InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Setting Them Straight ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

I'm so so so so so so so so so so so HYPER!!!!! I can't wait to get through some of the less interesting parts of the story and start writing the fluffy funny yay hooray-ish parts!!! SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO HYPER!!!!!

Sham es muy loca!!!

Private joke, people…

Yeah, this story has big plans in the fluff department! I have like this whole fluff archive thing going! *Bounces in chair* SO hyper!

Enjoy!!!

~*~

"It was PANDELIRIUM!!!" Kitty said in a redneck accent while doing exaggerated hand gestures and waving her arms. She was telling Kaede all about the battle with the chameleon demon. Meanwhile, Inuyasha was up in a tree outside, Kagome was somewhere out there as well, and Sango, Miroku, Shio and Shippo were in the hut with Kitty and Kaede.

(For those of you who don't know, pandelirium is a cross between pandemonium and delirium. And no, it isn't a real word.)

"That there demon jus' didn't know what he had comin', no sir-y. He was a purty good opponunt, though. I ain't never see a demon 'at could whip a tail like 'at. But luck'ly, I was quick 'nuff t' switch t' muh demon form, an' we r-u-n-n-o-f-t from 'at spot faster thun a greased-up swine with an itch he coul'n scratch."

Kaede just smiled and nodded… so did pretty much everyone else. Kitty was nice and all… but sometimes she was just weird.

But at least Shippo found the parts that he could actually understand amusing.

"Hey, Kitty?" Kagome said, coming into the hut.

"Yeah?"

Kagome walked up to her and looked very secretive about something, and she kept glancing at the doorway nervously. "I need to go back to our time…" she whispered. "…Can you get me to the well without Inuyasha knowing?"

Kitty beamed, glad that she could have something to help with and be useful. "Of course I can! I need to go back too anyway, so why not?" she said as she walked around Kagome and looked out to see where Inuyasha was. "Okay, climb on my back and I can get you over there in no time."

"Thanks!"

"No problem!" ^_^

"When are you coming back?" Shippo asked.

Kagome pondered. "Hmm… sometime later today. I just need to get some notes from one of my friends so that I can study for a test."

"M'kay! Will you bring something back for me?" ^___^

Kagome laughed and patted his head. "Sure." Then she climbed onto Kitty's back.

"Okay, hold on," she warned.

Kitty strolled out into the open pathway, and started down it with a very wobbly pace, making noises like an airplane and spinning around a few times, just for good measure. She also made it a point to be very LOUD.

"VROOM!!!"

"Kitty, what are you doing?" Kagome asked, noticing that Inuyasha happened to hear Kitty, as hard as that may be to believe.

"Just trust me! VROOOOOM! Brrrriiiingdingding! D-d-ding, ding, bang! ! EEEEEEUUURRRMMMMM!" Kitty continued to go down the path in that manner, and she made Kagome think several times that they would fall over with all of the swerving she was doing from one side of the path do the other.

Miraculously, they made it to the well without interruption from Inuyasha. Once they hopped in, got back to their own time and were walking out of the well house, Kagome questioned why Inuyasha didn't stop them, when he clearly knew they were there.

"Well, if you were trying to go back home, he would have been on the alert for quiet noises. And no offence, but since I was so loud and obvious, he wasn't quick enough to see what was right in front of him, being too busy with trying to focus on any sounds that might indicate an attempted *quiet* and *stealthy* escape."

Actually, that was pretty darn clever.

So Kagome went into the house to call up one of her friends, since they would be home from school by that time, and was rewarded with a bombardment of questions about her sudden case of chronic indigestion.

Meanwhile, Kitty goes to the motor home and is greeted my Hitomi and Saburo. They tell her that they've enrolled her in Kagome's school, and that they hadn't managed to find just a plot of land, but some property that already had a house to boot, and it was impossibly cheap, too, for a house that was-*gasp!*-right near a shrine! Yes, they bought a neighboring house to the shrine... But we won't get into how that happened or why it was so inexpensive, because the author just doesn't feel like giving an explanation besides 'because I said so, and you just need to accept it'.

So they got a house, but the only catch was: it was short one room. But that was okay, since they had the motor home, and they figured that Kitty was responsible enough to have that as a room instead. It was like a pool house, just more separate… they could deal with that… so long as Kitty was good about it- which, of course, she would be.

