InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shivering Sands ❯ Illuminate ( Chapter 17 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: Nyla

A/N: These reviews are so complementary. I really appreciate them. I'm so glad so many of you like this story. Enjoy. :)

“So you haven't had any problems beside the morning sickness,” Dr. Molani asked as she palpitated her stomach gently.

“No,” Kagome said with a gentle shake of her head, “just a little tired. Oh, I did experience the pelvic pain you mentioned.”

“That's natural,” Molani said, helping Kagome into a sitting position once more. “You might have some slight anemia but that's easily taken care of,” she said, writing on a prescription pad.

She looked up as she finished. “I hesitate to give mothers any drugs unless it is absolutely necessary, so we will try some other remedies first.”

Kagome nodded. “I understand.”

“Well, everything looks good. As I said, your size surprises me but the baby is fine. I will give you some iron pills for your anemia and some prenatal vitamins.”

“Sounds good,” Kagome said with a smile.

~~~

As she entered through the glass-encased lobby of Sesshomaru's offices, she paused before the office directory to find his office location. She searched for a few seconds before the realization hit her.

`Of course he's at the top floor,' she said, placing her fingers against her forehead before shaking her head at herself.

She made her way to the elevator and got on. As it passed the 6th floor, she felt a pang of remembrance as she recalled visiting her father here years before. She pushed the memory away.

She leaned against the back of the elevator and thought back to their departure from China.

She had awakened slightly to find him sleeping beside her. It was dark outside still, although the light from dawn wasn't far off.

Without opening his eyes, he asked, “Any pain?” She shook her head. He nodded and they both returned to slumber. In mid-afternoon, they departed amid plans to see their hosts as soon as possible.

“Geneon Industries would like to lease some of the lands in the Hokkaido district for production,” Kagome heard as she neared Sesshomaru's office. Their eyes met as she entered his immaculate office where he sat in a black leather chair, leaning back with an unaffected look upon his face.

“No. That will be all,” he told Shintabe, his vice president. Shintabe left with a quick bow to them both.

Kagome looked around slowly. “So this is your office.” She nodded. “It suits you.” She sat upon the top of the desk, crossing her legs at the ankles primly.

He leaned back slowly and looked into her face. “I'm surprised you finished this early.”

“She took me right in. I think Molani is a bit shocked that I'm growing this fast. She ran all of these tests to make sure nothing was wrong with me.”

“And,” he asked, raising his brow.

“Everything is fine,” she assured him. “I just have some pills to take. Oh, and I have to walk every day.” He nodded. “I'm finished here.” “Okay,” she said, sliding from the top of the desk as he stood.

As they exited the building, her gaze fell upon the entrance of Rikugien, the best park in the city to view falling leaves.

His eyes followed her gaze. “I haven't seen the leaves yet. I usually go every year,” she said with a quick smile of remembrance.

He inclined his head in acquiescence to her surprise. “As long as you feel well enough,” he said. She favored him with a little smile as she gazed at him. “At least today's exercise will be out of the way.”

They walked the short distance to the entrance of the park and began strolling leisurely. The early December air was crisp and the sun shone clearly in the afternoon sky.

“You see that tea house,” she said quietly as they walked along a shaded path. “That's where I learned the tea ceremony.”

“I take it you learned it to perfection,” he said innocently.

“No,” she giggled, “I tried, but you know how those ladies are. Nothing is ever perfect. If I had it right they never would have told me so.”

His lips tilted slightly. “That is usually the case.”

They crossed over a bridge by the pond, and upon reaching it she said, “Lets sit down for a minute.”

“Tired,” he asked as they sat down on a bench beside the pond. A gentle breeze came up and the leaves began cascading around them. “No,” she said softly. “I just want to take a moment.”

They watched the groups of people enjoying the park. `Seems like a lot of couples are out today,' she thought as she saw people of all ages paired up together. Most sweet to her eye was the elderly couple helping one another across the bridge.

