InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Sever the Tie That Binds ❯ Jaded ( Chapter 13 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: FallenAngel7891 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.22.2006 | Updated On: 04.24.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.3K | Visits: 1.6K | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 04.22.2006 | Updated On: 04.24.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 6.3K | Visits: 1.6K | Status: Work In Progress
I do not in any way own Inuyasha. Only the plot and words.
Warning: This chapter contains sexual content so if your underage or don’t like it, don’t read. No complaints, you have been warned.
A/N: First I would like to say that I am so SORRY for the very long update. I went to Texas for a while to visit my sister who just had a baby. I’m a proud Auntie!! Thanks for all the reviews guys, they really make me smile! And again sorry if the spacing is messed up, I’m still trying to fix it. This chapter is also my first attempt at a lemon so let me know how I did please. For the record, since a lot of people don’t like Koga I didn’t want to write a very raunchy sex scene b/w Kag/Kog. Anyway, Thanks a lot for being patient and don’t forget to review.
Chapter 13: Jaded
I heard the door close as Koga kicked it shut with his foot upon entering my room. He walked me over to the bed and laid me down gently. Leaning his head in he kissed me again softly, his long hair tickling the bare skin of my shoulders.
I kissed him back, more feverishly, I was in no mood to be gentle. I was in the mood to conquer and I would take what I wanted. He responded to the kiss then pulled away slightly to trail kisses down my neck. I felt his tongue trace the line of my collarbone before sucking on the skin of my neck.
Immediately I felt the moisture gather between my legs as he paid special attention to my weak spot. Slowly his hand traveled the length of my body coming to a stop at my center. His hand cupped me there and my breath caught. He dragged his knuckles along the length of my covered opening and I heard him moan when I breathed out a broken version of his name.
I started to pant and my breathing became ragged when he started massaging my clit through the thin material of my panties. My mind was somewhere else, but by body was blazing. I hadn’t been touched like this in years and I wanted more.
Of their own accord my hips began bucking into his hand, silently begging him to go further. I began to busy myself by kissing his neck and biting his ear when I felt his finger slip past the barrier of my panties and passed my outer lips.
He rubbed my clit in slow circles and I broke away from him panting and gasping for air. He smirked at me before pushing his finger inside me. I moaned and heard him begin to pant as he started thrusting the digit inside me.
My eyes were closed and I felt his lips touching mine again. I tried to concentrate but my mind was too hazy and wrapped up in the motion of his finger as my hips lifted from the bed matching his rhythm.
I felt the warmth beginning to pool in my tummy and knew I was close to coming. Just as I was almost there Koga pulled away from me completely and I nearly cried out in frustration.
I looked at him a few inches from the bed as he stood before me undoing the buttons of his shirt. I watched him, undoing one by one until I sat up and got before him on my knees sitting near the edge of the bed. Grabbing his shirt I literally ripped it open sending the rest of the buttons everywhere. He looked me in the eye with a shocked expression and I smirked before kissing him again.
I ran my hand down the newly exposed skin of his lean, muscular chest. Kissing my way down his neck I licked his nipple, delighting in the small hiss he gave, and continued to the waistline of his jeans. I pulled the button open while massaging his hardened member through the material of his pants. I smiled as I heard him moan my name.
Pulling his pants down he kicked his shoes off. I slid my hands up his legs sensually never taking my eyes from his. Stopping at his boxers I hooked my fingers inside and pulled them down.
Koga was sexy, and had a great body no doubt, but he was average in the girth department. Raising my hand to my mouth I licked it, using my saliva as lubrication before running it over his shaft. Listening to his intake of breath I went on, squeezing slightly as I stroked him from base to tip slowly. I felt him thrust into my hand needing it faster. Wordlessly, I complied and began to pick up my pace while my other hand came up to massage his balls.
When I felt his pre-cum begin to drip from the tip he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to stand in front of him. My wrist still captive in his hold he used it to pull me flush against him and kissed me hard, forcing his tongue into my mouth tasting me hungrily. Pulling away from him I reached my hand behind me and undid the clasp of my bra letting it fall to the floor. He gave me an appreciative look before he slid his fingers along the undersides of my breasts. His hands were cold and caused goose bumps to rise on my skin and my nipples to harden.
When I began walking forward Koga took a step back the backs of his legs touching the bed. I nudged him gently watching as he fell backwards onto the bed. I stood in front of him, pulling my panties off and throwing them to the side before climbing on top of him. I rubbed myself against him as I dragged myself along his body, stopping when we were face to face.
“I want you now.” I whispered before kissing him passionately and rubbing my slick juices on his cock. He responded with equal fervor and when we parted for air he pointed to his jeans.
“Back…pocket.” He panted out with shaky breaths. I got up and pulled a small package from his back pocket. Opening it I walked back to the bed and slid the condom down his length in a slow teasing manner. Straddling him once again I began to lower myself onto him when he rolled me over so he was on top.
I gasped and stared at him. He smirked at me and lowered his head, sucking my right nipple into his mouth, his left hand rubbing the neglected breast. I moaned hard and raised my hips to him.
As he playfully bit my nipple he entered me in one swift motion. I winced. I hadn’t been with anyone for six years and the feeling was uncomfortable. I brought my hips to his as he started a slow pace, and the pain began to fade. I tried to keep up as his thrusts came quicker and harder, the sounds of sweaty skin slapping together filling the room. I panted hard feeling his shaft close to where I wanted him to be but not close enough. I felt the pressure building and I was getting frustrated again until Koga reached between us and rubbed my clit before gently pinching it.
With a loud moan I threw my head back and came, Koga following in suit a moment later. Rolling off of me he tied off the used condom and threw it in the small trashcan near my dresser. Walking over he laid next to me and wrapped an arm around me as I laid my head on his chest. Pulling the covers over us he kissed my forehead before falling into a light sleep. My body was tired and I felt mentally exhausted. I fell asleep almost instantly laying in Koga’s arms with guilt eating away at the back of my mind.
I had been asleep for about and hour when I heard the apartment buzzer sound. Glancing at my alarm clock I noticed it was 10:30. Opting to go back to sleep and ignore it I was forced to get up when whoever it was continued to incessantly ring the buzzer. Grumbling quietly I got up, put on my panties and a large t-shirt before walking to the door. I didn’t want Koga or any of the neighbors to wake up because of the constant noise. Hitting the buzzer I walked to the front door and opened it.
My eyes bulged and my breath stilled. There stood Inuyasha his hand leaning on the door frame while I stayed partially behind the door blocking his entry. Before I could say a word he started talking, his sentence coming out in a rush.