So Kagome finished clearing up her medical history with Eri, and agreed to meet at WacDnald's. And what a coincidence, Kitty was going there to apply for a job! So they took the bus there together after Kitty mixed up a potion for herself to look human.

~*~

"Name: Kitty *insert last name here*… age: 18… sex: no thank you- oh! Nope, that'd be female," Kitty said as she filed out a job application. She and Kagome were sitting in a booth while Kitty did that and Kagome waited for Eri.

When Eri did finally come, she had brought Ayumi and Yuka with her. That was forgivable, though… but ONLY because they didn't bring Hojo too, and Kitty could meet them and have somebody when she got to school… whenever she went for her first day.

"So you're from America and your foster dad works for Sony, and you're staying here while he works on a new project?" Yuka asked.

"That's right! But enough about me, tell me what school's like where I'll be going," Kitty said, instantly getting along with Kagome's three friends. Is it impossible for her to make an enemy?

Eri smirked and immediately started talking about how she and the other two were trying to hook up Kagome with Hojo before anyone else could say anything. Kagome sweat-dropped heavily in the background. So it seemed that Kitty had a new mission: Get Hojo off of Kagome's back! But for now, she's start by steering the conversation away from the guy that obviously annoyed Kagome every time he was brought up.

"Yeah, that's great and all, but what are the teachers like? What are the classes? When's lunch? I can worry about the social pyramid of the school later."

So they (and Kagome, since they were being normal girls who weren't driven completely by estrogen anymore) filled her in on school life in Tokyo.

Later on, Kagome decided that it was time to go back to the feudal era and face Inuyasha's wrath. They said their good-byes, and they all left.

When they got back to the shrine, Kagome went through the well, but Kitty stayed behind because Mrs. H. asked her to baby-sit Souta while she went shopping. Kagome and Kitty made plans for Kitty to go to the feudal era afterwards though, and she would stay there until Sunday (which was when she was told to call and find out if she got that job).

~*~

MEANWHILE!!!

Not long after Kagome and Kitty left, the other members of the group began to disperse as well. Sango was having issues with being the only woman around for Miroku to… relieve his stress upon, so she went for a walk. Miroku decided to stalk her in case she just so happened to take a bath… but he was only looking out for her while she was vulnerable, honest! The lech… Kaede had gone to the village to treat some ill children, and Shippo was gnawing on Inuyasha's head- no, wait… he just got punted all the way into the village with Kaede.

So, his entertainment having dwindled down to nothing, Shio went outside to bug Inuyasha.

…No, that wasn't what he intended to do, but let's face it: No matter what anybody does and no matter how they do it, it's gonna bug Inuyasha. Thus, Shio went outside to bug Inuyasha… so stop trying to sugar-coat it.

Once he picked out which tree his hanyou friend was in, Shio jumped up and landed across from Inuyasha on the same branch.

"Hey."

"Hey."

And they're off! Get ready, folks, because judging by the start of this conversation, this is going to be one WILD session of manly bonding (note the sarcasm)!

"So…" Shio began. "Priestman told me about that bet he has going. My money's on next June."

Inuyasha just grunted, because he didn't feel the need to verbally express the fact (or what he thought was a fact) that Shio was going to lose some money.

Silence.

…And, queue the boredom. Again. Shio decided to look for entertainment elsewhere.

And in the meantime, Inuyasha entertained himself with his thoughts.

Come to think of it, that bet wasn't so preposterous. They WERE taking an awfully long time to admit that they love each other… but there was a good reason for that.

Inuyasha just didn't know if he loved her or not.

Sure, he cared about her, he missed her when she was gone (though nobody would ever hear that from him), and he would probably go insane with loneliness if she were to never return from her time, but there was just that small matter of…

Kikyo.

*Yes, as much as I, the authoress, hate that wretched, horrid, and all around infuriating zombie (who is dead in this fic because Naraku killed her in episode 124, and I like it that way), I still have to examine the fact that Inuyasha promised to go to hell with her. Otherwise, there would just be one more thing to add to my long, growing list of plot holes.*

Inuyasha promised her that he would go to hell with her… but did he really want to now? He had a reason to live, and even after he got the shikon jewel, he had plans. He didn't know exactly what they were at the moment, but he knew that they would involve Kagome. Even if it turned out that he didn't love her, he still had to have her in his life somehow. It didn't matter, just as long as she was there. Because… in all honesty… things were just better when she was there. And Inuyasha, being the greedy hanyou that he is, would do as much as he wasn't too lazy to do to make his life better. After all, he lived most of his life alone in the woods.