“Did you have any morning sickness today,” he asked assiduously. “Yeah,” she sighed, “it wasn't as bad though. I just stayed in the bed until it passed.” “And the physician cannot do anything for you?”

She shook her head. “We're going to try other things before any medication. She's worried about its effects.” She moved into him slightly with her shoulder. “But I'm fine, really, Sess, I promise.”

She twirled the small flower she had in her hands for a moment, and then looked toward his eyes. “I heard the conversation about someone wanting to use some lands in the north.”

He turned his head to meet her gaze, and then nodded. “I rarely visit them,” he said quietly.

“Yes,” she said slowly, “but you've allowed it in other lands that belongs to you.” His eyes flickered for a moment before it went away. She noticed this. “You don't have to answer, Sess,” she said softly.

He shook his head slowly. “Its just family land,” he said, lifting his finger to the bridge of her nose and sliding it to the tip. “Oh. I see,” she said, feeling her heart beat just a bit faster. “What about the situation with Ronin?”

“No change really. It's more or less the same. I am attempting to be diplomatic.” She smiled in mock surprise. “You, diplomatic? Who would have thought,” she said teasingly.

“Yes, the universe is falling about our feet as we speak,” he said dryly.

She giggled. “But, we'll see how things progress,” he said. She sobered a bit and looked down at her lap for a second. He noticed. “There is nothing that should concern you,” he said seriously. “I can't help it,” she said, quietly.

“Are you ready,” he asked, changing the subject. “Mhmm,” she said softly as she stood.

They continued walking. Silence passed between them for a few moments before she said, “I'm going to need bigger clothes soon, I can barely get in my clothes now,” she said staring fixedly at her middle.

He peered at her for a moment and then said, “You are correct.” “Hey,” she with a laugh, then a mock pout before she giggled once more.

Then she grew serious. “There is so much to do before he comes,” she said softly. “So many things that he'll need. Honestly,” she said looking up into his eyes, “I don't even know where to begin. I don't know anything about babies. I was a bit too little to remember much about Souta as a baby. Papa died soon after he was born, and that's all I could focus on for a long time.”

“I understand,” he said quietly. “Rin was the youngest thing I ever personally handled.” She nodded. “I thought perhaps to hire someone to decorate and acquire what will be needed,” he said. “Your mother will help as well.”

“I know. I probably wouldn't feel well enough long enough to really do anything on my own. Thank…” She stopped abruptly as she felt someone slam into her from behind.

It was a little boy around four years of age who gazed up at her and Sesshomaru with wide eyes. Spinning beside him was the ball he had attempted to catch before running into her.

“Haru,” an elderly woman admonished as she ran over to him. “I am sorry,” she said with two quick bows for forgiveness.

“Oh, no,” Kagome said, waving her hands in front of her and bowing as well. “It was an accident,” she said as the woman's spouse came over to lead them away. “Forgive us. Have a nice day,” he said as he reached them and led the two away.

Kagome stood staring after them. Her smile faded. `There won't be any growing old together for us,' she thought suddenly. `Just…me.'

She felt a sharp pain in her chest as she remembered that demons aged infinitely more slowly than humans. `He and my son will still be here, almost unchanged. I might not even see him grow up.'

Tears welled up in her eyes suddenly, which she suppressed before he scented them. She turned away from the little family and closed her eyes briefly. All of a sudden she felt exhausted.

He had observed her during the exchange, noting her change in energy. He had struggled to contain his irritation when she got hit. “Are you hurt,” he asked, checking her side and lower back.

“No,” she said, shaking her head.

“You've become subdued. Why,” he asked. “Nothing,” she said favoring him with a little smile. He frowned. He looked at her for a moment and then the position of the sun before saying, “I believe its time to return home.”

Upon reaching the castle, Kagome climbed upon the bed and lay down, enjoying the coolness of the sheet against her skin. “You seem to be fatigued,” Sesshomaru said as he observed her movements.

“I am, it just came over me all of a sudden,” she said as she settled into a curled position upon her side. She noticed that he remained standing.

