InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Seeking the Hime's Heart ❯ To See You Again ( Chapter 7 )

Seeking the Hime's Heart

By: EvilNekoEatsYourSoul

Part 1: Quest for the Beginning

Author's note: Let's see there seem to be a lot of general concerns about the age difference between Sesshoumaru and Rin. It's like this, the setting is feudal Japan and at the time it was okay for an older man to be married to a teenage girl (And it's not like Sesshoumaru looks his age.). There will be a very big age gap between Rin and Sesshoumaru, if you are utterly appalled by that then I'm sorry but I just can't picture it being any other way. Also, there was this huge outcry of "Kouga! You bastard, you cheated on Kagome!" That is not the case, in the time setting there is no such thing as `cheating' on one's wife. As a daimyo Kouga has every right to take as many willing females as he can find to his bed; that was the attitude of the times. (Not that I agree with it but it was perfectly acceptable back then.). In any case here is the next chapter. Read, enjoy and review.

Last time: He flashed her a boyish smirk before nodding his head and taking his leave of her. Fingering the sleeves of her kimono, Kagome smiled slightly. Perhaps a trip away from home would be nice.

Chapter 7: To See You Again

~*~

There was an empty hollow feeling lingering in her heart, a fear that what she valued most would not be there upon her return. Yet she was a woman and could not disobey her lord and husband. He had ordered that Rin stay back, saying the child could not handle the travel. While it was true, a week and four days on the road was not exactly healthy for a child of no more than 18 months, but there was a horrible thought plaguing her mind. What if Rin forgot about her mother while she was away?

Kagome sniffled as a maid helped her to dress in an elaborate kimono of many layers. It was made of the softest silk and dyed in a gentle, pastel pink with white sakura blossoms tumbling along the hem and sleeves. Placing a firm hand against the thick obi and applying light pressure, she took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she continued to breath in and out, trying to calm herself before she was to be presented before the ou-sama.

A soft knock came from outside her room just as her hair was done being put up into an elegant bun atop her head.

"Who is it?" Kagome asked, her voice wavering a bit.

In the back of her mind there was a voice taunting her, assuring her that she would make a fool of herself during her stay here, she thought it a bit odd that the voice in her head sounded like Ayame. They had only arrived at the Western castle the night before and already Kagome was absolutely miserable. She couldn't stand the combined anxiety of looking foolish and the fears imbedded in her heart.

Without much thought, Kagome murmured for Kouga to enter, though she hadn't been paying much attention to who was outside her door he was the only one who would come to see her. But as she turned to greet her husband she was startled to see a young woman kneeling in the doorway in a low bow.

"Anou. . .," Kagome said nervously, "was there something you wanted?"

Rising from her bow, the servant smiled kindly.

"My name is Yumi. I have been assigned to serve you for the remainder of your stay here, Kagome-sama."

"But why?"

"You have brought only one maid with you, is that correct?"

Kagome nodded.

Frowning slightly, Yumi continued.

"It is not befitting for a woman of your rank to have just one servant. Kouga-sama is a very important ally to Sesshoumaru-sama and well, we don't usually have female guests in the castle and so we did not know how best to cater to your needs and to keep you entertained and so they sent me here so that I may show you around the castle and take you where ever it is you wish to go."

"I see. . ." was all Kagome could think of to say.

"Besides, I know all the latest gossip!" the servant gushed, finding that her temporary mistress seemed rather lenient and didn't mind her talking, "You'll have so much fun and I'm sure you'll be introduced to everyone at court. Oh, I almost forgot! I was told to bring you to one of the reception chambers where Sesshoumaru-sama and Kouga-sama are having tea."

Grinning broadly, Yumi stood and backed out of the chamber, bowing in respect. Nervously, Kagome stood to follow the girl into the hallway. They passed a few people as Kagome silently followed Yumi.

Keeping her head lowered and avoiding eye contact, Kagome listened as the servant chattered on about some recent scandal between one of the visiting daimyo and a young servant from the kitchens. She barely heard anything being said to her, her mind was already thinking of what she should do when entering the room. More than ever she regretted leaving the safety of Kouga's home.

Along the shouji screen walls were beautiful paintings of lush forests and turbid seas. In her own guest room, there had been a skillful painting of the elegant flight of a crane over a clear blue pond. The extravagant décor made her increasingly more uncomfortable. These stunning halls with its clean, well-kept tatami mats were meant to be floated upon by himes. More then ever she felt like out of place as she treaded through the massive building.

It had been quite a sight, as they neared the large structure of the Western castle. It was completely surrounded by stonewalls, the entire grounds contained several different buildings with separate lodgings for servants, the royal family, guests and a barracks for soldiers. There was also a storage building for foods and other equipment.

