InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Settle the Score ❯ Fuel my Fire ( Chapter 9 )

Author rantings :
I guess the last chapter had a really evil cliffhanger, but what fun is writing if I can't torture my readers a bit? :)

This chapter is a bit darker than the rest, I don't know if it can be called angst. Maybe, I guess it also depends on the reader. The whole ordeal turned out to be longer than I thought, so I think I got everything intense enough. It was really hard to decide between "Freak on a Leash" and "Fuel my Fire" as title for this chapter. Both songs fit almost perfectly...

Disclaimer : I'm not responsible for any physical or psychical diseases developed while reading this fic.

Special thanks to :

Miss Alandrem, for doing the editing of the new chapter again. I hope I'm not stealing too much time from your "Present Time" :) Your fans might try to kill me...

"Osuwari! HAHAHAAHAA! Like the DOG you are!"

Yeah, my layers are thick,
and I got a bad attitude.
Yeah, that knife in my back
has fingerprints that belong to you.Fuel my Fire

When the spell lost its effect, Inuyasha got up. He had clenched his fists that hard that his nails dug deep into the flesh of his palm, blood trickling down his knuckles. Kagome went between him and the door, intent on talking with him. He turned around and pushed her to the side, leaving a crimson handprint on her school uniform and almost knocking her over, and exited without a single look back.

"How's the whore, Inuyasha?" Eiji shouted after him. "Burning with rage?"

Kagome ran outside, but Inuyasha had already vanished. Shippou went after her. ´Would have been better if we went training´, he thought wistfully. Catching the hanyou's scent, he said, "I'll look for him, Kagome." With that he took off, he had to be quick if he didn't want to lose the track. Inuyasha left almost no traces behind if he wanted to.

The fox child entered the forest in his pursuit, already fearing to lose the hanyou, but he seemed to have headed straight into one direction, without any turns, what made it much easier for Shippou to follow. He wondered what had exactly happened in the hut. The two seemed to have known each other, although Kagome hadn't recognized this Eiji. She had been with Inuyasha the whole time, so maybe the hanyou did know the old man from the time before he was pinned to the Goshinboku.

Either way, they didn't seem to like each other's guts. Kagome had seemed to be the only one able to stop Inuyasha from strangling the old man, and the hanyou had definitely not been happy about the sit. The fox was angry at Inuyasha, he had pushed Kagome out of the way almost violently without second thought, just for a little sit.

Shippou arrived at the bank of a river, also losing Inuyasha's scent. He went to the shore, trying to catch the hanyou's scent again. He put a toe into the water, immediately removing it. The water was freezing cold, like rivers were in the spring.

He looked to the left and to the right, finally finding the hanyou swimming against the river. Shippou was surprised, this was the first time he saw the hanyou swimming, he had already come to the conclusion that the dog demon was water shy. He ran after him until he caught up. "What are you doing here, Inuyasha?" Shippou asked as calm as he could, though he couldn't keep the whining out of his voice.

Inuyasha pointed at his haori, he was swimming within all his clothes. "Washing." The dog demon continued to 'clean' his jacket, leaving the fox youkai standing at the shore.

Shippou started to shout at the hanyou. "What were you thinking! How could you push Kagome around. You jerk, you could have hurt her!" He continued to rant for a while, until he noticed that Inuyasha couldn't hear him, because the hanyou had turned around and was now floating on his back, his ears under water. Shippou resigned himself to waiting. He had almost counted on having to flee after his insults, instead the hanyou just ignored him; it was sickening to see Inuyasha that impassive and uncaring.

When the kid started to rant at him, Inuyasha turned onto his back, submerging his ears under the water. The sky above him was the fucking nicest blue he had ever seen. He closed his eyes, just letting himself drift with the water, blind and deaf to the world. It was a comfort he never allowed himself, but right now he didn't care. All he could think about was the humiliation he had endured.

The nerve of her! Using the fucking prayer beads right in front of Eiji! Reducing him to a helpless fool in front of the only one from his village he had always hoped to meet once more.

Especially in his forest he had often asked himself what he would do if he found Eiji somewhere, imagining how he would make him suffer, repay the bastard, beat the shit out of him, if not for his peace, then for his mother's. Sometimes he had left him alive, most times not. He hadn't even believed his luck when he realized it was really Eiji, when Kagome turned the moment of his triumph to the most embarrassing moment in his life.

He felt like scum. The filthy half breed his brother had always told him he was. This ordeal was something everyone would bring into connection with his name. You know Inuyasha? The useless hanyou who is eating dirt on a daily basis? Oh, that Inuyasha! Isn't he the whipping boy of a fifteen year old girl? Yeah, exactly that one. Did you hear, last time she lightened the mood of an old man by letting him kick the freak like a dog.

