InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shrine Prostitute ❯ Devotion ( Chapter 15 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Shrine Prostitute by FlameTwirler

~ ~ ~

Chapter 15: Devotion
----- Ardent, often selfless affection and dedication, as to a person or principle
----- Earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.

~ ~ ~

Leaving Dr. Hirohito's lab, Kagome slowed her walk and willed her hands to stop trembling because they were shaking the papers she was studying so intently.

The experiences of the day had opened her eyes more than she could understand in her shell-shocked state, and she knew that she likely wouldn’t comprehend the full ramifications for some time. Maybe she’d been too caught up in the event itself, but it had taken Dr. Hirohito to shed some light on the main issue.

The position and equality of hanyou wasn’t just a social problem, it was also a legal one – possibly even primarily so. Thus if she really wanted to throw herself into this she’d have to tackle the cause on its own level.

The professor had then given her a letter of recommendation and papers authorizing a transfer to a local junior college for law school.

She was stunned. Through all of this she’d been so naïve, so blind to the fact that to make a difference she’d also have to make sacrifices. She had figured all along that she would take in Inuyasha, publically declare their relationship, and let him prove himself to the world. From their example people would see that hanyou weren’t mindless, weak, or anything to be ashamed of. Families would stop hiding such ‘indiscretions’ in their midst and hanyou could start living normal lives.

She scoffed. She was now beginning to realize just how simple-minded she’d been about the whole thing, not to mention selfish.

If that was the course of things then she’d get everything she wanted – her life, her hanyou, his love…her career. Sure, it might be uncomfortable at times, what with prejudice everywhere, but she was sure her friends would have no trouble accepting the guy she was determined to be with.

Thinking back to the month Inuyasha had spent at her home she realized what a fool she was. They’d had a lovely time and she didn’t understand how he could so vehemently deny it, but then they'd never really left her family’s land. There’d been no example they were setting at the time because she’d left him hidden safely away from prying eyes and cruel words. She wondered if that was more protecting him or imprisoning him? Regardless, if she truly hoped to make a model from their relationship as she had thought all along, then they’d have to be in the public eye much more often and that’s where it started to ask so much of him.

She’d have to give up almost nothing while Inuyasha would have to leave the relative ‘safety’ of the Bacana Shrine and be paraded around in public, a target to unsolicited insults from every corner. At least at the Shrine he knew what would be coming his way – despite how much they both hated it. And here she’d thought she was doing such a good thing…

Laughing sadly she realized her error, because now she saw the truth of it – at least more than she had before. Even if a few perspectives shifted because of their ‘shining example,’ with a system in place that perpetuated such bigotry it wouldn’t go far. There’d have to be a full out revolt for such a system to change, and from one couple living their normal, quiet, suburban lives…not likely.

She shook her hands out in frustration before going over the papers again. She wasn’t sure if the tremors were from the adrenaline drain and her wounds, or from the shock of having her reality crash in on itself.  Either way it was another blatant reminder of something she couldn’t ignore: a decision she had to make.

Could she give up her dream, her lifelong goal of becoming a doctor? Was it worth it, or would it be in the end?

She’d have to switch to a junior college because she hadn’t been in normal classes for a year – only medical specialties – and probably wouldn’t have the grades to qualify for an upper level school anyhow. She’d have to study a field which she’d never had interest in before, and not only understand it and how to work within it, but find loopholes and ways around it and ways to change it. Could she really switch her life around like that and give up so much, take on so much? Would she?

And maybe even more importantly…could she really claim she loved Inuyasha if she didn’t?
With a sigh she wished the answer would just be simple.

Resolving to think more on the matter later and talk it over with her mother first, she carefully folded the papers and put them into the bag Professor Hirohito had lent her. Her blood-soaked clothing was hidden inside, just in case any was salvageable. The thought made her gaze down wistfully at the borrowed scrubs she was wearing.

Life seemed to have gotten a whole lot more complicated since she’d met Inuyasha.

~ ~ ~

Mrs. Higurashi waited impatiently in her living room for Kagome to arrive. Dr. Hirohito had just called, informing her of the situation. He’d tried to assure her that Kagome would be just fine – at least physically – but a mother couldn’t help but worry.

For the first time in a long while she wished they owned a car so she could go pick her daughter up, but she’d never bothered to get her license. Vehicles cost so much and it was just so convenient to get everywhere by subway. Walking and biking had served them well for shorter distances – until today.

In a slight panic, she’d insisted that she would walk over to the school to pick Kagome up and accompany her home, but the professor informed her she had already left. The stubborn girl had refused to let him call while she was there, not wanting to worry her family overmuch. Since she didn’t know exactly which route her daughter would be taking on her way back and didn’t want to take the chance of missing her, Mrs. Higurashi had to content herself to wait.

