InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Slowly Healing ❯ How much pain can a soul take? ( Chapter 8 )

Dani: OMG!!!! I can't believe I ignored these!! I'm so bad!!!! Well I really didn't ignore them…I was just lazy, and still having a block^^; but now it's gone….a little bit…god…I need someone to put me back on my feet….I hate myself…anyway…

Disclaimer: This story is mine; the `Inuyasha' cast doesn't belong to me though…

 

 

 

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Slowly Healing

 

 

By: Ultamitblueyes

 

 

Chapter 8: How much pain can a soul take?

 

 

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Dear Dairy,

It's been four months since I've become a servant in Sesshomaru's castle. Rin can't stand the thought of me leaving. I have told her several times I wanted to go see my friends and family and she cried right on the spot. Sesshomaru burst in the first time and scared the hell out of me. I'd hate to see what happens to any man that hurts her. Sesshomaru is like an overprotective father, just a little overprotective. He doesn't want to let his baby girl go…I don't even remember my dad…I'm kind of jealous of Rin…

 

 

Kagome paused and put the tip of her red and black tipped quill in her mouth. She stared down at the English words she wrote, glad that no one, namely Sesshomaru, could read everything with ease. She turned her head at the sound of the shoji door opening. Jaken waddled in with a rather large lump on his head.

 

“Sesshomaru-sama wants to speak with you in the library,” he grumbled.

 

Kagome nodded and replied, “Tell him I will be there in a minute.”

 

“He wants you there immediately!” He glared at her.

 

“Alright….” She blew her bangs out of her eyes and watched as he walked out, thrusting the door close.

 

Ahhh…Sesshomaru…He may not seem like the nicest person, but deep down he cares for those he truly cares about. And he says he's nothing like his brother….I have seen pure evidence that he is much like Inuyasha. I miss Inuyasha…but…he wants me to be safe….and I did say I would stay a bit longer with Sesshomaru. Also, Sesshomaru has been avoiding me; I wonder why…not that it's a bad thing that he's avoiding me.(At least I don't have to go through another pain filled transformation)… But trying to find out why is none of my business I don't want another punishment like the last time I stuck my nose in Sesshomaru's business.

Oh, and to make a long story short (I don't feel like getting into trouble with his royal pain in the ass) Kera is going to teach me how to fly!!

 

 

Kagome stopped and quickly placed the quill in the page that she was writing in and quickly left her room. She felt the cursed beads around her neck begin to tighten, meaning if she didn't get there now, she'd be unconscious from a near choking death experience. One that she experienced once or twice from not listening.

 

She halted in front of the study and sighed in relief when the power in the beads died down. She calmed her breathing and knocked on the thick door. She heard a faint growl and pushed the door open.

 

Sesshomaru was sitting on a furry throw rug in front of the fire which turned the usual eerie dark room an orange-ish color. His long silver hair was braided and pooled around him. He wore only a pair of black hakama. Kagome had seen him chest bared before and used to blush crazy, but now since he wore no top nearly everyday after a long day, it was as if he was wearing a kimono top.

 

“Miko,” He began. “Do you know anyone by the name of Sukoshi??”

 

“No,” Kagome answered. “Why do you ask?”

 

“He demanded that he sees you…He will be here shortly,” He said, not even turning to look at her.

 

“Where shall I meet him?” She timidly asked.

 

“In front of the castle doors…” was his reply.

 

“Are you alright Maru?” Kagome was glad Sesshomaru allowed her to at least call him Maru if not Maru-chan.

 

“This Sesshomaru is fine,” He growled.

 

Kagome glared at his back before standing in front of him. “You're in denial Maru. Now tell me, what's wrong?”

 

“You dare to order this Sesshomaru around?” He snarled.

 

“Yes I do,” she said with pride.

 

Sesshomaru growled and pushed her away. She stumbled onto the rug with an “oof!!”. She stared at his profile. Something was defiantly wrong with this stubborn lord.

 

She crawled to his side, her wings twitching to be itched. Sesshomaru saw this and began to scratch the leather. Kagome smiled and scratched his scalp as a prize. Sesshomaru closed his eyes and purred. Kagome loved hearing him purr. She turned his head to face hers and asked him to open his eyes. He obeyed and stared at her through half closed eyes. Kagome could've died from the shock at how much emotion was being projected through his eyes.

 

Sorrow.

 

 

Pain.

