InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sever the Tie That Binds ❯ Dancing in Circles ( Chapter 12 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: FallenAngel7891 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.19.2006 | Updated On: 01.19.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 1.8K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 01.19.2006 | Updated On: 01.19.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 1.8K | Status: Work In Progress
I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters (except Taro). This goes for every chapter of this story. I only own the plot and words.
AN: Sorry this update took longer. Most people who sent reviews don’t like Koga very much. Well, then your not going to like this chapter. Just don’t hurt me. Thanks to those of you who reviewed, I love you guys. Which is why it pains me to say that if I don’t get more reviews I wont write anymore.
Ok I’m bluffing, I wouldn’t do that, but PLEASE Review!!!
Chapter 12: Dancing in Circles
The silence had settled upon the small space of the living room, my mind focusing on what almost happened other than old memories and the song lyrics. This wasn’t right. We already played this game, and only ended up back where we started, in each other’s arms. If we kept going, I would get hurt again, only more people would follow. I was tired. Tired of playing the fool, tired of suffering through my feelings while he got out easy. Round and round we went, and I was tired of dancing in circles with Inuyasha.
“Get out.” He looked at me as if I just suggested he jump off a building.
“What?”
“I said get out.” There was a pained look in his eyes at my obvious rejection toward his almost kiss. I pulled away, he wanted to kiss me, and for the first time I stood my ground and pulled away. I was satisfied with myself for my small victory. I felt proud of myself, and in another way disappointed.
The look in my eyes, the silent message that passed between us was enough, and he left shutting the door behind him in a soundless whisper that sounded a thousand times louder in my own ears. I found myself glad he was gone, and wishing he would have begged me to stay. The score was still off-balance and I wanted him to feel everything he made me feel. No more, no less.
Just simple, cold hard math. No feelings, just business. It was time to even up the score, play the same pain game on his heart. His reappearance had me confused and wondering about my own feelings for him. Something I didn’t want to think about, something I was afraid to admit.
That was close, too close. I couldn’t fall into his trap again. Like a spiders web that winds itself around you, and you don’t see yourself being pulled in, until its too late and your stuck. I wouldn’t be a victim anymore, I wouldn’t feel anything anymore. I may not be able to control my feelings, but I could control my actions. And I would. I was so deep in my thoughts I didn’t see the sad look on my son’s face when he emerged from his room, until he spoke.
“Mommy? Where’d Mr. Inuyasha go?”“Where he belongs.” I felt bad for my harsh, pessimistic words to my son’s innocent question. When his face fell and he dropped his head so low his chin was touching his chest, I felt lower than I ever had in my life.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be back…” I paused to look out the door Inuyasha just exited. “I know it.” He lifted his head and smiled at me before running back to his room to play more video games.
The next ring of the door was the take-out I had ordered. I looked at the extra order of food meant for Inuyasha that resembled another earth shattering exit between me and him. I stared at the unopened carton with an assortment of longing, and loathing. I threw it out before I could ponder my own reactions to an untouched, paper box full of take-out.
After dinner and a few rounds of go fish with Taro I tucked him in and went straight to bed, deciding to take a shower in the morning. I figured I would talk to Sango tomorrow and finally tell her the details she wanted to know about Taro, more importantly, how Inuyasha reacted to the news of having a son.
To my amazement I didn’t think about Inuyasha all day at work, or what almost happened between us the night before. I didn’t think much of anything, in fact. I got a call from Koga and we made plans to have dinner Friday night. Other than that, work was the same, and I had no phantom memories or unwanted feelings coming to haunt my mind during my agonizing work hours.
When I arrived at Sango’s to pick up Taro I noticed a familiar red Tiburon in the parking lot. On the outside my face was stern and determined. On the inside I was shaky and on edge. As I approached the door I heard noises and laughter coming from inside. I bit down on the inside of my cheek, keeping my mouth closed, as I heard the voices of father and son coming from behind the heavy white door.
I didn’t want to acknowledge it, but I was furious. I knocked heavily on the door seeing the smiling face of Sango as she opened the door, laughing at them briefly over her shoulder. I didn’t want to keep Taro from Inuyasha, but I also didn’t want him around without me knowing. What pressed my aggravation was Sango’s casual attitude about it, as if it were amusing or an everyday occurrence.
“Oh, hi Kagome.”
“Hi.” I replied shortly, trying to keep my anger in check.
“Come on in. They were just…”
“Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?” I interrupted quickly. She nodded briefly at my stern face before taking quick steps toward the kitchen. Inuyasha and Taro stayed put, not even blinking as they played Twister. If I wasn’t so irritated it would have been an amusing sight.
