InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shrine Prostitute ❯ Tenacious ( Chapter 13 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: FlameTwirler 
In which Kagome kills Inuyasha for betraying her. Just kidding.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.25.2007 | Updated On: 04.11.2013 | Pages: 7 | Words: 10.5K | Visits: 4.7K | Status: Work In Progress
In which Kagome kills Inuyasha for betraying her. Just kidding.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.25.2007 | Updated On: 04.11.2013 | Pages: 7 | Words: 10.5K | Visits: 4.7K | Status: Work In Progress
Shrine Prostitute by FlameTwirler
~ ~ ~
Chapter 13: Tenacious
----holding fast to a purpose, course of action, or opinion; resolute
----pertinacious, persistent, stubborn, or obstinate.
----holding together; cohesive; not easily pulled asunder; tough.
~ ~ ~
For hours Kagome knelt in a daze on the bed, hands fisted limply on her thighs as she replayed the events of the night over and over in her head. She’d been so naive, so ignorant, to think such a profound conversation could go smoothly. Nothing in Inuyasha’s life was ever without drama. For some reason her understanding of his past, his hurts, and how they applied to his actions and decisions stopped at the word ‘love.’
How could she expect him to drop his shields and accept her at her word? She had thought he’d want it so much, desired so greatly to be wanted and appreciated for who he was, that he’d jump at the chance. But of course such an area could also deal him the most hurt. She’d thought he’d trusted her…apparently she’d been wrong.
She watched distantly as the sun peeked through the curtains in the window, light splaying across the bed in indistinct patterns. Slowly it crept up until, as the glow fell across her knees and crept its way up, she felt a simultaneous fire light up inside of her.
So what?! she demanded of herself. She hadn’t decided to pull paperwork on him because she was in love with him – oh that certainly helped, but it was a secondary motive. No, she wanted to give him equal rights in society because that was what he deserved, it’s what anyone would deserve.
They could deal with the intimacies of their relationship later; she refused to trap him in her shrine any more than the Bacana Shrine. If through time he came to love her, well, then fantastic, but if not then it didn’t matter. In the end she loved him and that was enough for her to do what she needed to do.
Eyes blazing she leapt up from the bed and dressed, gathering her words to explain herself to her mother; the older woman would want some words before they set off for the courthouse.
~ ~ ~
Kagome fidgeted nervously with the phone cord, waiting impatiently for the line to pick up, nearly dropping the handset when it did.
“Moshi-moshi, Bacana Shrine.”
“Ryu-san?” she inquired timidly. If he’d gotten any wind about the situation she wasn’t sure how he’d react to her in that moment.
His voice was suddenly much more alert. “Is this Kagome?”
“Yeah, is Inuyasha back yet?” She knew he should be fine but something in the back of her mind wouldn’t let her rest until she heard it confirmed.
“Yes, he’s back, and in one heck of a snit. What on earth happened? Why did he come back without you?”
She winced at that. Originally she’d been set to return with Inuyasha to the Shrine in order to make sure he got there without any trouble – after all, it was still only the rosary and her command over it that gave him any modicum of safety. Actually, without her with him, she wondered how he made his way at all. She couldn’t see him taking the train with how little he’d liked it. The sudden image of him racing hell-bent across residential rooftops did not make her feel any more at ease.
“Ah, yeah, about that…um…” How to start? Perhaps the most critical for Ryu to know first. “Remember that paperwork you told me about?”
Ryu’s stomach dropped. “You didn’t.”
She nodded before catching herself, recalling she was on the phone. “I did – but before you say anything Inuyasha has no idea. I brought up the idea but he stomped it down quite thoroughly before he ran off. He doesn’t know I actually went through with it. The baka,” she muttered the last under her breath.
“Kagome, you are really an idiot of a girl.” He sighed. “Why would you go and pull a stupid stunt like that?”
“Because, like you said Ryu, he deserves to be an equal – or at least as close to one as we can make him with all the stupid legal red tape. My family loves him and was more than willing to take on the responsibility in case anything happens to me.”
“You’re serious…” he said, partly in awe, as the reality of the situation was just beginning to dawn on him.
“I couldn’t leave him like he was; that would just be too inhumane. I needed to let you know right away though so that you can be aware of his new legal status as essentially ‘human’ and see that he gets a bit more of his rights there in the Shrine…maybe even keep some of the worst clients from him?” she added hopefully.
He shook his head to clear it. He knew this would take a goodly amount of time to sort through.
“Ok, fine.” Pinching the bridge of his nose he could already predict the headache this was going to be. “But if he doesn’t know about it then that doesn’t explain his rather abrupt and dramatic entrance here.”
She didn’t want to tell him. She really, really didn’t want to tell him.
Sensing her holding back he griped at her. “I’m the one on the receiving end of his foul mood over here. You better tell me what’s going on so I know what I’m dealing with.”
“There’s nothing you’ll be able to do,” she answered, still reluctant. “It’s all between the two of us anyhow.”
“Tell that to the four walls he’s taken chunks out of already.”
That stunned her for a moment. “Really?” she said breathlessly.
Ryu actually growled at her. “Kagome…”
“All right, all right… I–I told him I love him.” She cringed, both from the memory of how wonderfully that had gone over and from fear or Ryu’s reaction.
“You wha-!” he yelled, cutting himself off as he remembered where he was. Turning to scan the room he waved at one passing customer before leaving his back to the room at large and lowering his voice to a heated whisper. “You what?”
There was no sound coming from the phone. There wasn’t a dial tone, however, and the cord was still plugged into the wall so he knew the line was still connected. He shook his head silently in denial.
“I take it his response wasn’t exactly what you’d hoped for?” he asked, hoping he kept the frustration from leaking into his voice.
“Not exactly,” she answered hesitantly, if morosely, “but I guess that’s my own fault for just blurting it out without thinking it through.”
“Why, Kagome? Why, when you’ve been so careful about everything else, would you do this now?”
“I asked him to stay with me – permanently – and he needed a reason. You know as well as I do it’s the only thing that could possibly motivate him to stay. He’s all pride and if he thought I had any other motive then he’d suspect pity, which you know he wouldn’t be able to accept. I thought he could trust me in this but I guess I just pushed him too far too quickly.”
He couldn’t help but want to comfort the girl as the misery slowly leaked into her voice, growing with each word he spoke, but what could one say in a situation like this? No matter what there was no easy way out and it would be inevitable to have some pain along the way, despite where it led in the end.
“I don’t know what to tell you-”
“It’s okay,” she interrupted. “I didn’t call to dump this all on you, though I suppose it is only right you know. I just wanted to make sure you got Inuyasha the extra protection he deserves and is now finally legally permitted to.”
He smiled wryly into the phone. “I’ll do everything I can, you can be guaranteed that much at least.” After a short pause he continued. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do…it seems like everything else will be stuck between that stubborn jerk and I…” She trailed off but he took her meaning immediately.
“So when will you be coming back? Should I make arrangements for next week?”
She smiled softly into the phone, glad to have someone who not only understood but who was willing to be her friend through the situation and give what aid he could. His support meant more than she could ever tell him.
“It won’t be for a while, I think. My family already spent so much to provide the two months we just had, and while it seems the kami have indeed been pleased and are blessing the shrine, it’s still just not enough to send me off on another jaunt so soon. Not only that but I’m starting school next week.” She shuddered slightly at that recollection. “I still have so much to prepare, things I set aside this last month, and I can’t just skip out on that.
“But mostly…” she paused, mentally bracing herself against her next words, “I think we both need time to cool off first. I…I have no idea what Inuyasha is thinking right now, whether he’s just mad or if he’s truly disgusted with me…maybe even hates me…”
Ryu interrupted her. “Now you couldn’t possibly think that after everything you two have been through.”
“You didn’t see his face when he left. You didn’t see the way he – oh Ryu I’ve never seen him like that before. I feel like I broke some part of him. Maybe you were right about getting his hopes up just to dash them and throw him back into that hellhole – only I never imagined he’d be the one to go jumping back so readily.”
“You can’t honestly think he was eager to come back here,” he argued.
“No,” she agreed, “but I can think I did things wrong to make him think that was his only option, his safety. Oh, but it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have sprung things on him like that. I should have known, should have seen…”
“There’s no reason to go into ‘should haves’ Kagome. The past is done and all you can do is figure out how to work with what you have. Got it?”
She smiled again. She really did appreciate the man. No self-pity for her, no sir. She’d started all this so now she needed to buck up and fight for it. She supposed she’d known all along it would never be easy – but a girl could always hope.
“Yes, you’re right,” she told him. “And that’s one reason I’m waiting to come back. We both need to think things through quite a bit and I need to work on my understanding some more. It won’t do any good for me to be pushing his limits too far again.
“My plan for now is to come back in ten months – a year to date from the first time I was there. That’ll be after my term is done, I should have been able to dig up some more information, and hopefully it’ll be a good way to start over. In the meantime we’ll be able to communicate to each other in other ways and have to rely on personal rather than just physical connection. What do you think?”
“I think that sounds like a plan. You’ll let me know if anything changes though? If you want to come sooner?”
“Of course I will.”
He flipped through the pages in his book and pulled up the correct date. “How long do you want me to schedule you in for?”
“The full two weeks of course. Full-nighters too – I don’t want anyone to be cruel to him when I can prevent it. You’ll look into his rights as my protectee now, right?”
“I’ve already told you I’ll do whatever I can to see him safe. I take it you want to be the one to tell him?”
She paused, so long Ryu thought she might not answer. “I don’t think I want him to know yet.”
He was truly baffled. “Why ever not?”
“Because then he’ll feel obligated to me – and you know how much he’ll hate that, how much it’ll rankle at his pride that a puny human is protecting him. Besides, as I said earlier, it’s a matter of him trusting me and my motives. Until he does he’ll feel it’s just another prison. You know as well as I do that even if he knew right now that he had the same rights as a human he wouldn’t take advantage of it, eaten up with arrogance as the stubborn hanyou he is. He’d probably still sit in the Shrine same as he is now.”
Ryu hated, actually loathed the picture she painted, of how hard Inuyasha was working against himself, but he had to admit that in all reality it was true. Kagome had given him the perfect opportunity for an out and he’d all but slammed it in her face. At the same time though, it would go against everything he was to accept it. So what she said, as sad as it was and as hard as it was to accept, was completely valid. It would do Inuyasha no good to know the reality of it because it would just make it that much harder for him to accept the olive branch in the future.
“Ok, I’ll do my best to keep it discreet. You know, though, that means I won’t be able to protect him from clients and such as fully as I would otherwise?”
She hated it, hated Inuyasha himself right then for making it so she couldn’t do anything other than agree to allow him pain in the short run in order to hopefully save him later. “Yes, I know. In the long run I suppose it’s all we can do if we hope to ever be able to get him out of this mess.”