 

 

Loneliness.

 

 

Affection.

 

 

And….longing….

 

 

What is she doing to me?? That question rang over and over and over in Sesshomaru's head. How could he let her see those?? His face and eyes were not supposed to show those emotions. So much she has done to him. She was making him softer with the help of Rin. `Curse them both…but….' He growled when Kagome pulled her hands back. He did not want her affectionate and very gentle touches to leave him yet. Two new questions entered his mind:

 

What has she done this to me??

 

How does she make me want more from her??

 

Sesshomaru watched as her soft fingers very slowly made their way back to his head. But before they could even touch a strand of his silvery hair someone had knock. Kagome's head snapped to the door. Sesshomaru blinked the emotions from his eyes and regained his posture. With a half grunt, half growl Kera had opened the door.

 

She bowed and said, “Sukoshi has arrived.” Kera straightened and stared at Kagome. “He demands to see you now Kagome….”

 

Kagome nodded and glanced at Sesshomaru. He didn't even give her a sideways glance. With a sigh she got off of her knees and left with Kera behind her.

 

Sesshomaru growled deeply when he sensed that she was far. `What is wrong with me?!?!' He was being weakened by a human's soft touches…just like his father. `No…I will not face the same fate as him for falling for a human wench…' He stood and looked out the window at the creature below who seemed to be Sukoshi. `She had better hope you take her from my hands before I break her body with them…'

 

@~@~@~@~

 

Kagome had pushed open the large oak doors and gasped at the man before her. No…this wasn't a man that stood before her and the doors. No man could have this beauty…or those glittering pure white, gold tipped feathered wings. He…he was an angel… His long golden hair was in a ponytail at the nape of his neck, the wind blew at it making it swirl around him. He stared at her through blue eyes….very much like her own, but icy, very icy. He was clothed in a black kimono that had silver stems and roses embroidered on it, circling his sleeves and hakama legs. They bunched at his left shoulder a bit like Sesshomaru's.

 

Kagome bit her tongue. He stared at her as if she had done something wrong.

 

“It has been a long time….Kagome…” He whispered, his voice…it was deep…baritone a bit…very beautiful like himself.

 

“W-Who…who are you??” She asked. She stepped out and shivered from the cold wind pushing against her small form. `How could he stand in this cold?'

 

“My body easily adjusts to the air around me…” He answered.

 

Kagome blinked.' How did he….' She shook that question off. “How do you know my name?”

 

Sukoshi chuckled. “Still asking a lot of questions, hmm little one??” One of his wings pushed her towards him. Kagome winced and hissed. A shock of pain touched her back and wings as she was scooted closer to him. “Ah yes, an angel's wings can hurt a demon's…” He said still pushing her closer.

 

“You're avoiding the question,” she hissed.

 

“Yes I am, and it is for a good reason,” He looked into her eyes, searching for something. “Have you forgotten me Kagome?” He whispered those words so low that she was sure even a youkai would have a problem making out what he said. “I'm afraid so…seeing as how I left you when you were so young…”

 

“Wh-what are you saying??” She stuttered, not liking the closeness between them and how low he was whispering.

 

“Shh…” He said soothingly while placing a long finger on her lips. “Just try…and remember….”

 

~FLASHBACK~

 

 

Little Kagome had her hair in bouncing pigtails as she ran down a hill. She giggled and searched for someone…who was she searching for?

 

“Gotcha!!” Kagome squealed when a pair of hands tickled her sides.

 

She squirmed out of their grasp and ran towards the large tree in the middle of the forest. She continued to run laughing and soon hugged the tree.

 

“I win!!” She squealed.

 

She turned her head to the light chuckle. Behind her was the same man with gold hair and white wings, Sukoshi….She smiled brightly and hugged his legs.

 

“Yes, you win my little angel…” He said with a bright smile that matched her own.

 

Kagome look up and giggled. “Last one home doesn't get a kiss from mommy!! Come on daddy!!”

 

~END OF FLASHBACK~

 

 

Kagome blinked twice and stared into those eyes. She backed away and flinched from the shock in her wings.

 

“Why do you push me so far in your memories Kagome?” He asked.

 

“I-I don't know…”She muttered. Was this man truly…

 

“Kagome….” He gently grasped her chin and tilted it up. “You know who I am…” He whispered and kissed her forehead.

 

“Daddy??” She whispered low like him.

 

“Hai,” he smiled.