Inuyasha didn't know how long he sat up there thinking, but eventually, he smelled Kagome through the mouth of the well. He didn't even notice that his irritated foot-tapping ceased the moment her scent hit his nose.

But still, she HAD somehow managed to sneak back to her time without him knowing. Though, he might as well go see if she has a gigantic bag for him to carry up…

He landed at the bottom of the well and saw that Kagome was only carrying a miniscule pile of paper, which wasn't even worthy of a trip to her own time that lasted THAT long, in his opinion. The nerve of her!

"Inuyasha… I'm sorry, but I needed some notes so that I could study!"

He looked at her with an unreadable expression, and then said, "You know, I probably would have let you go if you just asked. We DID just get another shikon shard, so there wasn't exactly anything for you to be doing here."

Kagome stared at him for a lengthy while, simultaneously ranting to herself in her head. 'I should have thought of that… I REALLY should have thought of that… I mean… I could have just walked to the well like a normal person, but instead I had to go and make myself and Kitty look like fools! That was embarrassing, too… I really thought it was worth it…'

Inuyasha gave a short, amused snort. "I supposed that that 'piggy-back' ride, or whatever you call it that Kitty gave you is enough punishment for going home behind my back, though… so I'll let it go- this time," Inuyasha said to her as he picked her up, jumped out of the well, and set her gently on the ground.

Well… there goes all of Inuyasha's monthly allotted time of being decent.

Inuyasha felt his heart speed up when Kagome gave him a genuinely thankful and relieved smile. "Thanks, Inuyasha."

~*~

"Just… a little… farther," Kitty said as she steered her microblast car onto the bouncy platform that would fling her up into the air so that she could get some health. But then… out of nowhere… Souta's calypso was dropped from the transporting blimp thing and shot her once! Then she DIED, leaving her with only one more life!

"NO!!!!!" she screamed in anguish. Souta then proceeded to gloat, but when he saw that Kitty was screaming because the water on the stove was boiling over and had jumped up to take care of it, he stopped and wandered into the kitchen after her.

"What are you cooking?"

"It's a surprise," she said in a mysterious voice, even as she pointedly waved a box of macaroni & cheese around in the air. Then she opened it and dumped the macaroni into the boiling water.

Souta laughed at her antics. "Should I turn off the game, then?"

Kitty looked at him, completely mortified. "Are you INSANE?! That's the farthest I've ever gotten in Twisted Metal 4! Just turn the TV off and we can get back to it after dinner."

"But we're only on the second level…"

"And I worked my butt off to even SURVIVE this long! And why'd you go and kill me, huh? What gives?"

"I saw movement and didn't stop to think that it might not have been Moon Buggy. Sorry…"

"That's all right," Kitty said, waving a hand in the air in a forgiving gesture. "So anyway, when do you think your mom will be back? She left at three and has been gone for two hours… hey, when she said 'shopping', did she mean grocery shopping, or leisure shopping?"

"Probably both," he said with a shrug. "And by the looks of things, I'd say she ran into a friend while she was out… so we might be looking at a few more hours…"

Kitty would have laughed at his exaggerated analysis, had she not almost believed him.

So they ate dinner, played their game for a bit more (stopping when Kitty died instantly after beginning the next level), and it wasn't really as long as they thought before Mrs. H. got home. Then, after Kitty refused to take payment for having done nothing but improve upon her hand-eye coordination and pig out on cheesy noodles, they said their farewells and Kitty went on her way to the feudal era.

~*~

When Kitty got there, she and everyone else decided that they were in a wistful mood (which was rare or uncommon, for some of them), so they went for a walk.

But then Shippo whined that he was bored with just walking, so they started playing a game.

It was a game that they played in one of the episodes… I don't know which number… but anyway, this is how it went:

There were two teams: Kagome, Inuyasha, Kitty, and Shippo, and Sango, Miroku, Shio, and Kirara.

The teams would play rock, paper, scissor against each other, only they would use Hiraikotsu, Tessaiga, and Shakujou (Miroku's staff… I'm not quite sure if that's really one of the things, though… I'm not really sure about half of the stuff actually, so I'll just improvise… if you know the way things really went, then good for you, you get to hang it over my head know what's really going on).