After informing Souta and Grandpa Higurashi – she didn’t want them surprised by the sight of Kagome, after all – she’d sent them outside. Despite the fact that she knew Souta could sometimes lighten her daughter’s mood like no one else could, she guessed Kagome would be more distressed by his presence, whether it was for worry of frightening her little brother or not being able to speak her mind completely. In a way only a mother can know she understood Kagome would need to deal with some of the harsher things first, before she could start dealing with and processing everything.

In all honesty there were things that she herself probably needed to share at this point too.

Resigned to waiting, Mrs. Higurashi decided to spend her time as productively as she could, making tea and trying to put her words together.

~ ~ ~

Kagome trudged into the entrance hall and toed off her shoes before stepping inside. She wasn’t at all surprised to see her mother standing just inside the doorway. Without a word Mrs. Higurashi took the borrowed bag from her and embraced her in a long hug, sorrow filling her at the way her daughter sagged against her. Pulling back after a few moments, she reached for Kagome's arm and examined the job Dr. Hirohito had done. She was aghast at the size of the wound - she was wrapped from wrist to elbow - and wondered if they'd had to do stitches due to its size. Kagome's gaze was weighted, however, and she knew there were better issues to address at the moment. She'd find out soon enough anyhow, considering she'd have to help her daughter redo the dressings every day.  slowly examined her arms and the wrappings Dr. Hirohito had put them in.

Gently releasing her arm, she pulled her in for one more hug before taking the hand of her uninjured arm and leading her into the kitchen.

"Do you want to talk?" she asked, knowing that even if Kagome said 'no' she would prod her. Yes, the girl would need time alone to process, but she also needed companionship, a way to release her sadness, anger, frustration, and a whole host of other things that she, as her mother, wouldn't be able to help her through if she locked herself away in her room.

Kagome nodded in mute agreement.

Mrs. Higurashi nodded in return, relieved and tense all at the same time. “Do you want anything to eat, some tea perhaps?”

Though Kagome felt famished her stomach still rebelled at the thought of food. “Tea sounds good.”

She followed the older woman into the kitchen, an expectant silence filling the air between them. Is she waiting for me to say something first?

She tried several times to start off, watching her mother’s back as she flitted around the kitchen, gathering cups and kettle and taking them to the table, then returning to the kitchen for the honey she knew Kagome was fond of. Nothing came. How could she explain so much when words all sounded trite or inadequate?

Finally, it seemed, Mrs. Higurashi took pity on her as she poured the tea. “Your professor called me and told me generally what happened.” She gazed at her daughter seriously, eyes piercing. “Are you all right?”

Am I?

Sighing at the lack of response she took another tack. “Did you know the hanyou boy?”

Kagome looked at her mother with suddenly bright eyes, eyes that had seemed so dead and remote only a moment prior. “No…” She trailed off slightly before adding, “but he was Souta’s age.”

“Oh, honey…” Mrs. Higurashi began, turning from the counter to embrace her daughter but a quick head shake stopped her in her tracks. It seemed her daughter needed to get this off her chest before accepting comfort. Perhaps Kagome felt she would burst into tears or simply melt into her embrace, and never get her story out. She stepped back, and gave her the space she needed.  

“I didn’t know things were going to be like this,” Kagome started. “I had no idea – there was no way of knowing that simply caring about one guy would lead me here, to this. I didn’t know it would force me to see such horrible things and make such difficult choices.”

Mrs. Higurashi placed the tea on the table very deliberately and then sank into one of the chairs. After her daughter had met Inuyasha she had wondered if this particular point would ever come up. She had hoped to be able to keep her own secret well hidden but she supposed it was inevitable she’d have to divulge it considering the situation her daughter was in.

“Sit down, Kagome.”

The younger woman looked wary, restless.

“There’s something I should probably tell you. To this day I haven’t told a single soul about this, not even your father, but I think it might help you now.”

She finally relented and slumped into the chair.

“As you know, I went to the Bacana Shrine when I was younger. I was 23 at the time. Long story cut short, I spent the majority of my time in the company of a very handsome youkai.”

Kagome’s eyes snapped to her mother's face, suddenly alert.

“It’s amazing how much you can feel you get to know someone in such a relatively short amount of time. In the end, he asked me to marry him.”

Jaw dropping, Kagome had to force her voice to come out as she reiterated, “Marry? You...marry this youkai and not my father? What’s this youkai’s name anyhow?”

“Don’t interrupt dear, I haven’t gotten to the important part yet. And seeing as this is all part of the distant past I can’t see why his name would matter.

“Anyhow, he told me he felt he needed to clearly explain the situation to me first, so I’d really understand what I’d be getting myself into.