 

Kagome threw herself onto him, her father she hasn't seen for so long. Sukoshi chuckled lightly and returned the embrace. Kagome didn't want to let go. How long has it been since she was able to hug her father?

 

Sukoshi kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. He loved his daughter and his wife, even his unborn son. But fate did not allow him to stay. Fate did not allow him to witness his daughter grow into a beautiful young woman that she is now. Nor did it allow him to witness his son's birth and watch him grow as well…

 

“Daddy, how did you get here?” She wondered aloud.

 

“I fell down the well years ago. I could not go back because you were not near the well when I was near on the other side,” he murmured.

 

~FLASHBACK~

 

“Daddy, Buyo won't come out!” Little Kagome cried.

 

Sukoshi bent down and brushed the tears away. “Shh, don't cry…Daddy'll get him back.”

 

Kagome's face broke into a smile. She gripped his pants as they walked down into the well house. Kagome whimpered from how dark it was. Sukoshi's eyes searched for Buyo. He shook his head when he saw the kitten sleeping in front of the bone eater's well.

 

Sukoshi went frigid solid when he heard a voice coming from the well. “The jewel….” It whispered. He placed his hand on Kagome's head making her look up.

 

“Stay here Kagome,” he whispered. Kagome nodded and let go of him.

 

Sukoshi glared at the well, seeing a red light surrounding the well. He wondered if Kagome had seen it too. He cautiously and carefully picked up the kitten by the scruff of his neck and walked back up the stairs slowly, keeping his eyes on the well.

 

“Kagome leave,” he whispered giving the kitten to her.

 

“No!” the voice shrieked.

 

He pushed Kagome out of the well house and immediately closed the door. Kagome stared at the door hearing thuds, scrapes, and yells. She ran inside her house and hoped her father would come out.

 

~END OF FLASHBACK~

 

“Is that why you never came out? Because I was no longer near the well after you were pushed in?” She asked

 

“Yes and no,” he said. “The demon that wanted the jewel is half the reason. When I pushed you out and closed the door, the demon started to drag me in the well for interfering. When I appeared on the other side I tried to go back but I could not. You were somewhere else….”

 

Kagome, not liking the memory, decided to change the subject. “What are you? I know you aren't human…”

 

Sukoshi blew his long bangs out of his eyes. “You will know later. You are the same as I am,” he glanced at her wings then back at her face. “Not exactly the same, but close.”

 

Kagome looked at his wings then her own. How were they the same? The only similarities between them were the fact that they had wings and their eyes. She shivered. A blizzard had picked up. She was freezing!

 

“Come, let's get you warmed up.”

 

“Um…I don't know if my lord will allow you….” Kagome knew Sesshomaru would do something terrible.

 

“Nonsense, he allowed me to see you,” Sukoshi smirked at her. He had a point there.

 

As they walked in, Kagome became self-conscious from the stares she was receiving. Even though she knew the others didn't know that the beauty behind her was her father, she didn't feel comfortable under the stares. Just looking in their eyes, she could see the word “little whore” stamped in them.

 

Kagome gulped down the lump in her throat and sighed. As they turned a corner and neared the study, she wondered if bringing her father was a good idea. Females were swooning over him like they do with Sesshomaru. Kagome growled, grabbed his wrist and walked faster to Sesshomaru's study.

 

“Kagome, there is no need to rush because of what the females think and do,” he said.

 

“Their eyes are calling me a slut and they want you, you belong to mommy,” she said cheerfully thinking what her mother would do when she saw him again. Kagome was so caught up in her thoughts; she didn't notice the sad look upon his face.

 

“Not anymore, at least for another five hundred years….” Sukoshi whispered. She halted.

 

“What?” She looked at him. His eyes had gotten even more depressed.

 

“Kagome, since you have earned you wings in this time, this is where you stay.” Kagome's eyes widened. “The well will not let you pass as it has done so many times.” A step back from her father. “I am sorry Kagome; we can no longer go back…only wait for a long time…”

 

“You- you're lying,” she whispered, then shouted, “You're lying!”

 

“I would never lie to you Kagome,” he said.

 

“No! It's not true!” Kagome's hands flew to her ears.

 

“Kagome,” Sukoshi's hand reached for her.

 

Kagome backed away and bumped into a hard body. She looked up seeing Sesshomaru with his traditional expressionless face. She turned and wrapped her arms around him crying in his chest.