Again, I'm not positive about it, but I think that Tessaiga beat Shakujou, Shakujou beat Hiraikotsu, and Hiraikotsu beat Tessaiga.

Depending on who won, their team would take a certain amount of steps forward. The number of steps depended on what the person won with. If they won with Tessaiga, they would take three steps, since Tessaiga has three syllables. Shakujou would be three steps as well… but Hiraikotsu would be four, even though it only has three syllables but it has that 'u' at the end… just go with it!

The goal of the game was to just stay in the lead. Kagome, Inuyasha, Shippo and Kitty were in the lead for most of the game- in fact, they were in the lead for so long that they were about 100 meters ahead of the others. The distance plus the fact that they were on a hill and the path had made a turn (then there's the whole really thick foliage thing…) made it difficult to see or hear either group. They were shouting out what each of them played each round, when there was suddenly some confusion: the team with Sango, Miroku, Shio, and Kirara was silent during a play.

The leading team called out to the others, but to no avail. They were about to go investigate when they saw Miroku approaching, huffing and puffing up the hill and gasping for breath, as if exerting all of his strength to carry him to them as fast as possible.

"Watch out! He's coming…! *huff* Lady Kagome, Inuyasha, go! *puff*"

"What are you going on about, monk?!" Inuyasha asked, shouting only because they still weren't really very close to each other.

"It's Ko- *choking gasp* I can sense him… approaching us now! It's Ko-" Miroku cut himself off when a rumbling could be heard off in the distance.

He stopped and stood where he was to catch his breath, now that the supposed danger was getting closer and closer, and he took on a solemn look, having apparently failed to warn his comrades of the approaching nuisance soon enough.

Back with the leading team, Inuyasha was now looking livid. Their guest had shown himself, and was now rounding on Kagome, his intentions obvious. This time, like every other, there was no small-talk or preliminary taunts before the battle that was sure to come simply because he was there; it was just strait to the point with him.

Having reached Kagome, Kouga took her hands in his own, the dust from his whirl-wind clearing in the background. "Oi, Kagome! How have you been?"

Kagome laughed nervously. "Uh… good, Kouga-kun. I'm fine."

Kouga noticed her nervousness and passed it off as Inuyasha's fault. "Has dog-turd been bothering you?"

'This is Kouga? He's so… arrogant… and presumptuous. Just as Mrs. H. told me ^_^! Well, in any case, it looks like I have yet another mission,' Kitty thought to herself as she mentally planned her attack strategy.

"No, Kouga, Inuyasha isn't any trouble…" Kagome replied. She could hear Inuyasha growling at the wolf prince, just like every other time when Kouga came to tick him off.

Kouga looked at Inuyasha like he stunk something awful. "Well maybe not for you…" he said under his breath. "Hey, dog-turd! Nice of you to protect my woman while I'm not here," he said just to get at the hanyou's nerves… well, maybe he also did it to re-instate that Kagome was HIS woman.

Sango, Shio, Miroku and Kirara all joined the rest of the group.

Inuyasha stomped up to Kouga and got into an offensive stance. "If you call her your woman ONE more time, I'm gonna rip your heart out through your throat so fast that you'll be able to see it beat in my hand before you die!"

"Really, dog-turd, if that scared me, I wouldn't come to see MY WOMAN as often as I do," Kouga said, looking quite aloof and bored as he did so.

'I swear, they're acting like children,' Kitty thought. Then she laughed- this was nothing in comparison to what she was planning.

Inuyasha drew Tessaiga- after all, they ended up fighting every time, so why not save a few minutes and just get right to the butt-whooping? "Alright, you stupid wimpy-wolf, you asked for it!"

"Inuyasha," Kitty said in a sort of whiny voice, and Kouga noticed her for the first time. Every one else looked at her as well and saw that she wore an expression that looked dissatisfied, ashamed, and disgusted all at the same time.

"What?"

"...Wimpy wolf? That's not insulting at all." 'Show time!'

Kouga smirked at how very right she was and opened his mouth to say something, but Kitty cut him off before he could continue.

"If I were you, I'd call him something more along the lines of an unshaven beef-witted vermin."

This time, it was Inuyasha's turn to grin haughtily while Kouga scowled at Kitty. "And who are you?"

"Well I'm certainly not an unmuzzled hedge-pig, if you were thinking that I look anything remotely like what you just barely pass as," she said as she stuck her nose in the air and crossed her arms.