They both fell silent a moment, contemplating the enormity of the situation they were facing and their new roles in it. Ryu took the time to look around the room again to gauge his privacy and noticed a large group unloading outside the main doors of the Shrine. It looked like his time was up.
“I’m sorry but I’m still on duty and an entire gaggle of newbies are on their way through the door. Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do for you?”
“Well, maybe I…I mean, you…”
“Yes, Kagome?”
She breathed in deeply and fortified her heart against the coming question. “Just tell me, do you think he could ever love me, Ryu?”
The question took him by surprise even though he should have seen it coming. Sometimes he forgot just how young she really was. He hesitated, not liking what he had to say, but knowing she’d be more grateful for blunt truth. “I wish I could tell you yes…”
Sighing, she leaned back against the wall. She’d known that was likely to be his answer but hadn’t been able to help but hope. Still, like she’d said, in the end it was between herself and Inuyasha. “So is that a ‘no’ or an ‘I don’t know’?”
Please don’t be ‘no’, please don’t be ‘no’, she chanted. At least with that she’d still have some hope. Besides, she’d been able to pull Inuyasha out that much from Ryu’s expectations – bringing him to her apartment, his own insistence to accompany her home for the month – hope could do glorious things, as long as it wasn’t crushed completely.
Ryu wasn’t a fool. He knew what she was searching for here, and despite the fact that he didn’t think Inuyasha would ever put himself in such a vulnerable position, he couldn’t bring himself to take all aspirations away from her. He only prayed his own hope wouldn’t fail them both.
“I don’t know, Kagome,” he said, shaking his head, “I just don’t know.”
~ ~ ~
There were only three more days before she started medical school but she couldn’t bring herself to focus on her studies. She should be taking practice exams, dissecting her anatomy books, learning as much as she could to be prepared. After all, only the top percentage of any class ever got placement or were allowed to work in the on-campus clinic. Really, she needed to get her head out of the clouds.
But no matter what she did he wouldn’t leave her mind.
Was Inuyasha’s case really that unique? Were there other hanyou out there trapped in similarly unseemly, untenable positions or was it just him? Ryu had hinted at hanyou being sequestered away by their families as an embarrassment – but how often was that the case?
It made her head spin.
There were too many scenarios. From Kouga’s inferences she assumed that many youkai-human couples aborted their babies so as to not bring about any ‘monstrosities’ in the world.
She couldn’t suppress her shudder at that concept. How could a parent ever think of a child as anything less than perfect?
But then that begged the question of how many parents would refuse abortion but then raise a child in a glorified prison cell in their own home.
Turning, she wandered down a street she’d never bothered to take before, not even taking notice of the difference in décor as her mind continued churning. How many of the families that ‘kept’ hanyou did so because they were embarrassed or ashamed, and how many because there was simply no other option? If these families knew what she knew about the draft Inu no Taisho had made up for a legal framework…
She shook her head. She was letting her thoughts run away with her. There was no point going that far ahead when she didn’t even know if any hanyou existed in the area. She wished she had the right to tell the world about the paperwork she’d taken on Inuyasha – it could possibly open so many doors – but she couldn’t until he accepted it himself first. Even then she didn’t know what kind of adverse reactions such a declaration could possibly have on his safety.
It was all just so confusing.
Looking up she noticed someone staring at her strangely, and at the markings she assumed she (or he, embarrassingly enough she really couldn’t tell at the distance) was a youkai.
That was another thing she wondered: was it more likely for the youkai pair of the couple to house the hanyou child? It seemed like it made sense. Despite the fact that another youkai might be able to detect the hidden family member by scent (unless they had some kind of screening method she didn’t know of), it was almost beneath the notice of a full-blooded youkai to spend time on a hanyou, as they’d discussed when putting the rosary on Inuyasha,. Aside from that, if it came down to it then the youkai family could more aptly physically defend the hanyou if they really desired to. No guns, no ‘shoot on sight’ commands, no ignorant public – they were just ignored instead.
Then of course there was the whole aging situation. Just how quickly did hanyou age, anyhow? Did they follow the youkai or ningen heredity where that was concerned, or did they land somewhere in the middle? The implications as to how that could affect her relationship with Inuyasha made her head spin; she hadn't even thought about it before.
She couldn’t really put her head around it and lifted her hand to her temple as she looked up again. The youkai was still there, still staring…wait, youkai?! Kagome had been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn’t been paying attention to where she’d walked. She did so now, taking a step back and gazing up at the high walls, the old-fashioned lamps hanging everywhere, the strangely muted smells…
To her left she noticed a large doorway just a little ways up and though she knew she should be cautious in this uncharted territory she couldn’t help her curiosity. Besides, as far as she knew there was nothing to be worried about other than feeling awkward – she hadn’t read anywhere that interracial interaction was limited – after all, how did the hanyou come to be? It just … didn’t happen often. Prejudices of mankind (and demonkind too she supposed) and all.
Hesitantly walking up to the doorway she saw it was a small grocery, and from what she could see from her vantage point it all seemed incredibly foreign – she could identify very few articles in the front displays. The clerk gave her an odd look but didn’t make any move toward her so she felt she could have relaxed but this was enough shock for one day. Backing away slowly she nodded once to the store worker, once to the youkai in the street, then as nonchalantly as possible walked back toward the ningen sector and home.
~ ~ ~
Kagome sat in the classroom, twirling her pen in her fingers. The first couple weeks of school had been hard and sometimes she had to force herself focus, but she’d adjusted well enough. Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi had all gone their separate ways: Yuka to be a beautician, Ayumi to be a teacher – surprise, surprise – but Eri was the biggest shock of all, going into science. Ever since her mother had died of cancer she’d become enthralled with the idea of studying different genomes and how to prevent or treat advanced diseases. Houjo was in the same program as her - his family did run a clinic after all - so she saw him from time to time. In fact, if she tilted her head just so, she could catch his profile in the corner of her eye, listening with rapt attention to the professor.
She had to smile at that. Professor Hirohito wasn’t typical of the medical profession. In fact, he was quite often considered ‘eccentric’ and many students didn’t give him the respect he deserved. She was glad Houjo didn’t fall into that group. For herself, she loved that the man didn’t fit into the given mold – even if it meant she thought he was half-crazy. It was evident he’d had to work his way to the top, proving himself time and time again due to his character, but he’d earned every iota of respect he now got – even if it was still sometimes grudgingly from others in the field.
Before the first day of class she’d given herself the assignment of reading work and thesis from each professor she’d be studying under so as to understand what field they were passionate about and where they’d likely pick materials to teach from. That had been part of what she’d intended to do with that extra time before she’d so suddenly summoned Inuyasha to her home for a month, but she made sure to get a little bit of the reading in.
Professor Hirohito’s work fascinated her with its different outlook and perspective. It was truly inspired since so many human conditions had been solved by thinking outside of the so-called box.
Something in the lecture at the moment suddenly snapped her attention back:
“Though the physical structure continues to grow throughout infancy it is, in fact, already dying. The nature of our bodies is such that each individual part wears out after a given time. Like a car, with more frequent check ups and better tune ups, the life-span increases dramatically, but unlike a machine it cannot be overhauled time and time again indefinitely. Such drastic procedures in our fragile forms sometimes, instead of helping, actually weaken the overall state because of the strain it puts on the healing system.
“That is why it is important to not prescribe multiple treatments, or start at the most extreme and work down. The human body can only take so much. Even with our pill-popping multi-vitamins, our improved sanitary and living conditions, and our increasing medical knowledge, the physical limit hasn’t changed and despite all precautions the body will begin breaking down around age 60, typically resulting in death by age 80-85.
“Our society as we know it today is the healthiest we have ever known of and our life expectancy is tremendously higher than has been experienced in any other time that we can document a corpse from. Take, for example, the typical situation from five to six centuries ago, where the male life-expectancy was 35 and the female was oftentimes 20 or lower depending on child-birthing conditions. Though we’re steps ahead no one can push the physical limit beyond age 130, despite whatever procedures you may put a body under. There is a threshold to be endured and that must be respected at all times.”
Professor Hirohito looked up from his notes.
“Yes, Miss Higurashi?”
Kagome was half-surprised to hear her own name called, only barely registering that she’d raised her hand, but since the question was there, milling around in her mind, she figured she may as well ask.
“What is it about youkai physiology then that makes it so different? The genetic material, the bone density, the lifestyle, the youkai, what?”
She looked around her at the stunned gasp and startled murmurs from many of the other students. Was what she was saying really so out of the ordinary?
The professor adjusted his low ponytail slightly and pushed his glasses back up his nose. This is interesting…most interesting, he thought. “I’m sorry to say that I myself have not made any inspection into what causes the distinctions, merely that they are there. If you wish to know more I suggest you consult our library here – it is quite extensive and I’m sure you’ll be able to find something. Aside from that, inside this classroom human physiology is all that matters because it is all that you’ll be practicing in the field.”
He regretted the few smug smirks that were now sent her way at her ‘set down’ but the girl didn’t seem to pay them any heed at all. If anything, he was more intrigued than ever at the small scowl she sent his way and the way her brow furrowed – as if she were thinking of much deeper things than what she’d mentioned aloud. This could take some more looking into, he mused.
The class ended only a few minutes later and he caught her promptly before she’d had the chance to leave through the door. “I’d like a word Miss Higurashi. Please come by my office later this afternoon. Understood?”
She nodded absentmindedly, wondering if he was going to lecture her further, and resolved to get it over with as quickly as possible. She had better things to do, like getting to that library he had mentioned…
“I’ll be there in half-hour. Is that all right?”
The smile, not to mention the semi-mocking salute he gave her made her suddenly curious, suspicious even. He was the school’s curio, right? So what was the likelihood of his calling her for something as mundane as a scolding? Maybe he took his classroom policies more strictly than most, an obsession of sorts? She couldn’t pull any other likely scenarios to mind, so she shrugged it off and resigned herself to finding out in another thirty minutes.
~ ~ ~
She waited impatiently as the line rang and rang. Someone had to pick up, didn’t they? She’d purposely waited to call mid-afternoon so that the Shrine wouldn’t be busy yet but she hoped it was late enough that there was someone still manning the front desk and they weren’t all sleeping. Actually, she’d never really bothered to find out if the Bacana Shrine had any hours it was officially ‘closed’.
“Moshi-moshi, Bacana Shrine,” answered the sleepy voice.
“Ryu?”
He cracked a yawn, all professionalism pushed aside once he heard who it was. “Ah, Kagome. To what do I owe the pleasure.”
“I’m sorry,” she stammered, “did I wake you up?”
“That you did. If no one’s stationed at the desk then the phone automatically forwards to my apartments. They’re on the grounds so if anyone needs something I’m able to get to it quickly enough.”