Taro knees were bent, his right hand tangled around his left leg with Inuyasha positioned above him bending backwards making an arch with his back, trying to flick the spinner with his left hand without losing his balance. With one last, quick glance I followed behind Sango toward the kitchen. The second she turned and looked at me she lost her smile and it quickly turned into a scowl.
“Okay, what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“Kagome you had that tone when you said you wanted to talk and I know your pissed.”
“What tone?”
“That displeased, annoyed tone.”
“What is he doing here?”
“He came to see Taro.”
“I know that much. Why? Why is he here when I didn’t know anything about it.”
“I thought it would be okay. Miroku told me Inuyasha had said that you were letting him see Taro and I thought you wouldn’t mind. I’m sorry, he came by and I didn’t think it would hurt anything.”
“It’s okay. Its just this whole situation makes me nervous.”
“I understand. It’s a bad situation to begin with.” She glanced from the kitchen to the two in the living room still playing Twister, keeping her eyes glued to them as a small smile settled on her face. I also turned to them, watching them tangle their own limbs, bending and stretching.
“He’s good with Taro though.”
“Yes,” I admitted and sighed. “He is.” For some reason the original reason I came here faded away, and suddenly I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what almost happened as the words themselves died in my throat, locking themselves away and hiding that moment deep inside my own memory. I felt ashamed, guilty of some petty, uncommitted crime, and about to be punished for nothing.
So I stayed quiet and continued to stare towards the smiling and laughing duo that had fallen together in a knotted heap on the carpet. I leaned my head against the frame between the kitchen and living room not wanting to disturb their moment as I watched on. When Inuyasha looked up, his eyes caught mine and his smile faded. He gently removed Taro from his torso and stood up quickly.
“Sorry, Taro. I’ll see you another time okay.”
“Okay, you promise?” He looked down and smiled at Taro.
“Yeah I promise,” then he turned back to look at Sango “Bye Sango.”
“Bye.” He simply looked at me one last time before heading out the door, not even acknowledging my presence. I would have laughed at his immature attitude towards the rejection the night before if it didn’t make me feel so invisible and dismal. I glared at his back as he walked out and shut the door, wishing I could throw daggers at him instead of looks. Sango just stood there staring after him with a strange look.
“Well that went well. What was his problem?” I took my angry stare from the door and looked at Sango. I just shook my head.
“He’s just being a jerk. Nothing new.” I answered in a monotone voice and sat down, not showing that his ‘cold shoulder’ act bothered me, while on the inside I was seething. Sango turned her attention from the door as well and sat at the table next to the chair I was currently brooding in.
Again, more games. Trying to kiss me, then ignoring me. He destroyed my trust, and ability to love again. Now he expects me to fall into his arms? I hadn’t forgotten, and I never will. I have not yet forgiven him either, and maybe I never will. Did he forget? He left me for someone else, the same beautiful woman hanging on his arm at the engagement party.
“Kagome, my parents are treating to dinner this Friday since they didn’t make it to the engagement party, you could bring Koga. We’ll go as a group. We‘re eating at the House of Phung and we have reservations for 7.”
“Sure, sounds great. I’ll talk to Koga later.”
“I know its not the best time to bring it up, but what happened between you and Inuyasha that night?” I kept my eyes on the table in front of me. I couldn’t answer her, or look her in the eye. I stayed quiet for a long time before I answered her without fully answering her question.
“Nothing that matters anymore.” That was it. It was the truth, everything that had happened between us would have mattered six years ago, but not anymore.
She didn’t respond to my comment, merely gave me a pensive look trying to understand the meaning behind the words. As I walked out I looked over my shoulder at her, and that expression had not moved from her face. I didn’t explain it to her, and I wouldn’t. Instead I left.
The whole way home Taro kept talking about how many things he and Inuyasha did that day. As I listened to my son’s babbling I started to think about what would happen. Inuyasha and Taro were quite taken with each other, but what would happen when all the wedding business was over?Inuyasha wanted to be with his son, I wanted to get back to my life the way it was. Where was this leading? Would he fight me for custody? Demand to see Taro? What about the other woman? Did she even know about his son? I may be selfish and scornful, but I didn’t want her anywhere near my son. I didn’t know her, but I already lost Inuyasha to her and I would not lose my son to anyone.
In life there are always more questions than answers, but I couldn’t get them out of my mind. I started thinking how everything came to be this way. The day I met Inuyasha so many years ago. He was the first friend I made in kindergarten. It would be nice to believe that we met for a reason, to be together. But reality is harsh, never nice.
I pulled into the apartment parking lot with so many different things racing around inside my head. I was in a whole different zone as I unbuckled Taro and walked into the apartment. After dinner I played with Taro for a few hours before he took his bath and got ready for bed.
I couldn’t sleep, I was too worried about how things would work out. I spent most of the night staring at the bedroom ceiling wondering why this was happening and wishing it wasn’t. The next morning I called Koga about dinner Friday night with Sango and Miroku.