“You're leaving,” she asked him. He nodded. “That is so. “Oh.” She was silent for a few moments. “Will you stay with me for a while, just until I fall asleep,” she asked him in a small voice.

He nodded. He sat upon the edge of bed beside her. “Will you be gone long,” she asked softly. “It will be late before I return.” His eyes met hers. “I want you to rest.”

Her eyes flickered as if she was thinking heavily and then slowly she began falling asleep, her lashes moving downward and downward. She closed her eyes, and he watched her for a few more moments before he stood.

He walked out the room and she squeezed her eyes tightly to stop the rush of tears.

It had been a quiet day apart for the two of them, and now night had fallen. Sesshomaru had been in and out throughout the day, while she had spent the time indoors, thinking of the realization she had come to the day before and what it meant.

The steam from the large bath enveloped the room as she sat in the large tub, gazing at the swirling water thoughtfully. As the thoughts that had raged in her mind throughout the day came to her once again, she turned her head slightly, trying to dismiss them from her mind.

She looked down at herself in the water. The changes in her body were becoming prominent. Her waist grew steadily, and her breasts were slightly larger. Her belly was now just beginning to jut out in a perfect round; she was in her four and a half month of pregnancy in human stages, but in month three of her six-month pregnancy.

She gazed at the water and once more, the thought of dying, the thought of leaving Sesshomaru and her son behind slid across her mind. She shook her head and sighed. `The more I try not to think about it, the more I do.' She placed her palms upon the bathtub, and gingerly stepped out.

`I don't want my son growing up without me,' she whispered with a sigh. As she dressed in her white nightgown, she felt a tightening in her throat as she tried to hold back from crying.

`But is that only it,' she argued with herself. `Or is some of it that I wonder will Sesshomaru still want me when I'm old?' She hung her head for a moment. She thought of Jininji and remembered his old wizened mother; still infatuated with the demon she had loved deeply. `I don't want to be the one left behind either.'

She picked up a brush and slowly brushed her hair as she walked out the room. She pushed back the covers and climbed into bed. As she settled down upon her side, to her surprise, Sesshomaru entered the room, drying himself with a towel, having taken a shower down the hall.

“Hey,” she said softly. Seeing him had instantly improved her mood. “I didn't know you were back.” “I arrived not long ago,” he said as he entered the bathroom and threw the towel inside the hamper.

“Where were you,” she asked as he got into bed beside her. “Okinawa.” She nodded. “I remember now; I was half asleep when you said it this morning.” “What of you,” he asked.

“I've been reading for class, then baby books, the baby magazines. I am trying to figure out what we need.” Her eyes searched his face. He was lying back among the pillows with his eyes half closed. “You seem tired,” she said. “As do you,” he countered, raising his brow.

“Yeah but right now, I'm perpetually drowsy. What's your excuse,” she said teasingly.

He closed his eyes. “That I'm with someone that talks me to death,” he said, unable to keep a slight smile from up turning his mouth. She gave a gasp of indignation, and then giggled as he slid his arms about her waist.

“Sleep with me,' he said drowsily. She snorted with laughter at his play on words. He had managed to bring her from sadness to laughter effortlessly. “That's not such a chore,” she said, closing her own eyes. She placed a kiss gently upon his neck. “Goodnight.”

~*~

She felt horrible. Throughout the early morning, she lay in bed, unwilling to move for fear of emptying her stomach all over herself, but nearly writhing because of the pressure in her abdomen that was slowly building.

She could feel her mouth becoming increasingly drier, and the glands beneath her tongue producing more moisture to compensate for that dryness. It was the sure sign of preparing to vomit.

She gazed toward Sesshomaru's face. She loved looking at him while he was sleeping, and all the more so because it was rare. They were still lying together as they had earlier that night. She could see his face perfectly. In slumber, his face was unexpectedly boyish. He was exhausted when he got in, and she hated to wake him.