She gave him a mirthful little chuckle. “You really are married to that place, aren’t you?”
“Yes, yes,” he grumbled back. “Now what are you doing calling me at…” he fumbled for his clock, “4:00 in the afternoon? I don’t have to be up for another hour or so…”
“Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t sure what your schedule was, I just wanted to make sure I called at an appropriate time for this.”
“This…?” he asked leadingly.
“I wanted to see if I could talk to Inuyasha.”
“Ahh, time to patch things up, is it?”
She smiled ruefully. As if things would go that easily. “I don’t know how far we’ll get with that but it’s been too long already. I miss him.”
“All right, all right, I’ll see what I can do. Just stay on the line here but be patient, I’ve got to head over to the main building and wake him up – which won’t make him very happy to start off with but take it as it comes. Should be able to pick up a line over there, so give me about 10 minutes. Can you hang on there?”
She glanced at her watch. That would mean she would only have about 10 minutes to talk with Inuyasha but it was better than nothing. She could always call back later if things were going well.
“That’s fine, Ryu. I’ll still be here when he picks up.”
Then she waited. And waited.
She pulled out one of her textbooks to flip through, trying to distract herself, but when she found herself destroying the edges of the pages she quickly put it away, knowing it was useless to try to focus on anything else.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, she heard the phone pick up. “Yes? Inuyasha?” she breathed excitedly.
“No, Kagome, it’s me.”
She immediately deflated, stunned. Ryu’s voice was the last thing she’d expected to hear. Then her mind started racing. Had Inuyasha had a really bad night last night and was still recovering? Was he that bad of a morning person that he wouldn’t wake up early for any reason? Was he…avoiding her?
“I see. Why isn’t Inuyasha with you?”
Ryu sighed heavily into the phone and her heart dropped. “Listen, you told me before that this is between the two of you, right? I can’t get into the middle of this.”
Well…it seemed that was her answer. “Yeah, I understand. Sorry for putting you in that position.”
She sounded so small to his ears, not like the girl he knew. “Hey, why don’t you try something that he doesn’t have to respond to immediately?”
She perked up slightly. “You mean like a letter?” Actually, that sounded like a fantastic idea. That way she’d be able to put her thoughts into order – she knew most likely she’d be a bit incoherent on the phone with him, hearing his voice for the first time in over a month. Plus, she had said she would be patient, right? This would give him his own timeframe to form his own thoughts, his own reply. She just prayed she’d have the patience she aimed for since she had no idea how long it would take him to write back, if he ever did. She hoped just getting her own thoughts across would be enough for her and she didn’t go crazy in the meantime.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea Kagome.”
“Ryu, you know I’ll probably still call anyhow. Though writing gives more time for thinking it’s nothing compared to hearing his voice.”
“I know.”
“I’ll do my best to not stick you in the middle though and if I’m pushing you too much you just tell me.”
He had to smile at that. The girl was just as stubborn as her hanyou, though she did try to be a bit more considerate about it. “All right then. I’ll consider myself warned.”
“Ja ne, and…Ryu? Thank you, for everything.”
~ ~ ~
Kagome knocked softly on the open door before popping her head in. “You wanted to see me?”
“Yes Higurashi, please sit down. Oh, and do shut the door first.” The professor turned back to his desk and put the finishing touches on a couple papers before facing her fully. He quickly took in the fact that she was sitting on the very edge of her chair, fidgeting anxiously, as though ready to jump at the slightest provocation. He wondered briefly if it had to do with the topic at hand before he had the epiphany.
Ah, so that’s what she’s worried about! He had to chuckle at it, which didn’t do anything for the poor girl’s nerves, but he couldn’t help it. After all, he supposed it wasn’t that unheard of a situation. Still, he’d never thought anyone would think him capable of coming onto his own student.
“On second thought, come with me.” He stood and moved out his door, Kagome forced to follow as he walked rapidly away.
“Where are we going?” she asked, catching up.
“To my laboratory. There are plenty of windows and observation decks so you won’t have to worry about being alone with me, but I can turn all the microphones off so we’ll still have our privacy.”
Kagome was caught off guard by his statement and insinuations, as absorbed as she had been in her own thoughts, but mused that she should be grateful for his concern. She supposed it was the easiest conclusion to come to since he couldn’t have any idea what was really making her edgy. Belatedly she felt oddly guilty that she hadn’t worried about that in the first place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wasn’t worried at all!”
He stopped abruptly to give her a lascivious wink. “Then maybe you should have been.” Her face was simply priceless and his raucous laughter reverberated down the hall as they continued on, Kagome’s cheeks blazing. No wonder everyone thinks he’s a nut job…
The smile that came reluctantly to her face made her realize she felt a bit more at ease now. Whether he’d done that on purpose to lighten the mood or if that was just one of his more quirky behavior coming out she didn’t know, but she felt that maybe she could begin to like this doctor after all.
And, despite everything, she had to admit – though she’d die before she did so out loud – she did appreciate the effort. The change of location would make her much more comfortable for whatever conversation he had in mind to discuss. Finally they entered and she couldn’t help but gawk at the place.
It was huge! There were skeletons, books, wall hangings with anatomical structures dissected and depicted out; there was a part set aside for chemical research, another set up like a mini-clinic or operating room itself – must be what the observation deck is for, she realized. It was mind-goggling that this one man had been given so much space and lee-way within this building and it spoke to how much accreditation he had within his profession. She couldn’t help her respect rising tremendously for him.
“Now, what is this about youkai?” He turned abruptly serious as soon as the door was shut, throwing her off her stride so that she fumbled for an answer.
“I…uh…what do you mean?”
“What do you know about youkai and why do you want to know about them?”
Her mind was spinning slightly. This was the last thing she’d suspected when he’d asked to see her and to give herself a moment to regain her bearing she allowed her suspicion to raise to the front. “Why do you care so much?”
“You’re the one who brought it up in my classroom, Miss Higurashi, I’m merely following up. Now how much do you know?”
She paused a moment, measured him carefully. “I’ll tell you when you answer one thing for me first. If a wounded youkai came in here right now what would you do: treat him as well you could, give him a Band-Aid and a lollipop, ignore him, or run him off?”
Obviously she was trying to gauge where his sympathies lay. In which case… “It appears you’ve learned enough or at least a specific something to make you paranoid.”
She huffed indignantly but he held up a hand. “No, I’m not saying that’s not wise, though you did burn that bridge a bit when you showed such undivided interest earlier today.”
“It was just a simple question,” she hedged. “I didn’t know it would be so outrageous.”
“Ah, but the fact that you think so is what makes it outrageous,” he spurted. “Now to get to the heart of things I’ve never been terribly pro-youkai, but neither have I been against them. They’re just in a different world. Doesn’t mean that if one came knocking on my door I’d treat it as such though.
“And as for your question…well I have taken the Hippocratic Oath after all. Some doctors have specific definitions of where they’ll apply their skill, but not me. I’ve always thought that life is life and what did I bother to study for and learn how to help heal something if I don’t apply it whenever and wherever I get the chance? I take it to mean aiding all life – so whether you brought me an animal, a youkai, or a human I’d do my best.”
“What about a hanyou?” she supplied quickly, blushing even while she met his gaze head on.
“So this is what it’s about. You're pregnant?”
She spluttered at his query. “N- no! Of course not!”
“Hm, interesting,” was all he said, shrugging his shoulders. That did make him wonder though just why the specific interest. Perhaps there was one in her family? Maybe she thought of taking a youkai lover and considered fully the complete ramifications? Or perhaps she really just did come at this all theoretically.
“Well, go on then,” he encouraged. “You obviously brought it up because you had some questions and now that we’re not surrounded by a group of righteously indignant students you’re free to do so. Please, be my guest.”
“I guess, for starters, is there really information in that library that has information on youkai physiology?”
“Yes, though how complete it is I couldn’t say as I haven’t checked on it myself.”
“Do you know anything specifically about it?” she sniped, annoyed at his apparent evasion.
“I haven’t done any research myself, no, but I do hear little snippets. All in all it’s not much though.”
She didn’t know what happened. It could have been that he didn’t laugh at her and seemed to be taking it seriously. It could have been that she was just so pressed for answers and was finally possibly getting closer to it. Maybe she was just sick of sitting on it so long herself.
The recent conversation with Ryu came flashing into her mind and she had to force herself to recall that she couldn’t control Inuyasha’s actions, only her own. Providence had landed her right here, right now, and she’d be a fool to not take advantage of it and perhaps even learn something that would be useful. It was possible this would come back around on her and bite her but if she was afraid of everything then nothing would ever get done. She was in this situation now; she’d have to deal with anything in the future as it came up.
Regardless of the reason everything came bursting out at once.
“What is it that makes them so different from humans that they can live for centuries but compatible enough that they can make children together? Are distinct species of youkai separated on a grander scale like one animal to another or more like different races of human? Since the two are compatible is it possible to transplant youkai body parts to a human or vice versa? What determines how much of each parent is inherited in a hanyou child? Could two children from the same parents be completely different? Would different species live for varying amounts of time? Why are hanyou seen as inferior when they are the product of two superior and equal beings?”
The room rang silent, Kagome’s heavy breathing from her heated ruminations the only sound until, quite suddenly, Professor Hirohito started laughing. Not softly, but full out belly laughs that had him bent over in his chair.
Kagome glowered at the man. The only reason she’d shared so much was because he hadn’t mocked her and now look at him! She was furious, both at him for his behavior and herself for giving so much away. Now he’d probably be breathing down her neck all year. Swiftly she spun on her heel and marched toward the door. Only her professor’s voice stopped her because, dang it, her mother had done too well in her remonstrations of how well she needed to respect her elders and superiors (even if she did occasionally ‘forget’ from time to time).
“No, please, wait. That was wonderful! Don’t you see? I’ve never seen anyone get worked up like that on this subject before. Hell, I’ve never heard half these questions voiced before – especially those on hanyou. Seems to be a touchy subject all around.”
She turned back to face him head on, trying to gauge his sincerity.
“Like I said, I’m no expert on the subject, but this most definitely intrigues me. I’d like to help you along, if you don’t mind, and we’ll see what we can discover between the two of us. With two oddball, outside thinkers like ourselves it shouldn’t be too difficult, now, ne?”
His smile was contagious and she couldn’t help herself as she grinned back at him. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad after all. Since she didn’t know enough about the human structure yet to compare them on a minute scale she would appreciate being able to pick his brain about it.
“I’ll even keep it discreet if you wish,” he was still rambling. “Although, if we do discover something worthy of publishing I would like to get that out before someone else makes one similar…”
He paused as though just realizing she was still in the room. “I say, girl, what brought up all this unusual interest in the first place?”