“Koga?”
“Yeah?”
“About dinner this Friday…”
“Your not canceling again are you?”
“No, but we were invited to have dinner with Miroku, Sango, and Sango’s parents. Do you wanna go? If not I don’t mind…” And I kept rambling on and on hoping I could get him to go with me.
“Kagome. Kagome, I would love to okay. Take a breath.” He said laughing lightly.
“You don’t mind?” I asked in a sickly sweet voice.
“No, of course not.”
“Great. We’ll all meet at Sango’s and go from there. Dinner’s at 7. ”
“Okay I’ll pick you up around 5:45 that way we have time to go to Sango’s, then to the restaurant.”
“Okay, I’ll make dinner for you tomorrow night to make up for this.”
“Mmmm, sounds good. What time?”
“How about 5:30?”
“Okay, cant wait.”
“Me neither, bye.”
After talking to Koga I went on with my normal routine. Taro’s birthday was almost a week away and I kept thinking about inviting Inuyasha. The only problem being I wouldn’t want to see him with her there.
I know I couldn’t take that. Knowing it is hard enough, but having to see it firsthand would be worse than a train running off the tracks and just as damaging. I thought about what to do about it at work for the most part of the day.
“Good morning Kagome.” I jumped slightly in my seat at the sound of Naraku’s voice. I hadn’t even heard his office door open.
“Good morning Mr. Kano.”
“You look upset, is everything fairing well for you?” The devious look of feigned concern with a hint of a smile made me grit my teeth together. His voice sounded as if he were mocking me, like he knew about my problems.
“Not at the moment, but everything will work out.”
“Is it your son?” Now I was really bordering on paranoid. Why would he ask that out of nowhere? He never asked about my son.
“No he’s fine. Thanks for asking.” I was just praying he would tell me what needed to be done and leave.
“Follow me.” He said and started heading to his office. I obeyed and followed behind him as he held the door to his office open for me. I walked inside and turned to watch him as he quietly shut the door. I waited across the room watching his every move as if he were ready to pounce on me. He slowly turned to look at me, silently running his eyes along my body before he said anything.
“Is it Inuyasha?” He asked with a vicious smirk. The bastard knew, he knew. I don’t know how but he knew about my current problems with Inuyasha. I hated Naraku Kano, with everything I had, I hated that man.
“How do you know about that?” I asked my voice breaking slightly, while I clenched my fists trying to stop my hands from shaking.
“I remember when I first met you,” he went on ignoring my question. “You were still in high school and your mom had invited many of your grandfather’s friends to that dinner party. Do you remember?” I nodded slowly, afraid of what else he had to say. The way he was talking, and looking at me made me feel dirty. I crumpled under his stare, losing my stance and my breathing quickened. He just smirked wider and continued on, his voice never changing in volume or tone.
“You were wearing that white dress with pink sakura blossoms on it. You looked very beautiful that night. You were talking to some young man and when your mother introduced us she said he was your boyfriend, Inuyasha. I only assumed two years later when I heard of your predicament before you came to work for me that he was the father. Was I wrong?” he asked with that condescending tone, knowing he was right.
“Mr. Kano, I don’t see what this has to do with anything.”
“I had heard Inuyasha returned. Surely that would be upsetting, seeing him again after so many years. In the arms of another woman no less. I was merely concerned for your feelings Kagome. After all he did choose her.” Each word he said caused tears to sting my eyes. It was true and him taunting me about my own personal emotional downfall was cruel and his words were harsh, despite being accurate.
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I said in a desperate whisper, trying to keep the hateful drops of water inside my eyes.
“You still long for him don’t you Kagome?” he asked walking towards me. “Do you wish you were her, that he chose you so many years ago? Do you hate her for what she did?” I was trying to stop myself from crying, he was doing this to hurt me and I’d be damned if I gave him any type of satisfaction.
“I think you should just forget about it. I could help you, you know?” he said as he circled me, never taking his hungry eyes off my body. “I could make you forget Kagome, just give me the opportunity.” He said as he stopped in front of me, trying to stare me down with his malicious look.
“No.” Then I lifted my eyes to his and stared back at him defiantly, my eyes narrowed. “If there is nothing of importance you wanted to discuss, I’ll get back to work sir.” Before he could utter a word I walked out, my heels making loud clicks with each angry step before I slammed the door.
Finally out of his office I headed for the restroom. I locked the door and slid down it, not worrying about ruining my work suit, and that’s when I released it. Every painful word he said echoing through my head came out in tears as I replayed the incident in my head. As I sat against the door trying to get my breathing back to normal I thought about the questions he asked me, wondering myself what the answers were. I could only answer two.