She breathed deeply a few times before the next pain hit. She balled up her fist, willing herself not to vomit, as her mouth grew drier. She placed her hands upon her stomach and slowly turned so that she now lay upon her back, and placed pressure upon her pelvis. The painful sensation abated immediately.

She now concentrated upon not vomiting. She continued breathing slowly and deeply for quite sometime until she dozed. She slept fitfully for a few hours until she felt herself wrenched back into consciousness as she felt her stomach lurch. She swallowed slowly.

`Gods, please make it stop.' She felt herself growing so frustrated that she felt she could scream. She felt the tears escape her closed eyelids. It was going to be a long night.

Sesshomaru awoke early that morning as the dawn sky still held traces of the night. His dark pupils narrowed from a rounded oval to a near diamond shape as they adjusted to the dim light. He stood and entered the bath to finish his routine.

As he reentered the bedroom, he made his way her side. Her face was drawn up slightly, as if she was strained. His eyes could make out the slight purple shadows beneath her eyes. For a moment, he considered letting her sleep, but decided she would prefer to know that he was going. He sat down upon the edge of the bed beside her.

Her lashes fluttered once before she slowly opened her eyes. “I'm leaving.” “Hmm, okay,” she said tiredly, opening her eyes slightly. “I'll return later tonight. Sleep,” he said, standing. “You need your rest.” She nodded and closed her eyes once more.

The glow of the morning sun was nearly showing on the horizon. She gave a small sigh as the nausea hit her and she became conscious of it once more. As she slept, it had faded to a nagging dullness but now returned full force.

She swallowed once and then delicate balance she had between vomiting and nausea finally broke. She slowly made her way to the bathroom and began retching, but because she had had nothing to eat, she was but dry heaving.

Afterward, she leaned her head the floor cabinets and sighed.

She spent the better part of the day in the Ginza shopping district, trying to become acclimated with what she may need for the baby.

As she entered a small boutique baby store, her eyes grew wide at the exquisite furnishings, the creamy walls and the elegantly arranged products. `I think I've found the right place.'

She smiled as a young woman approached and introduced herself as Shima. “I spoke to you on the phone earlier,” Kagome said as they both bowed their heads in greeting. “I'm glad I came here.”

Shima smiled. “So am I. So this is your first child,” she said placidly. “Yes,” Kagome answered softly. “And I haven't been around a baby since I was one.” Shima laughed, then nodded. “Understandable.”

“So,” Kagome said as she glanced upward to the second level of the shop, “I need you.” She returned her gaze to Shima's face. “I need help decorating, and deciding everything that a baby needs.”

Shima nodded. “You've come to the right person,” she said with mock arrogance and a self-depreciating laugh.

“I know. I hear you're the best.”

“Then, perhaps today, we can look over everything and see what capture's your eye.”

“That sounds good to me.”

“Would tomorrow be the appropriate time to look over the home?”

Kagome nodded. “That'd be perfect.”

~*~

After saying her goodbyes, Kagome departed the store, pausing for a moment as she considered what she would do next. “I think,” she said as she eyed the string of shops and restaurants that lined the Ginza shopping district, “I'm hungry.”

She walked for a few minutes until she entered Miso, a favorite soup bar of hers. A long black marble counter surrounded the circular bar structure of the building with stools where patrons could eat there as well as the black and tan booths that lined the long windows.

She sat down in a booth and immediately a waitress arrived to take her order. “What will you have today, miss?” “The miso,” Kagome said with a smile. “It will be right out.” After a minute, she returned with her soup and beverage and Kagome picked up her spoon.

As she did so, she noticed a group of students, standing before the entrance deciding whether or not to enter. To her dismay, after closer inspection she realized that it was her friends, including Yuka, Eri and Ayumi.

Her eyes widened and she turned her head quickly inside the bar. `Oh no,' she thought.

She dared to peek out of the corner of her eye and turned once more as Eri looked in her direction for a moment. `Please don't let them come in here. Please don't let them come in here,' she prayed.