She hedged. She was starting to really like this doctor but she was learning to be paranoid when it came to Inuyasha. Besides, she could say this didn’t have to do strictly with him since she wasn’t looking at operating on him – he’d just…made her curious. Yes, that was all. He was just the spark off. Surely the professor had no need to know about that.
“All right, Higurashi, all right,” he said laughingly. “You don’t need to tell me yet if you don’t want to.”
Kagome blushed, realizing how long she must have been thinking things through for him to let her off like that.
He continued. “I can wait until we know more or you have some trust in me. I’m sure this will take a good deal of time so we’re sure to get to know each other better. In the meantime we can start on the slim pickings in the library.”
“’Slim pickings’?” she mimed. “I thought you said you hadn’t looked into it yourself?”
“Oh, I haven’t,” he replied, grinning even bigger as he noted the small spark of suspicion that had risen again at her question. “I just know how politics work. In the past ningen studies of youkai have only been for the purpose of exploiting weaknesses.”
“War?” she asked dully.
He dropped his head slightly in a nod. “Yes. Of course, the youkai would have no such need to study our bodies to know how we are weaker than them. More likely they studied our technology, our weaponry. I doubt that even now they know much specifically about the human condition. But because of such history I doubt there would have been much collaboration between the two species for purely scientific study. Both parties would be too distrustful of the other’s motives, aware of all the other reasons possible to launch such a study.”
“I see.” Sometimes she hated being reminded how ugly reality could be. “But you think there will be some information in the library?”
“Yes. If nothing else there will likely be some pinched from a youkai source book about their own bodies – so how broadly it will apply I can’t be sure. At least it’s a start though.”
His optimism was contagious and Kagome found herself encouraged by his surety in the prospect of their research. She knew it would be a long and frustrating road but with someone else alongside perhaps they might accomplish something after all.
~ ~ ~
Despite all their good intentions, their research was going nowhere fast. Still, it was good to know she had someone to confide in or gripe to when she was feeling frustrated about the whole thing. Nonetheless it was plain obvious they were going to get next to no information from the books.
So Kagome did the only thing she could think of to do – she started wandering the youkai sector again. After all, she’d made it there before, on accident no less, and had come out fine, hadn’t she? Plus, more than anything she still wanted to know more about hanyou and how many could possibly be living around her, hidden in plain sight.
First thing she did was walk back to the market she’d found before. Of course, it wasn’t so simple since she’d been lost in thought when she first made it to the place, so it required more searching on her part but eventually she found it. This time though her nerves were running away with her since she wasn’t so distracted. In the end that didn’t matter though; it wasn’t like this was the first time she’d felt out of her element since meeting Inuyasha.
She had to fight back a small pang at his memory but that gave her the fire to push her hesitation aside and she marched into the small grocery like she owned the place, trying to give the shopping youkai a respectable berth while trying not to appear like she was avoiding them. As she inspected the items on the shelves she realized that even with them being clearly labeled she still had no idea what half of them were. Some of the others that she did recognize unfortunately had an adverse effect on her appetite and she couldn’t see anyone willingly buying and eating such things, but the number of baskets and arms piled high with the items spoke against her sentiments.
As nonchalantly as she could she made her way around the store, trying to familiarize herself with the differences, make mental notes of how similar other things were. All in all things weren’t so different, just slightly culturally unique, as if she’d tried to go shopping at a country market in Osaka. No big deal, really. In fact, she almost laughed as she spotted a display of pocky. They even had her favorite kind – chocolate almond.
These are so hard to find sometimes! She squealed internally even as she picked up four boxes. It was always good to stock up when the supply was at hand. She’d have grabbed more if she’d brought more change but she hadn’t really expected to find anything palatable at a youkai grocery.
Smiling broadly she made her way to the register. She wasn’t sure why she noticed but the last customer walked out the moment she set her pocky down to pay. Hoping that it wasn’t a subtle hint at avoidance and was merely a gift of providence she decided to take advantage of the privacy to ask the clerk a question that she knew wouldn’t be best asked in front of others.
“Say, have you ever heard of any hanyou living in these parts?” She stared directly at the clerk, a beautiful female youkai of what type she couldn’t tell, though she guessed some kind of bird relation, aspiring to pick up on any gestures or facial expressions she made that might give the youkai’s thoughts away.
The clerk startled but quickly turned a frosty glare on her. “I don’t know what you could be talking about, child.”
Kagome huffed at the dig at her age, especially since the youkai didn’t appear that much older than herself – but then she remembered Kouga and realized perhaps it wasn’t so far fetched a term for herself after all. She dug the money out of her pocket, knowing the clerk wasn’t going to be any use at all to her.
She was out the door only a split second later, cradling her beloved sweets and pondering the odd reaction she’d just gotten. Mentally she just shrugged it off; she’d known better than to expect any results or easy answers but she couldn’t just pass by such an obvious opening. Oh well, she mused. Just means I’ll have to keep trying. After all, Kagome was nothing if not persistent.
Swinging the bag in her hand she strolled back down the street to her house.
~ ~ ~
It had been three months! Three full months of researching and skulking around the youkai suburbs while asking discreet questions – and still nothing. She’d made little discovery other than people and youkai alike were antsy or downright hostile when on the subject of hanyou. Most though at least attempted an air of affected indifference or outright ignored her, pretending they’d never heard the subject brought up…though she still heard the whispers about herself behind her back. She wondered, sadly, if that’s how any of her theoretical hidden hanyou were treated on a daily basis – as though they didn’t really exist. Such thoughts only made her all the more determined to keep up her investigation.
There had been enough hints dropped and enough people responding strongly enough that she knew there had to be some hanyou around. She wanted to find them, to talk to them if she could. Most of all she wanted to do something to help them – but she couldn’t know what they most needed until she found out the specifics of their situations. Perhaps all she could do was be a friend, someone who knew of their existence outside their four sterile little walls.
She sighed and sagged briefly against a wall. Recently she’d taken to frequenting the smaller streets, the narrow winding paths between houses that she hadn’t noticed at first and then had been too hesitant to take after she had. Now she hoped that it might give her more of a clue or she might meet someone in passing who would finally answer her questions, or, who knew, the kami might smile on her and she might actually run into one in the backstreets.
She had to laugh at that. Obviously she was getting delusional to think she’d just bump into one of the infamously ‘non-existent’ hanyou in her wanderings. She turned to continue her trek up the alley only to be slammed harshly back into the wall.
What the heck?!
Her eyes squeezed shut at the force with which she hit and she wasn’t sure she wanted to open them when she heard the heavy breathing coming from somewhere above her. She’d learned, though, that ignoring a problem unfortunately didn’t make it go away, so with all the courage she could muster she forced herself to crack one eye open and came face to face with the largest, smelliest, and hairiest monster she’d ever seen. Her mouth widened to scream but she didn’t get the chance before his hand – an oddly hard one at that – clamped down and she was forced to breathe through her nose.
“You’re the one who’s been stirring everyone up by asking around about hanyou?”
Well there went all her ideas that she’d been discreet in her queries. The youkai’s voice was oddly pleasant for all his appearance and she took a closer look at him, trying to see past her racing heart and rampant fear. He looked to have long teeth of some sort. Fangs? No, tusks! Tusks, that was it. He must be a boar youkai of sorts. Not only that but he appeared fidgety, nervous. She assumed it was because he was assaulting a teenage girl in broad daylight and she fervently prayed with everything she could muster in her that he’d trip himself up.
“I asked you a question, human,” he hissed, shaking her slightly. “Now answer me!”
Since his hand was still firmly clenching her jaw shut she only managed to nod her head, which in and of itself was a feat with how strong his hold was on her.
“Good, then you’re coming with me.”
~ ~ ~
A/N:
And now, prepare for the Author’s Note from hell. Not bad, just really long ^_-
First off, sorries for getting this chapter out so late. I was sick for a good 3.5 weeks straight and I don’t function when ill. I’d actually started writing immediately, kicked into gear as I was by all the lovely reviews, but. Bam. Sick. Bah. Then I tried experimental style which I didn’t like and had trouble deciding the ending, but whatever. At least that means I’ve got a good portion of the next chapter written, right?
It feels like a ton of stuff happened in this chapter, it just seemed to go on forever! Haha. It was also a bit hard to write since our friendly neighborhood hanyou was lacking but he should be making an appearance sometime soon. As I mentioned, good solid chunks of next chapter are written but if it drags out too long it may get chopped in half. All depends. Joy of Joys.
Thanks again, of course, to my splendiforous beta Akihana, and of course all reviewers. It’s so great to know people read this because they actually like it and not just because they’re bored and there’s nothing else to read, haha. (I myself have read some mediocre fanfic just for that reason, haha. Yes, I’m terrible.) ^_-
In general:
I’m so glad to know most of you guys think I’m keeping the characters IN CHARACTER. Please, if you EVER feel I’m not staying true to them then point it out to me. I can’t guarantee I’ll change it b/c it might just be a difference in opinion but if it’s something that you make me look at again and I agree then I’ll do my best to fix because OOC is a huge pet peeve of mine.
Now, a few reviews that must be replied to:
Angelica_Pierce:
You made me laugh with your first line. Spot on.
Also, to tell the truth I agree with you about how it felt a bit short and the second month was rushed through. I tried but I just couldn’t figure out any way to lengthen it without making it trite or forced. Nothing big happened – Inuyasha just got a taste of normal life. Being away from hell will do that to a guy. I don’t think he’s even realized himself that much yet. But hopefully there will be some pulls from that time coming into later chapters. Thanks for the honest input.
Sassa:
You made me very happy. Again, I’m so glad you saw through to the heart of matters. You nailed what I was trying to convey and it makes me so glad to see that it comes through clearly. I tend to get things muddled in my head a lot ^_-
WTW:
“over the years” *sweatdrops* It really has been that long hasn’t it. My goodness. I guess that’s what happens what I post a one-shot then have to reformulate it into a multi-chaptered fic, but still…Thanks for keeping with it! ^_^
rowdygirl:
That review really just made me laugh out loud. (pretty much every time I read it too.) Thanks for the honesty, I love it ^_-
Qui:
You absolutely cracked me up. Yes, Inuyasha’s a bonehead, but it wasn’t as asshole-ish a move as much as an ignorant one. He believes he is simply unlovable and it’s impossible to love him – therefore Kagome must be delusional and think she’s in love just because she’s young enough and naïve enough to not know better. He blames himself for allowing her to believe this when it can’t be true. Not so much throwing it back in her face as it is a denial. But don’t worry – we’ll work on our hanyou’s perception of reality. ^_-
Mickiressa:
Thanks for the encouragement, love it. And I am working on a more intricate KakaSaku fic but it won’t be near the level of Shrine Prostitute because this story is still sucking the life out of me. Glad you like em both though (and honored that you liked SP enough to reread. That’s a true testament, ne? I say that because I’m a rereader myself) ^_^
Caela:
I love lurkers ^_-
~ ~ ~
Original posting: September 25, 2007
~ ~ ~
Chapter 13: Tenacious
----holding fast to a purpose, course of action, or opinion; resolute
----pertinacious, persistent, stubborn, or obstinate.