“He had already been married twice and had three grown children, though I never did find out just how old he was. He said I would basically be a wife just for fun, though he worded it in a much nicer way than that so I wouldn’t be offended. Actually, on the contrary, I wondered how dull his other marriages must have been.

“Regardless, he finally came to the most important point: children. He couldn’t bear the thought of having hanyou in his family, let alone siring them himself, so he declared he wouldn’t want any children with me.”

Kagome looked appalled but her mother pressed on despite it.

“That was the breaking point for us. I liked him – I might have even loved him, though it’s hard to tell in hindsight now. I knew I wanted children though and ultimately having kids of my own was more important to me than were my feelings for him. So in the end I declined his proposal.

“The next year I met your father, then had you and Souta, and you were – are – the light of my life. I have never looked back and I have never regretted my decision. Otherwise I couldn’t be here with you right now.”

Both women smiled softly at that.

“I knew, deep down inside I knew what I wanted with everything that I was and I went after it. The question is, precious child of mine, what is your greatest desire and what is most important to you?”

Her mother never ceased to amaze her. She knew Professor Hirohito hadn’t mentioned the possible career-change - as he’d promised to keep it to himself - and with all the secrets they shared at this point she knew him to be trustworthy. So either her mom had some keen intuition and was just hinting on a vague level without knowing any specifics, or she’d followed her path to the logical conclusion and seen where it came to a head.

Kagome still felt like a fool for not seeing it earlier herself. “How did you know which was the right choice?” she asked, wondering how anyone could be so sure of anything.

Mrs. Higurashi gave a rueful smile. “I just imagined myself in either circumstance and tried to figure out where I sensed more joy and satisfaction. Not happiness, mind you; that’s fleeting and deceives easily. I’m talking about the stuff that sits at the root of your heart and prevails even through life's heartaches.

“You, and your brother especially – though don’t tell him I said so or I’ll find some really onerous chore for you to do – have given me more trials than I’d ever thought one woman could handle. Oh, there were days I just wanted to pull my hair out or ship you off to camp for a while, but still I wouldn’t give you up for anything. It’s like the feeling of working hard on something all day, laboring hard until even your bones ache, and then standing back to see what you’ve accomplished and taking pride in the finished product.”

“And father?” Kagome asked almost timidly, refusing to meet her mother’s eyes as if afraid she wouldn’t like the answer.

“Yes, and what about your father? Well, I must admit that I have wondered from time to time if it would have been easier if I’d never married him. Now don’t cringe like that. I’m pretty sure it would have been easier but since when have I ever taught you that easier is better? Hmm? Haven’t you been listening to everything I just told you about how my children have made my life anything but?”

She softened the statement with a smile. “I didn’t know I was capable of such love, honestly. I don’t think I’d even realized how far I’d fallen until years into our marriage. But with the tallest highs comes the deepest lows as well. It’s all part-in-parcel unfortunately. I thought my world had come to an end when he died, and if it hadn’t been for the two of you kids, and even jii-chan, I know I would have broken. After that I feel like maybe he loved me too well, that either I’m spoiled for anything less satisfactory or that I just can’t stand the thought of giving away ‘his spot’ in my heart to anyone else. Either way, easy isn’t a word I’d ever choose to describe it, but I’m not sure I’d have it any other way.

“Now back to my analogy or story or whatever you’d like to call it. With a youkai marriage my life would have been much different. I know I would have been well treated and had a more carefree, frivolous life had I accepted the proposal; I would have had benefits I couldn’t have achieved any other way. But to me, as the scene stretched on in my mind, such things started to feel momentary and trite and…well…empty. I’m not saying it wouldn’t be wholly satisfying to some people, and I’m not trying to say it’s a shallower life, but my heart was just somewhere else.”

Kagome blew her hair out of her face irritably. “But how do I know for sure?”

“You’ll know.”

~ ~ ~

Ryu just didn’t know what to do with Inuyasha anymore. The hanyou was flying into rampages over the smallest things and was terrorizing both clientele and other workers alike. Even Kazuma only harassed him about half as much, since he’d been forced to scurry away multiple times from the threat of physical violence – and none of them doubted Inuyasha would follow through on his word right now.

Now Ryu couldn’t bring himself to mind too much about Kazuma, after all the guy’d had it coming, but it was getting to the point that Inuyasha was disturbing the entire mood of the Shrine. Several rooms had been damaged to the point that they had to be closed for repairs and weren’t able to be used for business.

It wasn’t just that he found the tantrums annoying though. If this kept up he wondered how long the ubiquitous higher-ups – the same ones that had so graciously allowed him to keep Inuyasha at the Shrine in the first place – would  continue to offer their place of business as a ‘safe-house’ of sorts for him.