After a few moments of suspense, the group went into a restaurant down the block in a noisy group. Kagome breathed a sigh of relief.

`That was close,' she said as she leaned her head back against the headrest and continued gazing out the window. `I love them to death but they're so nosy. They would ask a lot of questions that I just don't feel like answering.'

She alighted from the car and made her way to the front door, waving off Senchiro as he drove off in the limo. She listened for sounds of Sesshomaru as she stood in the foyer. `I see he hasn't made it back yet,' she thought as she walked through the downstairs area.

She slowly made her way up the winding stairs until she reached the bedroom. She quickly stripped off her clothing and entered the shower.

As she got in bed, the thoughts that had plagued her the past two days managed to come again to the fore. `Stop it,' she thought as the anxiety washed over her once more. `But I can't help it,' she thought sadly.

Just as quickly, she thought of her son and how she couldn't wait for him to arrive. And her sadness was supplemented by excitement and contentment.

An hour or so later, Sesshomaru made his way to his bedroom after leaving the bath down the hall. He pushed the half open bedroom door closer to the wall, and then closed it gently behind him.

He sat upon the chaise lounge before the fire, after his eyes swept over her briefly. For some time, he sat there pondering his next move, taking the time to clear his thoughts from his head, addressing each point that remained unclear.

After he came to a resolution in his mind, he then turned his attention to Kagome. `It is interesting that this appears to be culminating at this time.' He contemplated her quietly for quite some minutes, his eyes hooded and gleaming red gold by the amber firelight.

His observation of her enabled him to notice her shivering. He stood and crossed over to the bed. After adjusting the room temperature with a sensor, he then got in bed beside her.

She started sleepily as she felt the weight of his body upon the bed, then relaxed as she felt the warmth from his body next to hers and her shivering ceased.

Kagome blinked sleepily, her relief intensifying as she realized that she showed no signs of becoming sick this morning. She looked to her right and noticed that Sesshomaru was no longer beside her. The realization hit her like a crushing weight.

“He's gone again,” she said dully, feeling a bit angry. She covered her face as quick tears came to her eyes. `Why is he doing this,' she thought bitterly.

She wiped her tears and took a few deep breaths in attempt to calm down. After a few moments, Sesshomaru entered the room, discarding his robe. “You're awake early,” he said, observing her for a few seconds before sitting beside her upon the bed edge.

“You were gone,” she said softly, hoping she had removed all evidence of her tears. “I had something to take care of,” he answered. She nodded slowly. He brushed his finger beneath her eyes. “You must have slept through the night.”

She looked down for a moment. “Is that a nice way to say I look less ghoulish,” she asked in a small voice. “Do you believe that is what I meant,” he asked her softly.

When he was with her, looking at her as he did now, everything else seemed so remote and far away. Only he had the power to make her feel like this, to take her from the despair to complete contentment.

“No,” she said softly. “I always say what I mean,” he said, slightly reproachful. “Remember that.” She nodded slowly, and then looked at him questioningly.

“What are you going to do today,” she asked him, trailing her nails against the inner side of his arm. “I'll be here,” he said, lowering his eyes and enjoying the sensation; it was pleasingly irritating. “Really,” she asked with hope infusing her voice. “I'm glad. The decorator is coming today.”

“I take it you found one that you deem acceptable.” She nodded. “I met with her yesterday. I also did some Christmas shopping.” He was still enjoying the feel of her nails grating against him when he said, “A Western holiday.”

She laughed. “I know. But I'll take any excuse to give presents. I found something great for Mom and Souta. I just need to get Grandpa out the way.” She glanced toward the wall clock.

“I told the decorator to be here at noon. Mom is coming too,” she told him. “There is time,” he said, lying back against the pillows, closing his eyes. “I know, but I'm a lot slower these days,” she said, smiling slightly as she patted her stomach.