----holding together; cohesive; not easily pulled asunder; tough.
~ ~ ~
For hours Kagome knelt in a daze on the bed, hands fisted limply on her thighs as she replayed the events of the night over and over in her head. She’d been so naive, so ignorant, to think such a profound conversation could go smoothly. Nothing in Inuyasha’s life was ever without drama. For some reason her understanding of his past, his hurts, and how they applied to his actions and decisions stopped at the word ‘love.’
How could she expect him to drop his shields and accept her at her word? She had thought he’d want it so much, desired so greatly to be wanted and appreciated for who he was, that he’d jump at the chance. But of course such an area could also deal him the most hurt. She’d thought he’d trusted her…apparently she’d been wrong.
She watched distantly as the sun peeked through the curtains in the window, light splaying across the bed in indistinct patterns. Slowly it crept up until, as the glow fell across her knees and crept its way up, she felt a simultaneous fire light up inside of her.
So what?! she demanded of herself. She hadn’t decided to pull paperwork on him because she was in love with him – oh that certainly helped, but it was a secondary motive. No, she wanted to give him equal rights in society because that was what he deserved, it’s what anyone would deserve.
They could deal with the intimacies of their relationship later; she refused to trap him in her shrine any more than the Bacana Shrine. If through time he came to love her, well, then fantastic, but if not then it didn’t matter. In the end she loved him and that was enough for her to do what she needed to do.
Eyes blazing she leapt up from the bed and dressed, gathering her words to explain herself to her mother; the older woman would want some words before they set off for the courthouse.
~ ~ ~
Kagome fidgeted nervously with the phone cord, waiting impatiently for the line to pick up, nearly dropping the handset when it did.
“Moshi-moshi, Bacana Shrine.”
“Ryu-san?” she inquired timidly. If he’d gotten any wind about the situation she wasn’t sure how he’d react to her in that moment.
His voice was suddenly much more alert. “Is this Kagome?”
“Yeah, is Inuyasha back yet?” She knew he should be fine but something in the back of her mind wouldn’t let her rest until she heard it confirmed.
“Yes, he’s back, and in one heck of a snit. What on earth happened? Why did he come back without you?”
She winced at that. Originally she’d been set to return with Inuyasha to the Shrine in order to make sure he got there without any trouble – after all, it was still only the rosary and her command over it that gave him any modicum of safety. Actually, without her with him, she wondered how he made his way at all. She couldn’t see him taking the train with how little he’d liked it. The sudden image of him racing hell-bent across residential rooftops did not make her feel any more at ease.
“Ah, yeah, about that…um…” How to start? Perhaps the most critical for Ryu to know first. “Remember that paperwork you told me about?”
Ryu’s stomach dropped. “You didn’t.”
She nodded before catching herself, recalling she was on the phone. “I did – but before you say anything Inuyasha has no idea. I brought up the idea but he stomped it down quite thoroughly before he ran off. He doesn’t know I actually went through with it. The baka,” she muttered the last under her breath.
“Kagome, you are really an idiot of a girl.” He sighed. “Why would you go and pull a stupid stunt like that?”
“Because, like you said Ryu, he deserves to be an equal – or at least as close to one as we can make him with all the stupid legal red tape. My family loves him and was more than willing to take on the responsibility in case anything happens to me.”
“You’re serious…” he said, partly in awe, as the reality of the situation was just beginning to dawn on him.
“I couldn’t leave him like he was; that would just be too inhumane. I needed to let you know right away though so that you can be aware of his new legal status as essentially ‘human’ and see that he gets a bit more of his rights there in the Shrine…maybe even keep some of the worst clients from him?” she added hopefully.
He shook his head to clear it. He knew this would take a goodly amount of time to sort through.
“Ok, fine.” Pinching the bridge of his nose he could already predict the headache this was going to be. “But if he doesn’t know about it then that doesn’t explain his rather abrupt and dramatic entrance here.”
She didn’t want to tell him. She really, really didn’t want to tell him.
Sensing her holding back he griped at her. “I’m the one on the receiving end of his foul mood over here. You better tell me what’s going on so I know what I’m dealing with.”
“There’s nothing you’ll be able to do,” she answered, still reluctant. “It’s all between the two of us anyhow.”
“Tell that to the four walls he’s taken chunks out of already.”
That stunned her for a moment. “Really?” she said breathlessly.
Ryu actually growled at her. “Kagome…”
“All right, all right… I–I told him I love him.” She cringed, both from the memory of how wonderfully that had gone over and from fear or Ryu’s reaction.
“You wha-!” he yelled, cutting himself off as he remembered where he was. Turning to scan the room he waved at one passing customer before leaving his back to the room at large and lowering his voice to a heated whisper. “You what?”
There was no sound coming from the phone. There wasn’t a dial tone, however, and the cord was still plugged into the wall so he knew the line was still connected. He shook his head silently in denial.
“I take it his response wasn’t exactly what you’d hoped for?” he asked, hoping he kept the frustration from leaking into his voice.
“Not exactly,” she answered hesitantly, if morosely, “but I guess that’s my own fault for just blurting it out without thinking it through.”
“Why, Kagome? Why, when you’ve been so careful about everything else, would you do this now?”
“I asked him to stay with me – permanently – and he needed a reason. You know as well as I do it’s the only thing that could possibly motivate him to stay. He’s all pride and if he thought I had any other motive then he’d suspect pity, which you know he wouldn’t be able to accept. I thought he could trust me in this but I guess I just pushed him too far too quickly.”
He couldn’t help but want to comfort the girl as the misery slowly leaked into her voice, growing with each word he spoke, but what could one say in a situation like this? No matter what there was no easy way out and it would be inevitable to have some pain along the way, despite where it led in the end.
“I don’t know what to tell you-”
“It’s okay,” she interrupted. “I didn’t call to dump this all on you, though I suppose it is only right you know. I just wanted to make sure you got Inuyasha the extra protection he deserves and is now finally legally permitted to.”
He smiled wryly into the phone. “I’ll do everything I can, you can be guaranteed that much at least.” After a short pause he continued. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”
“I don’t think there’s anything you can do…it seems like everything else will be stuck between that stubborn jerk and I…” She trailed off but he took her meaning immediately.
“So when will you be coming back? Should I make arrangements for next week?”
She smiled softly into the phone, glad to have someone who not only understood but who was willing to be her friend through the situation and give what aid he could. His support meant more than she could ever tell him.
“It won’t be for a while, I think. My family already spent so much to provide the two months we just had, and while it seems the kami have indeed been pleased and are blessing the shrine, it’s still just not enough to send me off on another jaunt so soon. Not only that but I’m starting school next week.” She shuddered slightly at that recollection. “I still have so much to prepare, things I set aside this last month, and I can’t just skip out on that.
“But mostly…” she paused, mentally bracing herself against her next words, “I think we both need time to cool off first. I…I have no idea what Inuyasha is thinking right now, whether he’s just mad or if he’s truly disgusted with me…maybe even hates me…”
Ryu interrupted her. “Now you couldn’t possibly think that after everything you two have been through.”
“You didn’t see his face when he left. You didn’t see the way he – oh Ryu I’ve never seen him like that before. I feel like I broke some part of him. Maybe you were right about getting his hopes up just to dash them and throw him back into that hellhole – only I never imagined he’d be the one to go jumping back so readily.”
“You can’t honestly think he was eager to come back here,” he argued.
“No,” she agreed, “but I can think I did things wrong to make him think that was his only option, his safety. Oh, but it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have sprung things on him like that. I should have known, should have seen…”
“There’s no reason to go into ‘should haves’ Kagome. The past is done and all you can do is figure out how to work with what you have. Got it?”
She smiled again. She really did appreciate the man. No self-pity for her, no sir. She’d started all this so now she needed to buck up and fight for it. She supposed she’d known all along it would never be easy – but a girl could always hope.
“Yes, you’re right,” she told him. “And that’s one reason I’m waiting to come back. We both need to think things through quite a bit and I need to work on my understanding some more. It won’t do any good for me to be pushing his limits too far again.
“My plan for now is to come back in ten months – a year to date from the first time I was there. That’ll be after my term is done, I should have been able to dig up some more information, and hopefully it’ll be a good way to start over. In the meantime we’ll be able to communicate to each other in other ways and have to rely on personal rather than just physical connection. What do you think?”
“I think that sounds like a plan. You’ll let me know if anything changes though? If you want to come sooner?”
“Of course I will.”
He flipped through the pages in his book and pulled up the correct date. “How long do you want me to schedule you in for?”
“The full two weeks of course. Full-nighters too – I don’t want anyone to be cruel to him when I can prevent it. You’ll look into his rights as my protectee now, right?”
“I’ve already told you I’ll do whatever I can to see him safe. I take it you want to be the one to tell him?”
She paused, so long Ryu thought she might not answer. “I don’t think I want him to know yet.”
He was truly baffled. “Why ever not?”
“Because then he’ll feel obligated to me – and you know how much he’ll hate that, how much it’ll rankle at his pride that a puny human is protecting him. Besides, as I said earlier, it’s a matter of him trusting me and my motives. Until he does he’ll feel it’s just another prison. You know as well as I do that even if he knew right now that he had the same rights as a human he wouldn’t take advantage of it, eaten up with arrogance as the stubborn hanyou he is. He’d probably still sit in the Shrine same as he is now.”
Ryu hated, actually loathed the picture she painted, of how hard Inuyasha was working against himself, but he had to admit that in all reality it was true. Kagome had given him the perfect opportunity for an out and he’d all but slammed it in her face. At the same time though, it would go against everything he was to accept it. So what she said, as sad as it was and as hard as it was to accept, was completely valid. It would do Inuyasha no good to know the reality of it because it would just make it that much harder for him to accept the olive branch in the future.
“Ok, I’ll do my best to keep it discreet. You know, though, that means I won’t be able to protect him from clients and such as fully as I would otherwise?”
She hated it, hated Inuyasha himself right then for making it so she couldn’t do anything other than agree to allow him pain in the short run in order to hopefully save him later. “Yes, I know. In the long run I suppose it’s all we can do if we hope to ever be able to get him out of this mess.”
They both fell silent a moment, contemplating the enormity of the situation they were facing and their new roles in it. Ryu took the time to look around the room again to gauge his privacy and noticed a large group unloading outside the main doors of the Shrine. It looked like his time was up.