“I’m sorry I know its late but there was something that I had to tell you. I just…” His words stopped there as his eyes moved to stare behind me. I knew why when I felt Koga’s arm encircle my waist as he came to stand behind me in only his boxers.
“Is there a problem here Kagome?” Koga asked staring Inuyasha down the whole time. I saw the heated looks they were giving each other as Inuyasha looked from me then back to Koga.
“No, everything’s fine. I’ll be back in a minute.” I said quickly, kissing his cheek. He nodded once and gave Inuyasha one final glare before walking back into the bedroom. Inuyasha’s eyes followed him until the door was shut, then he turned them back to me. His eyes scanned me, quickly looking over what I was wearing. Then I saw his eyes flick to my discarded dress on the floor.
I saw his face flash with registration before he locked stormy, angry eyes at me, his face set in a scowl. I crumpled under the intensity of his stare and hung my head down. The look he was giving me made me feel guilty and ashamed. I felt dirty under his intense scrutiny and shifted my weight from foot to foot in a nervous habit I picked up as a kid.
I don’t know what had him so angry, but Inuyasha had the power to invoke feelings in me with the intensity in his eyes. He had always been able to do that, though I have no idea how.
When I finally looked up at him after a long pause he spoke again, this time in a clipped tone that was clearly equivalent with his maddened expression.
“You two make a cute couple, you know that?” he asked, though I doubt he expected me to answer. “Sorry to interrupt.” He said before turning and rushing down the stairs. I stood rooted, my hand still on the doorknob as I heard the door slam. His words made me feel like nothing short of a whore and I couldn’t understand why they hurt me so much. Had it been anyone else I wouldn’t have cared, but for some fateful reason it just had to be him.
Lowering my head to stare at the ground I slowly shut the door and locked it before returning to bed. I climbed in next to Koga, but kept my distance from him. I was glad he was already asleep when I walked in. I laid there staring at the wall as Koga rolled toward me and pulled me against his back. Inuyasha’s words rang in my head over and over like a bad song you just cant seem to erase from your mind. I laid there in Koga’s arms once again feeling the love from his embrace. This time however, I didn’t fall asleep right away.
I woke up early the next morning, to my surprise Koga wasn’t laying next to me. I got up and wrapped my robe around me, walking into the kitchen I saw him making breakfast and couldn’t help but smile.
“Good morning.” He stated grinning at me like a child in a candy store. His enthusiasm was contagious as I smiled back at him.
“Good morning.” I replied, laughing lightly. As I stepped near him to help with breakfast he grabbed me by my shoulders and steered me to a chair.
“You sit down. I’ve got it.” I nodded briefly and thanked him as he handed me a cup of coffee. I took a slow sip, enjoying the taste as I watched him run around the kitchen, putting toast in the toaster, flipping the pancakes and the bacon before they burnt. I had to struggle to keep from laughing out loud at him. As he pulled the toast out his back was to me and that’s when I got a question I wasn’t expecting.
“Kagome?”
“Hmmm?”
“Who was that guy at the door last night?” At his question I nearly dropped my coffee cup onto the floor. I took a long sip of it hoping to delay the inevitable. I didn’t know how to put it, or even to explain what Inuyasha was doing here, for I myself had no idea what the answer was.
“I knew him in high school. His name is Inuyasha.” I saw Koga nod with his back still turned to me as he moved the finished pancakes from the pan to the plate.
“What was he doing here?”
“He didn’t say.” And again he nodded. I could tell he was apprehensive about the entire situation, but what could I say. Anything I could have told him would do nothing to ease his mind. Telling him that Inuyasha was my high school sweetheart and Taro’s father wouldn’t help his suspicions much. So I stayed quiet and we seemed to accept what was said for neither of us said anything else about it after that.
“What time did you get up?” I asked as he laid the plates of food out on the table.
“Early. I had a good night’s sleep.” He said winking at me before sitting across from me. I nodded, my cheeks turning a light pink at his insinuation. For the rest of the morning we just talked about idle things as we ate breakfast, my mind occasionally wandering to Inuyasha. I’m not sure what he wanted, but for some reason I couldn’t shake wanting to know the reason.
Dinner with Sango and her parents was in a few days and I hadn’t seen Inuyasha at all since that night with Koga. To my relief Koga didn’t ask any more questions regarding Inuyasha and his appearance the other night. What could I say? I already had my chance to tell him, but I omitted the details both times. Eventually I would have to tell him, and I’m sure he would be angry for me keeping something like this from him for so long. He has a right to be, I just don’t know how to face him. I don’t know if I could face him. Though I never said much, omitting certain things can still make you guilty, can still make you a liar. After all the deception remains, with or without the words.
Naraku hadn’t spoken to me at work either, not even a ‘good morning.’ I wasn’t sure whether or not to be grateful about that. Most likely he was pissed about something, but I paid it no mind.
Sango didn’t mention anymore surprise visits from Inuyasha either. I thought that was strange. I know he didn’t want to see me at the time, but I thought he would visit Taro without the risk of seeing me there. After that night I wasn’t sure what to think about things anymore. Inuyasha was angry, that much I knew. Why? I have no idea, but I wasn’t looking forward to finding out no matter how curious I was to know the answer.
Friday came around quicker than I had anticipated. I was both anxious and dreading it at the same time, though I don’t know why. It just felt like I should have stayed home. You know that little voice in your head that tells you when something isn’t a good idea? Well I told it to shut up and me and Koga drove to my mom’s to drop off Taro.
My mom, grandpa, and little brother all lived at the family shrine in Tokyo. I did too for most of my life before I moved as far away as I could and the memories of my past while still living in my hometown.
Koga walked me to the door my hand in his, Taro’s in mine as we hiked up the many stairs of the shrine. Once we reached the top Taro immediately let go of my hand and ran to the front door where his grandmother was waiting with open arms.
“Grandma!” He yelled hugging her knees.
“Well hello. How is my sweet grandson?” she asked as she knelt down to him and gave him a small kiss on his forehead. I knew what was coming and saw Koga smiling at the scene they made. I tamped down the urge to roll my eyes at the whole thing. Nothing new, happens every time. My mother gushes over him, he gets more spoiled, then I have to deal with it.
“I have something for you. Why don’t you go inside there’s a piece of chocolate cake at the table and I think its for you.” Taro nodded enthusiastically before running into the house yelling a mere ‘bye mommy’ at the thought of chocolate cake. I smiled and turned to my mother as she rose from her kneeling position.
“Kagome, it’s been a while since your last visit. Stop hiding my grandson.” she laughed and moved to hug me.
“I will.” I answered returning her hug. I pulled away and noticed my mother looking at Koga curiously.
