InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Silver Fox ❯ Recoil ( Chapter 23 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Recoil

Kagome let Sai hold her, finding comfort in his arms. "Sorry for what Sai?" He squeezed her tighter. "For almost giving you to Naraku." She recoiled out of his grasp and to the other side of the room. "Naraku?" Sai looked down in shame. "Yes, he found me hunting and offered me a chance for power. All I had to do for him was get you." He looked up, sadness shining in his bright green eyes. Kagome turned away because even though he had almost betrayed her, she still wanted to touch him. She wanted to take the sadness off his face, and tell him it was alright. She hated herself for wanting to.

Kagome almost reached a hand out toward him but stopped midway. "I can not ask your forgiveness, my lady." He had averted his eyes. She walked out into the hall and sat just outside her door. It was hard for her to look at him like that. After all that, her friends were right. He was working for Naraku, and she had thought InuYasha was just jealous. That thought lead to her next plan of action. Apologizing. To all of them. She stood with a new resolve. Everything would just go back to the way it was. Simple enough. Kagome stalked out to the well house and gave one last glance up to her room.

Sai was peering out the window at her. He didn't expect forgiveness, but could she really not forgive him. Kagome shook her head and walked to the well, gave one last pause, and jumped in. She jumped out of the well to be greeted by the worried faces of Miroku and Sango. They stopped some distance away, Sango reached hesitantly for her weapon. "I'm sorry you guys." Kagome looked down at her feet. "Kagome-sama, you are back to normal then?" Miroku asked. She nodded. The walk to the village was enveloped in an akward silence. InuYasha was waiting on top of the hut, foot twitching with impatients. He sniffed lightly before rocketing up. "Kagome?"

Kagome smiled at him. He climbed down. "InuYasha, let's go talk 'kay?" She spoke softly. InuYasha nodded and lead the way. They ended up on the hill that overlooked the village. "I'm sorry InuYasha." He looked over at her. "You were right about Sai. He was working for Naraku." Her head was turned away and she missed the completely shocked expression on his face and the small grin after. 'Look at that, didn't even have to lie' His grin broadened into a full blown smile. "What are you smiling about?" "Uh...just glad that you found out and weren't hurt." She sighed. Physical wounds aren't the only kind of wound, and scars on the heart take a lot longer to heal too. She'd never understand how he, of all people, did not realize that.

"I'm going to spend a little more time with my family before we go shard hunting again okay?" He was about to make some rude coment but stopped short. He remembered what it felt like to be betrayed, even though in essence it was Naraku, it still hurt. InuYasha nodded. "Sure. Just...don't take to long." She gave him a small smile. He was trying after all. InuYasha walked her back to the well. "Do you want me to come with you?" She shook her head. "I think I need some alone time." He walked away. "Thank you, InuYasha." His head bobbed in acknowledgement, and she went back though the well.

Sai was right where she left him, looking dejected on her bed. "As soon as your well enough you're going back to the fuedal era." She made her voice cold and harsh to hide the sadness that wanted to burst out. Kagome walked out before he could give a response. A very hot or very cold shower sounded very pleasing right about. She climbed into the tub and left the almost scalding hot water cascade down her back as she sat in the cool confines of the tub. She sat under the hot water and realized how numb she was. There was no feeling. No more anger. No more sadness. Nothing. Kagome took the numbness and wrapped it around her like a security blanket.

Only until after she was wrapped in a towel did Kagome realize that she didn't grab any clothes. She muttered a swift curse before heading back to her room. Sai was sitting on the floor staring out the window. Kagome quickly went to her closet. "I'm more sorry than I know how to be Kagome. I'm sorry that I used you for my gain. Sorry that I interfeared in you life. Sorry that I betrayed you. If I could take it all back, I would." The red fox didn't turn around to meet her stare, but he didn't have to for Kagome to know he felt defeated. It was all to apparent in the way his head and shoulders sagged.

"I want to tell you it's okay, but it's not. I...I don't know what will happen from this point on. I've never had such strong feelings for someone in such a short time, and that bothers me. I just know that you can't be trusted anymore." She turned away and went back to the bathroom to get dressed.

It had only taken two days for Sai to completely heal. Neither had said a word over the span, and Kagome had only been confronted once, by her brother, about what was wrong. The younger sibling didn't recieve an answer just a quick look of being lost and a "nothing". He didn't believe her but didn't press the matter. At present Sai stood at the edge of the well waiting for Kagome to come. She was off getting yet another backpack. Kagome walked through the door a new green backpack slung over her shoulders. It was a point between the two that no eye contact was to be made. "You first." Sai jumped in, but the familiar light did not engulf him.

He stared up from the bottom of the well to look up at her, equally surpised at the well's new refusal to let him through. Sai jumped back up to land softly on his feet next to Kagome. "We have to do it together." She said grabbing his sleeve and pulled him to the lip of the well again. Both jumped in and were transported to the fuedal era. Kagome heaved a sigh of relief that it had worked. She so didn't want be be stuck in her time with Sai. InuYasha was waiting in the well's clearing, arms crossed. "You're still alive fox?" InuYasha asked, surpise written clearly on his face. "I'll fix that." He drew his sword.

"InuYasha, enough okay. Let's just go back to the village." "He ain't coming with us!" He pointed a finger at Sai. "You're right, he's not." Kagome brushed past him, expecting him to follow. InuYasha gave Sai one last look before following Kagome. 'I can kill that damn fox next time. At least Kagome's back.'

