InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Stream of Consciousness: A LiveJournal Collection ❯ Ayame's Revenge ( Chapter 56 )

Title: Ayame's Revenge

Community: Iyhedonism

Theme: Dear John/Jane Letters

Place Earned: none

Genre: Humor

Universe: Canon

Rating: R

Word count: 707

Warnings: sexual content

 

 

**Warning: this story contains sexual content. Adults only, please**

 

 

Ayame's Revenge

 

Dear Ayame,

 

You came by again last week and after you nagged me nearly to death, I told you we could give `us' a try. Well, I did, and sorry babe, but it ain't working. I need to be free like the wild wolf. I'm too handsome and desirable to be tied down to any one woman, unless that woman is of my choosing. I have chosen Kagome and I will continue to court her.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there's just no room for you in my life. I'm not telling you this in person because I know you will just nag the hell out of me again. My advice: go back to the mountains and find yourself a lesser male. You can't have the superb specimen of he-wolf that you wanted, but with that rack and your girlish looks, I think you can do alright for yourself.

 

See ya,

Kouga

 

***

 

Dear Kouga,

 

I was incredibly shocked to learn that someone as brutish and unrefined as yourself knew how to read and write. Then Hakkaku, who actually had the balls to deliver your letter to me, said that you had dictated it to him and he had written it. So really, you don't know shit, and that goes for a lot of things.

 

First off, you're never going to end up with Kagome. I'd say you have a better chance of getting knocked up by that perverted houshi she travels with. Physically impossible, you say? Exactly.

 

Beyond the simple fact that she has completely fallen for someone else—making fun of you for getting beat out by a hanyou is way too easy—your method of `courtship' is so dumb that I can't think of appropriate words to describe the depths of its idiocy. You show up every few weeks, grab hold of her hands, say a smooth hello, and stare into her eyes, and then have the arrogance to believe her heart is beating faster because of your presence. It isn't. It's beating faster because she knows that Inuyasha is going to start a fight and she'll probably have to osuwari him in front of you, which will make him cranky for the rest of the day. That's why her heart beats faster when you're around. You being there doesn't fluster her in the slightest. The only reason she hasn't told you point blank that she's not interested—aside from the fact that she's a big pussy—is that she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Oh, couldn't you just drown in the pity?

 

And another thing, Kouga, you're not as hot as you think you are. I won't lie to you; last week I came back for you. But I quickly realized that there were much more—how did you put it? Oh, yes, “superb specimens of he-wolf” around. Take, for example, your two favorite protégés Ginta and Hakkaku. I mean, they keep up with you, and they don't even have jewel shards. Think of the muscles! Well, I don't have to think about them; I can just reach over and have myself a nice squeeze.

 

Wonder where they are? Sleeping. Right next to me. Naked as I am. You see, I've been putting those muscular thighs of theirs to good use for several days. And let me tell you something—I'm sure those boys could out-fuck you any day. We went at it all night, and it was goooooooood… Just thinking about it gets me all hot and sticky. I may have to wake them up after finishing this letter.

 

Anyway, I tell you this because those boys are mine now. They aren't my prisoners, but I know they will never go back to you. They are completely addicted to me, and I to them. They know I will treat them right; at least if I make them chase me around, I'll give them a suitable reward afterward. We will simply indulge our combined lust until we are ready to settle down, and then we will start a new wolf-demon tribe together!

 

I hope this letter doesn't completely destroy our relationship. It would be nice if we could still be frie— Ah, fuck it.

 

Burn in hell,

Ayame

 

 

A/N - inspired in part by sakura_kyoshi's week 85 entry, and her *ahem* favorable portrayal of Kouga's favorite wolf boys. :)