“Oh, sorry.” I rushed out “Mom, this is my boyfriend Koga. Koga this is my mother.” Koga stuck his hand out to shake but my mom pulled him into a short hug. He looked surprised but hugged back just the same.
“Nice to meet you Mrs. Higurashi.”
“Very nice to meet you as well Koga. You take care of my daughter you hear.” she said with false harshness.
“Mom.” I urged embarrassed. Her and Koga merely laughed at my plight before Koga put his arm around me and kissed my temple.
“Would you like to come in for some tea or chocolate cake.”
“No thanks mom, we have to get going if we’re going to make it on time. Thanks for watching him, I appreciate it. Oh and don’t spoil him too much.”
“It’s no problem. I wish I could see him more often. And well I cant promise anything about not spoiling him.”
“Just do your best.” I said kissing her on the cheek.
“It was nice meeting you Koga, you come back now you hear me?”
“Of course Mrs. Higurashi, I wouldn’t dream of letting you down.” He replied as we started walking towards the stairs. After giving a short wave we continued down the stairs and drove to Sango’s in silence. Since it was a nice dinner place I decided to wear my favorite black dress. It hugged my curves tight, flared out at the bottom around my knees. It was off the shoulder and had a matching wrap. I put on very little make-up with red lipstick and eyeliner, my hair done in a French roll with one tendril that curled behind my right ear. Koga decided to wear something to match me and wore a silk, black button-up long sleeve shirt, with a pair of black dress pants. He had his hair pulled into a low ponytail and looked genuinely handsome.
I started to feel nervous as we pulled into Sango’s. We walked to the door and Koga knocked. Sango answered the door wearing a maroon dress that went down to her ankles but had a long slit up each side of the dress to just above her knees. Her make-up was done in colors to match, her hair done up in a neat bun with two pink hair sticks holding it in place. Sango pulled me into a hug before I even got through the door.
A few minutes later Miroku walked out of the kitchen wearing a white dress shirt and black pants, his hair pulled into his usual ponytail at the nape of his neck.
“Thanks for coming tonight you guys.” Sango said addressing both Koga and I. Koga nodded saying:
“Of course, it was no problem. Thanks for inviting us.” Sango nodded in return when Miroku interrupted.
“Well is everybody ready? We’re suppose to meet your parents there at 6:30.” We all nodded and drove to the House of Phung with me and Koga following behind Sango and Miroku.
We arrived at the restaurant at 6:40 and met Sango’s parents in the waiting area. They immediately stood and hugged both Sango and Miroku before turning to look at me.
“Oh my God, Kagome?” I nodded meekly to Sango’s mother at her question.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Keiji.” Sango’s father stepped forward as Mrs. Keiji embraced me.
“My goodness, little Kagome, its been a long time since we’ve seen you.”
“I know. Not since I moved.” I agreed.
“Well, how’s Taro?” Mr. Keiji asked. “He should be turning what is it? Five?”
“Six in a week.” I answered, and smiled.
“Who is this young man?” Mrs. Keiji inquired, turning to Koga.
“This is my boyfriend Koga.”
“Well, I hope he treats you better than…”
“MOM! Don’t you think we should see if our table’s ready?” Sango cut in quickly, and I smiled at her in thanks. She gave me a meaningful look as we followed the waiter to our table. Mr. and Mrs. Keiji sat across from Sango and Miroku, I was seated between Sango and Koga. But there were two chairs empty across from me and Koga.
“Mom, dad? Why did you get a table for eight? There’s only six of us?” Sango asked eyeing the empty seats.
“Well,” her father started, looking at the menu “The best man is also coming correct? And I believe Miroku said he was bringing a date. You never told me Inuyasha was the best man Sango.” Her father finished as Sango shot a glare at her fiancé . Suddenly we heard a loud ‘oof’ from Miroku while Sango looked away innocently as Miroku grabbed his shin in pain.
“Oh, I didn’t tell you? Yeah, Inuyasha and Miroku met in college and now he’s the best man. Small world isn’t it?” She asked the whole time sending looks that promised pain to her soon-to-be husband across from her.
“And getting smaller.” I said as I saw the waiter walking toward our table with the man of conversation behind him.
“I hope you guys didn’t order without us.” Inuyasha said as he took the seat across from me and his date sat down next to him. It was the same woman I saw with him at the engagement party. The same beautiful woman hanging on his arm, the same beautiful woman I wanted with everything in me to blame for it all. But I couldn’t.
“No, but if you weren’t late you wouldn’t have to worry about it.” Sango quipped from her seat never taking her eyes off the menu.
“Sorry, got held up in traffic.” He answered.
“Why don’t you introduce your date there, Inuyasha?” asked Mr. Keiji, while I kept my eyes on the menu, trying to hide behind it as if it would shield me from Inuyasha and his happy relationship and his girlfriend.
“Oh right!” he answered embarrassed, “Sorry. Everyone this is Kikyo. Kikyo, this is Mr. and Mrs. Keiji, you know Sango and Miroku.” she nodded. “This is Kagome and….” he trailed off not knowing Koga’s name.
“Koga.” he supplied.
“Well, its nice to meet you Ms. Kikyo.” Mr. Keiji acknowledged while Kikyo nodded to him.
“Nice to meet you all.” She answered politely. Now I knew her name. It was Kikyo. Before she was just ‘the other woman,’ but now she was Kikyo. Not just some nightmare in my mind, but Inuyasha’s girlfriend. And she had a name, which made her an actual person and not just some unknown face in a crowded room full of strangers. She was Kikyo, the woman he left me for.
Setting my menu down I stood up and said a quick ‘excuse me’ before heading to the bathroom. I sat in the stall trying to get a hold of myself when I heard someone else come in.’
“Kagome? It’s Sango. Are you okay?” she asked. I opened the door and nodded.
“Yeah its just… I don’t know.”
“I do. I’m sorry Kagome, I didn’t know Miroku invited him.”
“I could tell. I’m, guessing he’ll have a large bruise on his leg since your wearing heals?” I asked laughing a little. She began laughing too and answered:
“Yeah. You heard that huh?”
“Duh! It wasn’t exactly subtle. I knew you were going to do that.”
“Yeah I know. So are you okay to go back there?”
“Yeah. I am now.” She nodded and we walked back to the table together. When I returned I noticed Kikyo eyeing me strangely and that Inuyasha and Koga were participating in a glaring contest.
“There you are ladies,” Miroku said as we sat down again. “We ordered while you were gone. Sango I got your favorite.” He said.
“Koga did you…” I started but Inuyasha cut in.
