InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Silver Winds ❯ On My Honor ( Chapter 4 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
A/n
Hi people, this chapter is a bit longer then the others, so I tried to scrunch it down. Sorry about that and you like it anyways! I used a description from a fellow author, but it was small, and later in the story, and if you recognize it then I owe you another cookie ^_^
Here we go!!! (Review=faster updates)
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Kagome lay against the fire cat, grasping its fur with cold, yet gentle hands. Kirara glided slowly over forests, nestling a small teenage girl tenderly on her back. The girl's waist long hair fell against the winds, waving leisurely through the crisp summer air. Dark ebony locks gracefully blew over her shoulders, tranced by the movements of the breeze. Her ocean blue eyes were now tinged with sadness and tears, echoing a longful, and tragic grey. She held the fire cat ever so gingerly, as if holding any tighter would shatter her fragile hold on life.
She sighed silently, delicately brushing a few strands of wayward hair from her face. Her face was unreadable, her thoughts so strained she probably couldn't identify them herself. She tensed at a sudden chill wrapped in the air, and she held on dearly to the affectionate cat below her.
The warmth from the fire cat relaxed her, the silky fur cradling her body with fondness and care. The warmth and comfort beckoned Kagome to dark slumber.
Yes…sleep is good…
She thought, yawning suddenly, an image of Inuyasha in her mind.
…unless you have nightmares…
Her eyes fluttered open, only after being closed for a few seconds. She couldn't fall asleep now. Not that she didn't want to. After everything that had happened, she had felt physically drained. Her body felt heavy, her whole being forced down by an immovable lead. With only a frail grasp over her emotions, she had grown so very tired…but no. She had to find her. She had to keep looking.
Kagome muffled a yawn, and peered below to the forests. They had been going on like this for a few hours now, and she knew she was getting close. The eagerness was so overbearing she hadn't even prepared what she was going to say!
But it wouldn't really matter; she had to make her visit fast. She didn't need the group knowing about this…no, not now. Atop everything that had happened today, anything else could threaten the normalicy of their lives.
She suddenly wondered. How had Shippou known she left, let alone end up finding her? No, asking that question would only end in headaches.
Kagome heaved an empty sigh. What was she to do now?
She couldn't face Inuyasha…not after everything that had happened. She knew that the time was far away, but the anticipation grew to be troublesome. How was he going to react? Would he still be angry? Had he gone sulking, or would he avoid her? Maybe he had come after her…She brushed the thought off entirely. That wouldn't happen.
She figured she'd cross that bridge when she came to it. But maybe…
She snapped at herself. No, surely Inuyasha would not apologize. Never. Not after what he had said. An old pain resurfaced to her skin, fear pumping through her stomach. Would he send her away? Would he throw her out? The sudden thought clutched in her throat.
No, she thought again. Inuyasha was honor bound, and keeping promises was something he felt obligated to do. Honor was crucial to everyone in the Feudal era; whether you were human or demon, your honor was what you had that commanded respect.
Promises were never taken lightly, since they were “on your honor”. At least promises meant something in this time, whereas where Kagome came from, they were so easily broken.
At least Kagome could hold him to his promises.
Kagome felt at a loss of hope.
Suddenly she saw it. The sign that her target was near. Something that would usually bring a grimace to her face, now brought a small smile … A soul collector…
“Kirara, land down there please…” Kagome whispered, sending Kirara in a fateful descent, the eyes of a certain priestess watching the whole way.
Kikyo made no move to grab her bow. She would not shoot Kagome, at least until she knew what she wanted. She held no ill will towards the girl, yet she did feel occasionally that her presence was…unnecessary.
Kagome's descent was rather fast, and she slid off Kirara, brushing herself vigorously before turning to face Kikyo.
Kikyo had grown more human as she wandered the earth, and now she seemed almost accommodating. At the very least, she had grown cooperative and retained her friendliness from her previous days of life…though she was not the most social creature.
Kagome felt as if they could come to some great understanding, if Kikyo's eyes had not felt so very distant.
But now, Kagome only had one thing on her mind.
Formalities were not necessary. They both knew each other, they both had places to go, why make small talk?
With out hesitation, or typical greetings, Kagome started to speak.
Kagome calmly proposed her deal, small traces of shock appearing on Kikyo's face. Kikyo looked a bit taken back, but her signs of surprise quickly faded, and she listened in silence. The quiet bitterness that had brought Kagome to this moment sunk through her features, but she wouldn't let it stop her from finishing her proposal.
Within a few minutes, Kagome had proposed her deal, and looked to the silent miko. Shrugging her shoulders, she mounted the fire cat and prepared to leave. Kikyo raised an indifferent eyebrow, letting the priestess take flight. With a half-hearted wave, Kagome flew off in the distance, leaving Kikyo once again to her thoughts.
Kikyo had yet to give her answer, so she merely watched the school girl leave, brooding her plans behind narrowed eyes…
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Kagomes next few days were quite…monotonous.
Shippou ended up spilling the news accidentally over dinner. Inuyasha, figuring she left, had jumped away, clearly avoiding the well.