“I’m sorry but I’m still on duty and an entire gaggle of newbies are on their way through the door. Are you sure there’s nothing else I can do for you?”
“Well, maybe I…I mean, you…”
“Yes, Kagome?”
She breathed in deeply and fortified her heart against the coming question. “Just tell me, do you think he could ever love me, Ryu?”
The question took him by surprise even though he should have seen it coming. Sometimes he forgot just how young she really was. He hesitated, not liking what he had to say, but knowing she’d be more grateful for blunt truth. “I wish I could tell you yes…”
Sighing, she leaned back against the wall. She’d known that was likely to be his answer but hadn’t been able to help but hope. Still, like she’d said, in the end it was between herself and Inuyasha. “So is that a ‘no’ or an ‘I don’t know’?”
Please don’t be ‘no’, please don’t be ‘no’, she chanted. At least with that she’d still have some hope. Besides, she’d been able to pull Inuyasha out that much from Ryu’s expectations – bringing him to her apartment, his own insistence to accompany her home for the month – hope could do glorious things, as long as it wasn’t crushed completely.
Ryu wasn’t a fool. He knew what she was searching for here, and despite the fact that he didn’t think Inuyasha would ever put himself in such a vulnerable position, he couldn’t bring himself to take all aspirations away from her. He only prayed his own hope wouldn’t fail them both.
“I don’t know, Kagome,” he said, shaking his head, “I just don’t know.”
~ ~ ~
There were only three more days before she started medical school but she couldn’t bring herself to focus on her studies. She should be taking practice exams, dissecting her anatomy books, learning as much as she could to be prepared. After all, only the top percentage of any class ever got placement or were allowed to work in the on-campus clinic. Really, she needed to get her head out of the clouds.
But no matter what she did he wouldn’t leave her mind.
Was Inuyasha’s case really that unique? Were there other hanyou out there trapped in similarly unseemly, untenable positions or was it just him? Ryu had hinted at hanyou being sequestered away by their families as an embarrassment – but how often was that the case?
It made her head spin.
There were too many scenarios. From Kouga’s inferences she assumed that many youkai-human couples aborted their babies so as to not bring about any ‘monstrosities’ in the world.
She couldn’t suppress her shudder at that concept. How could a parent ever think of a child as anything less than perfect?
But then that begged the question of how many parents would refuse abortion but then raise a child in a glorified prison cell in their own home.
Turning, she wandered down a street she’d never bothered to take before, not even taking notice of the difference in décor as her mind continued churning. How many of the families that ‘kept’ hanyou did so because they were embarrassed or ashamed, and how many because there was simply no other option? If these families knew what she knew about the draft Inu no Taisho had made up for a legal framework…
She shook her head. She was letting her thoughts run away with her. There was no point going that far ahead when she didn’t even know if any hanyou existed in the area. She wished she had the right to tell the world about the paperwork she’d taken on Inuyasha – it could possibly open so many doors – but she couldn’t until he accepted it himself first. Even then she didn’t know what kind of adverse reactions such a declaration could possibly have on his safety.
It was all just so confusing.
Looking up she noticed someone staring at her strangely, and at the markings she assumed she (or he, embarrassingly enough she really couldn’t tell at the distance) was a youkai.
That was another thing she wondered: was it more likely for the youkai pair of the couple to house the hanyou child? It seemed like it made sense. Despite the fact that another youkai might be able to detect the hidden family member by scent (unless they had some kind of screening method she didn’t know of), it was almost beneath the notice of a full-blooded youkai to spend time on a hanyou, as they’d discussed when putting the rosary on Inuyasha,. Aside from that, if it came down to it then the youkai family could more aptly physically defend the hanyou if they really desired to. No guns, no ‘shoot on sight’ commands, no ignorant public – they were just ignored instead.
Then of course there was the whole aging situation. Just how quickly did hanyou age, anyhow? Did they follow the youkai or ningen heredity where that was concerned, or did they land somewhere in the middle? The implications as to how that could affect her relationship with Inuyasha made her head spin; she hadn't even thought about it before.
She couldn’t really put her head around it and lifted her hand to her temple as she looked up again. The youkai was still there, still staring…wait, youkai?! Kagome had been so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn’t been paying attention to where she’d walked. She did so now, taking a step back and gazing up at the high walls, the old-fashioned lamps hanging everywhere, the strangely muted smells…
To her left she noticed a large doorway just a little ways up and though she knew she should be cautious in this uncharted territory she couldn’t help her curiosity. Besides, as far as she knew there was nothing to be worried about other than feeling awkward – she hadn’t read anywhere that interracial interaction was limited – after all, how did the hanyou come to be? It just … didn’t happen often. Prejudices of mankind (and demonkind too she supposed) and all.
Hesitantly walking up to the doorway she saw it was a small grocery, and from what she could see from her vantage point it all seemed incredibly foreign – she could identify very few articles in the front displays. The clerk gave her an odd look but didn’t make any move toward her so she felt she could have relaxed but this was enough shock for one day. Backing away slowly she nodded once to the store worker, once to the youkai in the street, then as nonchalantly as possible walked back toward the ningen sector and home.
~ ~ ~
Kagome sat in the classroom, twirling her pen in her fingers. The first couple weeks of school had been hard and sometimes she had to force herself focus, but she’d adjusted well enough. Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi had all gone their separate ways: Yuka to be a beautician, Ayumi to be a teacher – surprise, surprise – but Eri was the biggest shock of all, going into science. Ever since her mother had died of cancer she’d become enthralled with the idea of studying different genomes and how to prevent or treat advanced diseases. Houjo was in the same program as her - his family did run a clinic after all - so she saw him from time to time. In fact, if she tilted her head just so, she could catch his profile in the corner of her eye, listening with rapt attention to the professor.
She had to smile at that. Professor Hirohito wasn’t typical of the medical profession. In fact, he was quite often considered ‘eccentric’ and many students didn’t give him the respect he deserved. She was glad Houjo didn’t fall into that group. For herself, she loved that the man didn’t fit into the given mold – even if it meant she thought he was half-crazy. It was evident he’d had to work his way to the top, proving himself time and time again due to his character, but he’d earned every iota of respect he now got – even if it was still sometimes grudgingly from others in the field.
Before the first day of class she’d given herself the assignment of reading work and thesis from each professor she’d be studying under so as to understand what field they were passionate about and where they’d likely pick materials to teach from. That had been part of what she’d intended to do with that extra time before she’d so suddenly summoned Inuyasha to her home for a month, but she made sure to get a little bit of the reading in.
Professor Hirohito’s work fascinated her with its different outlook and perspective. It was truly inspired since so many human conditions had been solved by thinking outside of the so-called box.
Something in the lecture at the moment suddenly snapped her attention back:
“Though the physical structure continues to grow throughout infancy it is, in fact, already dying. The nature of our bodies is such that each individual part wears out after a given time. Like a car, with more frequent check ups and better tune ups, the life-span increases dramatically, but unlike a machine it cannot be overhauled time and time again indefinitely. Such drastic procedures in our fragile forms sometimes, instead of helping, actually weaken the overall state because of the strain it puts on the healing system.
“That is why it is important to not prescribe multiple treatments, or start at the most extreme and work down. The human body can only take so much. Even with our pill-popping multi-vitamins, our improved sanitary and living conditions, and our increasing medical knowledge, the physical limit hasn’t changed and despite all precautions the body will begin breaking down around age 60, typically resulting in death by age 80-85.
“Our society as we know it today is the healthiest we have ever known of and our life expectancy is tremendously higher than has been experienced in any other time that we can document a corpse from. Take, for example, the typical situation from five to six centuries ago, where the male life-expectancy was 35 and the female was oftentimes 20 or lower depending on child-birthing conditions. Though we’re steps ahead no one can push the physical limit beyond age 130, despite whatever procedures you may put a body under. There is a threshold to be endured and that must be respected at all times.”
Professor Hirohito looked up from his notes.
“Yes, Miss Higurashi?”
Kagome was half-surprised to hear her own name called, only barely registering that she’d raised her hand, but since the question was there, milling around in her mind, she figured she may as well ask.
“What is it about youkai physiology then that makes it so different? The genetic material, the bone density, the lifestyle, the youkai, what?”
She looked around her at the stunned gasp and startled murmurs from many of the other students. Was what she was saying really so out of the ordinary?
The professor adjusted his low ponytail slightly and pushed his glasses back up his nose. This is interesting…most interesting, he thought. “I’m sorry to say that I myself have not made any inspection into what causes the distinctions, merely that they are there. If you wish to know more I suggest you consult our library here – it is quite extensive and I’m sure you’ll be able to find something. Aside from that, inside this classroom human physiology is all that matters because it is all that you’ll be practicing in the field.”
He regretted the few smug smirks that were now sent her way at her ‘set down’ but the girl didn’t seem to pay them any heed at all. If anything, he was more intrigued than ever at the small scowl she sent his way and the way her brow furrowed – as if she were thinking of much deeper things than what she’d mentioned aloud. This could take some more looking into, he mused.
The class ended only a few minutes later and he caught her promptly before she’d had the chance to leave through the door. “I’d like a word Miss Higurashi. Please come by my office later this afternoon. Understood?”
She nodded absentmindedly, wondering if he was going to lecture her further, and resolved to get it over with as quickly as possible. She had better things to do, like getting to that library he had mentioned…
“I’ll be there in half-hour. Is that all right?”
The smile, not to mention the semi-mocking salute he gave her made her suddenly curious, suspicious even. He was the school’s curio, right? So what was the likelihood of his calling her for something as mundane as a scolding? Maybe he took his classroom policies more strictly than most, an obsession of sorts? She couldn’t pull any other likely scenarios to mind, so she shrugged it off and resigned herself to finding out in another thirty minutes.
~ ~ ~
She waited impatiently as the line rang and rang. Someone had to pick up, didn’t they? She’d purposely waited to call mid-afternoon so that the Shrine wouldn’t be busy yet but she hoped it was late enough that there was someone still manning the front desk and they weren’t all sleeping. Actually, she’d never really bothered to find out if the Bacana Shrine had any hours it was officially ‘closed’.
“Moshi-moshi, Bacana Shrine,” answered the sleepy voice.
“Ryu?”
He cracked a yawn, all professionalism pushed aside once he heard who it was. “Ah, Kagome. To what do I owe the pleasure.”
“I’m sorry,” she stammered, “did I wake you up?”
“That you did. If no one’s stationed at the desk then the phone automatically forwards to my apartments. They’re on the grounds so if anyone needs something I’m able to get to it quickly enough.”
She gave him a mirthful little chuckle. “You really are married to that place, aren’t you?”