“No I did. Chicken and broccoli. I hope its still your favorite?” he asked looking at me. I nodded staring into his eyes as he looked at me oddly. Unable to hold his stare I turned to glance at Koga, who was still glaring at Inuyasha. That’s when I saw Kikyo, she was still looking at me, only her eyes were slightly narrowed in my direction. I could tell it was going to be the longest dinner of my life.
As we waited for our food Inuyasha and Koga had begun conversing, but not in a very polite way. It seemed they were the only two at the table.
“So how long have you and Kagome been seeing each other?” Inuyasha asked Koga with a very fake polite voice and an underlying toe of sarcasm.
“Almost two months.” He responded in the same tone.
“Two months?” he answered smartly “Well, better start picking out furniture.” I sighed as everyone at the table watched the two men face off. Trying to stop the oncoming argument I cut into the conversation quickly.
“How about a dance?” I said turning to Koga and putting my hand on his shoulder. He nodded, got up, took my hand and led me to the dance floor near our table.
“That sounds like a good idea.” Sango agreed, grabbing Miroku’s hand and following behind us to the dance floor. Soon after, Inuyasha and Kikyo got up to dance as well. Inuyasha was dancing a few couples away from me and Koga, his eyes on us the whole time as his head leaned on Kikyo’s shoulder while she held him close.
“You look beautiful tonight.” Koga complimented. “I love this dress.” He finished and gave me a small kiss on the mouth.
As I laid my head back on his shoulder I saw Inuyasha lock eyes with me and grin. Pulling Kikyo close he began to kiss her neck and she giggled. I looked away disgusted by his behavior. For some reason unknown to me I looked back curious to see what else they were doing. I saw him practically groping her on the dance floor. The whole time his eyes held mine, and the cocky smirk never left his stupid face.
Not understanding why I was letting him get to me I pulled Koga closer and kissed him full on, never breaking eye contact with Inuyasha. Inuyasha’s smirk merely grew as he kissed Kikyo while fondling her bum, and not so subtly grinding against her.
I pulled away from Koga making a disgusted sound and walked back to the table with fast steps as Koga followed behind me confused. I sat down and ordered a apple martini and kept my eyes turned to the table. I couldn’t believe him. He was acting like such a pig, deliberately trying to piss me off. The real reason I was mad was because I let him get to me. I wouldn’t acknowledge the part of my mind that whispered there was more to it than that.
Sango and Miroku sat down soon after while I finished the apple martini in one gulp. Inuyasha and Kikyo returned to the table right before our food arrived. I knew Inuyasha was looking at me, but I kept my eyes down as I ate and stayed quiet while Sango went over some wedding details with her parents.
“Are you okay?” Koga asked, looking at me concerned. I looked up and smiled reassuringly.
“Fine.” I answered looking at Inuyasha when I answered. He leaned over and whispered something to Kikyo. She blushed and giggled hitting his arm playfully. I became more irritated when Inuyasha began rubbing her back and kept kissing her on the cheek or neck. I sat there picking at my food, pushing it around my plate and only took about three bites. Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Why don’t you leave the poor girl alone for a while Inuyasha? I’m sure she could find it easier to eat without you drooling on her.” I spit out sarcastically before thinking. I couldn’t help it. I knew he was doing it on purpose to get to me and the sad part was, it was working.
“Just showing my girl some affection.” He answered rudely, while Kikyo suddenly looked embarrassed about our conversation.
“Obviously. Though you look more like a dog in heat.” I answered dryly. Everyone was watching our heated exchange with open jaws. I stood up and rushed out.
“Excuse me I’m going out to get some air. I’ll be right back.” I said getting up and heading for the door. I sat down on the one of the benches outside and put my head down staring at my knees. I was currently muttering about ‘assholes’ when I felt someone sit next to me.
“Air huh?” I looked up at the voice and saw Inuyasha smirking at me. “Looks to me your pissed about something.”
“You a stalker now or something? Why aren’t you in there groping your girlfriend?” I asked in a clipped tone.
“So that’s what your mad about?” he asked, and smirked again. Right then I wanted to kick him, preferably in a painful spot below the waist with my three inch heels.
“You really think I care in the slightest what you do? I don’t give a damn about you. Not anymore. That all changed about six years ago. You remember that though of course.”
“If you don’t care than why are you acting like a bitch? Your jealous.” Then I laughed at him, but there was no humor in it. I didn’t recognize my own voice, or the person talking when I answered him. This wasn’t me, but for some reason Inuyasha always managed to get under my skin.
“Jealous. Why would I be jealous? Kikyo has to spend her time with an asshole like you. Honestly, I pity her. After all you were trying awfully hard in there to make your relationship with her apparent to me. Really pathetic, you trying so hard to make me angry. Sad that your attempts were in vain.”
“Not from where I’m sitting they weren’t.”
“I have an idea. Why don’t you go jump off a cliff and make sure to land on your neck?”
“How original.” he answered dryly. There was a long stretch of silence before either of us spoke again. All my anger had ebbed away, leaving only that bitter aching I have come to know well over the past six years.
“Why?” I said turning to look at him again. This time the voice was mine, and it cracked.
“Why what?”
“Why did you do that? Do you get some sort of pleasure from trying to hurt me? Do you like rubbing it in that you left me for her? Huh? Do you?” I asked solemnly. This time he dropped his head, looking ashamed.
“I’m sorry. I don’t like to hurt you Kagome, no matter what you may think. You know after all these years its still weird seeing you with another guy. I guess I was just trying to take it out on you. Funny huh? After everything its still hard not to care.”
I looked up surprised at his response. Our eyes locked and we just sat there staring at each other. My eyes began to water and I no longer thought about the people inside waiting for my return, or what they might think about Inuyasha’s sudden disappearance. All I could think about was the man on the bench next to me. All I could see was Inuyasha, the one I used to love, not the monster that I wanted him to be. That I needed him to be.
I turned my head from his instantly. I felt something flutter inside me, like butterflies, but more like tingles. And I didn’t like it. When I looked away I found my voice again. Except he spoke first.
“Kagome?”
“Hmmm?& #8221;
“Do you ever think about us? What we had?” he asked in a tender whisper and I thought at first my old dreams were lingering behind, or perhaps I heard him wrong. When I looked up and saw his eyes shining with something I couldn’t quite understand I knew I wasn’t wrong.
“There is no us Inuyasha. You know that. As far as what we had, well, that ended a long time ago. No use in thinking about it now.” I answered both saddened by his reaction, and the answer I, myself gave in response to his hurtful question.
He nodded and grabbed my hand in his own. Entwining our fingers together and I made no attempt to pull my hand free. I made no attempt at all to respond in any way. I sat there numb over my thoughts and his question. I felt the warmth of his larger hand seep into my once chilled skin, and turned to look at him again.