Kagome had returned to find him gone, and the others worried about her safety.
She gave Shippou a stern look, but said nothing. He wouldn't look her in the eyes for hours. But she was still safe; no one had bothered to guess where she had left, or why. Thankful for small blessings, Kagome ate silently, dreading the idea of Inuyasha coming back. Inuyasha remained missing for the night, so she happily slept, though if a little distantly from the others.
She left quickly the next morning, going home for simple supplies and food, only return later that afternoon. Inuyasha still had yet to return.
Its fine with me, as long as he comes before its too late… she thought, emptying her pack in the others delight.
Evening came, and Inuyasha finally came back, yet he ignored Kagome as if she did not exist. Kagome did the same, neither mentioning anything, nor glancing once in the others direction.
The tension was nearly suffocating.
For the next two days, Kagome was much more unattached from the group. She left the village during the days, and when she returned, she was resigned and distant, waiting for a reply that would soon be coming.
When she left during the days, Sango was sure to always send Kirara with her. Kami knew where she was going and how much trouble she got into. But the trouble never came, and Kirara only served the purpose of company. It seemed the world only picked on her when she was happy. She figured this as a bit of solace, as she did not need anything to worsen her moods.
The group moved on to Kaede's finally, Kagome saying there was something important she needed to do there. She did not need to beg, Inuyasha had simply agreed.
She knew why he had agreed so easily; Kikyo was near. Kagome immediately registered what this meant, and frowned. The time was now approaching….
The air was still and quiet, and there was a heavy tension in the air. Everyone's eyes seem to shift to the other, and each was sure to not utter a sound. Except Kagome, whose eyes stayed to the ground, as if memorizing how the road, the dirt, and the leaves looked around her swift feet.
They walked through an tunnel like pathway, trees on either sid, little light, and one straight and narrow path. Everyone seemed ready, and on guard, though they were mere minutes away from the village.
Kagome finally looked up, when they broke the line of trees, and sunshine flashed on them again.
And there, not a small jogs worth away, was the city.
And this too, is where Kagome suddenly stopped.
“Kikyo is here.” She stated, standing still as if waiting for something to happen.
From behind a few foreign faces that passed at the cities entrance, Kikyo emerged from the crowd, a couple gasps escaping, mostly from a particular hanyou.
It took not a few blinks worth of time for the priestess to reach them, and stop next to Kagome who had briskly hastened her pace in breathing.
Kikyo stopped next to Kagome, looking down at her, and nodding slightly.
Kagome seemed to take note of the meaning, tearing up slightly and shaking her head.
“Kikyo, why are you here? I thought we were going separate directions to catch Naraku.” Inuyasha stated, walking up to her, and grasping her hands. Kagome winced, looking away. She didn't want to make this more difficult then it had to be, and Inuyasha was…Inuyasha was not going to make this easier. This, was a very bold thing to do, yet it had to be done.
Red cherry blossoms fell in the wind, blanketing the summer grass. The trees now a melodious pink, created a beautiful landscaping near Kaede's village. The dirt path was also covered in rosy petals, and wind stirred them off the ground, carrying them to the village entrance near 50 feet away. As they were still in a thin forest, they were shaded by trees, slight comfort coming from the smells of fresh pine and roses.
Kagome took a deep breath and looked to Kikyo one last time.
“A few days ago, I left to talk to Kikyo. Although you may not want it to happen, it has already been agreed, and cannot be undone.” She began, pressing herself to go onward with out breaking down.
“And so we came to a deal. To help with the shard hunt, and the battle against Naraku…” she said, building herself up to have enough strength to finish.
The group waited in silence as she finished herself.
“Kikyo will join your travels…and I will take a break from the shard hunting.”
The whole group stared in shock at the revelation Kagome had given. The wind picked up again, but nobody even noticed it. Nobody cared about the winds right now.
“I will return every once in a while with supplies…” she muttered, but loudly enough that everyone seemed to hear.
The unbelief and shock kept their mouths closed. This wasn't happening. Kagome would never willingly leave their group, would she?
Sango was the first to say anything. “Kagome…you must be joking.”
“No Sango…the deal has been made—its official.”
Inuyasha let go of Kikyo's hands.
“Cut the crap Kagome, just call off this stupid deal of yours!” he spat, restively angered at her poor judgment.
“I can't Inuyasha!” she ground out, struggling to keep control over her flood of emotions. No one spoke again in fear of breaking the fragile silence. Kagome huffed through clenched teeth, determined to not let her feelings of the situation get in the way. This was for the best….that's why she had done all this.
“It can just be undone, because its more then a deal. It's a promise. The whole thing has been struck, and its not…ever going to change.” She said, a sad smile fixed onto her face.
“It's on my honor…”
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Inuyasha couldn't speak.
Kagome had struck a deal, for Kikyo to take her place? And she was leaving?
It couldn't be true. It wasn't possible.
Kagome had promised to stay with him. She had promised.
And the word `ever' suddenly stuck him harder then any youkai could have. Ever, was longer then any of them live. This couldn't mean, she was leaving their group forever was it?
