InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sesshoumaru's Secret Life ❯ Developing Problems ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3: Developing Problems

 

Sesshoumaru had to endure a few more beatings during her time with her mother but none ever as bad as that one. She had remained locked in that cell for a week while she healed. Her demon ability to do so slowed by her mother's poison. No one came during that week, no food or water was brought to her and she held herself silently and numbly most of the time staring at the rock wall in front of her. She promised herself then and there that she would never care for another. Her mother was right, it was a weakness, one that could be used against her and she would never allow it again. Finally her mother had returned and brought her out. “Have you learned your lesson, Sesshoumaru?” she had asked the weakened child.

 

“Hai, mother. This Sesshoumaru will not show such a weakness again,” she had replied as she shakily made her way to her rooms, following behind her mother.

 

“Good boy, Sesshoumaru.”

 

The entire incident was never spoken of again by either her mother or her father, and she never saw Anoki again.

 

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By the time Sesshoumaru was thirteen she had begun to develop which infuriated her mother. The demoness would bind the young girl's chest tightly, which caused a constant dull ache in the inu's small developing breasts. Her mother also gave Sesshoumaru a mixture of plants and herbs to aid in developing more muscles and a deeper voice. Sesshoumaru hated the foul mixture that her mother forced down her throat almost daily and she ignored the almost constant throbbing in her chest, becoming very adept at blocking out pain.

 

This served her well in her mock battles with her senseis, able to continue to fight much longer than the other boys in her classes despite the wounds she would receive and they were impressed at the young master's control and skill.

 

Her mother gave her battle armour which effectively hid the feminine physique further. It came up high on her chest splitting into four pieces at the waist to cover her hips, groin and rear. Sesshoumaru kept it tied to her waist with a beautiful yellow and blue obi. It was adorned with a heavy metal brazier with a spiked shoulder guard that was tied on with red tassels, giving the girl the allusion of wider shoulders. She balanced the look by folding her long boa that her father had given her for her birthday over the opposite shoulder. The boa was a family heirloom on her father's side of the family and had been passed down from son to son for many years. It was Sesshoumaru's favourite gift of the many she had received from her father and she was never seen without it. The armour was the only gift her mother had ever given her.

 

Her handling of her poison whip was extraordinary. She would practice long into the night almost every evening until it flowed and danced to her every whim. She had developed her own spinning technique with it that was deadly, able to take out multiple threats in an instant.

 

Her father had been watching and was impressed with his teen son's abilities and decided to take the boy out more and more during inspections of his lands. He also hoped that this would give them time to reacquaint themselves with each other and perhaps bridge the widening gap between them. Another thing that the taiyoukai hoped to impart to his quiet, morose son was how to be responsible with his power. He could see his son even outdoing him some day watching as the young youkai's power grew in leaps and bounds, easily defeating demons twice his size and strength that threatened their lands. His only worry was that nothing seemed to phase the boy. He did everything with an unremorseful, uncaring attitude. He worried that his son was turning into nothing more than a perfect killing machine and that he did not want.

 

“What good is such power without conscious,” he had told the inu demon one day. “Always be honourable in what you do, Sesshoumaru. To act without honour is a disgrace to what you are, a disgrace to me.”

 

“I will remember, father,” she had replied seriously.

 

At fifteen Sesshoumaru had her first heat. She was frightened by the feelings that were coursing through her, not understanding what was happening to her. She ached in places that her mother told her were dirty and unclean. She wanted to touch herself to stop the burning, needy throbbing but was afraid of what her mother would do if she were to find out.

 

Her mother locked her in the dungeons again during this time. “You're such a weak girl, you should have been one of the babies to die, not my real sons,” her mother scoffed at her. “Disgusting child, be sure to always lock yourself away during these times lest others smell your stink. Do you understand now the weakness within you? You are such a disappointment to me and your father.”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded apathetically. She was not going to let this rule her body. She would control it as she controlled everything else that she could so she wouldn't feel the need for whatever it was her body craved. It was a weakness so she would rid herself of it. Always afterwards when these times came she would hide herself away and meditate, denying everything that she was and taking in no food or drink until she had again gained control of her body.

 

Not long after, when she was just about to turn sixteen, two things happened that turned out to be both good and bad. Good in the respect that her mother died. She had been in a battle and had been killed. Sesshoumaru felt nothing at her passing and never thought of her again. Her father was heartbroken, he had loved the inu demoness and never knew of the cruelty within her, and even his great sword the Tenseiga could not or would not bring her back. Which was fine as far as Sesshoumaru was concerned.

 

The bad thing was that her father began to take comfort in the arms of a young human female he had met in his dealings with the human lords surrounding his territory. Mother had always said that humans were vermin, beneath the contempt of all youkai, nothing more than weak, pathetic animals. Sesshoumaru could not understand her father's infatuation with them and avoided them whenever she could. She hoped that this thing he had with the human wench was just a passing fancy, a way to warm his empty bed, surely he was not serious about her.