'Two can play at that game,' Kouga thought. "What kind of a cow do you think you are, talking to me that way?"

Kitty looked utterly insulted, as if he just said the most disturbing your-mamma joke to her, who was mamma-less. "Are you calling me FAT?!"

"No, I'm just commenting on the similarities between your mental capacities."

"That's pretty low, coming from someone who just called Inuyasha 'dog-turd' three times because you can't be bothered to take a few seconds and come up with a CLEVER insult for him."

"I just don't feel that he deserves the time and effort needed to come up with another one." Kouga regretted that the instant it left his mouth. He basically just insulted himself for her.

"Oh, you're right; I should have known that already. Only someone as impenetrable as you would need time and effort to insult such an easy target."

Inuyasha bristled.

Kouga took a few seconds to retaliate. "Well at least my insults don't sound like I paid some Shakespearean reject to right some down for me to memorize because I have nothing productive to do with my time!"

"You're right. You DON'T have anything productive to do with your time."

"Wha- hey, I didn't say that!"

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't!"

"You did."

"I didn't!"

"Did."

"Didn't!!!"

Everyone was watching them back and forth like it was a tennis match. Shippo crunched on some popcorn that he found in Kagome's backpack.

"Everyone here heard you say it."

"But that's taking it out of context!"

"You still said it."

Kouga huffed with frustration. "Well whatever. I don't feel like arguing with a flea-bitten feline about what her deranged mind thought it heard."

"We weren't arguing," Kitty said, ignoring the rest of his comment.

"Yes we were."

"No we weren't."

"We were."

"Weren't."

"Yes, we were arguing then, and we're arguing now!"

"No we weren't, and no we aren't. An argument isn't just contradiction." (I don't own Monty Python…)

Kouga looked back on all of the most intelligent arguments he'd ever had, and came to a conclusion. "Yes it is."

"No, an argument is a course of connected statements intended to demonstrate a truth or falsehood. It isn't just saying 'yes it is' and 'no it isn't'."

"Yes it is!"

"No it isn't!"

Too bad for Kouga that he didn't catch that one.

Everyone else did though, and they all laughed. Inuyasha stole some popcorn from Shippo while he was distracted.

Kitty waited for Kouga to say something.

…

"It's your turn, you know."

"Oh, we're taking turns?"

"Well I thought we already established that. Didn't you notice the pattern going? You spoke after I spoke every time."

"You… you… who ARE you, anyway?!"

"I already told you."

"No you didn't!"

"Yes I did."

"No you didn't!"

"Oh not this again…"

"Well we only got into that because you're being so difficult!"

"You know what? Why are you here?"

Kouga was silent. Just then, Hakkaku and Ginta FINALLY caught up with Kouga. They looked like they would cry for joy over finally setting eye upon their pack leader after god knows how long of being too far behind.

"I originally came here to see Kagome, but-" Kouga stopped when he noticed that Kitty wasn't listening to him at all. Instead, she was gazing wistfully at the sky as if he didn't even exist. "GOD! You're just so irritating! You know what? You're worse than dog-turd!" Kouga shouted as he turned around and finally left. Hakkaku and Ginta looked like they would cry again, but this time because they weren't looking forward to running some more at all.

"That's number four!" Kitty yelled at his retreating figure. Kouga's silhouette against the setting sun could be seen performing a massive face-fault before getting up and running some more.

Kitty was facing the way Kouga had gone, and her back was facing everyone. They all watched her and noticed that her shoulders started to shake. She bent her head forward and they heard strangled sounds coming from her like she was really ticked off or something.

But then she turned around and saw them all watching, and she lost it.

Rolling around on the ground and clutching her sides in hysterical laughter, she somehow managed to get out the words, "I haven't had… such a good argument… in three years!" And she wasn't exaggerating.

Kagome was thinking how Kouga might not come back for a while, and if that was what Kitty meant to do. Inuyasha was thinking that Kouga wouldn't come back for a while, and wondering if he should share some ramen with everyone to celebrate. Shippo was wondering if Kagome had more popcorn. Kirara was wondering what just happened. Sango was wondering if Kitty could give her some tips on how to drive off lecherous and very persistent monks. Miroku was wondering if Sango would notice if he groped her while her mind was occupied. Shio's thoughts were censored.

~*~

Good times.