“Yes, yes,” he grumbled back. “Now what are you doing calling me at…” he fumbled for his clock, “4:00 in the afternoon? I don’t have to be up for another hour or so…”
“Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t sure what your schedule was, I just wanted to make sure I called at an appropriate time for this.”
“This…?” he asked leadingly.
“I wanted to see if I could talk to Inuyasha.”
“Ahh, time to patch things up, is it?”
She smiled ruefully. As if things would go that easily. “I don’t know how far we’ll get with that but it’s been too long already. I miss him.”
“All right, all right, I’ll see what I can do. Just stay on the line here but be patient, I’ve got to head over to the main building and wake him up – which won’t make him very happy to start off with but take it as it comes. Should be able to pick up a line over there, so give me about 10 minutes. Can you hang on there?”
She glanced at her watch. That would mean she would only have about 10 minutes to talk with Inuyasha but it was better than nothing. She could always call back later if things were going well.
“That’s fine, Ryu. I’ll still be here when he picks up.”
Then she waited. And waited.
She pulled out one of her textbooks to flip through, trying to distract herself, but when she found herself destroying the edges of the pages she quickly put it away, knowing it was useless to try to focus on anything else.
Finally, after what seemed an eternity, she heard the phone pick up. “Yes? Inuyasha?” she breathed excitedly.
“No, Kagome, it’s me.”
She immediately deflated, stunned. Ryu’s voice was the last thing she’d expected to hear. Then her mind started racing. Had Inuyasha had a really bad night last night and was still recovering? Was he that bad of a morning person that he wouldn’t wake up early for any reason? Was he…avoiding her?
“I see. Why isn’t Inuyasha with you?”
Ryu sighed heavily into the phone and her heart dropped. “Listen, you told me before that this is between the two of you, right? I can’t get into the middle of this.”
Well…it seemed that was her answer. “Yeah, I understand. Sorry for putting you in that position.”
She sounded so small to his ears, not like the girl he knew. “Hey, why don’t you try something that he doesn’t have to respond to immediately?”
She perked up slightly. “You mean like a letter?” Actually, that sounded like a fantastic idea. That way she’d be able to put her thoughts into order – she knew most likely she’d be a bit incoherent on the phone with him, hearing his voice for the first time in over a month. Plus, she had said she would be patient, right? This would give him his own timeframe to form his own thoughts, his own reply. She just prayed she’d have the patience she aimed for since she had no idea how long it would take him to write back, if he ever did. She hoped just getting her own thoughts across would be enough for her and she didn’t go crazy in the meantime.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea Kagome.”
“Ryu, you know I’ll probably still call anyhow. Though writing gives more time for thinking it’s nothing compared to hearing his voice.”
“I know.”
“I’ll do my best to not stick you in the middle though and if I’m pushing you too much you just tell me.”
He had to smile at that. The girl was just as stubborn as her hanyou, though she did try to be a bit more considerate about it. “All right then. I’ll consider myself warned.”
“Ja ne, and…Ryu? Thank you, for everything.”
~ ~ ~
Kagome knocked softly on the open door before popping her head in. “You wanted to see me?”
“Yes Higurashi, please sit down. Oh, and do shut the door first.” The professor turned back to his desk and put the finishing touches on a couple papers before facing her fully. He quickly took in the fact that she was sitting on the very edge of her chair, fidgeting anxiously, as though ready to jump at the slightest provocation. He wondered briefly if it had to do with the topic at hand before he had the epiphany.
Ah, so that’s what she’s worried about! He had to chuckle at it, which didn’t do anything for the poor girl’s nerves, but he couldn’t help it. After all, he supposed it wasn’t that unheard of a situation. Still, he’d never thought anyone would think him capable of coming onto his own student.
“On second thought, come with me.” He stood and moved out his door, Kagome forced to follow as he walked rapidly away.
“Where are we going?” she asked, catching up.
“To my laboratory. There are plenty of windows and observation decks so you won’t have to worry about being alone with me, but I can turn all the microphones off so we’ll still have our privacy.”
Kagome was caught off guard by his statement and insinuations, as absorbed as she had been in her own thoughts, but mused that she should be grateful for his concern. She supposed it was the easiest conclusion to come to since he couldn’t have any idea what was really making her edgy. Belatedly she felt oddly guilty that she hadn’t worried about that in the first place. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wasn’t worried at all!”
He stopped abruptly to give her a lascivious wink. “Then maybe you should have been.” Her face was simply priceless and his raucous laughter reverberated down the hall as they continued on, Kagome’s cheeks blazing. No wonder everyone thinks he’s a nut job…
The smile that came reluctantly to her face made her realize she felt a bit more at ease now. Whether he’d done that on purpose to lighten the mood or if that was just one of his more quirky behavior coming out she didn’t know, but she felt that maybe she could begin to like this doctor after all.
And, despite everything, she had to admit – though she’d die before she did so out loud – she did appreciate the effort. The change of location would make her much more comfortable for whatever conversation he had in mind to discuss. Finally they entered and she couldn’t help but gawk at the place.
It was huge! There were skeletons, books, wall hangings with anatomical structures dissected and depicted out; there was a part set aside for chemical research, another set up like a mini-clinic or operating room itself – must be what the observation deck is for, she realized. It was mind-goggling that this one man had been given so much space and lee-way within this building and it spoke to how much accreditation he had within his profession. She couldn’t help her respect rising tremendously for him.
“Now, what is this about youkai?” He turned abruptly serious as soon as the door was shut, throwing her off her stride so that she fumbled for an answer.
“I…uh…what do you mean?”
“What do you know about youkai and why do you want to know about them?”
Her mind was spinning slightly. This was the last thing she’d suspected when he’d asked to see her and to give herself a moment to regain her bearing she allowed her suspicion to raise to the front. “Why do you care so much?”
“You’re the one who brought it up in my classroom, Miss Higurashi, I’m merely following up. Now how much do you know?”
She paused a moment, measured him carefully. “I’ll tell you when you answer one thing for me first. If a wounded youkai came in here right now what would you do: treat him as well you could, give him a Band-Aid and a lollipop, ignore him, or run him off?”
Obviously she was trying to gauge where his sympathies lay. In which case… “It appears you’ve learned enough or at least a specific something to make you paranoid.”
She huffed indignantly but he held up a hand. “No, I’m not saying that’s not wise, though you did burn that bridge a bit when you showed such undivided interest earlier today.”
“It was just a simple question,” she hedged. “I didn’t know it would be so outrageous.”
“Ah, but the fact that you think so is what makes it outrageous,” he spurted. “Now to get to the heart of things I’ve never been terribly pro-youkai, but neither have I been against them. They’re just in a different world. Doesn’t mean that if one came knocking on my door I’d treat it as such though.
“And as for your question…well I have taken the Hippocratic Oath after all. Some doctors have specific definitions of where they’ll apply their skill, but not me. I’ve always thought that life is life and what did I bother to study for and learn how to help heal something if I don’t apply it whenever and wherever I get the chance? I take it to mean aiding all life – so whether you brought me an animal, a youkai, or a human I’d do my best.”
“What about a hanyou?” she supplied quickly, blushing even while she met his gaze head on.
“So this is what it’s about. You're pregnant?”
She spluttered at his query. “N- no! Of course not!”
“Hm, interesting,” was all he said, shrugging his shoulders. That did make him wonder though just why the specific interest. Perhaps there was one in her family? Maybe she thought of taking a youkai lover and considered fully the complete ramifications? Or perhaps she really just did come at this all theoretically.
“Well, go on then,” he encouraged. “You obviously brought it up because you had some questions and now that we’re not surrounded by a group of righteously indignant students you’re free to do so. Please, be my guest.”
“I guess, for starters, is there really information in that library that has information on youkai physiology?”
“Yes, though how complete it is I couldn’t say as I haven’t checked on it myself.”
“Do you know anything specifically about it?” she sniped, annoyed at his apparent evasion.
“I haven’t done any research myself, no, but I do hear little snippets. All in all it’s not much though.”
She didn’t know what happened. It could have been that he didn’t laugh at her and seemed to be taking it seriously. It could have been that she was just so pressed for answers and was finally possibly getting closer to it. Maybe she was just sick of sitting on it so long herself.
The recent conversation with Ryu came flashing into her mind and she had to force herself to recall that she couldn’t control Inuyasha’s actions, only her own. Providence had landed her right here, right now, and she’d be a fool to not take advantage of it and perhaps even learn something that would be useful. It was possible this would come back around on her and bite her but if she was afraid of everything then nothing would ever get done. She was in this situation now; she’d have to deal with anything in the future as it came up.
Regardless of the reason everything came bursting out at once.
“What is it that makes them so different from humans that they can live for centuries but compatible enough that they can make children together? Are distinct species of youkai separated on a grander scale like one animal to another or more like different races of human? Since the two are compatible is it possible to transplant youkai body parts to a human or vice versa? What determines how much of each parent is inherited in a hanyou child? Could two children from the same parents be completely different? Would different species live for varying amounts of time? Why are hanyou seen as inferior when they are the product of two superior and equal beings?”
The room rang silent, Kagome’s heavy breathing from her heated ruminations the only sound until, quite suddenly, Professor Hirohito started laughing. Not softly, but full out belly laughs that had him bent over in his chair.
Kagome glowered at the man. The only reason she’d shared so much was because he hadn’t mocked her and now look at him! She was furious, both at him for his behavior and herself for giving so much away. Now he’d probably be breathing down her neck all year. Swiftly she spun on her heel and marched toward the door. Only her professor’s voice stopped her because, dang it, her mother had done too well in her remonstrations of how well she needed to respect her elders and superiors (even if she did occasionally ‘forget’ from time to time).
“No, please, wait. That was wonderful! Don’t you see? I’ve never seen anyone get worked up like that on this subject before. Hell, I’ve never heard half these questions voiced before – especially those on hanyou. Seems to be a touchy subject all around.”
She turned back to face him head on, trying to gauge his sincerity.
“Like I said, I’m no expert on the subject, but this most definitely intrigues me. I’d like to help you along, if you don’t mind, and we’ll see what we can discover between the two of us. With two oddball, outside thinkers like ourselves it shouldn’t be too difficult, now, ne?”
His smile was contagious and she couldn’t help herself as she grinned back at him. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad after all. Since she didn’t know enough about the human structure yet to compare them on a minute scale she would appreciate being able to pick his brain about it.
“I’ll even keep it discreet if you wish,” he was still rambling. “Although, if we do discover something worthy of publishing I would like to get that out before someone else makes one similar…”
He paused as though just realizing she was still in the room. “I say, girl, what brought up all this unusual interest in the first place?”
She hedged. She was starting to really like this doctor but she was learning to be paranoid when it came to Inuyasha. Besides, she could say this didn’t have to do strictly with him since she wasn’t looking at operating on him – he’d just…made her curious. Yes, that was all. He was just the spark off. Surely the professor had no need to know about that.