Trying to keep her mind clear of worry, Kagome wondered what it might be like to actually live in such a place.

"-then she said that Kimiko smelled like rotten fish. . . Oh, here we are. They're just inside of this room," Yumi said, motioning towards the shouji door in front of them.

Nodding her head, Kagome kneeled outside of the door.

"Would you like me to wait here for you? Or I could wait for you in your room. . ."

"Oh. . . you can wait in my room. . . I guess. . ."

Smiling reassuringly, Yumi turned to leave.

Kagome took another deep, steadying breath before gently knocking on the door. Her eyes were staring holes into the tatami beneath her, not wanting to offend the ou-sama by being so bold as to make eye contact with a man far superior to her status.

"Enter," the voice was smooth, slightly commanding and just bordering on politeness.

Her hand trembled as she reached over and slid the shouji screen, when it was fully opened she placed her hand in her lap and bowed low until her head was less than an inch away from the floor.

"Ah, Kagome," the voice was Kouga's, "come here, sit next to me."

It wasn't proper for her to do that, but it was the request of her husband and so she stood and entered the room, sliding the shouji behind her closed before slowly approaching the table where they sat. She continued to keep her eyes to the floor, only looking up briefly to guide herself to Kouga's side. Never did her glance fall upon the other occupant of the room.

"This is my wife, Kagome"

There was silence for a moment and then the ou-sama spoke.

"You needn't be afraid. Though you are. . . ningen," he said it with disdain, "no harm shall come to you while you remain in my home."

With that comment, Kagome gathered her courage and lifted her head to look at the man sitting across from her and Kouga. There was a sharp intake of breath as she gazed upon him. He was. . . handsome, to say the least, utterly beautiful with his silver hair and golden eyes, his skin was flawless, the color of alabaster. On his cheeks were two magenta stripes; on his forehead he bore the mark of a crescent moon. With his hair tucked neatly behind his pointy ears, it was easy to see that he was youkai.

His eyes met hers as he lifted a teacup to his perfectly sculpted lips and sipped at the warm brew, his movements were graceful and beneath it all she could sense power. Kagome's heartbeat quickened, her eyes became slightly glazed with fear. He was cold, his eyes and face expressionless, as he seemed to study her. Her posture was rigid as she watched the beautifully deadly creature before her. After a moment more she was able to tear her gaze away from him.

Kouga's hand was resting on her knee, she hadn't even noticed his touch until she looked away.

"I said you had nothing to fear, I wouldn't dishonor myself by hurting a ningen female."

Glancing at her husband, Kagome felt slightly better when Kouga nodded reassuringly. Then, as if she was not there at all, they began to talk. With nothing else to do, Kagome studied whatever she could see of the room and half-listened to their conversation.

"-I always thought you hated each other. By the way you treat each other I figured the only reason he stayed was for your father."

"Contrary to popular belief I hold no hate for my half-brother, nor do I blame him for his parentage; it was something he had no control over. While I do not approve of his recklessness, I would much prefer him to Naraku."

"Is it wise to speak of your. . . dislike for the Shogun so freely?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the ou-sama shrug and take another sip from his teacup. It was empty when he put it down on the table, his eyes went from the teacup to Kagome's silent form.

Taking the hint, the young wife leaned forward to grab the teapot and refill both men's cups. She was, for once, glad of Ayame's harsh criticism and training. Kagome's hand did not shake when she poured the tea and when she once again set the teapot upon the table it did not make a sound.

"He is, at present, not within the castle. He has gone to some nearby village to take care of `personal matters,' or so he says. He is respected to return tomorrow."

The conversation lulled on and soon Kagome had almost completely blocked out there voices. She was thinking about Rin, wondering if the toddler would be able to walk without help or hesitation by the time she returned; Kagome hoped not. It was her desire to be there, living every moment with her daughter. As a mother she wanted to be the one to hear Rin's first words, to see the first time her child ran, to capture every smile and giggle and hold those things close to her.

Thinking of those things, she became side-tracked and had to be shaken from her daze by Kouga. Frowning down at her, he stood and offered her his hand to help her get on her feet. Bowing to the youkai king, Kagome backed out of the room and followed her husband down the hall towards their rooms.

~*~

Upon returning to her room, Kagome had dismissed both servants so that she could be alone. Not knowing what else to do she had spent most of the day simply sitting quietly in her room. When it was time for the evening meal Kouga came to escort her to the dining room.

During the meal, Kouga and her sat at a table just below the ou-sama's. It wasn't until that time that she discovered their silver-haired leader's name; Sesshoumaru. In the room there was a low platform with a table set on it, that is where Sesshoumaru sat, next to him was his half-brother, or so Kagome assumed.