He hated the prayer beads, they allowed the bitch to render him completely helpless, offering him to the mercy of everyone around. Damn Kagome. Damn Eiji. Damn everyone. How could she? He could accept being sat for behaving bad, he could deal with being sat without knowing why, but he couldn't deal with being sat for public exhilaration. The laughter of Eiji still rung in his ears. He felt like he would burst, from hate, from shame, from helplessness.

"Dammit!" he shouted. Who did the backstabbing bitch think she was? She had absolutely no right to interfere. That was something between him and that old asshole. Who was she to command him? What right did she have to meddle in his affairs? He would show her that he did not give a shit about what she told him to do. He would make the old bastard suffer, at least this shithead wouldn't live to tell this tale. He might have let the old man live before, would just have scared him a bit, but now the son of a bitch would fucking die. ´How's the whore? Burning with rage?´ Something in him snapped.

"Dammit!" Shippou heard Inuyasha suddenly shout, feeling an immense wave of youki emitting from the hanyou. The dog demon swam for the shore immediately thereafter. Shippou prepared for another volley of insults, but stopped when he saw the dog demon's face. It was unexpectedly calm, but there was an insane gleam in his eyes. When the dog hanyou stomped out of the water, Shippou was sure that Inuyasha looked more demonic than any full demon he had ever seen before. He looked at the hanyou's side, seeing that Tetsusaiga was there. "Inuyasha?" he asked shakily, frozen in place, standing because of adrenaline alone.

The hanyou shook himself, water droplets flying in every direction. Now that the dog demon's face was covered by his hair after his version of drying it, Shippou could understand why Inuyasha didn't want other people to watch him bath. He looked a bit like a drowned dog, the hair clinging to the clothing. Actually the wet fire rat fur made a good part of the effect, as the usually bulky clothes clung to his body, the hair plastered all over. The hanyou pushed the hair out of his face, the deadly grimace appearing again, nullifying any laughable look he might have had for a second.

Inuyasha took off his haori and wrung it, because of his strength and also the durability of the fire rat fur to endure it he managed to get most water out, and after doing the same with his hakama he started to put everything on again. Shippou just stood there, being completely ignored by a much too calm hanyou, and a nude one at that. The fox didn't know what was going on, usually Inuyasha seemed rather shy in that aspect, but now he was just methodically drying himself, not bothering with one useless movement or a hint of shame.

When Inuyasha was finished he shook himself again, then turned towards Shippou after getting most of the water out of his hair. He gave the youkai brat an angered look for still being there. The kid seemed ready to bolt, but stood his ground. "What is it?" Inuyasha asked annoyed.

The fox let out a sigh of relief. Shippou was sure to see the hint of stripes fading away on the hanyou's face, but Inuyasha hadn't freaked out, at least not yet. Although the dog demon didn't look as scary as before, even with the fading stripes, after the killer look the hanyou had spared him, Shippou hadn't been too sure if it wasn't his last minute on earth.

The fox was amazed with himself for standing still, he hadn't fled because he hadn't wanted to wake the hunting instinct. When the youkai blood took over, Inuyasha acted almost on pure instinct alone. But the hanyou still seemed to be in his right mind. "Do you feel okay?" the fox asked, hoping to get a clue what was going on in the dog demon's head.

"No, I don't," Inuyasha answered curtly, turning to walk back to the village.

Shippou plucked up his courage and jumped on the hanyou's shoulder, his concern for the miko greater than his fear. "Leave Kagome alone!" the fox wailed. The only answer he got was a fist that batted him off the shoulder.

All the time Inuyasha continued his steady march, already leaving the forest, the village in sight. Out of desperation Shippou clung to the hanyou's feet, trying to stop the dog demon. He ignored the freezing temperature of Inuyasha's clothes. The hanyou simply ignored the burden, dragging along the youkai child with every step.

"Inuyasha, calm down!" Shippou cried, knowing he had no chance to stop the hanyou by force. The people of the village went out of their way, some looking frightened, some curious or even amused. The hanyou just ignored them and walked back towards Eiji's hut.

Inuyasha heard Kagome long before he reached her. When he turned around the last corner she finally came into sight, she was discussing with Miroku and Sango, apparently about what had just happened. She was standing with her back turned towards him, looking into the concerned hut. He sniffed and caught the scent of his prey, growling deep at the disgusting smell and quickening his steps.

That growl made the distracted group aware of Inuyasha. Kagome turned around, still having a confused look on her face. When she saw Inuyasha dragging along Shippou she had to stifle a laugh, but when she caught sight of his expression, her smile quickly froze on her face.

"Inuyasha," she gasped, shocked. The expression on his face was ice-cold, and his eyes were shining with murderous rage. Never before had she seen the hanyou looking so scary, he looked like he had escaped one of her nightmares.

Miroku was the first one to react, stepping defensively in front of the girls.

Inuyasha didn't slow down. "Out of my way, Miroku!" he growled, directing his gaze at the monk. Miroku forced down the urge to step aside, keeping his cool demeanor. "State your business."