He only smiled. I didn’t know what to make of what was happening on that cold bench outside the restaurant, but I smiled back in earnest briefly wondering what was happening to me and why I all of a sudden felt so jaded.
Warning: This chapter contains sexual content so if your underage or don’t like it, don’t read. No complaints, you have been warned.
A/N: First I would like to say that I am so SORRY for the very long update. I went to Texas for a while to visit my sister who just had a baby. I’m a proud Auntie!! Thanks for all the reviews guys, they really make me smile! And again sorry if the spacing is messed up, I’m still trying to fix it. This chapter is also my first attempt at a lemon so let me know how I did please. For the record, since a lot of people don’t like Koga I didn’t want to write a very raunchy sex scene b/w Kag/Kog. Anyway, Thanks a lot for being patient and don’t forget to review.
Chapter 13: Jaded
I heard the door close as Koga kicked it shut with his foot upon entering my room. He walked me over to the bed and laid me down gently. Leaning his head in he kissed me again softly, his long hair tickling the bare skin of my shoulders.
I kissed him back, more feverishly, I was in no mood to be gentle. I was in the mood to conquer and I would take what I wanted. He responded to the kiss then pulled away slightly to trail kisses down my neck. I felt his tongue trace the line of my collarbone before sucking on the skin of my neck.
Immediately I felt the moisture gather between my legs as he paid special attention to my weak spot. Slowly his hand traveled the length of my body coming to a stop at my center. His hand cupped me there and my breath caught. He dragged his knuckles along the length of my covered opening and I heard him moan when I breathed out a broken version of his name.
I started to pant and my breathing became ragged when he started massaging my clit through the thin material of my panties. My mind was somewhere else, but by body was blazing. I hadn’t been touched like this in years and I wanted more.
Of their own accord my hips began bucking into his hand, silently begging him to go further. I began to busy myself by kissing his neck and biting his ear when I felt his finger slip past the barrier of my panties and passed my outer lips.
He rubbed my clit in slow circles and I broke away from him panting and gasping for air. He smirked at me before pushing his finger inside me. I moaned and heard him begin to pant as he started thrusting the digit inside me.
My eyes were closed and I felt his lips touching mine again. I tried to concentrate but my mind was too hazy and wrapped up in the motion of his finger as my hips lifted from the bed matching his rhythm.
I felt the warmth beginning to pool in my tummy and knew I was close to coming. Just as I was almost there Koga pulled away from me completely and I nearly cried out in frustration.
I looked at him a few inches from the bed as he stood before me undoing the buttons of his shirt. I watched him, undoing one by one until I sat up and got before him on my knees sitting near the edge of the bed. Grabbing his shirt I literally ripped it open sending the rest of the buttons everywhere. He looked me in the eye with a shocked expression and I smirked before kissing him again.
I ran my hand down the newly exposed skin of his lean, muscular chest. Kissing my way down his neck I licked his nipple, delighting in the small hiss he gave, and continued to the waistline of his jeans. I pulled the button open while massaging his hardened member through the material of his pants. I smiled as I heard him moan my name.
Pulling his pants down he kicked his shoes off. I slid my hands up his legs sensually never taking my eyes from his. Stopping at his boxers I hooked my fingers inside and pulled them down.
Koga was sexy, and had a great body no doubt, but he was average in the girth department. Raising my hand to my mouth I licked it, using my saliva as lubrication before running it over his shaft. Listening to his intake of breath I went on, squeezing slightly as I stroked him from base to tip slowly. I felt him thrust into my hand needing it faster. Wordlessly, I complied and began to pick up my pace while my other hand came up to massage his balls.
When I felt his pre-cum begin to drip from the tip he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to stand in front of him. My wrist still captive in his hold he used it to pull me flush against him and kissed me hard, forcing his tongue into my mouth tasting me hungrily. Pulling away from him I reached my hand behind me and undid the clasp of my bra letting it fall to the floor. He gave me an appreciative look before he slid his fingers along the undersides of my breasts. His hands were cold and caused goose bumps to rise on my skin and my nipples to harden.
When I began walking forward Koga took a step back the backs of his legs touching the bed. I nudged him gently watching as he fell backwards onto the bed. I stood in front of him, pulling my panties off and throwing them to the side before climbing on top of him. I rubbed myself against him as I dragged myself along his body, stopping when we were face to face.
“I want you now.” I whispered before kissing him passionately and rubbing my slick juices on his cock. He responded with equal fervor and when we parted for air he pointed to his jeans.
“Back…pocket.” He panted out with shaky breaths. I got up and pulled a small package from his back pocket. Opening it I walked back to the bed and slid the condom down his length in a slow teasing manner. Straddling him once again I began to lower myself onto him when he rolled me over so he was on top.
I gasped and stared at him. He smirked at me and lowered his head, sucking my right nipple into his mouth, his left hand rubbing the neglected breast. I moaned hard and raised my hips to him.
As he playfully bit my nipple he entered me in one swift motion. I winced. I hadn’t been with anyone for six years and the feeling was uncomfortable. I brought my hips to his as he started a slow pace, and the pain began to fade. I tried to keep up as his thrusts came quicker and harder, the sounds of sweaty skin slapping together filling the room. I panted hard feeling his shaft close to where I wanted him to be but not close enough. I felt the pressure building and I was getting frustrated again until Koga reached between us and rubbed my clit before gently pinching it.
With a loud moan I threw my head back and came, Koga following in suit a moment later. Rolling off of me he tied off the used condom and threw it in the small trashcan near my dresser. Walking over he laid next to me and wrapped an arm around me as I laid my head on his chest. Pulling the covers over us he kissed my forehead before falling into a light sleep. My body was tired and I felt mentally exhausted. I fell asleep almost instantly laying in Koga’s arms with guilt eating away at the back of my mind.
I had been asleep for about and hour when I heard the apartment buzzer sound. Glancing at my alarm clock I noticed it was 10:30. Opting to go back to sleep and ignore it I was forced to get up when whoever it was continued to incessantly ring the buzzer. Grumbling quietly I got up, put on my panties and a large t-shirt before walking to the door. I didn’t want Koga or any of the neighbors to wake up because of the constant noise. Hitting the buzzer I walked to the front door and opened it.
My eyes bulged and my breath stilled. There stood Inuyasha his hand leaning on the door frame while I stayed partially behind the door blocking his entry. Before I could say a word he started talking, his sentence coming out in a rush.
“I’m sorry I know its late but there was something that I had to tell you. I just…” His words stopped there as his eyes moved to stare behind me. I knew why when I felt Koga’s arm encircle my waist as he came to stand behind me in only his boxers.