No, I didn’t wish I was her, I had wanted him to love me for me. No, I didn’t hate anyone, resent maybe, but hate? No. I could never hate anyone for a decision they did not make, or blame them for someone else’s lies and mistakes.
I quickly wiped my tears away, deciding not to let his words hurt me. Although they did, I wouldn’t show it. I straightened my suit and washed my face with cold water briefly to try and reduce the redness from my tears. With one last look in the mirror I left the bathroom.
I noticed Mr. Kano had not left his office and I hoped he didn’t until I left. I went to work quickly trying to busy my thoughts. When I finished Mr. Kano spoke from the door, giving me permission to leave early. I didn’t reply but simply left without a word to him.
Instead of picking Taro up right away, I went to the store to get some things to make dinner for Koga the next night. I decided to make lamb with a cherry glaze, herb bread, baby peas, and red potatoes. I put everything I needed in the cart and headed to the registers.
After shopping I went to pick up Taro early, and to my relief Inuyasha was not there for a surprise visit.
“Hey Sango.”
“Hey Kagome, you’re an hour early.”
“Yeah, I got off early. Where’s Taro?”
“In the spare bedroom, last I saw he was working on a puzzle.”
“I talked to Koga, and we are both joining you for dinner on Friday night.” Her eyes lit up.
“Really? Great!”
“Yeah I guess I can get my mom to watch Taro for me. I’m sure she’d love to see him, and I don’t think she’s spoiled him in a while.”
“Yeah she loves him.”
“I know, but he always gets a new toy when he sees her.”
“Its her only grandchild, it was inevitable that she would spoil him.”
“I guess, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Bye.” I called for Taro and we went home. I put away the groceries and made dinner. Me and Taro watched a movie, and I put him in bed after he fell asleep on the couch.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Naraku and everything he had said. He was trying to get a reaction out of me today, goading me. But I couldn’t figure out why. What would he have to gain from torturing me with my past? No matter how much I thought about it I couldn’t find an answer to that. So I drifted to sleep, deciding to ignore him.
The next night Sango offered to baby-sit while I made dinner for Koga. I thanked her and hurried home to get started. I put on a white dress that hugged my curves, with thin straps. It had dark red flowers all over it, but was very simple. I put my hair up in a French roll with a few tendrils curled framing my face. I put on some eyeliner, frosted pink eye shadow, and red lipstick.
When dinner was done I set the table using my decorative white table cloth, that I only brought out for special occasions, and placed two long, red taper candles halfway from the center on each end of the table.
I put the lamb in the center, and the other vegetables around it, with the bread in a small basket to the far left. I got out two wine glasses and a bottle of wine and put them on the table before going to answer the door at the familiar sound of the buzzer.
When I opened the door I noticed Koga had dressed up. He was wearing a tight fitting, long sleeve, black silk shirt with khaki pants. The tight shirt showed off his muscles, and his hair wasn’t up in its usual ponytail. He had it down, hanging by his shoulders. He looked so sexy that I forgot I was just standing there staring at him.
“Kagome, you look gorgeous.” I snapped back at his compliment.
“Thanks, you look great. I love your hair down, its very sexy.” I said smiling at him mischievously and stepping out of the way to let him in.
“Thanks. I think I’ll leave it down more often.” We both laughed before I showed him to the kitchen for dinner. He pulled out my chair for me, then poured us each a glass of
wine. We talked about work and idle things as we ate. I didn’t have much to say about work, or my boss for that matter. I mostly listened as Koga talked about owning his own night club, and talking of expanding it within the next year. He explained that was why he needed a lawyer. Someone wanted the land he built his club on, and were threatening him to the point of driving away business through rumors if he didn’t sell.
After dinner we cuddled on the couch together watching a movie. But the movie was soon forgotten when he kissed me. I tried to keep my mind on Koga, and his mouth as he pulled me into his lap, my legs straddling him. But my mind kept returning to the day before and Naraku’s words.
After all he did choose her.
I felt Koga pulling me closer to him as his arms tightened around my waist. He made a small moaning sound as I gently bit his bottom lip. As the words grew louder, I kissed him more fervently, more passionately.
You still long for him don’t you?
No. No. I’d prove that much. I pulled away to breathe then put my hands on the side of Koga’s face and rocked my hips suggestively against him as I kissed him again. I felt him harden underneath me and I let a small smile come to my face as he moaned again.
Do you wish you were her? That he chose you so many years ago?
I pulled away from Koga and stood up. He looked at me confused for a minute before I placed my hands at the bottom of my dress and pulled it up. I removed my dress and threw it on the floor to the side. I stood before him wearing a white laced bra, with matching bikini underwear. I pulled the pins out of my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders and down my back in slight waves.
I watched him take me in before he stood up and walked towards me with a slight smirk on his lips. He pulled me towards him and kissed me. I felt my feet leave the ground as Koga picked me up bridal-style, and with my arms around his neck he headed for my bedroom.