"It doesn't concern you, monk," Inuyasha answered. He had reached Miroku by now and stopped in front of him. Shippou made a relieved sigh, let go of the hanyou and ran behind Miroku, hiding behind the monk who seemed to be able to stop Inuyasha.

Miroku didn't step out of the hanyou's path, making it clear he wouldn't let the dog demon proceed. "Everything that concerns my friends, concerns me," he answered as calm as always.

"It doesn't concern any of you," Inuyasha gritted out. "Let me pass, Miroku." If Kagome wasn't here, he wouldn't have stopped, but he didn't want to risk another 'Osuwari'. He calculated his chances to jump the remaining distance, but the bitch would sit him before he could make it into the hut.

Finally also Kagome got a grip of herself. "Inuyasha, what is going on here?" she asked with a shaky voice, stepping beside Miroku. She looked like she couldn't take much more, seeing Inuyasha like that had shocked her deep. She was used to his eternal scowl of annoyance, but this look was the worst she had ever seen. All this hate for a helpless old man didn't seem right to her, it was clear that Inuyasha would kill that Eiji if they let him pass now.

Inuyasha looked at Kagome, his cold anger slightly abating when he saw the bloody handprint on her blouse, but the tactical part of his mind still considered her as the greatest hindrance of the three humans in front of him. "Get out of my way, Kagome. I said this doesn't concern you," he tried to reason with her.

Eiji chose this moment to step out of his hut. "Jo, bastard! Osuwari!" He looked surprised when Inuyasha didn't fall to the ground as before.

Inuyasha growled and crouched slightly, flexing his claws, looking ready to rip the man to pieces. Miroku noticed that the hanyou's eyes had just taken on a trifle of red, and the growl was becoming deeper, angrier. The monk wasn't sure if standing in the way was a good idea, but Sango was behind him, and he wouldn't let her get hurt.

To his dismay, Sango didn't seem to want protection, as she moved to his other side, leaving Miroku standing between her and Kagome. She pulled out her katana, and when Miroku did the same, she was sad at the thought that the first common enemy to use the two new blades against would be Inuyasha. But whatever had happened between the hanyou and the old man in the past, she couldn't let him kill Eiji. He was the only witness able to help her find the murderer of her great grandfather, as useless as he might seem. She guessed that Kagome didn't sit the hanyou because she wanted to talk him out of it.

Kirara jumped off the youkai hunter's shoulder, changing into her battle form, taking her place on the other side of Sango. She eyed the hanyou warily, he didn't look too trustworthy, at the moment she wouldn't train the Kaze no Kizu with him.

The miko was worried, although Inuyasha had Tetsusaiga at his side, he still was on the brink of transforming. ´Maybe he has to actually hold it?´ Kagome tried to trick the hanyou, "If you want to kill him, you'll have to do it with Tetsusaiga."

Inuyasha eyed her warily, but thought he would do her that favor - as weird as it seemed to him - if she wouldn't stand against him any longer. He gripped the hilt and pulled the sword out.

"There. Now let me pass!"

Eiji had enough sense of self-preservation to bite back the insult on his tongue. A half demon armed with a sword that had its own name, set on killing him, was enough to silence even him. The monk and his two girls didn't look like they would be able to stop the hanyou.

Kagome saw Inuyasha pulling Tetsusaiga out of its sheath, holding it untransformed in his hand. His eyes turn back to normal, but the stripes in his face didn't fade completely, and he still looked set on killing. ´Dammit,´ she thought, not noticing she was imitating Inuyasha's swearing, ´that's not how I planned it.´

This matter had to be settled there and then, and at the best without a sit. She couldn't watch the hanyou all the time, if he really wanted to kill the old man, he would find a way to do so. She wondered for the first time what the range of her spell was. "No, Inuyasha. Killing him is wrong. Whatever happened between you in the past, he's only an old man now."

"That doesn't change anything," the hanyou told her. "I am getting my revenge!"

"Revenge for what?" the miko asked desperately. "I don't understand!"

"I'll say it one last time. This doesn't concern you." Inuyasha took one step forward. "You will have to chose, Eiji or me."

"I am on your side!" Kagome shouted. She was at the edge of crying. How could Inuyasha doubt her? She just wanted to stop him from doing something he regretted later. "You know damn well that I am on your side!"

"Then get the fuck out of my way!" Inuyasha barked at her. Even his friends were turning against him. Well, he should have known, in the end it was always only him. He reevaluated his chances for reaching Eiji, now that the old man was outside he would reach him before Kagome could...

"Inuyasha, please!" Kagome interrupted his thoughts. He was mortified. She would beg for that bastard's life?

"This is unlike you." Kagome whispered almost inaudibly. She knew that, deep inside, Inuyasha was a good, caring person. "Please, stop this." She walked towards him, closing the distance between them. "If you kill him, you won't feel better. You are no murderer." The first tears started to run down her cheeks, she finally couldn't hold them back any longer, but she kept walking until she reached Inuyasha and flung her arms around his chest, not caring that his haori was still cold.