“Is there a problem here Kagome?” Koga asked staring Inuyasha down the whole time. I saw the heated looks they were giving each other as Inuyasha looked from me then back to Koga.
“No, everything’s fine. I’ll be back in a minute.” I said quickly, kissing his cheek. He nodded once and gave Inuyasha one final glare before walking back into the bedroom. Inuyasha’s eyes followed him until the door was shut, then he turned them back to me. His eyes scanned me, quickly looking over what I was wearing. Then I saw his eyes flick to my discarded dress on the floor.
I saw his face flash with registration before he locked stormy, angry eyes at me, his face set in a scowl. I crumpled under the intensity of his stare and hung my head down. The look he was giving me made me feel guilty and ashamed. I felt dirty under his intense scrutiny and shifted my weight from foot to foot in a nervous habit I picked up as a kid.
I don’t know what had him so angry, but Inuyasha had the power to invoke feelings in me with the intensity in his eyes. He had always been able to do that, though I have no idea how.
When I finally looked up at him after a long pause he spoke again, this time in a clipped tone that was clearly equivalent with his maddened expression.
“You two make a cute couple, you know that?” he asked, though I doubt he expected me to answer. “Sorry to interrupt.” He said before turning and rushing down the stairs. I stood rooted, my hand still on the doorknob as I heard the door slam. His words made me feel like nothing short of a whore and I couldn’t understand why they hurt me so much. Had it been anyone else I wouldn’t have cared, but for some fateful reason it just had to be him.
Lowering my head to stare at the ground I slowly shut the door and locked it before returning to bed. I climbed in next to Koga, but kept my distance from him. I was glad he was already asleep when I walked in. I laid there staring at the wall as Koga rolled toward me and pulled me against his back. Inuyasha’s words rang in my head over and over like a bad song you just cant seem to erase from your mind. I laid there in Koga’s arms once again feeling the love from his embrace. This time however, I didn’t fall asleep right away.
I woke up early the next morning, to my surprise Koga wasn’t laying next to me. I got up and wrapped my robe around me, walking into the kitchen I saw him making breakfast and couldn’t help but smile.
“Good morning.” He stated grinning at me like a child in a candy store. His enthusiasm was contagious as I smiled back at him.
“Good morning.” I replied, laughing lightly. As I stepped near him to help with breakfast he grabbed me by my shoulders and steered me to a chair.
“You sit down. I’ve got it.” I nodded briefly and thanked him as he handed me a cup of coffee. I took a slow sip, enjoying the taste as I watched him run around the kitchen, putting toast in the toaster, flipping the pancakes and the bacon before they burnt. I had to struggle to keep from laughing out loud at him. As he pulled the toast out his back was to me and that’s when I got a question I wasn’t expecting.
“Kagome?”
“Hmmm?”
“Who was that guy at the door last night?” At his question I nearly dropped my coffee cup onto the floor. I took a long sip of it hoping to delay the inevitable. I didn’t know how to put it, or even to explain what Inuyasha was doing here, for I myself had no idea what the answer was.
“I knew him in high school. His name is Inuyasha.” I saw Koga nod with his back still turned to me as he moved the finished pancakes from the pan to the plate.
“What was he doing here?”
“He didn’t say.” And again he nodded. I could tell he was apprehensive about the entire situation, but what could I say. Anything I could have told him would do nothing to ease his mind. Telling him that Inuyasha was my high school sweetheart and Taro’s father wouldn’t help his suspicions much. So I stayed quiet and we seemed to accept what was said for neither of us said anything else about it after that.
“What time did you get up?” I asked as he laid the plates of food out on the table.
“Early. I had a good night’s sleep.” He said winking at me before sitting across from me. I nodded, my cheeks turning a light pink at his insinuation. For the rest of the morning we just talked about idle things as we ate breakfast, my mind occasionally wandering to Inuyasha. I’m not sure what he wanted, but for some reason I couldn’t shake wanting to know the reason.
Dinner with Sango and her parents was in a few days and I hadn’t seen Inuyasha at all since that night with Koga. To my relief Koga didn’t ask any more questions regarding Inuyasha and his appearance the other night. What could I say? I already had my chance to tell him, but I omitted the details both times. Eventually I would have to tell him, and I’m sure he would be angry for me keeping something like this from him for so long. He has a right to be, I just don’t know how to face him. I don’t know if I could face him. Though I never said much, omitting certain things can still make you guilty, can still make you a liar. After all the deception remains, with or without the words.
Naraku hadn’t spoken to me at work either, not even a ‘good morning.’ I wasn’t sure whether or not to be grateful about that. Most likely he was pissed about something, but I paid it no mind.
Sango didn’t mention anymore surprise visits from Inuyasha either. I thought that was strange. I know he didn’t want to see me at the time, but I thought he would visit Taro without the risk of seeing me there. After that night I wasn’t sure what to think about things anymore. Inuyasha was angry, that much I knew. Why? I have no idea, but I wasn’t looking forward to finding out no matter how curious I was to know the answer.
Friday came around quicker than I had anticipated. I was both anxious and dreading it at the same time, though I don’t know why. It just felt like I should have stayed home. You know that little voice in your head that tells you when something isn’t a good idea? Well I told it to shut up and me and Koga drove to my mom’s to drop off Taro.
My mom, grandpa, and little brother all lived at the family shrine in Tokyo. I did too for most of my life before I moved as far away as I could and the memories of my past while still living in my hometown.
Koga walked me to the door my hand in his, Taro’s in mine as we hiked up the many stairs of the shrine. Once we reached the top Taro immediately let go of my hand and ran to the front door where his grandmother was waiting with open arms.
“Grandma!” He yelled hugging her knees.
“Well hello. How is my sweet grandson?” she asked as she knelt down to him and gave him a small kiss on his forehead. I knew what was coming and saw Koga smiling at the scene they made. I tamped down the urge to roll my eyes at the whole thing. Nothing new, happens every time. My mother gushes over him, he gets more spoiled, then I have to deal with it.
“I have something for you. Why don’t you go inside there’s a piece of chocolate cake at the table and I think its for you.” Taro nodded enthusiastically before running into the house yelling a mere ‘bye mommy’ at the thought of chocolate cake. I smiled and turned to my mother as she rose from her kneeling position.
“Kagome, it’s been a while since your last visit. Stop hiding my grandson.” she laughed and moved to hug me.
“I will.” I answered returning her hug. I pulled away and noticed my mother looking at Koga curiously.
“Oh, sorry.” I rushed out “Mom, this is my boyfriend Koga. Koga this is my mother.” Koga stuck his hand out to shake but my mom pulled him into a short hug. He looked surprised but hugged back just the same.