 

“What have you done?” Sesshomaru growled.

 

“Was it you Sesshomaru-san?” Sukoshi whispered dangerously. “Was it you who my daughter like this? Made my daughter cry and bleed??”

 

Sesshomaru glared at Sukoshi. He was right, Kagome was an angel demon. Though they weren't demons, their powers did level to a demon's. They were mainly like angels, what with their beauty, inside out, and their tenderness to all creatures in this cruel world. One thing that others thought were dangerous was that they were able to make the opposite sex weak. Or so he heard. People couldn't decide what to call them- neither did the angels themselves- because some had demonic wings and others had angel wings. The wings spilled out their souls. Demonic holds pain filled souls, angel held happy souls.

 

He stared down at his crying miko. Demonic wings. His arms were begging to embrace her, but he resisted the urge.

 

“It was not this Sesshomaru, but my younger brother,” he said. Though he thought it seemed like a half lie because he too was the reason.

 

“You are not telling the whole truth,” Sukoshi stared down at his shaking daughter.

 

Kagome moved from Sesshomaru and looked back at her father with glassy red eyes. “I-I need some fresh air….” She walked back the way she just came feeling the two males eyes glued to her back.

 

When she turned a corner she ran. Ran faster than she had been doing lately. `I won't believe him until I see it with my own eyes!' The snow covered land and the frozen waters were all a blur to her. She ignored the branches and thorns tearing her skin and wings, she just kept running. `Mamma, Souta, Grandpa….someone please tell me what daddy just said wasn't true!!!' She soon came to Kaede's village and didn't care that she pushed her two friends out of the way to reach the well. Her heart was racing faster and faster as she could see the well getting closer. `Please work!' Kagome jumped in waiting to feel the magic embrace her and take her home…

 

Home to her mother's warm smile and hugs.

 

Home to her brother's protectiveness.

 

Home to her grandfather's weird stories.

 

But the only place she went was the hard and snow filled bottom of the well. She stayed there. Her chest hurting because of the pain in her heart. Her father was right. She did not want him to be…Seconds later she slowly flipped over at watched the new fallen snow. Tears slowly rolled down the sides of her face. She couldn't go home….and now she had to wait five centuries….five long centuries. `I can't even live that long…' she thought as she sobbed uncontrollably and curled in a tight little ball.

 

“Kagome?” Sango's voice asked from above.

 

Kagome didn't move. She just cried in the snow. Her life was getting worse and worse. `Why doesn't someone just kill me now?' What was the point of staying alive now? Her best friend was turned against her, trying to kill her. Her body was going through a weird and painful transformation. And now this…She could not ever go home.

 

She was faintly aware of the light thuds that were next to her but didn't look up.

 

“Kagome-chan…what's wrong?” Sango put a comforting arm around her sobbing form.

 

“Everything!!” Kagome cried. “Every time something good happens to me something bad follows it!!” The gods were laughing at her…Everyone was…She was a broken little China doll with demonic wings…

 

“Kagome, come on,” Miroku began and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. “You must be freezing…”

 

The two of them helped her up. But Kagome's legs were weak from running fast and far. They were also weak from her experience. Sango wanted to cry from seeing her friend in such pain, but refrained from doing so and called Kirara. Her loyal pet hopped down the well and stood on Kagome's tilted head. She mewed and Kagome didn't answer…She just kept crying.

 

“Kirara…change so we can take her back to Kaede's hut easier….” Sango said.

 

Kirara jumped off of Kagome's head and transformed. Even the well was now cramped, Sango and Miroku got Kagome on Kirara's back. She purred and jumped out the well. She patiently waited for her master and the monk to come out before walking to Kaede's hut.

 

“Kagome-chan….” Sango looked at her friends face. Tears were still streaming down her face, but her eyes were soulless…

 

 

I give up…

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not going to move on….

 

 

 

 

 

I'm tired of getting hurt…..

 

 

 

 

 

I'll just stay still and wait for my death…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not going to keep going….

 

 

 

 

 

I'm so sorry Inuyasha……….Sesshomaru……..

 

 

 

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Shit this chapter was a killer….*sighs happily* now I can rest my eyes x.X

 

Reviews: InuYashasLoveLorn, shadowwolf_02, ptbear, enchantedwolf: Thank you!! I appreciate your reviews!! ^^ Sorry for the cliffy and the long wait ^^;