Inuyasha discarded his battle plans when he saw Kagome cry, smelled the salty odor of her tears. He looked from her to Miroku and Sango, who were beginning to relax. His arms were still stiff beside him, his right hand holding Tetsusaiga. Was that what upset Kagome? ´She doesn't want me to kill?´ She was worrying for him, not for Eiji?

Almost all his life, no one had been concerned with his peace of mind. Hell, even he himself was no longer thinking of it. But there she was, crying against his chest, and right then he just wanted to hug her back, comforting her and stop the tears. He let go of Tetsusaiga to have his hands free, the sword hit the ground with a clash.

"Hehehe, isn't that sweet? I guess two freaks found each other," Eiji mocked when the hanyou was just about to hug Kagome back.

That sent Inuyasha ballistic, he broke Kagome's grip around him and launched himself at the annoying asshole. Miroku and Sango both reacted fast, but he simply jumped over them, they wouldn't be able to stop him, and he would reach the bastard long before Kagome completed her spell. He had planned his jump to get down directly behind Eiji, and with a loud thump he landed just there.

Eiji seemed to realize that his last comment hadn't been too sly, at least after the hanyou's hand closed around his neck again, this time luckily from behind, not squeezing shut his throat.

"She is no freak," Inuyasha growled at Eiji, pushing him closer with the hand behind the neck. He walked back to the stunned miko, taking the old man with him. He hated that Eiji was completely baldheaded, he would have rather dragged him there by the hair. The hanyou slowed his steps slightly when he passed Miroku and Sango, he wasn't sure if they would attack him, especially the girl, who seemed to be afraid for her witness. When he finally reached Kagome, he threw Eiji before her feet. "You owe your worthless life to Kagome, and you will thank her accordingly."

Kagome looked down at the old man lying before her, stunned. She had been taken by surprise when the hanyou had let go of her and went after Eiji, so she was relieved that Inuyasha hadn't killed the old man. Eiji looked up at her, fear written clearly all over his face. "Arigatou, Kagome-san," he brought out at last. Kagome felt uneasy, she didn't approve with threatening people, especially when this people were lying at her feet and thanking her. "Uh, please get up," she told the old man, who stood up after that.

Inuyasha contemplated about the honorific. ´He should have used sama,´ he thought, but now that Eiji had already stood up it was too late anyway. Kagome didn't look like she had liked the episode, but he had wanted to make clear to Eiji whom he owed his life. And making the old man eat dirt like himself, in front of everyone, and even making him thank the miko for it, also calmed his mind. He had let Eiji live of his own free will, not because Kagome wanted him to. He had made clear that he wasn't to be ordered around, but also that he could be reasoned with.

"Might we know where you know each other from?" Miroku broke the silence. The old man wanted to answer, but Inuyasha was faster. "We had a brief encounter once."

Eiji agreed because of the look the hanyou gave him, promising much pain should he tell anything. "Uh, right. Brief encounter, hehehe."

Inuyasha was going to hate that laugh, but he guessed it wouldn't be him who would have to hear it all day. He actually pitied the inhabitants of the village a bit, for having to put up with a pain in the ass like Eiji. The old man finally vanished into his hut, leaving the group standing on the street.

"Inuyasha, what was that all about?" Kagome asked. The hanyou was looking after the old man, seemingly lost in thought, but at least he looked ... calmed down again. She thought that he owed them more of an explanation than 'Brief encounter'.

Inuyasha shrugged. "My business here is finished." He turned and walked back, towards the house of Toshiaki.

Kagome got angry at that. She calmed him down, hadn't even sat him, and he did his almighty act again. ´But not this time, not with me.´ It looked like it was time to leave the rest of her friends out of the picture again, at least for now. "Please, leave us alone for a while. I have to talk to Inuyasha in private." With that, she ran after him, quickly catching up.

Inuyasha was glad that Kagome caught the drift and came after him alone. "Jo, Kagome. What do you want?"

The miko looked at him. "I want to know what that was all about," she told him determined. "First you nearly strangle that old man, then you ruin my clothes and storm out of the hut, to finally come back looking more like Sesshoumaru than yourself. And don't tell me something about a brief encounter."

Inuyasha evaluated how much he should tell her, but decided to keep this chapter of his past to himself. "I met him a long time ago, actually before I was pinned to the Goshinboku." That wasn't wrong, just almost nine years before. "And believe me, he would have deserved it if I had killed him today."

"Don't you feel better, now that you haven't killed him?" Kagome asked. She wouldn't believe that he would gain pleasure from killing helpless people.

Inuyasha thought about that. "Maybe," he admitted. Degrading the asshole also had its good sides. Eiji crawling on the ground would become one of his favorite memories, of that he was sure. "You know, this whole mess wouldn't have happened if you hadn't sat me," he told Kagome.

The miko gave him an unbelieving look. "You were about to kill him before I stopped you!"