It was time to stop dancing in circles with Inuyasha.
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AN: Sorry this update took longer. Most people who sent reviews don’t like Koga very much. Well, then your not going to like this chapter. Just don’t hurt me. Thanks to those of you who reviewed, I love you guys. Which is why it pains me to say that if I don’t get more reviews I wont write anymore.
Ok I’m bluffing, I wouldn’t do that, but PLEASE Review!!!
Chapter 12: Dancing in Circles
The silence had settled upon the small space of the living room, my mind focusing on what almost happened other than old memories and the song lyrics. This wasn’t right. We already played this game, and only ended up back where we started, in each other’s arms. If we kept going, I would get hurt again, only more people would follow. I was tired. Tired of playing the fool, tired of suffering through my feelings while he got out easy. Round and round we went, and I was tired of dancing in circles with Inuyasha.
“Get out.” He looked at me as if I just suggested he jump off a building.
“What?”
“I said get out.” There was a pained look in his eyes at my obvious rejection toward his almost kiss. I pulled away, he wanted to kiss me, and for the first time I stood my ground and pulled away. I was satisfied with myself for my small victory. I felt proud of myself, and in another way disappointed.
The look in my eyes, the silent message that passed between us was enough, and he left shutting the door behind him in a soundless whisper that sounded a thousand times louder in my own ears. I found myself glad he was gone, and wishing he would have begged me to stay. The score was still off-balance and I wanted him to feel everything he made me feel. No more, no less.
Just simple, cold hard math. No feelings, just business. It was time to even up the score, play the same pain game on his heart. His reappearance had me confused and wondering about my own feelings for him. Something I didn’t want to think about, something I was afraid to admit.
That was close, too close. I couldn’t fall into his trap again. Like a spiders web that winds itself around you, and you don’t see yourself being pulled in, until its too late and your stuck. I wouldn’t be a victim anymore, I wouldn’t feel anything anymore. I may not be able to control my feelings, but I could control my actions. And I would. I was so deep in my thoughts I didn’t see the sad look on my son’s face when he emerged from his room, until he spoke.
“Mommy? Where’d Mr. Inuyasha go?”“Where he belongs.” I felt bad for my harsh, pessimistic words to my son’s innocent question. When his face fell and he dropped his head so low his chin was touching his chest, I felt lower than I ever had in my life.
“Don’t worry, he’ll be back…” I paused to look out the door Inuyasha just exited. “I know it.” He lifted his head and smiled at me before running back to his room to play more video games.
The next ring of the door was the take-out I had ordered. I looked at the extra order of food meant for Inuyasha that resembled another earth shattering exit between me and him. I stared at the unopened carton with an assortment of longing, and loathing. I threw it out before I could ponder my own reactions to an untouched, paper box full of take-out.
After dinner and a few rounds of go fish with Taro I tucked him in and went straight to bed, deciding to take a shower in the morning. I figured I would talk to Sango tomorrow and finally tell her the details she wanted to know about Taro, more importantly, how Inuyasha reacted to the news of having a son.
To my amazement I didn’t think about Inuyasha all day at work, or what almost happened between us the night before. I didn’t think much of anything, in fact. I got a call from Koga and we made plans to have dinner Friday night. Other than that, work was the same, and I had no phantom memories or unwanted feelings coming to haunt my mind during my agonizing work hours.
When I arrived at Sango’s to pick up Taro I noticed a familiar red Tiburon in the parking lot. On the outside my face was stern and determined. On the inside I was shaky and on edge. As I approached the door I heard noises and laughter coming from inside. I bit down on the inside of my cheek, keeping my mouth closed, as I heard the voices of father and son coming from behind the heavy white door.
I didn’t want to acknowledge it, but I was furious. I knocked heavily on the door seeing the smiling face of Sango as she opened the door, laughing at them briefly over her shoulder. I didn’t want to keep Taro from Inuyasha, but I also didn’t want him around without me knowing. What pressed my aggravation was Sango’s casual attitude about it, as if it were amusing or an everyday occurrence.
“Oh, hi Kagome.”
“Hi.” I replied shortly, trying to keep my anger in check.
“Come on in. They were just…”
“Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?” I interrupted quickly. She nodded briefly at my stern face before taking quick steps toward the kitchen. Inuyasha and Taro stayed put, not even blinking as they played Twister. If I wasn’t so irritated it would have been an amusing sight.
Taro knees were bent, his right hand tangled around his left leg with Inuyasha positioned above him bending backwards making an arch with his back, trying to flick the spinner with his left hand without losing his balance. With one last, quick glance I followed behind Sango toward the kitchen. The second she turned and looked at me she lost her smile and it quickly turned into a scowl.