Sango and Miroku were pleased that their friend was going to be with them again in their travells. Thing had been noticably dull since her and Shippou's departure. The said little red ball of fluff bounded into Kagome. "Hey Kagome!" He smiled up at her. She gave him a smile that didn't quiet reach her eyes. "Hi Shippou." "Kagome, where's Sai." Kagome patted his head. "He's gone Shippou." He cocked his head to the side. "Why?" She sighed. "He was very different then we thought Shippou." Kagome gave another glance to the forest followed by a sad shake of her head. 'Love just never seems to work out for me, does it.'

InuYasha had declared that they would set out tomorrow over dinner. When night fell and everyone lay sleeping Kagome got up and left the hut. It had taken two hours to realize that she wouldn't get any sleep. She was just wasn't warm enough to get comfortable, and the warmth went by the name of Sai. She sat just on the bank of the river, looking into its flowing waters. She was startled a little when Miroku sat next to her. "Kagome-sama, are you okay?" He asked, folding his arms around his staff.

"I just couldn't sleep. It's nothing to worry about." She waved it off with a small smile. "Kagome-sama, it's not that you couldn't sleep that bothers me. It is the cause of you not being able to sleep, do you wish to talk about it?" Kagome looked at him and nodded. "Its just, even knowing what he did, I still wanted to be with him. I wanted to tell him it didn't matter, but it does. And right now I feel lost without him here." She rubbed her arms.

Miroku gave her a side glance. "Kagome, when two people care deeply for eachother that is what happens. People who can just forget about the other person that they had a relationship with didn't truely care about that person. Only when the two would put eachother's happiness before their own do you get a true love. That is what you had Kagome, and even though you know what he did was wrong you can forgive him because that what it means to be in love. Don't misinterpret what I say though, some things can never be forgiven, but I'm not saying you shouldn't try. Kagome-sama, you are one of the most self sacrificing people I have met and I want you to be happy, no matter what. If it is with him, or anyone else, that you find that happiness I say that you should hold on to that happiness."

Kagome nodded in understanding. "But how do I forgive something like that Miroku?" He turned to the younger girl. "Kagome, I think that is up for you to decide, but ask yourself this: could you really continue on feeling the way you do now?" Miroku stood and brushed off his robes. "Good night, Kagome-sama." "Good night, Miroku."

Kagome was walking behind the group, Shippou riding on her shoulder. InuYasha was in front, followed by Miroku. Sango was a few feet in front of her and kept giving her worried glances. Kagome had yet to talk to anyone but Shippou the whole day. When they took their afternoon break Kagome just wandered off into the woods without so much as a goodbye. "Give me the jewel shards!" The group looked to a mangy looking bull youkai. The bull stomped onto the hardly worn path. InuYasha drew Tetsusaiga and everyone fell into battle stances, except for Kagome. She continued forward as if the bull never appeared. "Worthless fox, give me the shards."

Kagome glanced at the bull. "Worthless?" She asked. Cold eminated from her like a cold winted wind. Her anger was like a cold rage as she looked upon the bull. After everything that last few days she finally had a target to use the pent up rage on. A find casing of ice ran over the ground. She smiled at the bull. "Let us see who is worthless." She charged in, missing the bulls horns by mear centimeters. Her other companions looked on. Shippou had abandoned his post on Kagome's shoulder and was now perched on Miroku's.

The ice ran up the bulls legs and hled him captive to the ground. The bull thrashed and got two legs free. It cought Kagome with it hoof and knocked her into the air. She crashed to the ground. Sango ran over to her. "Kagome are you okay?" Kagome nodded. "Oi, wench, you don't know how to fight, just leave it to us." Kagome jumped back up. "He's mine!" She roared, her eyes slowly flowing to crimson just around the edges. Like a missle she hit the bull's side. It's legs gave was to the force and it was knocked over. As it stuggled to stand Kagome came at it once more. Long claws drug across the aminals throat and it fell once more.

This time the bull fell and didn't move. Kagome flicked her fingers. "I...need to find a river." She walked away leaving a stunned group.They watched her go, afterall nobody wanted to stand in her way.

The river was wonderfully cool. Kagome had stripped down and got in. Sure swimming naked in an unknown area was never the best idea, but she had to get all the blood off. She turned back to the bank. Swimming was a luxury, one that she didn't have time for at present. "Kagome?" A voice said softly. "Sai." She met his eyes. He was standing by her clothes. "I'll turn around." He gave her his back as she dressed. She was quick about it and watched his everymove. "I'm done."

He turned back around. Kagome reached out and pushed away a strand of hair that had fallen in his face. "Kagome..." She shook her head. "Sai, I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you, but right now it is to soon." He nodded. "I just came to say goodbye Kagome."
She searched his face. "Goodbye?" He nodded. "I didn't think you would forgive me, I didn't expect it." He looked away. "Naraku is going to kill me, not just because I failed him, but because it would hurt you. At least that is what I was told." He looked in her eyes again. "Would it hurt you?"

Kagome looked at her feet and back up. "I think a part of me would die with you." He wrapped her in his arms. She stood there, tense at first but slowly melted into him. "I am sorry Kagome. I know sorry will never be enough, no where near it. It is all I can say though. It hurts so much to know I did this to you." He pulled away and turned around. "Goodbye." And then he was gone. "Sai?" She whispered. "Sai!" She fell to her knees.

Sorry about it being so long between updates, especially on my other stories. I want to finish this one before I work more on the others. So, like it, hate it, review it. Thanks to my reviewers!! ^-^