He shook his head. Despite his promise to Kagome, he’d tell Inuyasha about her upcoming visit if he thought it would cool the hot-head down, but the thing was that he couldn’t gauge what kind of reaction he’d have to the news.

So instead he just kept his head down and prayed to any kami that would listen for Inuyasha’s temper to blow over soon.

~ ~ ~

Kagome had been to Dr. Hirohito’s lab only once since the incident; she’d been so distracted that first time afterward – thinking about what had happened the last time she had been in the room – that he’d sent her away. She hadn’t gone back since, knowing it would just be a repeat of the same events.

Yet she couldn’t stay away from the school, especially considering that if she decided to go through with the transfer into law it wouldn’t be her school anymore and she would likely be too busy to just pass by on a whim. So she spent quite a bit of time in the medical library, or packed a lunch and read under one of the trees in the courtyard – though she continued to hide any legal literature behind her large anatomy textbook.

It wasn’t really surprising, then, that she eventually ran into Houjo, even if it was summer break. She had avoided him the last couple weeks since he'd found her wandering the streets, covered in blood. She just hadn’t known what to say to him and how she could explain what had happened, or even tell him how much she was getting involved in the subject of hanyou. She wasn’t really comfortable revealing everything about Inuyasha and how he’d turned her onto the plight of hanyou and how unjust everything was.

Houjo was incredibly intelligent and a rather nice guy, but he wasn’t really street smart and came across as relatively naïve sometimes. It seemed to her that such combinations often bred people who were rather stubborn and set in their opinions. She wasn’t sure what his was on the subject of hanyou but she knew that she wasn’t ready to face open opposition yet if it came to that. But how could she explain the situation and why she wasn’t upset at the hanyou boy that had cut up her arm if she wasn’t ready to tell him about her ‘pro-hanyou’ views?

He walked up to her where she sat in the shade and gave her a glowing smile that seemed to take up half his face. “I see you’re healing well, Higurashi-san.”

Kagome glanced down at her arm. It was true; other than small pink and white lines that criss-crossed over her forearm there were no indications that she’d been severely cut up. Dr. Hirohito had actually come to her house personally to check on her two days afterward, explaining that she’d taken some muscle damage that he needed to check and perhaps even suture. He hadn’t wanted to tell her at the time of her injury because she’d obviously been in shock and he had hoped her body would heal it naturally on its own, the stitches in her skin being enough to set everything on the right path. Luckily he was right.

She remembered when she’d almost hoped her arm would scar to serve as a reminder but now she was very glad to see the small lines fade a bit more each day. She couldn’t imagine what Inuyasha’s reaction would be if he found out about the hanyou boy dying in her arms, which he’d most certainly be able to wring from her if he cornered her about any possible scarring she had. Not only that but it’d be terrible if anyone later tried to discredit hanyou by pointing to marks on her arms, claiming how dangerous they were even to ‘allies.’

Shaking her head lightly Kagome looked up at Houjo, smiling back at him. “Care to join me?” she asked, patting the ground beside her. The two sat in silence, an awkward one for Kagome, as Houjo obviously expected her to start conversation since she’d been the one to invite him to sit, but she still had no idea what she could say.

“Houjo,” she started tentatively, “about what happened…” She trailed off but he picked up where she was going when she absentmindedly rubbed the skin on her forearm.

“Ah, no worries,” he told her cheerily. “Professor Hirohito already told me about it.”

She stared at him in shock and it took her a moment to catch her bearings. “He – he did?” she choked about. “What did he tell you?”

“He told me everything,” he stated matter-of-factly, as though it should be obvious.

Kagome goggled. Everything? What right did he have to tell Houjo about her personal matters, even if it had been shoved into the boy’s face when she’d all but fallen into his lap covered in blood. Her thoughts raced. Dr. Hirohito was an eccentric, yes, but he was a decent man and the two had agreed to keep their hanyou studies secret as much as possible. So had the professor just trusted him that inordinately, even to tell him about Inuyasha, or was what Houjo thought was ‘everything’ not truly everything?

Apparently she was thinking too long because Houjo plunged ahead. “He even told me you were most likely going to transfer into law. I must admit, that surprised me. I thought you’d always been set on a medical career.”

She couldn’t reply; she just sat staring at him, her mouth agape. Apparently the Professor really had told him absolutely everything.

“It was a good thing he told me about it though,” he said brightly. “Dr. Hirohito thought it might be too much of a burden to completely give up medicine so he asked if I could continue to tutor you and keep you up to date as much as possible on what we’re learning in class.”

Kagome’s mind was spinning. It sounded like her jerk of a teacher had planned this all and was trying to back her into a corner, taking away every excuse she could have for not switching to law school. What was he trying to get at? Why was he being so adamant – for him anyway – about all this?