~~~

“Mom,” she said with a smile as she saw Sana standing at the front door. “My goodness, look at you,” Sana said as she walked through the entryway. She paused and bent to Kagome's stomach, giving it a gentle pat.

“I can't believe he's so big,” she said as she straightened. “I'm so big,” Kagome said with a sigh. “Hardly. You look beautiful. You're all belly, just as petite as ever. You're just starting to show, it's still not easy to tell.”

“Sana,” Sesshomaru said as he entered the foyer. “Sesshomaru,” she said. “You've been well, I hope,” he said. Just at that moment, the doorbell rung once more, and Kagome opened it to find Shima glancing around the castle wonderingly.

“Shima,” Kagome said smiling, standing back to allow her to enter. “This place is beautiful,” she said as she stepped through the foyer. “I can't believe I've never seen it before.” Kagome smiled. “This is Sesshomaru, and this is my mother, Sana Higurashi.”

“A pleasure,” Shima said bowing to them both. “I can't wait to get started,” she said. “Then lets do so,” Sesshomaru said. They made their way up the stairs, the women chatting as they did so with Sesshomaru bringing up the rear.

As he crested the top of the stairs, he heard a familiar signal, and he paused for a moment before checking for the corresponding emblem. `It is time. Unfortunate.' He thought about Kagome pensively. `She will be disappointed, but it must be done.'

He rejoined the three women, who were pouring over furniture samples. “Hey,” Kagome said as he walked in, then made her way over to where he stood. She looked into his face and stopped short. “What's wrong?”

“I must leave,” he said quietly. “What,” she said, her eyes registering her apprehension. “Why?”

“You know why,” he said in an even tone. “Its significant.” Her face looked troubled. “I don't want you to go.” Her eyes were pleading. “Please don't.”

“I wouldn't but I must,” he said gently, curious because she had never acted this way about him leaving before.

Her lip trembled and she burst into tears. “You can't go, I need you here,” she said tearfully to his surprise, his eyes widening imperceptibly. Sana and Shima stopped speaking and turned in their direction.

“Honey,” Sana said softly. “Its okay, I'm here with you,” she said as she engulfed her in a little hug. “We'll help you, and you can still ask Sesshomaru for his input tonight before anything is final.”

Her eyes met Sesshomaru's and she whispered, “Mood swings.” He nodded slowly, and then looked to Kagome once more. She turned her face away from him while she sniffled piteously. “I'll return this evening,” he said and after Sana's encouraging nod, he left.

Shima was quiet during the exchange having seen this sort of thing at times between couples, and sought to distract her. “So, Kagome, this room has wonderful dimensions. Its perfect for what you have planned.”

“I agree,” Sana said, drawing her daughter over to an interior corner. “I thought that a changing station could go over here.” “That's an excellent idea, Mrs. Higurashi,” Shima said as she mentally mapped out the dimensions of corner. “What do you think,” she asked, looking in Kagome's direction.

“That is a good idea Mama,” she answered. “I think I want the furniture to be egg shell.” Shima began writing her wants down. “What do you think about the color of the room, have you decided,” she asked as she looked up from her writing pad.