What had brought her to such extreme lengths that she would give up her quest, and run home? Kagome…it was unlike Kagome to abandon a mission, break a promise, and forget her friends.
So he refused to believe it was true.
But, her promise wouldn't be broken. If she returned to give supplies, he couldn't say she had gone back on her word. She wouldn't be leaving permanently. Damn.
It served as no consolation, if she would never be in the group again. Even if Kikyo was their, she couldn't just…she couldn't just leave.
How could she do this to him? How could she leave him alone to a journey they were both devoted to? They had dedicated months of their time to finish this quest, only to have Kagome leave when it mattered the most?
How could she be so selfish? Wanting to get away from her problems so badly she would run home and leave Kikyo there to finish what she could not?
“Inuyasha-“her voice came, soft and sad. He looked to see her. Kagome had been saying her good byes to everyone, yet they were all to shocked to attempt to stop her. They couldn't. It was on her honor.
Inuyasha knew all too well about honor. Honor-bound, and plagued by promises, Inuyasha was forced to commit to every deed he had promised to do. Honor was important to him. As a half demon, his honor was the only civility he had left. He could not deny himself that. He would not throw that away.
He stared at her dumbfounded, her good-byes and hugs drowned out by the sound of his own heart. She was going to say good-bye. She was going to leave him.
“Inuyasha, walk with me.” She said softly, walking in the direction of the well. Inuyasha could only follow.
The coolness on the evening air served as a reminder of yet another spent summer day. The sunset lent the sky rosy hues with purple undertones and dusky clouds. The wind blew lightly, shivering through the trees, tinkling and rustling like an otherworldly song…..
The two stopped in the open meadow of the Bone-eaters well, laden with flowers, and crystalline grasses.
Inuyasha could smell the coming confrontation. It wasn't just because he was half-demon, anyone could have foreseen what was about to happen. Maybe if Inuyasha apologized, he could stop all real madness before it started…
“Kagome, about the other day, I—“
“Please, Inuyasha.” She whispered. She struggled not to cry, as her feelings of the other day overwhelmed her again. “I'd rather not fight…If we don't have to”
Inuyasha sighed. He wasn't trying to fight with her…
“Inuyasha,” she said, trying to brighten her words as they slipped past her tongue. “You are a great friend, even if we do have our arguments; and I want you to know that you will always be one of the closest to my heart. Please visit me in the future, you are always welcome.”
Inuyasha couldn't help but gasp at her kindness. He had broken her, and sent her away with hateful words, and she returned to him words of kindness, and sorrows of leaving. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve her.
Inuyasha regretted everything. He had completely taken for granted that Kagome had always been there. But now…
Would they ever travel the same path again? Would her foot steps fade away behind him…? Was he leaving her behind… or was she taking a different path?
She can't do this…
She was much to kind, offering her compassion in hopes of a peaceful solution. Things didn't always end peacefully. He knew that.
“Kagome, please listen, I'm really—“
“Yes I know Inuyasha. It must be exciting, being able to see Kikyo again. Now you don't have to run off to see her.” She replied, twirling her hair with a studious finger.
“I know you wonder about what could have been. You're torn between us, and you worry about whichever of us you aren't with. Maybe this way, you can finally know if you two have a future together.” She solemnly noted, coming closer to him as the cold winds assaulted her.
She hugged him, remembering the way he felt, the way he smelled, the warmth he gave her. This would be all she had to remember him by…until she saw him again. But if they were out Jewel-shard hunting, she would leave supplies at Kaede's, and the chances of seeing them were quite low.
She squeezed tighter, wiping her tears across his robe. She didn't want to make him feel bad, and yet she knew he could smell the tears. He roughly wrapped her in an embrace, covering her with the warmth of his arms.
Kagome was the only thing that never changed in his life. She was the only stable thing he had. If he lost her…he could never be certain of anything again…
She had to let go. She had to let go forever…
She knew if she stayed any longer, she wouldn't have the resolve to leave. With new tears, she stepped away from the hanyou, and quickly towards the well.
“No matter what happens, you will always be my friend, Inuyasha…”
The sudden beating of his heart took control, and he didn't try to stop it. He bound for the well as fast he could, watching her small frame slip over the well, and fall gently to its depths.
With every inch of his being, he thrust out his arm to grab her, before she slipped from his grasp forever.
He closed his eyes, and prayed to anybody that he wouldn't lose her, that he wouldn't let her get away from him, and exit their lives forever.
He pictured the girl, and with all his might, clenched his hands to hold on to her…
But he gripped air.
He sunk on the edge of the well, leaning over it with all his weight, and staring down to watch the lights flicker across time.
Kagome would never know, and maybe she would never notice, as she slumped to the bottom of the bone-eaters well. As she cried a solemn cry, the tears that escaped her were torn with emotion, as if out of some pain they'd been created.
And though the wench would never know it, another pair of tears fell along with hers, from that of a fearless hanyou, almost 500 years in the past…
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A/n
Sorry about the long chapter. I'm had to fit everything, so I scrunched a bit. Also, as a reminder, a friend of mine had this idea, and let me use it ^_^ she's like the best, anyways, REVIEW=FASTER UPDATES!!