“Okay, what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“Kagome you had that tone when you said you wanted to talk and I know your pissed.”
“What tone?”
“That displeased, annoyed tone.”
“What is he doing here?”
“He came to see Taro.”
“I know that much. Why? Why is he here when I didn’t know anything about it.”
“I thought it would be okay. Miroku told me Inuyasha had said that you were letting him see Taro and I thought you wouldn’t mind. I’m sorry, he came by and I didn’t think it would hurt anything.”
“It’s okay. Its just this whole situation makes me nervous.”
“I understand. It’s a bad situation to begin with.” She glanced from the kitchen to the two in the living room still playing Twister, keeping her eyes glued to them as a small smile settled on her face. I also turned to them, watching them tangle their own limbs, bending and stretching.
“He’s good with Taro though.”
“Yes,” I admitted and sighed. “He is.” For some reason the original reason I came here faded away, and suddenly I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what almost happened as the words themselves died in my throat, locking themselves away and hiding that moment deep inside my own memory. I felt ashamed, guilty of some petty, uncommitted crime, and about to be punished for nothing.
So I stayed quiet and continued to stare towards the smiling and laughing duo that had fallen together in a knotted heap on the carpet. I leaned my head against the frame between the kitchen and living room not wanting to disturb their moment as I watched on. When Inuyasha looked up, his eyes caught mine and his smile faded. He gently removed Taro from his torso and stood up quickly.
“Sorry, Taro. I’ll see you another time okay.”
“Okay, you promise?” He looked down and smiled at Taro.
“Yeah I promise,” then he turned back to look at Sango “Bye Sango.”
“Bye.” He simply looked at me one last time before heading out the door, not even acknowledging my presence. I would have laughed at his immature attitude towards the rejection the night before if it didn’t make me feel so invisible and dismal. I glared at his back as he walked out and shut the door, wishing I could throw daggers at him instead of looks. Sango just stood there staring after him with a strange look.
“Well that went well. What was his problem?” I took my angry stare from the door and looked at Sango. I just shook my head.
“He’s just being a jerk. Nothing new.” I answered in a monotone voice and sat down, not showing that his ‘cold shoulder’ act bothered me, while on the inside I was seething. Sango turned her attention from the door as well and sat at the table next to the chair I was currently brooding in.
Again, more games. Trying to kiss me, then ignoring me. He destroyed my trust, and ability to love again. Now he expects me to fall into his arms? I hadn’t forgotten, and I never will. I have not yet forgiven him either, and maybe I never will. Did he forget? He left me for someone else, the same beautiful woman hanging on his arm at the engagement party.
“Kagome, my parents are treating to dinner this Friday since they didn’t make it to the engagement party, you could bring Koga. We’ll go as a group. We‘re eating at the House of Phung and we have reservations for 7.”
“Sure, sounds great. I’ll talk to Koga later.”
“I know its not the best time to bring it up, but what happened between you and Inuyasha that night?” I kept my eyes on the table in front of me. I couldn’t answer her, or look her in the eye. I stayed quiet for a long time before I answered her without fully answering her question.
“Nothing that matters anymore.” That was it. It was the truth, everything that had happened between us would have mattered six years ago, but not anymore.
She didn’t respond to my comment, merely gave me a pensive look trying to understand the meaning behind the words. As I walked out I looked over my shoulder at her, and that expression had not moved from her face. I didn’t explain it to her, and I wouldn’t. Instead I left.
The whole way home Taro kept talking about how many things he and Inuyasha did that day. As I listened to my son’s babbling I started to think about what would happen. Inuyasha and Taro were quite taken with each other, but what would happen when all the wedding business was over?Inuyasha wanted to be with his son, I wanted to get back to my life the way it was. Where was this leading? Would he fight me for custody? Demand to see Taro? What about the other woman? Did she even know about his son? I may be selfish and scornful, but I didn’t want her anywhere near my son. I didn’t know her, but I already lost Inuyasha to her and I would not lose my son to anyone.
In life there are always more questions than answers, but I couldn’t get them out of my mind. I started thinking how everything came to be this way. The day I met Inuyasha so many years ago. He was the first friend I made in kindergarten. It would be nice to believe that we met for a reason, to be together. But reality is harsh, never nice.
I pulled into the apartment parking lot with so many different things racing around inside my head. I was in a whole different zone as I unbuckled Taro and walked into the apartment. After dinner I played with Taro for a few hours before he took his bath and got ready for bed.
I couldn’t sleep, I was too worried about how things would work out. I spent most of the night staring at the bedroom ceiling wondering why this was happening and wishing it wasn’t. The next morning I called Koga about dinner Friday night with Sango and Miroku.
“Koga?”
“Yeah?”
“About dinner this Friday…”
“Your not canceling again are you?”