“Nice to meet you Mrs. Higurashi.”
“Very nice to meet you as well Koga. You take care of my daughter you hear.” she said with false harshness.
“Mom.” I urged embarrassed. Her and Koga merely laughed at my plight before Koga put his arm around me and kissed my temple.
“Would you like to come in for some tea or chocolate cake.”
“No thanks mom, we have to get going if we’re going to make it on time. Thanks for watching him, I appreciate it. Oh and don’t spoil him too much.”
“It’s no problem. I wish I could see him more often. And well I cant promise anything about not spoiling him.”
“Just do your best.” I said kissing her on the cheek.
“It was nice meeting you Koga, you come back now you hear me?”
“Of course Mrs. Higurashi, I wouldn’t dream of letting you down.” He replied as we started walking towards the stairs. After giving a short wave we continued down the stairs and drove to Sango’s in silence. Since it was a nice dinner place I decided to wear my favorite black dress. It hugged my curves tight, flared out at the bottom around my knees. It was off the shoulder and had a matching wrap. I put on very little make-up with red lipstick and eyeliner, my hair done in a French roll with one tendril that curled behind my right ear. Koga decided to wear something to match me and wore a silk, black button-up long sleeve shirt, with a pair of black dress pants. He had his hair pulled into a low ponytail and looked genuinely handsome.
I started to feel nervous as we pulled into Sango’s. We walked to the door and Koga knocked. Sango answered the door wearing a maroon dress that went down to her ankles but had a long slit up each side of the dress to just above her knees. Her make-up was done in colors to match, her hair done up in a neat bun with two pink hair sticks holding it in place. Sango pulled me into a hug before I even got through the door.
A few minutes later Miroku walked out of the kitchen wearing a white dress shirt and black pants, his hair pulled into his usual ponytail at the nape of his neck.
“Thanks for coming tonight you guys.” Sango said addressing both Koga and I. Koga nodded saying:
“Of course, it was no problem. Thanks for inviting us.” Sango nodded in return when Miroku interrupted.
“Well is everybody ready? We’re suppose to meet your parents there at 6:30.” We all nodded and drove to the House of Phung with me and Koga following behind Sango and Miroku.
We arrived at the restaurant at 6:40 and met Sango’s parents in the waiting area. They immediately stood and hugged both Sango and Miroku before turning to look at me.
“Oh my God, Kagome?” I nodded meekly to Sango’s mother at her question.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Keiji.” Sango’s father stepped forward as Mrs. Keiji embraced me.
“My goodness, little Kagome, its been a long time since we’ve seen you.”
“I know. Not since I moved.” I agreed.
“Well, how’s Taro?” Mr. Keiji asked. “He should be turning what is it? Five?”
“Six in a week.” I answered, and smiled.
“Who is this young man?” Mrs. Keiji inquired, turning to Koga.
“This is my boyfriend Koga.”
“Well, I hope he treats you better than…”
“MOM! Don’t you think we should see if our table’s ready?” Sango cut in quickly, and I smiled at her in thanks. She gave me a meaningful look as we followed the waiter to our table. Mr. and Mrs. Keiji sat across from Sango and Miroku, I was seated between Sango and Koga. But there were two chairs empty across from me and Koga.
“Mom, dad? Why did you get a table for eight? There’s only six of us?” Sango asked eyeing the empty seats.
“Well,” her father started, looking at the menu “The best man is also coming correct? And I believe Miroku said he was bringing a date. You never told me Inuyasha was the best man Sango.” Her father finished as Sango shot a glare at her fiancé . Suddenly we heard a loud ‘oof’ from Miroku while Sango looked away innocently as Miroku grabbed his shin in pain.
“Oh, I didn’t tell you? Yeah, Inuyasha and Miroku met in college and now he’s the best man. Small world isn’t it?” She asked the whole time sending looks that promised pain to her soon-to-be husband across from her.
“And getting smaller.” I said as I saw the waiter walking toward our table with the man of conversation behind him.
“I hope you guys didn’t order without us.” Inuyasha said as he took the seat across from me and his date sat down next to him. It was the same woman I saw with him at the engagement party. The same beautiful woman hanging on his arm, the same beautiful woman I wanted with everything in me to blame for it all. But I couldn’t.
“No, but if you weren’t late you wouldn’t have to worry about it.” Sango quipped from her seat never taking her eyes off the menu.
“Sorry, got held up in traffic.” He answered.
“Why don’t you introduce your date there, Inuyasha?” asked Mr. Keiji, while I kept my eyes on the menu, trying to hide behind it as if it would shield me from Inuyasha and his happy relationship and his girlfriend.
“Oh right!” he answered embarrassed, “Sorry. Everyone this is Kikyo. Kikyo, this is Mr. and Mrs. Keiji, you know Sango and Miroku.” she nodded. “This is Kagome and….” he trailed off not knowing Koga’s name.
“Koga.” he supplied.
“Well, its nice to meet you Ms. Kikyo.” Mr. Keiji acknowledged while Kikyo nodded to him.
“Nice to meet you all.” She answered politely. Now I knew her name. It was Kikyo. Before she was just ‘the other woman,’ but now she was Kikyo. Not just some nightmare in my mind, but Inuyasha’s girlfriend. And she had a name, which made her an actual person and not just some unknown face in a crowded room full of strangers. She was Kikyo, the woman he left me for.
Setting my menu down I stood up and said a quick ‘excuse me’ before heading to the bathroom. I sat in the stall trying to get a hold of myself when I heard someone else come in.’
“Kagome? It’s Sango. Are you okay?” she asked. I opened the door and nodded.
“Yeah its just… I don’t know.”
“I do. I’m sorry Kagome, I didn’t know Miroku invited him.”
“I could tell. I’m, guessing he’ll have a large bruise on his leg since your wearing heals?” I asked laughing a little. She began laughing too and answered:
“Yeah. You heard that huh?”
“Duh! It wasn’t exactly subtle. I knew you were going to do that.”
“Yeah I know. So are you okay to go back there?”
“Yeah. I am now.” She nodded and we walked back to the table together. When I returned I noticed Kikyo eyeing me strangely and that Inuyasha and Koga were participating in a glaring contest.
“There you are ladies,” Miroku said as we sat down again. “We ordered while you were gone. Sango I got your favorite.” He said.
“Koga did you…” I started but Inuyasha cut in.
“No I did. Chicken and broccoli. I hope its still your favorite?” he asked looking at me. I nodded staring into his eyes as he looked at me oddly. Unable to hold his stare I turned to glance at Koga, who was still glaring at Inuyasha. That’s when I saw Kikyo, she was still looking at me, only her eyes were slightly narrowed in my direction. I could tell it was going to be the longest dinner of my life.