"Maybe, maybe not," Inuyasha answered. "But that's not the point. If you hadn't abused your power, I would have calmed down myself."

"Abused my power?" Kagome asked almost surprised. "You were smashing him against the wall hard enough to seriously hurt him."

"I was just scaring him! He almost killed ..." he quickly caught himself. Just five minutes after the whole incident he was starting to relax again, why did he always drop his guard around her?

"He almost killed you?" Kagome asked unbelieving. She couldn't think how an ordinary human would ever have been able to threaten the hanyou's life.

"Keh, of course not. I'm not some weak human!" Inuyasha was quick to answer.

Kagome remembered Eiji's comment about Inuyasha's whore. Had he meant a girlfriend? "Were you speaking about Kikyou?"

"Kagome, this is something I'd rather not talk about." the hanyou told her seriously. "It happened a long time ago, maybe it's better to let the past rest. You said so yourself." He took in a deep breath. "Look, I know you are curious, but my past is nothing I'm particularly fond of talking about," he tried to pacify her. "At least not about the part I remember," he added as an afterthought.

Kagome kept silent, being reminded about the gap in his memory. She felt sorry for him, even what he remembered didn't seem to be a happy childhood, or at least the beginning thereof. It still was hard to believe that his memory came to an abrupt halt around the time he had been seven.

"Kagome, I want you to promise me that you won't do something like today again," Inuyasha interrupted her thoughts.

"What, sit you?" Kagome asked stupefied.

The hanyou grinned at her. "That would be nice." Though that was not what he meant. "But in earnest, I don't think it's fair if you use the spell whenever you like. If you had sat me again back there, you would have signed Eiji's death sentence."

"I would have what?" She had to admit that she still didn't understand him. He had done something uncalled for, and she had sat him. "I don't think that you are in the position to make threats, Inuyasha," she reminded him.

Inuyasha hated the authority in her voice. He really hated how easily she said she would have left him at Eiji's mercy again. "You do not command me, Kagome," he growled, hiding his weakness. "If you had let the bastard kick me again, I wouldn't have been able to ignore that." If he had gone through that humiliation again, nothing short of death would have stopped him. "I tell you once more, Kagome, the fact I have some beads around my neck doesn't make me your or Eiji's fucking whipping boy."

Kagome cringed at the venom in his voice. "You think I liked it when he kicked you?" she shouted back. "Inuyasha, do you think I did that for fun?"

"What would you think if I threw you before Eiji's feet and let him kick you, just because I felt like it?" he asked her angrily. "That was something between him and me!"

"I won't let you threaten the lives of helpless people, Inuyasha," Kagome told him determined.

Inuyasha forced down his anger, it wouldn't help him. "Dammit, Kagome, I'm not a stupid dog you have to beat to get your way! I can be reasoned with, if you had asked me nicely I would have let Eiji go sooner or later."

Somehow it hadn't seemed to her that way. Although technically he hadn't killed Eiji because she had talked him out of it. "I guess you are right on that account," she admitted. What left a bitter aftertaste was that she first had had to break down before he had given in.

"You know what, I offer you a deal. As long as you stop strangling people when I ask you to, I won't sit you." She guessed that this way the whole incident even had a good side, if Inuyasha gave in to the deal he might listen more to her opinion, without having to sit him first. She realized that it had already worked in a way this time, when she had sat the hanyou he had only returned really out for blood, but when she had reasoned with him he had given in, even when Eiji had mocked him.

"Fine. But it will be my own decision if I want to follow your request," the hanyou bargained, thinking of his independence.

"Okay," the miko agreed. "But it will also be my decision if I sit you then or not," she told him with a teasing smile.

"Keh!" Inuyasha grumbled. He guessed it was a step into the right direction, because that way she would try to talk him out of it more often, not just force her way. It was about time she understood he had some dignity left. ´Osuwari,´ he thought, ´she couldn't have come up with a more embarrassing command if she wanted to.´ Maybe she would finally realize that he was the son of a taiyoukai and not a common dog.

"Fine, it's a deal." the hanyou gave in, and she offered him her hand. He gave her a curious look. "Take it," she said, "it's a gesture that says that we both will stand to our word."

When Inuyasha took it, he pulled her closer after a moment, finally returning the hug he had wanted to give her before Eiji had cut in. "Thanks for believing in me, Kagome." He rested his head on her shoulder, relaxing for the first time since he had heard of the survivor of the werewolf attack. If she had wanted to, his return to Eiji could have become another embarrassing ordeal.

´Huh?´ Kagome gulped, feeling her cheeks heat. Inuyasha was hugging her, in the middle of the street. She felt her knees weaken, she definitely hadn't expected that, usually the hanyou didn't show his feelings in public. But she couldn't say she didn't like it, in fact it felt really good. To her dismay, Inuyasha released her after a few seconds, still holding her hand.