“No, but we were invited to have dinner with Miroku, Sango, and Sango’s parents. Do you wanna go? If not I don’t mind…” And I kept rambling on and on hoping I could get him to go with me.
“Kagome. Kagome, I would love to okay. Take a breath.” He said laughing lightly.
“You don’t mind?” I asked in a sickly sweet voice.
“No, of course not.”
“Great. We’ll all meet at Sango’s and go from there. Dinner’s at 7. ”
“Okay I’ll pick you up around 5:45 that way we have time to go to Sango’s, then to the restaurant.”
“Okay, I’ll make dinner for you tomorrow night to make up for this.”
“Mmmm, sounds good. What time?”
“How about 5:30?”
“Okay, cant wait.”
“Me neither, bye.”
After talking to Koga I went on with my normal routine. Taro’s birthday was almost a week away and I kept thinking about inviting Inuyasha. The only problem being I wouldn’t want to see him with her there.
I know I couldn’t take that. Knowing it is hard enough, but having to see it firsthand would be worse than a train running off the tracks and just as damaging. I thought about what to do about it at work for the most part of the day.
“Good morning Kagome.” I jumped slightly in my seat at the sound of Naraku’s voice. I hadn’t even heard his office door open.
“Good morning Mr. Kano.”
“You look upset, is everything fairing well for you?” The devious look of feigned concern with a hint of a smile made me grit my teeth together. His voice sounded as if he were mocking me, like he knew about my problems.
“Not at the moment, but everything will work out.”
“Is it your son?” Now I was really bordering on paranoid. Why would he ask that out of nowhere? He never asked about my son.
“No he’s fine. Thanks for asking.” I was just praying he would tell me what needed to be done and leave.
“Follow me.” He said and started heading to his office. I obeyed and followed behind him as he held the door to his office open for me. I walked inside and turned to watch him as he quietly shut the door. I waited across the room watching his every move as if he were ready to pounce on me. He slowly turned to look at me, silently running his eyes along my body before he said anything.
“Is it Inuyasha?” He asked with a vicious smirk. The bastard knew, he knew. I don’t know how but he knew about my current problems with Inuyasha. I hated Naraku Kano, with everything I had, I hated that man.
“How do you know about that?” I asked my voice breaking slightly, while I clenched my fists trying to stop my hands from shaking.
“I remember when I first met you,” he went on ignoring my question. “You were still in high school and your mom had invited many of your grandfather’s friends to that dinner party. Do you remember?” I nodded slowly, afraid of what else he had to say. The way he was talking, and looking at me made me feel dirty. I crumpled under his stare, losing my stance and my breathing quickened. He just smirked wider and continued on, his voice never changing in volume or tone.
“You were wearing that white dress with pink sakura blossoms on it. You looked very beautiful that night. You were talking to some young man and when your mother introduced us she said he was your boyfriend, Inuyasha. I only assumed two years later when I heard of your predicament before you came to work for me that he was the father. Was I wrong?” he asked with that condescending tone, knowing he was right.
“Mr. Kano, I don’t see what this has to do with anything.”
“I had heard Inuyasha returned. Surely that would be upsetting, seeing him again after so many years. In the arms of another woman no less. I was merely concerned for your feelings Kagome. After all he did choose her.” Each word he said caused tears to sting my eyes. It was true and him taunting me about my own personal emotional downfall was cruel and his words were harsh, despite being accurate.
“I don’t want to talk about this.” I said in a desperate whisper, trying to keep the hateful drops of water inside my eyes.
“You still long for him don’t you Kagome?” he asked walking towards me. “Do you wish you were her, that he chose you so many years ago? Do you hate her for what she did?” I was trying to stop myself from crying, he was doing this to hurt me and I’d be damned if I gave him any type of satisfaction.
“I think you should just forget about it. I could help you, you know?” he said as he circled me, never taking his hungry eyes off my body. “I could make you forget Kagome, just give me the opportunity.” He said as he stopped in front of me, trying to stare me down with his malicious look.
“No.” Then I lifted my eyes to his and stared back at him defiantly, my eyes narrowed. “If there is nothing of importance you wanted to discuss, I’ll get back to work sir.” Before he could utter a word I walked out, my heels making loud clicks with each angry step before I slammed the door.
Finally out of his office I headed for the restroom. I locked the door and slid down it, not worrying about ruining my work suit, and that’s when I released it. Every painful word he said echoing through my head came out in tears as I replayed the incident in my head. As I sat against the door trying to get my breathing back to normal I thought about the questions he asked me, wondering myself what the answers were. I could only answer two.
No, I didn’t wish I was her, I had wanted him to love me for me. No, I didn’t hate anyone, resent maybe, but hate? No. I could never hate anyone for a decision they did not make, or blame them for someone else’s lies and mistakes.
