"Now, I remember you." He stated.

The girl, Ayame, smiled, "Yes, and before you left home to claim these lands you said you would marry me."

"Well, I don't remember having ever agreed to that. Besides, I already have a wife."

All at once, everyone seemed to notice Kagome's presence. Everyone there, the guards, the few curious servants, Kouga, Ayame and her companions, they all turned to look at her. Briefly, her eyes met with Kouga's, but she had to look away for proprieties sake and because she couldn't stand the look he gave her. It had been appraising, as if he were mentally comparing her to the other young woman.

It happened so quickly, Kagome had barely blinked her eyes and when she opened them Ayame was there. The girl's clawed hand held Kagome's chin firmly, at her side Rin began to cry. But Kagome could do nothing but stare into the green eyes that blazed in anger. It quickly became painful, the tips of Ayame's claws pressed into her skin and she became afraid. But before anything could happen or be said, Kouga had taken hold of the girl and brought her away from Kagome.

"That little girl is your wife?!" Ayame yelled.

Kagome was startled by the comment, she was old enough by human standards to be married and in appearance Ayame looked to be the same age as her. Holding her by the arm, Kouga dragged Ayame into the house, but as she passed by Kagome she swung around to send the young mother a glare.

"You filthy ningen whore, that child isn't even Kouga's!"

Before anything else could be said the youkai was dragged down the hall and away from the cringing Kagome. Tears formed in her eyes and before anyone could see them Kagome ran, letting her feet lead her to the gardens.

~*~

The day passed by quickly and uneventfully, Kagome was left to herself for most of the day. Left to her own devices, the young wife spent the day talking to her child and walking the toddler around in the gardens. Though her footsteps were still unsteady and timid, Kagome was pleased at the progress that had been made.

Throughout the day there had been much time for Kagome to think of her failures as a wife. She had listed them in her head, starting with the fact that she was not of noble blood. Being that she was common born she lacked training; she did not know the proper procedures to execute the tea ceremony, she could not arrange flowers, she had never been taught any form of art, could not play an instrument, could not deal with servants, did not know how to manage her husbands household and did not know the correct ways to deal with guests. In addition, she was uneducated and so could not read or write. She even needed help with Rin although the child did not even belong to the man she was currently married to. But the worst one was probably the fact that there was no progress in Kouga's quest to conceive a child with her. That is what had made her cry when Ayame had directly insulted her, it was a reminder of her failure as a woman.

Every night since their marriage Kouga had graced her bed, and yet, nearly a year and a half later, there had not even been the slightest sign of her being with child. Kagome was quickly becoming worried that there was something ailing her, preventing her from having a child. Perhaps she was cursed, maybe Kami really was punishing her for something she had done; though as to what sin she may have committed she hadn't the faintest clue.

Life seemed as dreary as ever. Though Kouga never reprimanded her or questioned the current lack of a child, she could sense that he was distancing himself from her. When they had first married, he had doted on her, given her his undivided attention and lavished her with affection. In random intervals throughout the day he would seek her out for his passions or perhaps just for a friendly kiss on the cheek or a fond embrace; those moments had ceased to exist in the past few months.

Recently she noticed his gaze wandering to other women and at those times her face would become heated and red with shame. It was her fault, of course, she told herself this over and over again. She did not work hard enough to please him, she was not pretty enough, smart enough or good enough, she never put any effort into gaining his attention. But that was just the way she was, always quiet unless spoken to, never saying anything that could be seen as an argument, that was the way women were supposed to be.

Sighing, Kagome looked down to her slumbering child. The sun had set a little more than an hour ago. They were indoors now, Rin lay atop her futon blissfully unaware of the turmoil in her mother's heart and for that Kagome was grateful.

The child was strangely quiet, she had not even begun to try and speak in that nonsensical language that baby's have. Having asked around, she knew it was odd but refused to believe that her Rin was `dull-witted,' as some people tried to convince her. Her daughter's eyes were too bright, too understanding for her to be cursed with any sort of infliction upon her mind. Rin would speak one day, of this Kagome was certain. But mean while, she was lonely and often times she talked to the child at length when they were alone though there was no hope of her being understood. It was just comforting to have Rin smiling at her and tugging at her hair and clothing.

~*~

Soon, it was time for Kagome to go to bed and as she removed the layers of her formal kimono to be replaced with a simple yukata, she realized that she had not seen her husband all day. He had spent the day in his office, speaking with Ayame and the rest of her group, and they had all been absent at the afternoon and evening meals. Not thinking much of it, Kagome yawned and laid out the futon her and Kouga usually shared.

Lying down on her side, she curled into a fetal position and put her hands beneath her head. Closing her eyes, Kagome realized she was no longer tired. It felt strange to be lying in bed alone; she hadn't done so in such a long time. In her head she began to count, it was most likely the only useful thing her father ever taught her. `ichi. . . ni. . . san. . . shi. . .go. . . roku. . . shichi. . . hachi. . . kyuu. . . juu. . .' too bad he had only taught her how to count to ten. . .

~*~

Kouga never came to bed that night and Kagome tried not to think about what that implied. Just before the sun began to light the still dark sky, her husband stumbled into their room. On his face he wore a lazy grin and seemed startled to find his young wife awake. His kimono was in disarray, as if he had hastily put it on without the help of the servants who usually aided him in dressing. There lingered on his skin, the smell of perspiration and another heavy, musky odor that Kagome did not care to identify.