Miroku whistled at the sight of them. Shippou, Sango and himself had waited for some time until they had thought it was okay to leave. He would have gone sooner if his cute youkai huntress hadn't convinced him to give Kagome more time. Apparently, the timing was right, even if Sango wouldn't agree on that.

Kagome sighed inwardly when she heard the perverted monk whistle. To her surprise, Inuyasha didn't withdraw immediately, but instead kept holding her hand for some precious seconds more. When he finally released her, he also was blushing. "Dammit, Miroku," he snorted, "you really know how to disturb people." He turned and went towards Toshiaki's house again, leaving the others behind.

´Looks like his boldness finally left him.´ Kagome thought, still trying to get her racing heart under control. This hadn't been like the hug she had received before he had thrown her down the well. This time it had been without ulterior motives, and he hadn't even let himself be disturbed by his friends.

When they arrived, Toshiaki told them that the hanyou had already left. He told them that Inuyasha had said that he was out hunting and would probably not return before sunset.

Kagome rolled her eyes, every time the hanyou did something that showed his feelings he seemed to be embarrassed for them. Other boys would grin or maybe blush, but he always sought solitude, almost as if he was running away. Why couldn't the hanyou admit and show his feelings more often, it wouldn't hurt him. On the contrary, he would become more self-assured.

She comforted herself with the thought that his actions today were a step in the right direction, and a not so small one at that. On the other hand, she still was scared when she remembered how ... savage he had looked when he had returned.

They thanked Toshiaki for relaying the message, and went to their room. Miroku grinned at the miko, who still had a faint blush on her cheeks. "Kagome-sama, did we miss anything important?"

Kagome gave the monk a death glare. "No, you barged in exactly when it was becoming interesting." Inuyasha had never acted so straightforward until now, she thought about what could have happened if Miroku hadn't disturbed them. Inuyasha had made a complete turnaround from unusually aggressive behavior to an unusually affective one. Her thoughts wandered off, imagining what Inuyasha might have done, maybe he would even have ... kissed her?

Sango saw Kagome zone out with a wistful smile. "I told you we should have waited longer!" she hissed at Miroku. If the monk hadn't been so curious, they wouldn't have ruined Kagome's moment with Inuyasha.

Miroku made an unbelieving face. "As far as I remember it was Shippou who wanted to go after them!" he told her truthfully.

"Yes, but you didn't seem too repelled by the idea," Sango said annoyed. The monk had most likely just waited until the child became impatient and would support him.

Shippou cringed guiltily, but he had wanted to go after them because he had remembered the image of Inuyasha stomping out of the water. After the hanyou had left with Kagome and the effect of the adrenaline had died away, the scene of Inuyasha from hell, leaving the water, coming towards him, had replayed itself over and over in his mind. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "but I was afraid for Kagome."

Kagome looked at him unbelieving. "You were afraid for me?" she almost laughed. "Inuyasha wouldn't have hurt me."

Shippou was embarrassed for being laughed at. "You didn't see him!" he defended himself.

"I think we saw him very well," Miroku contradicted. "He looked rather ... discomforting."

The fox would have laughed if he hadn't still been scared. When Inuyasha had arrived at Eiji's hut, he had already calmed down, actually enough to lead a meaningful conversation. Even after the hanyou had dried himself, he hadn't looked half as scary. The fox youkai objected with a unusually frightened voice, "That was nothing compared to when he came out of the water, when the whole ..." he threw his hands into the air, searching for the right word, "madness started!"

Kagome looked at the child. Shippou was quick to begin crying, but he had always been brave during their fights. The will to face Hiten and Manten spoke for itself, to see the kid that scared was really sickening. It had to be the first shock when he saw Inuyasha with that expression, she could hardly believe that the hanyou was capable of a more terrifying one. "Everything okay, Shippou?" she asked him.

The fox child nodded after a while. "I guess I'll have to sleep over it." He tried to summon up pictures of a peaceful Inuyasha, having moderate success.

"I wonder what happened between Eiji and Inuyasha?" Sango wondered out loud. "Did he mention anything, Kagome?"

The miko shook her head. "Not much. He just blurted out that Eiji almost killed someone, but wouldn't tell whom." She tried to put the puzzle together, but too many pieces were missing. "Because of Eiji's comment about Inuyasha's whore, I asked him if it has to do with Kikyou, but although he didn't decline I don't think it has to do with her." she told them truthfully. "Maybe Inuyasha had a girlfriend before Kikyou?" she added as an afterthought, it would be just like him to keep something like that secret.

Miroku made a small laugh. "Mysterious as always," he commented. "Well, I hope that I won't have to face Inuyasha like that again." he admitted. ´Much less without Kagome,´ he added silently.

The rest of them could only nod.

Inuyasha had settled himself on a tree next to the river. He had wanted to hunt at first, but had given up when he hadn't found the slightest pleasure in stalking around the forest. So he had finally returned to the river, hoping that the soothing sound of the water would help him sorting out his confused thoughts.