She had to admit that his idea had merit, but still…what good did it do her to be able to nominally study medicine if that was what she truly still wanted as her career? Wouldn’t that almost be rubbing it in her own face? There was still too much to consider and this only threw another wrench in the works – both Houjo’s offer and Dr. Hirohito’s obvious opinion of what she should do.

Nothing was going to resolve itself in that exact moment so she tried to be as gracious as she could, cognizant of the amount of time Houjo would be sacrificing to help her when he had his own workload to contend with. Smiling weakly, she said the only thing she could, “Thanks Houjo,” and hoped things would become clearer soon.

~ ~ ~

Inuyasha just felt annoyed with the world. No, not annoyed, pissed, furious, no – more than that…he couldn’t think of a world for how aggravated he felt. Granted, that wasn’t an unusual occurrence for him, what with how the world seemed to love to use him for its own special whipping boy, but lately it was just rising to levels where all he could do to deal with it was to lash out.

First it had been the clients. There had been a couple really nasty ones back to back and no matter how long he was in the business there was no getting used to that. It put him in a foul mood for days.

Then there was the day he’d come back from dinner to find Kazuma snooping around his room. His story was that the higher-ups were demanding inspections to make sure all the living quarters were sanitary and up to safety code so they couldn’t get cited, and that meant Inuyasha’s room had to get checked too. Of course the bastards hadn’t cared enough to actually fix any of the inconvenient things over the years or send someone who really knew anything about safety standards, but he wasn’t surprised.

It had been bad enough to find the piece of shit in his room but what had really set him off was the fact that he’d been about to open the closet – the one where he had all of Kagome’s letters stashed. After seeing that he had barely heard Kazuma’s words, he only felt an uncontrollable rage boiling up inside him that the one barely private matter in his life had almost been desecrated. The thought of what would have happened had the letters been found by someone like Kazuma pushed him teetering over the edge.

The resulting havoc he’d wreaked on the room had taken him two days to clean up and had gotten him a stern lecture from Ryu, but the wariness he now saw in Kazuma’s eyes was worth it. Even though he still tried to act like an ass the pretence didn’t carry well, especially when Inuyasha would fake a lunge at him and the man would flinch. That always brought a rare smile to his face.

That night he’d luckily had off so he didn’t have to move rooms to satisfy some harpy’s demands, so he had sat among the wreckage of pottery and wood and stared at the untouched closet – the only piece to escape unscathed – and went back and forth, debating whether to destroy every single piece of paper in there or read them all again, over and over. In the end he wound up with letters in hand, poring over them as he tore little bits off the edges.

As the days progressed he continued to get worse as he realized just how long it had been since he’d heard from Kagome. She hadn’t tried to call in a couple months but she still sent letters rather regularly. Well, until recently. Even if he couldn’t recall exactly when he’d received the last one, she’d dated each of them and, since he had each bit of information she’d written memorized, knew precisely when each had been sent.

He’d expected her attention to eventually wane, indeed he’d counted on it, but it still bothered him. He wasn’t sure why and didn’t want to know the reason it continued to nag at him even as he became more frustrated day by day.

But out of everything, worst of all was the fact that that day was approaching - the one-year marker from the night he’d met her. It gnawed at him that he hadn’t once needed to look at a calendar to know the approaching day, and that he could still clearly remember everything about that first night – indeed every night with her, every day even.

She wouldn’t leave his mind and it angered him to no end that he didn’t want her to.

At least that day would soon come and go, and when she didn’t arrive and the marking point passed he could consider it officially over and maybe, just maybe, he’d finally be able to forget her and move on.

~ ~ ~

Kagome sat at the desk in her bedroom, pen poised over the paper – exactly as it had been for the last ten minutes. Finally she wrote a line only to scribble it out then add it to the wadded up notes already filling her waste basket. She’d tried so many times over the last month to write another letter to Inuyasha but couldn’t come up with anything.

What could she say? She didn’t want him to know anything about what she was doing about researching hanyou, or how she’d met Josef and Yami, or how she’d seen that poor hanyou boy die – not if she could help it at least. There were too many complications she foresaw about Inuyasha’s reaction to such information, as she’d already discussed with Ryu. He could never feel obligated to her or he’d still feel imprisoned and come to resent her and her meddling. She knew she was a horrible liar, especially when Inuyasha was determined to find something out from her, so she had to steer as clear as she could from any topic related to her activities so that he had nothing to latch onto.

So that threw out most of what she’d done for the last year. She couldn’t even tell him about the heartache she had trying to decide about possibly changing her profession or he’d sniff out the reason why, and it ate at her keeping so much from him. She wanted to be complete open with him, to share all of herself, but there was just so much that had to happen first.