It was not her place to question him on his whereabouts; not that she had to where or rather whom he had been with was fairly obvious in Kagome's mind. So she said nothing, but rose from her comfortable position from atop the futon and approached him. For one brief, awkward moment she stood before him avoiding eye contact and then she reached to undo the sash holding his clothing together. He said nothing and stayed perfectly still.

Hastily removing his clothing, Kagome went to fetch a fresh yukata from a chest placed in the corner of their room. He didn't turn to watch where she went and so as she went back to him, the clean garment in hand, she saw the thin red welts along his back. She could imagine Ayame being a rather passionate lover, from what she had witnessed of the female youkai. If there had been any doubts as to where he had been, there weren't any now. Calmly, she motioned for him to lift his arms so that she could put the yukata on him and he obliged. Tying a knot into the sash, she completed the task of dressing him and by the time she was done the sun was now beginning to color the sky.

Yawning tiredly, Kouga lay down on the futon and Kagome kneeled next to him and covered his exhausted form with a blanket to fend off the chilly morning air. It was then that she noticed a strand of bright red hair amongst his dark mane. Picking the strand out of his hair, Kagome stood and quietly exited the room just as her husband began to snore.

Finding herself unable to distinguish any specific emotion she was feeling, the young woman entered Rin's room. Rin's maid stirred but did not waken. Choosing a spot next to Rin on the futon, Kagome lay down on her back and held the strand of red hair up to her eyes. Finding that she was neither angry nor sad she internally shrugged and turned to watch her sleeping child until the sun fully rose.

~*~

"You're absolutely pathetic, you know that? You can't do anything right."

Looking up at her `instructor' Kagome frowned, although she was not the best of students, she did not constantly need to be reminded of her failures. Across the table from her, Ayame smirked her superiority. Before them lay a beautiful antique tea set. Since her stay had become permanent, Kouga had given Ayame the task of teaching Kagome some of the finer points of being a noble woman. They were currently working on the tea ceremony. No matter how many times she performed the act, Kagome's hands never seemed to move gracefully enough or her tea was too bitter or too watery. At least that is what she was told by Ayame.

"Try it again," the youkai ordered.

Sighing dejectedly, Kagome nodded and extended her hand to pick up the teapot.

"I don't like the way you move. You're too jerky, be smooth and graceful," Ayame sighed, "I hate having to teach worthless ningens. It's a miracle Kouga hasn't kicked you out of his household with all your annoying clumsiness."

That struck a nerve, the teapot fell from Kagome's fingers. It crashed against the wooden table and fell into hundreds of pieces.

Screaming could be heard from the room and sniffling. Having finished her tormenting for the day, Ayame stood and left the room, slamming the shouji screen shut.

Dabbing at her eyes with a bit of cloth, Kagome hiccupped. After a few minutes there was the sound of someone entering the room and Kagome did her best to fix her appearance and hide any indication that she had been crying.

"Don't bother, I can smell the tears Kagome."

Of course, there was a down side to living with youkai. They seemed to be able to smell everything.

Kouga sat next to her and took her hand in his claws.

"No matter how much I tell her she will not stop treating you this way until you stand up to her."

Kagome stiffened. He had never before come between any of their previous arguments. Actually, it was more like she had never witnessed him defending her against the female youkai; what occurred between them could not be called an argument seeing as how Kagome never actively responded to the other woman's yelling and insults.

Kouga continued talking, not noticing her unease.

"You are my wife Kagome, as such you do have power over her. As the Lady of the household you should demand her respect; she owes it to you. But because she is youkai she won't just give her respect freely, you have to show her your strength."

Wiping away a few stray tears, Kagome glanced up at her youkai husband.

"I have none," she whispered. To her it was the truth. Strength did not become a woman such as she, who accepted life as it was and brooked no arguments with what fate sent to her.

Looking into her deep, blue eyes he could see that she believed what she said. Shaking his head in semi-defeat, Kouga stood to leave. He did not know how to make her stronger, had not thought it necessary for her to be strong until now. In this respect he could not protect her, she was not in any real harm but life would not be easy for her if she could not stand up to the youkai female's bullying. He decided to drop the topic.

"Anyways, what I really came in here to tell you was that we will be traveling to the Western castle. I've just received word that Inutaisho-sama has died, his son shall now take his place and I have been summoned to pay tribute to him and discuss the contracts I had with his father. So be ready to leave at the end of the week."

Frowning slightly, Kagome stood.

"Then, I am to go with you my lord?"

He flashed her a boyish smirk before nodding his head and taking his leave of her. Fingering the sleeves of her kimono, Kagome smiled slightly. Perhaps a trip away from home would be nice.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thank you to all my reviewers (I'd have responses but I doubt anyone would really remember what they had said since it was over a month ago -_- Oh well, next time.):

Darkmoon0829~*~NightstarAngel~*~LottaLuvGurl~*~Miss_Marilyn69~* ~InusDemoness~*~Inubaby4life~*~LiL_Elf~*~New_Fan~*~Kenji~*~Kawoon~*~Rasberr ies~*~RekkaShinen~*~Panthera~*~TheDragon~*~Anhimals~*~ and Sara