InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sever the Tie That Binds ❯ Lost and Not Found ( Chapter 6 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

I don’t own Inuyasha.

A/N: Please remember to review!

Chapter 6: Lost and Not Found

I slept peaceful that night. No nightmares, no memories coming back to haunt me. I just slept and didn’t once think of him. It felt good to forget, maybe this was my closure.

I really was forgetting him and for the first time in a long time I didn’t feel hurt, only relieved. I got dressed and rushed over to Sango’s. I had some good news to tell her. I practically skipped to her door.

“Hey Sango.”
“I’m guessing by that frozen grin on your face you had a good date.”
“Yup.”
“Well, I’m glad. Why are you so happy, your acting like your in middle school again.”
“Well, maybe that’s because… I have a boyfriend now!”
“Oh my God, really?” We started laughing so hard I thought we might hurt ourselves. We were acting like little kids again. Girls always do that, we get so excited abut the tiniest details. Miroku walked in and rolled his eyes at us.

“Women, I still don’t understand you.”
“Your not supposed to. Don’t try I don’t want you to sprain anything.”
“Remind me again why I’m marrying you Sango.”
“Cause you love me.”
“Yes I do.” They are so cute when they stop arguing. He gave her a quick kiss and grabbed a soda out of the fridge.

“So what’s my son up to?”
“Not so fast slick. I want to hear how it went when Taro and Koga met.”
“They get along great. Koga is so good with kids. I think I may really….Miroku could you get out? You know girl talk.”
“Sure, I can take a hint. You go on and talk about tampons, and hair, and lo~ove.” he sang the last part in a girly voice. Well he tried to I just think he sounded like a gay guy auditioning for Broadway.

He took his soda and walked into the living room leaving us alone to chat about tampons, hair, and lo~ove. Hah yeah right. Men are just plain stupid when it comes to the inner workings of the female mind.

“Anyway, I think I really like him. I mean yea I like him but I think I might be falling for him. Sango when I’m with him I don’t even think about him.”

“I cant believe it.”
“Me neither but I know I really am getting over him. After he left I thought I would never get over it, it felt like the world had stopped spinning and fell off its axis. But it didn’t and I got through it. I cant say I regret ever meeting him because if I didn’t I wouldn’t have Taro, but I do regret trusting him with my heart.”
“Trust is a funny thing. Not easily built, but easily broken.”
“No, not easily broken. I trusted him fully until he confessed to cheating on me. I never doubted him, not once. I was stupid and naïve and now I see that I really was just a stupid teenage girl.”
“You weren’t stupid, you just never thought anything would end up that way. No one did. But you cant let past mistakes scare you into giving up. You never did, and your not going to start now. Your strong Kagome. You got through it and I swear if it was me I don’t think I could have done what you did alone.”
“Well not alone. I always had you. Your like a sister to me.” I started tearing up. She was always my best friend and it was scary to think of what might have happened if I had never met her.

I looked over at her and she was about to cry. She hugged me and we wiped away our tears. We started laughing at how sentimental we were being and sat back down.

“So is he going to be your date for the engagement party?”
“I don’t know. I hope so, I mean its still a month away. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Well I better get Taro home I need to talk to him about some things.”
“Yeah, but remember Kagome Taro will adjust. Don’t let a good thing go if Taro isn’t comfortable with it at first. Things like that take time.”

“Thanks Sango. I’ll remember that. See just made a mental note.” I said as I closed my eyes and pointed to my head.
“Oh shut up. I was being helpful.”
“I know, I know. Well bye and thanks for watching him again.” I hugged Sango goodbye and went to the spare bedroom where Taro slept. He was packing his backpack with his pajamas and toys.

“Hey handsome, did you have fun last night.”
“Uh huh. What about you mommy. Did you have fun at dinner with that man?”
“Mr. Kaemon? Yes I did. You ready to go sweetie?”

“Yeah, I’m ready to go.” I was worried about his reaction. He was so quiet on the way home in the car. Any other time my ears are bleeding listening to him rambling on about his day. I pulled into a space near the complex and unbuckled Taro.

I carried him in when he held up his arms. He usually wanted me to carry him when he was upset. I wonder what could be wrong with him. I opened the door and put his backpack by the coffee table. I carried him into his room and sat him on his bed.

I got down on my knees and looked at him. I knew he had something on his mind. I was praying he liked Koga, I wanted to see where this relationship could go.

“Taro, what’s wrong? You look upset, you can tell me whatever it is.”

“Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“ Why don’t I have a daddy?” This is where the sun crashes into the ocean and destroys the earth. I had known for a long time he would want to know. But no matter how much you expect things you never feel prepared enough when they actually happen.

I tried to keep myself from crying as I tried to explain this. It wasn’t every mother’s dream to tell her son that his father had abandoned her for someone else. He probably had a new family by now.

I couldn’t tell him that he would probably never even meet his father. I knew one thing, I couldn’t cry and make him more upset about it.

“Well you see, everyone has a daddy. Its just sometimes mommies and daddies don’t live together.”

“Why not?”“Well, if you live with someone its because you love them. Not all couples love each other.”

“Did you and my daddy love each other?”

I had hoped it would be easier to answer. I never expected him to ask a question like that. I didn’t want to tell my son that his father never loved me.

“I loved your daddy very much. Once upon a time.”
“Did he love you?”
I sighed, then took a big breath. “I guess not as much as I thought.”
“Why not?” I turned away from him. I was tearing up and I didn’t want him to see me start to cry.

“He loved someone else.” I had admitted it to my son and to myself. I thought it would kill me saying it out loud, but I was still alive.

Surprising what humans can endure when it comes to emotions. On the outside emotional pain doesn’t leave a scar, it’s the internal bleeding you need to watch out for.

“How come he didn’t love you mommy, I love you.”
“Thank you sweetie. I love you too. I don’t know why he didn’t love me.”

“Well if he didn’t love you he must not have been a very smart daddy.” That made me laugh a little.

“I guess not. And even though you don’t have a daddy who lives near you remember that you always have people who love you. I love you, Aunt Sango loves you, Uncle Miroku loves you. And don’t forget grandma and jii-chan. You are surrounded by love kiddo, and your not getting out of it either.” I tickled him when I said the last part. He was squirming in his bed trying to roll away from me.

“I win?”
“Yes!! Mommy you win.”

“Yup I win. Okay kiddo time for bed.”
“Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“If daddy doesn’t live here, where is he?”
“I don’t know. Your daddy and I haven’t talked in a long time.” I couldn’t lie to him about something like that.

“Oh…. Mom do you think maybe one day my daddy will find us?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes when people are separated for a long time, they may not know how to find their way back. And some people don’t even know what their looking for.”

He didn’t say anything after that. He looked disappointed but I couldn’t get his hopes up. It would hurt more in the long run if you build up their hopes only to crush them later.

“Now, it’s time for bed so get on your pajamas and I’ll go pick out a bedtime story okay?”

“Okay. Mommy?”
“Yes?”
“How come you didn’t get lost?”
“Because I loved you too much. When I saw you I knew that I couldn’t lose you if I tried.” He smiled at me and changed his clothes. He climbed into bed and I read him his night time story. I turned out the light once he fell asleep.

I stood in the doorway for a few minutes watching the rise and fall of his chest as he slept. He was beautiful. He was never a mistake.

As I watched him I thought about his father and the questions he asked me about the past. I had answered his questions but there was no one to answer mine.

There was no one to tell me why he didn’t love me. No one to tell me why he left. And maybe I would never get those answers. Either way, the past was the past and that’s where I decided to leave it.

Even though I had a scar from what happened between us I wasn’t bleeding anymore, I was healing.