She wasn’t sure why, but she couldn’t bring herself to write to him about her impending visit. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he hadn’t replied to a single one of her contacts and that she wasn’t even one-hundred percent sure he was receiving her letters, let alone reading them. She’d have asked Ryu to at least make sure the hanyou got them but he’d already done so much for them already, aside from the fact that after her first phone call he’d told her he didn’t want to get involved in their inter-personal drama. She could understand that.

More than that, she wondered if she was just feeling vindictive and didn’t want to tell him as some sort of retribution for his avoiding her for so long. She tried to pretend she was fine but it really did hurt that he didn’t acknowledge her at all. She knew it was unfair of her, that there could be so many circumstances preventing him from doing so, but she knew how stubborn he was and every time she remembered the way he’d walked out on her she felt sure he was doing it just to spite her.

So she kept that from him as her own sort of petty revenge. Oh, she’d still arrive all right, and the reunion would be sweet – after she’d taken him to task for ignoring her, of course – but in the meantime she was still stuck. What, oh what could she write? There were only so many times she could write the same platitudes: “How are you? I’m fine. The family’s fine and they miss you. Weather’s nice, clouds are pretty, grass is green…” and so forth.

In the end she sighed and gave up. She’d be seeing him soon enough anyhow, so in the meantime she may as well try to do something productive rather than sit at her desk trying to write a letter that would probably just be meaningless anyhow.

~ ~ ~

Yami sat watching Josef playing with Kagome, contemplating how different the girl had seemed the past few weeks. When he hadn’t seen her for a full eight days after Josef’s party he’d gotten a bit worried, thinking that maybe something they’d done had offended her as she typically visited them every couple days to help keep his nephew’s spirits up. He hadn’t sought her out because, while he’d asked vaguely about her family, they’d really spent most of their time talking about Josef and other hanyou and he felt a bit guilty to say he really wasn’t sure of her situation. Not knowing what her family’s reaction would be if a giant boar youkai came calling, he decided it would be best to stay away and wait for her.

When she finally did arrive, bandaged up and obviously drawn in, he’d made sure his nephew was safely occupied with a movie before starting his barrage of questions. At first she’d been very reluctant to say a thing but then it was like a switch flipped inside her and the whole story came flooding out. To say he was shocked would be an understatement, but as he watched her cry all he could do was marvel that the same girl he’d all but kidnapped months before could care so much about what had happened.

He’d kicked himself for allowing her to leave his house alone, guiltily feeling that he should somehow share the responsibility, but he hadn’t let it show knowing it wouldn’t help her. Instead he’d just placed his hand on her shoulder, offering silent support, and he knew that’s what she’d really needed. With the look she bestowed on him he figured he was the only one she’d shared the entire story with, or at least in such an emotionally open state. Glancing back through the crack in Josef’s door where he was safely ensconced in a fort of blankets, he felt that maybe he could understand why.

Since then she’d taken to asking him all manner of odd questions, seemingly out of left-field, and when she didn’t explain he couldn’t bring himself to pry. He knew she must have her reasons.

Lately she’d been on a kick of asking his opinions about what would really be needed to change the living system hanyou were mistreated under. At first he’d snorted in derision, as if such a thing were actually feasible, but her smoldering glare had stopped his chortle and almost made him drag his toe on the ground in shy embarrassment.

After all, why couldn’t such a thing be possible? If someone didn’t start thinking that way then nothing would ever get started, and then it really would be impossible. So he tried to take her a bit more seriously, even if it was rather difficult, given all he’d seen and experienced.

The problem was he had no idea what, if anything, would work. The first answer he gave her was that all hanyou needed to band together and form a separate city-state where they could be autonomous and self-governed. The next day he’d said such a thing would only encourage segregation and was a horrendous idea. His following idea had been slow assimilation into the culture through mass media – print, television, news, etc. – to get both races more familiar with and comfortable with the idea of hanyou running around. Then he’d followed with the concern that announcing the existence of hanyou without giving them rights first would be tantamount to declaring a hanyou-lynching holiday.

He really couldn’t fathom a scenario where things would work out for their benefit and anytime he asked Kagome her ideas she just said, “Hmm…”, and didn’t answer him. Yami was beginning to wonder if there was a point to all the questioning or if it was specifically designed to drive him crazy.

Kagome looked up at him, putting her finger to her lips and nodding down to Josef who was sound asleep on some pillows in the corner where they’d been playing. He motioned her over to join him at the table and poured her a cup of tea as she sat.

“So…are you ever going to tell me why you’re asking all these questions lately?” He kept his voice low while speaking despite the fact that Josef was a heavy sleeper. That was something that had changed drastically since Yami had come to adopt the boy and it warmed his heart to know how secure his nephew felt in his presence.