 

In this Sesshoumaru was to be disappointed. Not only was he serious but he managed to impregnate the creature much to Sesshoumaru's chagrin. She had thought about killing the wench and the unborn abomination she carried but did not know how to accomplish it without her father finding out. The future lord was sure the human female used some kind of trickery or magic to bond her great father to her, why else would he seem so loving towards her.

 

Inu no Tashio would brook no disrespect towards the human woman and father and `son' would argue, the great dog demon becoming angry at the arrogance and insolence of his son. Sesshoumaru becoming disillusioned and bitter towards her father and a wound formed between them that would never be healed.

 

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Sesshoumaru was angered as she stood by the sea waiting for her father.

 

He had gone to fight Ryukotsusei and had forbidden his son to accompany him. “It's too dangerous, Sesshoumaru. You are not ready for such a battle no matter how much you think you are. You are still too young, just barely sixteen.” I cannot take the chance of losing you, my beloved son, he thought.

 

Sesshoumaru had been indignant. “What does my age matter, have I not proven myself to you father? I can do this.”

 

“Sesshoumaru, obey me,” her father had growled out at her and she had. She had stayed behind to await her fathers return with feelings of anger and hurt flowing though her. How could he not trust in my abilities? I have done everything to be strong, to be a man and still I have fallen short somehow.

 

He had returned, grievously wounded, only to do battle again with the humans to save his wretched woman and the hanyou. Sesshoumaru had found it ironic that her father died at the hands of the humans and not the dragon, burned in a fire that should have consumed the hated female and her offspring.

 

And what was that crap about having someone to protect? This Sesshoumaru needs no one, she thought disdainfully. Another thought crept into her mind unbidden, there is no one that needs this Sesshoumaru. That idea bothered her more than she wanted it to so she swept it from her mind and made plans to destroy the female and child that had caused her fathers downfall.

 

A few nights later, at the human woman's home, she had crept into the babe's room unnoticed, scoffing at the weakness and stupidity of the humans to allow her such easy entry.

 

She approached the crib letting her claws drip with venom, hate filling her heart. Then she looked down and her hand stilled; the poison retreating back into her body. He's so small she thought with wonder looking down at the tiny, puppy eared infant. The boy, whose name she had found out was Inuyasha, opened his eyes to look up at her.

 

Sesshoumaru gasped in a small breath. His eyes, they are the same as mine. The two siblings stared at each other for a moment and then Inuyasha lifted his tiny hands and claws to his sister, asking to be picked up. How can he not fear me, does he not sense my intent? Sesshoumaru asked herself but instead of slicing the child's throat, as she had wanted to do just moments ago, she reached down and picked the infant up.

 

She felt a bit awkward, she had never held a baby before but a feeling of peace and fulfillment went through her as the tiny babe gripped her haori and smiled at her. She held the boy closer and sat down in the rocking chair that was beside his crib.

 

“Hello little brother,” she intoned quietly. “I am your bro…no…I am your sister, Sesshoumaru.” She felt such relieve in saying that, in telling someone who she really was for the first time. “I am sure you can keep my secret.”

 

The white haired hanyou looked up at her seriously as if he had understood and agreed.

 

Sesshoumaru began to rock, opening the blanket the child had been wrapped in to get a better look at him. He looked very human except for his gold eyes, white hair, puppy ears and claws. There were no demon markings on his perfect little body. The young demon lord thought the child absolutely beautiful.

 

“I will not kill you now,” Sesshoumaru told the infant as she carefully rewrapped him. ”That would not be honourable to destroy a helpless infant. I will wait until you grow and get strong so you can at least defend yourself and then I will end your life in fair combat. I am sorry, little brother, but I cannot allow you to take what I have worked and suffered for.”

 

Sesshoumaru was talking about the western lands. The supreme responsibility of protecting them had been laid on her by her father's death. She intended to do as she had been born and trained to do, to be a lord her father could be proud of. She knew that even though the boy was but a hanyou, he was the true heir being the Tashio's only son. She could never think to betray her secret now. The western lands deserved a full youkai as leader. They would not accept a half breed and her father's territory would erupt in war. Then it would be as her mother had always said, Sesshoumaru's fault for being nothing more than a weak, insignificant girl.

 

She rocked the child in her arms, sniffing his scent and smiled at him. It was a genuinely happy smile, one that had not adorned her face in many years. “For tonight we will put that aside, ne?” she asked the boy, watching as his eyes began to get heavy. She continued to cuddle and rock the infant until he was fast asleep, his breath heavy and warm. She rose carefully just as the sun was rising and placed him back in his crib gently. “Goodbye, little brother,” she sighed sadly, leaning in and giving his small cheek a light kiss. She then turned and left the way she had come, no one ever knowing she had been there.