He had watched the sunset, the color of the few clouds fading from red to a pale gray in what little was left of the moonlight. It were only five days left until new moon and his human night. He tried to calculate the distance to Kaede's village, but could only guess because this part of the land was unknown to him. He wondered if he had kept away subconsciously, or if it was pure chance. Either way, his life was being turned upside down, to the extent he could no longer hide it.

The incident with Eiji was the greatest loss of control he had had so far, outdoing even the one he had had with the two slavers. Back then it had only lasted for not even ten seconds, but this time it had been longer. Much longer. He guessed it was luck that he had been too stunned in the beginning to flip out immediately after the sit, trying to calm himself down in the river, until something in him had snapped. He had reduced the world to himself, his target, Eiji, and removing the obstacles in the way of killing him. The first had been reaching his quarry, the next getting Kagome out of the way.

Only her tears had snapped him out of it. It had been no lie when he had told Eiji that he owed his life to Kagome. Still, it seemed that the whole ordeal also had some positive effects for him. He had finally established his position with Kagome, showing her that she didn't have him under her thumb. He guessed that they both had gained more by giving in a little, and with a grin he remembered that he also got to hug her.

She had offered to treat him better, and he knew he had had to earn it. If he hadn't finally gone against her, she wouldn't have even thought of it. He absentmindedly began to play with the prayer beads, twisting them around his fingers. He had felt almost as if the collar had been taken off, and the success had intoxicated him. He had embraced her feeling like he owned the world.

Now that he was down on earth again, he felt the nagging feeling again, telling him that he should keep his distance. That he was being selfish and should leave Kagome alone. He had also felt when he had begun to get closer to Kikyou, but had decided to ignore it. He wondered if he had been foreshadowing her death.

"Dammit," he muttered to himself, jumping down the tree. When he finally made some progress, his own mind decided to go against him. Should he ignore the feeling? But what if something happened to Kagome? He remembered holding her hand after Miroku's whistle, not letting her go. She hadn't looked repelled at all. Had Kikyou ever looked repelled when he had embraced her?

He set off for the village, walking rather lazily. He tried to compare Kikyou and Kagome, but couldn't come up with any conclusions that might tell him if Kagome was repelled by him. As far as he could tell, she wasn't. Hell, should he leave her alone just because he was feeling weird? Maybe it were just guilty feelings because he hadn't killed Eiji.

Kagome didn't seem to grasp the concept of revenge. It wasn't about making oneself feel better, but making the other feel worse. What would Haha-ue think of him now? Would she think him weak, ungrateful? Anyway, he would choose Kagome over his mother in this matter, if it made the girl happy the bastard could live his lousy life. What good was a dead mother for anyway?

He left the forest, seeing the village; at this pace he would reach Toshiaki's house in a minute or two. He wondered if he should sleep inside the house. He would rather not, but what would Kagome think of it? Would she think he didn't like her because he didn't want to sleep in the same room? Probably, and he didn't want to tell her that he was uncomfortable sleeping in small rooms, also because he was doing better already. But the room was really small, especially for all of them.

He finally entered the village, seeing how the few people that still were out on the streets went out of his way. What would his friends think of him now? This had been the first time he had really opposed them, and very seriously at that. They had seemed unsure, but had stood against him nonetheless. In a way he was proud at them for sticking together, and hoped that they wouldn't be angry at him. ´Well, I will know soon enough,´ he thought, finally reaching Toshiaki's house.

When he entered the room Madoka had assigned them, he saw the group sitting in a circle in the center. Shippou and Kagome were facing him, while Sango had her back towards him, Kirara sitting on her left side and Miroku on her right. He saw Shippou inching nearer to Kagome, giving him an almost scared look. Miroku was looking curious, while Sango watched him warily after she turned around. The conversation they had been having had died down, making him feel out of place. He was reminded of the hostile atmosphere that usually greeted him when he entered somewhere. "Keh!" He settled himself against the wall, trying to keep an annoyed expression and not show his distress.

Kagome was sad for him. She saw him standing there, looking as if he wanted to join them, but instead he sat down in the corner, putting Tetsusaiga against his shoulder. "Everything alright?" she asked the hanyou.

"Of course, what did you think?" Inuyasha answered, staring at the opposite wall. The thought that they could be afraid of him hadn't even crossed his mind. ´Angry, yes, but not afraid.´

Kagome ignored the rudeness in the dog demon's voice. "Why don't you join us then?" she offered, pointing at the place beside her.

He looked over to them, Kagome was gesturing beside her, and the others also had an expecting look on their faces. "I'm tired," he explained, partially relieved at the curious looks on Miroku's and Sango's faces.

Standing up now would make him seem touchy, and he didn't want to destroy his tough image after he had just reinforced it. But he also didn't want them to be afraid of him, it also was because of fear that he had been excluded all his life. He hoped that he would find an acceptable middle course.

Sango had enough of Inuyasha's secrecy. "Why did you want to kill Eiji?" she asked him directly, trained instinct taking over when her witness was concerned.