Kagome sipped slowly at her tea before answering. “Maybe.”

He sighed and shook his head. “Sometimes I think you get some perverse pleasure out of keeping me in the dark.”

She smiled at him and he was glad to see the action coming more frequently to her but he could tell it still had an anxious edge to it. “Yami, do you think there are many more hanyou out there like Josef, hidden by family, or that they’re few and far between?”

He paused a moment to consider. “I’m not sure. It’s hard to tell since it’s such a taboo thing to mention. I’m sure some youkai know my nephew’s here, especially neighbors, but I bet there are more that have no idea whatsoever. Why, what do you think?”

She hadn’t told Yami about the conversation she’d had with her mom about the proposal she’d received from that youkai at the Shrine; she’d felt it too personal and that it wasn’t her story to share in the first place. Something about it, though, had sparked a thought in her. For the youkai to make such a bold ultimatum indicated a great aversion and she wondered if it was because he had hanyou in his life that he wished weren’t there. It made more sense than any alternative in her mind, yet he’d still sought out a human as a possible mate. Maybe the barriers between youkai and ningen were breaking down and more interracial couples were forming? No matter how her mind wrapped around it everything seemed to point to the prevalence of hanyou intermingled in society.

“I’m thinking they might be more common than we’d imagined.” She said it with such certainty that Yami raised an eyebrow – the area of the face even more hairy than the rest – at her. While she wouldn’t give him her mom’s story there was something she had that could still definitely enlighten him.

“When I was at the Bacana Shrine I really had no idea how anything worked. I didn’t know there was a two-week limit to using any particular prostitute, so when time came I couldn’t see Inuyasha anymore I got a couple bad guys then wound up directed to this youkai that had apparently been asking about me since I’d set foot on the property.”

Yami’s eyes widened infinitesimally. It was the first he’d heard of that.

“Kouga was a real nice guy but I figured out I liked him like a friend and nothing more, so that made things a bit awkward.” She laughed as he scrunched up his nose. “Long story short he all but proposed to me, though I declined, but it gave me some interesting insight. He’d told me all about his first wife and how it was common for widows or widowers to seek second, third, or even fourth mates among humans since they are – and I quote – ‘more fun’.” She threw up her hands in exasperation. Even now she didn’t understand the concept. How could a youkai be ‘un-fun’? If a prospective mate was so boring in the first place why bother to go through with the marriage? Or if it was merely that they lived together for so many centuries, maybe she could start to understand that, but then what’s so fun about mating with yet someone else who’d die before them? It still just didn’t make sense.

“So, the point is, if this has become such a fad that he can say it’s common to do, then there must be some children that result from these reunions, no matter what precautions are taken. I’ve studied medicine…” If Yami wasn’t youkai he probably wouldn’t have caught her wince in the dim light, and he wondered at it. “…At least some. There are plenty of stories of babies being born from that 1% that birth control doesn’t cover, or even after the father had a vasectomy. The only real fail-safe is a complete hysterectomy, but it’s such an invasive and intense procedure I can’t see many women agreeing to that easily.” Like her mom for instance, even if her reasons had been different.

Slowly, Yami nodded. “That does make some sense, or at least gives scenarios for the likelihood of hanyou conception. I still doubt that many hanyou are around though.”

Confused, eyebrows scrunched, she asked, “Why not? Weren’t you the one saying how secret Josef is from some people, especially those who couldn’t care less or who just plain aren’t looking?”

“I wish this wasn’t the reality of it, but if someone is that against having a hanyou child then the mere existence of the pregnancy isn’t going to stop them. Most won’t consider abortion because of the fact that most doctors require blood work and health checks and want status on both mother and fetal progress to make sure nothing would go wrong, especially nothing that could form the basis of a malpractice suit. That’s not a very likely way to go though since anyone who doesn’t want such a child is usually more than aware of the social implications and doesn’t want a soul to know about it, not even a doctor.”

“Then what…?” she trailed off.

“Think about what happened to unwanted female children in any culture before post-modern society, or even today in any over-populated country.”

She stared at him blankly, afraid of what he was going to say.

“In those that still have such problems today, it's not uncommon to pull up hundreds of newborn or infant bodies when they dredge a lake.”

Kagome covered her mouth with her hand, both in shock at his revelation – one that she should have seen – and because she was afraid she might be sick from the revulsion she felt at the mere idea that he could be right.