“All right, Higurashi, all right,” he said laughingly. “You don’t need to tell me yet if you don’t want to.”
Kagome blushed, realizing how long she must have been thinking things through for him to let her off like that.
He continued. “I can wait until we know more or you have some trust in me. I’m sure this will take a good deal of time so we’re sure to get to know each other better. In the meantime we can start on the slim pickings in the library.”
“’Slim pickings’?” she mimed. “I thought you said you hadn’t looked into it yourself?”
“Oh, I haven’t,” he replied, grinning even bigger as he noted the small spark of suspicion that had risen again at her question. “I just know how politics work. In the past ningen studies of youkai have only been for the purpose of exploiting weaknesses.”
“War?” she asked dully.
He dropped his head slightly in a nod. “Yes. Of course, the youkai would have no such need to study our bodies to know how we are weaker than them. More likely they studied our technology, our weaponry. I doubt that even now they know much specifically about the human condition. But because of such history I doubt there would have been much collaboration between the two species for purely scientific study. Both parties would be too distrustful of the other’s motives, aware of all the other reasons possible to launch such a study.”
“I see.” Sometimes she hated being reminded how ugly reality could be. “But you think there will be some information in the library?”
“Yes. If nothing else there will likely be some pinched from a youkai source book about their own bodies – so how broadly it will apply I can’t be sure. At least it’s a start though.”
His optimism was contagious and Kagome found herself encouraged by his surety in the prospect of their research. She knew it would be a long and frustrating road but with someone else alongside perhaps they might accomplish something after all.
~ ~ ~
Despite all their good intentions, their research was going nowhere fast. Still, it was good to know she had someone to confide in or gripe to when she was feeling frustrated about the whole thing. Nonetheless it was plain obvious they were going to get next to no information from the books.
So Kagome did the only thing she could think of to do – she started wandering the youkai sector again. After all, she’d made it there before, on accident no less, and had come out fine, hadn’t she? Plus, more than anything she still wanted to know more about hanyou and how many could possibly be living around her, hidden in plain sight.
First thing she did was walk back to the market she’d found before. Of course, it wasn’t so simple since she’d been lost in thought when she first made it to the place, so it required more searching on her part but eventually she found it. This time though her nerves were running away with her since she wasn’t so distracted. In the end that didn’t matter though; it wasn’t like this was the first time she’d felt out of her element since meeting Inuyasha.
She had to fight back a small pang at his memory but that gave her the fire to push her hesitation aside and she marched into the small grocery like she owned the place, trying to give the shopping youkai a respectable berth while trying not to appear like she was avoiding them. As she inspected the items on the shelves she realized that even with them being clearly labeled she still had no idea what half of them were. Some of the others that she did recognize unfortunately had an adverse effect on her appetite and she couldn’t see anyone willingly buying and eating such things, but the number of baskets and arms piled high with the items spoke against her sentiments.
As nonchalantly as she could she made her way around the store, trying to familiarize herself with the differences, make mental notes of how similar other things were. All in all things weren’t so different, just slightly culturally unique, as if she’d tried to go shopping at a country market in Osaka. No big deal, really. In fact, she almost laughed as she spotted a display of pocky. They even had her favorite kind – chocolate almond.
These are so hard to find sometimes! She squealed internally even as she picked up four boxes. It was always good to stock up when the supply was at hand. She’d have grabbed more if she’d brought more change but she hadn’t really expected to find anything palatable at a youkai grocery.
Smiling broadly she made her way to the register. She wasn’t sure why she noticed but the last customer walked out the moment she set her pocky down to pay. Hoping that it wasn’t a subtle hint at avoidance and was merely a gift of providence she decided to take advantage of the privacy to ask the clerk a question that she knew wouldn’t be best asked in front of others.
“Say, have you ever heard of any hanyou living in these parts?” She stared directly at the clerk, a beautiful female youkai of what type she couldn’t tell, though she guessed some kind of bird relation, aspiring to pick up on any gestures or facial expressions she made that might give the youkai’s thoughts away.
The clerk startled but quickly turned a frosty glare on her. “I don’t know what you could be talking about, child.”
Kagome huffed at the dig at her age, especially since the youkai didn’t appear that much older than herself – but then she remembered Kouga and realized perhaps it wasn’t so far fetched a term for herself after all. She dug the money out of her pocket, knowing the clerk wasn’t going to be any use at all to her.
She was out the door only a split second later, cradling her beloved sweets and pondering the odd reaction she’d just gotten. Mentally she just shrugged it off; she’d known better than to expect any results or easy answers but she couldn’t just pass by such an obvious opening. Oh well, she mused. Just means I’ll have to keep trying. After all, Kagome was nothing if not persistent.
Swinging the bag in her hand she strolled back down the street to her house.
~ ~ ~
It had been three months! Three full months of researching and skulking around the youkai suburbs while asking discreet questions – and still nothing. She’d made little discovery other than people and youkai alike were antsy or downright hostile when on the subject of hanyou. Most though at least attempted an air of affected indifference or outright ignored her, pretending they’d never heard the subject brought up…though she still heard the whispers about herself behind her back. She wondered, sadly, if that’s how any of her theoretical hidden hanyou were treated on a daily basis – as though they didn’t really exist. Such thoughts only made her all the more determined to keep up her investigation.
There had been enough hints dropped and enough people responding strongly enough that she knew there had to be some hanyou around. She wanted to find them, to talk to them if she could. Most of all she wanted to do something to help them – but she couldn’t know what they most needed until she found out the specifics of their situations. Perhaps all she could do was be a friend, someone who knew of their existence outside their four sterile little walls.
She sighed and sagged briefly against a wall. Recently she’d taken to frequenting the smaller streets, the narrow winding paths between houses that she hadn’t noticed at first and then had been too hesitant to take after she had. Now she hoped that it might give her more of a clue or she might meet someone in passing who would finally answer her questions, or, who knew, the kami might smile on her and she might actually run into one in the backstreets.
She had to laugh at that. Obviously she was getting delusional to think she’d just bump into one of the infamously ‘non-existent’ hanyou in her wanderings. She turned to continue her trek up the alley only to be slammed harshly back into the wall.
What the heck?!
Her eyes squeezed shut at the force with which she hit and she wasn’t sure she wanted to open them when she heard the heavy breathing coming from somewhere above her. She’d learned, though, that ignoring a problem unfortunately didn’t make it go away, so with all the courage she could muster she forced herself to crack one eye open and came face to face with the largest, smelliest, and hairiest monster she’d ever seen. Her mouth widened to scream but she didn’t get the chance before his hand – an oddly hard one at that – clamped down and she was forced to breathe through her nose.
“You’re the one who’s been stirring everyone up by asking around about hanyou?”
Well there went all her ideas that she’d been discreet in her queries. The youkai’s voice was oddly pleasant for all his appearance and she took a closer look at him, trying to see past her racing heart and rampant fear. He looked to have long teeth of some sort. Fangs? No, tusks! Tusks, that was it. He must be a boar youkai of sorts. Not only that but he appeared fidgety, nervous. She assumed it was because he was assaulting a teenage girl in broad daylight and she fervently prayed with everything she could muster in her that he’d trip himself up.
“I asked you a question, human,” he hissed, shaking her slightly. “Now answer me!”
Since his hand was still firmly clenching her jaw shut she only managed to nod her head, which in and of itself was a feat with how strong his hold was on her.
“Good, then you’re coming with me.”
~ ~ ~
A/N:
And now, prepare for the Author’s Note from hell. Not bad, just really long ^_-
First off, sorries for getting this chapter out so late. I was sick for a good 3.5 weeks straight and I don’t function when ill. I’d actually started writing immediately, kicked into gear as I was by all the lovely reviews, but. Bam. Sick. Bah. Then I tried experimental style which I didn’t like and had trouble deciding the ending, but whatever. At least that means I’ve got a good portion of the next chapter written, right?
It feels like a ton of stuff happened in this chapter, it just seemed to go on forever! Haha. It was also a bit hard to write since our friendly neighborhood hanyou was lacking but he should be making an appearance sometime soon. As I mentioned, good solid chunks of next chapter are written but if it drags out too long it may get chopped in half. All depends. Joy of Joys.
Thanks again, of course, to my splendiforous beta Akihana, and of course all reviewers. It’s so great to know people read this because they actually like it and not just because they’re bored and there’s nothing else to read, haha. (I myself have read some mediocre fanfic just for that reason, haha. Yes, I’m terrible.) ^_-
In general:
I’m so glad to know most of you guys think I’m keeping the characters IN CHARACTER. Please, if you EVER feel I’m not staying true to them then point it out to me. I can’t guarantee I’ll change it b/c it might just be a difference in opinion but if it’s something that you make me look at again and I agree then I’ll do my best to fix because OOC is a huge pet peeve of mine.
Now, a few reviews that must be replied to:
Angelica_Pierce:
You made me laugh with your first line. Spot on.
Also, to tell the truth I agree with you about how it felt a bit short and the second month was rushed through. I tried but I just couldn’t figure out any way to lengthen it without making it trite or forced. Nothing big happened – Inuyasha just got a taste of normal life. Being away from hell will do that to a guy. I don’t think he’s even realized himself that much yet. But hopefully there will be some pulls from that time coming into later chapters. Thanks for the honest input.
Sassa:
You made me very happy. Again, I’m so glad you saw through to the heart of matters. You nailed what I was trying to convey and it makes me so glad to see that it comes through clearly. I tend to get things muddled in my head a lot ^_-
WTW:
“over the years” *sweatdrops* It really has been that long hasn’t it. My goodness. I guess that’s what happens what I post a one-shot then have to reformulate it into a multi-chaptered fic, but still…Thanks for keeping with it! ^_^
rowdygirl:
That review really just made me laugh out loud. (pretty much every time I read it too.) Thanks for the honesty, I love it ^_-
Qui:
You absolutely cracked me up. Yes, Inuyasha’s a bonehead, but it wasn’t as asshole-ish a move as much as an ignorant one. He believes he is simply unlovable and it’s impossible to love him – therefore Kagome must be delusional and think she’s in love just because she’s young enough and naïve enough to not know better. He blames himself for allowing her to believe this when it can’t be true. Not so much throwing it back in her face as it is a denial. But don’t worry – we’ll work on our hanyou’s perception of reality. ^_-
Mickiressa:
Thanks for the encouragement, love it. And I am working on a more intricate KakaSaku fic but it won’t be near the level of Shrine Prostitute because this story is still sucking the life out of me. Glad you like em both though (and honored that you liked SP enough to reread. That’s a true testament, ne? I say that because I’m a rereader myself) ^_^
Caela:
I love lurkers ^_-
~ ~ ~
Original posting: September 25, 2007