"Why don't you ask Kagome?" the hanyou tried to evade, having no desire to be questioned again.

"Why shouldn't I ask you?" He was the one who knew what she wanted to know, after all.

"Because I'm not going to tell you more than I told Kagome." Inuyasha clarified tiredly. Didn't they have anything better to do than prying their noses into his past? What was so interesting about his anyway, couldn't they bug ... Miroku instead? Or Shippou? Or anyone else?

Shippou had watched the hanyou since his entry. Had he only imagined the scene at the river? When he looked at Inuyasha now, he couldn't see the smallest hint of the cold expression the hanyou had had back then. The dog demon was just as impatient and rude as always, even looking a bit excluded compared to the rest of them sitting together.

He had to yawn suddenly, the day had been another stressful one. Was it just his imagination or did the events come in a rush lately? He crawled over to Kagome's sleeping bag, snuggling himself into the soft fabric.

He made one last look in the round. It was quiet, although the three humans looked like they would maybe stay up some more, while Kirara had already rolled up after convincing herself that the dog demon was no danger.

Inuyasha had closed his eyes too, although Shippou didn't believe that the hanyou was already asleep, but more likely wanted to make clear that he wouldn't answer any questions this night.

Inuyasha was swimming against the river. Shippou ran after him, unable to catch up. "Inuyasha, what about our training?" he shouted desperately.

That seemed to get Inuyasha's attention, as he suddenly stopped swimming and waited for the child do catch up. Shippou ran until he was finally standing on the shore next to the hanyou, trying to regain his breath.

"I think we will begin with flexing the claws," Inuyasha said.

Shippou looked up, seeing the hanyou stomping out of the water, evil youki swirling around him. The sunlight suddenly faded away, leaving the scenery in darkness; all the fox could see was the insane gleam in Inuyasha's eyes. He tried to run away, but found himself unable to move under the dog demon's gaze.

"Open up the fingers, until they form a smooth arc," Inuyasha continued, flexing his claws.

Inuyasha pulled back his hand, continuing to advance at the fox, and started a swipe when he was finally within reach. Shippou tried his hardest to back away, but was still not able to flee.

Shippou saw the attack coming at him, terribly slow. It seemed to take hours until Inuyasha's claws had only covered half the distance towards his throat. The ice-cold face of the hanyou was directly in front of him, eyeing him like an insect that had to be crushed.

"Don't you do it faster usually?" Shippou heard a voice ask that sounded suspiciously like his own.

"Of course, stupid," Inuyasha answered, his claws finally having almost reached Shippou's throat. "But usually I try to kill someone."

He felt the claws bite into his flesh.

Shippou awoke, stifling a cry. He took a few deep breaths, trying to regain his composure. He looked around, seeing that it was already morning. Coming back to his senses, he looked towards Inuyasha, almost frightened that he could waken the hanyou by that alone. Inuyasha was still sitting there like last day's evening, Tetsusaiga against his shoulder.

Shippou observed Inuyasha the next ten minutes, being much too disturbed to find sleep again. The hanyou's ear would twitch every now and then, especially when one of the group moved. The fox also noticed that Inuyasha's breathing sounded almost as if he was sniffing, with short, jerky intakes of breath.

Suddenly the hanyou's head started to shift around, his facial muscles working intensely. His limps twitched uncontrolled, and he even gave off a short whimper.

Shippou watched dumbfounded, just before he had had a nightmare of Inuyasha attacking him, and now he heard him whimpering. The concepts of a normal Inuyasha with the bad temper, the one with the wicked gleam and finally a whining one just didn't fit together in the kid's mind, confusing him to no end.

It was the first time he actually saw Inuyasha having a nightmare, he wouldn't have believed the insensitive hanyou could have such a week before. Three days ago he had laughed when the dog demon had awoken with a cry, but right then he saw him sitting there, twitching around, and couldn't help but feel bad for it. He should tell Kagome about it, maybe Inuyasha would speak with her.

Shippou got up and went towards the dog demon, wanting to wake him from the nightmare, when the hanyou suddenly flipped sidewards, away from him. Inuyasha landed on his left hand, pushed himself off the ground immediately afterwards, intent on bringing even more distance between the two. When he had his left hand free again, the upside down half demon held Tetsusaiga's sheath with it and drew the blade with his right hand in midair.

Inuyasha completed his backflip, landing in a crouch three meters away from Shippou, pushing the sheath through his sash. The dog demon bared his fangs and gave off a growl, the sword ready to strike at his side. The child was about to pass out.

This chapter didn't reveal anything of Inuyasha's past (I think), it is more centered on the present and character development. I try to get a balance between the past and the present, I think the two times have to 'work' together.

Although I know the plot for the next two chapters, I'm still unsure of many details. The story keeps twisting as much as possible while I write...

Prodigy - Fuel my Fire provided the title, Korn didn't make it this time...

February 15th, 2003 : Chapter 9 finished.