The man sitting next to the ou-sama had the most unusual triangular ears atop his head. They were covered in short white fur that matched his hair. From beneath his bangs there was the glint of gold, indicating he shared the same eye color with Sesshoumaru. With the two brothers sitting side-by-side it was easy to see the differences between them. Sesshoumaru was taller, he sat with a rigid posture while his brother was shorter with broader shoulders and slouched over his food. Although they shared their hair color, the texture was different; the ou-sama's was sleek and perfectly straight; his brother's was more wild an untamed, it had more volume. Then there was the expression on their faces, the ou-sama looked perpetually indifferent as if nothing could touch him and his brother looked angry throughout the entire meal, a slight pout set to his lips.

The memory struck her suddenly as she was contemplating the clothing of the ou-sama's brother. He had been there the day she had been brought before Kouga. Though he had left shortly after her arrival it would be hard to forget his features, not just anybody, whether they be ningen or youkai, had silver hair and golden eyes. She supposed it was probably a trait unique to the royal family.

If she hadn't been watching him, his departure would have gone completely unnoticed. While everyone else lingered to socialize after they had taken their fill, he stood abruptly and silently exited the room once he had finished his meal. As he walked, his back was rigid as if he were expecting an attack but his footsteps were light and soft, even if they were a bit hurried.

In her stomach there was an odd fluttering as her pulse quickened. For a brief moment he glanced back and their eyes met. Quickly, she looked away her cheeks feeling hot and flushed.

"Kouga," Kagome said softly, placing a hand on his forearm. He turned to her, smiling indulgently.

"Who was the man that just left? He was sitting next to Sesshoumaru-sama."

Glancing towards the empty seat next to Sesshoumaru, Kouga shrugged.

"Probably just the inu-koro. He's Sesshoumaru-sama's half-brother, Inuyasha."

"Oh," Kagome whispered mostly to herself.

Seeing he had satisfied her curiosity, Kouga turned away from her, striking up conversation with another visiting lord who had been seated next to him during the meal. It was then the Kagome politely excused herself, walking back to her guestroom alone.

~*~

She wanted to see him again. That was what Kagome was thinking at the moment as she sat in the company of Yumi who was busy twisting her hair into an elaborate bun. She had spent the night thinking about the ou-sama's half brother, Inuyasha. When she saw him at the morning meal her gaze constantly strayed to his solitary form. Both Sesshoumaru and Kouga had not been present and so the dog-eared youkai had been sitting alone. Just as the night before, he had looked angry and wary of the other occupants of the room though he showed no indication of knowing she had been watching him.

He was odd compared to the other occupants of the castle, while the rest of the nobility seemed quite social, spending their time chatting with one another while he stayed absolutely silent. Kagome thought that perhaps they had something in common as she too did not join in the conversation.

But she did listen to the talk around her, she noticed the curious glances she received and even heard some of the whispered comments. It was as if they thought that because she was a ningen, that she could not hear at all. This morning she had noticed that the majority of the castle's occupants were youkai.

Some unknown source seemed to have gathered the information that Kagome was not born of noble blood. She was common born, not much better then some of the servants attending the courtiers, and she was married to a youkai. A few women looked at her with barely concealed dislike. Through it all she kept her head lowered in an attempt to avoid confrontation. She was used to being disliked.

Shaking herself from the memories of this morning, Kagome ventured to question the servant despite the impropriety of her asking about a male other then her husband.

"Anou. . . Yumi-san," she began nervously, "there was a man at breakfast. . . He had silver hair and was- well, he was sitting by himself. . ."

"Oh! That must have been Inuyasha-sama. They say that he is a hanyou."

"Hanyou?" Kagome repeated.

"Hai," the young servant nodded enthusiastically, flying into explanation mode. "It happened a long time ago, like almost a hundred years!"

"A hundred years? How is that possible?"

"Well, he is part youkai."

Kagome held the rest of her questions. In anycase she felt stupid having to ask questions about the differences between youkai and ningens, after all wasn't she the one married to a youkai? But she had never thought to ask any questions, she had assumed that they were pretty much the same other then the pointed ears and increased strength.

"It was such a huge scandal at the time that some of the youkai still talk about it. Inuyasha-sama's mother was ningen and married to a ningen man who was a close ally to Inutaisho-sama and so the family often visited here. So when Inuyasha-sama was born with his silver hair and golden eyes it was apparent whose son he was. Both mother and child were to be killed by her husband so she ran away and came to this castle. But the night after her arrival she committed hara-kiri to wipe away the dishonor of her son and to regain some of her own lost honor. Besides the fact that his mother was dishonorable, Inuyasha-sama is a hanyou and so in this place he is an outcast."

As Yumi finished her explanation, the door to Kagome's room was thrown open. Before she could even see who had so abruptly entered the room Kagome was being held by the collar of her kimono, her feet dangling a few inches from the floor. Her startled blue eyes met with angry golden ones. Inuyasha snarled in her face.