I quickly wiped my tears away, deciding not to let his words hurt me. Although they did, I wouldn’t show it. I straightened my suit and washed my face with cold water briefly to try and reduce the redness from my tears. With one last look in the mirror I left the bathroom.
I noticed Mr. Kano had not left his office and I hoped he didn’t until I left. I went to work quickly trying to busy my thoughts. When I finished Mr. Kano spoke from the door, giving me permission to leave early. I didn’t reply but simply left without a word to him.
Instead of picking Taro up right away, I went to the store to get some things to make dinner for Koga the next night. I decided to make lamb with a cherry glaze, herb bread, baby peas, and red potatoes. I put everything I needed in the cart and headed to the registers.
After shopping I went to pick up Taro early, and to my relief Inuyasha was not there for a surprise visit.
“Hey Sango.”
“Hey Kagome, you’re an hour early.”
“Yeah, I got off early. Where’s Taro?”
“In the spare bedroom, last I saw he was working on a puzzle.”
“I talked to Koga, and we are both joining you for dinner on Friday night.” Her eyes lit up.
“Really? Great!”
“Yeah I guess I can get my mom to watch Taro for me. I’m sure she’d love to see him, and I don’t think she’s spoiled him in a while.”
“Yeah she loves him.”
“I know, but he always gets a new toy when he sees her.”
“Its her only grandchild, it was inevitable that she would spoil him.”
“I guess, so I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Bye.” I called for Taro and we went home. I put away the groceries and made dinner. Me and Taro watched a movie, and I put him in bed after he fell asleep on the couch.
I couldn’t stop thinking about Naraku and everything he had said. He was trying to get a reaction out of me today, goading me. But I couldn’t figure out why. What would he have to gain from torturing me with my past? No matter how much I thought about it I couldn’t find an answer to that. So I drifted to sleep, deciding to ignore him.
The next night Sango offered to baby-sit while I made dinner for Koga. I thanked her and hurried home to get started. I put on a white dress that hugged my curves, with thin straps. It had dark red flowers all over it, but was very simple. I put my hair up in a French roll with a few tendrils curled framing my face. I put on some eyeliner, frosted pink eye shadow, and red lipstick.
When dinner was done I set the table using my decorative white table cloth, that I only brought out for special occasions, and placed two long, red taper candles halfway from the center on each end of the table.
I put the lamb in the center, and the other vegetables around it, with the bread in a small basket to the far left. I got out two wine glasses and a bottle of wine and put them on the table before going to answer the door at the familiar sound of the buzzer.
When I opened the door I noticed Koga had dressed up. He was wearing a tight fitting, long sleeve, black silk shirt with khaki pants. The tight shirt showed off his muscles, and his hair wasn’t up in its usual ponytail. He had it down, hanging by his shoulders. He looked so sexy that I forgot I was just standing there staring at him.
“Kagome, you look gorgeous.” I snapped back at his compliment.
“Thanks, you look great. I love your hair down, its very sexy.” I said smiling at him mischievously and stepping out of the way to let him in.
“Thanks. I think I’ll leave it down more often.” We both laughed before I showed him to the kitchen for dinner. He pulled out my chair for me, then poured us each a glass of
wine. We talked about work and idle things as we ate. I didn’t have much to say about work, or my boss for that matter. I mostly listened as Koga talked about owning his own night club, and talking of expanding it within the next year. He explained that was why he needed a lawyer. Someone wanted the land he built his club on, and were threatening him to the point of driving away business through rumors if he didn’t sell.
After dinner we cuddled on the couch together watching a movie. But the movie was soon forgotten when he kissed me. I tried to keep my mind on Koga, and his mouth as he pulled me into his lap, my legs straddling him. But my mind kept returning to the day before and Naraku’s words.
After all he did choose her.
I felt Koga pulling me closer to him as his arms tightened around my waist. He made a small moaning sound as I gently bit his bottom lip. As the words grew louder, I kissed him more fervently, more passionately.
You still long for him don’t you?
No. No. I’d prove that much. I pulled away to breathe then put my hands on the side of Koga’s face and rocked my hips suggestively against him as I kissed him again. I felt him harden underneath me and I let a small smile come to my face as he moaned again.
Do you wish you were her? That he chose you so many years ago?
I pulled away from Koga and stood up. He looked at me confused for a minute before I placed my hands at the bottom of my dress and pulled it up. I removed my dress and threw it on the floor to the side. I stood before him wearing a white laced bra, with matching bikini underwear. I pulled the pins out of my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders and down my back in slight waves.
I watched him take me in before he stood up and walked towards me with a slight smirk on his lips. He pulled me towards him and kissed me. I felt my feet leave the ground as Koga picked me up bridal-style, and with my arms around his neck he headed for my bedroom.
It was time to stop dancing in circles with Inuyasha.
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