“I want to ask him,” she said in a far off voice. “Of course,” Sana and Shima said at the same time, and looked at each other with conspiratorial glances. They would manage her out of this mood together.

~~~

Ronin walked slowly through the lanes of an intricately designed rice field. Ahead lie his destination, a sloping mountain palace surrounded in the beauty of green foliage.

His ear flickered in expectancy as he became aware of Sesshomaru's presence. “He's inside,” he said as he paused. He fell in step with Sesshomaru before he spoke once more. “This would go faster if you didn't insist on leaving before night.”

“Hmm,” Sesshomaru said noncommittally.

After a long day of making selections, and a pleasant lunchtime conversation, Shima departed the house with a wave, promising to bring more selection items when Sesshomaru was available.

Sana waved her off and immediately turned to her daughter. “Now tell me, what's wrong?” Kagome shook her head slowly as she sat down upon the sofa. “I don't know,” she said as she wiped beneath her eyes.

“You do know,” Sana said knowledgably. “Is it that you're upset about being alone when he leaves throughout the day?” Kagome shook her head once more. “No.”

She paused. “It doesn't bother me that he has things to do, that he wanders. I've always known what he's like. I can't change him and I don't want to.” She sighed. “Its me. I'm just scared.”

“Of what,” her mother asked gently. “Of a lot of things,” she said tiredly. “I worry constantly about what's next, scared of what could happen to him. Or me. I'm scared of growing older, and not being around for my son's life.”

She paused. “You know they live a very long time.” Sana nodded. “And one minute I'm happy and the next, I can't stop crying.”

Sana stood and walked over to the window. “Some of that is because of mood swings. It happens, you're hormones are all over the place. But for the other issues,” she said, breathing out slowly, “that's normal. It's normal to have those fears.”

“See,” Kagome said quietly. “You're thinking about Papa too.”

“Even knowing what happened with your father, even knowing how little time he had with us,” Sana said, turning away from the window. “I wouldn't change anything. He wouldn't have either.”

Kagome stared at the ceiling. Sana glanced at her. “You still have to live your life,” she said quietly.

“Do you need anything,” Sana asked as she slipped on her coat. “No. I'm okay Mom. I'm sure Souta is waiting on his dinner. I'll call you later.” The two embraced and Kagome shut the door behind her.

Feeling unsure of what to with herself, she wandered up the stairs and reentered the nursery. The white room was bathed in the baby blue light that occurs in winter when the sun has gone behind the horizon, yet the total blue black sky of night has not yet come.

She walked to the window, admiring the view of the front lawns. The sky seemed crystal clear. She turned away and after leaning her back against the wall, slid down into a sitting position. She gazed at the room before her and sighed. A few moments later, she felt his presence in the room.

After fidgeting with herself for several seconds, she raised her eyes to his. He said nothing; he simply continued walking until he stood before her.

She lowered her eyes and sighed. “I'm sure you think I'm crazy.” He shook his head. “No. I think there is something on your mind though.” She raised her eyes once more. “Have you eaten.” She nodded slowly. “With Mom.” He held out his hand.

She took it and he helped her to her feet. He led her down the hall to the east wing den, a room on the third floor of the castle. “I think I've been in this room once.”

“Change of venue,” he said as sat down, pulling her with him upon a long couch with a large matching ottoman against the wall. The room was dark, lit only by the fireplace in the far front of the room.

She sat upon his lap with her head lying against his chest and looked around the room, staring at the paintings upon the walls.

There were scenes from the ancient past, upon white papyrus backgrounds. One of the most striking was a young woman with silver hair and amber eyes, gazing behind her as if she had been startled. She turned her eyes away from the scenes and looked down at her hands.

“I didn't want you to leave,” she said slowly, “because lately.” Here she paused. “I've just been afraid,” she said, “Of something happening to you and me. And I'm afraid of leaving my son alone, motherless. I'm afraid of not seeing him grow up. I think of my father and yours, and InuYasha's mother. I get terrified.”

She paused once more. “I know that part of it is that I am moody and hormonal right now. But I don't want to lose you. And today, when you said you had to go, all of that came out.” She touched his hand as it rested upon her protruding stomach, her finger encircling a raised knuckle.

He was silent, having decided to simply listen to her concerns. She was quiet for a few moments before she spoke again. “Do you ever wonder about death, and who you'll leave behind?”

“No,” he said definitively. “One can only worry about the here and now. And make preparations to care for those who remain.”

She nodded. There was something about the way he said things with such finality that gave her a high feeling of security. She knew that he was right. She focused her attention on him once more as she realized he spoke again.

“My sense of self preservation is high. That sense also extends to you. I wouldn't allow anything to happen to you.”

“Even old age and crows feet,” she said teasingly.

His eyes flickered and his lips turned upward. “I'll do my best.”

She laughed gently. When he said things like that, she could almost believe him. “I find that very reassuring.”