For his part, Yami wasn’t exactly delighted at the thoughts he’d just revealed to a girl so young, one who less than a year earlier had been as normal and naïve and innocent as the average human girl walking the streets. All the questions she’d been directing at him, though, seemed to be aiming this way and if she kept digging it was inevitable to come up with such conclusions. Whether the severity of his theory was true or not wasn’t the point; just the fact that such conditions were already in their society that would allow for such actions were what was truly disturbing.

He hated to be the one to shatter her just a little bit further but from the glint in her eye he almost wondered if that was just what she’d wanted, or even needed to hear. The truth, exposed and un-made up, as unglamorous as it was, was an incredibly powerful thing.

Still, her face was whiter than he’d like so he decided it was time for a change in topic, preferably one that lightened the mood. As long as he was pulling out something completely new he figured he’d go for a certain subject in particular to see what kind of reaction he could get out of her.

“So…are you nervous about going to see that boy of yours?” To his amusement her face turned bright red and he couldn’t help but laugh. “Well that answers that. When do you leave?”

She smiled sheepishly back at him. “Two weeks after my birthday. It'll be exactly one year since we met.”

The gleam in his eye dimmed just a bit. “Is he really worth all this?” he asked, not meaning to sound derogatory or snide; he was just concerned for the girl and what she was getting herself into, let alone pulling Inuyasha into as well.

Kagome took another long swallow of her nearly cold tea. “Let me ask you this, Yami. Now that you know about Josef, once you’d met him, would you ever be able to turn your back on him or hold back absolutely everything you had in you to give, just because it wasn’t convenient?”

He smiled ruefully, tusks poking out, as he shook his head. That was the answer he’d wanted to hear.

“It’s not what I’d have originally picked for myself, partly just because I didn’t know such scenarios existed, but also because it is hard. I can’t say I haven’t dreamed of an easy, ignorant life with a normal relationship, but it’s too late for that because now I know, now that I’ve met Inuyasha. Besides, it’s a bit odd to say, but as hard as it is it almost makes me appreciate the benefits that much more. The good things are that much more special.”

She was getting this dreamy look in her eyes that he couldn’t help but mess with. “Ah yes, benefits can be a wonderful thing indeed. But with as long as you’ve been without them it’s no wonder you’ve been so frustrated lately.”

“Yami!” she squealed, scandalized, then picked up the cushion she’d been sitting on and lobbed it at his head. He’d been laughing too hard to dodge so she had the satisfaction of seeing it hit him square in the nose, which of course only made him laugh harder. He was male after all. “You know that’s not what I was referring to!”

He crossed his arms and looked at her pointedly.

“…Well, that’s not all I was referring to,” she admitting with a large grin, giving into the urge to laugh along with him.

“Kagome? Yami?” a sleepy voice called from the other side of the room.

They both spun to see Josef standing tangled amidst his bedding, rubbing his eyes, and giving them every child’s patented ‘adults are crazy’ look.

Kagome stood and grabbed her bag. “I think that’s my cue to leave.”  Avoiding Yami’s eyes to keep from seeing that ‘knowing’ look again, she rushed over and kissed Josef on top of the head before slipping out the door with a backward wave.

Yami just shook his head at her receding back, still amazed at her capacity to switch from one emotional extreme to the other. He supposed that was what made her able to adapt to the kinds of situations she kept finding herself in though.

Checking the door after she left he bundled his nephew up in his arms, blankets and all, and carried him to bed, thankful for her reminder once again that, though his life was much more difficult now, it was also inordinately more rewarding.

~ ~ ~

Time flew by for Kagome. Her birthday came and went and her appointment with Inuyasha was steadily approaching, far too quickly and too slowly at the same time. He still hadn’t responded to any of the attempts she’d made to contact him and she couldn’t help but worry what his silence meant.

However she was determined to go through with her plans, so that meant she couldn’t allow herself to get distracted by her own worries. Instead she kept herself as busy as humanly possible, in Dr. Hirohito’s lab after summer cram sessions to read and do some experiments or talking with Yami to learn more about youkai culture. They discussed what he knew about the differences between his own physiology and what he could handle compared to Josef’s capacity, and how much he supposed was due to his age and background and how much due to his being hanyou.

And last, but not least, she learned all she could about the school the professor had recommended her to, studying the basics of law to see if it was something she could even begin to grasp her mind around and be interested in enough to pursue as a career.

All in all, she had her plate full and plenty to keep her busy until it was finally time to pack and leave on the train bound for the Bacana Shrine.

~ ~ ~

A/N: I was worried this was going to be a pathetically short chapter but after my beta helped to beef it up (read: beat me into submission…j/k) it should be about normal, ne? Arigatou Akihana.
Thanks to everyone for the support and for the four nominations in the IYFanguild: Best AU, Best Drama, Best Lemon, and Best Romance - Inuyasha/Kagome. Certainly helps boost an authors ego insert cheesy grin here