"What are you doing sticking your nose into my business wench?"

Kagome flinched visibly, turning her head away from him in shame. She had wanted to see him again, but not under circumstances such as this.

"Gomen nasai, I was just- I didn't know. . ." Tears formed in her eyes and she sniffled at the harshness of his voice.

Kneeling on the ground, Yumi was bowing and apologizing profusely to the angered hanyou. Ignoring the servant, Inuyasha's grip on Kagome's kimono tightened before he dropped her to the floor.

"Don't bother crying, I wouldn't hurt a pathetic ningen like you and I don't need your sympathy. Not from some spoiled `noble woman,' whose probably never even lost a hair pin."

The tears fell freely now, streaming down her face and falling onto the tatami mats. Frustration, anger and sorrow built within her.

"You don't know me," she whispered, surprised at herself for speaking anything but an apology to him. But she wasn't afraid anymore, he was wrong to treat her that way. He wasn't the only person who had lost someone important to them. To her it seemed very wrong that he should assume she had lived an easy life, it was an insult to her existence because it took so much effort for her to live with all the unhappiness that brewed within her. Yet she couldn't help but cling to what was inbred in her, to submit to the will of a man.

"And I don't want to know you, so just mind your own damn business."

"I'm sorry," Kagome whispered, "I didn't mean to pry or to upset you. I didn't know anything about it, she was just explaining. No harm was meant."

He said nothing, but left her room silently, slamming the shouji screen shut behind him. Stunned, Kagome sat silently staring after him and ignoring Yumi's frantic questions. More then ever, Kagome wished she were at home with Rin, who never failed to comfort her.

"Leave me," when she spoke those words her voice was firm. It was unlike anything she'd ever heard from herself. When Yumi had left, she methodically went through the actions of cleaning her face before lying awake in her futon for the remainder of the day.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reviewer responses:

Thank you for reviewing everyone!

Miss_Marilyn69: Thanks for sticking with the story and I'm feeling much better now so thanks for the concern. ^_^

Inu_obsessed_chick27: Thanks you and I'm glad you like my story so much.

Lil-sesshi: Here's the update, hope you enjoyed it.

Zuppy70: I know, I feel bad for Kagome and I'm the one making all the bad stuff happen to her -_-. Thanks for reading.

Riomi: You know, I actually had the whole idea for Kagome dressing Kouga after he was with Ayame scene in my head for a long time. It was the rest of the chapter that took me a while to get together. I like that scene just because I think it really shows what a dedicated wife Kagome is, she understands that it is her place to accept those things (even if we think differently). I didn't want to make Kouga look like such an asshole because in the anime he isn't a bad character but I thought the last chapter was truer to the feudal times. Sorry to make you get so emotional so that your roommate thinks you're crazy lol but it's good for my ego to know you get caught up in the story! ^_^ I think now that we've gotten Kagome and Inuyasha in the same place that my writing will go smoother so hopefully that means no more super long time periods between updates.

Sara-sama: Well, for the time being Kagome doesn't have to put up with Kagome, and I'll see what I can do about that missing back-bone. ^_^ As you can see, Inuyasha was there, although circumstances were less then pleasant. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Naheta: I'm glad you're enjoying the story thus far.

Kenji: Hmm. . . While I didn't make Kouga the best husband, I don't think he's a total jerk, I rather like his character. In any case, I do have plans for the breaking up of Kouga and Kagome but it won't come for a little while more.

NewFan: Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'm glad you liked the insight on the last one. ^_^

Anhimals: Well, Kagome and Inuyasha have met, but they aren't going to be together just yet.

Rasberries: I really enjoy reading your reviews. ^_^ I'm also glad that you think I'm doing a satisfactory job in sticking to the reality of Asian cultures of the time period, as much as possible I try not to stray, but. . . heh sometimes it can't be helped. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Rini: Well, Sess/rin action won't be for a while more, but soon we'll have Inuyasha/Kagome interaction but not a relationship yet. Kouga's still around after all. . .

Kari: Don't worry, Inu/Kag is on the way. I'm sorry to make you cry -_- but I'm happy you cried because it means my writing is meaningful hehe.

Firefrost: Well, here is the beginning of the kagome/Inuyasha interaction. I think you're the first person to say you cried during the Hojou scene. I think most people were happy to have him gone hehe.

Aubrey: I update the chapters on adultfanfiction at the same time I update chapters of my stories on accounts at other places. So these chapters here are just as recent as anywhere else. I also post at mediaminer and fanfiction.net (but no lemons on fanfiction.net). ^_^ thanks for reading.

Despitefulsaint: Thanks for reading and I'm so glad to hear you like the story so far.