As we waited for our food Inuyasha and Koga had begun conversing, but not in a very polite way. It seemed they were the only two at the table.
“So how long have you and Kagome been seeing each other?” Inuyasha asked Koga with a very fake polite voice and an underlying toe of sarcasm.
“Almost two months.” He responded in the same tone.
“Two months?” he answered smartly “Well, better start picking out furniture.” I sighed as everyone at the table watched the two men face off. Trying to stop the oncoming argument I cut into the conversation quickly.
“How about a dance?” I said turning to Koga and putting my hand on his shoulder. He nodded, got up, took my hand and led me to the dance floor near our table.
“That sounds like a good idea.” Sango agreed, grabbing Miroku’s hand and following behind us to the dance floor. Soon after, Inuyasha and Kikyo got up to dance as well. Inuyasha was dancing a few couples away from me and Koga, his eyes on us the whole time as his head leaned on Kikyo’s shoulder while she held him close.
“You look beautiful tonight.” Koga complimented. “I love this dress.” He finished and gave me a small kiss on the mouth.
As I laid my head back on his shoulder I saw Inuyasha lock eyes with me and grin. Pulling Kikyo close he began to kiss her neck and she giggled. I looked away disgusted by his behavior. For some reason unknown to me I looked back curious to see what else they were doing. I saw him practically groping her on the dance floor. The whole time his eyes held mine, and the cocky smirk never left his stupid face.
Not understanding why I was letting him get to me I pulled Koga closer and kissed him full on, never breaking eye contact with Inuyasha. Inuyasha’s smirk merely grew as he kissed Kikyo while fondling her bum, and not so subtly grinding against her.
I pulled away from Koga making a disgusted sound and walked back to the table with fast steps as Koga followed behind me confused. I sat down and ordered a apple martini and kept my eyes turned to the table. I couldn’t believe him. He was acting like such a pig, deliberately trying to piss me off. The real reason I was mad was because I let him get to me. I wouldn’t acknowledge the part of my mind that whispered there was more to it than that.
Sango and Miroku sat down soon after while I finished the apple martini in one gulp. Inuyasha and Kikyo returned to the table right before our food arrived. I knew Inuyasha was looking at me, but I kept my eyes down as I ate and stayed quiet while Sango went over some wedding details with her parents.
“Are you okay?” Koga asked, looking at me concerned. I looked up and smiled reassuringly.
“Fine.” I answered looking at Inuyasha when I answered. He leaned over and whispered something to Kikyo. She blushed and giggled hitting his arm playfully. I became more irritated when Inuyasha began rubbing her back and kept kissing her on the cheek or neck. I sat there picking at my food, pushing it around my plate and only took about three bites. Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Why don’t you leave the poor girl alone for a while Inuyasha? I’m sure she could find it easier to eat without you drooling on her.” I spit out sarcastically before thinking. I couldn’t help it. I knew he was doing it on purpose to get to me and the sad part was, it was working.
“Just showing my girl some affection.” He answered rudely, while Kikyo suddenly looked embarrassed about our conversation.
“Obviously. Though you look more like a dog in heat.” I answered dryly. Everyone was watching our heated exchange with open jaws. I stood up and rushed out.
“Excuse me I’m going out to get some air. I’ll be right back.” I said getting up and heading for the door. I sat down on the one of the benches outside and put my head down staring at my knees. I was currently muttering about ‘assholes’ when I felt someone sit next to me.
“Air huh?” I looked up at the voice and saw Inuyasha smirking at me. “Looks to me your pissed about something.”
“You a stalker now or something? Why aren’t you in there groping your girlfriend?” I asked in a clipped tone.
“So that’s what your mad about?” he asked, and smirked again. Right then I wanted to kick him, preferably in a painful spot below the waist with my three inch heels.
“You really think I care in the slightest what you do? I don’t give a damn about you. Not anymore. That all changed about six years ago. You remember that though of course.”
“If you don’t care than why are you acting like a bitch? Your jealous.” Then I laughed at him, but there was no humor in it. I didn’t recognize my own voice, or the person talking when I answered him. This wasn’t me, but for some reason Inuyasha always managed to get under my skin.
“Jealous. Why would I be jealous? Kikyo has to spend her time with an asshole like you. Honestly, I pity her. After all you were trying awfully hard in there to make your relationship with her apparent to me. Really pathetic, you trying so hard to make me angry. Sad that your attempts were in vain.”
“Not from where I’m sitting they weren’t.”
“I have an idea. Why don’t you go jump off a cliff and make sure to land on your neck?”
“How original.” he answered dryly. There was a long stretch of silence before either of us spoke again. All my anger had ebbed away, leaving only that bitter aching I have come to know well over the past six years.
“Why?” I said turning to look at him again. This time the voice was mine, and it cracked.
“Why what?”
“Why did you do that? Do you get some sort of pleasure from trying to hurt me? Do you like rubbing it in that you left me for her? Huh? Do you?” I asked solemnly. This time he dropped his head, looking ashamed.
“I’m sorry. I don’t like to hurt you Kagome, no matter what you may think. You know after all these years its still weird seeing you with another guy. I guess I was just trying to take it out on you. Funny huh? After everything its still hard not to care.”
I looked up surprised at his response. Our eyes locked and we just sat there staring at each other. My eyes began to water and I no longer thought about the people inside waiting for my return, or what they might think about Inuyasha’s sudden disappearance. All I could think about was the man on the bench next to me. All I could see was Inuyasha, the one I used to love, not the monster that I wanted him to be. That I needed him to be.
I turned my head from his instantly. I felt something flutter inside me, like butterflies, but more like tingles. And I didn’t like it. When I looked away I found my voice again. Except he spoke first.
“Kagome?”
“Hmmm?& #8221;
“Do you ever think about us? What we had?” he asked in a tender whisper and I thought at first my old dreams were lingering behind, or perhaps I heard him wrong. When I looked up and saw his eyes shining with something I couldn’t quite understand I knew I wasn’t wrong.
“There is no us Inuyasha. You know that. As far as what we had, well, that ended a long time ago. No use in thinking about it now.” I answered both saddened by his reaction, and the answer I, myself gave in response to his hurtful question.
He nodded and grabbed my hand in his own. Entwining our fingers together and I made no attempt to pull my hand free. I made no attempt at all to respond in any way. I sat there numb over my thoughts and his question. I felt the warmth of his larger hand seep into my once chilled skin, and turned to look at him again.
He only smiled. I didn’t know what to make of what was happening on that cold bench outside the restaurant, but I smiled back in earnest briefly wondering what was happening to me and why I all of a sudden felt so jaded.