It was early morning when Kagome awoke and stretched sleepily, deciding to get out of bed. She glanced at Sesshomaru for a moment, not wanting to disturb him, and then climbed slowly down the winding staircase until she reached the kitchen. She ate a small container of strawberries and bananas, then returned upstairs.

As she passed the newly decorated nursery, she paused to reflect over its creation. After their talk, they managed to get Shima to the castle once more the following day, and made the final decisions on the room.

Shima was impressed by his choices. “You have excellent taste.” Kagome nodded her agreement. “Far better than mine,” she said softly. Every single thing he picked was to her taste, and he found ways to coordinate his desire with hers.

The color of the room was a meeting of the minds between them, the faint blue color that infiltrated the room late in the evening before. Beautiful eggshell colored baby furniture abounded throughout. The room, like the rest of the castle looked modern, yet still carried the overtones of the ancient past.

Afterward, she had gone into town to search for her final batch of Christmas presents.
He had asked her if she wanted to brave the crowds on this last shopping day. “I'll be fine,” she said. “I'll see you later.

So she set out and retrieved the rest of her Christmas presents. She managed the jostling crowd extremely well, having selected the majority of her gifts days before. When she returned home, having had Senchiro bring the gifts through the door, she realized that Sesshomaru was upstairs.

She peered into their bedroom and stopped short. “Well this is a first,” she said with a small smile. I actually made it home later than you.” His lips turned up slightly. “It was bound to happen once.”

Afterward, they retired to their bedroom where he attempted to teach her chess. She shook her head at the complexities of the movements. He beat her soundly during her first game, causing her to remark wryly, “I guess I'll never be asked to be a general.” He chuckled softly as they went to bed. “You'll become better.”

And after sleeping for a while, she awoke and climbed out of bed, and eventually went to the nursery, where she now stood. `I can't wait to give Momma her presents,' she thought, and then turned away from the freshly decorated room.

She thought of her gift for Sesshomaru, a delicately molded sheath for Tensaiga. It was cast in rich blue marble with silver kanji impressions. Persian blue and gold gripping points were placed at intervals upon the surface. It was a beautiful sheath. She hoped he would like it.

Thinking of that, she couldn't wait any longer to give it to him. She picked it up from her hiding place in the sitting room across the hall and walked into the bedroom. He remained sleeping, with his eyes closed, lying upon his back.

She crawled upon the bed, until she reached him, and then laid her head upon her hands that now rested upon his chest. She gazed at him for several moments, her stomach turning nervously, until she sensed that he was awake.

“I take there is something you desire from me,” he said, his eyes still closed, raising his brow slightly. “Yes,” she said softly. “I want you to wake up.” His lips turned upward infinitesimally and he opened his eyes. “Your awakening me this early on this particular day only means one thing,” he said quietly. “You have a gift for me.” She nodded.

She pulled it from her side and handed a long black box to him. He lifted the top off the box, and stared at the sheath, then removed it from its base. He said nothing for several moments.

He admired the gleaming blue marble and the platinum interior casing that would enclose the sword. He noted the silver kanji inscriptions. `She knows my taste very well.' It was a gift worthy of him. He was touched.

“Do you like it,” she said scarcely breathing.

He turned it over in his hands. “I do,” he said slowly. He gazed into her eyes sincerely. “It is perfection.”

She released her breath slowly as he placed it upon the dresser. “I'm glad,” she said as he pulled her to him in an embrace where she rested in a half sitting position. She didn't want or expect anything in return. Her contentment was in buying him a gift he admired.

As they lay there, feeling the warmth of their bodies touching, her arms around his neck, his near the sweep of her lower back, she lay immobile. It had been so long since she had last been with him.

He, in turn, was silent; he could see the infinitely fine hairs upon the back of her neck rising and falling with every breath he took, and feel the softness of her skin. She waited unable to move as she waited for some sign from him. It was but a moment's pause, but it seemed like forever.

He exhaled silently. “Its time to go to your mother's,” he said loosening his hold. She closed her eyes with regret. “Okay.”

“I'm ready,” she said, as she finished brushing her hair. “I'm going to make sure we have all the gifts.” “I'll be down momentarily,” he said from within the interior of his closet. She went downstairs to the living room where she had placed the presents the night before. She noticed a smaller box upon the top of the presents that she hadn't bought.

She saw that it had her name upon it in an exquisite scrawl. `Sesshomaru,' she thought wonderingly. She didn't think he paid attention to her Christmas ramblings. She gently broke apart the wrapping paper to reveal a small box. She flipped it open, not knowing what to expect.

Her eyes opened wide as she eyed an exquisite diamond-studded watch. She took it out the box and splayed it between her fingers before putting it on. Thin, and delicate and given a pearl like sheen from the array of pink diamonds, it suited her perfectly.

She simply sat on the floor for a time, unable to move, her eyes soft with her feelings for him, with a little smile upon her lips.